Me teaching a co-worker programming.
Him:"So what exactly is the difference between Java and JavaScript?"
Me:"About the same as the difference between cars and carpets."
Thank you guys for teaching me how to answer that.

All my code is hacked together and barely works and is nowhere near shameless. But I'm pretty proud of my hardware hacks. Like the sticker that holds the casing on my laptop together.

Just found another forum message from someone that doesn't understand Java and JavaScript. They said JavaScript is the code that Java runs....I thought we fixed these people.

Does anyone else feel this way? Especially with no formal training?

Hallucinations of my father that keep taking control of my psyche and making me hack things I don't remember or shooting me in the head to break down my sanity.

Why did Nintendo stop making the Wii U? It was time for a Switch!

Dear ISP,
Thank your for throttling my internet right in the middle of a hurricane! Now not only does Netflix not work and GitHub take forever, but I can't even get live weather updates. Time to code using cave paintings I guess till the power goes out.

Sudo apt-get remove --purge hurricane-irma

Within 20 minutes of posting a question on stack overflow it was down voted - with no explanation. Fucking hate that site

Memory leak. Fuck off

watched first two episodes of mr. robot and it seems pretty good so far. does it go like other hacker shows/movies or does it stay good?

about 6 years ago I was working for a large consulting company on a government project. I put in a change for a stored procedure that hard coded the partition to 0, except 0 didn't exist on production, just on test. several thousand government employees couldn't access it for a day. 😞

when you tell your boss 'we need to talk' and he looks genuinely worried 😀

swag link says you need 20 +1's for stickers and 175 +1's for ball from each post. clicking on Learn More it then says you need 15 +1's for stickers and 150 +1's for ball from each post.
How about some stickers for spotting a content issue?

!rant

Went on holiday abroad for 3 weeks and left my laptop at home so as "not to distract me from enjoying myself".

I miss it every day 😔

I've published my first app on the Play Store! Does this mean I get to call myself a developer now? 🤔

The Blackest Black devrant theme is awesome!

Use the terminal inside ide or external?

had an interview at a place that went good at the technical part but I didn't do great at their 'abstract' questions. the guys interviewing were complete stone faced as well, no personality, pretty sure I wouldn't have liked working there anyways. a few years later and they are still looking for people. the recruiter rings up and I said I wouldn't want to re-interview unless the process had changed. he guaranteed me it had. so I went back in and it was exactly the same. exactly the same technical questions, followed by more abstract questions. different guys but same no-personalities. never going back

My most humbling experience was finding the source code online to the original Pokemon games. It was right after I had finished my first text based Linux console game and I was looking up other programs source codes just for shits and giggles. Most of them were simple and I learned a few simple tricks but the red and blue Pokemon were the first codes I saw that fascinated me. The addressing, the memory allocation, even the simple audio processing was simply genius. So many unique innovations and techniques. If I achieve 1/5th of the skill I found in those files, I can die a happy programmer!

At what point do you leave?
I totally get Amazon's principle of 'disagree and commit' but how many disagreements with your COO, CEO, does it take to make you say:
Fuck this, I'm out of here

Devrant freezes when switching to different app then back again. A bit random though, has happened a couple of times but can't reproduce it.

jenkins tests passing but travis failing. now travis passing but jenkins failing, aargh!

more beer needed...

My permanently mounted sticker duck to explain my way out of coding errors.

Spent the day with people I work with developing an Alexa skill to kick off a Jenkins job. Fun!

Blockchain
Or at least I hope so

when github autocorrects my pull request message that contains the word splunk.
(or when devrant also decides to)

the cake is a lie

in the hospital with surgery and our deployment goes wrong, so glad I work with really good people!

Installation progress bars that lie....

When commenting it would be nice to see the comment you are commenting against. Often they are long with several points and you can't refer back to it

!rant
So I got bored and decided to drop some Easter egg cats into Google trouble reports because why not? Well I sent one off on regular Google Allo and it ran this search. None of my other cats did anything like this even with other black cats. Any ideas?

Crap Gemini

Apple's certificate and provisioning profile shite can fuck right off

If you're always too busy doing the wrong things the wrong way, you will never have time time to do things right

this has probably been mentioned before but how about edit functionality on posts?

Suggestions for UK conferences please, already going to devoxx, anything devvy would be good, or architecture or web related

I found myself tonight imagining what a conversation between Cheech and Chong about serverless would be.
Maybe the basis for a new talk?
Suggestions please

Conferences are lonely places

PUT vs POST vs PATCH
And none of them fit!

In an effort to learn any development I spent 3 days setting up a LAMP server. Now that I got working I have no idea what to do with it. Anyone have a personal server or ideas on what to do with one?

Anybody else get shouted at by partner when you put all heavy stuff at front of conveyer when shopping, or rearrange dishwasher so more things will fit, etc. I thought I was just being logical about these things...

In client terms, a “3rd party” is akin to Angelina Jolie. Despite the promise that you’ll be able to have an enlightening conversation over a nice meal and hopefully hook up afterwards ... sorry, it ain’t happenin’. You’re just gonna have to fantasize about it while you take care of business yourself.

I wouldn't want the keyboard to record my thoughts, it's my filter.

Work has set us a challenge to build a rock/paper/scissors/dynamite/waterbomb api. We have the spec for what json is expected incoming and outgoing. We are allowed to implement any way we want and with any language we want. We are considering using Clojure but we have no experience with it, hence we will hopefully be learning as we go. Would you recommend using a framework like Pedestal, Hoplon, Luminus, or just use Leiningren or something else?

Feature request: please allow the app to work in landscape and rotate. I can't get to the hamburger menu in bottom right due to broken screen

I'm starting to look at how to get devices to send data to an endpoint for storage and analysis. I'm looking at AWS iot stuff like core and green grass but then I'm thinking that a REST API could also do the job. I don't need to connect devices to each other (in first iteration). Dont think I need any edge stuff either. Anybody have any experience with this?

Opinions please. When end user is not paying for service, who is my customer? For example public facing government project

Cheers for the stickers!

calling a rest API and it returns a 400 when it's data is corrupt, wtf!

Double guns (with clicking noise) at the screen when solving a tricky problem

Product, not project!

Anyone who managed to use comboboxes with Gtk# on monodevelop? I can't get it to work with both Gtk2 and 3

What's a good inexpensive android phone for development. Something 14 year olds could use without breaking

Anybody else feel that the devrant face, when it's expanding/contracting, is laughing at you?

New to the the electronics stuff and I'm building a word clock. Recommendations for a microcontroller that has at least 22 outputs (22 words to light up). Something from Arduino? Also need to plug in for power and use an RTC.