376
Alice
159d

🔥 "Aliiiiceee can you help meeee?"
🎀 "hu?"
🔥 "{favourite website x} doesn't work! Fix that!"
🎀 "The error message says what's wrong. It's on their end."
🔥 "But it worked yesterday."
🎀 "Yes, but it doesn't work now."
🔥 "But it's still the same site how can't it work now if it worked yesterday?"
🎀 "Because they have a server issue or changed something that caused a bigger problem."
🔥 "Just say it if you don't want to help me."

Comments
  • 78
    Can this be real? I hate people that think everything good or bad is directly related to them
  • 46
    Server issue, server issue, calling @linuxxx ... Fix my site please! 🤣🤣🤣
  • 74
    @carlosjpc I once got someone angry AT ME because Google didn't load first try.
  • 57
    @ALICE.
    THE STORE IS CLOSED.
    HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?
    YOU'RE SO MEAN!
  • 44
    @Root "ALDI is closed today, what the fuck is wrong with YOU, ALICE?!"
  • 9
    Here goes nothing : I DON'T WANT TO HELP!!!
    *End of conversation
  • 15
    @Aitkotw doesn't work in real life with any contact that is closer to you than a complete stranger.
  • 37
    @yendenikhil 😡 fun detail is that I'm THE on call server engineer this week. So I'll probs get calls like this 😭
  • 26
    Lucifer in heaven, I'll eat a turd with chopsticls.if I haven't had similar conversations about a hundred times

    So many idiots and so little bullets.
  • 11
    Come on Alice, in Bird culture, that's called a dick move.

    Just help him/her/it out, put it out of him/her/it misery and do a favour to the world. 🤣
  • 4
    I literally just had a call like this, I’m dead fucking serious...
  • 6
    @Pointer wubba lubba dub dub
  • 4
    @linuxxx that's coincidence, though I remember your rant about someone asking you fix their website instead of calling the Dev. The irony!
  • 41
    "The internet doesn't work"

    .... "Really? The internet doesn't work? Damn that will ruin the global economy. I better start farming potatoes in my backyard if it isn't repaired within a week. I mean, they managed in the 80s, but I don't see how feasible it is to recover and migrate everything back to paper, there might be famine, panic, civil unrest, riots, maybe even war..."

    "YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. HOW DO I FIX IT."

    "Geez... you really want to take on that job? Checking hundreds of thousands of kilometers of cable, biking to all those central neighborhood multiplexers to reset them, getting a boat and divers gear to inspect transatlantic fiber? I mean, you'll be a hero, the united nations will probably give you a medal or something, but..."

    "WHY DO I EVEN CALL YOU, DAMMIT"

    "Yeah. That's what I was wondering. I'm a backend developer, not IT support. But if you bring beer, I will bring a spade and give you a hand digging those trenches for new glass fiber"

    *beeeeeep*
  • 8
    @bittersweet I woke up my birds again, laughing so hard.
  • 4
    @Alice ITS YOUR FAULT IM TO SCARED TO TALK TO GIRLS AND THUS DONT HAVE A GF...
  • 4
    @bittersweet love this. 😄
  • 4
    @bittersweet I'm saving this for reference 😂
  • 4
  • 5
    Client: why does the server crash?! Fix it and prevent it from crashing again!
    Me: why does Windows crash?
    Client: ...
    Me: buh bye!
  • 3
    @bittersweet Hahaha giggling my ass off at a HEMA while having breakfast xD
  • 2
    @linuxxx Historical European Martial Arts?
  • 1
    @theCalcaholic I'm not known with stores from outside the Netherlands but I would say its a really small IKEA without the furniture.
  • 2
    @Codex404 They're in the UK as well!
  • 4
    @Codex404 So by that definition... An empty hall where they sell hot dogs?
  • 1
    @theCalcaholic no? They also sell drinking glasses, decorative items, and pencils (although those are free at IKEA)
  • 1
    @Codex404 I was merely joking. :D
  • 1
    @Codex404 the Hema is even in Turkey. It’s a pretty big brand :)
  • 0
    internet connection is broken, requests you to fix the actual site
  • 0
    @michaelm @linuxxx do they also sell Unox there?
  • 0
    @Codex404 No clue haha
  • 1
    Lol this happens all the time with family in friends, thinking I hold the key to fixing any possible computer problem because I can program.
  • 1
    @bittersweet you must be fun at partys. Wanna meet up?
  • 1
    Throw her from the window!!
  • 0
    @codex404 nah just clothes.
  • 1
    In this case just tell them you need a MTR and when they provide one show them where the packets are dropping
  • 0
    @AlexDeLarge what about a bio-weapon that smart people are immunised for?
  • 1
    @DucksCanCode Only devRanters would be left. ;)
  • 2
    @GMR516 that's a high opinion but there'd be lots of non devranters left and some devranters would be dying miserably.
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