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THOSE FUCKING DUMBASSES BOUGHT _THEMSELVES_ A SERVICE THAT COSTS 599 A MONTH, BUT US DEVS AREN'T ALLOWED TO USE ONE THAT COSTS 30 A MONTH?!?!?!
FUCK.
YOU!!!!!!!!
saving money my ass!!!!
the absolute insolence of these fools...
just rudely stated this in a message to the managers, let's see what weak excuse the clowns return...7 -
Managers: fullStackClown!!!! The image uploader on the dashboard at <insert 3rd party service here> isn't working!!!!!
fullStackClown: Yeah? What do you want me to do about it?
Managers: Well, fix it!
fullStackClown: ... * sigh * Well, in case you didn't realize, I don't work at <insert 3rd party service here>, so... unless you want me to go work for them instead of you absolute clowns (which I dream about daily), I cannot help you further in this matter.
Managers: ...
fullStackClown: ...
Kill me. 🤡6 -
Why write any specs anymore? The juniors don't read them, nor do the product managers. I'm just talking to myself at this point.
So, I waste time writing these nice detailed tickets, then when I go to review the pull request, the whole pile of horseshit is half done, and when I ask the product managers for resolutions, they don't have a clue either.
So just give me the whole fucking app, I'll do the whole damn thing myself. See you on Mars in 2025 while you and your pleb asses serve me fries and burgers.
1 -
Screw the Chief Technology Clown role...
I'm now officially Chief Babysitting Clown...
Skills I can teach you include the following:
- How to read JIRA tickets
- How to write JIRA tickets
- How to check colleagues' calendars
- How to define requirements in English and not some sort of technologically challenged caveman language
- How NOT to do any programming (since I don't have time for that anymore)
And many, many more! Inquire within!4 -
When you finally see a series of ✓'s across all tests - today is a good day!
Now to write a whole bunch more that......, that dickhead past @C0D4 didn't do.10 -
Trying to get my 'patience for Idiots' threshold back up to 15 minures. Not easy.
The problem is - you need to listen to them talking for 20 minutes before 30 seconds of relevant and actual info comes up.4 -
Hello fellow devRanters, look what I found in our API constants on this fine day!
LIST_USERS: '/api/GetUsers',
USERS_WITH_QUERY:'/api/GetUsers?Query=',
MORE_USERS: '/api/GetUsers?Token=',
You get what you pay for, you get what you pay for, you get what you- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGGGGG!!!!!!!!!7 -
So after @danacus commented here https://devrant.com/rants/1860006/... about a command called "tp" to teleport from one directory to another, I felt the urge to write myself such tool. This was one of my first pure bash projects and I'm happy to announce that it finally is finished! I really hate self-promotion but since I use this tool in every single bash session and find it very convenient, I decided to share it with y'all. I'd be super glad if you give me your opinion about it!
git clone https://github.com/bitteruhe/tp16 -
Jest? It's the perfect name for a testing library, because I certainly feel like a clown! 🤡
#clowndrivendevelopment4 -
Serious question for anybody who has dared to understand manager-speak: Do you know what a 'Task Rewind' is? We have it in our documentation, but google gives me no help as to what the hell it could mean.
...Or should I just take my original gut feeling and classify this as yet another word for the clown dictionaries?6
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