1
Nanos
24d

Question, imagine the following situation:

You have a romantic partner who lives with you.

Where they work they are getting overly friendly with someone else who works there.

You have only two options:

A ) Do nothing and wait till your romantic partner leaves you for that someone else.

B) Tell your partner they must leave that job immediately, look for another one, and not to see that person ever again.

What is the best answer ?

Baring in mind in some countries, not all of those options are legal !

For those interested, I went for option A..

Wondering to myself, did I choose the correct answer in hindsight ?

Comments
  • 7
    I would never ever go for option B. However, I might take option C and confront said romantic partner about the nature of their overly friendly relationship with said coworker - but only if it were abundantly clear that it was becoming or had become a threat to your relationship.

    Out of curiosity, is this an ongoing situation, or did the end game in option A already happen?
  • 1
    @100110111

    Ended in option A some years ago.

    I don't think option C would have made any difference, you would still have to choose A or B !

    This does of course being up the question of, at what point does it become apparent a relationship is going to end, before it ends ?

    I'm reminded of someone I knew who one day woke up and decided they was going to leave their current partner, but only after securing a replacement..

    I happened to know all involved parties at the time, so it was, interesting to see things fall apart.

    And eventually the one being left, who was on their way one night to put up wallpaper in his ex's place, in an effort to win her back, rang me and after chatting, he decided that wasn't going to work, so threw all the wallpaper in a ditch and went home.

    I just thought they was 'friends'..

    Until I thought it was going further than that..

    One of the early signs, well, he liked to hit her really hard, and it wasn't me causing that bruising !
  • 1
    @Nanos

    And no, going to the authorities wouldn't have achieved anything beneficial, only ruined my life more !

    Been down that route in the past several times..
  • 4
    @Nanos At some point I told my then girlfriend something along the lines of.. “See if you feel attracted to x or y guy and feel like you will be happier go for it, I want you to be happy and even if it’s not with me I’ll be happy for you and I’ll get back on the horse eventually, I’m not going to police you in any way.” Now she’s my wife and it’s cool because we’ve had the chance to part and chose not to.
  • 0
    @Nanos authorities? What do they have to do with this at all?
  • 1
    Ask directly and what does "overly friendly" mean? If you're uncomfortable with what she's doing, let her know.
  • 1
    @100110111

    In some countries telling your partner what to do amounts to abuse.

    In some, just being in love with someone can be illegal !

    In others, if you are too stupid, you can't have sex..

    https://telegraph.co.uk/news/...
  • 2
    @rutee07

    Overly friendly = spending time with them outside of work, increasingly amount of time.

    I did let know I was uncomfortable, her answer "we are just friends.."
  • 1
    @mcfly

    I knew she wouldn't be happy with that particular person, a violent con-artist !

    If she had chosen someone at least better than me, I would have understood better !

    At the end of our relationship she told me that she liked him because when he hit her, it made her feel alive.

    She never asked me to hit her, and I wouldn't have even if she had asked.

    The reason was unexpected.

    Nor did she have a traumatic upbringing/experiences, unless you count her parents keeping her locked away until she went to university.. (Her parents was very religious.)

    Maybe it was delayed teenage rebellion.

    I thought whilst the thought popped back into my mind, I should advice about it in case I can learn anything new for future situations.
  • 2
    I should have seen it coming, I was into C++ and she was into HTML..
  • 2
    @Nanos You dodged a bullet, she sounds crazy.
  • 1
    Well both options are jealous. If there is actually something going on you really are powerless to change partners mind, she will be with the one she prefers. Considering you are the one panicking in this perhaps start working on your confidence and show her why you are superior choice. If she still leaves new better girl will come around if you are worthy if not well then enjoy repeating mistakes.

    All your failed relationships have one common denominationator - you. Work on that and your relationships will improve
  • 0
    @Avimelekh

    FX [ Nods in agreement about working on self. ]
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