41
rutee07
37d

I received a call from a recruiter in another AI company. She's really selling me the company as if it's job offer time. It's weird because this is the first time I'm talking to her.

Meanwhile, I'm daydreaming about the time some motherfuckers will interview me and they will be really rude and ask me questions like, "Why do you think you DESERVE to be in this company?" in a superior tone (yes, I am enraging myself for no reason, imagining myself in those rude interviewer positions I hear from other developers). Then I will say, "If you have to ask that, maybe you should find someone else." I will stand up and gracefully walk away.

Outside the building, I will look up at the sky and see that it's getting dark so I take out my umbrella. As soon as the rain starts falling, the interviewer runs out of the building to chase me, "Wait, wait!" He would put his hands on his knees and catch his breath. "I was wrong. I'm sorry. Please give me another chance." As soon as he says that, it starts raining hard. I turn around stare at him. His clothes soaked from the rain.

Then a major twist happens, the rain was actually gasoline because why the fuck not? I take the lighter from my bag, light it up, and throw it at him. I stare at the human bonfire of an interviewer I just made. I turn around and start walking away. I say, "I'll call you when I change my mind." His screams echo in my mind. This is one of the best interviews I've ever had.

Comments
  • 9
    I like your dark humor.
  • 17
    How come I visualised your story in anime style... But it did suit your story quite perfectly
  • 4
    @netikras You could visualized in anime style but it is a common troupe in anime.
  • 4
    Man, that's dark.

    But hey, if you ask questions like "why do you think you DESERVE to be in this company?" then it's probably fair enough.
  • 3
    Or you know ... As you're walking out, you briefly stop and go: "you know what..." Then go back and swiftly sausage slap him across the face and THEN walk out.
  • 2
  • 2
    @netikras turns out we had a similar train of thought.
  • 1
    That last part was surprising, did not expect that
  • 3
    Part of me is screaming: But the gasoline would burn you as well and everything around it. An umbrella wont save you!
  • 1
    @Demolishun Hey. HEY! Don't question the logic of my fantasies. In my head, I'm surrounded with 69 sexpert virgins with all-natural anti-gravity titties.
  • 1
    @rutee07 that's the strangest thing I've ever heard.
  • 2
    @netikras did you hear them talking in japanese too, even though you don't speak it yourself?
  • 2
    @EvilMorty naah, it was dubbed in english
  • 1
    super
  • 2
    @netikras more like sin city style in my mind
  • 1
    Ive found the best answer to arrogance is to balk and answer with wit. The arrogant are usually some flavor of stupid, angry, or low level psychotic/neurotic, typical of most manahement. In otherwords, they are constantly bored and looking to stir the shit. A little pushback gives them a bone to gnaw on, and lets them know you can hold your own. They may try to test you in response but if you keep at it a lot of them will give up..
    again because they're easily bored.

    Keep it witty, keep it interesting, dare I say even sassy, and you can reply with as much sarcasm and meaness as you like.
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