13
rutee07
18d

What the fuck is wrong with me these days? I had very easy tasks that require very little code change but my head is stuck in suspicious mode after working on other complex tickets that it can't seem to believe that these tasks could really be THAT easy. My estimates include confusion, bitching, self-doubt, despair, and actual work. Actual work takes less than an hour - code, tests, documentation.

After a whole day of nonsense, I'm finally tired enough to get some sleep. I wake up in the morning and finish everything an hour before work begins. Ugh.

Where do my colleagues find the patience to work with me? Why the fuck did you hire me? Why am I still here? How do you justify my salary?

Comments
  • 4
    Maybe you just work so much that your performance has degraded.
  • 3
    Read task, look around the code and take a nap, work responsibly.
  • 1
    burnout 🤷 you need a break
  • 1
    @darksideofyay Hmm.. I've been thinking about it.
  • 1
    @rutee07 i didn't think rest was gonna get me out of that headspace when i was in it. i even considered changing careers. but during the holidays i realized that i was miserable because of my job, so i quit soon after, best decision
  • 1
    @rutee7 I have been in a similar situation. It turned out to be a mix of burnout and impostor syndrome. I asked for a feedback to my partners and my manager. And they actually are very happy with my performance and working along with me. And it seems that they also tend to over estimate things from time to time. And do the same as I did (from time to time) So it turned out to be mostly my anxiety and my guilt the ones to blame how I felt. Almost everything was in my mind.
    Important to me to me to though that I always try to be nice and wholesome with my colleagues. So if you are like that too then probably it's all on your mind too.
    I hope my words helps you to ease your mind and gives you resolution
  • 1
    @mysshell It does help somehow. Thank you.
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