I sent all the required documents, all you have to do is sign. Why do you have to hit me with an email asking if the "male" staying with me is actually a friend or a boyfriend when it didn't bother you at all when you didn't know whether he's a penis-wielder or a sinkhole-bearer?

Then goes the declaration of your concern for my safety (safety from the dangers of the male kind?) because I'm like your own child. You ask me if my parents would get mad about a man staying with me. I'm already in my 20's. I'm not an extra virgin coconut oil. Oh boy, if you only knew, you'd get a heart attack. Sometimes I feel like my physical appearance or general image doesn't match the foul-mouthed, disgusting, psychotic little fuck that I really am inside.

I'm just frustrated and need to let it out. People showing me they care embarrasses me (hard to explain) and I also find it hard to believe them. In my experience, people do that so they can extract private information from you and then later use it to exploit or humiliate you. It doesn't only happen in the tech world.

I don't hate my landlord, she's nice. I just really hate the "too close" relationships culture here. I know it's her place and she has the right to know who's staying here, the rest of the questions are just a little too extreme for me no matter how good the intention is. I honestly don't know what she's expecting.

That's the random rant. Now if you will excuse me, I'm gonna rip someone's stomach open, shove my head in, and motorboat his intestines. I want to see if he giggles. Why is my face red? Definitely not from embarrassment!

Good night.

  • 5
    Has to be one of the worst pickup tries ever, and that in a business context

    How about having a coffee and watching DVDs, dear? ^^
  • 5
    @Fast-Nop No! Male avatar! DANGER! Police! Help! 911!!!! :D
  • 1
    @rutee07 I'll help you, no prob. Got a motorbike and a leather jacket, and as you know from Terminator 2, that's the safe bet. ^^
  • 1
    @Fast-Nop Oh dear, you really are dangerous. I bet you also have some of those Satanic skin marks called tattoos!

    As long as I can cut the pedestrians with my chainsaw or char them with my flamethrower, I'm in. Can you drift so I can make a combo?
  • 2
    @rutee07 Haha, I have indeed two tattoos!

    Just use the flame thrower, that's easier for keeping in balance, and it does public good by killing some Corona viruses.
  • 1
    @Fast-Nop Son of a demon god. You're definitely going to hell and I'll be bent over the giant cauldron waiting for you.

    Great idea. I can take their temperature afterwards and say, "Nah, still hot, not cured. Needs more flame."
  • 7
    Yes, you're too cute to be so wild. And I'm not even exaggerating. Like, I thought that exact same thing the first time I saw your photo.

    Does your landlord mind a female staying over tho? 😏 **wink wink nudge nudge**
  • 5
    @NoMad She doesn't but maybe I would say something like, "Please authorize my lesbian lover to access the building so we can fist each other while worshipping Satan."

    Who knows? Maybe she'd be fine with it as long as it's not a penis-carrier. :D
  • 1
    @rutee07 could be worse. Could be a gigolo gorilla. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  • 3
    @rutee07 "extra virgin coconut oil" Pfff! Of course Not! You're more of an "olive oil" kind of guy
  • 1
    The answer rhymes with Duterte? Shitty people are shitty.
  • 2
    @rutee07 it's kind of hard to imagine that with only your online presence as a reference lol.... I still don't even believe you being a sinkhole bearer (ohhh the sexism lol)
  • 1
    @eval Like the mighty snail, @rutee07 can please anyone and anything.
  • 1
    @Jilano Those kinky snails spreading their juices everywhere.
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