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Search - "asshole manager"
I may have an unpopular opinion, but I.......
fucking hate these universal programming languages that try too hard to make cross-platform bullshit easy to develop for. THEY PISS ME OFF SO MUCH...
Like, for example:
STOP FUCKING HAVING 2000 BILLION DEPENDENCIES, LIKE WRITE YOUR OWN ORIGINAL CODE AND TRY NOT TO FUCKING MAKE A MONOLITHIC FUCKING MONSTER OF A CODEBASE. I BET SOMEONE WROTE THE ENTIRETY OF GNU UTILS IN JS, WHAT THE FUCK?!
Yea, let's make a platform that everyone needs a fucking VM for. Sounds great. And also fuck OS GUI guidelines and make our own cancerous looking solaris shit UI, yay.
Microsoft: We will make a UNIVERSAL programming language like C++, but with some stuff from Java.
Microsoft: Universal under Windows platforms that is...
Me: go fuck yourself, you greedy cunt. Atleast Apple has the decency to make Objective-C work on non Apple software, unlike YOU. FUCKING CHEAP BASTARD.
I don't have much against it, but having pip seperate from the package manager on Linux (atleast) is annoying as fuck. And also compiling it into a executable would be "THE FEATURE" and not some 3rd party shitty solution that fucking breaks in a year or two.
Come to think of it, people SHOULD FUCKING STOP TRYING TO MAKE A NO-PORTING UTOPIA SOLUTION, BUT INSTEAD FOCUS ON MAKING IT EASIER TO PORT. A little "#define MYFUCKINGOS" wouldn't fucking hurt, you know. Because at the end if you run a VM, interpreter, have a shit ton of dependencies or just are a fucking monopolistic asshole, you're gonna piss off and divide people.
Image source: https://reddit.com/r/...25
Manager: I just think you are being too negative. Like sometimes other people have opinions too and we should hear them out before saying no.
Me: Well your opinion is the devs shouldn't be able to estimate their own tasks and you should decide on our behalf how long something should take.
You also want to decide what tech stack we use, because you followed a "Hello World" tutorial last night and it worked out for you.
Just because you got a simple webpage up and running in 2 hours doesn't mean all websites take 2 hours with the tech. Were not sitting in the corner laughing that you think its taking us 3 weeks to build this.
I'm not being negative simply because I don't agree with you. I'm not being unreasonable if I say I can do 6 weeks work in 2 weeks. And although it sounds offensive, i'm actually doing you a favour by telling you to get your head out of your ass11
PM: 2 months? no thats way too long, do it in 1.
Director: I had a chat with someone else who doesn't work on this team, he says that developer you complained about is a good guy and we should keep him on the team.
Business: No, we don't have time for tech debt, lets build these new features as quick as possible and lets see where we are.
everyone: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT CRASHED AGAIN??? THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE6
So I own a webshop together with a guy I met at one of my previous contract jobs. He said he had a great idea to sell product X because he can get them very cheap from another European country. Actually it is a great idea so we decided to work together on this: I do everything tech related, he does the non tech stuff.
Now we are more than 1 year in business. I setup a VPS, completely configured it, installed and setup the complete webshop, built 2 custom PrestaShop modules, built many customizations, built a completely new order proces (both front and back end), advertised quite some products, did some link building, ensured everything is in place to do proper SEO, wrote some content pages, did administration and tax declarations, rewrote a part of a PrestaShop component because it was so damn inefficient and horribly slow, and then some more. Much more.
He did customer relation management, supplier management and some ad words campaigns. Promised me many times to write the content for our product pages. This guy has an education in marketing but literally said: I'm not gonna invest in creating some marketing plan. I have no ambition in online marketing.
What?! You have the marketing knowledge and skills but refuse to use it to market our webshop and business? What the fuck is wrong with you?!
Today he says to me: 'Hey man, this is becoming an expensive hobby as we don't sell much and have lots of costs. I don't understand why I should be the one to write these content pages. Everything you did in the past 8 months can be done in less than 20 hours! You are a joke and just made it a big deal by spreading your work over so many months. I know for sure because I currently work at a company where I'm surrounded by front end devs! Are you fucking crazy?! You're a liar.'
He talks like this to me every 2 months or so while he can't even deliver the content for 1 single product in 6 fuckin' months! We even had to refund a few of our customers because Mr. client relations manager didn't respond to their e-mails within 1 fucking week!! So I asked him how could that have happened as you do the client relations and support. Well, he replied to me: 'Why didn't YOU respond to our clients? You don't log on in our back office at least once a day?!'.
Of course I do asshole. But YOU don't. He replied that I was lying just like I was lying about what I did for our business.
So, asshole, let's have a look at PrestaShops logs to see who's logging in daily. Well, you can probably guess who's IP was there in most of the entries. It wasn't his.
So, what the fuck have you been doing then?! You can't even manage to respond quickly to a client?!! We have maybe 50 clients and if we get 1 question a month by email it is already a lot. But you keep bitching, complaining and insulting me instead?!!!
Last time he literally admitted on a WhatsApp conversation that he had and still has the hope that he could just sit back and relax and watch me do ALL the work.
Well, guess what you fucking moron. That's not what we agreed upon. You fuckin' retard think you're so smart but you say EVERYTHING on WhatsApp! Including your promises to me. Thank you you fuckin' piece of dog shit because now I have hard evidence and will hand it over to my lawyer to make you pay every god damn cent for all the hours I've spent working on our business. Oh, and I'll take over the webshop and make it a success on my own because I know damn well how to get relevant traffic and thus customers.
You just go get yourself fucked in the ass without lubricant you fuckin' asshole. I have told you you shouldn't fuck with me because I take business very seriously. I even warned you when you were crossing a line again. Well, if you don't listen... You will pay for the consequences. I will be so damn happy to tell you 'I told you so' with a very very big smile on my face. That momemt WILL come, 'partner'.
Fuck you. You will be fucked. Count on that. Fucking asshole.8
So the remote manager who won't reply to my emails or slacks, won't invite me to meetings with product / design, won't ask for my opinion on deadline dates and won't tell me whats being said in meetings (despite repeated effort on my part to change this);
Has decided to send an angry email, cc'ing a bunch of people, about "constant deadline slippage" and poor planning on our part focusing on features that should have been de-prioritised.
*clears throat for maximum yelling rant-ability*
I HAVE BEEN EMAILING YOU FOR FUCKING WEEKS ASKING TO TALK ABOUT THE DEADLINES YOU FUCKING COLOSSAL ASS CLOWN.
I'VE BEEN REPEATEDLY TOLD THAT THESE FEATURES ARE A MUST HAVE AFTER ASKING TO DE-PRIORITISE THEM, AND HAVE TOLD YOU THE DATES ARE NOT FEASIBLE.
ONE MORE, ONE MORE EMAIL OR BAD COMMENT AND I'M EXPENSING A TRIP OVER THERE, TO KICK YOU SQUARE IN THE NUTS AS HARD AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. I'LL HAPPILY BREAK MY FOOT OFF IF NECESSARY, YOU USELESS PIECE OF SHIT.
... the above is work appropriate to email back to him and all the higher ups right?15
I fucking saw it coming!
I discussed with my manager a much required raise given the number of patents the company has filed on my work, successfull completion of a full-scale ML product in 6 fucking months and working as a team lead for the last 2 month.
"We cannot bypass the policy of appraisal every one year"
"This is not the right time to ask for a raise from management"
And still that scumbag expects me to work on saturday, dedicate more that 9 hours everyday, not complain about the poor management and arrive on time everyday !
It is really time to leave this shithole company and this piece of shit manager who btw draws most of the budget allocated to the team.
I think I have realised not to give more fucks than paid for to any job no matter what.
Hands down. Fuck this!11
So this shit happened today...
We were asked to implement a functionality on the device that allows it to go to standby mode to save battery power. Once the device enters that state, it can only be woken up by actual bus-network activity, and usually that means connecting a shit-ton of wiring harness and network emulation devices... Before implementing and releasing the device software that does this, we told that fucktard customer how difficult it would be for him to connect to the device without such a setup. He seemed to be fine with it and said rather arrogantly that we should implement the requirement as asked...
Well okay you cock-sucking motherfucker, you'll get exactly what you asked for... We implement the functionality and deliver the software...
Now this pile of shit comes back running his mouth on how the device tears down all its interfaces (to reduce power consumption) and he can't connect to the device anymore.... Well what else were you expecting you dickhead.
To make things worse for me apparently he runs to the manager describing his apparent problem. Both of them come to my desk.. With that fucking Bastard hiding his smugly mug behind the manager's back... He thought he was going to have the upper hand... Well guess what fucked piece of shit, I came prepared... I showed the manager how this was a part of the requirements by throwing that JIRA ID in their faces... The manager seems to understand but this relentless fuck wanted me to implement a "workaround" that would allow him to connect to the device easily... The manager almost had me implement that workaround, when I expose a huge security flaw in doing so. Guess what, now the entire team comes to my desk and start supporting my statement... To make it better they also tell how doing so will violate other requirements...
I've never felt so happy in my entire fucking career, when the entire team stood by me and watched that asshole drag his sorry ass back to his place5
I look at this nowadays so often during office just that I don't quit this fucking job all because of work load and dumbass and asshole manager4
It goes like this.
I have one final task to solve before starting in a new job at a different company. This guy, which is also a board member in the company in which I'm currently hired, is also an IT consultant and project manager in a fairly large company. This said person is also a key person for me being able to solve this last issue. I send him a complete guide on what he has to do before I can move on and wrap it all up.
First conflict arises because he doesn't follow the guide and tells me something is not working. I kindly inform him why and the response I get is very personal and not kind in any way, telling me and my boss that I am bad at my job and that he will bill us for 1000 USD for the 5 hours he used "debugging" and testing. This should have taken him 30 minutes and I have no idea what he spent those 5 hours doing.
It comes down to that my boss sides with this asshole and tells me that I have to do the task all over and test the system for the 4th time (yes I tested it 3 times beforehand to make sure nothing could go wrong) What my boss and the asshole doesn't know is that my uncle is vice president in the firm the asshole is working for. After kindly reminding this asshat that he has to follow the guide and that I can confirm everything is working, he keeps on attacking me. It's very rare that I fuck up and I have consulted 2 colleagues and got them to test it as well. They found no issues at all. The asshole ignored my request of documentation that something was not working.
I'm so full of being treated as an idiot so I send my uncle the email correspondence with the asshole to confirm that this is not how any of their employees should behave independant of my ability to do my job.
He will speak with this fucker tomorrow at work as first thing in the morning. I'm not proud of the way I went about this, but that was like the last drop, if you know what I mean.
Sorry for the long rant.20
I developed a simple scholarship management system for my school using Laravel, MySQL, jQuery and Bootstrap, I did it for free since college students from my country have to pay social service to get their degrees. Everyone in the scholarships department seemed to be really happy with my work and they evaluated my social service with 10/10, but yesterday they asked for one last favor: to go talk to the new social service guy who'll be supposed to maintain my project, a mid 30's dude who was really pissed off from the beginning because he wasn't even able to deploy the project, he wasn't even able to clone the project from Github. Ok, so I tried to explain to him the tools I used and how the project was structured, but everything I said seemed to piss him even more, so I stopped and had a chat like:
Me: "Look man, do you know or at least have basic concepts of PHP and MVC frameworks?"
Guy: "Yes, but I'm a project manager, not just –despectively– any programmer, and you didn't write proper documentation, it's impossible to deploy your project with the manual you wrote, I cannot work like this".
*We go to their computer and I clone and setup the project in 3 minutes.
Guy: "Yes, but I still don't know how the project works, I need everything documented. If I have to change something, I don't know where to look.
Me: "Man, that's why asked you about knowing PHP MVC frameworks".
Guy: "I cannot work like this, nothing is documented, I don't even know what's that software you're using *points at Sublime Text*. Or tell me, can you arrive at a place where they expect you to work with something you don't know and they have no documentation?"
*At this point he was really pissed
Me: "Well... Dealing with non-documented software is what I do for a living"
Guy: "I don't know what companies you've worked for, probably not big ones..."
Me: "Well, I actually work for *I mention one of the biggest music apps in the country*"
*Guy ironically laughs
When I gave my feedback to the lady in charge of the department, I told her that this guy was really pissed off at how things were done and that I wasn't so sure of him being capable of maintaining the system. She told me not to worry, that the guy became a well known asshole in the office only after a few days, and that she'll probably have to find something else for him to do. It'd be hilarious if this guy ends up capturing scholarships in the system I made.4
After I lost a months of work, I was assigned a bug to retest.
Well, something wasn't right. The results were not as expected.
I sat with developer for entire day. We fought, we laughed, we were frustrated, we were trying hard. We literally had no time to even take a leak. We struggled while my entire team was enjoying gala time jerking off each other.
Seniors and managers didn't help when we seeked for help.
Struggled like shit. And found a major bug in one of our earlier realises which is running in production for top clients. Just to remind you, this bug might cause few million dollars of financial loss if that feature is executed.
Well, we report it immediately. My dev friend was excited that we'll be appreciated and rewarded for this discovery. I was sceptical and afraid already because I know shit heads who rule us.
It was observed that one of our other manager was responsible for testing this functionality when it was built and it was missed by her.
Fuck!!! Nobody says a word. And I and my dev friend get questioned that why wasn't it detected earlier.
What the fuck!!! We didn't even know such a functionality existed. We never worked on it. It was missed by some asshole and we get blamed.
Look on my dev friend's face when we were being bashed for no reason was priceless 😂
I could see his world getting shattered.
I stood up for him and myself. Defended ourselves and by now, I have enough experience to game the system.
So I get ourselves out safely and teach my dev friend this valuable lesson on how to deal with shit heads in such situations.
Another corporate lesson: never get excited for reporting something which others missed as it will be dumped upon you and you'll be fucked for doing good.4
Incoming office rant alert!
Some people just want to destroy humanity. Their sole purpose is to create as much negative destruction as possible.
So this bastard, working with me in my previous project seeked me for help. He wanted a better project and work. Because the previous manager troubled him a little which his weak cunt could not bear. But just for the records, our previous manager was fucking amazing. A great mentor. This loose cunt found issues with such a person.
Anyway, out of goodwill, I talk to my current manager and get him moved. All good.
Bugger starts playing mind games in new team with me, my friends, other team members and manager. The ass licker we all know (refer earlier rants).
Things start slowly breaking and everybody thinks that manager is an asshole (well, he is a bit not that bad as much as this guy). This fucker slowly brainwashes everybody making them think he is a victim of office politics (which didn't exist in first place) and gains sympathy from everybody.
Now he started behaving like a manager and kicking everybody's ass by his cheap mind games and politics by making everybody against each other.
I helped him and he set up everybody against me. Made my manager hate me for no reason.
There is no morale or team spirit left anymore. And with 70% of the team being laid off overnight, the motherfucker is happiest because he gets the money and position he desire at others' loss.
Time to quit this project. Just a month or two more and I shall be free.
But I wouldn't resist to punch this motherfucker in his face breaking all his teeth.9
I posted a while back about a manager I had who vaped excessively indoors, during meetings, one on ones, etc. He was a total asshole. He was still a total asshole if you overlooked the strawberry scented Cape Canaveral act. This guy was good at CSS, I will give him that, but that's all he was good at. Couldn't comprehend basic JS, scared of jQuery, and would promptly shoot down ANY approach that didn't involve using WordPress. He was also one of the biggest power tripping egotistical know it all mother fucking pieces of shit and worst human beings in general that I've ever met. At least he had paint-by-numbers going for him.
We had a meeting with a client one day that wanted some kind of IRC thing with SMS support. I can't remember exactly what it was now, and it doesn't matter. I had been working on a slack-like clone for months at that point, and it was ok. It was a for-fun kinda thing. Not great by any stretch, but it worked. Mostly. I thought it might be a possible head start for the client's app, so I showed it to my manager.
I didn't get five words out before he's screaming and yelling in front of God and everyone. Customers, colleagues, the owner. "Don't work on anything without my permission ever again". I stood there, shocked. Actually couldn't speak for a couple of minutes. It was the same thing around the now very quiet and awkward open floorplan office. When words found me again, I turned to this sack of shit and said "I need to have a word with you in private". Long story short, I ended up walking out that day.5
Manager is at clients to deliver production and he is constantly sending us new requirements that should be implemented and pushed IMMEDIATELY!
Here are a few extra conditions:
1, It should work!
2, It should not compromise what is already there!
3, It should be well tested!
4, It should be immediate!!
Guess my count for number of incompetent managers I have come across just incremented!
My manager is an idiot and a complete asshole.
Knowing that I was working on a solution for an important problem, he sent an email to our customers saying that the problem cannot be solved, and the customers need to take care of it themselves. He sent this email the evening before I was supposed to present my solution to everybody.
It's not the first time something like this happens, but this stupid individual RESIGNED ONE MONTH AGO. He's in notice period right now, and nonetheless he keeps fucking people like he used to do. WHY THE FUCK MANAGEMENT DOES NOT BLOCK HIS EMAIL!?6
My co-worker got removed from the team in the most unprofessional way. We all gathered for daily stand-up at 7 PM in the evening and everyone took turns to discuss cards assigned to them. When it came to my co-worker, he was simply not part of the board. All his cards removed, all his git/jira access revoked by asshole manager simply because he questioned his poor approach and his 'vision' (read lack of). He told to HR that his part of the work is done which I informed them was a lie.
Jerk guy didn't even have a discussion with him after that, totally left in dark with all the access revoked and nowhere to go.
I resigned next week. Co-worker is doing great now. Good Riddance.
Today was the most fuckedup day of my internship as a software developer. I have this shithead manager who doesnt know how to explain the client requirements properly and keeps on fucking yelling at me for not understanding the requirement and not coming up with the right output. That asshole compares me with the other teammate as to how fast he is and how slow i am to even write 5 lines of code in python.(I am new to python). He has yelled at me in his cabin with the door open so that everyone on the floor could hear. Most humiliating and disappointing day of my life. I dont feel like seeing that shitheads face again. I just have a month left and i will be happy if the opportunity doesnt get converted to a full time. Todays events have made me doubt myself to a great extent and has left me disheartened. Ranting abt it makes me feel a little better.7
My worst ever manager was at my first job. He was a dumb, conceited asshole who somehow made everyone believe he was the best at what he did. Luckily he took special interest in me (me being a young girl in my early 20's and all), and tried to spend as much time with me as possible, to the point where he got jealous when i preferred to hang out with another coworker rather than him on business trips, or took smoke breaks with someone other than him.
To name just one example, we were drinking at my coworker's hotel room until late, at which point I fell asleep on his bed. I was later told that my manager wouldn't leave and let the other guy sleep (assuming that there was something going he did not give his blessing to). Finally he left at about 4 am, just to appear the next morning ten minutes early to pick us up, directly at my hotel room of course, to check on me. He was the sneakiest, slimiest bastard I have ever met.
Of course I left the company as soon as I could, and told HR about it. Don't worry though - by the time I left he's found himself a new 19 year old intern to harass, who happened to enjoy the extra attention.4
Why does almost everyone act as if the world they live in is perfect, or is supposed to be perfect?
This is about approaching IT infrastructures, but goes way beyond IT, into daily lives.
Daniel Kahneman wrote about the "Econs" - a mythical creature that behaves according to rules and rational thoughts, that everybody is guided by, as opposed to Humans, who are irrational, intuitive and emotional.
My beef is with a wider perception, beyond economical analysis, profit, investment and so on.
Organization A uses a 15 year old system that is crappy beyond description, but any recent attempt to replace it have failed. Josh thinks that this is a crappy organization, any problem lies within the replacement of that system, and all resources should be devoted to that. Josh lives in a perfect world - where shit can be replaced, where people don't have to live with crappy systems. Josh is stupid, unless he can replace that old system with something better. Don't be Josh. Adapt to the fucking reality, unless you have the power to change it.
Peter is a moron who downloads pirated software with cracks, at the office. He introduced a ransomware that encrypted the entire company NAS. Peter was fired obviously, but Sylvia, the systems administrator, got off easily because Peter the moron was the scapegoat. Sylvia truly believes that it's not her fault, that Peter happened to be a cosmic overgrown lobotomized amoeba. Sylvia is a fucking idiot, because she didn't do backups, restrict access, etc. Because she relied on all people being rational and smart, as people in her imaginary world would be.
Amit finished a project for his company, which is a nice modern website frontend. Tom, the manager says that the website doesn't work with Internet Explorer 8, and Amit is outraged that Tom would even ask this, quoting that IE8 is a dinosaur that should've been euthanized before even hatching. Amit doesn't give a shit about the fact that 20% of the revenue comes from customers that use IE8, what's more important to him is that in his perfect imaginary world everybody uses new hardware and software, and if someone doesn't - it's their fault and that's final. Amit is a fucking asshole. Don't be like Amit.
React to the REAL world, not what you WANT the world to be. Otherwise you're one of them.
The real world can be determined by looking at all the fuck ups and bad situations, admit that they happen, that they're real, that they will keep happening unless you do something that will make them impossible to happen or exist.
Acting as if these bad things don't exist, or that they won't exist because someone would or should change it, is retarded.10
I hate when manager wants an Android app supportable all the way to GinerBread .FUCK YOU ASSHOLE how about I tell you to work 24/7 .PM Shitholes doesn't know shit about coding and make some unrealistic promises and when things don't work this bastards are all over your ass and want you to fix things . How about asking a developer before making such unrealistic promises . Let me tell you PM are the most useless kind of people's in the world who has failed to prove their significance in the company. Fuck you....PMs9
Project manager: I haven't seen an automated email go out in a while.
Me: ok let me check. Can you provide me a previous email for reference?
Project manager: no
*Itterate 3 times*
Me: ok, does this template resemble the email you're missing?
PM after 3rd attempt to identify the email they're missing: comes into my office and tells me he's not even going to answer my emails anymore cause I can't find his missing email.
Me: finally nails down the email he's *missing* and there's nothing wrong with it.
PM: doesn't believe me.
I fucking hate bad PM's. Asshole can't be bothered to provide usefull information to save his life then questions everything I tell him and thinks I'm the idiot when it takes me 3x as long to fix/find something.6
5 day deadline with stupid requests.
So, after these series of events:
I was full on sarcasm mode yesterday and heard my name in a conversation between my boss and a front end dev ( my boss sits literally behind me ) ...
They were talking about improvements on the web app that I made in a rush to a meeting.
I was there thinking : fuck.. Don't ask... Don't ask
But I could not restrain my self and I did ask: hey, what's that about? It isn't for the meeting at day April's 9 , is it? ( in a "of course not" tone )
He said it is... With the most annoying dumb smile face he always does ( I'm convinced he might be retarded )
And I just : can't be done.
So we started chatting about it... How it is gonna be presented to our manager on Monday ( April's 2 ) for approval and how we are gonna implement it by April's 9.
Stick with me on this one:
I'm the sole dev.
The only one that know the back end tech.
The only one that deals with the servers.
I'm heeling you : 5 fucking days isn't enought!
Its gonna be 5 days if, and only if everything is approved by Monday fucking morning. Which I bet my asshole isn't gonna be.
So let's pretend we have 5 days to change the fucking logic of how shdt works we still need the data to put in there... Aaahh the data... That shit is the fucking holy-grail around here... Impossible to find.
And he said it is important for a 2nd round of investment that we do that.
These people are fucking insane...
I really don't know what to think... I'm gonna have to go full rage-mode once more to accomplish this?
I'm already burned down from the last couple weeks doing that.
I used my last energy with the last rush... For nothing.4
So far 9 people left because of that newly hired COO ( check my previous rants ), 4 from digital department including the manager
Enjoy making the company bankrupt asshole !!!5
agency lesson 10motherfucking1 . Never take your project managers demands and run with them. Ask 10s, 100s of questions if needed. Layout every little aspect of the project and every little demand and every little asset needed.
They will fuck you in your ass and turn every eye on you when the client gets angry. They will fucking ruin you for the sake of their job.
Cover your ass in every way possible. Do not let your asshole manager define how shit is going down because (say it with me) THOSE WHO CAN DO! THOSE WHO CANT MANAGE!1
My dickhead manager strikes again...
TL;DR: He is still a cocksucker who is dogmatically arrogant.
So for the upcoming release I have been assigned the most important and critical module of our huge product based on my performance.
The business analyst team as usual fucked up and delayed like more than 3 months then their expected timeline.
Ohoo!! Pressures on us baby.
Engineering team managed to build the module in a very short time under a lot of pressure but with more people and working over time.
Now I have to test the software. And this time the combinations to perform for different scenarios are in zillions.
I have three weeks to complete entire task with a junior assigned to me who knows nothing. Not only I have to complete my task and deal with junior's queries but also groom and train the person for upcoming tasks.
My manager is a cunt who never helps others but blames people for not helping him.
So I talk him about work overload and seek an extra person to help me out.
Dogmatic asshole doesn't listen and has an excuse/reason for every valid argument I have.
Finally I gave up and decided to go with his approach and when things start falling out of place I will talk to higher management that I followed his approach because he didn't listen to me.
Some people just want to watch the world burn.7
A month ago, a company called my friend for an interview. They had a good talk but at the end they couldn't agree on the salary.
A week later they called him for a technical interview and they're ready to renegotiate with him the salary he's asking for. The Interview went successful and everything seems fine. They told that they'll send him a mail about the offer they're proposing.
2 days later he got the mail and the offer was kinda good, so he confirmed the agreement and they planned to sign the contract today.
After he went to the office and the manager came 1 hour late and he told him and i quote '' I'm sorry your application has been rejected, there's a women that refused to hire you ''.
I mean come on how can someone be an asshole more then this.
Just to add this company still uses eclipse for android development.3
Fuck this shit! Roommate just barged in at 3:30AM, his gf in tow. They went to bed like I am not here and he is snoring like a chainsaw. I never understood how can she sleep next to him while he snores like that. I have earplugs and active noise cancelling headphones on. I can still hear that motherfucker loud and clear. How the fuck is she not awake?!
But more importantly, 50% of this fucking room is mine, what makes him think he can just have his girlfriend over while I am here is beyond me. Like, sure, if I am not here go ahead but when I am here I would like some privacy, I guess the plank wall that I made in the middle of the room is not an obvious enough clue that I want privacy and I don't want to be disturbed :-/
Can't wait to have enough proof of his bullshit to get the block manager to throw him out.
Edit: To add to the snoring problem: I had a girlfriend who would snore, less than my roommate but still loud enough that I was awake the whole night when I went to sleep at her place... I HATE SNORING ... And when I went home for some holidays and my brother snored even for a second I kicked him off of his bed (because why not, he is an asshole to me like 99% of the time - and so am I to him :D //sibling love//)12
Me : We need a resource that can help us achieve the deadlines that you set and the sudden requirement changes that arrive.
Manager: What are the requirement specifics?
Me: Candidate should have industry experience and have worked on such and such projects.
Manager: Better to take new interns. We can have 4 interns in cost of 1 full time.
Me: What about skills and relevant experience?
Manager: You can teach them right?
Me: What about the deadline then?
Manager: You will have 4 people to achieve deadline.
I am currently in a contract for 1 year that expires in May. Should I breach the bond and run from this shit manager? Should i persist like a stoic?
Help me people, I am dying working under this piece of shit that doesn't even know where to type git clone and claims himself to be very technically advanced!8
This motherfucker cocksucker E2E tester first pings me on slack that we are good. And then mails my manager that we are not. I don't mind him pinging me at 2am in night. But atleast he should tell that directly to me first not making me look like a fool. Such an asshole. I might just leave my company because of him. Motherfucking son of bitch.2
So I've been working as an operator in IBM for a year now. Two months after my onboard our team got an onboarding freeze. Since then more than a half of the team left and more are supposed to go, soo there is a problem covering all the workload. I volunteered to take 4th customers workload (out of 4 customers our team supports) because I already knew most of the work that is done there.
At a one-to-one meeting with my manager I asked for a little raise, because I have the 4th customer, I take other peoples shift anytime they need to take a free day, I update the documentation regularly, I write scripts for coworkers for installing software/automating what can be automated (and I'm the youngest here...) bla bla, telling him that I think I do a lot for the team and I deserve it. He told me that he would rather take away one of the customers workload. I rolled my eyes and went with it.
Two days later this asshole gave a raise to a guy, who was onboarding with me, because he wanted to motivate him. That very same day he told us that it seems like two customers are going to merge into one workload.
I'm so pissed because of this. I do my best all the time so I can get promoted to 2nd level linux team (I'm kinda one foot there) but the freeze is still preventing me to go. I'm already so tired of dealing with the bullshit of customer not knowing their own infrastructure, shitstorms of tickets during changes after level 2 didn't set maintenance mode again, repairing coworkers linux boxes because they don't know better and I'm so pissed at this un-initiative dickhead of a manager that gives a raise to lazy people.
I spent a month trying to understand how to split our application and setup a pdf server to manage 10'000> pdf documents generation at the same time.
Today during our monthly meeting, our dear Key Account Manager, said he's not selling pdf generation to customers since one year at least, and he's not planning to sell it in the future.
Nobody knew about that apparently. We had also some demo guys showing actually the functionality to potential customers.
Also nobody believe me when I say we should start a project to monitor used functionalities in our application.
Just wasted one month of my fucking extra-time. Now I'm late with a lot of other tasks, apparently more urgent that the potential scalability issue of a functionality we don't use.
Key Account Manager rules.
Key Asshole Manager.
I think we should hire a Key fucking-COMMUNICATION Manager
Don't use your senior software engineer title or years of experience as reasons in a debate or argument about software
My manager was asking me what steps needs to be done to perform a disaster recovery for our cluster( on production). I will be honest here, I have not maintained this type of cluster(kubernetes) in production before. However, I have enough understand of the system to answer my boss question. I basically told him there are A, B, C you have to do.
My senior developer jumped in and said "No you should do A,C, B because C is more critical than B. " I then replied to him: "I understand your point, I notice that too, but .." Before I can even finish my sentence, this dude has already rolled his eyes and interrupted me very loudly: "Have you worked with these systems on production before? I did". The asshole knows I haven't maintained Kubernetes on production yet of course.
I got super pissed at him and pretty much shouted back to him and my manager: "Just because I haven't worked on this system on production yet, does not mean my argument is wrong" .
I then dragged my managers, that asshole, and other engineers in a room and settle this out. In the end, people agreed with my steps over that asshole senior engineer dude because I gave them rational reasons.
The conclusion is: Your senior title is given by the company, It doesn't mean anything to me. Also, it doesn't make you more right than another person just because he has a "lower" title than you.1
Bower, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF CRAP PACKAGE MANAGER!
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?
This asshole software is fucking with me and steals my time!
bower mapsjs-core#* cached e-tag:64e4e0850
bower mapsjs-core#* resolved e-tag:41af792c9
bower mapsjs-core#* install e-tag:41af792c9
What would you think is the installed version? WRONG! It's the fucking old cached version.
What the fuck is happening? Probably it's thinking "oh, this is the cached version, I'm looking if there is a new version for it. Yep, new version. I'll download it. But I have a cached version in the user home-directory, I better tell the that I installed the new version but take the old one."
When I wasn't a part of IT during the beginning I used to be working on Back office operations.
My team leader was such a motherfucking asshole!! He rarely ever worked, always came late and gave all his work to the asskissers in the team. He used to drink in his car during breaks and also leave before anyone. The only positive was he didn't give a shit about who took leaves and when.
Once he came to office drunk and warned me of getting me fired, which he never could. I probably felt like ripping him off then and there and escalating it to the HR.
I didn't. As Karma would have it, his manager changed and the moron had to get his team changed.
Last few months have been quite calm. Nothing to really rant about. The egocentric asshole PM (see my past rants) left the company, so things have been better at work. I thought that there would be so much chaos because of all the roles that he had (project manager, engineering manager, lead developer, dev ops) but we managed to keep things running smoothly, which shouldn't have been a surprise for me, but I was a bit scared at first. Relieved, because well... the egocentric asshole left, but a bit scared either way. Anyway, everything has been fine. I'm pretty much the lead frontend developer now, even tho there's no official structure or hierarchy, everyone just keeps looking up to me for help and guidance. I've received a good pay raise. Work has been interesting and challenging. All's well.
This all coincided with me deciding to take a little break from devrant, and the lack of ranting material kept me from coming back. I just dropped by to say hello and check how devrant is going. I hope you are all doing well :)3
Today is the dealine for the project. Monday is D-day basically. WHY is the manager now asking to see me code? I don’t need any more stress then i already have.
Asshole, I told you if i’ll do it your way we’ll have responsive issues. Now deal with it you f*ckhead
Was an internal auditor translating department process to a technical spec for a programmer. We were going to leverage an external company's API which would replace our need to use their slow and buggy web app.
During a meeting, an audit teammate suggested something be changed with the external service we were using. I said we could bring it up with the company but we shouldn't rely on it because we were a small customer even during out busiest month (200 from us vs 10000+ from big banks).
Teammate said we should have our programming team fix it. I made it clear that it was not our side and that to build out the service on our side was beyond our scope. Teammate continued to bring it up during the meeting then went back to desk after meeting and emailed us all marked up screenshots of the feature.
I ignored this and finished writing up the specs, sending them over to the programmer building out the service.
30 minutes later I get a call from programmer's manager who was quite angry at an expanded scope that was impossible (engineers were king at this company. Best not to anger them). Turns out my teammate had emailed his own spec to the programmers full of impossible features that did not reference the API docs.
I feel bad about it now but I yelled at my teammate quite loudly. I said he was spending time on something that was not reasonable or possible and when they continued to talk about their feature I yelled even louder.
Didn't get fired but it definitely tagged me as an asshole until I left. Fair enough :)
Rant && Question
My asshole manager got me shifted from a better team back to my original team. I didn't have any problems in that.
But now when our QA team has also completely resigned, he wants me to work both as dev as well as QA. I joined at a developer position.
All seniors in my team (Tech lead, product manager) are technichaly incompetent.
I am a fresher and don't have any other offers as of now, don't know what to do?2
There was this one dude interviewing to be a manager at my work. He was a friend of the head of IT at the time since he probably would have gotten the job. We still gave him a little coding test anyway.
He turned in just a demo and vid if it working but no code. Looked good, but something was off. One of our senior devs looked into more and found out he just paid for WordPress plugins to do everything. So we then asked for the code to make sure and yep, he paid $20 to try to get the job. Because of the friend thing mentioned earlier, he got a second chance, but on site to prove he wouldn't cheat.
He had an hour to make a simple contact app. So, super basic crud was all that's necessary. Hour was up so we went to see what he got done. Just one super basic HTML form and an attempt at the post. Nothing was saving to the database though.
He thought that if you tried to insert columns that weren't there, that MySQL would make those columns for you.
Also, the entire time he showed us he was clicking all over the form and highlighting everything. He never highlighted what he was talking about either, just random shit.
So then he left and we all met up to discuss how he did. I tore him a new asshole (to find out he was my bosses friend after the fact, pretty sure). We didn't hire him, and instead we now have the coolest PM ever.
I don't know if there's a moral to the story, but.. just don't be dumb I guess.1
Manager comes to co-worker, looking like he's in a hurry for a feature to be done...
Manager: Did you finish?
Manager: what were you working on?
Co-worker, me, everyone in that room: 🤨
I think he just grew a habit of being a rushing asshole that he doesn't even notice what he's in a rush for anymore