Idk where to start, bc I don't know what's the right term for this kind of situation is.

Basically a crappy work culture and herd mentality I've had the pleasure of experiencing (even now, almost 2 yrs after I resigned)

Idk if this is common in asian/southeast asian culture, in broader point of view I think it's still acceptable though

So there's this whatsapp (fuck them) group consisting of the first members of a large dev team from back then, including the new guys and ppl currently still working at the company. Which I already hate because it's only active when ppl need something/are looking for job openings. Most of the ppl in the group is already working at different companies

And there's another whatsapp group, created by one of the founding team member who also served as the main admin for both group. Specifically purposed for asking donations in case of certain events

Someone got married, hurray, let's collect money to purchase a wedding gift

Someone just had a newborn, hurray, let's collect some money to buy them a gift

It's someone's last day today, let's collect money for a farewell gift

It was all fun and games until several of the old members quit (eventually most of them are). The donation request doesn't stop. A member who's already working in another company just had another kid, boom, donation request. Oh another member who had quit just married, boom another donation request

Even after several months of inactivity on both groups I thought it's all done for good. Nope, someone else's just got married, boom, donations are open

Note, I'm not against donating in any way, it is a happy occassion and deem a celebratory gesture of some kind. But wtf is with this kind of approach bc it feels more like mugging. The admin pools everything and when someone (presumably) forgot to donate, the admin keeps asking or reminding them

In just a week since the group resurfaced, there are already 3 donation requests for a recent event and 2 other events that are already passed.


  • 3
    I'd leave that group. Looks like a collection of leeches. We have the same, btw, but they are not forced. You get a notification once then it's up to you if you want to donate. It's not like a debt collection, I will murder that guy, I don't owe you shit.
  • 2
    @rutee07 Ah, yes, leeches, fuuuuucking leeches, that's the word I'm looking for, thanks

    I've thought about leaving, but forgot about it when the group went silent, should've done it at the time

    This is probably the last straw, first gotta be ready to make an enemy out of 10+ ppl (there are like 20+ in the group but the founding members are around 10 or so) and possibly having some awkward convo afterwards
  • 2
    ... leave? Like, just leave. You owe nothing to those people, regardless of culture...
  • 1
    @junon well, true, I'm probably being too meek about this, left the group earlier today
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