14
rutee07
28d

I'm struggling with my tasks and my mindset isn't helping me. I try to research and fix it myself but I can only get so far. In the end of each day, I wasted so much time and accomplished nothing. In the end of each day is regret, I should have asked for help earlier. You should always ask questions instead of wasting time. But it's one of those tasks where I feel like it's so basic that asking for help is asking to be spoonfed. I ask questions, of course, just careful not to ask to the point where they might as well do it for me.

This sounds like something a junior intern would write and here I am overpaid to whine. The right thing to do is to resign. Where did my mind go? Was I always this incompetent? Am I depressed and anxious again? Do I not care about my career anymore?

Comments
  • 2
    Teamwork.
  • 0
    @electrineer I hope they see it that way.
  • 1
    hey @rutee07 I may not know you but I think that the way you feel is because you truly care and if you ask me that's something really valuable in a world that is constantly not caring about many things.

    If you can take at least one or two days of vacations to clear your mind it might help you, try to be open about how you're feeling I don't fully know your situation but impostor syndrome is a real thing and you seem to be suffering from it.

    best of luck!
  • 5
    Yah you're depressed. No shit, Sherlock!
    Don't believe everything your mind tells you when it has the dep.

    Also, learn how to forgive yourself, mate. It's okay. Shit happens. No one expects you to be okay all the damn time. You're not super human.
  • 1
    well...
  • 1
    Welcome to the R&D world! Everyone feels theys are useless shit. Except the one that don't - they really are useless shit.
  • 2
    *hands icecream*

    Currently everything sucks.
  • 1
    Time figuring out a problem is never wasted, even if you don't find the solution. By attempting to figure it out you'll be doing background reading, learning more about how the code works, doing analytical thinking, learning more about how the underlying platform operates, thinking of new ideas & things to try all the time, etc. It's frustrating as hell, sure. But it's certainly not useless.

    It's also certainly not a junior thing to answer. As a matter of fact I think it's a struggle that seniors have way more - as a junior you're just kinda expected to be spoonfed. As a senior it's harder - where's that line? Should I ask and have people think I'm incompetent? Should I spend days trying and have people think I'm being lazy and achieving nothing?
  • 1
    The "best of both worlds" approach I've used is to do 5-10 minutes of upfront investigation just understanding the task, and then set a hard limit as to how much time I'll spend. Sometimes that's a hours, sometimes a day or so depending on the complexity. Sometimes I find out what I'm looking for, and a whole bunch more on the way. Sometimes I won't, and that's fine - then I can go back to the team with a whole bunch of things like "hey, I want to do x, I looked at y and tried doing a b and c but no dice. What am I missing here?"

    That way the team know:

    - You searched for the problem yourself instead of just running for help, i.e. you showed initiative and didn't just waste time;
    - You came to them and asked when it looked like you weren't getting anywhere - i.e. you knew when you'd hit your limits, and just asked.

    Both of those are fantastic qualities to demonstrate.

    Bonus points if, when you have the answer, you say something like:

    "Ah great. Anywhere I should document this?"
  • 0
    @duckycode Thank you for the kind words. Hopefully, the lockdown would end soon but I don't see that happening since we just now started being required to wear face shields aside from face masks. I really miss being close to nature, going to the gym, even just my evening walks.
  • 0
    @vane Gimme some of that furry tight hugs!
  • 2
    @AlmondSauce Thank you. You always give some good advice. Yeah, I should probably list down the time limit. I often look into something and before I know it, I spent too many hours looking into it. The hardest part is indeed, figuring out the line between spoonfeeding and genuine questions.

    Anyway, I decided to raise this in our retrospective. Just said honestly, I have this problem. My team mates were graceful about it as usual and my manager said that I should ask whatever/whenever and it wouldn't be a problem since we're a team. He said that if the person being asked gets annoyed, then he is the problem.

    It's funny how different they are from the people I used to work with. Lesson learned.
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