if anyone had aids before can u tell me if it helped u to focus more on work or not ? was thinking to get infected

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    I am not sure, if you are trolling or your depression is beyond the level of maximum.
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    @-ANGRY-CLIENT- bro real talk rn i told u ive sunk into endless depths of depression that i can no longer see the light at the end of tunnel

    was thinking to get infected bc then ill be aware my life is short

    so then i can focus only on my work which will help thousands/millions of people before i leave this planet so i can finally die in peace knowing i did the right thing by fighting for what i loved to do and not cuckold myself on college

    no regrets.
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    Fuck man thought your trolling ass was gone lol
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    @Stuxnet i am not trolling

    @-ANGRY-CLIENT- a disease killing me is a good thing because it wouldn't be considered as me doing suicide so its a win win for me
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    @SukMikeHok I've read many of your rants and I beg to differ with that statement big chief.
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    @Stuxnet that just shows how happy you are in your life with decisions you made because they have blinded you to realize the problems of seriousness somebody else has. but that is fine
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    @SukMikeHok Aight big chief. If you say so
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    @SukMikeHok , if you do what you are thinking right now, you will regret it later for sure.

    From my experience I would say Depression is something that we all face in our life either due to circumstances or by our mistake.

    I don't know what you are going through but one thing for sure it doesn't lasts long. Had been in depression too 1 and half year back. Had to face it. This pain teaches you something or other. You will realize the mental strength in you only after facing it.
    Problems are like sailing in a ocean. It terrifies you at the beginning. Once you get used to it you don't mind sailing on it.
    Come on buddy, Stop these fucking thoughts and figure out a way to spend some more time with friends/family. It eases a bit. Eventually you will come out of it.

    If you are alcoholic, Stay away from alcohol or something until you come out of depression . Alcohol not the way to solve your problem
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    @kiru15 never drank alcohol in my life or did any similar stupid shit

    i simply have no one irl

    not even girls

    because i focus only on building my career

    a philosopher said "when a man is lonely for long enough, he will slowly start to fall apart"

    that is me

    2019 is the 9th year since depression is following me

    i am depressed so deep that i have no energy to be depressed anymore so i just laugh for no reason as a counter defensive psychological mechanism that my brain produces

    depression only makes more aggressive if i am alive

    until it kills me

    but i no longer care when i die

    and how i die

    as long as i die fighting for what i was fucking passionate i will have no regrets of dying.
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    When do you want your lifespan to end?

    What if you need to be hospitalised suddenly? Who pays or do you have insurance? And how long before your parents are in debt?

    How will your slow decline affect your loved ones?

    Who gets what of your stuff, why?

    Where do you want to be buried, why?

    What happens to all the data you gathered over the years, your online presence, journals etc?

    If you died now, what will you be remembered for?

    If you want the clarity that comes with impending death, answer some of those questions for yourself.
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    @kiru15 just took some alcohol to calm down, it actually does help
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    @SukMikeHok , you said you never had alcohol and you are contradicting your statement.

    It postpones your problem now and it doesn't solve your problem.
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