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HR: I need a Kotlin guy to fix something quick (in a room with 7 people)

First Koltin guy: I can do it tomorrow, I have a delivery today, maybe he can do it? (me)

HR to me: you a Kotlin guy? Can you do it?

Me: yeah sure, what is "it"?

HR: ffs don't ask too many questions, "it" is Kotlin, can you do it?

Me: ok fine, what team? project? who do I need to speak to so I can get details?

HR: omg you ask so many questions!! Fuck it I'll ask someone else!

Me: How am I supposed to fix "it" if I have no idea what "it" is?

HR: leaves the room

Me: ???

Fucking useless piece of shit!

Comments
  • 39
    Bug HR about an "it" problem you have with HR ... up until you put a complaint in with their manager about an "it" problem you two have. Never, at any point actually tell anyone what "it" is. Then ask if they're the HR or not.
  • 14
    He was talking about the horror story. Tried to lure you with some modern language project. I think you should get your pennywise-hunting tools ready
  • 4
    But did they get it fixed?
  • 20
    Maybe they were part of the Knights Who Say "Ni!"
  • 21
    Legend has it that the HR is still looking for a Kotlin guy to this day.
  • 6
    @hubiruchi I actually wanted to take up the task if it meant extra time which is paid more than regular time in our company.
  • 3
  • 3
    @vlatkozelka the entire company is pennywise using money to lure you
  • 2
    HR.let { it.suck() }
  • 1
    So is HR now also PO? I'm so confused
  • 4
    @karma because they think she's smarter than she is. While I'm very sure that this bed I'm lying on has higher IQ.
  • 0
    @vlatkozelka sweet dreams mate, fuck her gently
  • 1
    @vlatkozelka You are a kotlin guy and it is kotlin you should be able to do it. Hehe
  • 1
  • 3
    @electrineer damn you ask too many questions!!! Fuck you!!!
  • 2
    "It" must have been something they genuinely fucked up, so they needed someone to say "yes" without asking for details with 6 witnesses around. 😉
  • 1
    @Yamakuzure I doubt she'd do that, but good point
  • 3
    Why is HR asking this shit?
  • 1
    @mundo03 she's more of "receptionist" than an HR, but they like to call her assistant HR so they can train her to be HR. She's kinda the goto person when someone ia looking for someone else. Probably why she has no idea what "the problem" is cause all they tell her is "bring me a Kotlin guy".

    Still stupid of her to not point me to whoever was looking for a Kotlin guy though.
  • 0
    @vlatkozelka yeah, that is no way to solve problems.

    I might be going to a stretch here, bit she might be dumb
  • 1
    @mundo03 wait... she IS dumb. Everyone in the company agrees She asks questions like "what is UI?" that a simple google search could answer.

    The only positive thing is that she's affable (friendly). At least until I figured out she's rude, and a useless piece of shit.
  • 1
    @vlatkozelka I ma guessing she is the kind of person that can not put 2 and 2 togheter.

    Ask for a 360 feedback on her, get her fired
  • 1
    @mundo03 She fits her role as a idiot who calls employees when food arrives, and a pretty face sitting at the entrance. She doesn't need to add up 2+2 often.
  • 1
    The It by Steven King. Kotlin's Cut
  • 0
    she wants to fuck man you dont understand, "it" = sex
  • 0
    @nam17887 she's married not so long ago, like 4 months...

    Also fuck her in Kotlin? You know how concise Kotlin is? Wouldn't be fun at all :p
  • 1
  • 1
    Pretty sure that HR is the Latin for Fucking Useless. You know, like how i.e. is the Latin for that is
  • 1
    @TheBeardedOne oh you have no idea... anytime I have an issue, me a Human, talking to Human Resources department... they redirect the issue to the general manager...
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