Literally taken from a Linkedin job posting for an INTERNSHIP. Let that sink in, they require you to basically be a whole devteam in one person.

Your Qualifications

Currently enrolled in a Masters Degree in

Computer Research Science, Statistics, Operations Research, or related field

First relevant experience/internship in a software development environment

Experience with Hashicorp Vault, Terraform & Consul

Exposure to analytics applications or experience building analytics tools

Familiarity with data science methods and scaling data science methods

Proficiency with infrastructure as code principles

Familiarity with the storage, manipulation and management of relational, non-relational and streaming data structures

Analytic reasoning and complex problem solving involving mathematical programming and big data problems

Understanding of parallel computing


Languages programming: Python, GO, C++, Java, Scala, JavaScript, TypeScript

DevOps: Docker, Kubernetes, CI/CD, Terraform, unix-based command line

Full stack development: GraphQL, React
Data: SQL, Spark, Hadoop

Data Science and machine learning (Pandas, Scikit learn)

Deep learning (Tensorflow, Keras etc.)

Cloud: AWS/Azure/Google

Work Environment
Fast-paced, intellectually intense, service-oriented environment

  • 4
    What the fuck, this genuinely scares me of my future
  • 5
    This is nonsense. If it wasn't so technical I'd recommend posting it to r/choosingbeggars.

    Not only will they be paying nothing(or possibly just next to nothing), but they expect the ideal candidate to know everything at 22, and to forfeit any kind of personal life, for a *chance* at doing it forever for, I'm guessing, a shitty salary.
  • 3
    I'm pretty sure with something like this the technologies part isn't an expectation of what you should know, but letting the applicant know the technologies that are being used by the company.

    Otherwise the part before the technologies doesn't seem unreasonable
  • 4
    The system is fucked, eg there should be no jail time if you stab one of those fuckers in the face with a commodore keyboard.

    Post their email address (since they post job ads its ok to share it) so we can send them some hate mail
  • 2
    @molaram I second this.
  • 3
    Why do so many job postings add that “fast paced” blurb at the end? You’re sitting at a desk all day and maybe get up to take a shit, like how fast paced can you get?
  • 1
    @molaram @Root Same, this is just too obscene
  • 6
    @52cal it means that you can and will work under constant stress and pressure from the chain of command fixing and building shit that no one else can. But they try and make it sound hip/cool
  • 5
    @52cal It's a euphemism for "deathmarch" and "tight deadlines"

    @AleCx04 said it better.
  • 0
    @AleCx04 I think it's even more depressing, you're building trivial shit that anybody else can.
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