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Easy to solve.
Send him a retainer contract for 10 hours of work. Pay upfront. Charge per hour 10 times what *you* think your time is worth. Any request he makes - remind him you are waiting for his signature and payment. before you can answer any question. Also - any time you spend on answering him is charged.
He will disappear like a fart in the wind. -
Let me see if I got it:
1) Friend F has access in company C to get their financials and send them to @bigmonsterlover (OP), an outsider.
2) F can change C based only in OP's technical opinion. Let's assume he is the big boss over at C.
3) C has such messy accounting practices that it has financial problems and dark matter in their cash flow. A company that has this type of problems is not data-driven. It is barely even driven at all.
4) If F has so much power in C, than C's problems must be at least partially F's fault. Thus, F does not have a data-driven process, and hardly the discipline for it.
5) F might be trying to do a life changing switch to data driven, but one do not bargains for life changes. Thus we assume F will not actually be data driven.
6) F is not fiscally responsible.
Ergo:
>>> F is wasting money when asking for OP's opinion.
Suggestion:
Don't bother with analytics, give him a stacked column chart and a data CSV and charge him $$$ of with he will hardly pay $. -
@JsonBoa close, F owns the company. It's a nice suggestion though
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@bigmonsterlover the argument still holds! good luck...
A friend's company is going through a hard time and he asked me to check out their books and do a "data driven" solution as he put it. As a good friend I did.
WHAT A MESS
Apparently there's huge sums of cash missing, for a company that size. Worst one was 7.5k missing for one sale they did.
I did not, however, start creating any solution because the dude kept flirting with haggling by constantly asking me what the price would be for it. Nor have I run any ML on it because, yes, THE DUDE KEPT ASKING ME WHAT THE PRICE WOULD BE?!
How the fuck am I fucking going to give you a fucking price if you motherfucker keeps trying to fucking bargain and don't fucking save time to have a meet up?? To fucking tell me what the-fuck is it you need?!??! Motherfucker the way this shit is it's A FUCKING MONEY BLACK HOLE!
HOW THE FUCK CAN I FUCKING KNOW WHAT THE FUCKING PRICE WILL BE IF YOU'RE TOO FUCKING BUSY TO SET UP A FUCKING MEETING YOU FUCK!!!!
That's it, I'm building a scare-plot! Something that will make him shit his capitalist pants. Even if I've already done some sorting that shit out, I'm charging for that. Did he know I'd fix that data as soon as he sent it to me? I don't know, what I know is I AM FUCKING KEEPING IT UNTIL THAT MOTHERFUCKER MEETS AND PAYS FOR IT
rant