I told my TL about my aspiration of pursuing a Masters degree.
TL: "You don't seem like the sort that is suitable for academy."
Me: "You don't seem like the sort who's suitable for management but here we are..."

That’s fucking rude

@baeovvulf Which of us? :)

@NickyBones your TL!

@NickyBones both.

This isn't math; two negative things dont make a positive.

At some point you gotta be the bigger person and just shrug it off. It's one thing to jokingly and sarcastically say these things, but being serious isn't ok.

@Stuxnet I don't believe in turning the other cheek. I'm more of an "eye for an eye" person in these sort of situations. Unfortunately, with people like him, being mature is interpreted as weakness and as an invitation to insult you further.

@NickyBones Congrats that you had the balls to deliver such a punchline!

@Stuxnet i have to agree with @NickyBones here man. They do see this shit as weakness.

I would have done it differently, not that aggressive, but sometimes it is fine to remind people not to fuck with you.
One would also be surprised how often this is not taken in the worst way and actually puts one in a better position. People respect you more when they know they can't push you or shit on you.

@Stuxnet Bullies are NEVER going to stop unless they meet resistance. That's because they are looking for victims, not opponents, and anything that doesn't resist is prey to them.

They can't stop because then they would have no distraction from the misery they carry within. Bad for them, not so bad for others if they make sure that the bullies' problems don't become theirs.

@Fast-Nop That's not bullying. That's nowhere fucking close to bullying.

It's just being blunt and a cunt.

@Stuxnet It was just him being a cunt if he was not abusing his authority over me. But since he is my superior, it does enter the territory of bullying.

@NickyBones How is it abusing authority? If he punished you for retaliation, then yeah. Otherwise it's not abuse. At all.

@Stuxnet Luckily for me, I can handle getting fired so I talk back. But people who need to pay mortgage and feed their families will probably suffer in silence. They will be too afraid to report him as their employment depends on him, and less likely to put him in his place.
So being a cunt when there is an obvious power imbalance puts you in a bully's position, IMHO.

I don't plan on working for some idiot.
Gonna tell the HR that that's just how I work and that guy's being a bottleneck to my productivity.

@Stuxnet it isn't just being an asshole once the difference in hierarchy comes into play. That's why it took balls to fire back.

@Nanos good sucker in the face will stop that shit quicker. Violence is never the answer. Except when it is.

I don't know you, but damn i love your answer. I believe we have to stand up for integrity and self preservation.

I don't get it. Why do people have to give unsolicited advice? I mean your statement did not end in a ?.

So I feel like this is really going against the grain of all the comments here so far.

Did you ask why he thought you weren't suited for it, rather than straight away jumping on "The Bully"?

He may have actually had some valid reasoning or experiences to share.

Some people aren't assholes, they just need a little coaxing.

@mrmr You're in a position of power, you have the responsibility of being a little more coaxial than the norm. I know how it's hard to manage people, but when you manage people you have to be a people person, or you're not in the right place.

I understand your point and it's some kind of valid. It's just that even then, the TL have no rights of saying that in a job environment while being a "superior".

@ilikeshred

> Hears aspirations of doing your masters.

Me: "I don't think you're suitable for academy. "

@nickybones : "Well you're not suitable for management..."

> Oops, I meant to say "Not suitable". Was going to say you should explore option xyz first as you'll have a better foundation for your masters and gain more from the experience. But you know what, screw you for being so rude.

I've had many a situation like this occur.

@ilikeshred

I see your point about leaders needing good communication skills. From my experience though TLs arent necessarily chosen based on those (even though they should be).

An arse leading a group of good people can be just as dysfunctional as a good person leading a group of arses. It requires an effort from both sides.

@mrmr ??? Why did you tag me? I don't see why you answer me that???

FYI: I know how public relation work. I still think if i was the boss, i would directly fire the TL, because i want managers (team leaders) to be diplomatic. I would have never said that in a job of power, never. I did work as a manager and was always very diplomatic, because it was my job to be diplomatic.

With great power come great responsibility. Whatever your opinion it is out of place.

@mrmr We are an algorithm development team. All people on the team have advanced degrees, except for me (I'm the youngest).
I did not ask for his opinion. I just shared my plans because I need to leave work at 15:00 once a week to get to my class, and I wanted to be upfront about it.
The reason he said I was not suitable for academy, is because he wants to keep me running in the hamster wheel. I'm the only one in the team with good programming skills (the rest are Matlab people), and he wants me to stick to coding tasks and not develop research aspirations because it serves him best.

@NickyBones a conflit of interest, even more awful! No sympathy for him. I wonder why they don't have anybody if they have leaders that can say that shit.