I got attacked by ransomware and was asked for money...

I sent them my salary slip..They removed it from my computer immediately..

I wanna cry.

Linux is love...

My new wallpaper 😂🙌

How to remove WannaCry: Russian edition

After an hour of debugging, realised that I wrote =+ instead of +=.

I will just to go in a corner and cry for a minute. brb guys.

#wannaCry :
*US engineers trying to find antivirus.
*Europe engineers finding preventing tools
*Meanwhile Indian engineers already updated their resume with " Worked/Implemented anitvirus for wannyCry"

Meanwhile. .
Indian HR consultants asking for minimum 5 years experience in handling "wannacry"

*tries not to cry*
*cries a lot*

Why drink and drive when you can code and cry?

I used to think I was gonna be a Steve Jobs or a Bill Gates. Now I just fap and cry.

Far Cry 4. I have an "undefined" and I'm not afraid to use it!

Hear the out cry

Python is going to die

I laugh and cry at the truth of this.

An average day:

1. Start working on feature
2. Finish feature
3. Feature doesn't work
4. Spend 7 hours refactoring and fixing imaginary bugs
5. Add the 3 characters that were missing
6. Laugh and cry, laugh and cry...

- Everything works 10 minutes before presentation
- Nothing works on presentation
- Cry myself in toilet after presentation

Observed my bf spending at least a half hour browsing devRant in bed, so asked him what he'd do if devRant didn't exist anymore.

His simple reply?

"Cry"

May God help him tomorrow for the scheduled downtime... ;)

My boss just designed this and asked me to implement it, without asking for any input.

I was a UX designer at my previous job. This makes me want to cry.

Sleep❌
Coffee❌
Bugs✅
Fixed bugs✅
More bugs✅
Curse bugs✅✅✅✅
Fixed bugs✅
Commit✅
Cry✅✅
18 hours✅
Heading home for sleep ❕

This makes me cry and laugh at the same time

1. Have idea
2. Write down features that thing should have
3. Make a wireframe design
4. Write down possible names for it
5. Open GitHub-Repo
6. Never start coding it
7. Cry

Don't cry.
Cry, cry a lot.

LOL Do you remember this virus

Bought a second hand coffee machine and went to get it by bike.

Put it in the back and drove home. It fell off somehow like a hundred meters before arriving home and its leaking now.

😭😞

> Be me
> Be on 24-hour emergency service
> Post rant about stuff breaking during said service
> Forget to turn off notifications
> Get awoken in the middle of the night by phone
> Think shit is going down
> View message
> People are liking my rant
> Try not to cry

Testing in production??

Don't know whether to laugh or cry!!😂😥

My wife asked me to clean, cook and watch the child.
When she returned home she started screaming hysterically and cry.
Who understands women...

When u get to know u need 300 ++ to get a stress ball

"Your app is like an onion. The more you peel back, the more it makes you want to cry"

Don’t you just love it when you do the following in a prod database 😅

UPDATE table SET someImportantField= NULL; WHERE abc = 123;

If I don’t laugh right now I’m going to cry.

HBO, the network that owns Game of Thrones, one of the highest grossing and most popular shows, still use Flash for their web streaming service.

I cry in dothraki

->Be me
-> Learns computer science
-> Be like above average in class
->"Let's take this to the next level"
->Joins hacker rank
->does the beginners problems.
->hmm that was easy af
->Checks the "easy" problems
->Go to a corner & cry. ;__;

My teacher was presenting and her pp crashed. She just continued with her presentation but her desktop was showing. I instantly noticed she had a "stickynote" with her login details for our grading system and I tried telling her to put her laptop to sleep or anything but she got mad at me for interupting class and threw me out of class. My revenge will be showing admins the picture of her desktop ;)

My company uses SVN so I cry every time I see a git joke

> be me
> install linux on encrypted drive
> takes 8 hours to fill the drive with fake data so theres no chance of data leakage
> save encryption password to phone
> phone doesnt actually save password
> realize you dont have access to pc anymore
> cry
> reinstall linux

Don't cry on weekends.

Cry on your workdays and get paid for it.

Don't let capitalism win.

Visual Studio 2017rc is so good that I'm beginning to hate 2015.
code preview, installation speed, startup without hiccups.
EVERYTHING IS SO FRIGGIN SMOOTH IMMA CRY.

Senior Devs made the Program Manager cry. Dev Lead did nothing to stop it from happening, Program Manager Lead was in shock.

!rant
!!success

Finally, my project is done!

(and apart from UI/UX polish and some rewording by marketing, everything is finished! Wooo!)

Now for the fun part of the project... 😭

Everyone says "Happy Coding!".
No one says "Cry Debugging!"

How to from hapiness 100 to 0 in seven simple steps:
1. Buy a new 2018 gaming laptop..
2. Install Linux on it for work..
3. Figure out your touchpad is not supported even by latest kernel rc..
4. Spend four days going through forums, bugzillas and overflows while messing around with recompiling kernel, drivers, configs and 3rd party libraries..
5. Lie down and pray someone will add support for your device in kernel in near future..
6. Try not to cry..
7. Cry, cry a lot..

My team was sharing an API key to our company's microservice containing all our customer data.

I say "was" because one team member accidentally published the key online so the security team disabled our key and won't give us a new one.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry

"I think I need to reinstall my python on ubuntu"

* proceeds to remove python
* ubuntu breaks
* tries to fix ubuntu
* ubuntu no longer goes to desktop
* cries
* tries not to cry
* cries a lot

Yeah moral of the story is never uninstall python (at least for ubuntu, idk other linux distros)

I live outside USA
Whenever I see someone posting
something like -
"My devRant stickers arrived!! Wooho see my devRant t-shirts ... "
That's the face I make

*Tries not to cry
Cries a lot

Why Apple?

Configuring my new MacBook Pro
• jre ✓
• jdk ✓
• Android studio ....
• let's see what we get when we type "git" in Terminal.. surprise!!! You have to download Xcode which is 5.30GB. Goodness. Can I cry now? 😭😭😭

I really dont get it when people cry over "when sending password in emails".

Had a customer today that wants us to send credentials on WhatsApp instead because it is "secure" instead of email, because email is insecure... .

Been a while since my last real proper rant.

Multiple projects. Business side going into panic mid. Devs are staying cool as usual.

We, devs, have to hold hands so they don't completely break down.

We are wasting precious time in order to rub their feelings.

Get. Your. Shit. Together.
Or atleast, go cry in a corner AND LET US FUCKING WORK.
STOP. FUCKING. SPAMMING.

Can't fucking work for more than 10 mins.
I go take a shit, I have 200 notifications when I'm back.

Omfg their lives must be so hard, really. How can you fucking go into full retard whenever there's a small roadblock.

DO. YOUR. FUCKING. JOB. And let me do mine.

As soon as you let us work, issues are going to be solved, you'll be less stressed and everything will be fine.

Keep asking the same questions over and over, arguing on non-critical things (who cares about wordings... it's 1min change) and the stress will only build up for everyone.

DAMN. Fuck off, fucking emotional idiots.

My Typical Project

1. Identify common problem
2. Investigate options
3. Come up with clever solution
4. Implement backend solution
5. Get fed up with current frontend
6. Investigate other frontend
7. Realize perpetual chaos in Javascript landscape
8. Lie down in a corner
9. Cry myself to sleep

Today, I dropped my 5900x while cleaning the computer. It's dead. pins got bent and one pin got loose.

I feel like crying... please send prayers and thoughts.

R.I.P AMD Ryzen 9 5900X 5900x 12 Cores 24 Threads 70 MB Cache 3.7 GHz up to 4.8 GHz. You will be missed.

5 hours on the call. No end in sight. Nothing in logs, errors, or captures. Want to cry.

I just spoke to somebody who said she has learnt jQuery and javascript is next on her list of things to learn.

It makes me want to cry.

*Starts compile*
...
...
can't find function foo
ld exited with status code 1

*confused*
*Reruns qmake*
*Compiles again*
...
...
can't find function foo
ld exited with status code 1

*very confused*
*switches compilers*
*compiles*
...
...
Worked!

*dafuq*
*switches back to the first compiler*
*compiles*
...
...
Worked!

*tries not to cry*

My son has started learning javascript at school, but he is complaining that all the $ signs are ugly! Yep, they're teaching the kids with jquery.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry 😱😱😱

>Have 64gb memeory stick with software and precious memories (back ups of childhood pictures and stuff)
>Go to girlfriend's house
>Let her borrow it because she needed it for photography (pictures in the TrueCrypt file take only about a quarter of the drive)
>Get dumped by girlfriend after a while
>Shrug and be a little sad
>Find out that i dont have a local copy of what was there
>Don't have courage to ask for it back or even speak to her
>Cry because of now gone data
>Cry because no back ups.

Moral of the story is dont fuck with your back up and also, don't give people precious data, even the ones you trust at the time.

I cry every tiem ;_;

Just typed a 2000 word passionate story about AI and the app refreshed itself before I managed to post it. I wanna cry :(:(:(

Sigh, I'll try again.

Heard a new euphemism today for interruptions: “spontaneous collaboration”
Laugh or cry...

I just went to a job interview and ended up declining their offer & I said thank you for the opportunity and their reply was, "I wish you hadn't wasted our time." It made me cry and it was SO unprofessional.

Started new job with presentation at 10:00. Went for lunch at 11:00. Was given access to source code at 12:00. Decided to quit at 13:00.

No regrets. Code was so bad that I wanted to cry.

Today at work while reading legacy code:

do {
...
} while(false)

Wanna cry and laugh at the same time

Your git commit history on your personal branch when you're freaking out and cry tears in joy because the code you spent the whole previous week on to somehow get it to work suddenly DOES work.

Or maybe I could build a C compiler and be responsible for ";" !
Making programmers cry and scream.

That make me cry😂

About to walk into a second round job interview. It will take my commute from an hour and a half to 15 minutes, be a much larger scale company and teams, with actual schedules and communication. I might actually cry if I get it.

How to trigger social justice warriors...

Stare at the screen blankly, regretting your life choice to become a dev, cry, start researching mcdonalds job ads. Then end up spending 3 hours on devRant falling in love with programming again and then realising you have just wasted 3+ hours on a left out curly bracket...

Sometimes I internally cry watching fellow devRanters ranting about so many awesome things. I wish I was a little smarter 😳

Made a colleague cry when I told him I'm leaving.

So much love...

Few days back it was just a meme but now it's a sad reality. About to cry now.

I want to cry.

I have gotten so used to code with dark themes (I even made Devrant from standard light to dark theme) that everytime i see someone with a light themed text editor, my eyes cry a bit.

I left for lunch early to drive five miles away to an abandoned parking lot so that I could cry about an email I received... this week has been fantastic.

I never touch my code if anyone else have made changes in them without asking me.

I cry like a bitch when I get home.

1) Schedule an hour for the meeting.
2) Tell attendees that any excess time will be for SSBB throwdowns. Fastest meeting ever.

Oh, you asked about being productive?
Making both Adam from frontend and Karen from HR cry at the same time is productive enough for me. 😊

Who's at fault for the recent Wanna Cry virus: The companies affected or Microsoft/NSA?

Personally, I think it's the companies affected. This is what happens when you try and be cheap when it comes to cyber security​.

Tip for implementing scrum in non-software development teams:

1. Cry

Coders cry...

... when they inherit a project that's parsing HTML using regular expressions.

You're never really lost until you have no internet and nano isn't installed .-.

Fuck life, fuck this society and especially fuck my brain - waking me up at 6 AM and immediately making me burst into tears because bipolar... I mean come on! I can't even sleep anymore?! I know it's hard falling asleep but waking me up just to cry? ...why...

I'm writing a huge program of identity management from two months, taking data from different sources and edit them to comply with a lot of cases. Today, my boss told me that he changes idea and my code is now useless... I would cry.

Metaprogramming maybe easy to write but is so fucking hard to read and harder to maintain. Why do people even like these dynamic languages anyway :-/

*a very loud and miserable groan which may be cry for help*

I hate my life right now.

I dont know to laugh or cry

My greatest skill?
Not to explode when the client asks something so utterly stupid that I dont know whether I should cry or laugh. Maybe both?

Did someone noticed that IBM celebrated the International Programmer Day with HTML???
I don't know whether to laugh or cry 😂😭

I fuckin love i3wm.
Especially on laptops. Not having to carry mouse around and being it so light, which saves you a lot of battery alongside with cpu/ram makes me wanna cry out of joy.

!rant

Need advice on coping with my father's passing . I was already very stressed out and had really bad focus. I feel lost now , I can't even cry the tears won't come out. Why can I cry for a stupid movie and not now...

Step 1 - Start with socket.io in NodeJS to create chat extension for browsers
Step 2 - Let's authenticate the users
Step 3 - Cry

f**king people asking to design admin panel colorfully with these f**king psd images, I was like literally crying inside, I have never seen such a damn f**king admin panel. f**k off managers

#AndroidDev protip:
1. Dump Android Studio and use Sublime for a week
2. Realize you don't actually know how to write java anymore
3. Cry

First draft of motivation letter done.

... Now, I'm gonna go cry in a corner and eat cake. In no particular order.

I felt the urge to fuckimg cry after losing my brain cels readign ths

Me: *overestimates tasks*
Me: *finishes task early*
*Is assigned new tasks*
Me:*Underestimates tasks based on previous experience*
Me:*fails to finish tasks by deadline*

I cry everytime...

I'm a guy and when the migraine hits me I feel like crying. Is it normal for a guy to cry, coz I'm not able to handle this pain.

worst message ever ...

I leave work feeling like I was beaten. Not just physically, I feel mentally beaten sometimes I want to cry.

Cassini made me cry.

when you have to mantain "onion code" the code that makes you cry!

You can't help it, just lie down and cry.
Maybe you'll choke or drown on your tears and finally end the suffering...

that turned very dark for some very odd reason (sorry 😅)

try {
boolean isOk = meetTheGirl("Anna");
if (isOk) {
kiss();
goHomeAndProgram();
}
else {
cry();
goHomeAndProgram();
nextDay();
pickUpAGirl();
}
} catch (Exception e) {
//I don't know. My life is so empty
}

> be me
> started using greentext on devrant a while ago
> semi successful rants
> people start using greentext too
> lookMomIDidIt.avi
> be happy
> no one knows I started it
> maybe it wasn't even me
> sit in shower
> try not to cry
> cry a lot

Shit. That's not a rant about coding

> fuck microsoft

When you celebrate fixing a bug then you realise.. You didn't fix the bug, you just changed it!

Jingle Bells
Printing's Hell
Think I'm gonna cry

I bought a new car, I cry every time I look to the radio switch ...
Why Volkswagen ?

if (!isset($woman))
{
$cry = false;
}

when a client asks for FTP access and you don't know whether to cry or panic....

those times... ;-;

I didn't write 1064 lines of tests so that you launch the script like a monkey without checking anything beforehand and cry because it throws tons of erros.

worst than having a bug with an error is having a bug without one..

The trick to balancing social and dev life life is training a deep learning algorithm to the point it gains sentience and the ability to feel real human emotions and becomes your best bud until it ultimately decides it would rather catalog images of mustard bottles.

Sometimes, after debugging/writing JS code, I sit back and cry 😢😭😭😭😭

Life's sometimes just amazing.. like those moments when you do "rm -rf /var" instead of "rm -rf var" and your whole system gets full of errors / unexpected behavior and random crashes.. Since I have project deadline tomorrow, really dunno should I cry or laugh right now

Does anyone still have CD/DVD Drive on their computer?

Today I was going through some old stuff and found a 2 x DVD Drive. Those memories made me cry.

Give up, start notebook, cry, yell, scream, pull hair out, close notebook, come back in a few months and finish it in one day. 😐

Raise your hand if your ready for the GDPR on the 25th may.

Raise your glass if your getting shitfaced so you don't have to think about how many ways you're not.

Kindly Uninstall me or I'll do it myself!!! 😤

Lay down
Try not to cry
Cry a lot

Look at blank file...cry....go to sleep....wake up...repeat

I am very sad, my laptop is no more now. I want to cry 😭😭😭

When you used hours to find an error, and then it dissapears after restarting Visual Studio.. Not sure if i should laugh or cry

...cry.

Sometimes I use "KillMe" or "FML" in my debugging strings as a silent cry against whatever-the-fuck has upset me.

How do you guys deal with being depressed?
I try to cry myself to sleep.

Fuck this day in particular.
Also it's probably my fault.
Oh well...

Code never lies,

Comments sometimes do... 🤔

So ... Yeah ... I survived a week in my holiday apartment with no wifi...

Now to wait for that phone bill 😂 oh well

Wow... Not sure where to post.. My wifi/internet speed is a joke in itself.. the kind that always makes me cry..

Cry and panic because they don't know the required technology to complete the task.

(We all go through this. Some people just cannot contain their emotions though).

TIL: Outlook now supports reactions to mails in the form of icons. Think: like/smile/cry/heart/etc.

Just like reactions to messages in any given chat application.

Don't get me wrong, I like and welcome this feature. It's just surprising to see this in... mail.

Debugging JS,

*uses chrome devtools*, breakpoints work, everything loads, can work on fixing bug

*uses firefox devtools*, takes more time than IE to show up, the UI doesn't show up, can cry in the corner.

Why is firefox debugger so bad :/

Most Softwares is written like an onion.
the more layers you peel off, the more you want to cry

This morning, i showed the communication manager how to use Photoshop (layer, image resize).

A year ago, I worked on the website, it has never been put online. The company's users never provided the content.

This afternoon, other people asked me where the site was, one year after!

I don't know whether to laugh of cry.

Ps : I'm sorry, my english level is low. I speak english as a cow speaks spanish.

Surrender
Cry myself to sleep in the corner of my ofgice table and have a dream about how to solve all my issues
Wake up
Forget the solution
Repeat

One of our clients codebase, once almost completely PHP, now officially contains more JS than PHP code. I don't know if we should celebrate or cry.

I may or may have reached peak performance now

Like what the fuck is up with these GitHub followers like sure I did work for a startup for months but hot damn 147.

I don't know if I should be mad or scared or cry or be happy.

I am officially told to make hacks to meet project deadline - oh by the way i will be supporting the application in production - should i smile or cry ?

Just a reminder that it’s ok to cry about anything ur brain wants to cry about

Being my first rant, I rant about all the stupid cry babies on this platform.

> laravel
> but also trans
> inside the fucking routes

Ok this is it that's where I cry

I just got fired. I don't know if I should laugh or cry, I'm finally free from that slow, obscure, shitty 20+ old dated system, but man, it really sucks to be fired.

I just wanna cry right now :(

/**
* // sad truth to everyone focusing only on age++ part :) IN YOUR FACES!
*/
public void birthday() {
age++;
ttl--;
}

I had a dream that I was dual-booting Linux and Windows together 😨.

Thank God it was just a dream.

Management has bequeathed that it shall hit prod tomorrow, the developers cry 'but it's not ready`. Hush little dev for tomorrow we hit another payment milestone

When you do a login encryption using AES, rot13, Base64, rot13...
AES Password is also encrypted using rot13, Base64, rot13.

AND SOMEHOW IT DOESNT WORK FOR EVERYONE.

I cry

I don't need a relationship to be in an emotional rollercoaster.

Javascript makes me cry every day but it still is my favorite language

So I was watching Your Lie in April while waiting for Android to build

Let's just say that wasn't a pleasant experience after NDK OOM'ed the exact time the saddest part happened

IM NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING ;_;

1 day ago my wife's father died, I'd like to do checkout on this repo called life, but we can't, I loved that man as my father, I have to be strong to keep my wife strong, I cry when I'm not in home. Code it's like my beer. Cheers!

Awwwwh this one makes me cry too

While(work){
Cry();
}

Opened my PC today...found my local disk empty...170gigs of data lost...
Feel like crying...hope Recuva works

1. Push a bug with a bug fix.
2. Fix the bug created during previous bug fix.
3. Push the bug fix which solves the bug created during previous bug fix.

Try not to cry...
Cry a lot 😭 😭

find happiness in everything

not to cry at lonely nights

spend good times with friends

Started a new Factorio run.

Started implementing logic gates in it.

Started to think if I was half as OCD and productive in my code, I'd be an awesome developer.

Started to cry.

(for those of you who never heard of it, Factorio is the best building sim game ever)

!dev
Was looking for an anime to watch this evening, looking into netflix recommended:
Guilty Crown
Nah i dont wanna cry today
Charlotte
I said no crying
Clannad
....
Angel Beats
I SAID NO CRYING OKAY?

Today I saw one of the most detailed commit messages:

[+] further implementations

Don´t know if I sould laught or cry. ^^

I fell in love with Three.js.
I already know that in a week I will cry, tear my hair out and give up until I will discover another amazing js framework, as a loop. But yeah, it looks interesting

That moment when your code works and the results are flooding in. But still waiting for something to fail

If you ever want to make a LAMP stack developer cry, just tell him he's got to work with NGINX and PostgreSQL.

When you look back at your shit spaghetti code you only wrote 3 days ago, and you don't know whether to laugh or cry.😆😢

I got back from my holiday, back to work, and have spent 20 minutes of every hour at work waiting for my laptop to build while I navigate this “codebase” to put a teeny feature change in. A one liner.

Honestly everything about this makes me want to cry.

Me waiting for my neural network model to finish fitting. Omg, what do I need? A computer the size of the enigma machine just FILLED with graphics processors? And my validation accuracy rate is falling as I wait. Imma cry!

Cry, cry, headaches and cry again

Switching from a RecyclerView.Adapter to a CursorAdapter in my Android app...

Definitely when my boss got me super hyped up that we were gonna start using MongoDB/node.js/angular or react, I spent hours learning the languages.

Then he comes up to me a few weeks later and decides to “pivot”

I wanted to cry. Back to coldfusion

When you have to work on 3 different projects and start writing to do lists for them and wanna cry looking at the amount of work that you need to get done in a month.

wtf! the star trek: picard trailer made me (37m) literally cry out of sheer nostalgia.

Office internet down :/ boredddd

I come back after a week of vacation and everything is broken.
What does Jenkins say?
Jobs disabled days ago.
- Yeah it hangs randomly and is blocking other projects.

Don't know if I'm gonna cry or laugh like a maniac, maybe both.

No data no cry ~ Dev Marley

Oh man.. the front end on this project makes me want to cry

* Start maintaining/upgrading new project at work
* Read book on best practices for the framework
* quickly realise all the "don't do this" parts of the examples in the book is EXACTLY how everything in the project is done
* cry self to sleep

Have I ever mentioned my undying love of NullPointerException?
I love those so fucking much I would give up my non existent social life for it.
This is a cry for help please help

"Buy the best and you only cry once." - Miles Redd

I see a lot of people on this weekly rant telling they go lunch, read a book, play guitar...

And then i look at me, working in an office, only being able to silently cry in front of the screen.

Best way to get unstuck......Cry...a lot..

There is this colleague working in my team so if I ask her to Todo something for me she will do it but will respond to my email just few minutes before sign off time (4:30pm). Next day during the standup meeting she will inform the manager that the task has completed and it's in my plate now. Since she responded to me just few minutes before signoff time I was not able to deliver the task that I was suppose todo on that day.

Be so excited
At the end, cry

Jenkins on a Windows server where i have to use Powershell is going to make me cry today

SambaCry is the wanacry for linux

Whenever I need to make any changes related to React-Router, I just curl up in the corner of my room and cry :(

Failed another programming intervie. Didn't expect the 2D array question. Feel so bad. Just wanna cry and give up. I need to get better..fast.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long

You either spend time organising the code even for a “small project” which “will never change” or cry at your mess one year later

Nothing as painful as working together with a front-end guy who uses spaces for their works and you use Tabs.
I've been battling with Python Indentation error since morning

VMWare be like: "hey lemme just benchmark your primary host disk there... wait a sec..."

*selenium tests continue with 1 keystroke per seconds*
*slow clap*
i'm gonna cry in the corner of my room now.

I wanted to cry so much when I saw my original 2-method interface turns to have 34 methods of unrelated shits.

You join a new team. You find that the code is horrendous. Do you

A. Run away while in probation?
B. Start complaining about it and have the others hate you?
C. Cry silently and hope things will get better?

Feels like such a waste of my talents when I need to solve someone elses coding problem that someone is doing for a school assignment in their first term

> lose weight
> get more than one client
> learn to drive and get a car
> try not to cry too much when I can’t afford the Tesla I want
> get my passport sorted and go on my first ever holiday (no joke).

This onion made me cry

😤

When you make a simple call to customer service but you end up rambling to the poor rep on the other end for nearly an hour...

By the end couldn't tell if she wanted to laugh, cry, or just drink a pint of bleach.

Anyone else feel like having a good cry tonight ?

When you almost cry before you sleep coz you hate your job and feel when you wake up your gonna lose another day of your life but your not getting any good offers...