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Oh mann everything is going sideways. My whole nature is sounding like wrong, every action , every. Decision feels wrong, what have i done :'(

Its 8 months into this messed up year nd i haven't earned a penny. After that fucked up company in January sucked the life out of me and terrified me to the core , I don't have guts to apply at any start up or small scale company again. And that has been my whole fucking jam for last 2 years of college!

College is shit, let's bunk and do some internships. We will pass at the end anyways. And yeah i did! My mates would be jealous of me for not coming to college , and yet passing and earning and gaining knowledge... I was super happy of this track bit suddenly everything is coming back to kill me... Those lazy ass collegues of mine are now earnings nice i comes, learning way more techs and new stuff while i. Sitting at my home with a shit jobless android skill, waiting for my parents to die of shame and money waste they did on me... Do i understand js, web dev and backend and those immediate job getting stuff? No . Do i know dbs and programming and maths/ai/ml and the other fresher stuff ? No. Doing those start up internships was interesting to me : everybody advised otherwise yet i went on to do so, for cash and my ass teacher advising me to do so... I would like being in an android environment, exploring it while taking leaves for from college to work and from work to attend college... At the end i have nothing. I am nothing... No fucking thing :'( No guts to apply on those small scale startups ready to burn me down any instant... No experience or knowledge or basic skills to apply to those medium/big companies who will give a relaxed , less toxic environment... I am just gonna sit in my fuckin home curled in my bed while waiting to somehow wakeup in another world or past. Fuck :""/

What am gonna do man ? I am shit :'(

Comments
  • 8
    Cry, rant despair now then tomorrow morning face the mirror and tell yourself you can do better.

    Don't despair, you can get back up again. If you can still get back to college then go back. If not possible then use Google and YouTube and study on your own. Get a job again, you did it before you just got burnt out. Next try try to learn time management. You know Android development? Why not try to create an app and deploy. Lack of knowledge now doesn't mean you will not be able to learn them.

    Everyone feels it. The pull of despair. Let it pass you but don't let it take over you. Just trust yourself.
  • 3
    Hey 👋 I’ve been there in your exact position, give yourself permission to not worry so much for now. Everything gets better eventually but you gotta do something for it to happen just as
    @iamai said. If you’re feeling down or not finding any passion I recommend you reading about Simmon Senek’s book Find your why, you’ll find the real reason behind you feeling so down about it
  • 2
    Bhai same bhai. I have a job but comparing colleagues and classmates in better position has made me realise I legit need to move.

    I do have a job but it's just paying bills. No growth of any kind at all.

    While I agree to practical advise from @iamai, I disagree to the philosophical advise. Bullshitting yourself with some quotes like 'patients reaps sweetest fruits' or 'night is darkest just before the dawn' is kinda stupid to me.

    I used to do that in past and it only upto certain level. Then you have to take the driving seat and take full control.

    Slog your ass and get things done and only then you'll move forward.

    And for beginners, what @duckycode said works best. Simon Sinek is absolutely great. Powerful and crazy stuff.

    However, it doesn't fit very well in current world and takes hell amount of time to get you results. If you are in a situation which needs immediate fix, park Simon aside, roll up your sleeves and get your hands dirty.

    Simon is a long term strategy, not short
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