Boss: I need to demo our product but it looks smaller on my laptop.
Me: That is because you have a 1920x1080 monitor and your laptop is 1280x800
Boss: Is that something you can fix?
Me: No you will need a new laptop, but the company has a sales laptop with that resolution.
Boss: No just get the company credit card and buy me one today!
*Bosses son hears*
Bosses Son: Here take the sales laptop
Boss: Will that be quick enough
Bosses Son: It has a 8 core i7 Processor, 16GB ram and a dedicated GPU
Boss: *looks at me confused*
Me: Your demoing a web browser, that will be more then ok. But were using chrome so 16GB of ram will be pushing it.
*me and bosses son laughs*
Boss: Can we upgrade it?

I had just started my new job and deleted 3 years of data that the client had spent over £450,000 collecting 😱

another developer used my PC to quickly access the clients database while I was out the room as I had sql management studio open. I went back to my PC thinking I was connected to my local database, did a few truncate tables to test my software and :0 minutes later I get a call asking why there was no data on the server!

Thank god for backups 😓

lol #fakenumber

At middle school they kept on banning the flash game sites so I made one my self but it was called something like mathhomework.somefreehost.com, the landing page looked like a homework site and all the flash games were called something like problem_1.swf. I use to sell logins to class mates at like £2.50.

Here are my rubber ducks, 5 days old

<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
....

Lock computer when AFK!!!

Me teaching a co-worker programming.
Him:"So what exactly is the difference between Java and JavaScript?"
Me:"About the same as the difference between cars and carpets."
Thank you guys for teaching me how to answer that.

Stack overflow

This 😆

F***ing windows, spent ages repairing a database table only for windows to bloody BSOD at 97% complete 😡

Now I feel relieved...

Gets email from work

"New password policy introduced from next month

Passwords will have to include:
- a capital
- a lower case
- a number
- a symbol
- be at least 8 characters

Passwords will be be changed every 60 days with a new password not previously used"

Everyone starts moaning, there I am laughing as I'm in Linux and off their domain controller, and my windows laptop is a BYOD laptop and they don't want it on the domain :D

<!-- You shouldn't be able to read this -->

Seniors: Welcome to the team. Feel free to ask anything if you need help. There is no such thing as stupid questions.

New Dev: Sure. Thanks.

*a few minutes later*

New Dev: How to comment a code?

Seniors: Google it....and please don't ask stupid questions.

All my code is hacked together and barely works and is nowhere near shameless. But I'm pretty proud of my hardware hacks. Like the sticker that holds the casing on my laptop together.

How would you get your "Cash prize" if you reported anonymously ...

After 5 years of neglect I have finaly found some time to work on an old project of mine.

Not a bad view to work from either

"So we have 20GB of data, we need to show ALL of it on the graph ... oh yea it needs to work on mobile"

LOL good marketing

God virgin media are useless:

Me: “hello how long is left in my contract”
VM: “you have three months left, may I ask why”
Me: “this is now the 3rd day in two weeks I have had no broadband I’m looking to swap to someone more reliable”
VM: “ I’m sorry to hear that I’ll check our system to see what I can do for you”
2 mins on hold
VM: “hello mr day we can offer you a special offer of doubling your internet speed for only £5 a month”
Me: “how does that help with the fact I have no internet”
VM: “well it won’t but we have an engineer looking at the problem and we estimate it will be fixed by 17:05”
Me: “thanks but no thanks, what’s the early exit fee”

😡🤬😡

So 10 months ago i moved from Cambridge (UK) to Guildford (UK), due to moving this distance i started working from home and going into the office once a week.

Now after 10 months i have finally got my home office how i first imagined it. Everything runs from my laptop which is located on the shelving unit away from my desk. Everything plugs into it via 1 USB lead.

Setup:
27" 2560 x 1440 monitor flanked by two 1280 x 1024 monitors.
Asus Laptop (i5-6300HQ, 12GB ram, 512GB SSD + 1TB HDD)
Home PC (i5-7600, 8GB ram, GTX 770)

Accessories:
StarTech USB hub - This allows me to plug my three monitors, keyboards, mouse and everything else into my laptop.
KVM switch - Allows me to swap between my Work PC and Home PC with a click of a button

Finally got myself setup in my new office today, before there was three of us cramped into a tiny 3mx4m office, now only two of us in a much larger office.

Just got the first pull request to my open source project :D

A mate couldn't remember a IP address so asked me to make him a domain to make it easier for him. His new domain is xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx.somewebsite.com (xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx is the IP)

It was about 10 at night I thought I was the only one at work. I had my favourite music playlist on, there I was singing and dancing to the music with my headphones on.

With me sitting in a position not seeing the door, my boss and a client walked in and was in hysterics laughing at me 😂

So after being in this role for 4 years we have finally got to the point where there are 0 outstanding bugs/issues with our software.

Just found another forum message from someone that doesn't understand Java and JavaScript. They said JavaScript is the code that Java runs....I thought we fixed these people.

Upgrade on Friday 😬

For about 6 months when I started coding php I didn't think indentation was worth it so all of my files were like
}
}
}
}
}

Windows: You have low power (5% = like 5 mins)
Me: Goes to shit down
Windows: You can only shut down if you update
Me: I'm not risking that *holds power button down and smothers it to death*

I had a 6 hour flight home so thought I would do some coding. We take off, get to cruising altitude, I get my laptop out and boom windows update. It's like they know the most inconvenient time possible FML

Does anyone else feel this way? Especially with no formal training?

Definitely working from home.

Me fixing bugs on our legacy system

Love reading through old code and seeing things like this

var hasFailed = (errors.length > 0)?true:false;

Makes you wonder what their thought process was when writing it :D

Our IT department is almost as bad as apple

Work: there is little work for our freelancer we're getting rid of him at the end of the year
Me: are you sure, that will put a lot of work on my schedule.
Work: I'm sure you can handle it
*two weeks later*
Work: have you finished feature xyz yet
Me: nope had a server crash today so pushed it back
Work: why didn't you get "free lancers name here" to do it for you
Me: I could of if you didn't fire him, he could of also done the other features you want too
Work: ah ok

Sales: We NEED to view the minutely data but showing 10 years of data at a time
Me: you do realise that would be like 2 days of data per pixel even on one of largest monitor resolutions
Sales: your a clever guy I'm sure you can work something out
Me: well I can consolidate the data so you ...
Sales: No we need to see the temperature for every minute

I just found this in some code I'm now supporting

for (var i = 0; i<1; i++) {
...
}

Reviewing bosses code and had these two if statements with no logic between
if (someVar) {
if (someVar) { // double check someVar is true just in case
}
}

Was asked to pop down to my bosses office for 5 minutes, turns out I was interviewing someone. Not one word of warning was given to me prior the phone call asking me to come down.

Who else finds themselves typing esc + :wq in there IDE after using vim for a while.

I just installed some anti-virus, little did i know it was also going to install their 'System "Speed up" software'

Was using 50% of my Disk Usage 40% of my ram and 100% of one of my CPUs ... great job at speeding up my system

I just found this bit of code in our product :P

setInterval(function () {
$("body").find("div, td").replaceText("oldProductName", "newProductName" );
}, 50);

So the CEO called me down about a super urgent bug that needs to be fixed or we will loose several hundred thousand pounds of business.

I rush down to his office and there he has a graph "look the values are barely moving i would expect the values to be more erratic this time of day"

*i look at the graph*

"Errrr your looking at 02:00 in the morning, it's 14:00"

Boss: ahh good spot *looks at 14:00* yea that looks good, great job.

I installed ArchLinux on my smartphone thanks to termux, and now i kinda feel like a god, but don't know what to do.
I'm bored.

I leave my laptop for 30 minutes and it decides to update 😤

Hallucinations of my father that keep taking control of my psyche and making me hack things I don't remember or shooting me in the head to break down my sanity.

Started work on redeveloping a module for our system, I look at the database document and see two fields, one for date and one for time. Both are full date time and the data is stored like so:
Date I want to store: 2016-04-09 05:54:00
Date: 2016-04-09 00:00:00
Time: 1899-01-01 05:54:00

Checking database table with 100m+ transactions ... no indexes or primary key :/

var date = new Date();
var month = date.getMonth();
console.log(month); // 2

who thought it would be a good idea to start the months of at 0 rather then 1

Got my stress-ball + stickers today :D

Now where to put the stickers 🤔

An hour before my Mathematical Expression and Reasoning for Computer Science final...

Have reviewed all the material available but past exams are useless because new_prof == new_format.

This is not even a rant, I'm just scared because to get into the major I need an average between this and programming of 82. I fucked up in the second midterm and got a 50/100. Everything was so perfect (at least above 80) and now I need more than 70 in this final. I'm feel I can get more than 70 but I had the same feeling during the midterm I fucked up.

Why did Nintendo stop making the Wii U? It was time for a Switch!

3 BSOD in a hour at a customer site ... Linux will be installed tomorrow

When your team uses both scss & less in the same project

Dear ISP,
Thank your for throttling my internet right in the middle of a hurricane! Now not only does Netflix not work and GitHub take forever, but I can't even get live weather updates. Time to code using cave paintings I guess till the power goes out.

devRant already replace SoundCloud as my orange app in the main screen...

To be fair, SoundCloud was just there to complete the rainbow.

Rant: this app told me that my rant would be safe if I closed the Post Rant window (since I can't post more than one rant per hour or something) but it didn't save my awesome tags! I feel betrayed.

Marketing : Do you think we can implement this feature in a system?

Dev : Hmm....*checking specs*...This will...

Marketing : *interrupts* we have already signed a contract with a client.

Dev : ugh......

Really not sure if showing devRant to my colleague was a good idea or not :|

Sudo apt-get remove --purge hurricane-irma

So someone wants me to sign a NDA so they can use my open source software (MIT licence) in there software.

They also NEED to minify there php to save on storage and to boost performance. 😂

Within 20 minutes of posting a question on stack overflow it was down voted - with no explanation. Fucking hate that site

When you look at some production code that has been released for 4 years and find a HUGE security, like catastrophic here is my server hack me flaw 😁

Happy Christmas Eve, Everyone🎄
May you all be prepared for upcoming awkward family gathering. 🎅

Spec'ing out a data analysis tool for several billion transactions and I got this when sending the final spec to the client.

Client: "I don't see why it takes so long, I downloaded this template from theme forest and edited it in dreamweaver, it only took 3 hours"

People with "I am a senior, only I have to be right" mindset are really fustrating to work it.
It is not that hard to accept the truth. No one can be right all the time and no one gonna look down on you for that. You don't have to shove off-topic stuffs down the other people's throat when you realize you might be wrong.

Tesco’s scan as you shop runs using Windows apparently

Today, I wrote a code to manipulate children.

I propose a list of interesting readings. Not limited to developing.

Yes, I'm in need of something new to read...

I'll start in the comments, feel free to comment new readings or critique the ones proposed.

So we decided to use Monday evenings as a development night for our game, we are currently down the pub enjoying the sun. Maybe next Monday

Want to annoy a co-worker, replace a semi colon with a Greek question mark (U+037E) 😈

So last week I ranted about the hours I was working, great start this week I'm up at 03:00 to go up north, not going to get back till 20:00 ish. Tomorrow I have to be in Wales for 09:00 so going to have to be up at 04:00 for a 5 hour travel time. Check my emails and my boss says after I get back from Wales tomorrow can we have a design and specification meeting about a "super urgent" product that we have to develop. Oh and Thursday I have to prep everything for going live with a new product Friday.

about 6 years ago I was working for a large consulting company on a government project. I put in a change for a stored procedure that hard coded the partition to 0, except 0 didn't exist on production, just on test. several thousand government employees couldn't access it for a day. 😞

watched first two episodes of mr. robot and it seems pretty good so far. does it go like other hacker shows/movies or does it stay good?

So we're looking for a new developer, my boss sends me an email with a subject "Intresting CV". It was for a office clerk who altered a Wordpress website for the company they use to work for

Errr, i was not expecting this when i went on SO

Memory leak. Fuck off

12,000-line DAO file 💀

@ cineworld tonight and I see this, what if your between 15 and 17?

My boss had a 50 page word document where he add any bugs he has found (he likes to test before it goes to QA) we then have to read that document for any changes (hi-lighted in blue) then add them to our bug tracking system. Any updates that are made on the ticket we have to add to the word document.

We tried letting him use our bug tracking tool but he hated using it as the padding on the navigation links was too big. We would have to redesign the 3rd party tool just for him

A cannon was fired before it was even loaded.

#js

when you tell your boss 'we need to talk' and he looks genuinely worried 😀

Bargain!

@dfox i have a devRant Idea.
Achievements - Kind of like Xbox achievements etc ...
For example: (Bronze, Silver, Gold, Platinum)

Total Likes: 2k, 5k, 10k, 25k
Likes On a post: 100, 250, 500, 1000
Likes on a comment: 10, 25, 50, 100
Total Rants: 15, 50, 100, 500
Total Comments: 50, 150, 400, 1000
Weekly Rant: Top 10, Top 5, Top 3, Number 1
Monthly Rant (most popular rants that month): Top 10, Top 5, Top 3, Number 1

Work want me to use wordpress :(

Went to buy a CPU from CeX ... maybe not!

swag link says you need 20 +1's for stickers and 175 +1's for ball from each post. clicking on Learn More it then says you need 15 +1's for stickers and 150 +1's for ball from each post.
How about some stickers for spotting a content issue?

Went for a job interview and they used spaces rather then tabs!!! Walked straight out of there!

(^ Sarcasm it really doesn't bother me as it's just a setting on my ide)

Need to look at socket.io documentation and their site is down :(

When a password hint tool throws an error saying your password is too weak, you then remove a symbol and it now works 👌

Pro of not using Git

* No git conflict

*sigh* woke up did a data export for the customer, send it to them then they reply "thanks but it's next weekend we wanted the data export not this one" checked the email and they were correct.

So I'm called down to the office the other day for a meeting, I get there and my boss says "hi this is John Doe he has applied for the developer role, can you give him the technical interview" had no time to prep, my boss didn't even give me a copy of his CV

After ten years of working sh*t jobs I finally got the chance to study CompSci at a top university... All the kids look at me as if I've been programming for years, truth is I just study a lot because my scholarship requires me to get B+ or above.

Having to pay a "Setup fee" for your hosting that you have had for the last 3 years ... what do they need to setup 🙄

me right now:

while (me.onHoliday) {
wisdomTooth.x--;
wisdomTooth.y++;
me.ingest(new Painkillers());
}

My first proper holiday in several years, swear my body won't let itself rest!

Just found this great JQuery selector in a bit of code a freelancer wrote:

var showErrorFor = $('[name="newPass"]').attr('name')

Use the terminal inside ide or external?

had an interview at a place that went good at the technical part but I didn't do great at their 'abstract' questions. the guys interviewing were complete stone faced as well, no personality, pretty sure I wouldn't have liked working there anyways. a few years later and they are still looking for people. the recruiter rings up and I said I wouldn't want to re-interview unless the process had changed. he guaranteed me it had. so I went back in and it was exactly the same. exactly the same technical questions, followed by more abstract questions. different guys but same no-personalities. never going back

So Friday evening decided to "Update and Shut Down" my window 10 laptop.

I come in Monday morning and turn it on ... "Working on updates" So far its been 15 mins and its 27%.

Oh and my other laptop at home decided to restart itself and apply updates and stayed at "Applying Update 100%" for 35 minutes, luckily i was able to watch Glastonbury via my Xbox as my GF would not of been happy missing Ed Shearan :P

How hard would it be for MS to say "Look this update is going to take 45 minutes, do you want to wait"

(Saturday morning)
Me: I've never been so long without exercising (since before this, my first winter), I should get in shape now that this God forsaken weather is finally reaching livable levels.

(some time later at the gym)
Also me: You've always been in good shape, why stop with just chest, let's do some arms and shoulders.

(48 hours later, Monday morning)
I had to turn my whole torso to look if any car was coming while walking to the library, moved like terminator because of the massive neck muscle pain, suffered through the pain of setting up all my study material to the realize (just now) I can't even fucking look down to my notebook... Can I be more stupid?

We make a small server product with a web based admin system, as we were going to have limited customers who will use this (usually just the engineers) and this was not on the www. We dropped all support for all browsers other then chrome/firefox. No more IE/safari bugs for us XD

Ran out of mobile data, go to top it up and it's £3.00 for 100MB or £9 for 1GB ... I'll just wait 3 days with no internet

I was at a car boot sale (mix between a flea market and yard sale for the Americans out there) the stall next to me was selling a PC tower, monitor, keyboard and mouse for £10. So all day I was trying to sell my old toys (I was 9 at the time) but only made £5.

At the end of the day I went to the stall and asked if he would take £5 for it, he then game me it for free as he saw me trying to sell my toys all day.

Re-Factoring old code and i find this beauty

$('.modal [name="port"]').attr('name')

My most humbling experience was finding the source code online to the original Pokemon games. It was right after I had finished my first text based Linux console game and I was looking up other programs source codes just for shits and giggles. Most of them were simple and I learned a few simple tricks but the red and blue Pokemon were the first codes I saw that fascinated me. The addressing, the memory allocation, even the simple audio processing was simply genius. So many unique innovations and techniques. If I achieve 1/5th of the skill I found in those files, I can die a happy programmer!

exec("mysqldump -u root -pxxxx ".$_GET["table"]);

My boss develops with access 2000 and uses variable width arial font. 🤢

I have a new personal project that I hope I'll share with you guys one day. It just came to me. A fog simulation for a window manager such that it has fog behind the transparent console while you code and the fog goes in front when the terminal is locked. How about it?

So I can't get 2G where I live, like 1 mile away from a telephone mast yet I'm in the middle of the Wales country side and I have 4G

Got my first job, 3rd year student from my country took me in to help making an app for a company in Texas... All the other guys are from 4th year or graduate school. Feeling nervous, let's hope I don't fuck up.

Devrant freezes when switching to different app then back again. A bit random though, has happened a couple of times but can't reproduce it.

A programme I have to maintain (and not allowed to optimise or change):

1) read input from serial connection
2) store data in MySQL database
3) every day convert to CSV
4) store on Windows file share
5) process CSV in access 2000
6) store in MsSQL database

When it was first developed, I said to te developer to store it straight from serial to MsSQL but out boss wanted it to follow the above spec.

He has now left and I have to maintain it

At what point do you leave?
I totally get Amazon's principle of 'disagree and commit' but how many disagreements with your COO, CEO, does it take to make you say:
Fuck this, I'm out of here

OMG... I want to thank my mother for changing my diapers for many years, my brother for all the games he no longer plays, my wife for actually making money, my plant for the awesome smell, God for maybe doing something (I guess), thanks @dfox, @trogus, and each one of you guys that deemed my rants worthy of your ++.

Started work at 05:00 to catch a flight, just finished work now (20:00)

Tomorrow morning i have to be up at 03:30 to catch a flight back, my boss has also booked me in with a all day meeting with our largest client tomorrow so won't be leaving the office until 18:00.

Atleast im going to the midnight viewing of Capt. America tomorrow (if I'm awake)

jenkins tests passing but travis failing. now travis passing but jenkins failing, aargh!

more beer needed...

After 8 hours of carefully installing Gentoo in my laptop I ended up with a... Completely unusable OS. Guess I'll try again tomorrow, apparently I didn't set up the kernel with the appropriate drivers.

Made a node program that connects to a development board (like a raspberry pi) via rs232 and installs an image automatically.

I'm trying to investigate why chrome keeps crashing after i implemented web sockets to a web app.

I used windows perfmon to see the memory usage over night.

The usage between 17:30 and 01:50 is expected behaviour as this part of the app is a live data graph of the last 48 hours.

Now i have to find out why the app doubles in memory twice in a hour.

My permanently mounted sticker duck to explain my way out of coding errors.

The number of services you need to grok for full AWS certification...

So I'm a "Web Application Developer" but I have to go out on site whilst a trained engineer sits in the office doing nothing. Everything I can do on site I can do from my office with teamviewer. Hit the M25 at 09:00 and will hit it again at 17:00 ... not a fun day

Just sitting around waiting for a 220GB Database to import, if I had a spare PCI-E port I could have used a 240GB NVMe PCIe SSD but now I have to use an old Seagate 500gb HHD. Gonna be a while.

<?php
define("NOW", date("Y-m-d H:i:s", time());
/* ..... more code ..... */
$nowUnix = strtotime(NOW);

When your forced to change your "Development Process" on a weekly basis because everyone has a better idea

Working on a very large project that has been going on for 6 months and will run for 18 more.

The day before our bimonthly meeting with the client the PM decides to walk out and quit without telling anyone. Now we're left to try and figure out what he was doing, as most of it was poorly documented it's gona be a pain.

I learned C with a K&R copy a friend gave me years ago. Now at University we in CompSci get taught in Python the first year and Java next while the engineers start with C and (I'm guessing) move on to assembly later on.

This friend comes to me all worried because he has to submit the next day a working Reversi game for the console written in C. Turns out the game was divided among two labs and he failed to submit the first one.

The guy is smart but once a week or so, when we met to smoke a joint and relax with some other friends, he was always talking about how he would prefer something like law but that would be bad business back in Egypt.

Back to the game, I get completely into it. First hour checking all the instructions he was given, then reviewing the code he wrote and copied from Internet. We decide start from scratch since he doesn't really get what the code he copied do. It took us 10 hours only stopping to eat but we get all the specifications of both labs perfectly.

A week after that he comes to me: "my TA said your code is the ugliest shit he's ever seen but he gave me a perfect score because it passed all the tests". I'm getting better (the courses I'm taking help me a lot) but what really made me happy is that he solved the next lab by himself (Reversi wasn't the first time I helped him, only the first time he was absolutely lost). Now he actually gets excited about coding and even felt confident for his programming final.

No more talking about being a lawyer after those 10 hours, totally worth it.

Dockerize all the things! 🐳🐋

when github autocorrects my pull request message that contains the word splunk.
(or when devrant also decides to)

in the hospital with surgery and our deployment goes wrong, so glad I work with really good people!

So glad i moved from a desktop PC to a laptop for development. I still have 2 workstations (one at home and one at work) with 3 screens, mechanical keyboard + mouse. But if i ever have to demo to a client/PM i just un-dock and take my laptop to them. Plus if the office is loud i just go to another room.

PROBLEM:
We need to log out phone calls in and outlet of the company

How we wanted to do it:
Use node.js to read the serial port from the phone system then store the data into the MsSQL database

Eventual solution:
1) Read serial port
2) store in local MySQL database
3) every 3 minutes create a CSV file containing the last 3 minutes of calls and store on a Windows shared directory
4) have a access 2000 programme collect these files every 30 minutes
5) insert into MsSQL database

Blockchain
Or at least I hope so

the cake is a lie

Spent the day with people I work with developing an Alexa skill to kick off a Jenkins job. Fun!

A friend of me said that intel Pentium and i3 is the same, that all laptops with intel`s logo have the same processor, you just have to view the info. of yours...

a few ideas for the future:

1) When you have just unlocked the ability to use a new item for your avatar send a notification i.e.
"XXXXXX just +1 Your comment, you can now get a pet tiger!"
or
"XXXXXX just +1 Your comment, you can now choose a new t-shirt"

2) Rant categories, i.e. Clients, colleagues, OS, jokes, !rant etc...

3) the ability to view more then the last 30 rants of a users profile

Best thing about adulting, having half a freezer full of ice cream and cones in the pantry...

Latest bug from our testing Department.

They think it may be a database issue why they can't save 0.00 degrees

On holiday skiing in France and all I can hear as I come down the mountain is the ring tone I assign all work related contacts.

Get to lunch and see 10 missed calls ... I will be saying "I had no signal on the mountain" a lot when I get back

!rant
So I got bored and decided to drop some Easter egg cats into Google trouble reports because why not? Well I sent one off on regular Google Allo and it ran this search. None of my other cats did anything like this even with other black cats. Any ideas?

Installation progress bars that lie....

Asked us to build a car and later complain because it cannot fly.
And then, expect us to turn into a plane in 3days?

Has to fix a bug in our old products web interface, how did I ever put up with it. In some places it has 7 nested iframes. It is also some of the worst code I have ever seen, no user input is sanitised plus there is no structure to the code, try looking for a CDs element without going into chrome dev tools is impossible as there are 52 separate CSS files

As a web developer i've never been able to use this as an excuse but now i can use the fact im compiling code as a reason for doing nothing. :P

When commenting it would be nice to see the comment you are commenting against. Often they are long with several points and you can't refer back to it

Anyone else getting a load of crappy/cringy hostgator adds on youtube

Between android studio and Unity, which one si better to make a adventure text game? Why? (i'm learning, dont kill me please)

After 2 hours spend in a meeting with PM.... My impression what they really want. 😊

Agree or disagree?

I disagree.... When debugging, I'd like to breakpoint here (inside the DAO class) and see the results.

FML spent ages debugging why a function wasn't working, looks like I must of duplicated the function by mistake. Then after that I was trying to change the functionality slightly but wasn't working. Only spent half of Friday trying to debug it, luckily I fixed it in like 30 seconds today :P

"Are you sure this is not a scam" mum when I wanted to but my first lot of web hosting from one.com

Thanks for the distraction :P

Apple's certificate and provisioning profile shite can fuck right off

Hmmm, so you’ve used the DAO pattern everywhere so you’re not coupled to a particular database, but you don’t mind having 8 lines of Hibernate annotations at the start of an entity class, and 2-3 annotations on every property.
I see...

My coworker, Donnovan, has influenced me the most professionally. Showed me the ropes around HL7 when I had limited coding background. His philosophy of automating as much as possible has been my motto for over a decade, and I make sure I impart that to every new dev I train.

They are trying really, really hard to get you to use IE

Crap Gemini

If you're always too busy doing the wrong things the wrong way, you will never have time time to do things right

(Sr. Dev) Oh right, you can't do that in the controller.
(Me) I can't do what?
(Sr. Dev) That thing.
(Me) Call another controller from the controller?
(Sr. Dev) Yep.
(Me) Where is supposed to be called?
(Sr. Dev) From the view.
(Me) But what is supposed the controller to be used for?
(Me) What is supposed to do the controller?
(Sr. Dev) The controller pass data to the inner classes. (Controller > Manager > Domain Object > DAO)

I ended calling 3 controllers methods from the view in 4 different views everytime...

this has probably been mentioned before but how about edit functionality on posts?

We're at that part in the project where we either keep sinking money into it, or cut or losses and go with another project. Sigh.

Android Architecture components

Spent 30 minutes debugging the new Room database only for I to figure out later was returning an instance of an entity yet was supposed to return a Dao

Suggestions for UK conferences please, already going to devoxx, anything devvy would be good, or architecture or web related

Responding to a numb sales guys joke with "do you know the best about UDP jokes? - I don't care if you don't get it! " ...turnin around left the hallway... Unbeatable

Ordered myself a new laptop, paid extra for next day delivery before 10:30 (not cheap)

Get the tracking number and it looks like they have used my delivery address and billing postcode :/

I like the settings on my phone as dark as the dungeons with Geralt and a torch or the awesomely dumb flashlight from Doom 3.

foreach ($legacyCode as $codeToSupport) {
$bugsFound++;
$sanity--;
}

After a massive refactoring of the DAO test aren't running after 6 hours of debugging and traceing I find what some "genius" left behind.He wrote direct database updates from the UI code. WTF? Who gave them git access?

Maybe someone can help me there.
I have to make a DDD project and I can't figure out in which layer I should put classes that - for example - convert objects from DAO to DTO or the Serializing functions.

Does someone who already made some. DDD help me?

In an effort to learn any development I spent 3 days setting up a LAMP server. Now that I got working I have no idea what to do with it. Anyone have a personal server or ideas on what to do with one?

Anybody else get shouted at by partner when you put all heavy stuff at front of conveyer when shopping, or rearrange dishwasher so more things will fit, etc. I thought I was just being logical about these things...

Does anyone else code really slow? I spent an entire day Friday working on one DAO (and one small help desk ticket). Nothing complicated, and I knew what I was doing the entire time. At the end of the day, I just felt like I could have written it faster, or got more done. And I was really focused on it the entire day.

PUT vs POST vs PATCH
And none of them fit!

Scenario 1) Server -> proxy -> client
Scenario 2) Server -> proxy -> 2nd proxy -> client

Scenario 1 works on some web browsers
Scenario 2 always works

I found myself tonight imagining what a conversation between Cheech and Chong about serverless would be.
Maybe the basis for a new talk?
Suggestions please

Conferences are lonely places

Arghhhhh working with regular expressions (already a bad start) got it working on my dev PC but it won't work on the server.

The only difference is my pc is running PCRE v8.41 and my server is running v8.42. Can't find anyone else having the same issue on SO/Google

In client terms, a “3rd party” is akin to Angelina Jolie. Despite the promise that you’ll be able to have an enlightening conversation over a nice meal and hopefully hook up afterwards ... sorry, it ain’t happenin’. You’re just gonna have to fantasize about it while you take care of business yourself.

!rant

Does anyone know of any software I can use to monitor a RAID 1 array health. Ideally ild like an email if one of the drives has failed/removed.

On a side note thank god for RAID 😅

Opinions please. When end user is not paying for service, who is my customer? For example public facing government project

I'm starting to look at how to get devices to send data to an endpoint for storage and analysis. I'm looking at AWS iot stuff like core and green grass but then I'm thinking that a REST API could also do the job. I don't need to connect devices to each other (in first iteration). Dont think I need any edge stuff either. Anybody have any experience with this?

Just enrolled myself in Andrew Ng's Machine Learning course at Coursera for the summer, is it a good place to start? Any recommendations?

Not only can I not download the attachments in bulk from my Outlook account, but the download button opens a new f*cking tab where I have to click download again after it fully loads the whole page. I'd gladly use this shit software if for every attached file I download a wrench would tighten on the genitals of the idiot that design it.

Feature request: please allow the app to work in landscape and rotate. I can't get to the hamburger menu in bottom right due to broken screen

Work has set us a challenge to build a rock/paper/scissors/dynamite/waterbomb api. We have the spec for what json is expected incoming and outgoing. We are allowed to implement any way we want and with any language we want. We are considering using Clojure but we have no experience with it, hence we will hopefully be learning as we go. Would you recommend using a framework like Pedestal, Hoplon, Luminus, or just use Leiningren or something else?

When your work finally realises you haven't done time sheets for the last 4 years :/

Completely fed up today, trying to investigate a memory leak using google chromes profiling tools, first of all all the "documentation" is well out of date so you have to pretty much guess your way through it.

Anyway i start to investigate and it looks like the JS Heap increases in size only after a garbage collection, surely this is the wrong way round or am i just being stupid

I wouldn't want the keyboard to record my thoughts, it's my filter.

So my room mate threw out €700 of spending money for our holiday later this month. Luckily I thought about it today and started looking for them. Was the last palace I could think of.

Cheers for the stickers!

This button layout bugs me more then it should :/

@dfox