85
rutee07
89d

I just want a simple life.

A small home in a quiet town with a few dogs.

A couple of hours coding, maybe develop a few products and have a source of income where I don't have to spend 8 hours working every day.

Eating home-cooked meals with a calm and sane partner who doesn't start shit up for no reason.

I'm an idiot.

Comments
  • 8
    what dogs you like rutee
  • 13
    @molaram Shibes are my favorite but most dogs are cute anyway.
  • 10
    @rutee07 and you do realize your odds of getting that are low if you keep doing what you’re doing...right?
  • 6
    @molaram Yeah. *sigh*
  • 8
    @rutee07 fuck that's even worse than not knowing
  • 14
    I'm the exact opposite. I can't stay away from megacities and skyscrapers. But I agree with dogs. Maybe one or two cats too. I've given up on the partner thing, but kids and maids are cool too... I'll need a lot of money for that *sigh* ๐Ÿ˜”
  • 6
    Now, you tell me which of us is more of an idiot? Lol.
  • 5
    @NoMad Oh yeah? Well, I'm.. I'm idiot-er! Ha!

    I live in a high rise building and pets are not allowed so maybe I'm looking at it as "dogs versus high rise buildings". It would be nice to have a vegetable garden though, so I can just harvest my own food.

    Why give up on the partner thing? Too many crazies around?
  • 3
    @NoMad well it's not like you don't have the brains to make it happen. That applies to rutee too. Not sure what you waiting for.
  • 5
    @molaram I should probably use this isolation time to come up with a concrete plan and stop whining for a few days.
  • 6
    @rutee07 ๐Ÿค” we have vegetables garden on the rooftop. Do those count?
    Dog vs high-rise is a bad single choice. Why not both? I mean, you'll need a better structure and therefore expensive, but I think it's worth it.

    The partner thing... Idk I just don't think I have the capacity of falling in love again. Plus, people are either too good or complete sociopaths. The too good ones make me feel guilty for being a shitty partner and usually proceed waaaaaay too fast, and the sociopaths are playing mental games every day. (mostly without realizing it, which makes it much harder to address)
  • 9
    Here's the thing tho, given my current state of depression, chances of me going for a walk at the bottom of the river are currently much higher than me having kids, or getting a stable job, or even finishing this damn thesis. Been sleeping around 12 hours a day lately, and happy to say that I may break that record today. Yay me! ๐Ÿ˜•
  • 8
    And I want you rutee ( อก° อœส– อก°)
  • 3
    @rutee07 you can leave the whining to nomad, she's VERY good at it :)
  • 10
    @NoMad Yeah, that sounds cool. I only heard about people growing weed on the rooftop, lol. Everything I plant in my balcony dies after a few weeks - too much sun and wind. I can probably make it work if I put some tarps or something.

    I can relate to meeting people who play mental games all the time though. One of the reasons I only look for hook-ups so I don't have to deal with that but I've always wanted to have just one person and stick to that one person.

    Well, at least you recognize you're not in a good state to be in a relationship right now. Others just throw their baggage at everyone else or waste people's time with their bullshit. I gotta say, this isolation thing makes me want sleep all day as well, like the time I was on medication, except there wouldn't be much impact since everyone's expected to be at home these days.

    I hope you get better soon. It could still happen, you know - maids, dogs, partner, job, etc.
  • 4
    @alexbrooklyn On top of you or below you?
  • 4
    @rutee07 It's so hard to find people who don't throw their baggage on the other person. I just hope a person finds another one who has at least same kind of baggage and can relate to each other
  • 1
    Same here... Though more like I work with idiots....

    Maybe I should do that surgery so I can just go on disability...
  • 2
    O fck... Can't do surgeries cuz hospitals are full.... Hm... Maybe I can take a leave of insanity... I think only need a drs note for that?
  • 3
    @RikaroDev ewwww no. I once found such a person too. We're still good friends, but if we would ever go further it'd be catastrophic. The amount of paranoia and ignoring the shit we don't want to deal with is too damn high!
  • 2
    @billgates nah biting your coworkers will be enough for that
  • 5
    @RikaroDev I met one who has the same baggage as mine and we just triggered each other. I do get what you're trying to say though. That's the closest I've been with someone, it was happy, we understood each other like no one else, except it didn't work out in the end because no one is willing to let go of the baggage.
  • 3
    @billgates while you're at it, get me one of those insanity notes too, please. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
  • 3
    @NoMad Well thanks for the heads up... And damn, now I gotta reassess my expectations
  • 3
    @billgates Hahaha. We think the same. I've been thinking, "Damn, can't I just fake something so I don't have to deal with these people anymore?" Planning to call the mental hospital tomorrow, though I am legitimately feeling my depression crawling back and it's evident in the amount of whining I do these days.

    Maybe you try that one out. :D
  • 2
    @rutee07 are the nurses hot there? ๐Ÿ˜
  • 3
    @NoMad unfortunately I m not sure even if they'll give it to me... First I'd probably need to have an actual nervous breakdown....

    Which is a bit hard cuz I'm at my parents now so would then probably cause them to have one too...
  • 2
    @NoMad Not really. There was one attractive nurse who wore pink lipstick all the time and she was really nice. Then there's my first psychiatrist but she stopped going to work after two sessions.

    The staff are mostly old men and some really young meat (interns), too young for my taste.
  • 2
    @rutee07 oh plz, as long as they're legal and willing to learn, the rest is manageable.
  • 2
    @billgates The first time I got diagnosed with something, I walked into the hospital and told them I don't feel like doing anything anymore. That time, I was being honest but I think you can get something by saying something along those lines. It also helped that I couldn't speak for a few minutes and cried when they approached me.
  • 1
    @NoMad I bet they'd be good in role play, they can keep the uniforms.. You can pretend to have sex addiction or something and they're supposed to "cure" you. Lol.

    *porn brain intensifies*
  • 2
    @rutee07 ahahahaha. Unfortunately, even tho I talk big(-ish) I'm way more tame than that. So no role play for me; if they can lose the uniform, do a hugs-cuddles-kisses-missionary combo (not necessarily on that order), it's not long before I regain my sanity.

    Can we call it prescribed inner-physiotherapy? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
  • 2
    ^ internal-physiotherapy? ๐Ÿค”
  • 2
    @NoMad
    Man I wish I could do that. I've got that kind of depression where I can't sleep more than a few hours a night.

    Hope you get your furbabies!
  • 1
    I'd totally love that as well
  • 3
    @SortOfTested I sometimes get that due to anxiety too. I can suggest magnesium supplements (if you don't have kidney issues) and other common practices like no screens an hour before bed, and food at least two hours before bed, and glass of warm milk before bed, etc. May help.
  • 2
    @NoMad
    Getting to sleep is easy, staying asleep is another matter altogether. Husband is a snorlax, nightmares abound. Good times ๐Ÿ˜†
  • 3
    @SortOfTested ahahaha snorlax!!! ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ
    A humidifier might help tho.
  • 3
    You know you could just become an expat at a country where the cost of living is far below what the US average is, and achieve everything you're dreaming of, except the sane partner part.
  • 2
    Life unfortunately isn't simple and clean.

    It's a fight of all against all.

    Friends and people you can tolerate are great boons in the sea of madness and uncertainty that is modernism.

    Hold fast to all good things and treasure them while they last.
  • 1
    I had to read the rant owner a couple of times. Awfully delightfully @rutee07 is actually writing something tame and domestic. ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜ฑ But kidding aside, it's good to have dreams. I hope you get them. We all deserve to be happy.
  • 3
    @rutee07 Pick your poison. Homophobic rednecks in a small town or diseases and craziness in big cities.
  • 2
    @irene
    Hi there, from rednecks. Can confirm, they have many diseases and are crazy. Also meth.
  • 2
    If you're lucky your partner can stop pulling shit, for example once I got my gf to feel more secure in our relationship things just became more stable
  • 2
    @matt-jd Good for you! Patience is key.
  • 3
    @SortOfTested can confirm the meth part.

    Theres all sorts of it all over small towns. Always made me angry.
  • 0
    @SortOfTested i think one could do well almost anywhere, nobody's forcing anyone to rub knobs with all retarded hillbillies or disease ridden psychopaths. And for every other situation there are guns and krav maga.
  • 1
    Buy a sex bot
  • 0
    @hash-table Good luck, man. I hope you get it soon.
  • 4
    Move to Tennessee. Got 2500sqft home with an acre of land and forest for miles, for 1100$ a month. Right outside of Knoxville and yet never any traffic, job markets good, Smokey mountains are 40 mins away, I love it. The quarantined been a blast cause it’s just gardening, coding and hiking every day now as if it wasn’t like that before
  • 4
    @dUcKtYpEd Marry me. I need my visa.
  • 1
    That's the song of my people. ๐Ÿ˜ข
    I want peace. Why is the world so fucking difficult?
  • 0
    too nice to be real
  • 1
    We all want this because of the peace of mind it can bring.
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