49

Tastes likes a facial from an AIDS patient, but it's decent enough with coke. The soft drink, I mean, not the … well, you know:

Comments
  • 7
    @oudalally Judge me, please, I'm interested in your opinion ;)
  • 21
    How do you know what facial from an aids person tastes like? 😅
  • 20
    @CoffeeMakesCode Got me. That's what I do during the day at the train station.
  • 6
    @AlexDeLarge you could probably update your windows at that time 😂
  • 6
    Well, taste doesn't matter if it gets the job done, right? Or so I often like to think with that cheap wine that I tend to buy anyway :')
    Anyway, cheers! Here it's Duvel for today. Second bottle in and still not drunk. I'm starting to develop a.. how do you call it.. adaptation? to alcohol I think :')
  • 6
    @CoffeeMakesCode I have to confess that that was my first thought too. And I hate the fact that I spent 10 secs of my life trying to imagine what that tasted like.

    Because I'm pretty sure it tasted nothing like spiced rum---however rough.
  • 3
  • 5
    @Condor For me alcohol is mainly a carrier of flavour, like fat is. Good brandy, whisky, gin, etc. all have a high alcohol content in order to carry more flavour(s) and it works.

    Beer doesn't need much, because it offers less 'base flavour', in my opinion, but e.g. good whiskey is so rich in taste, so overpowered in sensations, that you need more than a few glasses to explore all or even just most of it, and that's what I love about good whiskey, gin, etc. Beer is interesting, because its base flavours don't even need the alcohol.

    That's not the case with this excuse for a rum. It's mainly nasty and sweet, but it makes you drunk. Less than I wanted, but all that I get, so I should at least try to enjoy it. After all, I'll work from home tomorrow, so fuck it ;)
  • 1
    Only.
    Burbon.
    Or Scotch.
    Or other kinds of whisky.
  • 1
    @platypus Hehe, the fact that you're telling us this makes people like me think about a similar thing that you won't quite enjoy the thought about.
  • 3
    @Agred Burbon is not Whiskey. It's just nasty Americanized liquor.
  • 2
    @AlexDeLarge Well, you may call it nasty but I did differentiate them, right? ;)
  • 2
    @AlexDeLarge The coke reference did remind me of this article written after Maradona blamed health scare on "white wine".

    https://thedailymash.co.uk/sport/...

    That cheered me up.
  • 4
    @MisterArie that's the term I was looking for. Thanks!
    @AlexDeLarge very true, beer hop doesn't have much of a base flavor but it's got quite a few branches (especially here in Belgium). So e.g. Duvel, Westmalle and Gouden Carolus are quite good, but Heineken is absolute shit. If it wasn't for the alcohol I would mistake it for piss. The problem that I've had with stronger spirits like gin, rum, and whiskey is that they pretty much burn my throat :/ how do you drink them?
  • 2
    @Agred Not really, but it's a personal preference anyway. If you told.me.you absolutely loved this rum, for example, I'd probably not understand it, but accept it nonetheless.
  • 1
    @platypus Hahahaha, 'wine'. Priceless.
  • 1
    @AlexDeLarge sounds like "Die Kinder vom Bahnhof Zoo" ;)
  • 3
    @Condor Belgian and Dutch people generally seem to detest Heineken, but I generally enjoy it as a beverage, precisely because it doesn't offer a rich (beer) taste.

    Hate me for it, I don't care. @linuxxx detests it too, I think even @bittersweet, who is Dutch, doesn't like it, even though he rarely judges people based on their taste.

    I generally enjoy wheat beer a lot, but why wouldn't I, I'm German after all? ;) I always drink good whiskey pure, often with ice, even though it's generally frowned upon (as if I gave a fuck).

    I also enjoy gin tonic a lot. Good (pure) rum, along with a good cigar, is also nice. I enjoy Brandy (particularly Armenian) a lot too, also Cognac (mainly French, of course) and Vodka (Finish, Polish and Russian) which I also only enjoy pure.
  • 1
    @PonySlaystation Bwahaha! Yeah, I can't deny that. All the less since I live in Berlin.
  • 3
    @Condor I also like to get a few training pints in a day...just to keep my fitness level up.
  • 4
    @platypus Training your arms, I see, lifting a pint or two. Good call.
  • 4
    Yes. I like to keep myself prepared. You never know when you'll be required to go on an all-night bender.
  • 3
    @platypus 'all-night bender': please explain, bwahah.
  • 5
    @AlexDeLarge Calm down. Has absolutely nothing to do with Futurama.
  • 3
    @platypus Hahaha! Damn. Talk about destroying dreams.
  • 4
    @AlexDeLarge ice, not a bad suggestion! Maybe that'd be able to keep the burn in check. Also I don't judge anyone for taste, since it's something subjective. I like Brussels sprouts, but far from everyone agrees with me on that one either. And that's fine :)
    @platypus that's the spirit! If it wasn't for the hunch that you're probably from somewhere else, I'd totally (mis)take you for a fellow Belgian like that :D
  • 2
    @Condor I bet my rosy, hairy arse @platypus is not from Belgium. And very well mind me avoiding any personal pronouns here.
  • 2
    On a side note: nobody addressed the double pun, yet, which is kind of disappointing, to be honest, but oh, well.
  • 3
    @Condor You are correct. I'm not from Belgium.
  • 3
    Make fun of me all you want, but my favorite spiced rum is still Capt. Morgan. It also pairs quite nicely with Dr. Pepper.
  • 1
    @Root You mentioned that a while ago in another rant, and I thought it was curious, but I wanted to try it myself until I actually said something about it. I'm neither a fan of Dr. Pepper nor Captain Morgan (well, the rum, not the actual historical privateer), but for all I know they might neutralize each other's negative characteristics and thus taste awesome together.
  • 3
    @AlexDeLarge other than perhaps the careful avoidance of personal pronouns (which may still offend some even while it's an act of respectfully not assuming gender), I think that the double pun must be pretty well-hidden.. :/ mind showing us where it is?
  • 1
    @AlexDeLarge Hmmm... I'm not sure I'd trust a bacardi in any form.

    That said, i do quite like Havana Club Reserve - probably owned by bacardi, the bastards buy everything these days.

    If it tastes so bad that you need coke to make it taste better, is there any point when I suspect there is cheaper alcohol available anyway.

    Secondly, surely coke inhibits your ability to taste anything anyway?
  • 1
    If infections could be detected by tasting cum... I'd have a lifelong career with very high job satisfaction.
  • 2
    @Condor Even though I'm very well aware that when you have to explain a joke it won't be funny anymore:

    Well, it's also not really a pun, rather an ambivalent joke. The pronoun 'it' above is ambivalent in that either a facial could be endurable with cocaine or the rum could be endurable with cola.

    But well, you're right: it's hard to spot as a joke, and even if it was I wouldn't be allowed to talk about it.
  • 1
    @nate Until you died from herpagonasyplilaids
  • 0
  • 2
    @AlexDeLarge Strictly spaking though, that would be a lifelong career.
  • 1
    @AlexDeLarge @oudalally Not a bad way to go! And all for a good cause too.
  • 1
    @AlexDeLarge

    Yeah I prefer staring at the scene where you get that facial from the aids patient over a bottle of Heineken. I'd even take your place. Fucking bottled hobo piss is what it is.

    Port is at the top of my list for taste, like a 20yo Ferreira Duque de Braganca. I love various IPAs, Belgian beers and strong ales. When it's about the effect, I always have a stock of Jäger to mix with redbull, makes me less likely to throw up than with beer, rum or wodka. When I really want out, I replace the Jäger with a shot of diluted Laudanum (200mg/50ml opium)
  • 0
    @oudalally Oh, man, my.sides hurt, hahaha!
  • 1
    @nate Hmmmm. Persoanlly, I'm not sure it's my ideal career path.

    I don't think I could deal with a career that required bacardi to sort out the flavour issues.

    Besides, think about some of the people who you'd have to diagnose.

    I'm not trying to deter you, just think about it properly before you send off your application form.
  • 1
    @bittersweet Where do.you still get laudanum.in the.21st century? I wanted to try that stuff ever since I learned that Edward Thatch, alias Blackbeard the pirate, was a laudanum addict.
  • 2
    @bittersweet Can't knock a good port. I once had a 35year aged Taylors tawny, which was quite superb.

    I've developed a taste for a good single malt recently, although I still think it's a tough choice between a good single malt and a fine Armagnac.

    I quite like Calvados too, though it's been a very long time since i've had some.
  • 0
    @oudalally Calvados <3

    I've had one while in the Normandy in 2009 that was really fantastic. First and only time so far, though.
  • 2
    @AlexDeLarge Make it!

    I had a large aquaponics bed with a rich peat medium, and among other things grew papaver in it. Under grow lights it grew super fast, and my rooftop greenhouse had a small beehive managed by a neighbor so it was pollinated like a motherfucker as well. Cut the bulbs for opium gum, boil with calciumoxide, extracted with ammonia, reduced, vacuumfiltered & dried. At that point you can smoke it.

    To make a laudanum, you just thoroughly mix the desired amount with pure ethanol, strain through a fine filter, and dilute with distilled water. Classic laudanum is extremely high in opium, to drink it straight or in a mix you need to make sure to not exceed 200mg dry opium per shot.

    It is of course addictive, but not so addictive that I don't still have a small crate of bottles. 😄
  • 0
    @oudalally This taste thing is a fallacy. Anyway, if you can turn a hobby into a career why not 🤷‍♂️
  • 1
    @bittersweet You make it sound so easy to a non-chemist.
  • 2
    Haven't tried this from Bacardi. This is black rum? Black rum by them sucks big time, Coke or no Coke. White is decent, i do that with Limca (aerated drink lemon oriented taste). But the best rum is actually Thai whiskey (they insist its whiskey, clearly they haven't tasted whiskey)
Your Job Suck?
Get a Better Job
Add Comment