What the actual...?!

So I finally packed up the courage to start looking for a job that wasn't making me travel roughly 2000 kilometers a month..... I notify the company cause I know they might want to get someone in for me to in board for more than a calendar month. After years of struggles and complaining about the same things I finally decided to make the shift. You know risk it....

And now, fucking NOW that I'm dealing with this, made a fucking plan and going through all this bloody turmoil for 3 bloody years trying to make shite work, my work and husband want to NOW meet me half way.... Like ffs guys!!! When I have been coming to you complaining and asking for help for almost 2 bloody years yall just went "ah she's such a strong character, cute little thing, she will get over it..." or what?! Did you just not fucking think that me complaining was, oh I don't know STRANGE AND OUT OF FUCKING CHARACTER AND JUST DAMWELL LEFT IT!!!

NOW you wanna go all... Oh how about we move closer... Oh you have been in 3 meetings asking for a pay increase/salary adjustment and we gave you FUCKALL while gas and everything else went up, and now you wanna match the offers I'm getting and finally give me what I'm due?!

Can everyone just get fucked?! I swear I'm packing a bloody backpack and living as a gypsy!! Everyone is just letting me down by not giving a shit and now that I'm going "OH REALLY?! FUCKING REEEAAALY?!" everyone is just like "where's this coming from" I cannot deal! 7 years of this man. And 3 years of this company and they just fucking left me to suffer and figure it all out and now they wanna jump in... The house burnt down, bye!!!

  • 4
    I'm sorry.
  • 6
    Ouch! Maaaan, shit is rough. I hope it all works out for you tho.
  • 11
    You have my sympathy.

    I hate when life gives you lemons and your family squeezes them into your eyes.
  • 5
    That's exactly what I'd expect from most places of employment - it's normal. They'll screw you over with salary, kidding themselves that you won't move, then try to win you back with a counter offer. Never accept it - move on, and you'll almost always be glad you did.

    However, that's exactly what I'd not expect from a *husband* of all people, and I'm really sorry to hear that. That guy needs to buck his ideas up - he should be the one supporting you, listening to you, and doing his utmost to make you happy. Not ignoring you then acting surprised when you finally want to take action.
  • 7
    @AlmondSauce oh dont get me wrong, he is super supportive, he always tries and as a husband and life partner he is all the right things. But to be honest I think he just doesn't know what to do to help me right now. I'm really frustrated that he now wants to move closer now after multiple conversations and decisios to the contrary to now try to be accommodating. But I doubt I will make us move. And doubt I will stay, I already decided for lack of any options being presented and now in the rear view people are opening doors and it's frustrating cause all I did was try and negotiate. And if it was just the job, and just the lack of sleep and all the wasted hours, and salary, the project, then this would barely be a drop in the ocean for me, but with everything else. With most of my family just leaving me, because I stopped acting like what I knew they wanted to see, I know, I know, good riddance, but it's hard. Its almost 3 decades of being one thing and knowing this thing. It's hard.
  • 4
    Damn, that's tough. Family deserting you for any reason is never going to be easy, it's never as simple as saying "good riddance" to all that emotional attachment - plus of course the work situation.

    Only advice I really have is don't rush, but sit down for a day or two and just really discuss & think about the options you have (if you can have an honest conversation with your husband where he'll listen rather than brushing you off then do that too.) More money is nice, but if your main demotivater is the travel then that's really the thing I'd say needs to be solved at least in the medium term.

    Either way though, all the best and hope things work out.
  • 4
    Great rant ++. Hope you make it work. Take a break as you now know how to get a raise and your husband's attention. Good job.
  • 4
    I'm sorry. That sounds pretty frustrating. Maybe take a break and then?
  • 5
    @AlmondSauce thanks so much, you have no idea how much I needed to hear someone not just telling me to brush it off and move on... Thanks for that. I will take some time and think things through, I think that's my best approach.
  • 8
    When I switched to a different team a few years ago, I almost had a falling-out with my best friend at the company (my former manager).

    I had been the key escalation point for our team, and tried to pull my weight as much as possible for him to be able to relax a bit. He was always so stressed-out, and I liked being the most senior guy on the team.

    However, when I asked for pay raises, he just couldn't deliver. After over 4 years of being one of the lowest paid on the team, and much less compared to the people who were escalating things to me, I let my manager know that I couldn't stay on the team much longer if I didn't receive a meaningful raise. He turned-up with something a tiny bit better than usual, but I still felt slighted, and was still making less than lower team members.

    When a much higher-paying position on another team was offered to me, he finally was able to get me something good, but I turned it down, and pursued the other job. One of the best decisions of my life.
  • 6
    Sorry you’re in this shitty situation. I have no advice that hasn’t already been given but you have my support and I sympathise with you. It’s gonna be ok.
  • 1
    What du you think about accepting that raise / the improved conditions
    and just then bailing with a higher payslip to the next employer you're applying to right now?
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