!tech . Tldr = last para

I have been doing this social experiment about my interaction with the people for last 7 something years and here are some of the details and observations:

- i graduated college in 2020. All the people ihave met in the last 4 years (related to college ) were connected to me via whatsapp in muted/unmuted groups. During college the interactions were usual but once we all got the results in hand, all the groups were gone quiet. The only interactions were when someone posted an interesting status and the other commented in 1-1 chat. 1-n or n-n chats were completely 0.
My experiment was to not post something for a month and even mute status update so that I don't get to see what they are doing. And a month after , i am rarely even opening whatsapp as there are no chats

I finished my school in 2016. At that time all my schoolmates were obsessed with Facebook, like we would play games on fb , like/comment on posts have group chats etc. There also i got the same results : deleted fb after 12th results and today I don't even remember the names of my batchmates(guess they feel the same about me)

We moved to a different locality in 2011. At the new place, i would initially go to park, play with local guys , chat with this neighborhood girl of my age, went to the same tutions.

Later life happened, studies got tougher, i stopped going to parks, the girl and my family clashed over some topic and we changed tutions later. 10 years past, 2 of the guys are still my homies with whom i get on call every now and then, and the rest people are like , we meet in the streets, say hi and on our way..

My parents got in clash with their siblings amd families when i was like 5 or 6. Since then , the uncles/aunts would occasionally call/meet their would be some fake interactions and meetings but once they woul go away (or we would come back from their house) , everyone would take a big sigh of relief

Moral of the story is :life happens. I would have met 7-8k people in the last 10 years, would be on a daily interaction relation for a period of time and then all gone. New people , new time period and old ones now just a name in contact book.

Its not like i lost every friend , there are around 1-2 people that i interact with on a daily level and 9-10 people who i contacted in the last 30 days, but the point is its just not me who don't wanna interact. Everyone just simply moves on.

We humans pride ourselves of being the "social creatures" , talking about scaling and reaching out to millions of people, when we can't stay in touch of 50 people from our football team or graduation batch or something like that.

And this end brings me to a question for all the 35+ people : how are you all surviving in the world? Is it just me loosing all the touch with my contacts (intentionally/unintentionally) or is it for every one? And is anyone even trying to maintain those relations?are those relations worth maintaining?

  • 4
    when things go well you lose your contacts and when things go poorly you wish you still had them.
  • 1
    I've never had contacts so I have nothing to lose
  • 2
    At first I tried to keep my contacts but eventually I realized it was too much work and it's just not worth it.
  • 1
    I'm graduating from my bachelors this summer.

    It pains me to see people around me desperately trying to latch onto hopes of having a "contact" over the coming years.

    I've seen all of this play out exactly the same way. Starting with promises, stronger than ever, to "hang out at every chance we get". Descending into "we'll still keep in touch on text" to Facebook and finally to only lesser visited platforms.

    I know for a fact that this facade does not last more than a year. And the random spike in people rushing to connect with *literally* everybody near them on Insta will breed dishonesty in the network.

    It's hopeless and somewhat depressing to see people rushing to prime themselves for nostalgia in these final days. But hey at least you get some memorable days amirite.
  • 2
    I graduated college in 2018 and am still in touch with a decent number of people in various groups that I was involved in back in college because said groups continued being relevant (gaming, D&D, regular hangout group, etc). Also included are 4-5 good friends from school who I've stayed in touch with. It starts decaying pretty naturally and that's fairly normal, folks do move on. I don't expect regular contact for the others, even a call every few months is still contact.

    Plus you keep meeting new people. I came to a different country for masters/PhD, met new housemates and friends and co-workers. Social networks are dynamic things.
  • 3
    7-8k that is crazy.
    I am assuming the story is incomplete because I see zero effort from your side to keep in touch with people.
    The only think I will say with this information is'?: Relationships take effort
  • 2
    I don't know what to make of this.

    You haven't lost all touch with your contacts: You could easily send a message asking to catch up for drinks, and you have a social circle.

    The size of your social circle is proportional to the amount of effort you're willing to invest in it.
    Some you're willing to invest more time in than others, you decide that.
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