If you ever feel useless remember, Samsung has it's own App store

*Reinstalls devrant
*Double taps some rants
DevRant: Dood did you know that you can DOUBLE TAP rants to updoot!?!

Classic

He should make tutorials: "How to cause an exception"

Please kindly fuck off. I don't need your genderbiased bullshit. I couldn't care less about a programmer's gender.
I'm also aware about the margin between the numbers of female and male dev who want to study CS, but if you seriously think that a learning algorithm is biased on gender and ethnic it's creator, I will have to kindly remind you that math doesn't support an output based on your gender.

Now please get the fuck off my sacred newsfeed...

the eclipse "Dark" theme is brighter than my future

They should reconsider their icon 😅

I want to make a worm that recognizes when the user is using headphones and occasionally play a silent footstep sound behind them.

Friend: You can't just use sudo, whenever something doesn't work
Me:

"Welcome to everybody's favorite show: Did It Break!?!"

"Here's our first contestant, Alex Brooklyn!"

* Audience claps *

''Tell us Alex, what command did you use?!"

ls -la

"And did it break production?!"

Not yet..., the website is still up, even checked without cache and on a different network, I haven't had any calls in half an hour and Sentry reports nothing

"Great to hear! On to round 2!"

Happy 33333 @dfox!

Teacher: "Are you using HTML or CSS for your website"

Sarcastic Error message from VLC.

Hi, I've tried to open this strange Hard Disk, I was wondering if it was an old model.
I mean, I can't find a cable to use!

Fricking Italians cooking spaghetti in my code projects

(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻🍝

When you try to fix a library

!rant

System.out.println(age);
if (birthday.isToday())
age++;
System.out.println(age);

Output:
17
18

*Reads some text about frequencies
"Oh, bass is within 40-100hz. How does it sound?"
*Clicks on demo audio*
*Table trembles*
*Cat jumps high and runs off*
*Pauses audio*
"Yup, that's bass"

I've tried to double tap a Stack Overflow post...

So apparently I (as admin) do not have the necessary rights to delete I folder I created.

Thanks Windows

Email: Hi [...], If you can't see this message check in the Spam folder!

Me: ah, ok.

Today pycharm recommended me to simplify "if x > min and x > max"

Result: "if min < x < max"

Thank you for enlightening me, JetBrains

I'm a simple man, I want to:
- get along with everybody
- be able to depend on my coworkers
- use whatever editor I want
- have vcs (preferably git)
- listen to music while coding
- work with people who share my hobbies (optional)

Ported a Java class to Kotlin. 200 lines of code removed and much cleaner structure.

FeelsGoodMan

- Hey it's lunch time!
- Yeah let me push these changes...
- No! You'll do it later.
- But, it will take 2 minutes!
- NO! WE'RE HAVING LUNCH NOW.

Windows crashes ._.

Person: I see you're training your neural net. How's it doing?
Me: Well...

It's almost 3 am.

I'm implementing a upvote system. A post got negative points. You can only upvote in my system. fuck

Today we will play a new game,
Reddit: find the error 😂

*writes code in 10 minutes*
"Time to debug this"
*debugging?*
*starts to feel hungry*
"How late is it?"
*2 hours have passed*
"Wtf"

Even PHP developers think your documentation is bad

!rant

:)

Me: "Hey <coworker>, I got this mistake do you know why?"
Coworker: "Seems to me like you didn't put <thing> in there"
Me: "No way, I just edited it here"
*looks at file*
"Oh, I didn't save that"
*saves file*
"Oh hey, it works now 😅"
Office: 🤣🤣🤣

Mondays, I guess 🤷‍♂️

People who rant about their phone making bad photos that are surprised when I make good photos on them...

JUST F*CK OFF AND HOLD IT HORIZONTAL AND WITH 2 HANDS LIKE I TOLD YOU LONG.MAX_VALUE TIMES

Chase Bank Burning by Alex Schaefer

"This is a "plein air" painting which means I set up my easel right across the street of this Chase bank in my city and painted it like it had caught fire. The police questioned me on the spot. Three weeks later Homeland Security was knocking on the door to my home. The question they kept asking me was "Do you hate these banks?" I can honestly say yes."

That moment you write your full rant, want to submit it, but in that very same moment the app crashes.

Now my rant is gone, but I'm not angry enough anymore.

I still wanna rant😑

When your phones micro SD card has a bit more storage than expected

30 chars for your email address? You've got to be kidding me (mine has 32)

So, this baby just arrived :)

Now every game I can think of... Nahh, we all know that this helps you in programming by giving you some power

Fuck off cancerous piece of shit on stackoverflow whose dick is an obvious inverse proposition to ego and incapablility to read.

I asked if there's "clean" way, of doing something. I provided my solution to the problem

Your answer and coments make it pretty obvious that you:
* don't really care about (code) quality
* value your reputation just as much as some teen on facebook sucking cook for likes or whatever they use now
* downvoted my question because you can't handle critique in the slightest
* You immediately replied with "but op said..." even though I am the fucking op and if I say _imo_ a fucking for-loop within function is less readable than 3 chained function-calls it and does not include the feature I asked for, it means you have to justify your answer and not get triggered and downvote my fucking question.

After I confronted him about this shit he just said "If you had studied the language for more than 10 minutes you would have known than you can't do that."

And if you had some a basic reading skill you could improve my workaround or tell me just that, instead of providing me with that useless information you vomited out just to get some ez SO reputation.

Piece of shit didn't even deny the anyyhing.

Shove a vibrator up your ass until it arrives at your skull and activate it. Maybe that will stimulate your brain or hopefully upgrade it.

I don't care how much "reputition" you may have "earned" on the internet. I am not afraid to call your bullshit or your sheer pathetic existence out.

People like this are are the reason SO gets so much hsge and even tough I got an improved version for my workaround (from an other user), I'm nowhere near happiness.

Note, the Useful-to-retarded-ratio is
1: 3

Application(s) that remind you to take care of your hands

Idk if somebody already told you this today, so I'll do it just to be safe.

FUCK JAVA SERVER PAGES
FUCK JAVA SERVER FACES
FUCK JSWING
FUCK JQUERY
AND ESPECIALLY FUCK JQUERY UI
FUCK ALL OF THIS OUTDATED SHIT
I'LL NEVER USE IT AFTER SCHOOL, BECAUSE IT'S SHIT!
Repeat after me

S H I T !

Never underestimate the power of developers on stackoverflow.

If you forget a single restriction they will find solutions that perfectly match your question but not your problem.

Don't you hate it when amazon algorithm screws up and recommends you incest anime?

Me to friend: "I'm going to install Ubuntu on a virtual machine. I mean even I couldn't screw up to install ubuntu"

5 minutes later...

Me to Friend: "I screwed up, I didn't give Ubuntu enough memory and have to restart the process"

Sometimes I should think twice before committing (Thank god there are no contributors beside me yet)

I wish I could CTRL+Z my haircut

Coworker: You see, once you get older, you learn to not worry yourself with what browser you should use and just use safari

^--- Only 2 years older

Me: ...
Me: Don't try to justify that €12 spend on a json viewer for safari.

Today was a productive day

Was explaining a technical concept at a "family" dinner. Suddenly stepmother wanted my help for something technical.

Stepmother: Say Awlex, could you help me install some software I recently bought?

Me: (Not this shit again) I even don't know what software you're talking about. How is the software called, what does it do?
Sm: it's calles digital... *long pause*
Me: (I don't like where this is going)
Sm: software... *another long pause*
Me: (fuck me harder than that lightly clothed woman outside)
Sm: something... *long pause*
Me: (alright brain, which way out of here doesn't involves me creating a bullet hole in either one of us?)
Sm: And you can use it to sell something...
Me: (tf do you event sell?!)
Sm: but not like ebay
Me: (what is it then? A platform for selling services? I don't even know what kind of software you'd have to install, given that most of these platforms are be web applications, whcih makes sense for selling stuff on the internet)
Sm: Anyway, could you help me install it? It would take me hours to get into it.
Me: (You think just installing would solve it? As soon as I install it, you probably expect me to be your walking manual as well, don't you?) Look, I'm gonna be honest with you, since I started working I don't have nearly as much free time as I used to have (Not everybody works when they feel like it, you know that?) I get home at around almost 7pm (most of the time) and don't really wanna work afterwards. Most of the time there's a support service from the people who made this software and they would be glad to help you. (Sorry support team, for pushing this bundle of incompetence onto you, but I guess she didn't even listen to my advice).

After that she didn't back down and still wanted my help. Then my grandmother derailed the conversation and got me out of this. When I thanked her later she yold me that she saw I saw uncomfortable and wanted to help. I love my grandmother.

So I am not going to be your "family" tech support. You b(r)ought this onto yourself. Are more than twice my age and still can't use your brain to solve problems like these on your own and you can even less reason abiut your motives and desires when asking for help. I am sick of you and shutty opinions about people, just because I work as a software engineer doesn't mean I'm exist solely for satisfying your unreasonable desires.

Stop offending me and my profession and get yourself some common sense.
Protip #0: Give me one fucking reason to help you, because you're not family enough and your personality really doesn't bring forth any emotion but annoyance

For a project day we had to write a game of our choice in Java.

"You should make this game using the JSwing library and make each component a JComponent"

Later I learned you can simply use a Bitmap as a canvas.

NEVER. EVER. BASE. YOUR. GAME. ON. SWING.
It inefficient to the top of my taskmanager. I had to wrap everything with something like a virtual playground where I had to manage everything myself to not roast my cpu.

I had alot more fun debugging hundred lines of C code with print statements than writing that shit

when you find a TODO in the code, git blame it, and find out it's been there for five years :(

Tl;dr

Longest Rant I've written so far.

How to manage a school (by out school director):

Did this student do something spezial to emphasize the school?
-No: Ignore him
-Yes: Did the student achieve this with the help of this schools staff?
-No: Take all the credit
-Yes: Hahaha, just a joke, nobody receives help from the school. Goto -No

Q: Should this class get the 5 day trip, they've been waiting for the whole year?
Director: No.
Q: But they don't even participate in other trips just to go there.
D: No
(Good thing she did not have the last word there)

Does the school director need this one week trip to india, just to talk once about stuff, you can talk about via email, to a sponsor?
D: "Of course I deserve it"

D: "We need faster internet in this school"
Network admins: "But it won't be of any use, if the network can't handle it. We'll need better pcs (and network conponents) on top of that"
D: "No, bot enough money available for that one." *browses email with IPad paid by school money*

Teacher: "I want to realize project xy with the students. We'll need around 1200€ (for 20 people)."
D: "Can place xy at our school to as advertise?"
T: "No, but it's be a valuable le-"
D: "600 at most."
(Again denied by people who aren't fcking assholes. We got 1500€, so 300€ per group)

D: So what makes you think you can teach informatics in this school"
Applicant: "Well, I'm friends with one of your teacher here. We went to university together, where I learn't nothing about informatics and I don't even understand the principles of this subject"
D: "Close enough. Hired, you can teach them all the theory stuffy. You don't have to prepare that yourself another teacher has done so. Just read it from his documents."

*In class with the mentioned teacher talking about Threads*
*Le wild code appears*
while (doStuff())
System.out.println ("Thread working...");
System.out.println ("Thread terminated");
T: "... and most importantly, when you have done all the work be sure to terminate the thread with 'System.out.println ("Thread terminated");'"

Should this teacher be allowed to participate in this seminar about burnouts?
D: "No, I can't afford paying the supplenze."

Staff: "We need to talk with the director about this."
S: "Not in her office. The cafeteria maybe"
*Not in the cafeteria either*
S: "Seems like she didn't come to achool today. Let's try tomorrow"
(^ Stuff that happens almost daily. Screw semicolons. I see her only once a month at most)

*Student send 5000 emails by accident* (Shit happens 😂😅😂😅)
D: "You gonna work here for a full afternoon"
*Student arrives for his punishment*
Staff: "Good that you're here. Do this real quick."
*10 min. Later*
Student: "Done"
Staff: "Well, we have no more work to give you, so you might as well leave"

DONE!!! Good job coming so far.

Our school is supposed to be the best, but internally it's one big meme.

This applies only to Headphone guys. Don't listen to songs that contain lyrics you understand. Something with foreign lyrics you can't predict is fine. This way you won't find your brain resonating with the song instead of your code.

I'm pretty sure most of you already knew this, but it's worth mentioning

* Go to sleep at reasonable times
* Watch some of those anime I never quite finished
* Read more books
* Become more proficient with rust
* Replace go with rust at work
* Setup a weeb media center I can remotely
* Finally make a personal webpage/blog without overthinking things, to actually get it done
* Find or make a storage solution for all the memes I sto- I mean collected, where I can add tags to find them more quickly. Would love to have them have the tagging be done automatically with machine learning, but I don't think we're quite there yet.

Went on an interview and the woman literally counted out loud each minute that went by as I tried to write some code.

How intellij handles syntax errors while reformating code vs eclipse:

Intellij: I'm not sure what you want to do there, so I'll just make slight adjustments.

Eclipse: Yeah, I don't understand this so fuck your whole file.

When you boss marks everything critical and you respond with "when everything's critical, nothing's critical." And he scowls.

Translation: Your Computer can have internet access without Wi-Fi, if your computer is a iPad Pro.

Video explains this cutting edge technology named "LTE".
Much innovative, very computer

When you are listening to music while coding and the music is on fire so you hit the same button on the keyboard several times to go with the beat 😂

Manager: Morning Alex, how are you?

My Brain: I'm fan-fucking-tastic, I've had 1 hour of sleep, hurt my back, feels like my tail bone is broken, struggling to walk, every piece of code I've written for the past 3 day's has been a complete waste of time and I'm at work...

Me actually: Good thanks .-.

TL;DR
I accidentally surpassed(?) my user permissions and closed some of my classmates browsers and locked up a terminal for me

In school we have 2 primary operating systems: Windows and Ubuntu. Windows is hell in general and but not as hell as the firefox installation on Ubuntu.

"Just loaded this page. Now wait half a minute so that I can render it"
"Woah, woah, woah. Slow there. You just made an input event. Give me those 5 seconds to compute what you just did"

Executing "top" or "htop" shows you a long list of firefox processes with a cpu usage of 99.9%, since the whole school shares that linux environment.

Anyway, one day it was way more servere than normally and I way forced to kill my firefox instances. So I pressed CTRL+ALT+T for that terminal, waited 5 minutes until it accepted input typed "killall firefox" with a delay of half a minute per character and smahed that enter key.

At this very point in time I could hear confusion from every corner of the room. "What happened to firefox?"

Around 30% of the opened browsers where abruptly stopped. I looked back to my screen noticed I was logged out. I couldn't login from that terminal for the rest of that day.

Our network admin, which happened to be there, since the server is just next door, said that this was just convenience, but the timing was too perfect so I heighly doubt that.

I felt like a real hackerman even if it was by accident :)

Show me your stickers

ALRIGHT! I'LL GIVE YOU SUPPORT ON MY VACATION TOO, IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVE FRIENDS AND FAMILY, NOPE, ALL I CARE ABOUT IS YOUR UNSTRUCTURED PHP CODE WHICH NEEDS TO BE REFACTORED BECAUSE 2 VISITORS ON YOUR WEBSITE SUGGESTED SO!

Almost 7am. My body is now used to going to sleep this late. I have to start waking up at that time soon.

This is what holidays do to me.

I just answered an old Question I asked on a forum and I don't know if I should be proud about my improvement or if I should feel dumb for accidentally answering my own question

So I had to buy a laptop

I had a Lenovo G50-70 (2014) it was really good, mid-range i5, 6GB of RAM and to speed it up I've installed an SSD. 3 years (and some formatting) later it started being slow, I couldn't even play Minecraft anymore (and the battery was dying)

This year we're learning and using PCs for the first (real) time, so I needed a good laptop.

I started searching everywhere, Google, shops, Amazon... (Excluding HP and Acers for good reasons 😂) so I've found this Asus, which isn't really famous, but the model is UX510UX.
FHD display, Nvidia 950M, i7-7500U, really good battery, 8GB of RAM, 1TB of hard disk

I bought an additional 128GB M.2 SSD from WD (I'm sorry but I can't live with a HDD 😂)

All of this for ~700€
I'm very happy for the purchase, the laptop is all metal (pinky bronze, but I like it)

It's really powerful, I can play GTA with mid-high details without any lag. (Remember, I play GTA on the desktop with a 1080 Ti so my standards are high)

I'm happy 😄!

Android Studio knows how to make text readable.

Please actually pay attention to compiler warnings. They exist for a reason beyond just being a nuisance. If you're willingly ignoring warnings then you're accepting unnecessary risk into your project.

👋DON'T👋MAKE👋CONSTANTS👋IF👋YOU👋ONLY👋USE👋THEM👋ONCE👋TO👋CREATE👋ANOTHER👋CONSTANT👋

While most people want the force to get stuff like a TV remote, I want to use it to get people thinking how they can solve their problems independently

How it feels when I leave a project...

There are still old youtube comments from my younger self to be found on youtube. Delete every evidence!

I forgot the password to my test account for my forum.

Time to implement a password reset feature

Friend: Do you have a cable you can spare, so that I can charge my phone?
Me: Unless you have a type-c (port), yes.
Friend: No, I have Samsung.
Me: 😂😂😂😂
Friend: 😅

I'm sorry for your eyes

Elon Musk getting charged for his 420 joke. People can't take jokes anymore smh

The default font for the Bulma CSS framework is triggering my OCD.

JUST WHY ARE THEY NOT ALIGNED FFS?!

I hate Laravel.

Every time I want to implement something it is already part of the laravel framework and does work better than I can ever imagine. Where is my struggle?!

"Time to listen to some music"
* Puts on headphones and searches my favorite death metal *
* No sound *
"Silly me, I muted it"
* Unmute *
* 108% death metal brainfucking me from both ears *

I think I lost 5 years worth of hearing this instant

'; SELECT * FROM rants; --

My custom rom (android) is so unstable, it even can't handle devrants double tap upvoting...

FFS GOOGLE, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT A PERSON WHO WANTS TO LEARN MASCHINE LEARNING, DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO CALCULATE THE DISTANCE BETWEEN 2 POINTS???

Dear person who extended my <T> to <Type> in the documentation:

Fuck you! Everybody knows what the T stands for! Don't mess with my stuff, don't go against my ethics and most of all, don't even dare to talk back on me unless you want me to return the favour and extand that assgole of yours with a cactus

@Linuxxx could eat my dust if I'd get a ++ for every time double tap has betrayed me.

Toughest about this function was (obviously) naming.

Suggestions are (highly) appreciated

All the people who care about my sleeping routine.

Thank you but also screw you

When you solve an issue that your seniors weren't able to.

I'm not an expert but if you site takes 5 seconds to navigate a step BACKWARDS, consider it inefficient af.

Getting appreciation for something you created.

The first things a person tells me when I come over to help them:
10%: I don't understand what to do
15%: Why is there an error? (mostly typos)
15%: I don't understand this error. (debugging required)
60%: Wtf, why is it working now?

I feel like my sole presence makes bugs disappear 😎

Programming while being sick was not a good idea.

That git reset --hard on the other hand was

I tried to compare Python and Julia by letting them calculate the first 200000000 prime numbers. The result is dumbfounding.
Python: 95.91282963752747 seconds
Julia: 3.847882271

Hell is not enough for people who create scripts that forcefully redirect you, while scrolling.

EAT A SPIKY CACTUS FOR EVERY DAMM TIME I HAD TO HIT THE BACK BUTTON BEVAUSE OF YOU

Started to clean up my projects and delete all my deprecated things and starting to shift focus to one - three projects at max...

Buying my first car (2005 VW golf 2L diesel)

Got a new job interview that they seem eager to meet me about...

Getting money under my belt and closer to buying a house....

Everythings coming up Alex :-D

(Knock on wood)

"OMG PLZ HELP NOBODY CAN CALL ME!!!¡¡ THIZ STUPID PHONE IS SO SHITTY"

Did you press anything?

"NOTHING I SWEAR!"

Yeah, I see that you are messing with the settings. Is that nothing to you?

I can understand that you accidentally navigate to the settings, but if you blame everything on your phone and lie to me, expect me to do the same.

Awesome! New server!
With a newer version of MySQL
With new bugs on my websites

Seriously, this new version destroyed all the queries

YAY, SDK UPDATE

Me: hmmmm it's a pain in the ass building my program and having to rebuild it everytime I want to swap to my Chromebook (going from x86 to ARM64), I really wish they could develop an OS that is essentially a VM so you would compile once and have the OS' VM later do the heavy lifting

My brain: hey Alex, that sounds like a great idea, you deserve a coffee for that!

Me: yes I do... Wait... Coffee... Cup of jo... Java.... WAIT! This sounds like what Java was intended to be!!!!!

My brain: oh dear god... Time to fucking bury this thought to never be discussed again!!!!!

What's the lesson to learn here? If it looks like Java, sounds like Java and acts like Java, beat it over the head and bury it 6 feet down :-3

Joining the dark side and becoming darker more darker from darker darker

See you later 😂😂

The face you make, when you download something and the countdown turns into a counter at 99%

Best way to tell people that JSwing is not suited to make games?

I can't comprehend the fact they draw a grid playfield using JLabels.

*Me trying to restore a backup*
Me: Where's the damm fokder?
My grandmother: It said there was some kind of mistake in this folder, so I deleted it
Me: *screams internally*

-Programming my mobile app
-Need to debug something
-App crashes instantly (only) when I try to use debugger.

Guess no more debugging. FML

Other dev: fuck you, your code can't handle null as input
Me: yeah, because it's kotlin. It's like I added @NotNull, so?...
Other dev: fuck kotlin
Me: fuck you and your nullpointers. Don't pass my precious constructor that crap!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

BECAUSE THAT FUCKER WANTED TO ATTACK ME!

Client: THIS IS CRITICAL, SOME DATA HAS BEEN DELETED, WHAT ZE FUUK HAPPENED, UNDO THIS FAST
Us: so after carefully reviewing the code, related resources and the network traffic we conclude that was never sent in the first place.
*closes issue*

I'm glad we got such a meaningful bug report on the same day a production system started failing, one big deployment that that was like a boss with 3 phases, an unnecessary long meeting and an app developer that that wanted me to break HTTP standards.

I think it's almost been a year Since I updated Android Studio.

Movie about Stuxnet Cyber weapon is out

The advanced malware used by CIA and MOSSAD to sabotage Iran's nuclear program

"Zero days" by Alex Gibney

Gk watch it guys..

WHICH FUCKER CAME UP WITH THE IDEA TO DISABLE CTRL+A IN THE GOD DAMN SEARCH BAR!!!

I FRICKING APPENDED MY SEARCH 3 TIMES BECAUSE OF YOU

"Update your amazon app in order to track your package"

Ok...
*updates app*
*tries again*

"Please choose one of the following to complete the action:"
* Chrome
* Chrome

(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻

People who can't read error messages properly and blame your library...

A couple of weeks ago I had an internship. I worked there with a classmate. We had a simple assignment, but since we're noobs when it comes to web applications (and because you don't learn that in school), we even had a hard time preparing.

Finally, I... I mean "we" decided to use React because it's close to the way we learned to solve problems in school. I asked him to implement a page with a date picker/calendar. I even searched for a repo that. 2 Days later he was still not able to implement it, he experimented with the code, but he
1. didn't even read the readme, just copied the tutorial expecting it to work
2. Didn't even look at the logic behind it.
3. Demanded to use this other repo with less functionality

10-30 minutes should have been more than enough. Instead, I wasted time telling him to read and code properly. He refused the second (and probably also the first), because "Why should I care? We'll be here for 3 weeks and then we're done with this"

Guess whom I'll avoid in any possible group project

"Full http monitor"

When you don't care about deadlines

Our class has a google docs document where we take notes for our technical subjects. I sneaked in a little note about git: "git push -f" is the recommended programm when pushing to origin for a smoothless workflow.

Let's see how many sheeps follow my instructions blindly😈

My boss did not care about making things secure in our early development stage, even though I told him several times.
After 1 day our elastic search cluster was filled with random crappy data.

Fix: Apply security schemes provided by AWS

Mom and Dad were proud, when I said I will develop Apps.They helped me to found my own company and arranged some new clients.

My brother is happy with it and is taking CS courses at school.
I've never met people who treated me as a nerd or did not accept my choice

I SPEND 15 MINUTES LOOKING FOR AN ERROR. WHY IS THIS A THING

Other people in 2019:
Realtime image classification!

Me in 2019:
22075ms to find all occurrences of a string of the screen

You mustn't pass null to this function that accepts nullable strings

n@2.1.8:
wanted {"os":"!win32","arch":"any"}
(current: {"os":"win32","arch":"x64"})

Fuck me and windows I guess....

Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure no java code should be able to jump from the if block to the else block, and then back to the if statement, ahen trying to initialize an object

Burn I hell whoever designed this font.
I just spend 20 minutes trying to figure out what special thing this for-loop does if it's just from 0 - 1

Ok here goes me trying to explain some logic here, I apologise in advance!

I've been using an axis based movement system for my games for a while now but always had the issue of characters moving faster diagonally because the movement shape would form a square; meaning things would move at twice the speed.

Only now thought 'hang on, direction's act as circles when given a radius..'

Suddenly everything works perfectly fine and all it took was 3 lines of code... Well done Alex you tool.

Apparently my morning coffee hasn't kicked in yet.

I searched for a song remix on YouTube (NewPipe). The first result was a "nightcore remix".
If I knew that adjusting 3 sliders is all it takes to "remix" a song, I would have thrown away all these useless documents about programming, become a dj and live of other people's work.

Let's not even talk about the fact that the song I search for is meant to be a slow one. Judging for the quality, scaled it was down to 32kbit

Explaining to someone that programming is not just nerding 😂

Why is Google so bad in creating good documentations for their API ?

I send exactly what they specify and on some values I just get a 400. thanks for nothing

♪ All around me are familiar faces
Worn out braces, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily standup
Going nowhere, going nowhere
The bugs are filling up their tracker
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow ♪

I wouldn't mind a "quick project review" on devRant, where you can post your website or some images of your project and get quick reviews (suggestions) of the UI/UX.

What's your opinion on this?

"I am the code of my program
HTML is my body and CSS my blood
I have created over a thousand websites
Unknown to Google,
Nor to hosters.
Have withstood sleep to create many websites
Yet those hands will never earn anything
So as I pray, limited budget works"

"Hey, our client proposed a new feature, can you take a look at it?"

Light themes are actually acceptable if turn luminosity all the way down

!rant ?

So I had 2 Stack Overflow questions open about Rails / Webpack data communication, plus one issue open on Webpacker's github for 3 days, desperatly looking for an answer or an idea. No answers.

Today I talked a bit with my flatmate about my problem, dude gives me a perfect, easy to implant solution, and life seems to be bright again. Thank you Alex 😥.

To be able to kill every unnecessary windows "service"

Swing components

I asked him: "What are the projects conventions?"
He replied: "Everyone codes as he likes to"

And I was like... It will be a nightmare😂😂

So my father asked me what I think about filemaker. I researched, while we were waiting for the food (restaurant) bs holy fuck, I've never gotten this bad vibes from a from something I believe to be a scripting language.

> proprietary (Apple)
> only articles I found about it were related to LinkedIn or at least written like they were
> not a single text based tutorial on the first pages of the search result, only videos (didn't watch them, because my mobile data is too scared for that)
> I can't find anything remotely explaining what this shit is about.
wikipedia was the most best resource I could find
> Free ebook about "how to train your junior developer" for filemaker requires me to enter way too much personal information.

To lazy to search for a new custom rom...

Gotta live with my laggy phone (Note 3)

I've got an Idea for an android app. First thing I implement?

The dark theme ofc

package main

import (
"log"
"strings"
)

type Present struct {
from string
to string
}

type Santa struct {
presents []Present
}

type Person struct {
Name string
Nice bool
Presents []Present
}

func (santa *Santa) givePresents(person Person) []Present {
result := []Present{}

if person.Nice != true {
return result
}

for _, present := range santa.presents {
if strings.Compare(present.to, person.Name) == 0 {
result = append(result, present)
}
}

return result
}

func main() {
santa := Santa{
[]Present{
{"devRant", "Alex"},
{"Johanna", "Alex"},
{"Alex", "devRant"},
{"Alex", "Johanna"},
},
}

persons := []Person{
{"Alex", true, []Present{}},
{"Johanna", true, []Present{}},
{"devRant", false, []Present{}},
}

for idx, person := range persons {
persons[idx].Presents = santa.givePresents(person)
}

log.Println(persons)
}

Just as expected, it's not working as expected

When you have extensive hardware and software experience and thus end up with two totally disjoint mediocre resumes

"I hate this in javascript, because I never know what it is referring to."

Read this joke here some months ago. Today i learned why it's so funny

Only 10 kinds...

"Worry is essentially a misuse of imagination." - Alex Osborn

FUCK EVERY PAGE THAT DOES NOT STRIP CLEAR TEXT INPUTS LIKE EMAIL AND USERNAME.

FFS WE LIVE IN A TIME WHERE YOU JUST HAVE TO APPEND ".strip()" TO ACHIEVE THAT

For whatever the fuck reason google decided you should not be able to select text when writing a review, at least it's the case right now. Therefore I had to make a guilty screenshot.

Peel remote is successfully nails it to be as annoying as a single application can get and I should consider blocking ads on my phone completely.

90% of my time at work is spent debugging and fixing a horrible mess of years-old legacy spaghetti. The only "real" coding I do is my personal hobby projects at home.

People sometimes scream to everyone else that tabs are better than spaces, but they don't realize that their IDE most of the times automatically converts tabs in 4 spaces.

Working till 3:30 am and getting up at 8 am for the next meeting feels so shitty!

Alex St John who created the DirectX tech for Microsoft shared some slides on how to recruit developers and keep them happy, this slide particularly stood out. How true is this?

Nice one, Alex

Finally, fucking finally I fixed a damn bug that seems to be freaking popular on asus machines. This damn bug captures the fn keys needed to regulate the screen brightness.

All tools that display your keypresses didn't find them at all and I had a pretty tough time find the source of problem.

You can create as many arch memes as you want but you cannot deny that the they are truly MVPs imo.

Today I also:
* Fixed and refactored a bit of code
* added shortcuts for volume and keyboard backlight control
* Installed lots of fonts
* Got Steam to run
* Found out the meaning behind the Arch linux
* Felt disgusting using windows 10. Learned that 10 stands for the number of minuts before I must vomit 🤢
* Learned a bunch of linux stuff

But most importantly
*installed sl

What a great day for hardware failure...

Are you planning on entering politics?

Because your documentation is dishonest, doesn't mention side effects and is not meant to be read humans workout a law degree.
Your code on the other hand makes me question whether you try to troll us or whether you are actually unable to understand what you were supposed to do.

Looking forward to receive my devRant Stickers

So I just found out the hard way, that you can't take screenshots, which is great if you want to enforce privacy, but not so great if you want to treasure some of the most awesome comments you find in this community.

Is there a possibility to add a feature like favorite comments?

!rant && story

tl;dr I lost my path, learned to a lot about linux and found true love.

So because of the recent news about wpa2, I thought about learning to do some things network penetration with kali. My roommate and I took an old 8gb usb and turned it into a bootable usb with persistent storage. Maybe not the best choice, but atleast we know how to do that now.

Anyway, we started with a kali.iso from 2015, because we thought it would be faster than downloading it with a 150kpbs connection. Learned a lot from that mistake while waiting apt-get update/upgrade.

Next day I got access to some faster connection, downloaded a new release build and put the 2015 version out it's misery. Finally some signs of progress. But that was not enough. We wanted more. We (well atleast I) wanted to try i3, because one of my friends showed me to /r/unixporn (btw, pornhub is deprecated now). So after researching what i3 is, what a wm is AND what a dm is, we replaced gdm3 with lightdm and set i3 as standard wm. With the user guide on an other screen we started playing with i3. Apparently heaven is written with two characters only. Now I want to free myself from windows and have linux (Maybe arch) as my main system, but for now we continue to use thus kali usb to learn about how to set uo a nice desktop environment. Wait, why did we choose to install kali? 😂

I feel kinda sorry for that, but I want to experiment on there before until I feel confident. (Please hit me up with tips about i3)

Still gotta use Windows as a subsystem for gaming. 😥

Favorite coding music?

"No grandma, my ps3 is not a hacker. Please stop unpluging it from the router..."

Thanks Kaspersky

If you have some troubles with some errors/bugs:
Never underestimate the power that a short break from coding can give you

A bug that isn't reproducable in debug mode has encountered my way

I'm still pretty new to elixir and functional programming. There have been numerous cases where I accidentally recreated functions such as Enumerable.map 😅

"Coworked" whom I asked to fo a proper job responded "Nah, not motivated"

One of the admins in our school is developing a digital class register. He already set up all the users but randomized the passwords to lock all students out. But he also implemented a password reset.

He was kinda pissed when he found out (the very next day) though. Now he locked us out again.
At least I can leave the school next year knowing that they'll get a sick new application

I just encountered a website whos ad block game is on-point. Your typical Ad overlay, that can be removed with developer options PLUS disabling scrolling.

Too bad, they disabled it only horizontally and forgot about diagonal scrolling

Headphones, because working while your partner burn and scream in the hell of the bugs they caused is distracting

When you just click ok while renaming a variable in android studio and realise, that it changed some words of your AndroidManifest.xml

Me: Ok it looks like Gamemaker will never come to linux and I can't get it running under wine... Suppose it wont hurt to learn monogame while I have Linux, Mac and windows to hand...

*Googles tutorials*

Me: Oh god there is fuck all, it just points to XNA stuff... Oh look a tutorial for monogame itself!

*Notices its an official Microsoft tutorial*

Me: Swallow your pride Alex... Go to the dark side and use a Microsoft product willingly...

... I feel dirty... As if i should have a bleach bath...

That one classmate I had to do an internship with. The project has pretty simple, but we were both young to front end. I decided, that we use react, because it seemed like a fairly easy front end framework, with concepts a Java (not javascript) developer could wrap his head around.

Boi, I was wrong.

He was practically unable to implement a calendar, or rather get the sample code to work... For several days...

Needless to say that the project wasn't finished by the time we left and I feel kinda guilty for it.
Guilty that I couldn't find an other internship in time and was forced to pick this one with my classmate

caffeine!

My father has an old powermac (G5 I believe) and wants a modern lightweight OS since apple dropped support a while ago. I proposed Linux and my father seemed intrigued to try it out. Tomorrow I get the machine and get to set it up.

I was thinking of Elementary OS, since he is an Apple fanboy. What do you think about that decision?

Never used or installed it before, but how hard can it be?
*obligatorily mentioning that I use Arch Linux*

The content of this file is called code or algorithm or instructions or coderithm or algode or instrude or algostruction

Some irony

When anime gives you rant material

The first annoying request by people, who have no idea what programming is all about

Alright windows, why is Chrome receiving fractures of my bandwith, but edge can get it all? I swear, I can stream FHD on edge, but not use soundcloud on chrome. This smells fishy to me

Best Internet usage

C'mon, I'm making all the logic and only ask you to make the site look better than my plain html structure. Please do your thing, because the lonely "Slightly improved layout" commit is not helping very much

I found a verilog tutorial

Fighting against a occasionally occurring bug, in a networking, multithreading, server-client game.
Thanks to the good excellent front end each client only uses around 20% of my cpu and ~1.3Gb of ram.

Shit happens when you join the development late and your partners code happens on-the-fly.

Maybe redoing it from scratch with something else than JSwing could improve the performanxe slightly

I don't care about warnings. My 1000 lines of code when I try to database

Anybody else accidentally writing IP-adresses insteand of dates?

Posted: 21.1.20.17

Visual studio code

I usually use IDEs and am in love with everything made by Jetbrains. I am also to lazy to setup dual boot on my pc, so I live with windows 10. After one of the recent downgrades Microsoft distribute, they shipped this lightweight text editor called visual studio code with it.

It lied to me, that it's a good editor for coding C. It even tells me that I can compile and execute the code from inside the editor, similar to vim. I went to the settings and found a dark theme, for the best best feature this "editor"has to offer.

I give it a try by opening a source file with a normal double click. Editor gets focused, but the code is nowhere to be seen. Retrying conforms my, that this piece of shit is literally not able to open files UNLESS you drag and drop them into the editor. HOW FUCKING USELESS IS THAT?

Next I want to compile the program. Guess what, that functionality was not given or at least I could not find it (same goes with the manual)

Even with dark theme it burns my eyes to use this editor. There are almost no useful shortcuts. The functionality is not even comparable to vim. I always thought eclipse was bad, until this shit was installed.

It might work well for other people. Maybe it has functions, that just don't work on my pc, but from what I've seen: visual studio in general and especially that editor feels like Microsoft trying to replace the toolet paper with sandpaper.

Fucking Google firebase database has no equivalent of 'SELECT * FROM shitheads LIMIT 10, 10'.
Better download those first 20 elements!

Descending order? haha. Fuck you.
Add your own custom index for that shit!

I take an excessively long, hot shower the day before.

>but don't you already do that on a almost daily basis?

Yes

If I were to write a de/encoding algorithm, that nobody but me knows about, would it be safe?

So Alex, how excited are you for Google's hardware showcase today?

Well myself, I am waking up at 3 AM (Because got to love living in Australia wanting to watch over seas live streams!) to watch it, then I am going to work at 7 in the morning, I think that should answer your question!

Book a ticket people because the hype train is about to leave the station!

When you can't do your job properly because management refuses to fork out for the expensive tools you need and gives you cheap/shitty tools instead

"Elegance is not the abundance of simplicity. It is the absence of complexity." - Alex White