10
pepega
11d

Am I the problem or is my job?

TL,DR: Problems at work on a specific project with wide scale, I'm the only developer charged to fix them, work is very frustrating, I'm getting very anxious and stressed and thinking about leaving.

Recently we've been having problems with software that we developed which has been in production for a year now, the client has accepted the software but decided to put it on the shelf for a year and release it publicly now, after that some bugs and problems started appearing and I was pretty much the only one who had this mission to help with the problems since the other coworker had left the job, problems are still appearing to this very day and there are new functionality requirements as well, I'm getting anxious and overly stressed, in the last 2 weeks I have worked 3 weeks worth of hours, no pay for overtime, and even when I go home or on a weekend I can't stop thinking about work, problems and new tasks there. It has stressed me out so much that sometimes just wanna say "fuck it" and leave, I think it's damaging my mental health as well, my boss told me that problems are not my fault since the system was not tested properly and I should just focus on solving the problems at hand, but fuck it I don't wanna get anxious and think about what problem is left for me on the table whenever I go to work, I overthink so much it's like my life depended on it.
The scale of the project is large (nation-wide, small nation though), I started developing it with only 1 year of experience, now I have 2 years of experience which I think is part of the problem since I do not have enough experience to deal with this shit and also I think it was inadequate of the management team to let me (a junior dev at a time) develop the core of such software.
I hate this project and everything associated with it, I'm thinking about leaving.

Your thoughts and what would you do in my shoes? Should I stay and deal with my stress and anxiety and continue working here? Or should I leave and look for a fresh start and a better organized team?

If you are still reading this thank you.

Comments
  • 8
    well your boss seems fair?

    Just say, hey i can't do this, i need help or this is gonna turn into a burnout/severe loss of productivity.

    If that doesnt work, give him an ultimatum, either he provides you with what you need to do your job / put someone else on it, or you find another employer.

    The company exists by the grace of its workers, not the other way around.
  • 1
    Well my advice to you is what helped me - to read up Marcus Aurelius "Meditations". Get into stoicism and in time it will get better.
  • 1
    I think main issue is that this work frustrates you..
    There is no guarantee that other work will not make you stressed & anxious, but at least theres an option you won't hate it.

    If you think you cannot make this work & like the stuff you do, consider changing jobs, but be careful how you do this...secure new job first & also be mindful how you talk about this job to new potential employer. You don't want to come off as arogant, a person who gives up easily, a person that easily spreads bad things around..even if they are true..

    Another thing to consider is the amount of people who actually landed their dream job.. close to nothing compared to the unfortunate ones. So most of the mortals have to put up with some sort of not so great job, but you need to check with yourself if there are better jobs available & if you fit the roles & are you willing to risk that you'll land a better looking but in the long run even worse job if you decide to switch..
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