The intern again. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!

She's now done the Laravel course my manager bought her, so now she feels she's ready to tackle a real world project. Hahahaha.

Okay, I have a project set up: Replicate a simple existing website that only has a basic header, some picture thumbnails and a footer element using Laravel. I've already installed Statamic and everything she needs as dev dependencies and made a step-by-step README.md file for her to get the site running locally on her machine. I told her to replicate the home page HTML.

She didn't read the readme file after I've told her multiple times in the past to do so. She tries to run the Laravel application without running composer update and all the other commands I listed in the readme file, and doesn't read the fucking console errors she's getting. She cloned the project into another Laravel project and her files are a fucking mess.

I am sick and fucking tired of telling my manager that she is not suited for this industry, she's just costing the company money and wasting my fucking time. I have been unable to focus for the past month and a half because of her.

She can't even fucking Google the console errors she's getting, just hopping on MS Teams asking me to help without even trying to solve it on her own.

I want to cry. Fuck this company and its stupid CULTure.

  • 10
    We have a colleague like that, shes been with us for the past 18 months. I dont even know what shes doing for the past 2 months. Shes not in standups, drops tasks as soon as they get too complex for her. Its still a mistery to me on how shes still in this job. Hopefully she will be kicked out after this year's annual review.
  • 26
    Try asking them questions instead of giving them answers.

    When the question is, "how do I....?" Ask, "where do you think you would start?"

    Also, never share your screen. Make them drive the whole thing.

    It will be painful at first, but I have never had things backfire on me when I ask leading questions for jr's to answer their own questions.
  • 9

    You must have never stared down eerie silence, for a man who had stared down this void would prefer the abyss.
  • 12
    @TheCommoner282 I welcome the silence. I'll happily sit on a call while any Jr sits and silently has a mental breakdown.

    And if they say the dreaded, " I don't know." I respond with, "how would you find out?"

    I had one jr that just kept telling me they just don't know. Eventually I asked them, "if you don't know I can't tell you because I don't know either. So I don't know why you're asking for my help."

    They stopped bothering me and eventually quit.
  • 7
    @sariel Indeed. Any great coach needs to be comfortable with uncomfortable silence.

    Don't give people the answers. Just sit there quietly until they get to the right answer. That's how people will learn.

    Junior need mentoring. I don't really know what it is in your company that's so bad about hiring one? Have you been assigned to mentor this person? Do you receive extra pay for it? Does your manager understand that it's costing you time away from your work when you do this?
  • 2
    @sariel good advice for training people who already are past the toddler stage and can actually comprehend questions and does not need to lie in the resume.

    The OP doesn't have ambitions nor time to train anyone it's obviously a crap hire. Any time invested here is time waisted. Also because the OP doesn't really want to I feel.

    This is based on previous rant. Already gave advice there. You have more than enough ammunition to defend yourself.
  • 5
    OP, find a way to keep appereances while being able to focus on your own work. Schedule time for questions. For example schedule half an hour in the beginning of your day and then half an hour for end of the day. In this way you will minimize interruptions
  • 0
    Additional to the aboves...

    this is the first time I've heard of Statamic.
  • 2
    As a junior let me add my 2 cents. I started working as an Intern for an AWS global partner in the summer of this year. All projects that I worked on were already in existence before I was there, the size was nothing compared to my simple personal projects, at first everything seemed overwhelming, but looking back I realized that they’re relatively simple task that just required me a to question myself and write down the steps required to solve the task. I had and still have a really helpful senior which is a big advantage. Nowadays I only turn to him as a last resort.

    What I learned:

    1. Write pseudocode if you’re having a problem

    2. Question yourself

    3. Learn how to google

    4. Learn SOLID and most used design principles along with best practices for a given framework/library/language.

    5. Most importantly read the docs.
  • 1
    @hjk101 Yeah, the main thing that really got to me is how I as tricked by management into this thing. I was told one thing some months ago, and then out of the blue I got this person who I knew nothing about, I had to ask my manager multiple times to send me her CV so I can have a better understanding with what I am dealing with and how to prepare for this person. All I got was silence. Then a month into the process I was told it's a literal experiment. I am sure I am not the only person who dislikes being deceived. I don't mind helping someone, but this right now is literally teaching a baby how to hold a spoon.

    Last time I was part of the interview process of another intern and it went really well, but he accepted another job.
  • 2
    @sariel excellent advice, thanks. This is what I will do today, "pair programming" :D
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