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One thing the Deutsche Bahn could surely save fucking assloads of money with would be to replace all "this train won't be on schedule on … and … until …" signs with the same sign that just says: "We are fucking incompetent cunts and everything will be late or not happen at all, as always".

Sure that sign would be stating the obvious, but at least I'd agree with those fucking cock knockers for once.

Fuck you, Deutsche Bahn! Suck my big, fat, throbbing, veiny cock, you worthless pieces of shit!

Comments
  • 21
    Hahaha I laughed my ass off at the sign replacement text line!
  • 6
    I don‘t use Deutsche Bahn and I surely know why 😬
  • 9
    I mean I complain about the Österreichische Bundesbahnen but their shit is nothing near the Deutsche Bahn.
  • 2
    Deutschlaaaaaannndddd :)
    Kann man nix machen ;)
  • 4
    Just missed an appointment because of these fathersucking autistic asshats today. Fucking 30 minutes late.
  • 1
    Thanks to the DB i ordered a car... Fucking incompetent meatbags.
  • 10
    "Due to a police operation, the train will be delayed by a couple minutes"

    I once had to hear this message on repeat for TWO HOURS. You get real angry after one hour of waiting and hearing, for the 60th time, that it's only delayed by a couple minutes.

    You get even angrier when, after two hours, you get notified that the train won't depart at all this day…
  • 12
    @Lahsen2016 Yeah, that fucking pisses me off to no end.

    When my girlfriend and me had to take the train from Frankfurt airport back to Berlin after our Canada trip, we actually had reserved our seats. These assclowns took the wagons with our seats off the train (three wagons in all) and lied to everybody it was due to maintenance, but since our train was full, we had to take the next one, which miraculously was missing three wagons too, due to "maintenance" but since there were so.many people waiting, we had to wait for the third one in the end, and guess what? Right, so called maintenance again.

    When you think about it:
    Let's say, one wagon has a hundred seats (there are definitely more per wagon, by the way) and there are three wagons, but almost every seat in reserved. A reservation costs 5€, that's 500 per wagon, times three and at least thrice a day which means those those fucking criminal cunts stole at least 4500€ almost directly from their customers on that day, because you won't get your money back that easily.

    The Deutsche Bank is a fucking incompetent criminal organisation, fucking lying, stealing, extremely overpriced and nearly useless. I could tell you dozens of these stories, but I'd explode in a fine haze of hatred, if I did. Fuck those bastards.
  • 3
    I rode with DB and you guys have it good... In Italy the train situation is at MEME level...
    This one literally translates to "There are no coincidences" as a word play to the fact that, train connections don't exist with Trenitalia... and it's depressingly accurate...
  • 12
    Man you should try Dublin Bus! Here 5 buses every hour means literally no bus service for 59 minutes and then 5 buses show up at once.

    Sad part is I'm not even joking.
  • 6
    In the rare occasion that a train in switzerland runs more than 5 minutes late, it's usually because it had to wait forever for the connecting deutsche bahn train.
  • 2
    In the "most liveable city" they don't even say sorry. They just act like the old one has arrived and remove it from the board (if there is any at the station) hence replacing it with the next one. And it happens too often. Occasionally, they even shut the whole station down, replacing it with bus services, sometimes for multiple days.

    ... Oh, how liveable!

    (I even considered jumping in front of one of the trains while yelling "why are you so late?" but I am not feeling that suicidal yet. They definitely deserve it tho)
  • 0
    Wait.... You're from Germany? :O From where?

    Grüße aus NRW :D
  • 3
    @jackconnorhull Me? I'm from Lower Saxony, near the Dutch border, but I've been living in Berlin for years.
  • 1
    @AlexDeLarge seems a regular problem 😂 I‘m from Lower Saxony aswell, worked in Bremen and now work in NRW 😂 Niedersachsen hat IT nich viel zu bieten
  • 2
    Well, the Danish government spent billions on trains that didn't work. And when they finally got them to work, they found out they were too long for the platform.

    We had similar issues with our trains a couple of years back, as you have with Deutsche Bahn. Luckily, the issues are mostly gone now
  • 0
  • 3
    It's because of their incompetence that I've chosen to buy a really cheap car, so I can drive whenever and wherever I want. No additional stress for the day.
  • 1
    There's a clear difference in punctuality between private and state railways, especially with nearly-monopoly privatised state railways.
    There were times when the Deutsche Bundesbahn was punctual nearly to the second!
    "Punctual like trains in Germany", oh, those were the days.
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