18
rutee07
17d

I'll probably rot in this company. I have another interview tomorrow which I saw as a second chance to ace it this time after last time's interview. I thought I'd review more since it's a long weekend but I didn't do shit for the last three days. I have no motivation for anything and I feel like shit all day every day.

Whatever. My life is going to shit for sure, anyway. Might as well get drunk to speed up the process.

Comments
  • 4
    That sounds pretty fucking rough yo. I hope that things start looking up for you soon.

    I don't know if you want any advice, and you probably don't, but maybe a suggestion? I think it's a suggestion that works well no matter what the situation is, because generally the shit we deal with is really all about headspace, and this suggestion is just about giving your head some space away from its space for second:

    Take a long walk in as natural a place as you can. At least half an hour. It will probably feel like a waste of time after ten minutes but keep going.

    It won't fix anything, but hopefully it will let your brain start to break it's thought patterns a bit. It works for me anyway, at least a bit. And I know it can be tough to make yourself do that when you are depressed but at least this is something that doesn't involve interacting with people, yeah?
  • 0
    I'm all for getting shitfaced drunk and whail in self-suffering to sober up after a few days and kick butt sevenfold stronger than before.

    Just drink the hood booae, don't settle for lots of cheap, but only for the best booze.
  • 0
    @NeatNerdPrime Yeah that is legit. I often have epiphanies when I am drunk or stoned. It's good stuff. Just important to do that sober up part ^_^

    Full disclosure: I am drunk right now due to emotional shit. So maybe this is a pep talk for myself?
  • 0
    @NeatNerdPrime Oh also I disagree on the price. Decent booze doesn't have to be pricey.
  • 0
    @catadoxa @NeatNerdPrime Are Vodka Cruisers good enough?
  • 0
    @rutee07 (googles vodka cruisers) ... Sure. I mean I would do a vodka cranberry myself but I've never had a cruiser so what do I know?
  • 0
    @catadoxa It's the only alcohol I can order from a grocery delivery app. I can barely get out to buy booze.
  • 1
    @rutee07 Shite that is fucking rough. I went through about five years of severe depression myself when pretty much the only things I did was drink and manage to make the bare minimum amount I needed to continue drinking and having a shitty apartment. It's probably a good damned thing that booze delivery wasn't a thing I had available so I had to go out and do things to get by or I might have died that way.
  • 0
    @rutee07 Fuck if I know if I can help, but stuff I love? watch this vid: https://youtube.com/watch/...
  • 0
    @catadoxa This shit can last for five years? God damn. I feel like I already lost a year of my life for nothing. I'm just not the same anymore. I already quit drinking alcohol for a few months but now the feeling is just too much.
  • 1
    @rutee07 your depression might be different than mine was. I felt kind of happy that whole time, so I didn't take my depression seriously. I never felt seriously suicidal for instance (just a bit sometimes), despite the fact that I was not so slowly killing myself and didn't care if I died.
  • 1
    @rutee07 Also if you didn't watch that video I linked I definitely think you should. The last few minutes are good stuff for these kind of thoughts ^_^
  • 0
    @catadoxa Thank you. I will watch it tomorrow. Just listening to a podcast right now and preparing to drink myself unconscious.
  • 0
    @rutee07 Nah you should watch it now, Exurb1a is VERY appropriate for drunk watching. Like that is the best way to watch his videos.
  • 0
    @catadoxa Better than hardcore porn? Czech glory hole fantasy?
  • 1
    @rutee07 Wait they have a podcast version of that? I've been listening to the wrong damn thing on my commute!
  • 0
    @catadoxa *sound of hips banging into each other*
  • 0
    Drink with me, you guys!!!
  • 1
    Get back in the driver seat brother.

    By experience, I can say the drinking escape hatch will only build the pressure up. You need to release it any way you can.

    I tried to meditate, be social, be creative and all those fluffy hippy shit... Didn't work.

    I got back in the driver seat after I went in a full on anger rage rampage mode for a few weeks. That defo released the pressure and some space in my head.

    With the available space, I was finally able to fill it up with activities that fulfilled me.

    Anyway... my advice is to do something, anything you actually can do to release the pressure. Just avoid passive pressure building.
  • 0
    @karasube I fucked around to relieve pressure and I still feel like shit. Maybe it will go away after a few months. Right now I just feel hopeless and stupid.
  • 1
    Yeah it will go on its own i hope till then hold tight
  • 1
    @nkhan Thank you.
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