duckycode10428dhey @rutee07 I may not know you but I think that the way you feel is because you truly care and if you ask me that's something really valuable in a world that is constantly not caring about many things.
If you can take at least one or two days of vacations to clear your mind it might help you, try to be open about how you're feeling I don't fully know your situation but impostor syndrome is a real thing and you seem to be suffering from it.
best of luck!
NoMad717928dYah you're depressed. No shit, Sherlock!
Don't believe everything your mind tells you when it has the dep.
Also, learn how to forgive yourself, mate. It's okay. Shit happens. No one expects you to be okay all the damn time. You're not super human.
thatDude58227dWelcome to the R&D world! Everyone feels theys are useless shit. Except the one that don't - they really are useless shit.
Currently everything sucks.
AlmondSauce982127dTime figuring out a problem is never wasted, even if you don't find the solution. By attempting to figure it out you'll be doing background reading, learning more about how the code works, doing analytical thinking, learning more about how the underlying platform operates, thinking of new ideas & things to try all the time, etc. It's frustrating as hell, sure. But it's certainly not useless.
It's also certainly not a junior thing to answer. As a matter of fact I think it's a struggle that seniors have way more - as a junior you're just kinda expected to be spoonfed. As a senior it's harder - where's that line? Should I ask and have people think I'm incompetent? Should I spend days trying and have people think I'm being lazy and achieving nothing?
AlmondSauce982127dThe "best of both worlds" approach I've used is to do 5-10 minutes of upfront investigation just understanding the task, and then set a hard limit as to how much time I'll spend. Sometimes that's a hours, sometimes a day or so depending on the complexity. Sometimes I find out what I'm looking for, and a whole bunch more on the way. Sometimes I won't, and that's fine - then I can go back to the team with a whole bunch of things like "hey, I want to do x, I looked at y and tried doing a b and c but no dice. What am I missing here?"
That way the team know:
- You searched for the problem yourself instead of just running for help, i.e. you showed initiative and didn't just waste time;
- You came to them and asked when it looked like you weren't getting anywhere - i.e. you knew when you'd hit your limits, and just asked.
Both of those are fantastic qualities to demonstrate.
Bonus points if, when you have the answer, you say something like:
"Ah great. Anywhere I should document this?"
@AlmondSauce Thank you. You always give some good advice. Yeah, I should probably list down the time limit. I often look into something and before I know it, I spent too many hours looking into it. The hardest part is indeed, figuring out the line between spoonfeeding and genuine questions.
Anyway, I decided to raise this in our retrospective. Just said honestly, I have this problem. My team mates were graceful about it as usual and my manager said that I should ask whatever/whenever and it wouldn't be a problem since we're a team. He said that if the person being asked gets annoyed, then he is the problem.
It's funny how different they are from the people I used to work with. Lesson learned.