When you're in the middle of deploying services to production and you really need to shit..

  • 8
    Can you push it into production too?

    We can't touch production... We just give the support team instructions and watch them do it... Or at least pretend to.
  • 5
    @billgates I touch everything.. EVERYTHING then I smell my hand. We also test in production. I sit on the toilet and say "Tesssssst, Puuuuuusshhhh" while shitting.
  • 5
    I work from home using laptop so deploying shitty code while taking dump is not a problem.
  • 3
    Contingency plan: Wear diapers
  • 4
    @iamai I think I'd rather bring my laptop to the toilet...
  • 3
    Ah dude, I'm glad it's not just me that struggles with this sometimes 😂

    I've learnt the hard way not to go "ah I'll just push this to prod quickly before taking a dump", then "ah... crap, that's not worked, but now I'm on a tight schedule before nature calls..."
  • 1
    @bittersweet question is, can you hold all of it until you get to the toilet?
  • 9
    @iamai I solve this by living on the toilet. Little folding desk, videoconferencing system, minifridge, it works pretty well.

    Zoom even filters out the splashing sounds.
  • 3
    @bittersweet How do you deal with the hemorrhoids?
  • 3
    @rutee07 You either reach around and push em back with the plunger, or just accept that they will eventually descend so far that they're soothed by the cold toiletwater.

    I don't think I can even get up anymore at this point, the seat has been absorbed in my thighfat.
  • 1
    SSH to your PC from phone...?
  • 0
    @Parzi Can't. Need to watch anal porn while shitting.
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