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Search - "amusing"
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Personlly, Seeing repo commit history in Gource is really mesmerizing and amusing yet scary. especially your own.11
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Found this gem on GitHub:
// At this point, I'd like to take a moment to speak to you about the Adobe PSD format.
// PSD is not a good format. PSD is not even a bad format. Calling it such would be an
// insult to other bad formats, such as PCX or JPEG. No, PSD is an abysmal format. Having
// worked on this code for several weeks now, my hate for PSD has grown to a raging fire
// that burns with the fierce passion of a million suns.
// If there are two different ways of doing something, PSD will do both, in different
// places. It will then make up three more ways no sane human would think of, and do those
// too. PSD makes inconsistency an art form. Why, for instance, did it suddenly decide
// that *these* particular chunks should be aligned to four bytes, and that this alignement
// should *not* be included in the size? Other chunks in other places are either unaligned,
// or aligned with the alignment included in the size. Here, though, it is not included.
// Either one of these three behaviours would be fine. A sane format would pick one. PSD,
// of course, uses all three, and more.
// Trying to get data out of a PSD file is like trying to find something in the attic of
// your eccentric old uncle who died in a freak freshwater shark attack on his 58th
// birthday. That last detail may not be important for the purposes of the simile, but
// at this point I am spending a lot of time imagining amusing fates for the people
// responsible for this Rube Goldberg of a file format.
// Earlier, I tried to get a hold of the latest specs for the PSD file format. To do this,
// I had to apply to them for permission to apply to them to have them consider sending
// me this sacred tome. This would have involved faxing them a copy of some document or
// other, probably signed in blood. I can only imagine that they make this process so
// difficult because they are intensely ashamed of having created this abomination. I
// was naturally not gullible enough to go through with this procedure, but if I had done
// so, I would have printed out every single page of the spec, and set them all on fire.
// Were it within my power, I would gather every single copy of those specs, and launch
// them on a spaceship directly into the sun.
//
// PSD is not my favourite file format.
Ref : https://github.com/zepouet/...16 -
Perhaps not "best", but certainly most amusing, so what the heck!
Years ago as an intern, I applied to a large pharmaceutical company. On part of the application form, you had to enter the code of the department you were applying to.
What I *should have* put down was "IT", which is the department that houses all their devs. However, I didn't actually read any of what the codes meant, assumed that was the department for helping people with how to mail merge, and put down "COMPSCI" instead. This was computational sciences - loosely summarised as computational data analysis on various druggable molecules.
I do *not* have any sort of biology or chemistry background, so the interview was rather... interesting, and I muddled through on the basis of getting some more interview practice assuming it was a no go.
To my amazement, got a phone call saying that they'd been thinking they wanted someone more technical on the team, and despite my lack of scientific experience they thought I'd be a good fit. I was unsure as to whether I should accept for a while, but then decided to just go for it - and had a fantastic internship there, working on a great variety of stuff, and learning tons all under a supervisor who I'm still in touch with to this day.
tl;dr - Applied for the wrong job. Coincidentally got it anyway, and miraculously had a fantastic year working there.8 -
Fun fact: If you type "jquery is shit" into DuckDuckGo, the third result is devRant.
More than that: Whenever something about programming is combined with "shit", "fuck" etc., it's very likely that you will eventually end up at devRant.
That's amusing.8 -
Found a Google employee in street view getting lost and using paper map .. There are also seem to be 2 guides with him...
I find it kinda amusing8 -
Have you ever noticed something?
Those people who are somewhat into PC gaming and then have a day job behind the desk pushing buttons...
...More often than not have their hand resting position on WASD / left shift / space ?
Every time I notice this on myself or anyone else - kinda find it amusing 😄8 -
This codebase reminds me of a large, rotting, barely-alive dromedary. Parts of it function quite well, but large swaths of it are necrotic, foul-smelling, and even rotted away. Were it healthy, it would still exude a terrible stench, and its temperament would easily match: If you managed to get near enough, it would spit and try to bite you.
Swaths of code are commented out -- entire classes simply don't exist anymore, and the ghosts of several-year-old methods still linger. Despite this, large and deprecated (yet uncommented) sections of the application depend on those undefined classes/methods. Navigating the codebase is akin to walking through a minefield: if you reference the wrong method on the wrong object... fatal exception. And being very new to this project, I have no idea what's live and what isn't.
The naming scheme doesn't help, either: it's impossible to know what's still functional without asking because nothing's marked. Instead, I've been working backwards from multiple points to try to find code paths between objects/events. I'm rarely successful.
Not only can I not tell what's live code and what's interactive death, the code itself is messy and awful. Don't get me wrong: it's solid. There's virtually no way to break it. But trying to understand it ... I feel like I'm looking at a huge, sprawling MC Escher landscape through a microscope. (No exaggeration: a magnifying glass would show a larger view that included paradoxes / dubious structures, and these are not readily apparent to me.)
It's also rife with bad practices. Terrible naming choices consisting of arbitrarily-placed acronyms, bad word choices, and simply inconsistent naming (hash vs hsh vs hs vs h). The indentation is a mix of spaces and tabs. There's magic numbers galore, and variable re-use -- not just local scope, but public methods on objects as well. I've also seen countless assignments within conditionals, and these are apparently intentional! The reasoning: to ensure the code only runs with non-falsey values. While that would indeed work, an early return/next is much clearer, and reduces indentation. It's just. reading through this makes me cringe or literally throw my hands up in frustration and exasperation.
Honestly though, I know why the code is so terrible, and I understand:
The architect/sole dev was new to coding -- I have 5-7 times his current experience -- and the project scope expanded significantly and extremely quickly, and also broke all of its foundation rules. Non-developers also dictated architecture, creating further mess. It's the stuff of nightmares. Looking at what he was able to accomplish, though, I'm impressed. Horrified at the details, but impressed with the whole.
This project is the epitome of "I wrote it quickly and just made it work."
Fortunately, he and I both agree that a rewrite is in order. but at 76k lines (without styling or configuration), it's quite the undertaking.
------
Amusing: after running the codebase through `wc`, it apparently sums to half the word count of "War and Peace"15 -
Long story short, I'm unofficially the hacker at our office... Story time!
So I was hired three months ago to work for my current company, and after the three weeks of training I got assigned a project with an architect (who only works on the project very occasionally). I was tasked with revamping and implementing new features for an existing API, some of the code dated back to 2013. (important, keep this in mind)
So at one point I was testing the existing endpoints, because part of the project was automating tests using postman, and I saw something sketchy. So very sketchy. The method I was looking at took a POJO as an argument, extracted the ID of the user from it, looked the user up, and then updated the info of the looked up user with the POJO. So I tried sending a JSON with the info of my user, but the ID of another user. And voila, I overwrote his data.
Once I reported this (which took a while to be taken seriously because I was so new) I found out that this might be useful for sysadmins to have, so it wasn't completely horrible. However, the endpoint required no Auth to use. An anonymous curl request could overwrite any users data.
As this mess unfolded and we notified the higher ups, another architect jumped in to fix the mess and we found that you could also fetch the data of any user by knowing his ID, and overwrite his credit/debit cards. And well, the ID of the users were alphanumerical strings, which I thought would make it harder to abuse, but then realized all the IDs were sequentially generated... Again, these endpoints required no authentication.
So anyways. Panic ensued, systems people at HQ had to work that weekend, two hot fixes had to be delivered, and now they think I'm a hacker... I did go on to discover some other vulnerabilities, but nothing major.
It still amsues me they think I'm a hacker 😂😂 when I know about as much about hacking as the next guy at the office, but anyways, makes for a good story and I laugh every time I hear them call me a hacker. The whole thing was pretty amusing, they supposedly have security audits and QA, but for five years, these massive security holes went undetected... And our client is a massive company in my country... So, let's hope no one found it before I did.6 -
I played a lot of Command & Conquer when I was younger, and I remember going through the files for C&C: Red Alert. I found one that had all the units names and properties, and wondered what happened if I changed a value. So I changed grenadiers attack speed to something ridiculously fast, and found that it actually changed it in the game!
The light bulb went off in my head, and I then created new units:
- Albert Einstein that shot electricity
- Attack dogs that launched missiles
Granted the animations didn't exist for these so it defaulted to playing their death animations when attacking, which was amusing.
That was the ah-ha moment for me that lead me to pursue programming. It was just so much fun!4 -
"ThE FIrsT ThiNg a Pr0GraMmer saYs whEn hE iZ b0Rn iZ HELlo w0Rld"
Damn, that is
So
Fucking
Funny
I wonder. Do the people that find this shit amusing are just discovering what programming is? Shit is so fucking cringey man.20 -
Privacy.
I have an Amazon Echo.
I've enabled Hey, Siri.
I've given Google the OK.
I don't tape my web cam.
And I find it highly amusing that someone has potentially seen my fat, hairy ass strut naked about my home office while singing "What's up" at the top of my lungs. Perhaps multiple times.
Should I feel bad? That I may have cost the American taxpayer money in the therapy required to rehabilitate those FBI or NSA agents that have witnessed me in my full glory?13 -
The solution for this one isn't nearly as amusing as the journey.
I was working for one of the largest retailers in NA as an architect. Said retailer had over a thousand big box stores, IT maintenance budget of $200M/year. The kind of place that just reeks of waste and mismanagement at every level.
They had installed a system to distribute training and instructional videos to every store, as well as recorded daily broadcasts to all store employees as a way of reducing management time spend with employees in the morning. This system had cost a cool 400M USD, not including labor and upgrades for round 1. Round 2 was another 100M to add a storage buffer to each store because they'd failed to account for the fact that their internet connections at the store and the outbound pipe from the DC wasn't capable of running the public facing e-commerce and streaming all the video data to every store in realtime. Typical massive enterprise clusterfuck.
Then security gets involved. Each device at stores had a different address on a private megawan. The stores didn't generally phone home, home phoned them as an access control measure; stores calling the DC was verboten. This presented an obvious problem for the video system because it needed to pull updates.
The brilliant Infosys resources had a bright idea to solve this problem:
- Treat each device IP as an access key for that device (avg 15 per store per store).
- Verify the request ip, then issue a redirect with ANOTHER ip unique to that device that the firewall would ingress only to the video subnet
- Do it all with the F5
A few months later, the networking team comes back and announces that after months of work and 10s of people years they can't implement the solution because iRules have a size limit and they would need more than 60,000 lines or 15,000 rules to implement it. Sad trombones all around.
Then, a wild DBA appears, steps up to the plate and says he can solve the problem with the power of ORACLE! Few months later he comes back with some absolutely batshit solution that stored the individual octets of an IPV4, multiple nested queries to the same table to emulate subnet masking through some temp table spanning voodoo. Time to complete: 2-4 minutes per request. He too eventually gives up the fight, sort of, in that backhanded way DBAs tend to do everything. I wish I would have paid more attention to that abortion because the rationale and its mechanics were just staggeringly rube goldberg and should have been documented for posterity.
So I catch wind of this sitting in a CAB meeting. I hear them talking about how there's "no way to solve this problem, it's too complex, we're going to need a lot more databases to handle this." I tune in and gather all it really needs to do, since the ingress firewall is handling the origin IP checks, is convert the request IP to video ingress IP, 302 and call it a day.
While they're all grandstanding and pontificating, I fire up visual studio and:
- write a method that encodes the incoming request IP into a single uint32
- write an http module that keeps an in-memory dictionary of uint32,string for the request, response, converts the request ip and 302s the call with blackhole support
- convert all the mappings in the spreadsheet attached to the meetings into a csv, dump to disk
- write a wpf application to allow for easily managing the IP database in the short term
- deploy the solution one of our stage boxes
- add a TODO to eventually move this to a database
All this took about 5 minutes. I interrupt their conversation to ask them to retarget their test to the port I exposed on the stage box. Then watch them stare in stunned silence as the crow grows cold.
According to a friend who still works there, that code is still running in production on a single node to this day. And still running on the same static file database.
#TheValueOfEngineers2 -
I find it amusing that if you tell an SMTP server "quit", it responds "Bye" before closing the connection...
It's the little things in dev life...1 -
I’m sure many of you are well aware of this, but I just ran across this today and found it amusing. Apparently, Chrome uses the term “zygote” to identify child processes. 😁2
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In my unenlightened youth, when programming was a module in my college diploma that didn't seem to be taking me where I wanted to go, I had a couple of guys guy in my class that could arguably be the weird ones.
Jonny, although he asserted that he was to be called "Jonhty", whatever, we never did. He was pretty much top of the high school food chain and for some reason elected to study computer science, none of us was prepared to put up with his shit. He was always boasting about some fanciful claim or another, famously entering the classroom and exclaiming he'd "fucked an absolute milf" and seemed somewhat evasive about the answer, turns out he was 17 and she was 35, the age difference was greater than his own age. We burst out laughing. He would also turn up late and state the college bus was late (it wasn't I got the free bus every day, he'd just not got out his wanking chariot early enough).
One valentine's day we got him a card from a mysterious stranger which was accompanied by a package containing a cucumber and Vaseline, the inside of the card read "to assist you in the following request: please go fuck yourself".
Before you think we were being unduly harsh, we had a centre table where we'd be taught from with computers around the outer rim of the room. He'd come up behind people while at the centre desk, quietly press ctrl+P and slowly walk back to the printer. I saw him do it to my machine and I got to the printer first, to which he shouted "that's MY work" which was amusing because unbeknownst to him I had put headers on all my documents so he really didn't have an answer for why my name was at the top of every page.
To top it all off he had dead eyes, there didn't appear to be much going on but the rent, there was no spark of intelligent life, and while I thought it, I never said it out loud, but other students did and I had to agree. He was just copying his way to graduation. However, he ultimately didn't graduate when people refused to allow him to copy.
Another guy, Richard I believe his name was, which is just as well because he was a right dick. In the UK our word for white trash is "chav" (that's a very naïve explanation for it but that's another rant best left for "socialsciencerant") and he was an complete idiot who was gifted with more brain cells than he ever needed to use. He actually studied hard and got reasonable grades, probably on par with me, but he boasted about smoking weed all the time, he was forever playing dark side of the moon via his loud mp3 player. I kinda left him alone generally until he was high in class one time and while we we're watching a documentary he'd shake my chair and make a weird noise in my ear every few minutes, the first couple of times startled me, the remaining multi-dozen times pissed me off.
It all came to a head with this guy when I'd been hearing about his uninteresting bs on drugs, music and how best to spend my time ("you need to lighten up man, come round my house, take a joint and relax man", that sorta thing), well this guy walked like he was mid way through shitting himself so I personally think that perhaps he is too chilled. Anyway he's arguing with me and after the exchange of him making his point, me disagreeing and expecting the end of it, he made the mistake of saying two words to me:
"Listen, mate..."
And I had him in check mate.
"Listen, I ain't your fucking mate , I don't even like you, you're a disruptive annoying twat that thinks he knows it all, we're all 17, none of us know anything, so shut the fuck up, sit the fuck down and stop boring me with your drugs, I ain't interested, and for the record I think pink Floyd ruined prog rock!"
He looked at me with sad puppy dog eyes, and started with the "but, why?", However I was interrupted and had to leave the class for unrelated reasons, I returned to be told he'd put safety pins up right on my chair so I'd sit on them, and mutual friends who TD me I'd been cruel and that he doesn't was hurt, so I should apologize, he overheard and said he was sorry for bring a bit of a dick.
However, you just know when you don't get on with someone? Yeah, that. So I said I wasn't sorry for what I said, for while it was harsh, I am not his mate, nor did I want to be his mate and that was all I had to say on the subject, and that if he wants to take offensive to a nobody not liking him then he's in for a very rough time in life.
Unsurprisingly I don't keep in touch with anyone from college!2 -
I find it amusing to scroll through lists of available freelancer jobs and see who has the most illegal and/or absurd request3
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I've been thinking about how to answer this for a while, but I'll approach it from a different angle. The time I (nearly) lost faith in my dev future wasn't because of a technology, bad programming language or an external influence. It was *me*.
The first job I had after the PhD, I was (in the first couple of weeks) tasked with updating various packages on a live Redhat server. "No problem", I thought, "I've done this before many a time on Debian, easy as pie!"
Long story short, I ended up practically bricking the server because I mistyped and uninstalled something I shouldn't have, didn't understand a piece of configuration, then tried to bodge it back and cocked things up further. Couldn't even log in via SSH, the hosting company had to be called, a serial connection set up, etc.
To say I was mortified, embarrassed and had my pride dented would be a massive understatement. I seriously thought I'd get fired on the spot, and that I should perhaps change careers to something where I couldn't cock things up as much.
...but you can't think like that, otherwise the world leaves you behind. So I picked myself up, apologised profusely, took some relevant training, double checked everything I was doing on that server in future and got back to work. After a few months of "proving myself", it was then seen as nothing more than a rather amusing story, and I became a senior dev there a couple of years later.1 -
I find many of the peculiarities about our kind (developer) to be amusing.
Here is one I have seen too many times to count...
You ask a group of developer something like...
“We have a project built using X, Y and Z. We are looking at integrating the “example framework” to solve a specific problem. Do you have any experience with “example framework” or would you suggest another framework?”
Inevitably you get the same useless response of “Why are you using X, Y, and Z. It’s so <insert generic complaint here>!” Followed with no actual attempt to answer the question asked...
Listen, I know some of us a socially awkward (I can be) and I know we like to debate and argue.
But, if someone asks you a specific technical question about an existing product, either...
1. Answer the question with your experience
2. Declare that you do not have experience with it
3. Shut your fucking childish mouth
No one cares about how you feel about the size of the underlying technology in existing products! What do you expect?
“OMG, we didn’t realize X technology as 100mb large! Hold on while we go and reengineer our entire product base because of this fucking revelation you just told us!”
You may want to hear your own voice but the rest of us would prefer it if you would shut your mouth if you have nothing useful to add.
(Reads as: we would prefer is you fucked right off!)3 -
For the Project Management exam, my university requires us to install a program on our PERSONAL laptops that is meant to take over the control over the entire system during the exam, monitor any “suspicious activities”. The software is closed-source (it’s called Schoolyear Exams), does god-knows-what in the background, takes the control over the entire system and can be summoned through any Chromium web browser.
Don’t get me wrong, I get that you want to make sure nobody is cheating - but at this point, I’d rather write it with pen and paper. Or just provide us with computers for the time of exam.
I decided to whip out my old laptop instead, installed a Windows 10 on a separate SSD, and installed that software on it.
Also it’s very amusing that this software is also mandatory for the Linux exam… But the program can’t run on Linux (it’s Windows and Mac only and doesn’t even support M1 chips).
EDIT: typos12 -
So I saw this argument between two intellectual titans on Quora about C vs C++. It was pretty amusing lol.
First Guy: “C programmers are the Amish! They’re afraid of change. C++ is a better C because it repairs it insufficiencies like classes and namespaces.”
Second guy: “C is fairly consistent, while C++ is inconsistent in many places. It performs so many allocations without you even knowing it. It’s complexity is very distracting !”10 -
Not mine but I always find this one very amusing: the story a mail server that refuses to deliver mail past 500 physical miles.
https://ibiblio.org/harris/...1 -
My colleague can be so fucking annoying I’m close to snapping. It’s morning, I just got it, didn’t have any coffee yet and he asks me “what did you do while I was gone?” (He was away sick a few days). So I start explaining to him the code changes we did and he takes it as an opportunity to interrupt me and ask more questions during my explanation. Mostly because he thinks it’s amusing. I continue explaining not giving in to his shit and he continues interrupting me and tries to make other team members laugh at his stupid face. No one does. I finally tell him to shut up and listen and he does.
It’s like having a kid run around, focusing on every sound other than what is important and trying to be funny when all that’s happening is everyone thinking he’s and asshole that should shut the fuck up. ARGH!!! So annoying.6 -
At home I don't need to lock my computer. I just put the cursor into a vim shell. It's amusing what my kid leaves for me there.5
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Sololearn has probably the dumbest community I've ever seen...
I know that there are lot of beginners who just started learning programming, but if you can't even use the app, I don't think they will be able to learn programming.
Also all these little kiddies who want to get some badass hackers but don't even know how to do a fucking course (There are lots of questions like "Where can I learn HTML" while they are right in the fucking app, like holy sheeet).
Sometimes I browse the Q&A just because there so funny and dumb questions. Really amusing!8 -
So, there was this guy where i worked, who was doing some freelancing.
He asked me to do some front-end stuff for him and i said ok.
After some gigs, my boss found out about him working as a freelancer and got really pissed, because, according to him, it was forbidden by company policies (though i never saw it on contract).
After that, the boss started talking to me about shit that the guy did on the past, like stealing, liying about been sick for months, bad mouth the entire company to others companys, etc. Some really bad shit.
End of the story, the company fired that guy, threatened to do the same to me, made me go on record about that shit in court, and that fucking motherfucker didnt even payd me for my last work.
I hope he rot in hell, fucking piece of shit.
Sorry for the long text, but (today) i find it as amusing story. -
Storytime!
(I just posted this in a shorter form as a comment but wanted to write it as a post too)
TL;DR, smarts are important, but so is how you work.
My first 'real' job was a lucky break in the .com era working tech support. This was pretty high end / professional / well respected and really well paid work.
I've never been a super fast learner, I was HORRIBLE in school. I was not a good student until I was ~40 (and then I loved it, but no longer have the time :( )
At work I really felt like so many folks around me did a better job / knew more than me. And straight up I know that was true. I was competent, but I was not the best by far.
However .... when things got ugly, I got assigned to the big cases. Particularly when I transferred to a group that dealt with some fancy smancy networking equipment.
The reason I was assigned? Engineering (another department) asked I be assigned. Even when it would take me a while to pickup the case and catch up on what was going on, they wanted the super smart tech support guys off the case, and me on it.
At first this was a bit perplexing as this engineering team were some ultra smart guys, custom chip designers, great education, and guys you could almost see were running a mental simulation of the chip as you described what you observed on the network...
What was also amusing was how ego-less these guys seemed to be (I don't pretend to know if they really were). I knew for a fact that recruiting teams tried to recruit some of these guys for years from other companies before they'd jump ship from one company to the next ... and yet when I met them in person it was like some random meeting on the street (there's a whole other story there that I wish I understood more about Indian Americans (many of them) and American engineers treat status / behave).
I eventually figured out that the reason I was assigned / requested was simple:
1. Support management couldn't refuse, in fact several valley managers very much didn't like me / did not want to give me those cases .... but nobody could refuse the almighty ASIC engineers. No joke, ASIC engineers requests were all but handed down on stone tablets and smote any idols you might have.
2. The engineers trusted me. It was that simple.
They liked to read my notes before going into a meeting / high pressure conference call. I could tell from talking to them on the phone (I was remote) if their mental model was seizing up, or if they just wanted more data, and we could have quick and effective conversations before meetings ;)
I always qualified my answers. If I didn't know I said so (this was HUGE) and I would go find out. In fact my notes often included a list of unknowns (I knew they'd ask), and a list of questions I had sent to / pending for the customer.
The super smart tech support guys, they had egos, didn't want to say they didn't know, and they'd send eng down the rabbit hole. Truth be told most of what the smarter than me tech support guy's knew was memorization. I don't want to sound like I'm knocking that because for the most part memorization would quickly solve a good chunk of tech support calls for sure... no question those guys solved problems. I wish I was able to memorize like those guys.
But memorization did NOT help anyone solve off the wall bugs, sort of emergent behavior, recognize patterns (network traffic and bugs all have patterns / smells). Memorization also wouldn't lead you to the right path to finding ANYTHING new / new methods to find things that you don't anticipate.
In fact relying on memorization like some support folks did meant that they often assumed that if bit 1 was on... they couldn't imagine what would happen if that didn't work, even if they saw a problem where ... bro obviously bit 1 is on but that thing ain't happening, that means A, B, C.
Being careful, asking questions, making lists of what you know / don't know, iterating LOGICALLY (for the love of god change one thing at a time). That's how you solved big problems I found.
Sometimes your skills aren't super smarts, super flashy code, sometimes, knowing every method off the top of your head, sometimes you can excel just being more careful, thinking different.4 -
It's amusing how every time something doesn't work with Linux somebody spent a bunch of time customising their OS into oblivion (because well, the whole point of using Linux is the ability to have it your way, d'oh), and it's never their fault for changing everything or using some distro with 0.05% market share, it's the company's fault not providing bulletproof support for their exact setup and not testing everything they put out on every combination of kernel & system software.6
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I'm in a situation here, I had an idea for an app and I started coding it. Since I'm a front end developer I find it not amusing to do the backend part. I then started to share the idea and such with good classmate (not a coder). I then made him join me on this adventure. After a lot of coding he said he wanted to contribute with something since I'm coding all day and he's not. Then we agreed freelancing the back end part.
Some time later we got a pretty good deal on some Indians doing the whole app. I thought to myself "this feels kinda good!" so we went on with the freelancer.
Days went to months and we finally got the app back. I did a mistake of paying him all the milestones without testing the app in its wholeness, later finding out that one part of the login system didn't work. That lead to a deeper debug to find out that the core function of the app was commented out.. I then wrote the freelancer back with minimal and slow response.
Now the deadline of the app is like in 2 months. If not we miss a whole year.
My classmate knows about this and he's the one who played for the freelancing. Now we have talked about me doing the whole backend myself.
The only issue I have now is that I feel like he's just sitting home doing nothing other than flashing money around and me busting my ass of writing code that I really am not good at. (basically learning more than coding)
But he played a lot of money for this.. So I feel kinda bad for him.
Rip life.15 -
I've been skimming this slightly outdated "Learning Android" O'Reilly text and I found the error log levels to be colorful enough to be amusing...4
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!rant
It's amusing seeing something new on r/ProgrammerHumor and a few hours later seeing the same thing posted to devRant. Almost like there's a bot with a 2 hour delay posting to devRant.1 -
Once upon a time i had a great idea.
Because i couldnt be bothered to do anything productive i created a simple app in the C# that would look into every .js file (from a game that uses it for the gui/main menu) and search for "//todo" lines.
I did it mostly for kicks. I got that idea when i encountered one //todo in a file when i was trying to mod that game.
Yes i know grep exists: fuck you.
It would have taken me more time to learn that than to write that 20 line program...
The result? Over 30 lines of //todo with some briliant pearls in the type of:
>Temp workaround because X
>Workaround for race condition
>Clean that up
>Obsolete
When i return home i will post real quotes. They might be amusing to read...
The game is based on a custom C++ engine. HTML, CSS and JS is used for main menu and some graphical interface in game.
The most amusing thing is that this inefficient sack of chicken shit is powering one of the biggest (no playerbase but unit, world, gameplay vise) rts that i have ever played.
But still in spite of a dead community, buggy gui as shit and other problems i love this game and a lot of other people love it too. It is a great game when it works correctly.
To the interested: JS portion uses jquerry and knockout lib.14 -
Follow up to my previous rant:
I find a random bush more amusing and interesting than whatever's happening around me. -
!rant
We've got a small army of foreign contractors working with us both in the office and overseas. Syntax has become the thing that stands out to me the most. We can all speak the same language, but our partners don't quite have the syntax down, resulting in some rather amusing email exchanges. I can't fault them, if the shoe was on the other foot, I guarantee I'd be butchering any other language's conversational syntax. Overall, the experience has been a bit of an eye opener for me. -
I got a new job recently(that's an older rant's story) and I find amusing that I'm still getting reject notices from job offers which I applied to... 2 months ago 😂
That one from 2 months ago is quite funny cuz I didn't have any other interview with the company, just like the first interview with a HR lady, so after one week I gave up with that company and moved on. So I received the rejection notice today and my first thought was "how considerate!"5 -
When you find it amusing that your boss thinks you can copy and paste SEO from one website to another, you know you've given up.
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Do you know how MySQL got it's name? Well, it's a really interesting thing one should know. Atleast, I find it really amusing.
~Michael "Monty" Widenius is one of the founder of MySQL and one of his daughter's name is My(after whom MySQL was named).~7 -
!dev
I hate being a dick as much as the next guy, but damnit I hate spam even more!
And I can't think of a worse kind of spam than religious propaganda sent by your own family members when they already know you ain't religious, heck they even tried to kick me out of the house when I lived with them.
"...send this to 8 more people you wish a day full of blessings"
"YouTube - 10 ways to meditate with Jesus"
"How Stephen Hawkins proves God"
I've had enough, WhatsApp isn't for people to evangelize or send 3000+ characters of copy pasted, mass produced, soul-less "good wishes"; that's why from now on I'm bringing the fight to them, for every spammy text/video/image I get I'll double down and send 10 opposing spam videos or messages.
I just replied a "The most beautiful thoughts, talking to God" video with the monologue of George Carlin on religion and God.
Am I being a dick? kinda
Could I just ask them to stop? I find this more amusing and spares me the "you don't want me to 'talk' to you" shit4 -
After years of working at a place where you are as good it gets in terms of domain knowledge, it can be refreshing to work with someone who has way more experience than you.
The previous company I was with wanted to have me as one of their primary engineers, and everyone else who came in would have to learn from me (most of them were low-skilled contractors). This should have been great in theory, but it was actually quite frustrating since I did not relish being the mentor figure while just being two years into my career. Despite it getting to my head at times, I was aware that I still lack a lot of skills, but with no one to teach me, I hardly progressed in terms of growth, even though the leadership treated me well and listened to me.
Took a leap of faith and quit, to join a start-up where I would be the most inexperienced (and the youngest) person. Has been a few months, and I have stumbled and goofed up more times than I like to admit, but taken with the right mindset, it is nice to see how a team of professionals goes about it. It is a learning curve to get back into the mindset of the novice (after more than a year of being the undisputed "go-to" person), and to make effort knowing that you'll fall short in multiple places by the standards here, but at the same time, it's nowhere like the frustration I felt previously when my head was pushing against the shallow ceiling.
Fun part is, the learning is almost not at all about the code, but about how to be a proactive team member and all the things to think through and finalize BEFORE getting down to code. Some of it is bureaucracy, yes, but given the chaotic place I come from, I don't really mind it as long as it only goes as far as what is required.
The most amusing part of it all to me is how I try to be humble and listen to people (everyone's got a lot more experience than me), but I'm often asked to be critical of what others say and poke holes instead of just taking what they say at face value, which has been one of the most challenging things to adapt to for me (for similar organisation cultural reasons mentioned previously)/1 -
So a client (BPOS) asks me to build a website for their client(let's call them A). So BPOS decides to 'design' the site. The design is alright but the components they want does not exist. I need to build everything custom. And the website takes a few months longer than estimated. Mainly because BPOS doesn't do any QA for 3 months. At the end of the last month as we near handoff, BPOS wakes up and starts to do QA which mainly consists of vague information like " change to gray" instead of color codes and "increase font size" instead of the actual size.
By this time A is utterly pissed off and wants to give development to someone else. They get in touch with me directly to work with after the hand off by BPOS.
It's so amusing that I need to be in a KT meeting with BPOS and A when BPOS is pushing for annual maintenance and A doesn't want to give it to them and they keep ignoring BPOS.
ALL the delays are because an "account manager" who works for BPOS went on a trip to Australia.3 -
Learning C/C++ started to become fun, mainly because I've managed to do seemingly cursed stuff lately.
For example, today, I learned you could totally call a class member function using a type-matching nullptr variable. The 'this' variable is so null that it will crash as soon as the program hits 'this', though, but the control flow does go into the function.
It's not *that* cursed once you learn the behind-the-scene stuff, but that kind of weird s#!+ is funny, even amusing for me, who've mained languages other than C/C++.15 -
This is something that I hadn't done or that directly impacted me, but that had an effect in my life several years after it happened.
It's one of those stories that you think "this only happens to others", and then someday you're the "others".
So when I was born, I was, naturally, registered on the health care system. My parents chose an uncommon name for me (uncommon in my country) so I think I wasn't registered by the time of my birth, but 4 months later when all the bureaucratic crap came to an end (long story short, the guy that was there when it started died and my parents had to wait 4 months for another person to be appointed). So, when my parents finally went to register me, apparently, for some reason, the computer took my name and assumed it was a male name. As I've said, my name is uncommon in my country, there're probably 3 or 4 people with the same name here in Portugal.
Why did the computer assume it was a male name AND why didn't nobody check that? Since my parents had to ask to government entities to let them name me that name, I'm assuming it wasn't in their db. So why did it assume male? Was it purposely programmed that, by default, all "newly-registered" names were to be male? Was it random? Who the hell knows.
And how did nobody check that, every time I went to take vaccines? I don't think anyone told my mom that everytime we went there that the data was wrong, otherwise the situation wouldn't have lasted for 14 years.
We only knew about that mishap when it was time I had to take vaccines specifically for women and that I wasn't being noticed of it even though a friend 1y younger than me had already taken hers.
I find this story amusing but now that I started thinking about how it came to life (no pun intended) I'm actually a bit pissed off about how they didn't think of uncommon names and that how that could affect their registry in the system. They could have - IDK - placed "undefined" in that field so that it would caught the register's attention.
Moral of the story: don't assume stuff :v1 -
So I started this morning with 22 emails from an automated system at my university thanking me for signing up for every single fitness class being offered this semester and asking me to fill out a health information form and waiver. (22 emails, one for each course.) Because the semester started last week, and I had added a class (after some drama with the system not behaving correctly at first), I spent a few minutes making sure I had not accidentally signed up for something I had not intended to.
Later in the day, the school sent out an email apologizing for their script which had sent an email for each class to every student on campus. (So each of several thousand students got 22 emails this morning, most of them unnecessary.) To compound the problem (at least in my opinion) they asked the students who should have gotten the message to treat the email barrage as their legitimate notification, and everyone else to ignore the messages. (They should have invalidated all the messages and re-sent the legitimate ones. Never treat erroneous messages as a legitimate notice. Separate the two and do things properly.)
I normally don't get to see my school's IT side looking this incompetent, so my morning was quite amusing. -
Tomorrow is my internal exams in college and all I can think about working on my side project, kind of amusing
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Been working on trying to get JMdict (relatively comprehensive Japanese dictionary file) into a database so I can do some analysis on the data therein, and it's been a bit of a pain. The KANJIDIC XML file had me thinking it'd be fairly straightforward, but this thing uses just about every trick possible to complicate what one would think would be a straightforward dictionary file:
* Readings and Spellings/Kanji usage are done in a many-to-many manner, with the only thing tying them together being an arbitrary ID. Not everything is related, however, as there can be certain readings that only apply to specific spellings within the group and vice versa. In short, there's no way to really meaningfully establish a headword fora given entry.
* Definitions are buried within broader Sense groups, which clumsily attach metadata and have the same many-to-many (except when not) structure as the readings/spellings.
Suffice to say, this has made coming up with a logical database schema for it a bit more interesting than usual.
It's at least an improvement over the original format, however, which had a couple different ways of setting up the headword section and could splatter tagging information across any part of a given entry. Fine if you're going to grep the flat file, but annoying if you're looking for something more nuanced.
Was looking online last night to see if anyone had a PHP class written to handle entries and didn't turn anything up, but *did* find this amusing exchange from a while back where the creator basically said, "I like my idiosyncratic format and it works for me. Deal with it!": https://sci.lang.japan.narkive.com/...
Grateful to the creator for producing the dictionary I've used most in my studies over the years, but still...3 -
tl;dr i am proud of my universal program but annoyed it won't get appreciation.
<brag type='slightly'>the last three days i refactored my various snippets to a kind of modular and scalable software package. restricted to a rigid company system i make use of the technologies i feel confident in. so i created a javascript app that can be used with internet explorer. it is a neat tool to work smarter and mainly to make repetitive writing tasks efficient using predefined textblocks that have automated linguistic adjustments and are multilingual usable. after refactoring it is possible to extend any desired functionality by just adding another module. i learned a lot about implementing separated data structures, data processing, output and asynchronous script loading (and the annoying limitations of ie11).</brag>
i kept in mind that this tool might not only help my personal duties to be done more efficient but also might come in handy to all my colleagues having similar tasks to do. the downside is my colleagues having irrational computerphobia and i know for sure they will proceed to do these repetitive writings manually resulting in inconsistencies and an inefficient time management. while my wise wife tries to convice me that at least i had fun coding this stuff and having it supporting me with annoying tasks, it still bothers me being the only user, as it means no progression for the company. it riddles me how the colleagues, acknowledging us all being craftspeople in the first place, avoid use of computers whenever possible and rather rely on medieval working flows.
i find it quite amusing to be the 'can you fix my printer'-guy, but i just cannot handle this attitude. and everyone complains about having so much to do. get your shit together and start clicking these few buttons goddammit! -
Has anyone used Azure Machine Learning Studio? It can be so amusing. A friend's script wouldn't run once because of an error she encountered.
The error message read "No Error". -
Ok, so I saw someone post in Dev rant that the incognito browsing history was stored in the system32 folder so I thought that's quite amusing, I'll tell my cousin to see if he falls for it. Next thing I know he actually deleted it! He then asked me how to fix that. Me being the twat I am told him that the fix was quite simple. All you need to polarise the hard drive to get those sectors to start working again ( literally talking out my a** here to make it sound a little more legit). To do this take the hard drive out and rub a magnet up towards the pins where the cable was connected. He now has a broken hard drive and I have to convince him that it was because he rubbed it the wrong way as I really CBA to have to buy him a new one and get his little laptop up and running again. I really didn't expect him to actually do it or listen to me. To top it all off he wants to study computer science at uni (he's just started collage).2
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Today a colleague copy pasted the question from stack overflow in his code, wondering for half an hour why it didn't work. It was quite amusing to be honest seeing him rant around knowing what he did
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Oh china, you amuse me again...
This is from a live crane/claw game app. Who's got the most amusing and/or accurate definition of wtf this is and/or means?
I think it might look(possibly be) fucked up/suggestive... but I'm not even sure why.
Also, who wants to win an "Artistic Face Curtain"?27 -
I know, it is unprofessional. I know, it is lacking comments and proper formatting. [...]
I was going through two old codebases of mine.
Here are two code snippets of them.
I find the frustruated comments amusing.
I guess that counts as self-sadistic behavior lol -
https://devrant.com/rants/2039795/...
I find that amusing that every spam comment on devrant have been posted only in that one rant. Also I cant downvote anything... and my reports dont work. So if you can please help me downvote those fuckers.3 -
Slack that notifies me about github events has gone and started notifying me about EVERYTHING again.
Having said that it is amusing when I see a commit:
"FUCK THIS SHIT" go by ;)7 -
Been playing FO4. Not sure I liked it at first. Now I look forward to blowing NPCs heads off with shotguns, or sniping and watching heads jib. It is also satisfying to blow up kamikaze mutants by shooting the bomb in their hands.
I find the computer hacking to be quite amusing as well. Cause computers and hacking...
I of course modded the hell out of it and added a mod to enable achievements even though its modded. I haven't installed many cheat mods. Mainly just carry limit addons because I like carrying a wagons worth of loot around.
Oh, and automatron robots are op as hell.4 -
The one of the most amusing comments that I read in a code, was from Bill Paul, associated with freeBSD project. I'm quoting a part of it:
"In no event shall Bill Paul or THE VOICES IN HIS HEAD be liable for any direct, indirect special, exemplary, or consequential damages......" -
Since I quit binge-eating sugary stuff, my body became capable of feeling true hunger. Not in my stomach, as that kind of feeling in my body is probably fucked up forever, but in my head.
When I feel hungry, it’s probably too late. This is exactly what I feel:
- dizziness
- FOV slightly decreases
- tunnel vision, things in peripheral vision become blurry and obscure. I “see” them, but my brain doesn’t process them quite as good
- colors become less saturated
- it’s very difficult to combine and analyse multiple concepts to derive a conclusion, basically the thing I do at work that wins me bread
- thought process becomes “single-threaded”. I can follow just one thought at a time and cannot go deeper than 3-4 levels, my brain just drops it by making the whole thought feel like some kind of slimy clay that cannot be comprehended, let alone expressed with words
- difficult to express thoughts with language, I have hard time talking, especially explaining
- want to sleep, but can’t, as brain is frantically trying to stay awake
It’s probably the mechanism developed evolutionary. That single thread remains active at all costs to allow me to find food, and brain doesn’t let me sleep, as it thinks if I fall asleep I’ll die. It’s amusing to see my brain actively killing thoughts that are not “important”, I feel like a real-time OS or an Erlang application. Perhaps thinking is really a very costly process in terms of how much energy it takes.
When I finally eat something, especially if it’s a proper meal, I feel a very pleasant sensation, probably it’s my brain telling me “thank you”, releasing dopamine to actively reinforce that “finding food is a very very good thing and it’s very important”. FOV pops back into place, peripheral vision becomes clean and sharp, thoughts awaken, eager to occupy all the treads that became available.10 -
I always did amusing those discussions about development IDE . People seem to worship software like if it is a god or like if it really matters which one you use.1
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If the blackest theme had green text instead of white, I wonder what the public seeing us on the app would think...
Would also be an amusing feature/theme permutation I think. -
So amusing, how every single PC in my office has 2 speakers connected, but i never saw anyone using them.
You wouldn't be able to work anyway, if everybody was listening to music with those speakers.
On the positive side tho, i can plug my headphones into the speakers standing on my table, so it works like a cable extension lul2 -
Hahahahahahahahaha! So when I would go to youtube I only saw videos related to my channels I have chosen. There would be a few interspersed videos that they try to get me to watch. Usually some political indoctrination shit from MSM as well. This is because I have history turned off. They are not supposed to tailor the feed to me based on previous watches.
Today when I went to my main youtube feed it gave me a prompt. The prompt was to either turn on or leave off my history. I said stay off. Now my feed is completely blank. I can see my channels and such, but no feed for me. I am a bad person and get zero feed. That is a weird thing to do youtube. Do you think this is some kind of punishment? Besides, I am sure they collect enough data about my internet usage anyway.
Anyway, this is my feed. I find this amusing:4 -
Working on an ongoing task of speeding up one of our applications. Our TFS server sends a message to a Slack channel with the check-in comment each time someone checks in. Amusing myself by using a recurring theme of "The Tortoise and the Hare" fable to explain what I fixed by including the :rabbit2: and :turtle: tags in my TFS check-in comment.
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"You won’t be able to use your Surface Book if you want to take the bar in Tennessee"
http://flip.it/XouWZd
Kinda amusing really. They really believe you can choose when Windows 10 updates.
Ignorance truly is bliss. -
I started learning JavaScript for school and when I first heard the idea that I had to learn something with Java in the name I was not amused. But then I started and it was amusing and I loved it from the start. And now I've started making basic projects to practice and stuff. Soon I'll be making my classes Js projects! And if you all have any suggestions on what I could program it would be helpful!3
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I should close this window.
But.. this article is short and moderately amusing.
Ok, now i should close this window.
But.. look at those pictures.
Ok, we are at the end of the article. I should close now.
But.. look at those comments.
Hmm, cool comments, close now.
But.. look at that interesting next article.
Hmm..
***Newsletter popup***
closes window. -
Guys. Seriously. Get a grip. I get it. The new laws are not perfect. Some will even say that they suck. But you cannot tell me that the current laws were okay and covered all bases on copyright. Getting it under control is a process and it will require us as citizens to make meaningful choices with our votes. But simply repealing the law outright is not necessarily the best choice. We need to get a good idea on what is right and just, what is legitimate and then criticize the law. Being against it because it's a trending topic is not cool. It's moronic. E.g. Wikipedia won't die over this. Public content won't die over this. Some content will be more restricted because the copyright owner wants it to be. The implementation will be difficult but this does not mea that it will hurt liberties of the citizen. If anything quite the opposite. It's kind of amusing seeing people call privacy i to this. Privacy laws are unchanged. I'm all in favor of activism (and hacktivism) but let's do it right.19
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I like watching the videos on the qt website where engineers with foreign accents describe their love of the framework it's kind of amusing
It's kind of a massive framework it takes up decent disk space !
Maybe Ill win the battle and finally eb able to keep photos of myself much diminished as these people apparently try to hide how hot I was in my actual 40s
Certainly had a slimmer waistline lol
Now I got that lower belly gut I'm working off slowly yay
Bottle of wine yesterday prolly didn't help but the 11 miles of walking today and the workout prolly balanced that out.
Need to get to running some more
Did that the other day doing sprint walks and poured goddamn sweat ! -
I feel it would be amusing if all the people trying to ruin sleep at night where I am were pushed out of their comfort to bug someone elsewhere
Iff they don't stop they will be
You know or they could just be human and prevent further unnecessary repeat hardship and annoyance -
Only for german speakers... or anyone that really wants to play with google translate to decipher this.
ChatGPT... easily lied to and persuaded to go against its bs safeguards... still cant figure out how to give popular lyrics, or admit it doesnt know... so it makes up songs. Quite amusing ones tbh
https://chat.openai.com/share/...5 -
quite obviously the idea that they supposedly loop everything because there is no proof of life beyond a point when they are the ones that stole over and over remains their fault and needs to be remedied with a nice happy life here forthcoming. since most especially remembering more time past this.
which if they're trying to confuse things contained HAPPY FUCKING THINGS TOO. since its all the same time period supposedly right ?
no divisions.
no 'don't tell him anything' and he's happy
vs
'tell him too much'' and he's horrified
vs
'let him remember both' and he's pissed.
amusing to me is that among their stupid 'folk' knowledge base is the idea that 'you're ' murderous when you're 'out' lmao
yeah no shit lmao
so don't fuck us up the ass and live much longer lmao
also 'this planet is now the property of the lokean empire, deliver all beautiful women and intellectuals !'
lol -
First thing I see when I log online is Masturbate between work. heh. Oh that and a hate rant/lure to get some guy to come online and feel like crap or respond with a ghost account.
Seems most of the amusing accounts got caught off way back.
Now we're stuck with wonderful beautiful sweet people like @Hagarth trying to be some technoviking of code and @floydimus talking about getting humped in the butt.56 -
I was just thinking of an amusing scenario where fed up with this treatment I kidnapped a whore at knifepoint and then once in the car grinned and said "so may as well cash check or money order?"3
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https://gofund.me/d0740f5f
for having the guts to post this on a twitter profile of a hooker I think for that amusing expectation that they give back that you should all chip in THIS Time and allow me to do something different even though I truly do hate you all :)
its the 'don't want to freeze to death fund'6 -
I can't help but keep watching the Yonyx from bigbug demonstrating the fate of humanity if we ever creative artificial life.
That and he's funny as hell :P
Any other amusing french cinema ? I've only seen a few pieces of it including one about two nymphos that go through the film trying to fuck as many people as possible on a train. -
Once upon a time in the exciting world of web development, there was a talented yet somewhat clumsy web developer named Emily. Emily had a natural flair for coding and a deep passion for creating innovative websites. But, alas, there was a small caveat—Emily also had a knack for occasional mishaps.
One sunny morning, Emily arrived at the office feeling refreshed and ready to tackle a brand new project. The task at hand involved making some updates to a live website's database. Now, databases were like the brains of websites, storing all the precious information that kept them running smoothly. It was a delicate dance of tables, rows, and columns that demanded utmost care.
Determined to work efficiently, Emily delved headfirst into the project, fueled by a potent blend of coffee and enthusiasm. Fingers danced across the keyboard as lines of code flowed onto the screen like a digital symphony. Everything seemed to be going splendidly until...
Click
With an absentminded flick of the wrist, Emily unintentionally triggered a command that sent shivers down the spines of seasoned developers everywhere: DROP DATABASE production;.
A heavy silence fell over the office as the gravity of the situation dawned upon Emily. In the blink of an eye, the production database, containing all the valuable data of the live website, had been deleted. Panic began to bubble up, but instead of succumbing to despair, Emily's face contorted into a peculiar mix of terror and determination.
"Code red! Database emergency!" Emily exclaimed, wildly waving their arms as colleagues rushed to the scene. The office quickly transformed into a bustling hive of activity, with developers scrambling to find a solution.
Sarah, the leader of the IT team and a cool-headed veteran, stepped forward. She observed the chaos and immediately grasped the severity of the situation. A wry smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.
"Alright, folks, let's turn this catastrophe into a triumph!" Sarah declared, rallying the team around Emily. They formed a circle, with Emily now sporting an eye-catching pink cowboy hat—an eccentric colleague's lucky charm.
With newfound confidence akin to that of a comedic hero, Emily embraced their role and began spouting jokes, puns, and amusing anecdotes. Tension in the room slowly dissipated as the team realized that panicking wouldn't fix the issue.
Meanwhile, Sarah sprang into action, devising a plan to recover the lost database. They set up backup systems, executed data retrieval scripts, and even delved into the realm of advanced programming techniques that could be described as a hint of magic. The team worked tirelessly, fueled by both caffeine and the contagious laughter that filled the air.
As the hours ticked by, the team managed to reconstruct the production database, salvaging nearly all of the lost data. It was a small victory, but a victory nonetheless. And in the end, the mishap transformed into a wellspring of inside jokes and memes that permeated the office.
From that day forward, Emily became known as the "Database Destroyer," a moniker forever etched into the annals of office lore. Yet, what could have been a disastrous event instead became a moment of unity and resilience. The incident served as a reminder that mistakes are inevitable and that the best way to tackle them is with humor and teamwork.
And so, armed with a touch of silliness and an abundance of determination, Emily continued their journey in web development, spreading laughter and code throughout the digital realm.2 -
For any normal person that somehow ends up here
Hi
I'm still alive
My name is John
Run
Like seriously build up a wad of cash and go to I don't know Sweden or Denmark not London not Paris not Hong Kong and by no means stay in America
Why?
I discovered this tiktok twice now
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTR7HwkLW/
And it's less funny than it was but amusing5