It happened.

I wrote "you're missing a tab in your python code" as an answer on StackOverflow.

I was downvoted AND told that I wasn't correct: it was missing 4 spaces and not a tab, according to the python guidelines.

Now, I haven't read them, but my Richard Hendrix fucking intensifies.

Fuck spaces. And if python guidelines talk about spaces, fuck python guidelines too!

So I just got rejected for a job for being too introverted.

They were very impressed with my advanced and broad technical knowledge but they said I'm "too introverted to hang out with cool, young people". That's ageism and that's illegal. Anyway.

I have more knowledge than most senior specialist devs (I've worked with them and I know them) but just because I'm a reserved and thinking person, I'm not welcome in this society of idiots and I don't get a job.

Two words: fuck society.

YELLED AT FOR 45 FUCKING MINUTES OVER OTHER PEOPLE’S FUCKUPS

IF YOU PIECES OF SHIT WANT ME TO DO SOMETHING, FUCKING SAY IT. WRITE IT THE FUCK DOWN IN THE FUCKING TICKET.

AND IF YOU WANT A FUCKING DEMO, SCHEDULE THE FUCKING THING, AND STOP FUCKING CANCELING THEM. DON’T BLAME ME WHEN IT’S YOUR FUCKING FINGER ON THE FUCKING CANCEL BUTTON EVERY. FUCKING. WEEK.

AND SERIOUSLY, DON’T FUCKING EXPECT ME TO DROP MY LAST FUCKING TICKET THE AFTERNOON BEFORE VACATION FOR SOME LOW-PRIOIRTY CRAP BECAUSE SUDDENLY IT’S ALL THE RAGE INSIDE YOUR TINY DUMBASS HEAD. BUT OH BOO FUCKING HOO, @ROOT DIDN’T DO WHAT I ASKED WHEN I WAS BEING A FUCKING MORON! GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU FUCKING STUCK-UP IDIOT

AND FUCK BOZO THE CLOWN BOSS FOR BLAMING ME FOR THE FUCKING IDIOT’S BRUISED FUCKING EGO

FUCK THE LOT OF YOU

So because of the sheer number of interviews I’ve been doing I’m starting to get a bit brazen with them since I’ve started to really not give a fuck about most of them and I’ve started to notice patterns in common lines of questioning resulting in this unexpected gem today:

Interviewer: So we always start our devs off on the bottom end of our salary band.

Dev: Either give me the top or I’m not interested.

Interviewer: 😡. But if we start you at the top of the salary band we’ll have nothing to give you later. 🥺.

Dev: No need, I’ll take the money up front. Companies don’t give raises these days anyway, it’s just a carrot to dangle in front of the naive.

Interviewer: 😡. Well if all you care about is money so focussed on money you’ll just leave if a better offer comes around!

Dev: All the more reason to give me the highest number possible to defend against that possibility.

Interviewer: 😡. But there are other devs on the team with similar experience that will be making less than you.

Dev: Sounds like they fell for the negging and guilt tripping you are currently attempting on me in order to save a buck. Salary is not based on your skills or experience anymore, it’s based on your ability to negotiate. Here’s mine.

Interviewer: ………………. I’ll pass you along to the hiring manager.

Dev: ???? wtf

HOW THE FUCK DID THAT ACTUALLY WORK ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME I WAS TRYING TO GET THEM TO HANG UP FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES AND NOW I’M LOOKING AT A 20K RAISE ALL BECAUSE I CONTINUALLY TOLD THEM TO GO FUCK THEMSELVES??? THIS IS ACTUALLY WHAT IT TAKES TO BE TREATED PROPERLY BY A COMPANY???

Fucking fuck.
Females in QA always use a hand lotion or a creme, so every damn door handle and every test device is constantly oily and moist.

I've told them multiple times that it needs to stop but they only told me I was pathetic (maybe I am), now finally few others also started noticing that any phone in their hand slips away every time.

Even after using a restroom and grabbing the doorknob of our office I need to go back, wash my hands again and then open the door with a napkin.

I hate dirty things and ignorant coworkers who don't give a fuck about others. I'll start wearing gloves probably.

I hate this attitude of my study (when i studied):

"it might be a good idea to teach the students how to program securely by default?"

"oh no but we just want to teach them the basics"

"so why not the secure basics by default?!"

"nah we just want them to get started and understand it, that's all. We'll get to the secure way later on"

Well, fuck you.

I got fired.

Worst job I ever had, they extended my probation period, called me "over maintenance", said my work was good but not good enough for the effort, If I take a lot of care doing my work then it's "over preparation", if not good enough then it's "not detailed enough", I don't ask enough questions? I must be unmotivated, I ask too many? I take up too much of other people's time.

Fuck them all. I hope they get a taste of their own medicine.

Skipping all the "Women in IT" sessions my company tries to enforce, along with ditching such questions like "What attrocities did I experience related to my gender, during my first month of working here?"

Well, fuck, we are few, all right. But can I just be a dev instead of a girl dev, please?

I discussed this whole feminism trend with many of the women colleagues, but not one of them could mention a case where they were distinguished by their gender. Ever.

Headphones are in, colleague calls my name, I take them out a little annoyed at the interruption.

Colleague: what did one window say to the other?
Me: you're such a pane you know that?
Colleague: no but fuck! That's better

Finally decided to quit from my current job. Fuck it. They still don't understand that an estimate is an approximation. They still don't understand that I have to fix all the shit made by all the contractors they hire and pay much more than me to implement solutions that work only until they leave the building, something that many barely understand but pretend to be experts in. I quit because of the managers that have no clue about what's happening although I stress them to make changes.

Should I care less about the product an just ship shit? Should I just do my tasks first and stop really helping others but pretend to do so?

Fuck it. I've tried to get it right they want it wrong but in a nice box. I'm an engineer not a fucking magician.

I have multiple but one of my biggest ones:

Build an entire suite of services which can replace the popular Google/microsoft/facebook (etc) services.

Of course: privacy respecting, preferrably everything possible end-to-end encrypted.

Because fuck mass surveillance and those companies and if I can do anything to fuck them (quite literally) and help people getting to user friendly alternatives, I'll do the best I can.

Okay so about a year ago these FUKKING IDIOTS decides, against my recommendation, to do this quick-ugly-hack and ninja it into production.
I tell them its a FUCKING BAD idea that will blow up in a year or so...
But no, just go go go!!!!!!!

Now a year later, shit blew up badly. A total FUCKING derail. These new idiots asks me to "fix the problem", the same fucking problem I predicted and warned them about a year ago. So now i have to clean up their ducking mess because "Nobody else knows how to fix it".
What the FUCKING HELL do we pay them fuckkkers to do?!!

New idiots you ask? Yep, because 3 out of the 4 original fucktards already left the place in order to go and make some other new collegues lives fucking miserable.

FUCK YOU FUCKING MOOTHERFUUUKKKEEERRRRRSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Oh, I reverted your changes because I did not understand them"
I SPENT THE WHOLE DAY REFACTORING YOUR SHITTY SPAGUETTI SHIT U LAZY PIECE OF SHIT !
But I guess being a senior guy entitles u to sit your fat fuck ass in your chair writting garbage all day long.
Btw what he did not understand was f strings. In python. Srsly. How is that arrogant incompetent prick paid at least 10k more than me

got a mail 10 minutes after I finished a 10h shift that my contract won't be refreshed after 4 years ripping my ass off for this fucked up organization. apparently not because of lack of competence but of personal reasons. that's what you get for not being a sheep and having an opinion. my (ex)boss didn't even have the balls to say it to my face.
fuck them! I don't need people like that around me - neither in my spare time nor at work - and I wish them all the worst.
happy holidays motherfuckers!

Marketing wants to remove the word "sex" from one of my slide decks.

Fuck people who get outraged for others. They are making a bad situation much worse.

Yes, there are people who get triggered by the slightest thing---but those people are going to be triggered no matter what you do. And it seems to me that I'd not want to have them as customers anyway---massive support cost.

We are in danger of washing everything until it becomes an inoffensive shade of beige.

Why do the 99% have to be bored for the 1%?

It's not like I'm doing a live demo...yet...

So, fuck outrage by proxy. If you are personally outraged then say that. If not, shut the fuck up.

So the tax authorities in the Netherlands have this slogan that roughly translates to:
"We can't make it fun, but we can make it easier."

I'm not sure how this is going to be easy for me. This arrived in the mail today.
Even worse this is a fuck up from them. They are saying our company did not do it's taxes but when we log in their online portal we can see that we did them. But they are saying that they don't see it in their system.

Who build that system?

Trying to stay calm when they are claiming I own them more taxes then my company has earned in a year.

I did not have enough sleep for this drama.

By the way how about we save some trees and don't send 30 letters on 1 day.

I've recently red a blog post stating 'Google leaves x Million Android devices vulnerable to a new Exploit'
I don't really sympathize with Google, but it's simply the wrong message... It should be more like FUCK VENDORS, WHO WON'T SUPPLY UPDATES TO DEVICES OLDER THAN 1.5 YEARS
Seriously, it's them who make you stuck on outdated OS versions... Just imagine you could only install Windows Vista on your 2014 Lenovo ThinkPad, because it's considered outdated...
FUCK VENDORS (again, just in case)

!dev

I live next to a nightclub and went outside for a fag.

It’s wet, 2:30am and kinda cold.

A girl and her boyfriend come out of the club..
Her feet hurt because of her high heels so she takes them off, walking on the wet, cold road barefoot now.
Her boyfriend sees it and tells her to put them back on.
She denies.

He takes off his shoes and gives them to her (good boyfriend...) she puts them on, almost falling over cause she’s hammered as fuck, takes them off again and says they don’t fit and look stupid on her..

WTF, I understand taking the shoes off When she’s drunk but I don’t understand how the fuck she could care if it looks good at half 2 in the morning in an empty town..

I’ve seen it all now..

#onlyInIreland

So Pubs are open again I Ireland.. went to n that were all booked out.. but after 40min of wandering around I got a single corner in one of them.

Let me tell you one thing. You might pour good pints but NO ONE can serve a pint like an Irish pub. Soooo gooood and creamy.. fuck, i missed this.

Why... why the fuck do people write unit tests and then comment out the god damn fucking assertion lines....
Like what the flying fuck? Cool, we can get some code coverage marks but for fuck sake actually let your tests do their fucking job!!!

Oh, the asserts fail?
Well fucking sort that shit out instead of commenting them out.

I don't get it, if you're going to write tests, fucking test something with them, or we'd be better of without them.

Government Fucking Websites.

Slow as fuck, disorganized, errors from 2004, UI from 2001.

You have to use them at a time when you really don't feel like waiting 30 fucking seconds for each page load.

Or filling out a fucking form that, ok, they made SOME kind of attempt to save your data, but it's overly complex and annoying.

Government websites. Making tasks that should take 5 minutes, 5 hours, since 1998.

Assholes.

jQuery & Bootstrap

Not exactly fads but I'd like to take this opportunity to say fuck them.

Me: *opens up a test script*
> only http response code is checked

Me: hey, coleague from qa, why didn't you also write response body checks?

Col: I had then implemented but removed them later.

Me: ?? Why??

Col: because tests were failing

Crickets: *chirp chirp* .... *awkward pause* [in high pitched crickety voice] what the fuck?!?!

Our team changed to Linux about 3 years ago already and I can see some of them struggling to insert some commands when I'm talking to them.

How the fuck do you struggle to `cd` into a fucking directory?

Ok,ok... I've linuxing full time for 8 years already, I understand I've been through this... But come on! If some one said to me on day ONE "dude, you can cd /full/path/of/fucking/whatever" or " ~/ means home" I would be doing it from day one.

Probably I'm overreacting but wtf dudes? 3 years... Step up your game.

Another fucking rant about my fucking goldfish brain.

At meetings, I usually note down things I need to fix, to do on the sticky note pad that comes with the OS, currently Mint.

I sat at my desk.
Looked at my notes.
Decided to properly put them as tasks on trello.
I copied all notes, planning to paste it on a trello card quickly.
Then I can just work on trello and separate into different tasks.
Connection issue.
Ethernet said connected but websites are not showing up.
Maybe restart will fix since I haven't opened any app and started working anyway.
Reboot.
Internet works.
Yayyy.
Trello showed up.
Yayyy.
oooh
f
u
c
k.

fuck.
fuck.

Fuck all the companies that doesn't specify that they won't provide sponsorship for the applicant before job application.

I applied to this fucking piece of shit company that took me an hour. Created a custom cover letter and modified my CV just for them.

And they reply me with an email saying that they won't provide sponsorship and have rejected my application.

You motherfucker can refuse me in 5 minutes, but you piece of horseshit can't be bothered to write a simple point in your job description.

Fucking die in hell. Fuck you.

Ruby’s fanciness bit me in the butt today. It’s pretty rare, but often confusing AF when it happens.

array = [1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7]
array.count +1 +2
# => 1
What the fuck?

array.count +1 +2 +3
# => 1
What the fuck?

+1 +2 +3
# => 6
Okay.

(array.count +1 +2 +3)
# => 1
What the fuck?

(7 +1 +2 +3)
# => 13
Okay...

array.count + 1 + 2 + 3
# => 13
Alright, so spaces matter here...?

((array.count) +1 +2 +3)
# => 13
But not here!? ... Oh. I think I know what’s going on.

Array#count
Returns the number of elements. If an argument is given, counts the number of elements which equal it using ==

Well fuck me.

Ruby is seeing `array.count(+1+2+3)` instead of `array.count()+1+2+3` since `+1` is a value, not an operator followed by a value as is the case with `+ 1`.

Now, why was I using +1 +2 instead of adding some spaces like I normally would? So they would match what was in the comment next to them for easier reference. Heh.

Future dev, I did this for you! So this is all your fault. :|

Omg GuyZ I am looking tp CreAte the NeXt fb!! whAt shOulD I Use? (not php lol fuck php amirite) AnD use machiNe leArninG with nodE tO drive flying cArZ

btw I am from <completely isolated and technology ignored country> but i am l337 af! I don't know about html, css, server administration or even basic sql

WHERE SHOULD I START!!

Signed: account user with -5 points, not that it matters at all.

Y'all wanna know what is more fucking annoying than those morons? you dickwads trying to teach them shit or having arguments with them.

So I bought myself some computer glasses after feeling uncomfortable looking at a screen with "bare" eyes (I don't wear corrective glasses).

But the other day, I lost them.

I looked for them everywhere, under each grain of dust I could find. They were nowhere to be found.

Reluctantly, I bought new ones. They arrived today, I unpack them, test them, and then do some flat cleaning. I lift some envelope and...

My first pair was sitting there, innocently.

Fuck me.

You know, I am getting really fucking irate posting them rants about how shitty my job is.

I'm more than fucking competant, but this company is turning me into a blithering, raging, frothing maniac.

I am sitting doing my devOps at the moment. On top of that I am the network admin, the sys admin, the sec admin, the fucking fuck admin (you get the point) and now I am being told to go out and work in the field because "The technician is busy with calls, and doesn't have time". These calls are ALL FUCKING PRINTER CALLS. SET UP USERS TO PRINT AND FUCKING SCAN.

I am not being a shithead by saying no. I have spent the last year or so doing favours for these bastards, I don't get any compensation in any form for it, and it is just making my life hell. The reason I went into devOps is so that I don't have to fucking deal with shit like this. I spent years in the field, and I fucking hated it. I was good at what I did, but I fucking hated it.

Now I am back there. They earn more than i do, those printer techs, but I am doing their fucking work for them. I have even made them simple little fucking scripts so that 90% of their work is done in two clicks.

Fucksakes. Now my motherfucking right shift key doesn't want to operate properly. Been using this keyboard for about 6 years now, and now it decides to fuck out. Fuck.

As standing, I am fucking sick and fucking tired. I am drinking energy drinks and mass amounts of coffee just to stay functional (because I sit up until 12AM trying to get through all my work - everyday of the week). Reported to tech director, doesnt give a single fuck. "Stick around, things will get better".

Yeah, fuck you.

Seriously thinking about freelancing.

Don't know if it pays well though.

So I landed this interview with a company that provided military simulations, to work as an android intern (mobile). And man was I intent on getting it, I could only dream of my first job being as a dev, for a company that developed cool software. 😯

I show up, pull out my laptop, go over some of my projects (crap at the time, since I was 16, but ChessAI ftw) and also show them an android app I developed.

Then, I pulled out my calculator and showed them a clock I'd made on it. That's probably when I lost them... ☹️

They asked me a couple questions about software development, like if I knew what agile was, or if I unit tested my code (didn't even know they existed at the time ☹️ ) , etc.

I had done research on the company and asked them questions about specific software and so on, also asked about what working there would look like, etc.

They never called.

I called.

They never answered.

😭

Ended up washing dishes. Honestly, fuck my life.

(Best read while listening to AEnima by Tool, loudly)

Dear Current Workplace,

Fuck you, for the reasons enumerated below.

Fuck your enterprise grey blue offices, the stifling warm air of a hundreds of bodies and sub par "development laptops".

Fuck your shitty carbonated water machines which were a cost saving measure over decent drinkable water.

Fuck your fake "flexi time", "you can do home office whenever you want" bullshit. You're still inviting me to mandatory meetings at 09:00 regularly.

Fuck your shitty, in house, third part IT provider sister company. They're the worst of all worlds. If it was in company, we'd get to give out to them, if it was an external company we'd fire them. And yes, when I quit I will quote the dumpster fire that is our corporate VPN as a major factor.

Fuck your cheery, bland, enterprise communication. Words coming under the corporate letterhead seem to lose all association with meaning. Agile, communication, open are things you write and profess to respect, but it seems your totally lack understanding of their meaning.

Fuck your client driven development. Sometime you actually have to fix the foundations before you can actually add new features. And fuck you management who keep on asking "why are there so many bugs and why is it always taking longer to deliver new releases". Because of you, you fucknuts, Because you can't say "NO" to the customer. Because you never listen to your own experienced developers.

Fuck your bullshit "code quality is important to us" line. If it's so important, then let us fix the heap of shit you're selling so that it works like a quasi functional program.

Fuck you development environment which has 250 projects in a single VS solution. Which takes 5mins plus to compile on a quad core i7 with 32 gb of ram.

Fuck this bullshit ball of mud "architecture". I spend most of my time trying to figure out where the logic should go and the rest of the time writing converters between different components. All because 7 years ago some idiot "architect" made a decision that they didn't have to live with.

Actually, fuck that guy in particular. Yeah, that guy who was the responsible architect for the project for 4 years and not once opened the solution to look a the code.

Fuck the manual testing of every business process. Manual setup of the entities takes 10mins plus and then when you run, boom either no message or some bullshit error code.

Fuck the antiquated technology choices which cause loads of bugs and slow down development. Fuck you for forcing me to do manual tests of another developers code at 20:00 on a Friday night because we can't get our act together to do this automatically.

Fuck you for making sure it's very clear I'm never going to be anything but a code monkey in this structure. Managers are brought in from outside.

Fuck you for being surprised that it's hard to hire competent developers in this second rate, overpriced town. It's hard to hire anywhere but this bland shithole would have anyone with half a clue running away at top speed.

Fuck you for valuing long hours and loyalty over actual performance. That one guy who everyone hated and was totally incompetent couldn't even get himself fired. He had to quit.

Fuck you for your mediocrity.

Fuck you for being the only employer for my skill-set in the region; paying just well enough that changing jobs locally doesn't make sense, but badly enough that it's difficult to move.

Fuck you for being the stable "safe" option so that any move is "risky".

Fuck your mediocrity.

Fuck you for being something I think about when I'm not at work. Not only is it shit from 9 to 5 you manage to suck the joy out of everything else in my life as well?

Fuck you for making me feel like a worse developer every day I work here. Fuck you for making every day feel like a personal and professional failure. Fuck you for making me seriously leave a career I love for something, anything else.

Fuck you for making the most I can hope for when I get up in the morning is to just make it until the night.

Excuse the blurry picture, but this shit makes me angry.

Both this sticks has the same modelnumber/productnumber, but the tiny text to the right is important to! I cant find any information regarding thoose sticks about there is actually two version of them! $150 down the drain. Fuck it

I had plugged in my Android phone to the PC, browsed files from internal storage, Ctrl + X'ed some files from there, Ctrl + V'ed them to the desktop. Nothing special.

Bang. Files travelled to another dimension, absolutely gone from the original location, with no trace or them or any notification.

Who thought it would be a good idea to delete stuff before making sure it's been successfully transfered first?

Fuck you Windows.

Also, hello, its my first rant but I've been lurking devRant for a while now. Loving it here.

For fuck sake, stop complaining about the lack of privacy everywhere.
I'm not saying that worrying about your privacy is bad, I also really want to be protected and I know the risks we run when put our information on the net, I care about my data, but please stop acting like whoever uses Google, Facebook or Windows is a fool and you're the only genius around.

Because guess, I use their services and when I use them I'm explicitly authorizing them to process my data, to track me and to create a profile about me. It's an exchange, I know what they're doing and I've control on the data I'm serving them.

If, for some reason, I want to be more protected then I fucking use some open source iper-safe alternative, and that's it.

Seriously, I'm happy if you use those fancy alternative services for everything (for your reasons, I don't care) and I'm glad if you decided to don't use any closed source service anymore, but please, stop screaming against who uses them

the effort to get girls, and children for that matter into programming has been terrible. I never thought I could find something worse than code.org, but here it is: SmartGurlz (because what could be smarter than spelling your own gender wrong, right?). this was on shark tank and this lady was making robots to try to get girls into programming. they pretty much control dolls on wheels by means of scratch. it's terrible. first of all, how the fuck is that profitable? when a little girl wants to play dolls, what kind of girl wants to *program* it first. jesus, no kid wants that.

second, this girls who code thing makes me barf. the thought process for many organizations trying to push girls to code is "hmm, if we isolate girls and give them lower standards, then maybe they'll decide to go into a male-dominated industry," because, fuck logic right? idiocy is dreadful. lastly, what I hate most about so many of the girls coding organizations, is the fact that they have to embrace the stereotypes. almost every single one cares about "feelings" or something similar. its bullshit.

and don't get me wrong, women should have equal opportunity, but pushing them into stem fields isn't good. bias in the workplace is what we should be talking about, or other topics like women being paid less. trying to make girls interested in programming is complete bullshit, let them do what they want.

back to "SmartGurlz," I looked them up and they confirmed what I expected. the first thing I see? not anything related to programming whatsoever, but different dolls wearing different outfits. girls deserve something better, and shouldn't have to deal with organizations trying to push them into something they don't want to do.

>Someone opens issue
>Am in school
> Opens Git(Nyan)Hub
>Sees Issue
>"yOuR pRoJeCt hAs a CopYrIghTeD nAmE"
>does not seem to be the case, we're a OSS project and the fact you can't copyright names but trademark them

>Me: "When there's a legal issue, open it up on email than on a issue, and your shit is invalid as well, fuck you."

> Closes and Locks issue

Welp, that's a wasted 2 minutes right there homes

Keep in mind I even asked a lawyers' statement from the company that this concerns them. Fucking FUD tactics again by some random

Let's add the fact there was NO DMCA from the mentioned plaintiff. Wow. just fucking wow dude.

What the fuck is wrong with me??

So many projects, but didn't finish them at all 🙇🤦🏼‍♀️

Make your cookies banner have equal "Accept All" and "Reject All" buttons, and I'll probably Accept All.

Bury rejection under a fucking "Manage Cookies" button and I will go out of my way to disable/opt out of every fucking one of them.

Also why the fuck would rejecting all take "a few minutes" but accepting be instantaneous?

Fucking hell.

This rant goes to my best friend.

Fuck you!

You do not fucking argue with people for doing what they like! So what if I want to use linux? What fucking problem does that make? Am I now a hacker fanboy for wanting to use a terminal instead of fucking pointing and clicking on shit like a monkey? Am I not allowed to want my privacy and free open-source? What? I shouldn't browse internet without getting my personal info stolen? Oh, they're tracking criminals? Then why don't you install a camera in your fucking living room so you can help them out? And don't fucking get me started on why I don't want to use Windows 10.

Fuck fucking fuck fuck. I know he's a good friend but this fucking shit gets my blood boiling.

!dev but definitely rant

Here's a fucking thought:
How is holding women over different standards at events and (non-physical) competitions (hackathons especially, somehow) NOT widely considered sexist? I don't even mean towards men - yes, of course.
But also towards women: By preferring their results in some competitions in order to "support them", you implicitly degrade them to be small children in need for praise. You imply that you expect them to perform worse. By "women-first" PR bullshit, you do what you claim to be against. Fuck you.

Why can't we just hold everyone to the same fucking standards? Women can be just as good in tech as men, when interested. I would even make a point that these different standards hold back women from trying to get into any tech-related career.

A client literally just told us "I don't wanna be telling you what I want / require / need. I just want you to give me the best you got."

Like wtf.

The worst thing is they've got but loads of money so we really have to take them serious. They were born rich and probably had a servant as a child who did everything for them without them asking to, and they'll continue to get away with it because they'll continue to be rich and there'll be people like us trying to kiss their ass for some of that money. I hate myself for doing it. They want a system to basically spy on their customers, and I'm a huge advocate of privacy, but I'll still do it for the money. Fuck this world.

Where the fuck my privacy go?

I'm paying you to listen to music or watch films, I don't want you to create a damm profile my taste or "learn" what might like.

If it was a free service, fine, I'd understand, but I am fucking pying you. I should have the option to completely disable your arse sniffing software.

I know some of them provide a "private mode", but I want that to be the default, I am paying for the god damn service :/

Holy fuck I did it. I convinced my non tech manager not to do code QA after he brought the whole system down approving things without testing them and getting devs to make changes that caused bugs. Don’t get me wrong he threatened to fire me twice during the conversation but I dunno…I think I’m just about ready for my second dev job anyway ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

!rant;

I'm so sad today. I completely lost my confidences in what I do. I recently I created an app , spent 72 hours doing that , made the app as simple as possible, The intention is clear , to help those who are in need during this pandemic.

Recently my country have the campaign (initiate by the people) raising white flags for help (food, financial help). Since our government begin to arrest those who raise their flag for help and summoned them for MYR 3000 .

So I thought making a platform where people can raise their flag digitally might be easy, but I go rejected .

Well in Malaysia, No one give a fuck about you unless you are a celebrity . Sometimes I wish I am , therefore I do changes. But unfortunately I am just a 25 year old self taught software engineer but not someone with PHD or fame .

Fuck me.

my mind is multithreaded but can not physically execute more than one thread at a time.

i.e. i want to say 5 sentences in the same time bc im too lazy to wait and say them one by one after a specified delay of time, so i fuck myself over while speaking.

like atomic regions, i bust a few words from time to time from different sentences i have in mind and it ends up not making any sense to what im saying, but it does in my head.

so this is what too much covfefe and sleepless coding nights does to people

Today I learned in a cafe why (some) users think that Facebook doesn't allow them data control. Due to drunkness I'm paraphrasing here, but it went something like this:

- I don't trust Facebook, because my posts that I make are visible to people that I didn't want to have it be seen to.

> Audience controls. Use them.

- This guy in town sent me a friend request, why would he be able to??1!1

> He and you share hometown. So probably friend suggestions based on you both explicitly sharing location, or he just visited your profile on name and wanted to get in touch with you. Socializing on the internet, it exists.

That's the kind of user that's roaming the facebooks on the internets and the googles I guess? The type of user that's surprised that their Facebook games and nametests expose information that they explicitly consent to? Give me a break. I care deeply about privacy, but this is just ridiculous.

On a different note, why the fuck is not a single one of those very same fucking Facebook users worried about 25-ish% of websites running their JavaScript (which you can check and block using NoScript and co.), which is the *actual* privacy threat? But muh nametests!!!

Fuck ignorant users!!!

Client : We need real time analysis.

Me : But we can't just scrape thousands of results and process them on user's click.

Client : Don't do that, Real-time analysis is scraping it once and processing it everytime the user demands.

Me : Okay

WHAT THE FUCK !!!!!

Karma Story

2 motherfuckers that were absolute shit as managers applied for a position for the web tech manager at my institution. I was the one that Xed both their applications.

Now, I didn't do it out of pettiness, I did it because both of these assholes lied about their positions, responsibilities and knowledge.
One of them washed his hands on a project stating that he had no knowledge of web development, but stated on his resume that he was working as a web dev at the time(in node and asp.net) as well as angular frontends <--- fking bullshit

The other stated that he has been coding all his life. Yeah shitbag, that is why you were selling phones at a company and when i mentioned to you that i studied comp sci you said that it sounds interesting but you had no idea what development is or how computers even work.

There were many. Might say fuck it and just take the position for myself. Shit got funny af and it is amazing how being a shit person and a liar will get back to you and bite you in the ass.

Fuck them

I am the sole frontend developer in my project. I have only 6 months of professional coding experience. Just got a call from a person who used to lead me (she is still my lead, technically, but not very much involved in the dev process (management’s decision, not hers)).

She said that a concern has been raised that there have been large number of frontend issues which they (she didn’t specify, I am guessing management) haven’t seen before.

What do you think is the “large number”? Let me tell you. It’s 4.

2 of which are minor CSS issues that couldn’t have been anticipated while coding. They are runtime issues.

One of the 4 is a both frontend and backend issue.

And the last one is a fucking change request!

1 player, many responsibilities, slight issues, RAISE CONCERN - That’s management for you.

Fuck them, I guess.

On top of that, a concern I raised in front of the management regarding the management is not so much of a priority for them. I have a feeling that the concern they raised is just them being a jerk because I raised a concern in the first place.

Fuck them, again!

And again!

WELL FUCK YOU REDDIT, I TRY NOT TO ADBLOCK YOU BUT NOW YOU START WITH THE AUTO PLAY ADS WITH NO WAY TO MUTE OR PAUSE THEM? FUCK YOU!

What the fuck is wrong with web designers these days?

Every fucking web page is white with black text. It's 2022, let's stop this paper bullshit and change everything to use colors that make sense on screens.

For fuck sakes, even monokai.pro is black on white. You know monokai, that dark colorful color scheme that most editors support. With a black background and white text.

I'm nursing the worst migraine in the world right now and all I want to do is smash people's faces into these shitty white screens.

It wouldn't be so bad if these fuckers would have a dark mode, but 80% of the documentation that I have to read doesn't support dark mode. Yeah I know about the browser plugins that do it for you, but I honestly don't trust any of them since most of them have been found to be spyware.

I’m dealing with the worst client I’ve ever had. The project has gone on for way longer than it should, mainly because of them adding a tonne of features to the scope. I should have told them to fuck off but I felt sorry for them because COVID was hitting them hard. So I put in a lot of extra unpaid work to try and get them through it and now they repay me by asking for a refund because they’re now broke?

They blame me for their now being broke when it’s clear they’re broke because of COVID absolutely decimating the restaurant industry. They say that because it took so long to add all those extra unlaid features it’s now my fault?

All this just as I’ve finished the app and am going through the process of releasing it to the stores. I’m probably going to have to take them to court to even get my pay out of them... Thats if they even have money to pay now.

I’ve spent all year trying to get this app out the door only for them to turn around and start abusing me on the phone when things start going down hill for them.

This whole project has been a complete waste of time when I could have been focusing on clients that don’t treat me like shit.

What the fuck??!?!?
I wanna say :-
Fuck!!! What the fuck a sex robot is?!?? Fuck???
Lets leave this planet here humans are thinking to make a sex robot(fuck! ) who can say no fuck?!?!?! Later they will file rape case for humans who tried to force their robot. FUCKING FUCK BRAINS?!?!?

Full answer: -
A lot of ethicists and psychologists think that yes, they should learn to say no. Here is an interesting article about it:

Should We Program Sex Robots to Give Consent?

I agree with Kate Darling, Ph.D., a research specialist and robot-human interaction expert at MIT Media Lab, told Inverse in a discussion about Westworld, when she says she isn’t concerned about the robots, but with human behavior.

However, when I’ve expressed these feelings on Quora, about this controversy I was downvoted and my answer collapsed because people got offended that I made the claim that an object (the robot) could be ‘raped,’ even after I clarified exactly what I meant by that- that no you cannot rape an object, but just as an object cannot consent, you may be enacting ‘rape’ or torture fantasies, etc., on the robot. I think I was downvoted because my point of view wasn’t exactly what they wanted to hear, was too blunt, and the people who downvote opinions that may look more negatively at the sex robot industry typically aren’t feminists in the slight.

It seems a lot of people want the right to use sex robots and also that a lot of people haven’t really thought about it too deeply. Some people say that the robots will relieve women from sex work or protect people from sexual assault, I think these are very bold claims. Some people compare the sex robots to vibrators or other masturbation tools, but this is simply not accurate because sex robots are designed to be much more. They are marketed as companions that do not cry, nag, etc. People that own them often may dress them, tie them up, have marriage ceremonies, etc., a lot more activities than they would if it was a simple masturbation tool.

Glad someone is suing them. Why the fuck would apple treat devs like shit. Why do you want 30% of every penny I make? Then why the fuck do I have to pay you $100 every year? And what about not allowing me to choose my own payment system? Some are understandable but you still can't threaten to remove app from store if the dev don't want to do what's profitable for you.

So many examples of victims - Hey, Spotify and there's a ton of independent devs out there who have been exploited so far.

Your platform is attractive to users because of those thousands of devs who build apps despite your greedy policies, so fucking treat them with respect.

It's starting again. I can feel it.

You had a decent job, but you had to think otherwise. Then you had to go to that coffee shop tell some people you're the fucking bee's knees, didn't you?

Well, you know that's how the band plays.

Yeah, but now you'll have to live up to the hype, my friend. And you know pretty well that the pocketknife on your belt won't cut it anymore.

I can always learn as I go...

Sure you can. Except this time stakes are higher. They'll be expecting you to deliver on all your bloody greatness. They'll be relying on you. Not only them, but also the person who chose to be with you. And you know you're not enough, for neither of them. Now you'll fuck it up and let all those people down.

But I could build things little by little, lay out a solid groundwork and build up from that. Just like that other time when...

Of course you can. But can you make beautiful sparkly things? Can you make them sexy?

No... But I can make them resilient. I can follow best practices and intelligent design patterns.

Right. Cause design patterns win contests and prizes. Sure.

Well, it'll make things work better. And then when someone else comes along...

They'll say your work smells and let everybody know how it should've been done, because they need to prove themselves. You know that's what people do.

But that's just not fair! Solid work is solid work!

And a fraud is still a fraud. And that's what you are.

Some people in my company wants reports in excel but doesn't know how to use filter. Their daily job requires them to have excel knowledge. What the fuck is happening over here. Motherfuck!

I love beer. I like trying things out of my comfort zone. German and Belgian beers are absolutely delish, them mfkers know how to make a good brew. I also like my Japanese and Mexican beers, and even though europeans shit on them all the time, there are tons of American brands I love.

But......for the life of me.....every IPA I take tastes like fucking dishwater soap. From artisanal to regular market brands, everything in between. Fuck me man I can't stand the taste.

Anyone feels the same?

I never thought I'd say this but I fucking hate my cousins and relatives.

Money and fame hungry people, constantly judging and excluding if you are not 'cool' enough. Give them attention, obey their orders, spend your money on them if you want to be considered human by them.

They spend 24x7 of their on Instagram with all their activities and gatherings revolving around the core idea of taking pictures and showcasing on Instagram.

All of them have inherited a fuck ton of fortune from their parents and live to spend. Nothing else in their life.

Their ideology is everyone should spend all their money and even if you have $5 in your savings, you are miser.

Cousins and relatives have bullied so much in my childhood that I had to go for therapy before I stabilised a little. They still fuck around and use me.

Now that I am living a better life than what I used to, they have started mocking my parents for it by shaming and excluding them from the family.

Not only I never wished ill but I prayed for their good health and success all my life. But all they did was neglect and ignore me.

Fucking blood sucking bastards. I still don't wish bad but I never thought I'd see this day where I'd hate them so much.

As I have worked really hard for my current life, because unlike them I had no fortune to be inherited, they pick some weak aspect of my life and poke it continuously to the point that it hurts me.

I never felt so alone. If not for my parents, I'd cut off all the times with such scums and move out for a better life with new people in life.

FUCK Y.O.U. windows 10 for making my pc not recognize mics on the front port.
Seriously i usually dont mind windows that much but really ?! Oh hello i noticed you changed your os version THEN LET ME FUCK UP YOUR DRIVERS SO YOU FEEL LIKE A RETARD NOT BEING ABLE TO TALK.
Worst is i feel like an idiot because i have no idea how to fix this shit apart from buying a new PC, aaaaand im pretty sure while trying to fix it i made it worse
FUCK IM A SCRUB. FUCK PEOPLE ON INTERNET AND THEM "It works". NO IT DOESNT !
And now i feel like a worthless dev because of w105

I thought I'd opened every shitty type of Chinese-grade electronics by now. Glued in shit, ultrasonically welded shit, potted shit. And occasionally the now very rare piece of electronics that has actual screws.

Until now. Remington, apparently yet another company filled with certified enganeers. My razor is from them, and I wanted to open it up to see why the lithium cell inside was failing, and to replace it with a bigger one. 2 screws in the back of the unit, Phillips head. But holy fuck, those things sat in there more tightly than the glory hole of the Asian girl that probably assembled this thing. Externalizing our own features in our craft? Check!

Pretty hard to remove them but that's fine. But the unit didn't open up, and there seems to be no screws left. I guess that they leveled up their level of certified enganeering and actually used both screws and ultrasonic welding. Because why wouldn't you, right?!

Motherfuckers.

Fuck safari literally nothing does what it's supposed to do, I have a `document.getElementById('x').innerText = "hello there"` but it sets a totally different element to that text, this is apparently because of display: none although JS should NOT look at css wtf.

There's a whole bunch of these issues but I won't rant about them until I've solved them so I can fully explore the depth of stupidity in safari. If you work for apple and developed WebCore or WebKit, I'm sorry but I hate you and you would be better off shipping with lynx.

Bought a series on Amazon, "Normal People". Trailer was English, my profile is set to Germany/English, but when I started the film, it was the German dubbing audio, with no option to switch to English. Could be worse, as I am a native German, but often 80% of the original atmosphere of anything gets lots by translation and German studio speakers.

Just in case staff at Amazon wonder why I rarely watch nor buy anything from them, this is one of the reasons. Of course they wouldn't, I'm just one in a million customers, but fuck them anyway.

So I had this conversation with my boss yesterday...

Me: Hey, I found this bug in the other team's code that has a major impact on what we're trying to do. Can you ask them to look into it?

Boss: No, I don't want to be the one who has to tell them there's a major bug in their code. Find a workaround.

M: But... It isn't really a major bug, it just has a big impact on our side of things.

B: Workaround!

Fuck bosses who value how they think they look to other devs over a day of my time. Fuck.

Germans get made fun of for being focused on work and not wanting to have fun (at work).

But it's exactly what I like about them. I would join and work at a German company in a split second.

Fuck all the small talks and fun Fridays, let's just get the work done, get paid and go home and have fun at home.

So I’ve been working for this company for +4 years. When I started we were 6 dev. Now we are 1. It’s just me. Thankfully I’m leaving next week to start at another company. But right now I’m kinda loosing my mind. I have a deadline tomorrow and I’m super stressed because I’m not done. I have bugs to fix, documentation to write and all that stuff. I’m pissed off because people don’t understand what I do, why it takes time, why I want to be alone at home just coding instead of sitting at the office being interrupted with stupid ass questions about html or upcoming project. I don’t give a fuck about their clients or upcoming projects. I’m only working for them 7 more days and then they have 0 dev left. Fuck them. Fuck the CEO, fucking piece of shit. Can’t wait to flip them off leaving next week.

What the fuck? Calling someone by Mr {name} or Mrs {name} is impolite and insulting? But when I call them by their name, they say I am disrespectful.

So how am I addressing you then ?
"hey you " <- like this?

What the fuck?

I fucking hate MS Teams!

I do not use it at all, but there is another company of our group that has it. At the beginning, I could just access the website and talk to them over there. Ok, the page was not good, but that used to work for me.

The last meeting I had with them, the web version did not exist anymore, they just made me install the app. Luckily there is an official Linux version, so I could install it. I got late to the meeting, but could make it.

Today I had a meeting with a client. Important stuff and Teams did not let me use it because I had no business account with Teams enabled on it.

I've tried to use one of my personal accounts, to create a new one, to enable Teams, I've clicked, enabled, allowed every single thing they asked, but I ended up on the Teams home page again or with Teams asking me to call people on Skype instead of using Teams.

I've managed to create a company on Microsoft account on which I had to be responsible to my workers (!?!?!?) and it finally opened the Teams app, but when I try to enter the client meeting link, it just opens the app with no error message at all.

Fuck Teams and fuck Microsoft!

My small robot family at an convention of the company I'm working at. We're evaluating how we can use robots in banking. Maybe some day we can put them into a real bank office, but the path is tough because robots sometimes have there own mind and not giving a fuck about what I program them to do...

I was trying to understand the source code of aircrack-ng which is written in C today.
Suddenly I saw sth strange !
WTF !! what is #ifdef ??? I've never seen that before !
So I told myself : hey ! You have to download a complete C programming course!
so I did , but when I skimmed through the titles , again:
WTF ! I know all of them! So why the fuck I could not fully understand the code ? Where can I find anything I missed ?

So... I'm asking U :)

FUCK!
After submitting a registration form I noticed the site is served over plain HTTP. Their marketing site is served encrypted, but login and register are not! What the fuck!!!

Fuck everyone who does this stupid fucking shit with disregard to basic security features! Their goddamn bullshit privacy policy is bragging about how it's top priority to protect their customers' information and shit like that. Get the fuck out, cunts!!

I contacted them so I might have a continuation to this rant if I'm not satisfied with their answers.

Goddamn it!

I'm managed by idiots who don't fully realize the nightmare they're creating.

They're making small operational changes, but hundreds of them with zero evidence to back their claims up.

When I bring up how it actually works, and how operations actually work I'm told I don't use the tools as much as management does and that my feedback is limited to how I use the tool.

So now I'm just gambling that they won't fuck up too bad before I get that sweet sweet sellout money and just letting them fuck everything up they want without any warnings from me.

I'm quickly learning that the phrase of the year is, "Fuck em".

FUCK YOU MAGNETO!!!!!

what a backstabing cunt

imagine you're trying to prevent world war 3 from happening with someone you've been training for months.

out of nowhere, this FUCKING PICE OF SHIT decides to become a vilain.

in the midst of the event he tries to deflect a bullet that ricochets into my spine.
thanks asshole, now I can't walk

i thought we were friends man, we bonded over painful shit

like ok, they killed your mom and made experiments with you,

but it was just the NAZIS, LITERALLY EVERYBODY HATES THEM.
take it out on them, not the entire humanity bro

you unlocked your powers thanks to me, you couldn't even lift the toilet seat.

and you don't even give a fuck about mutants, you power hungry bitch

you only care about total domination

"oh no, someone save us from this mutant whose real name is eric"
im so scared right now

Being a programmer is basically like seeing all the cool tech that you always wanted to work with slip right out of your fucking hands and being replaced by an old system that bad programmers have managed to fuck up completely beyond saving. It’s like watching a bunch of monkeys trying to create a human out of decaying flesh, but when you question them, they look at you weird. It’s like wanting to create all these crazy cool animations and innovative experiences, but you end up spending most of your time trying to get a fucking image to line up correctly in marketing emails. My pride has been stripped from me.

Employer uses IBM Software, which forces me to use Eclipse. I hate eclipse. Hate is a hard word. I'd never say, I really 'hate' a person. But eclipse, eclipse is what I hate. I can look at my smartwatch and see my heartrate rising, just thinking of how the fuck any developer on this crappy planet would ship that bullshit IDE. That saying, I'm totally fine with some bugs, using windows and so on, but eclipse... Is this a get-more-contributors strategy? Holy moly it really kills me. Hey, let's just open that maven Proj.. Oh, crash. Hey, let's install that "bug-free" version of the maven-integratio... Oh, crash. Let's do a global search over my worksp.. Oh, freezed. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! How can this be legal? I mean, seriously, most junoir devs I know, just use Eclipse, because they don't know of any other "better" IDE (VIM would be better, even notepad). Is there anyone sucking professors cocks / vaginas to get them introduce that crap IDE to students?

Anyway I just want to fucking write code. I don't want to deal with people or give an opinion that is not appreciated. My manager says I am too aggressive but the truth is I hate stupidity and incompetence. I tell them their ideas are shit and not in a polite way and they make HR call me. Now I don't say shit and they are asking what I think. I think all of you are cunts that's what I think.but I don't say that. I say no comment when I know they are about to fall into a massive ditch. Will I stop them? Fuck no. Will I help them out if the ditch? Maybe, if it only involves writing code. I can't do diplomacy. I'll definitely be a fucking tyrant if I ever ruled a nation.

Why the fuck do people not change their router admin password!? I was at a hotel today and could access their router admin interface with the default credentials. I guess this isn't purely the fault of the hotel because not all people know a damn thing about security and only use the interface to change the SSID and password of the AP. But why allow them to leave the default password? Why isn't this a standard feature to be forced to change the password :|

So our team is scaling and we've been handling increased workload and I've been wanting to hire two juniors ever since. Finally narrowed down the candidates to three, but I couldn't decide between them so after some careful considerations, I've decided to hire all three. Fingers crossed I have enough time to mentor and manage the three of them and I don't fuck them up.

I thought noise cancelling headphones were a universal sign and courteous way of saying "I'm busy, fuck off" but apparently that doesn't seem to translate to my team. Every time I put these things on people start trying to talk over/through them.

How else do I let my team know to fuck off?

Our relationship is like a diode, you take and never give (I demand sex as compensation).

Btw, I really used this but with simpler words with two girls who wanted a ride to go and have fun with other boys in the clubs...

My best friend gave them a ride for over a year.
When we denied more, they started calling me... Wonder why.

Took them one time, asked for gás money.
Only called me one-month later, didn't ask for gás but said I wanted some snug and fun in return... OK, you can have us both (OH YEAH!!!).
On the club, they go for the muscular guys, leaving me alone.
When I got tired, got to one of them and said, ask your friend a ride home because I'm going now. (they ran for my ride since the guys they picked were all pricks and would probably dump them somewhere).
Never called me again...
Told what I did to my best friend, next time they called he demanded sex for both of us, never called him again.
And that's how you fuck opportunistic people. Fuck them.

Parents had asked me to assemble some furniture, fix the pc and so some other "brain" work

Furniture
Me: *Stops to check something in the manual*
Parents: Are you stuck? Maybe try assembling the door upside down
Me: No, it is the right way
Parents: *Ramble, ramble*
Me: Just let me work, shut the hell up

PC
Me: *Checks cables, checks logs, ect*
Parents: Maybe it is the problem with (insert random tech word there)?
Me: No.
Parents: W h y?
Me: Let me finish, it isnt that, (tech word) isnt even correlated to that
Parents: But, but, you never talk to me... (ramble ramble)
Me: Get the hell outta the room
*Argumemt breaks out*
30min later

Me: *Finnaly manages to fix it after the heated argument*
Me: I finished, everything works
Parents: Great, but you are mean
Me: I managed to finish the work in 15 min, you dont even have enough strengh to call for a specialist, (but knowing me i wouldnt allow it anyway because a lot of them make a poor job), so in order to make it properly and to relieve you from learning how to fucking google i want you to stay out of this so i can just finish my job. Your interruptions waste time and i dont need your help at all. Everytime you tried to fix stuff you always managed to fuck shit up when you tried to do anything.
Parents: (ramble)
Me: SHUT THE FUCK UP, LEAVE MY ROOM
Parents:
Me:
Parents: *Leave the room*

1h later i get 25$ for the job perfectly done

Sometime i wish they were tech independent, so i can save my sanity and time but money is nice.

If anybody tries to argue that i should respect them:
I tried talking to them nicely countless times through years, but they always force themself to a project and they always fuck shit up because of it. I tried telling them about my problems and they tried helping me but after it didnt work they retured to the old: "it is the pc fault" and similar. Even if they couldnt help me i juat wanted them to understand my situation, but no that didnt happened.

First i fix my life then i will fix the relationship

But but greeeeeg, relationships should be cared for always!
Eat shit. There is time for family and there is time for me especialy when my life can suddenly colapse due to my problems.

Rant

Wtf is Instagram. Seriously how many times do you have to be hit in the head with a fucking shovel to be even moderately amused by that garbage fire. You can't even upload more than ten files at once?! I mean I get server space but fuck me! That shit is goddamn fucking pathetic as fuck. These cock licking cockroaches who find interest in this banal baby vomit green trash are using precious oxygen. Seriously, to upload multiple photos took like twenty minutes. And then they were all wrong because I shot them 4:3. But this is a fucking photo sharing application and crops wrong with 4:3. What the living, breathing, fucking fuck? People actually live with this shit and use this?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! How narcissistic and stupid do you have to be to put with an application that doesn't even fucking run in browser. This was my first time ever attempting this fucking black hole of vapid self destruction. Never again. And fuck people willing to do it.

Just learned my company says it owns everything I think or build, whether I am on the clock or not. It was in the handbook, not the paperwork I signed, but it says I agree to it if I keep working for them. It even says I cannot show interest in something without their approval. FUCK!

Fuck, I only need to hire ONE fullstack developer who fucking knows what he's talking about and not trying to weasel their way into this job. I tell them that there are no annoying managers, no KPI, no bullshit, I thought this is kinda valuable, but no

How hard can it be?

First of all: FUCK MS WORD!!!
second: even tho I LOVE LaTeX, fuck LaTeX tables!!!

I mean, yeah, I am used to them, but maaaaaaaannn

fuck google! fuck the people updating the android OS! fuck android!

first you guys removed the feature to connect wifi using WPS and then promised to bring it back but instead brought a completely different feature

then you make all the clipboard manager apps obsolete. only keyboard apps can be clipboard manager otherwise the rest of them are screwed.

app needs my location permission just so that it can turn on my wifi! wtf!

app needs bluetooth, wifi & location just so that it can send data from one device to another device offline? why bluetooth? are we going back to 1970s?

fuck you google! fuck android!

I really wish some other companies fork it and removes all the clutters and makes it better.

Assignment release: this is a basic assignment that is supposed to help you understand the basics of memory allocation. You are free to use any design you want, however you can implement more advanced features that would lean towards specific designs. What will be punished is that you don't have a dynamic memory allocator. We will run the tests for these offline after the deadline

2 days before the deadline: we released the tests for checking whether you're allocating memory dynamically, but these tests also check for this specific design. So fuck you for choosing any other design than this one. Have fun on sleepless nights.

Fuck me, I guess, for worthlessly working on a different design than they wished for, but didn't specifically ask for from the beginning. I just wasted 2 weeks of my life and feel unmotivated af to do anything anymore regarding this. Fuck this shit. Fuck them. Fuck this course.

Holy FUck!!!? O.o
You know, they say the customer is always right.. So with us, if the customer wants to shot himself in the knee with a gun, we let them. Usually we even provide a fancy hugeAss cannon, so he can do it more efficiently.
/* not like we make stuff worse, but we prepare our SW for them to do crazy fucked up shit they insist on doing with it, even thought it's against common sense and our recommendations on how to implement XY feature.. */
So.. We usually go above and beyond with the 'not so nice but handy' cannon to do that..
And right now, I think I am on the verge of creating a superDuprHugeAtomicBomb /* figuratively speaking!! NSA go awy!! */ for the customer to killthemselves with!! O.o xD
Supper happy (until I discover more bugs, but it's not finished yet.. so hopefully no bugs at the end!!)

Caboom!

My dev days consist on coding shit that I am really not interested in(web design)

What gets me through them is getting to my home office when I can continue to fuck around with Machine Learning, my guitar or the shit that does interest me....

.......also...listening to Nothing But Thieves is about the one thing that keeps me from losing my shit at work...

This might not resonate with many ranters here... but FUCK Taylor Otwell & Graham Campbell.

Like, not on a personal level. Maybe they're great to drink a beer with. But as framework devs... fuck everything about them.

Laravel seems so nice, it takes away many annoyances of developing in PHP. Collections are the array object you've always needed. The route bindings, middlewares, request validation objects, it's all sweet.

But eventually your company serves a few million customers, you run into specific performance problems or missing features on a deeper level. You open the issue tracker... and see a few hundred issues about the problems you are encountering, they already exist.

Some just have a short paragraph with a request for a feature, some complete PRs with tests in the style of the framework. All of them closed.

Reasons?

"We don't think anyone will ever need this"
"This seems complicated, you can just do <super non-DRY hacky code>"

FUCK YOU WITH YOUR TODO APP SNIPPETS AND USER-POST-ARTICLE EXAMPLES. I'M NOT BUILDING THE NEXT WORDPRESS. I'M DEALING WITH THE REALITY OF GRAPH DATABASE CLUSTERS, COMPLEX AUDITING LOGS AND A GAZILLION QUERIES PER SECOND.

Sigh... the problem with all these "simple" and "elegant" languages & frameworks is that they don't fucking scale.

Not because the language, server or framework intrinsically can't do it, but because the maintainers are stuck thinking in terms of their retarded non-realistic example apps.

I think I'll go back to my cave and write some Haskell or Rust to calm down.

Well it's not really a work experience but that makes me think of that time I deleted all the fonts from school's computer (5y/o)... I wanted to make space by deleting useless stuff, but after that every text document showed in Windings or whatever the fuck this symbol font name was. Well then the TA had to transfer them from another computer with a floppy disk, it took forever xD I felt like I was going to prison that day

Seriously? WHY THE FUCK, are there no English speaking, no god damn accent tutorial videos on YouTube regarding VLSI design, or hell even any of the fucken layout tools ... allllllll of them in very strong Indian accent .. OR not even spoken in English... the fuck folks? Some of them are “ok” to understand but I can’t get past the accent of speeding up and slowing down, and repeating the words and phrases, and then emphasizing shit like a question, but turning it into a unneeded statement, emphasizing the wrong shit... uggh I just wanna pull my fucken hair out.

Americans either are keeping VLSI knowledge a secret.. or nobody who fucken speaks English knows wtf they doing.. and that’s scary.

Why apple is a peice of shit..? Why even people love it.. It makes apple to grow more.. Although they don't deserve it.. They don't deserve the trillion dollars.. Why don't they fuck them self..
In a year they release a peice of shit and people are like applauding on it.
Are you fucking serious people?
The people who called as "apple fanboy" please go fuck yourself.. Tell me one reason to love apple..
I am not talking about the price issue. I am talking about they think that they are the best.. But no they are not. They are a bunch of asshole who are working to make money.. They don't need to respect.

!dev

I fucking hate how when an (musical) artist dies, all of a sudden everyone is a fucking fan of them.

First it was Lil peep, then it was fucking Xtension cord dude, then Mac Miller and now Nippsey.

Like ik damn well all the people I am friends with saying "rip Nippsey" have heard like 2 songs from him and listened to them twice.

But now that he's dead you're acting like you bumped his shit all day & everyday? Fuck off man.

Yestersay i discovered black sabbath. I knew the group but never listened to them. And thats after being a fan of some of the buggest groups like led zep.

Where the fuck was I the last 30 years.

War pigs， tuuutuuutuuuuum toudou.....t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.....tuuutuuutuuuum....

Today.
I hate everyone.
I can't wait to stop working here, and I curse my inability to say 'no' out of pity.
I should have left them in the pit of smoking shit they dug for themselves, but NO i let them drag me in as always, even though I had all the rights to tell them to fuck off. But no, fucking 'good-hearted' me. I'm a hypocrite.
And so I managed to do something in the beginning, something in the middle, something a hour ago, then sent some messages around just to let everyone know I'm here, and the remaining 90% of the time I just let myself sink in my hatred for all of this.
Definitely not a productive day.

Fucking fuck fuck fuck outdated superiors that know jack shit about how software development works. Dnt even know about git, docker, cloud services. Everything is done on premise with network that is fucking crap and when an app is down "hey why is it down?" ask the fucking server and network admin how the fuck am i supossed to know? i have to create workaround codes when other devs just need to deploy their app and its fucking running as it should be. why the fuck do i need to spend my time debugging Ping timeouts? im a fucking dev. I have done designs, analyze requirements, build frontend, backend, optimize codes, paying attention to security and now i have to fix network problems as well? fuck off

Create Innovation my fucking arse. you just Keep saying that but then wondering "what is this new thing youre trying? its new and different why do that?" because you asked for innovation you fuck. If i copied some other concept its not innovation is it pricks.

Fuck them and all the brown nosers as well.

WHY IS IT SO FUCKIN ABSURDLY HARD TO PUSH BITS/BYTES/ASM ONTO PROCESSOR?

I have bytes that I want ran on the processor. I should:
1. write the bytes to a file
2a. run a single command (starting virtual machine (that installed with no problems (and is somewhat usable out-of-the-box))) that would execute them, OR
2b. run a command that would image those bytes onto (bootable) persistent storage
3b. restart and boot from that storage

But nooo, that's too sensible, too straightforward. Instead I need to write those bytes as a parameter into a c function of "writebytes" or whatever, wrap that function into an actual program, compile the program with gcc, link the program with whatever, whatever the program, build the program, somehow it goes through some NASM/MASM "utilities" too, image the built files into one image, re-image them into hdd image, and WHO THE FUCK KNOWS WHAT ELSE.

I just want... an emulator? probably. something. something which out of the box works in a way that I provide file with bytes, and it just starts executing them in the same way as an empty processor starts executing stuff.

What's so fuckin hard about it? I want the iron here, and I want a byte funnel into that iron, and I want that iron to run the bytes i put into the fuckin funnel.

Fuckin millions of indirection layers. Fuck off. Give me an iron, or a sensible emulation of that iron, and give me the byte funnel, and FUCK THE FUCK AWAY AND LET ME PLAY AROUND.

Installed my telecom service provider's app for checking new packs. Didn't remember the password. Hit forgot password! I get my password in plain text in sms!

Fuck, it's one of the leading service provider in the country!

Till now i had only read about it, but never encountered it! Any ideas as to how to approach them?

Toxic relationships are the worst thing that can happen to anyone. While some of them you can get out of or avoid. You can't do much about the ones you're born into.

Such people have their egos up their butt. They just don't realise that they're just a tiny dust particle in the entirety of cosmos. They not only make things difficult for others by their presence, but often go out of their way to do that.

Fuck this!

The largest ISP in my country, a government backed service, hijacks URLs randomly and injects pop up into web browser!

Imagine if getting hijacked during an online transaction... Glad it never happened yet.

But Fuck them for doing this.

How the fuck does TypeScript still not have service worker support? Seriously, it's just a typings file. People have written that typings file. They would just have to include it in the lib collection shipped with the compiler. Yeah, it would have DOM calls intermixed with the SW api, but frankly, having the typings for a set of calls you can't use is infinitely better than missing them for a set of calls you can.
The relevant issue is 5 years old btw.

Why the fuck are there people in power (management positions) who are a bunch of scumbags and have literally 0 amount of trust left in their bodies? What the fuck is up with that??? If y'all have freakin issues with your subordinates, and don't trust them that they can do their work, FUCKING 👏 TALK 👏 TO 👏 THEM 👏 STAYING IN YOUR PETTY PITY PITHOLE WONT FUCKING DO ANYTHING. YOU HAVE ALREADY ACCEPTED THEM IN YOUR COMPANY AND THERE IS AN ALREADY EXISTING TALENT/RESOURCE WAITING TO BE USED BUT YOURE NOT DOING ANYTHING TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM THEN IDK? IF YALL COULD JUST TALK TO THEM THAT WILL BE GREAT.

Getting drunk texts from my employees that just remembered something to do at night on a Saturday is definitely one of the highlights of my weekend.

I don't trip, poor dudes get fucking tasked out of the ass by the entire institution, and whilst I try to shield them from bullshit as much as I can their duties entail a lot of stuff, if they forgot to do 1 task out of the fucking 100s of shit they are asked to do on a daily basis that is fine really. I am never going to shit on them for it. It happens, specially when you are understaffed and everyone has thousands of additional duties. I really try man.

But yeh, them drunk texts are funny af. Makes me think exactly what the fuck were these dudes going through that somehow something clicked and reminded them of a pending item.

Your Thunderbird inbox file is 8GB and you complain about the speed but still, when I fucking ask you if you want me to archive for you the fucking mails, I get a "Hell no, I don't like them archived because then they are difficult to find"... go to fuck off.

FUCK Banks

Fuck Banks and fuck online Banking

Fuck you for not supporting real 2FA
Fuck you for having such shitty bloated bullshit Websites and online services
Fuck you for taking forever to transfer money
Fuck you for not having public APIs Fuck you for so many uncountable reasons.

And most of all Fuck you for constantly trying to fuck me. I FUCKING HATE BANKS SO FUCKING MUCH.

I hope so much that there'll be a decentralised uncontrollable anonymous and digital currency in the future. Something like Cryptos (like BTC or ETH) but without all the major Problems they have now.

I wish there was a hell Banks could go to. I want to see them burn and suffer so fucking much not even the worst medieval torture methods are enough to satisfy me.

Tf is up with google search? Like yeah it got worse and worse over the years but since the last few months it's actually unusable?

I was able to find everything I always found this one forum answer I needed, on page one.

Now it just grabs every single word and shows me where some of them match. What the fuck?

Same for duckduckgo btw.

<warning>bad words</warning>

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!!! LibreOffice Impress is a complete shit!! I am all about open source and such but this shit just sucks, moving elements around a frame snaps them to some grid, however when you paste an element from other frame it will have a different grid!!! This motherfucker has got an ALT function that will allow you to move the element more precisely but it only works seldom and it hates it when I try to use the fucking arrow keys - it even crashed once when I tried it. AND WHEN YOU FUCKING COPY A TABLE FROM ONE FUCKING FRAME TO ANOTHER MOTHERFUCKING FRAME, DELETE A FEW ROWS AND THEN COPY THE FREAKING TABLE BACK IT WILL HAVE MAGICALLY DIFFERENT DIMENSIONS BUT JUST EVER SO SLIGHTLY, BECAUSE FUCK THE USER, RIGHT??!!! (Doing this because there is no way to split tables into two different objects) I constantly have to save my presentation, kill the process and open it again because something just stops working or gets stuck, like seriously, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING FUCK???!!! Are there no tests?!!! Do the people who work on this piece of motherfucking shit even use it???!!

So after fucking around with me and promising me that I'd be first call if a position opened up but then hiring someone who didn't even show up for there previous interview, one of them messaged me saying a local ISP is looking to fill customer support positions...

Ho ho ho ho! Fuck you buddy! :-D

So let's talk about CNAs, Captive Network Assistants, these downsized browser that open on Smartphones when you try to login to a free wifi which requires you to buy sometging or accept some terms.

I fucking hate them. I'm a web dev which has to deal with these dumbfucks.

Back in the time, there was this dumbfuck who had the idea to capture http requests on network level and response with a redirect to his own landing page. Fuck this guy. Then some dudes had the idea of the CNA as a privacy security feature. A good idea. But also this guys: "hey, let's make them a huge pain to develop for".Fuck them, too. But then came the companies saying: "hey make us a huge SPA with all features we can think of for this fucktard of a browser."

I hate fucking CNAs

Why is the most useful Explorer shortcut (rename element, F2) besides the least useful one (Help, F1)??
And why does Help open in the browser? Not the default one, but EDGE.
Fuck them. I'll find a way of disabling F1 one day...

Fuck the feelings of powerlessness and helplessness. when a friend comes crying for you for help with their hacked account and you keep asking them about what they did to protect it in the first place and they reply with nothing, no recovery email, no recover phone, no secondary verification, NOTHING. and you can do nothing but stand there and watch them cry while you can literally do nothing because there literally nothing you can do to retrieve their stolen accounts. FUCK BLACK HAT HACKERS.

FUCK IEEE 754.
I've always thought that javascript's problem with floating points was just a good anecdote, but it couldn't have serious consequences in real life programming.

Until I've been stuck half an hour with a bug just because (2.8-0.8)%2 was falsy! FUCK, why don't decide to switch to a decent codification of numbers? Fuck them and fuck all programming languages like this

Not adding input validation to that one page that time.

I knew my users were bad. I knew they'd fuck up. But I trusted the spec I trusted them.

Never again.

I thought I had a great understanding of regular expressions but today I tried to use them in vim... Why the fuck they have to be so different there??

CEO tells us to delete every Trello boards, and make a big smoking dump of shit of a Trello board out of them, by adding every project for every plaform there, because he is a control freak, and he NEEDS to see every project all in one, because he’s “tired” of switching between boards if he wants to see the completion of a project. Like duh, this is the job of our 2 PM’s, but whatever you dumb fuck. Chaos is coming.....i’m done

When project managers are panicking and you know you are really so close from done, a few fixes and everything will fall into place. But manager is on your neck because "nothing is working" now you must take time to be their psychologist instead of working on what is actually making them panic 🙃 development is a rough space. One bug can stand in front of working products just like that

I really wanna say, please fuck off for a few hours. Thanks bye.

Sick of seeing the 'proprietory is the devil' fucking argument, I'm super keen for the pine phone and to a lesser extent the librem 5 but seeing people already boycott them because they still use some proprietary libraries and components...

Who gives a fuck, yes open source is better for those who love to tinker and learn the inner workings but there is nothing wrong with using proprietary software on one of these devices.

It's the same toxic shit as 'microsoft bad, Linux good' and we really need less of it around

So me and some colleagues joined a hackathon. We already agreed on our project architecture, UI design, and features to build and showcase. Halfway through development new features kept getting added without my inputs, I said to myself it's ok maybe they're just small insertions. But nope, they kept breaking my CSS and UI design and kept causing merge issues on our repo because, well, no one could seem to agree on the project scope. The last straw was, with a couple of hours left, someone went and added new screens and changed the application flow entirely, which entailed some rather nasty rework of my code to fix. Fuck that, I decided to just stop and let them sort the mess.

When it was our turn to present our project, the fucking cunts assumed I would do all the talking - even if they never sent over the slides they put together. Why the fuck am I going to present something drastically different from the initial, agreed-upon scope? I told them to do it themselves and I remained silent throughout the entire debacle.

Of course, we lost. But I wasn't surprised. The guys who presented kept on contradicting each other and were not unified in their vision. I'm never teaming up with them ever again. Fucking asshole douchebag fucks.

FUCK YOU GOOGLE

I feel I have zero control as a developer.. You made the shittiest choice by bringing in intellij , you made an even worse choice by adding gradle.. You add thousands of configuration options to manifests, layouts but provide no common place to find documentation for them.. This is just nonsense.. I've wasted endless hours figuring out your dex limits, proguard rules.. It's just frustrating.. Could you be anymore counterintuitive with your unit testing framework! Honestly it's a steaming pile of shit..

So apparently vmware has a blacklist of video drivers... if you want to ignore the blacklist you legit have to manually add a line to the .vmx file...

I understand it's not a massive problem everyone will have but at least add a GUI option...

Fuck me, if your going to have something that can potentially render your product useless to some users out of the box, at least give them a simple way, even if it is just under he VM's advanced options -.-

By the way, for anyone that gets a "lol" from me, I really mean I'm laughing out loud. I don't like being dishonest with these stuff.

Like when I'm in classes and message something funny to a classmate and he replies "rofl", I really expect him to be rolling on the floor laughing but fuck, he's there sitting with a perfect pose without even a smirk on his face. Next time you rofl at me, motherfucker, I expect you to be rolling in the floor. ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING.

So appreciate my lols please. I mean them. I lol in the subway, my car, in classes and the bathroom. I'm sincere with them.

Everywhere I go I see these "Become senior in 3 weeks" courses
That's good and all
But when the fuck will you teach your students to debug and search your errors on google/stackoverflow
This is so fucking ridiculous
Them guys can't even read git push/pull errors and wonder why they make changes to the code but nothing happens

What the FUCK im fixing integrations on some dumbass's API. Biz wants this in prod on monday. It's fucking saturday. Anyway

Me: why did you give us a 200 even if its an error
Them: thats normal
Me: If it's an error it shouldnt be 200
Them: its a 200 because the api params are correct but differ in value so its not an http error but an api error

lmao

How the fuck did my company decide a single toilet stall is enough? Are they really this cheap? Why must I go to the bathroom three times before I can actually use it? Why do they think one is enough for 100 male employees? In their defence, they do have urinals, but I'm not comfortable using them.

So many questions and I STILL NEED TO GO!

So last time, when HR asked for a meeting I thought they knew who'll be leaving with me. But there is only rumors saying "CTO is poaching inside his team".

And I also learned from the a paralegal, who talk too much, that they just want to fuck with me.

So new course of action: how can I fuck with them? All week end thinking about it. And today, a big competitor, offered me the VP Engineering!!!

So I'll try to make them use their Non-Competition clause.

In France you can set a couple of main competitors and the employee can't work for them for a couple of years. And you have to pay the employee the full salary he could earn during that time (two years of salary). As the employee, you have to disclose this information (you want to sign with the competitor) with your current company and they have a couple of week to decide if they want to use the clause.

So I'm starting to see how I can scare them enough to make them use this clause.

I know it's not cool, but I enjoy so much fucking with them!!!

That would be Sony.

Mainly because the of PlayStation 4. I mean what kind of company blocks the access to third party’s account so you can use it only on their console (the Fortnite situation). That’s literally saying “we own you, bitch”. Even Apple doesn’t do that kind of crap.

Fuck Sony and their PlayStation. I’m sticking with Xbox. Yes, it doesn’t have as many of exclusives. Yes, it’s made by Microsoft - the same company which made Windows 10. But fuck Sony even more than them.

Holy fucking shit are email clients bullshit.
I don't know what happened there but if you thought the chrome-firefox-ie-egde gaps back in the days were sick - let me tell you.. email clients are made by the devil himself. All of them. All of them? Yup. Because he made some of them being owned by apple, working beatuiful and no weird stuff.
But on the same end he made some of them owned by microsoft and their office Studios. They use the word engine to render html emails. Read this again. Read it without starting to cry in agony.
But thats not enough. Let's make some of them use an ie-engine and the mac os variants going to use some webkit based renderer. This way there will be no valid ruleset to make it look good on all of them, isn't this great??
Now this might be hell already. But lets pour more salt into these wide opened wounds.
Let there be Germany and United Internet, owning trash like Web.de and GMX, whose android clients going to work completely different across Android and app-versions!
Once you've mastered these, let me introduce you to gmail. Lets take only the body node of your email and do some fuck up with it, so you have to display a non-responsive variant on mobile.
Now you might be thinking "but there are web-based clients, they'll do good ain't they?" Long story short: fuck you.
Not enough.
Let's go back to ms.
Hey dude lets make it possible to scale up your whole system. So old people can read shit better. And now the funny part: let's make it so that the word rendering engine, rendering emails goes completely mayhem on your mail, so it looks like a completely different thing! (:

If you ever receive a newsletter in your inbox and that shit looks like it's planned to look like.. appreciate that shit. Sacrifice a virgin as thanksgiving for it.

TL;DR:
E-Mail needs to die. I'm doing this for over 2 years now and this shit needs to stop asap.

Why doesn't Slack have an option to mute an entire workspace? It can only mute individual channels in the workspace, like sure, I want to manually mute every single fucking channel when I'm no vacation, and then unmute them when I come back. Who the fuck thought that was a good idea? For fucks sake, Discord can do it, but the most popular enterprise chat lacks such a basic feature.

Man I am sick and tired of developers (I was about to put that in quotes, but it's mean), acting "cool" all the time. Like let me just put it out there, WTF is dAy iN tHE LiFE oF A sOftWaRe deVELoper.

Get the fuck out here. All you do is eat, walk, eat, chat, laugh and fuck around all day, with no work being done. And I'm supposed to respect you. Educate these young and fresh developers on what it is really like, rather than teasing them with the ideal life they think it is.

the moment when you say fuck this functionality and let’s get rid of this 15 screens and replace them with simply point and click and they say but google did it like we wanted… Well google is valued trillion dollars and we are valued nothing. If you want this shit pay million to some developer so he would do one thing and deliver this…ok it’s not needed, fucking 12+ years making startups and delivering projects and still need to deal with morons who say google did it, yeah ask them to develop some functionality for you and fuck you too… I saved you year of work you morons and you fucking complain, dude you need to start selling your products and I want to enable it to you, if you don’t understand that shit then fuck you…

>Client: Hey, I lost my Facebook password but it's saved on my old laptop
>Me: ...alright, i'll look
>Laptop: won't boot - "No bootable devices found!"
hoo boy
>opens 'er up to pull drive
this is really heavy for an SSD, Corsair, and especially for only 64GB
>plugs into other PC
nothing
fuck me
>sees jumper pins
>jumps them
>BAREFOOT-ROM RECOVERYMODE SSD DEVICE - 128GB
that's twice the size of the disk, wtf?
but ok, i'll take it, any data?
>Win10: *crashes because driver chokes*
>Win7: *crashes because driver chokes*
>WinXP: *doesn't see it, TestDisk doesn't run because Kernel32.DLL issue*
>Linux: *Issues the instant SSD plugged in, they stop instant removed*
fuck it
RMA

So this group of students (mostly girls) from university approached us to make them a prototype app for their semester's project, we had a first reunion to know about the idea and what they wanted us to do.

All they talked about was the color and some minor design stuff, we still don't exactly know what we're doing since it was difficult for us to get them to actually define the requirements and what the app should do.

We were supposed to have a second reunion for us to show them some ideas but the day of the meeting they didn't reply any of our messages.

I'm not the kind of guy who gets upset easily, but if you ask us for help and then let us hanging not really knowing what to do with your shitty project, fuck you.

I've been trying for the last 3 months to land my first development job. I have a good (over 3 years) amount of experience, but no industry experience and no degree. So it's been a uphill battle. Currently working at a call center making garbage and most of my time and energy is invested into this. Currently am not mobile so most of my money is being geared towards that. It's just frustrating to see all these over glorified job postings that ask so much for just entry levels. I haven't even gotten a damn interview, I feel like in houston it's either you have a degree or you are not even considered for just a fucking interview. If I can get at least one they will be able to see my drive, persistence and skills that have been developed overtime. And fuck recruiters, have been interfacing with them over linkedin and not one of them seemed eager (initially yes) to land me an interview. Most of these fucks don't even fucking understand the technology or buzzwords that are on the job posting. If I were a recruiter I would at least put a little research into what the different technologies are so the process will seem less abstract. The tech will have more meaning and maybe I would be able to get a better success rate with clients if I knew what was really required of them. Not just looking at xyz and seeing if client has experience with them, but really see if they know what they are; that way I will have more confidence sending them into an interview. But of course that's not how it works. "Oh yeah Java and javascript are very similar"... get the fuck out of here.

-Week before final project presentation.
Classmate: Dude, can you help me for our project? Its website.

Me: Sure, what you used?

Classmate: ASP. NET

Me: Ok....I don't know much about it but let me see.

Classmate: No, I just want your help with flowchart, sequence diagram and use case diagram.

Me: ..................
*in mind: how the fuck m supposed to do that shit I don't even know much about your website*

(still I drew few basic flowcharts for them)

jesus christ a fucking company funded at 110 million A seed round can't figure out why i'm still getting charged despite the fact that I unsubbed in fucking april

...and they're using stripe!

i've been using stripe with my SaaS for 3 years and never had an issue with a single customer - if they don't unsub themselves, they email me and ask me to do it for them, done.

fuck the world fuck everyone

i just really don't have the motivation or inspiration to do anything anymore

call it ego but this isn't fucking rocket science

When you type W in your browser but you accidentally press ctrl...

And the stock market is plunging again.... Who gives a fuck....

It makes no logical sense? Unless someone wants to enlighten me... But I don't see much downside...

COVID kills us all => who gives a fuck about stock prices

COVID kills most of us => who gives a fuck about stock prices, aka pieces of paper. All the survivors will create a new society and either split the goods or fight over them. It'll be like Survivor... But real.

COVID goes away and doesn't do anything => great time to buy buy buy since all you idiots basically just gave me like a huge discount on stock prices. AKA a long overdue market correction

Why can’t Headphone Safety in iPhone just fucking respect the Type of my Bluetooth Device?!

Why the fuck does it HAVE to reduce the sound of my Bluetooth speaker even though the Device Type is set as fucking speaker!!

Do whatever the fuck with “accurate measurements” of audio levels but just don’t fucking treat my headphones and speaker as same when I explicitly set them differently!

For Andromeda’s sake!

"please try again later" is said when you dont know what the fuck is the problem but you dont want to lose the customer of your app so instead of them uninstalling your broken shit you fearfully tell them "keep trynna do the thing but later, later so u dont forget us cz of how shitty we are"

I just spent 4 hours troubleshooting 2 pcs, neither of them working yet. I'm way too tired, and I'm not even sure what I'm saying is correct English but I don't care. Man, fuck my life. I just wanna go to bed, but my brain doesn't think that's a good idea

Whoever made these fucking AIML libs that are unmaintianed for eons should fucking die.

Seriously, I want to make a fucking AI in AIML in Node.js but I can't because none of them ever fucking works

Jesus fuck you fags should go to hell, get your soul forked by Satan and and rot in despair you impregnated wankflaps

Fuck forced coding conventions in uni, especially if they are as stupid as Google's Java Conventions. They are a disgrace to nice code but we will have to use them going forward

Stupid spaces everywhere. Else on the same line, wtaf. And don't even get me started on indentation with fucking spaces. Tabs are superior in every single way fite me irl

Told my client last october that I would not be doing a migration.

Two weeks ago they wanted me to do the migration and I told them I will do my best to create estimates but that it was the first time.

Gave them a resonable estimate to migrate the content.

And last meeting they cut the time by 70% to meet the budget.

Fuck the budget, can't pay then you don't get the shiny new toy.

I'm a contractor, not a fucking employee. So all the extra hours are on me.

Going to give them a piece of my mind today.

If I lose this client, i don't give a fuck.

So many businesses, even if successful by targetting companies and contacting them themselves, can't get a website that actually tells what the fuck they do or offer, you can use your business buzzwords, smash some "marketing" here and there, but seriously, how would I know what you're actually doing, if I just stumble across your website and would even want to do any business with you, if all your pages are filled with absolute non-sense.

wk8 responses so far have been WEAK.
Most of them follow the format:

I did <some minor mistake> but fortunately I was able to <make a quick fix> within <short period of time> so everything turned out ok.

Come on guys, where are the REAL fuck ups? The ones that got you fired/permanently banned from the company?

I've said this once before and I'll say it again, if you create a game engine, development kit or the like that is single threaded with no easy ability to allow multi threaded work loads, grab a cactus and firmly shove it down your urethra :-3

(It's mostly a rant with GameMaker but fuck sake, we have CPU's with more than 1 core... Let us use them!)

Fuck being asked every time if I fix computers, Bitch I code in them!
It's like being asked: do you fix cars? No? But if work using your car, how come you don't know how to fix them?

Anybody here know that shitty service called Birthday Reminder? Yeah? Fuck them.

Never signed up for the bullshit, but because some kiddo's I was in class with 10+ years ago (I think it started when i was ~12 yrs old) did, I keep on getting their spam. They have an unsubscribe button in their emails, directing me to a page that says I can only unsubscribe if I log in.
FUCK YOU.
I NEVER SIGNED UP FOR YOUR SHITTY SERVICE AND I REALLY DONT WANT TO DO NOW EITHER.

Ofc I emailed them politely to remove both my email addresses from their databases.
And they are politely ignoring me.
Fuck you.

PS yes I know I can mark them as spam, but I prefer just not receiving their shit at all. I have a very clean spam folder.

FUCK YOU PHP, FUCK YOU SYMFONY AND DEFINITELY FUCK YOU SHOPWARE.

Don't get me wrong, PHP has evolved a lot, but the stuff people are building with it is just the biggest load of fucking shit I have ever seen: Shopware. Shopware is the most ass-sucking abomination to extend. It's nearly impossible to develop anything beyond "use the standard features and shut the fuck up" that is more sophisticated than a fucking calculator.

The architecture of this pile of crap is the worst bullshit ever. A mix of OOP, randomly making use of non OOP concepts and features together with the unnecessarily HUGE amount of useless interfaces and classes. Sometimes I feel like it's 90% fucking shitty boilerplate shit.

And don't get me started with TWIG. It's a nice thought, but WHY THE BLOODY FUCK WOULD YOU NOT USE VUE IF YOU ARE ALREADY USING IT FOR A DIFFERENT PART OF SHOPWARE. This makes no fucking sense whatsoever and makes development of new features a huge pain in the ass. I can't comprehend how people actually like using this shit.

OH AND THE DATABASE. OH MY FUCKING GOD. This one is bad. Ever tried to figure anything out in a database where random strings (yes MySQL "relational" - you might think) that are stored as text in a JSON format make up some object or relations during runtime?? Why the fuck do you have foreign and primary keys if you don't use them properly??

Seriously you can't even figure out which data belongs to what because the architecture just sucks fucking ass. FUCK YOU Shopware wankers, you suck, your product sucks, your support sucks, your architecture sucks and you keep releasing new versions that regularly break shit even in minor versions.

I used to like PHP, but not in projects like these.

I swear to god if I spend more money on headphones this year. This time it was my dog that snapped the cord off. I think I will just start using bluetooth headphones now, but if there is no cord I might drop them a lot and they are expensive Oh my god jesus christ fuck me fuckfuckfuckfuckfuuuuuuck

Having a narcissist as a friend can depreciate your mental energy so much that you just want to scream "fuck off... nobody gives a fuck about you".
but you know doing that will scatter the little fantasy world they surround themselves with and open them to a harsh reality.
so for me, I just go with the flow

why the fuck those images wouldn't load? they come corrupt from K8S, but they are fine if I run the container locally, like... wtf? is Ingress NGINX doing something to them or did I configure something wrong?!

I told my new Director that I am not one for going with third party vendors. He claimed that I was biased. I am really.

But I told him that support and troubleshooting are the main reasons why I dislike third party vendors as well as the request for X software to do Y non supported thing, they always state during a sales call that they can accommodate, they never do.

As an example, I send them the logs of a support ticket for one particular piece of software that we have, for which I detailed the situation, only for them to NEVER respond and then after 5 days close the ticket stating that I never replied back to them, even when they never replied back.

A custom made in house solution will always be superior to your run of the mill all encompassing app. But try and make a non dev understand this. I wish my old director was back. I miss the fuck out of that dude. Loved working for him.

I know Windows update rants are a dime a dozen but HOW IN THE FUCK DID YOU MICROSUCKADICK BOOT LICKERS SHOVE SO MUCH HORSESHIT INTO THIS UPDATE THAT IT UNINSTALLED VIRTUALBOX? The hell?

Really, I rebooted my PC, short cuts everything, gone! Newer stuff is there plus any restore point would have had VirtualBox installed, so what the hell.

I’m stating to think that when Windows says “all your files are exactly where you left them” it’s a best guess because it just completely fucked with all your files for no reason and tried to put them back but it’s not so sure.

I tried to sort out a basic Multi layer neural network last night....by hand, just to prove that I was able to do the math by myself and understand that I have the intuition in control rather than just rely on Tensorflow or Pytorch to do shit for me.

I stayed up till 3 in the morning and woke up having nothing but dreams about the endeavor. Shitty part is that i couldn't stop dreaming about partial derivatives and how shit it was that I sucked at them in HS and uni. I get them now, but fuck I just feel that I could have done so much better at uni instead of passing my math classes with 80% to 90% of the grade. I feel as if I was slacking all thanks to being damn near mathematically dyslexic

I know I am guilty of this too, but it gets quite annoying when co-workers just barge in with a "something isn't working" while providing as few details as possible, needing me to ask them multiple questions about what exactly the fuck is it that made them cry.

Maybe it is a courtesy thing where you don't offload too much information in one go, but I wish they'd rather also tell me in what part of the application, doing what, with what input, did they encounter the problem.

Sometimes even I'll also just subconsciously assume a couple of details, only to realize fifteen minutes later that we're talking about two different modules.

Bugs are good in code. It shows that you're Human. You make mistakes. And you're willing to correct them.

But when they're someone else's bugs in a piece of code they didn't give a flying fuck about documentation, bugs can tick one off. The bigger the project, the better the documentation needs to be. And I'm not taking about java docs. Put proper comments in your code. Especially when it's not a personal project and you fully intend to leave the company.

I think I need glasses (or at least more coffee) but every time I think about contributing to an open source project maintained by a "Comunity", i find out that I missed the smelly bits in theire massive coc that they want to ram down your throat.

Eigther I missed them every time or some fuck puts them in after I read them.

The first time it's about mostly Standart shit like: don't troll/flame/insult/detract. But than I start seeing: Sexism, Racism, xenophobia, hetotonormativity (wtf nodeJs)/homophobia insta ban. They even assert that you should apologize even if you did nothing wrong and your not allowed to stand your ground or your banned.

And if the mod pulls a fast one on your buddy, not allowed to be discussed in any public forum or your banned too.

What happened? I was sure that only the bigger repos had that shit (like the Linux kernel (that bans you for being pro trump). Have I missed something?

Fuck every repo that does that shit. They ain't gonna get my time or money.

Hello Apple. Let me tell you something.
Even though i like your phones. I ABSOLUTELY WANT TO FUCKIN KILL YOU FOR YOUR HEADPHONES.
It's unbelievable you cock suckers, evey time the same shit happens.
WHY THE FUCK YOUR FUCKIN HEADPHONES AFTER 3-4 MONTHS START TO BEHAVE LIKE THEY ARE FUCKIN RETARDED.
1st headphones, they started changing songs randomly. That was back when i had iphone6.
It's ok i said, happens. Then i bought the iphone 7 and the headphones started behaving like that after some months. Again. Didn't say anything, i still liked them. So i went to buy the same headphones but for iphone6, with the 3.5mm jack. AND NOW THE SAME SHIT HAPPENS. FUCK YOU AND YOUR FUCKIN HEADPHONES AND YOUR FUCKIN 200€ HEADPHONES. COCKSUCKERS.

So, anyone knows any good quality headphones?
FUCK YOU APPLE.

Why do package maintainers stop answering and go silent?!

I've waited for more than two weeks on acceptance on my PR, the maintainers hasn't been active and I've even notified them of my worries.. But so far no activity.

Why the fuck does a package like date-fns have maintainers that doesn't answer? Furthermore, I can see one of them making private contributions on Github..

I need this package to help on another package to finish my project 😭

I build a framework single-handedly to make my work at a customer project easier. It is good and thought out but now more and more people join the fray, suggesting and wanting to change it in a way I didn't envision it. Therefore I am arguing and discussing with them their points but it might look like me being defensive and immature where I just honestly disagree with them. Fuck my life.

I remember when first iPhone came out, The only broken shit while browsing was panning and pinching(most of the pages did not have responsive design) but they worked. Now every fucking webpage is mobile friendly, except all of them are fucking broken! You don't have safari or Chrome? Then fuck you! Here you have this BIG fucking button that does not work. Fuck all SPA!

Fuck this dieing pice of cheap chinese android crap. Sure it was anly 250 bucks, but holy hell... I could deal with the software side... Android 6 isn't the newest but eh...
But now the fucking hardware is failing too... To be more precise the buttons seam to randomly fire, which is really fucking annoying. Sometimes when both back and the other button fire the touch screen even joins the party of triggering touches in the right upper corner... Why the fuck ever.

Just ordered a pixel 3a, your days are counted fucking piece of trash!
Had to order the new one to a mailbox in germany though, as google doesn't ship them to switzerland (and the few retailers who import them charge like 130 bucks more, so paying the 5€ pickup fee will be a lot cheaper...)

Android force-updated itself without my permission and it appears they've removed the "open applications" menu altogether. If not, it's well and completely hidden.

Getting fucking sick of my phone and other devices being at the mercy of Mommy Microsoft, Daddy Google and Auntie Apple. Fuck them. I have zero control over my electronics anymore.

EDIT: It's there, but it only works if you're already in an app - not from the home screen. Because that makes fucking sense.

FUCK JEST. ITS ALL SHIT. I CANT HAVE A DIFFERENT MOCK RESULT FOR ONE TEST AND KEEP THE OTHERS THE SAME WITHOUT REWRITING THEM.

THIS IS THE REASON NOBODY REALLY WANTS TO DO TESTS, NOT BECAUSE THEYRE STUPID BUT BECAUSE THE FRAMEWORKS ARE THE PINNACLE OF CANCER THEMSELVES.

I just wanted to transfer my domain from domain operator dns to other dns provider.
Now I lost control over my domain and it redirects to those fuckers website.

I thought fuck them, this is their last fuck up so decided to transfer domains from this piece of shit provider to any other.
It turned out you need to send request using post office or visit their office by yourself to get EEC (authinfo) code
Their office is 300km away but cause it’s fucking faster and more reliable then waiting a month for their mail with fucking numbers I will go and do it next week.
Let the fucking hell begin.
I hope those motherfuckers would food poison and shit themselves into their beds till end of their fucking life.
Fuck those fuckers.

Why the fuck does Windows still not have a fcking decent package manager?

I hear you "but but but, there is Chocolatey, it's great, try it!". Well yeah if you only want binaries.

But I do need to, you know, develop and compile things, and without includes, code, and a reliable way to produce working binaries from that, it's useless.

Guess who needs to download dependencies one by one, compile them one by one?

Don't get me started on broken MinGW, or the "recommended" way of doing a bat script to have proper includes (what the hell, that's the entire purpose of env variables), or the fact that there is NO convention on where to install things.

what the fuck are "covariant" return types...
I've been using java since java exists through all different versions. Mostly for web development.

Today I discovered "covariant" return type. What a shitty name.
I think I used the concept even without being aware of it...maybe just -oh- because Eclipse is allowing or even suggesting it.

I honestly cannot develop without Eclipse suggestions.

But here I am, survived 30 here in the business, developing end-to-end web applications for thousand of customers and deploying them.

And failing stupid questions in moronic interviews. Fuck.

PS also I don't use Streams. sorry.

yay!!! Another PROD issue on something that we've had PROD issue on and well should be an easy fix... Cuz the root cause is prolly bc the idiot that implemented the logger had no idea what the fuck they were doing... And well the whole team didn't bother to ask me (and never listen to me anyway).... WHO WOULD PROBABLY SHOW THEM HOW THEY FCKED UP...

BUT ....

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

How the fuck am I supposed to fucking keep working if these fucking clowns add mandatory peer code review and passing build gating on main repositories (which I completely agree with to be fair) but they don't fucking review pull requests at all? For fuck's sake, am I the only one that reviews them seriously and promptly in this shit ass fuck company? I follow all the recommended guidelines so don't bullshit me with "iT iS nOt FuN tO rEvIeW pUlL rEqUeStS", do your job or just remove yourself from the fucking gating process, you worthless admin ass crust.

And don't get me started on fucking builds that fail randomly because some worthless shit bucket added unstable networking tests as unittests somehow, making your pull request get auto-disapproved by peers upon failure.

I got so many pending pull requests and management won't do fuck all about it because they won't force people to do their job by fear of pushing them around and get HR complaints that I am tempted to simply give up and just start playing videogames.

Fucking gnome and their stupid fucking alerts. Seemed like an okish desktop, but cosing in vim triggers a metric butt ton of alerts which interrupts my super chill beats. So, ok lets disable them. Oh look there's a toggle.. easy enough. NO because those motherfucking alerts, while now silent, still cut off my music for a couple hundred ms every time they're triggered. Fuck you gnome.