25
rutee07
35d

We get it, you can build "complex systems" and the entire codebase might as well be your thesis showing off every fucking thing you learned in every chapter of every book. This is like SEO + 3000 word essay requirement + supermall + a 500 page book with no plot in the form of backend code. You want it? We got it!

You utilized every fucking component available in the platform for no reason. It's like you just wanted to use them so you can write them down in your resume. Your code is so abstract that you can't understand it yourself. The nerve of this tumor not to put even a tiny bit of comment.

Let's not forget about the variables you put into the configuration file that do absolutely nothing because you just ignored them. "Woops, I set this value as 'this' in the config file but the code sets it to 'that'. Ooh, the suspense. Debugging is fun! Tee hee! Configurable as fuuuuck!"

IT MAKES NO SENSE. YOU MAKE NO SENSE. The few variables you use, you can't even organize. Jesus Christ. Look at this rectal poetry:

some_url1
some_switch1
some_switch2
endless pile of other bullshit with misspellings
some_url2
another chapter of hell
some_switch3
some_url3

What are these? Fucking landmines? Every time someone asks you why this was used, what it's for, you say you don't know. Then we go back and forth and end up removing them because you say they're not needed. If they're not needed, why are they there? This masterpiece is so far off into the future that our minds cannot comprehend it. Maybe you are a genius and someday, people will appreciate you but right now, I want to stone you to death. Right, your face will start looking like your code - aBstRaCt aS fUcKkKk! ExTeNsIbLe aS sIn!

And the misspellings, again, if only programs don't have to be accurate. Have you ever caught an EXPECTION? Did you FETFH the data? How do you generate a SESSOIN?

Why?

Comments
  • 5
    He probably meant saison, because it's a low alcohol, fizzy, fruity beer that pairs well with cowboy code.
  • 2
    @SortOfTested He doesn't deserve that drink. He deserves nothing more than silver cleaner or maybe a mix of baking soda and vinegar for some extra fizz.
  • 1
    We probably all have worked at some point with such woe of developer. It's nightmare.
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