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Search - "do you do this too"
-
*yesterday*
Client: "Perfect! How did you do this so quickly?"
Me: "I used a library"
*today*
Me: "I'm still debugging. It will take some time"
Client: "Well, it has already taken too long...I can hear Mozart in the background. Maybe you need to go to a library to get some quiet and get it done fast. Visit the one you used yesterday."
Me: "Library?...Ah, I meant plugin...like, code...a library is a bunch of packaged code"5 -
3 years ago.....
*lunch break. In a table with 2 other co-workers*
Me: "I am going to quit today!"
Co-worker 1: "What? I am going to do that today too!"
Co-worker 2: "Are you serious? I was planning to do that too today!"
Me: "Holy cow! Let's do that today the three of us, but I am going last one. I want to see his face (our CEO)".
After couple of minutes and disagreement, we agreed to do that.
When I told him (I was the last to tell himm), he was sweating and his face was red. Started to throw offensive words towards me. I was expecting that and came prepared. BUT, in the middle of his words saying "I hire you because no one would hire you" etc, quietly and with a smile on my face, I interrupted him saying, "Look, is this going to take long? Because I gotta go somewhere and I am not in the mood to listen to you!"
He started to shake from that rage he had inside him. I know he wanted to punch me. But nothing happened.
I still remember his face like it was yesterday. :P
Epilogue:
My aunt's husband and him were best friends. He called him saying what happened. Of course, I was the one to blame. Since my parent knew what kind of guy he is, they told me "You did good for being quiet, not screaming and not acting like a child!"9 -
Got a phone call: I got an error, what do I do?
Me: what kind of error?
Her: I closed it.
Me: what did it say?
Her: I don't know, it was a window with "ok" and "cancel"
Me: why didn't you read it?
Her: I don't understand this computer language.
/me dies a little inside.
There is nothing quite as stupid as people who refuse to read their own language as soon as it appears on a screen.
They make those things for a reason.
This happens too often.8 -
When I was a kid, I used Dreamweaver and my mother would watch me doing things and she used to say "Oh, my dear there are lots of icons and buttons!!! How do you manage that? How do you know which one is for what purpose? You are really brilliant."
And now I use Atom IDE and she says "This looks very easy. Technology has evolved so much that you don't have to click so many buttons and just write simple lines, just as simple as writing letters and the software does the rest of the things. These softwares have done a brilliant job."
Seriously the technology has changed (and my mother too) !!!12 -
Angry customer (😤): Your software is still too slow!!!
Me (🙄): It's running good all in all. Let's divide this into smaller aspects. Which steps do you need to perform faster?
😤: Every step needs to be as fast as google!
🙄: But our software ain't google, not even to mention your infrastructure
😤: Everything needs to run in 2 seconds!!!
🙄: You aren't helping in any way. We need something to grasp...
😤: It's all your fault.
📴10 -
!geek girlfriend
Me and my partner are in the car driving. We drive by a young girl who is on her scooter. I look at my gf and ask,
Me: do you sometimes have some weird thoughts in mind (and nothing relating to sex her just so you know).
Her: well what do you mean?
Me: well i se that person scootering on the sidewalk and i imagine screaming at her like a lunatic “GET THE FUCK OFF THE ROAD PUNK” (which the little girl clearly isn't).
She laughs.
Her: yeah,i do too but it's more scientific, like sometimes i wonder how many times some one would flip. In the air if i hit them with the car or how long would it take some one to reach the ground if i pushed them off the balcony.
....
Me: silence...
Skin goes white
Her: looks at me with a big smile!!!
Im not sure if this is good or bad ;)23 -
I fucking hate CNET already. I mean who likes a website which autoplays a video everytime you visit them, with 200% volume.
But this time, I am just so fucking annoyed. Here is the title of an article:
"iPhone 8, X's wireless charging is a game changer for Android"
And the subtitle:
"When it comes to Apple, plenty of Android phone makers are monkey see, monkey do."
FUck you motherfucker. "Monkey see, monkey do". Are you fucking kidding me you cunt?
Remeber your 3D touch bullshit? Your fucking wireless charging will be bullshit too.
"the rest of the phone users make do with messy cables."
Maybe you're a fucking imbecile who doesn't know how to manage simple cables and ends up with broken wires.
You know who looks like a monkey? Some apple users who uses that shitty looking wireless earphone, which looks like monkey's dick you asshole.
Fuck off!18 -
Worst 'advice' from a college recruiter:
"O you want to major in computer science? Well our school is fantastic for women in comp sci because WHEN they find it too difficult they can easily transition to graphic design. How do you feel about graphic design?"
I decided that school was a bad choice.
Graduating this year with my BS in Comp Sci and going for my Masters in Robotics. Screw that guy.18 -
Manager: This button is too dark, you need to lighten it. Have you no sense of design?
Dev: …
Dev: Hows this for an adjustment?
Manager: Wayyyyy too light now, jesus you need glasses if you think that’s good.
Dev: …
Dev: How about now?
Manager: It’s close, make it just a little more dark. God why does this have to take so long, do I have to hold your hand through this entire process!
Dev: …
Dev: There that good?
Manager: Yes that’s perfect! Send me a PR immediately so I can approve, we need to get this out ASAP, it’s critical!!
Dev: I can’t.
Manager: ????
Dev: There’s no diff, you had me gradually adjust the colour back to exactly what it was originally.
Manager: THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE IT LOOKS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME LIKE THIS, I HAVE A MEETING I NEED TO GET OFF TO BUT WE WILL BE HAVING WORDS LATER ABOUT THIS INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOUR.
Dev: …16 -
Family reaction story to me being a dev?
- My dad still refers to my profession as 'something in computers'.
- My older sister goes to her weirdo friends for technical advice because she thinks all I do is fill paper in printers (that's a long TL;DR story about a phone upgrade)
- My brother, a car mechanical genius thinks what I do is near God-like. He also races cars and can blabber on about the physics, aero-dynamics, weight ratios, etc and says "Oh, no way. I'm too stupid to do what you do." Then I'm like, "Dude, shut up, I can barely change my oil and you could replace an engine blindfolded", then he just laughs "Yea, probably."
- Baby sister just wants me to fix her phone. "Can you make <insert some random app> do <insert a random behavior the app was never designed to do>?". I'm like "Uh no, I didn't write Instagram", then she's like "I thought you went to school for computers?".
- My mom passed way (long battle with cancer). I'm sure she'd be proud, but still asking me to how to switch the channel so she could watch a movie on the VCR.
I can clearly see having this conversation with my mom.
Me: "Mom, why are you still using a VCR? I bought you a subscription to Netflix"
Mom: "Net what? Do I turn the dial to channel 2 or 3?"
Me: "No, its the Netflix button on the remote."
Mom: "Can't you come over and do this? I just want to watch my shows. Didn't you go to school to learn these things?"
Me: "No mom, that's not...um...never mind. I'll be right over."17 -
Me : You should try this app, its great!
Friend: What is about?
Me : A place where programmers and developers tell jokes and complain to each other
Friend : But you can do that i real life too
Me : But now you don't have to leave your computer to do that1 -
Manager: "How long do you think this will take?"
My brain:
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Me: "Shouldn't take too long"4 -
Manager: I can’t believe you use Linux, that is such an outdated operating system. You need to get with the times and move to a more modern one like Windows or Mac. Literally NOBODY uses Linux anymore, do you still go to Blockbuster Video too? Ha!
Dev: …
I’m starting to realize that 80% of my job is resisting the urge to punch this guy in the face. Thanks goodness for remote work.33 -
I've always hated Omegle, but my online friend forced me to do it, since she thinks it will help my social anxiety.
I had to send her screenshots as proof.
As much as I didn't want to, I had no choice. I was too scared to do the video chatting so I did the text chat instead. This is how the conversation went:
Stranger: Hey
Me: Hello.
Stranger: Wyd?
Me: Just programming, you?
Stranger: ur a programmer?
Me: Yes :)
*Stranger has disconnected.*57 -
Manager: I just think you are being too negative. Like sometimes other people have opinions too and we should hear them out before saying no.
Me: Well your opinion is the devs shouldn't be able to estimate their own tasks and you should decide on our behalf how long something should take.
You also want to decide what tech stack we use, because you followed a "Hello World" tutorial last night and it worked out for you.
Just because you got a simple webpage up and running in 2 hours doesn't mean all websites take 2 hours with the tech. Were not sitting in the corner laughing that you think its taking us 3 weeks to build this.
I'm not being negative simply because I don't agree with you. I'm not being unreasonable if I say I can do 6 weeks work in 2 weeks. And although it sounds offensive, i'm actually doing you a favour by telling you to get your head out of your ass11 -
User: We have been dealing with this bug for a month now! How come nobody has fixed it?
Dev: Who did notify about this issue?
User: You’re not listening we have been dealing with this for a MONTH!
Dev: When this issue first occurred did you tell anyone?
User: Yes!
Dev: Who?
User: …. Ok I don’t remember but I know I said something to someone. Anyway it doesn’t matter, your job is IT so how come this isn’t fixed?
Dev: Did you have an email? Ticket number? Teams message? Any record of where this was dropped?
User: I think you’re missing the point. We haven’t been able to do out jobs for A MONTH. We’ve just been sitting around completely helpless. We’ve been trying to figure a system using paper and pencil to replace the electronic one but it’s too complicated. How come this wasn’t fixed the second it happened?
Dev: It’s hard to respond to an issue if it’s not brought to out attention.
User: Ok but we are too busy to create a ticket! We have a million things to do and we can’t do any of them because your app doesn’t work! We’ve been sitting here telling each other how terrible this system is AND IT HAS BEEN A MONTH.
Dev: …. Yeah I got that12 -
This is how I feel most of my client proposal start:
* It's simple, I'd like to re-invent <the wheel>.
* All I want to do is use <rocketship engine> on <old typewriter>.
* I'm too cheap to hire a full-time < DBA, DevOps engineer, development team>. Can I pay you pennies?
* I'm poor and broke, can you do this for free?
* I'd like to <commit illegal act> and be <legal compliant standard>.
* I heard it was possible to <fly 30 people to the moon> using <Ford Model-T>. Please do this for us.
* I <sold my house>, but now <I'm locked out by the new owners>. Please help.11 -
PM: 2 months? no thats way too long, do it in 1.
Director: I had a chat with someone else who doesn't work on this team, he says that developer you complained about is a good guy and we should keep him on the team.
Business: No, we don't have time for tech debt, lets build these new features as quick as possible and lets see where we are.
everyone: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT CRASHED AGAIN??? THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE6 -
The colleague:
- I can't work, my chair is uncomfortable
- I can't work, my chair is not ergonomic
- I can't work, my desk is too small
- I can't work, my legs are uncomfortable
- I can't work, my keyboard is not ergonomic
- I can't work on this task, John knows how to do it better
- I will only work on <this> type of tasks. I will not work on others
*gets assigned <other> task; browses the internet all day; at the EOD task isn't even touched*
- I can't work with Jack, he's too noisy
- I can't come to the office on time, there's traffic in the city
- I couldn't come yesterday, I was out of town. No, I will not log a vacation day - I was NOT on vacation. It's personal
- I can't<...>
Manager, 2 days to the end of said colleague's probation period:
- I am very sorry to tell you this, but our attitudes are not in line and we cannot continue working together. Since this is your 5th warning, we have to let you go.
The colleague:
- What?? How come?? I did NOT see this coming... You can't do this! I work here! This is where I work and you can't fire me!
*got his things from his desk and left. Never came back*
Everyone at the office:
- YAYYYY!!!! Let's have a shorter day today and let's celebrate this riddance in a pub! (manager agreed)7 -
Dev: Ok issue fixed, you just need to log out and back in again on your end to receive the fix
User: It’s still not working
Dev: Did you log out and in again?
User: No why would I want to do that?
Dev: It’ll reset your locally saved login information which is causing the issue
User: I thought you said the issue was fixed?
Dev: On our end yes, we just need you to reset your end in order to receive the fixed version
User: Look I have been dealing with this issue for 6 months. Fixing bugs are your responsibility. I have too much to do, you have to get this fixed. *click*.
Dev: Yeah you submitted the bug ticket yesterday night though
Email from users manager later that day: <User> is saying you are refusing to fix this bug. This is unacceptable. Fix it or else I will escalate this. Also there are other bugs we noticed today too, fixing them is absolutely critical!
Dev: …
Dev: What other bugs did you notice?
*no response for 2 weeks and then:
User: Hey you can close this ticket, the issue seems to have resolved itself.
Dev: ….muppet.17 -
So a fucking friend of mine makes me meet this fella who is a big shot according to his LinkedIn and please note has too much experience with Web Apps and Python
Me being naive actually trusted that and I meet him.
Fella: So what do you do?
Me: I am into Cyber Security nothing much I just do bug hunting for now
Fella: You know python will help you right?
Me: Sorry?
Fella: You see you have to be a python programmer for anything you want to do in CS
Me: Me yeah I kinda know python actually I am more into Ruby from start so ( Around this time I kinda sensed that he is a fake tech guy he is a corporate asshole)
Fella: show me any of your work
Me: (So to show him one of the thing I was working on I open GitHub desktop app) Me explaining blah blah blah
*Fella is in shock*
So at this point I was thinking probably he is impressed and that's why the shock right?
No a big fucking no
Apparently he never heard about GitHub or git and got blown away by the interface.
And the friend who made me meet that guy is not my fucking friend anymore that prick can die for ruining my day18 -
boss: please look into tools that do X.
fullstackchris: Ah, here's a solution we can use!
boss: I don't want to use it because it is too complicated.
fullstackchris: ok, that's fine with me...
[one week later] boss: oh I found this nice site that does X, can we do X?
fullstackchris: YES, THAT'S EXACTLY THE SOLUTION I ALREADY FOUND, *AFTER* YOU ASKED ME TO LOOK FOR A SOLUTION, AND IN THE END YOU DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT. OH HAVE YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND?!?!
F*@#! *%*#8 -
Every time I hear a developer say "works for me", I'm gonna hide a service of mine that they use behind the VPN.
Dev: "oy mate, this server is down"
Me (with VPN connection): "sorry mate, works for me"
Dev: "but here, check this out, it's down!!"
Me: "mate, check your network connection. You must have a shitty network connection."
Dev: -_-
Me: "Maybe shitty hardware? Driver issues on your network card? 🤭"
Because you know, we sysadmins can do that too 😉28 -
Dev manager: great news guys. We’ve built a new tool to do automated testing on apps. We’ve gotten rid of the old Appium solution we were using and built this new one.
Me: why not just use the inbuilt native stuff? Click to record works really well.
Manager: nah we thought it would be more flexible to build it ourself.
Me: ... ok ... moving on ... how does it work?
Manager: well this new .jar, you download it, pass in a config file, setup up your simulator and appium and the jar will do everything for you.
Me: ... wait you said you hate Appium? Now you’ve built a wrapper around it? And it doesn’t even set everything up, you’ve to do it all by hand?
Manager: oh we had too, would be too much effort to replace it. Don’t worry we can now write all our tests in .yaml config files instead of using Appium.
Me: so we’ve lost the ability of auto-complete and type ahead, everyone has to upskill on a new tool, it offers no new features over what’s available out of the box and we’ll have to deal with new bugs and maintenance and stuff our self ... because we need more flexibility?
Manager: oh don’t worry. The guy who built it is staying here. He’s going to deal with bug fixes and add features. He’s only one guy, but he’s really sharp, it’ll be great for us and the team.
Me: ... ... ...
*audible noise of soul breaking*
Me: ... ok thank you. I’ll look into this new tool3 -
Forgot FAT32 had a file count limit.
Turns out Linux won't stop you from writing too many files to a FAT32 drive.
Turns out this makes FAT32 do *really weird shit.*44 -
*knock knock*
SIR do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior the WINDOWS UPDATE?
"uhm no sorry I'm busy"
*sees a bulldozer in the background*
"what the .."
SIR just let him in your heart and feel his security patches drive your vulnerabilities away!!
"but the rendering hasn't finished ye.."
TOO LATE SIR, green light fellas let's do this
*bulldozer destroys my house and i wake up, sweating*
*hugs laptop*
"Oooh Ubuntu my baby I've missed you soo much!"
*wayland crashes*2 -
@Root has a code review.
CR comment: “Why would you do it this way? It’s awful. Clean it up!”
Totally fair. I had copied the legendary dev’s code, and it was ick. Cleaning it was easy and enjoyable. I cleaned the source, too.
CR comment: “Why would you touch this? It’s outside the scope of the ticket. You could get it working without changing all this.”
Revert…
CR comment: “The interfaces don’t match. Now it’s confusing, and that makes it harder to maintain.”
🤦🏻♀️16 -
- "Finance are too busy to look at this"
- "Finance have too much to do"
- "We can't this sorted at the minute because finance are overloaded"
Finance just sent me a request for "detailed description" for each business trip i've made. Attached is a spreadsheet report with 122 columns detailing every facet of my travel expenses that they have recorded so far. Not even just one row per trip, but one row per item, like:
- Trip 1 - Airport parking: .....
- Trip 1 - Airfare Outbound: ....
- Trip 1 - Airfare Inbound: ....
This is way you are too busy, because this is fucking ridiculous. Fix your shitty process and stop bitching.
FYI, your "detailed descriptions" can be found in the contracts we've signed, which outline all the travel needs, which you've already reviewed and signed off on. Get your shit together and stop bugging me4 -
Oh you're a frontend guy? Good, we need one of those.
Oh you're a backend guy too? Good, we need one of those.
Oh you're a security guy too? Good, we need one of those.
Oh you're a devops guy too? Good, we need one of those.
Oh you're a QA guy too? Good, we need one of those.
Oh you're an SEO guy too? Good, we need one of those.
"Well, sorry to say fullStackCraft, but we found your cloud architecture skills just a little too lacking for this position. We really need someone who can do frontend, backend, security audits, QA assessments, SEO, AND build scaling cloud architecture. Oh and while you're at it, can you turn fucking water into gold? We need that at our company too. You didn't get the position, but it'd be great if you could refer us to someone who is very advanced in fucking alchemy. Thanks!"
Absolutely toxic the way software people are treated I swear. The money may be the only good thing that is left.19 -
Them: Root, you take too long to get tickets out. You only have a few simple ones. You really need to rebuild your reputation.
Also them: Hey, could you revisit this ticket? Could you help ____ with this other ticket? Hey Root, how do you do this? Root, someone had a suggestion on one of your tickets; could you implement that by EoD? Hey Root, i didn't read your ticket notes; how do you test it? Hey, could you revisit this ticket for the fourth time and remove some whitespace? Hey Root, someone has non-blocking code review comments you need to address before we can release the ticket. Hey Root, we want to expand that ticket scope by 5-6 times; still labeled a trivial feature though.
Also them: Super easy ticket for you. Make sure you talk with teams A, B, C, D, E and get their input on the ticket, talk with ____ and ____ and ____ about it, find a solution that makes them all happy and solves the problem too, then be sure to demo it with everyone afterward. Super easy; shouldn't take you more than a couple days. Oh, and half of them are on vacation.
Also them: Hey, that high-priority ticket you finished months ago that we ignored? Yeah, you need to rewrite it by tomorrow. Also, you need to demo it with our guy in India, who's also on vacation. Yes, tomorrow is the last day. (The next day:) You rewrote it, but weren't able to schedule the demo? Now you've missed the release! It's even later! This reflects very poorly on you.
Also them: Perfect is the enemy of good; be more like the seniors who release partially-broken code quickly.
Also them: Here's an non-trivial extreme edgecase you might not have covered. Oh, it would have taken too much time and that's why you didn't do it? Jeez, how can you release such incomplete code?
Also them: Yeah, that ticket sat in code review for five months because we didn't know it was high-priority, despite you telling us. It's still kinda your fault, though.
Also them: You need to analyze traffic data to find patterns and figure out why this problem is happening. I know you pushed the fix for it 8 months ago, and I said it was really solid, but the code is too complex so I won't release it. Yeah I know it's just a debounce with status polling and retrying. Too complex for me to understand. Figure out what the problem is, see if another company has this same problem, and how they fixed it.
-------------
Yep. I'm so terrible for not getting these tickets out, like wow. Worst dev ever. Much shame.
LF work, PST.13 -
Went to an interview for the position ‘PHP Web Developer’. Interviewer scans through my CV for 2mins and then starts the interview.
Interviewer: Do you know Java?
Me: I know Java but I don’t have any professional experience
Interviewer: Do you know Hadoop?
Me: No. I’ve never worked on it
Interviewer: Our company works on Hadoop hence you should be able to work on that after joining.
Me: I thought this is a PHP web dev position.
Interviewer: Of course. But you will have work on various other things too!
Me: I don’t think I want to become jack of all trades. Thanks for the opportunity!
I got up and left the interview...7 -
Guys, my unfortunately daily rant of my pm
I was told to create a docker env for our team. Good. Document the process so everyone can know what to do. Good.
My PM follows what he wants to instead of step by step and changes whatever he wants to.
I am asked for help because he doesnt know. No prob.
Me: "Do this, do this and.."
PM: "that doesnt matter, trust me, I could change it and.."
Me: "...and it wont work"
PM: "I know suff too, check" *does his changes aaaaaand doesnt work*
* awkward staring*
That happened a while ago.
This week, he crashed his git repo because he was doing things in docker team (including him) decided not to.
Took me more enough time explaining him "you are not supposed to do that in the container" funny fact he wanted to prove that his way was right and even if he did my way it would crash.
Sooooo he did my way just to prove how wrong I was. Everything worked flawlessly. Rage-still-awkward staring.
Plus the "aww that's weird. I dont know how this happened" -
Our project manager who also happens to be our web designer... (Start Up)
Project Manager: We have a go signal. Go convert this design to html and css. And make it responsive.
Me: Can you forward me the mail so I can check if it's actually approved?
Project Manager: Just do it.
Me: (After tweaking) There. It's done.
Project Manager: They want to change all the layout of the site. We're gonna do it from scratch. They didn't like the design.
Me: What? I thought your design was approved?
Project Manager: I thought so too. But i'm your PM so get back to work.
There was no mail from the client.7 -
this.rant == "long";
This is something I feel strongly about, I hope you do too...
I fucking hate it when I hear that people don't care about net neutrality (and I've heard people say it). There is little in this world untouched by shitty corporations encroaching on the little good that is left in this world.
Yes the internet is full of edgy teenagers, incompetent Seniors (both old people and Devs) and god knows what else. But you know what? I pay my money to copy and paste code from SO (we ALL do let's not lie to ourselves) and I'm not paying a special fee to look at this content or that or send this type of text to that kind of person.
Now then to the point... On 14th December 2017 the FCC will vote on whether or not to allow companies like Verizon and - dare I say it - Comcast to charge more to access certain sites or block you access altogether and otherwise control what you say and do.
I for one, say FUCK OFF and I hope you do to. If you can, call or otherwise contact your Congressperson - you can do that here: https://house.gov/representatives/... . If you're not from the US, you can still help! https://www.battleforthenet.com has lots of information on what you can do to help.
I hope you'll all join me in shouting as loud as we can and preventing this moronic idea from going through.
Peace.
this.rant.end();rant shout help us help we can end this net neutrality wk79 this isn't related to wk79 but it's important idiot10 -
* Boss gives you a shitty work that doesn't follow standards
* you tell him that this is wrong, and there will be consequences on time and performance on the future.
*he insists
*you do the work like he says
*after a while he asks for modifications
*takes too long because of structure problems, and non compatibility
*you get blamed
*you hate your job, your boss and your life.7 -
I have had this conversation well too often:
- (him/her) Do you mind helping me with this problem I have on my computer ?
- (me) Sure, what is it ?
- (him/her) *proceeds to explaining the problem*
- (me) Ok, I don't know about this particular thing, you should try googling it.
- (the pissed off version of him/her) Never mind, I'll find someone who's willing to help me.
Please stop taking that as me not caring about your problem.
Googling things is basically what I do all day as a developer.
You really should try it. That thing is actually pretty useful.5 -
8:50am aight alarm clock, give me 5 more minutes
8:55am ok lets round it to 9, wake me up then
9:00am aight enough. lets just sleep for 1 more minute since 9:00 is too round
9:43am fuck
9:44am ok its time to finally study for the upcoming college exam
9:45am nothing but a fresh day to start studying for college
9:46am eh i dont have a lot to study so I'll do it in 2pm, I'll code my project instead
2pm hold on 5 more minutes until i finish coding this feature and then I'll study
5pm where the fuck is this bug coming from
5:504pm goddamn i found it
6:36pm holy shit its already over 6pm, I'll study at night
7:42pm ok its night now, time to study but I'll do it when i fix all bugs
8:14pm ok bugs fixed, commit. lets study
8:15pm you know what, im way too tired and exhausted from this coding, I'll take a short 30 minute break and then I'll study
10:15pm ok im feeling fresh bois lets study now theres not too much
1:31am damn this movie was good
1:32am fuck i forgot to study, I'll do it tomorrow
2:10am *posts this rant*6 -
Following a conversation with a fellow devRanter this came to my mind ago, happened a year or two ago I think.
Was searching for an online note taking app which also provided open source end to end encryption.
After searching for a while I found something that looked alright (do not remember the URL/site too badly). They used pretty good open source JS crypto libraries so it seemed very good!
Then I noticed that the site itself did NOT ran SSL (putting the https:// in front of the site name resulted in site not found or something similar).
Went to the Q/A section because that's really weird.
Saw the answer to that question:
"Since the notes are end to end encrypted client side anyways, we don't see the point in adding SSL. It's secure enough this way".
😵
I emailed them right away explaing that any party inbetween their server(s) and the browser could do anything with the request (includingt the cryptographic JS code) so they should start going onto SSL very very fast.
Too badly I never received a reply.
People, if you ever work with client side crypto, ALWAYS use SSL. Also with valid certs!
The NSA for example has this thing known as the 'Quantum Insert' attack which they can deploy worldwide which basically is an attack where they detect requests being made to servers and reply quickly with their own version of that code which is very probably backdoored.
This attack cannot be performed if you use SSL! (of course only if they don't have your private keys but lets assume that for now)
Luckily Fox-IT (formerly Dutch cyber security company) wrote a Snort (Intrustion Detection System) module for detecting this attack.
Anyways, Always use SSL if you do anything at all with crypto/sensitive data! Actually, always use it but at the very LEAST really do it when you process the mentioned above!31 -
SUPERVISOR: You wrote this 140 lines method, it's too long. You should split it up, it's not readable
IHateForALiving: Bruh be serious, this is a single switch-case; I can't split it.
SUPERVISOR: Fine, I'll do it.
HIS CODE: He split the 140 lines method into 2 methods: the first is 4 lines long; it's a try-catch surrounding a call to the other method, 136 lines long.9 -
Me: I have been doing really similar tasks I'm going to spend some time making a template for it.
Supervisor: ok just don't spend to much time on it we have a lot to do.
Me: shouldn't take too long
1 hour later.
Supervisor : how's the work going.
Me: almost done with the template.
Supervisor: this is taking you way to long I need you to just get back to work.
Me: ok
He leaves and I continue work on the template.
30 mins later.
Show him the template.
Me: I cut my time on this specific task by 80%
Supervisor: good job glad I knew you should do it.
WTF YOU WERE TELLING ME NOT TO.5 -
Product Owner: "need this doing in 6 months, can you do?"
Me: "we're too busy to start another project at the moment - can you wait about 6 months for it to start, or I'll have to hire more devs"
PO: "I'll just outsource it"
36 months later the company he outsourced to is out of business and hasn't delivered, and I've had their half-finished shit show git repo dumped on me.
No comments, no docs, and no units tests, so no fucking idea what it's supposed to do4 -
Overheard a phone call between the Senior Network Engineer and a contracted Printer-company at 9am this morning. Photocopier was giving a 'functional error' message on-screen and not printing;
N.E:
I logged this call last
Thursday afternoon. Thats 1.5 days of the photocopier not working on our busiest site! Where's the engineer??
.... yes, that's the error message.
Yes, i can log into it, you should have the IP address from the call.
Yes, it's obviously pinging too.
Yes.... we've power-cycled the printer multiple times...
yes, tried that too...
yes, I've unplugged the network cable as well... left it for 15 minutes.
... sorry. What?
What did you say?
Are you f***ing kidding me?
Would you also like me to rub the side of the f***ing machine, and say a prayer while I'm at it??
*takes a deep breath*
Fine, I'll do that but when it doesn't work, i want someone out on the site before lunchtime today!
*slams phone down angrily*
N.E to me as he stomps out of the office;
He wants me to get the user to unplug the network cable and do a power cycle. How the f**k is that going to help? Idiots! Don't know why we have a contract with them, i could do a better job!!!
*comes back into office 5 minutes later*
Me: did it fix it?
NE: yeah. Damn.
*leaves room again to make apologetic phonecall*2 -
It's fine if you're 'not good with computers' and need help. Ask me politely and sure I'll see how I can help and teach you what you need so that you can do it yourself in the future.
It's not fine, however, if you refuse to fucking learn after the millionth time I've taught you how to do the exact same thing because 'It's too hard' and 'I won't understand anyway'. And then proceed to call me a bad and ungrateful friend because I can't come to your rescue the very second you need me and don't seem 1000% enthusiastic to help at 1am in the morning when I'm still doing my own work.
Sure, I'm the 'tech person' amongst our friends. I *do* understand the frustration you experience when something isn't working. But that doesn't mean I'm obligated to be your 24/7 IT support, while listening to your complaints of how I was probably the one who fucked it up in the first place when I helped fixed your phone/laptop last time (for the record, this was *never* the case).
UGHHHHHHHH
ps: I just found this community and I love it already! Thought this mental rant I had earlier would fit right in lol
(Also, sorry English isn't my first language D:7 -
Project manager, a few months ago: "why did you do this task? It's all wrong. It's a backend task, not a frontend task so you shouldn't have done it. Don't do it again."
PM, today, regarding the same task in a different project: "why didn't you do this task? The project isn't complete without it. It isn't right. You should have done it."
Are you fucking serious? If we do it it's wrong, if we don't do it it's wrong too. So why should I bother? Seriously, fuck you you piece of shit.2 -
Hey Root. Here’s a new ticket for you. It involves lots of things you’ve never seen before, and the only person you can ask is out this week.
Hey Root. Why haven’t you been making good progress every day? Why didn’t you reach out to the guy on FTO? Clearly you can’t communicate. Give me detailed status updates twice a day at specific times, covering <exhaustive list of topics> so I know you’re working. What do you mean “no”!?
Hey Root. Stop working on that ticket, and work on this other ticket. It’s the same thing, but different. High-priority!
Hey Root. You asking questions about that ticket pissed off a legendary golden boy principal dev, and he said it’s a bad idea and that we should have assigned it to a different team, too — you know, the team who usually works on these areas. But we might still have you do it. Please work on the previous ticket that’s in the exact same area until we decide.
Hey Root. Why haven’t you gotten anything done?12 -
You know how it is when all your friends know you as the "computer guy".
Friend: Yo, I need this small script for school, can you do it for me?
Me: I don't really...
Friend: Come on, pretty please.
Me: See I...
Friend: I'll pay you good for this.
Me: Oh... What language does it have to be in, Python? JavaScript? Ruby? Perl? I don't know it but it shouldn't be too hard, I can learn it. Bash? Not a fan but it's quite easy. So what is it?
...
Friend: Visual Basic
Me: oh...
This was last week. 2017. A couple of days before 2018. Some schools still teach VB. Not even VB .NET.
(He had about 200 good reasons so I did it anyway. But boy, has that been a chore)11 -
$work: Ey @Root, make this super simple thing.
$work: No, not like that.
$work: It also needs to do A, B, and C.
$work: No, not there. You should build it somewhere else, but I won't tell you where.
$work: You need to build out F and G, too.
$work: What do you mean you don't have the data? Just ask support drone #3. (who directs me to #2, and that one to #8 who doesn't know, and that one to #12 who won't answer)
$work: Why can't I do K, Y, or S? You should be able to infer these from the mind of whoever wrote the ticket by its wording, despite no mention of them whatsoever.
$work: Are you done yet? It's a super simple ask!7 -
Customer care guys are stupid
Me : yeah, OS crashed. It keeps getting into bios setup saying there's no hard drive detected on this system and no recovery file found as well, what do ?
Him : "well sir, your OS has been corrupted and now you have to buy new licensed one, if you can just give me your location I can help you locate out nearest service centre which will help you install a new licensed instantly"
Me : *WHAT THE ACTUAL TRIPLE FUCK* atleast try to understand the problem first.
Him : No need sir, I already come across this problem and now you have to pay, as I was saying *beep*
*I smashed the phone*
After that I fixed it myself
These low level shit licking faggots need to get themselves fucked in the ass by horses and then apply the same conversation when the intercourse begins with the horse.
Also, if I could be placed in the same customer care cell, I would do better.
So wk62 too I guess3 -
Life of Boris, a youtube chanel of a slav guy that makes random stuff (and some delicious russian recipes 😋) uploaded this video few hours ago.
I watched it, and I didn’t expect the video to be an actual Python tutorial 😂 I loved it!
What do you think?
P.D. I hope this is not necessary, but I remind you that Life of Boris is not a programming channel, please don’t be too strict, it’s just entretainment9 -
"please use a secure password*"
* But don't make it too secure, 20 Charakters is enough.
Why would you fucking do this? The only reason I can think about is a scenario like this:
"How do we store the passwords in the database?"
"Just like anything else?"
"So I create a VARCHAR(20)?"
"Yeah why not? It's good enough for a name, and you shouldn't use your or anyone else's name as a password, so it should be perfect"10 -
I'm sure this has probably been posted before, but it never fails to drive me nuts, and customers never stop doing it, so:
Why do end users think "it's broken" is all they have to put into the support ticket?
It's a web app, not a goddamn pretzel.
If the turn signal on your car stops working, do you drop your car off at the mechanic, hand them the keys, and say "its broken, fix it!"?
While I'm on the topic, "I tried to do {x} and it gave an error" is better than "its broken", but still: why do you think what the actual error says would be completely irrelevant, especially when we put in the effort to give you relatively meaningful error messages?
I mean, is "there was a problem sending the email" so utterly gibberish to you that it is indistinguishable from "error: 0x000351e6"?
If so, I'm sorry, but you're too stupid to use a goddamn computer!5 -
I saw this as a ./ comment a while back on a discussion about dev tools (sorry... don't have a link to the actual post...) It was so good that I printed it off and pinned it to my cube. Thought I'd share it here--
"The pain in programming doesn't come from the tools. Yeah, it's a pain to learn the tools, but that's short lived. The real pain comes from the nature of programming. It's caused by having to tell the computer in excruciating detail exactly what you want it to do without glossing over any of the 'you know what I mean' steps, because the computer certainly doesn't know what you mean. And not only do you have to tell it how to do the job when everything is working as it should, you have to anticipate all the ways in which things could fail and tell the computer what to do in those cases, too. THAT'S the painful part of programming--the programming. No tool is going to fix that."4 -
"Hey I am a programmer too! I can code anything, I bet I'm better than you!"
-
"Huh, that sounds cool! What languages do you like to write your programs in?"
-
............ "English"
🤦🏻♂🤦🏻♂
True story by the way, some guy I just met did this. I was not sure how to react. Should I laugh? Should I cry? Should I kill myself? Should I kill him?10 -
A: Can you tell me your opinion about this? Please, be honest.
Me: Ok, I think you could do it in a different way, but let's talk about what you did and see how to make it better...
A: I don't think so, I think this is the best way to do it.
Me: Oh, OK.
A: Why are you always complaining about my job?
Me: Well, you just asked me, and I work on this too, so I thought...
A: I don't think you're collaborative enough with me!
Me [walking away]: Oh, OK...6 -
Almost ever day I am the first one at office in the early morning. Other devs arrive at least one or two hours later. I don't mind. I just want to have a bit of sun left, when I go.
But why the heck...everytime I go, one of those other fucktards (which I normally really like), mumbles something like "you go this early today?"
Yes I do you dipshit!! You could arrive earlier, too!
And then, those late birds get credit for staying longest!!!
I mean, sure... If you start to work at 11pm, you have to stay long...
Meeeeh7 -
Manager: "We can't have new releases breaking older versions of the mobile app!!!!! We'll lose all our customers!!!!"
fullStackChris: "That's fine, we can do API versioning, but it will take some time to implement, I'll have to be quite careful and write some tests to implement it. Probably 2-3 weeks..."
Manager: "NO WAY, THAT TIME ESTIMATE IS WAY TOO LONG, WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT!!!"
fullStackChris: "So how do you wanna support multiple versions of the app without doing any sort of versioning?"
Manager: "...we'll think of something!"
Dev: "..."
And with 99% certainty, I expect to hear this in a week or two:
Manager: "fullStackChris, we'd like to introduce you to the highly technical concept, API versioning. It's a way to version the API so we can support multiple versions of the application our customers use! It's amazing! Please implement this immediately so we can support multiple versions of the application!"
Sigh... each day managers learn a bit more how physical reality works... you can't have your cake and eat it too.7 -
"I strive for code quality and maintainability. I actually do. And i will not work for a company that does not care about it and just wants something done as fast as possible.
The only time i will do something quick and dirty is if it's actually urgent. And even then with one condition - my next task will be to fix it properly.
I do not care about your deadlines. I will do my best to meet them, but not at the expense of code quality. I've seen too many projects fall into technical debt, where productivity is so low, that the only way to move forward is hire more people and start working on a project 2.0
And please do not lie about how great your company is, if it's not. These kind of things surface very soon, and you will have wasted both of our time, because as i said - i will not work for a company that does not care about code quality."
you think i'll ever get a job again if i put this on my CV ? :D10 -
What's so wrong with having no name for my position?
I mean, it's only me in this startup.
I AM THE STARTUP, DAMMIT.
Do I really have to start calling myself a CEO just to appear trustworthy?
But how does one become a Chief if there's nobody to supervise?
Hustler? Rockstar? Too 'startup'ish and just sad.
Entrepreneur? Founder? Sounds like something a scammer would use.
I'll just stick to leaving my position blank on my business card, thank you.20 -
I hate it when I try and have a discussion with another dev and the conversation devolves into something akin to:
Me: I'm doing a thing in y language! How do I do z using y language?
Dev: WHY ARE YOU USING Y LANGUAGE?! Y LANGUAGE SUCKS AND IF YOU USE IT YOU'RE STUPID. ALL REAL DEVS USE X LANGUAGE.
I just wanted to know how to do something. Maybe I don't want to do it in another language. Maybe I have to use this language for work/study. Maybe I've just been given legacy spaghetti code and can't change the system easily.
Why do people feel the need to do this? And if they want to flame a language why can't they do it constructively?
Dev: If you are trying to do a thing in y language, why don't you try using x language? It offers an easier way for you to complete the task that you want, and it has other amazing features too!
Then you could actually respond with the appropriate response which would be thanks but no thanks because of this reason or thanks i'll check it out.
No need to be so elitist all the time.3 -
Why the fuck do people care about age so much?
Unlike other activities, you can be 15 years old and be as good as a senior dev, so why the fuck do you need to degrade me because you found out my age?
I still deliver the promised work, so what the fuck?
As for kids who try to get recognition because they're young and program, well, fuck you too!
Programming isn't about age or maturity, since in this age of tech, anyone can pick up a computer and an internet connection and learn, so why do you feel that younger individuals have less capabilities?
I just had to get that out of me since it pisses me off a fuck load.16 -
Here is a preview of my Python devRant client
The client supports both CLI and GUI modes.
This is the CLI mode using the rant command.
CLI mode currently supports dynamic importing of custom commands (and creating your own command is documented already too).
If you do not like my rant command? Download or make another one.
Also, the command execution, import, and registration process all send events to the application object. This is in preparation for allowing mods!
Unfortunately, emojis are technically 2-width, so they totally fuck up the box I draw around the rant. Lots of work to do, but I was pleased with my first visual payoff today.13 -
Customer: The pages x and y are not displayed in the menu of my website.
Me: I've added another menu level. This level wasn't planned. Your pages will now be displayed.
Customer: Do you think I have too much menu levels?
Me (what I want to say): YES. You have too much of EVERYTHING! Too much menu levels, too much useless pages, too much bad formatting, too much different font colors in one fucking sentence! Your website is crap at all.
Me (what I said): No, it's okay.
I hate customers.2 -
Yo, is this devrant or spamspace???
Like, do you even fucking work, mates? Are you a dev? How doesn't a fucking legacy code piss you off on a daily basis? What are all the ways you want to respond to your customer's/PM's abuse? Does your lead dev even know jackshit?
Where did all your quality rants go? Why do you all sound like second graders writing essays for school? Have some passion for your job, and hatred for the incompetence for others!
Now, go produce some quality rants! Funny ones too! Bonus points if it's angry-funny.20 -
Let's portray Stallman as a malevolent criminal, dying on the creepiest hill, shall we? Apparently there's even people that make statements such as "if you defend RMS, you're just as terrible as he is".
Do you have any idea what you're talking about? Do you have any idea what the case even is?
Richard Stallman has a controversial opinion about a rape case committed by someone else. Gee, what a shocker, people have opinions. Does that make Stallman a criminal himself?
Oh but he's representing open source software. That's why he can't be there.
Oh yeah. Shunning him (and erroneously so) as another Reiser is gonna make open source look so good, isn't it.
"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."
- Evelyn Beatrice Hall, writer of Voltaire
People are entitled to any opinion they may have. Just because you disagree with it (and in this case I do too!) does not mean that it can be used to criminalize someone and to ruin their career. That is just wrong.24 -
You know what, fuck microshit to fuck town and back again.
What part of disabling "allow the computer to turn of this device to save power"
DO YOU NOT FUCKIJG UNDERSTAND!
MY FUCKING USB'S ARE GOING FUCKING MENTAL SWITCHING ON AND OFF LIKE A DRUNKEN HOBO YOU COCK FUCKS.
my week is a complete and utter shit of a week as it is, I don't need this bullshit on top of it too.
#Microsoft, fix your fucking shit already!4 -
We were already working overtime all Saturday. Boss came in the evening to demand some ridiculous shit. Me and senior dev agree it's ridiculous. It's already 1 am Sunday. I already explained to him why it doesn't make sense so he suggest more changes that doesn't even solve his initial problem. He asks me if I can do it by Monday morning. I can't. He suggested way too many breaking changes that I don't even agree with and I have to sleep like a normal human being.
I shit you not, he says he will do it himself. This guy barely even codes and has never seen a single line of code for this project. I didn't stop him. I went home and slept.
End of rant.8 -
The fucking cunts didn't approve my PR because "it wasn't necessary to do it like this". My PR would have fixed some technical debt, but yes, fuck you too if it doesn't fit your shitty narrative.8
-
User: The app is crashing! Fix this immediately. We can’t do our jobs without it!!
Dev: Patch applied, can you confirm it is now working on your end?
User: EXCUSE ME?! THAT IS NOT OUR RESPONSIBILITY! WE ARE WAY TOO BUSY, ASK SOME OTHER DEPARTMENT TO DO THAT OR DO IT YOURSELF!
Dev: …7 -
What the fuck is up with interviewers asking about my goddamn hobbies now? My hobby is slowly going blind while frustratedly talking to myself through an anthropomorphized rubber duck you fucking idiot, that's why I'm here in the first place. "Well we want a well rounded person". I'll give you a well-rounded asshole. It used to be, "well do you write code in your spare time too"? What the fuck do they want from us? Next time I'm answering this new "hobby" question as follows:
I DO COKE AND FUCK STRIPPERS! I'M THE ROCKSTAR DEVELOPER YOU'RE ALWAYS JERKING OFF TO, CAN YOU EVEN HANDLE THAT YOU ASTONISHING PUSSY?17 -
Have you ever felt misused just because you can do things fast?
I've faced this recurring problem with my PM.
It has got to a point where she would just change requirements multiple times a day just because
" this is a quick thing"
"the code for this should be small"
"try and see how it works"
"I too have coded in the past"
The best part is, anything that works was her idea. And anything that doesn't was built by Dev team.5 -
I work for "a" company. This company has completely broken my desire to improve user experiences.
For instance, they have fetishized reducing the amount of clicks users have to go through to improve user productivity. Normally this is good, in their grossly mutated views, not so much.
They want ALL the data on a single page, and want people to use ctrl+f to find whatever they want on these pages instead of, ya know, a site-wide search(which fucking exists).
So this makes page times and UX horrible, some pages will take upwards of 2 minutes to completely load. 2 fucking minutes! My team and I had reduced these down to 15 seconds by reducing the data displayed and paginating it using some awesome JS lazy load functions. Not great by any real metric, but still a huge improvement.
You know who uses it out of 400 employees? Me. You know who still constantly gets complaints that the pages load really fuckin slowly? Still me!
Fuck these dumb asses and their retarded ideologies. They are stuck so far up 1990s ass they can practically TASTE Clintons' taint.
The culture is so toxic for developers it's absolutely abhorrent and depressing.
There is no freedom to do what you need to do because you're too busy doing the things they ask you to do. Follow that up with quarterly performance reports that bring up questions like, "What do you do for us?".
The only positive to working in this shithole is that they wouldn't dare fire you because they would never find anyone that would stay long enough to become an expert on this pile of shit. Over the last year we have gone through an entire 16 dev team, twice. That's 36 developers that just straight up quit in 12 months, and it's not like any of them worked together either. I would say 3-4 out of the first group met the second group, and 1-2 stuck around for the current group.
I don't normally rant like this, but I've been holding this shit in for a very long time and I can't hold it in.3 -
I honestly don't get too mad when people aks me to do things like install programs for them. This is not my dayjob, but when you think of it, they're right when they say "you are a programmer so you must know how to do that". We do know how to do that. When you have a question about plants and you know a farmer, you are going to ask the farmer, even though he is not a gardener. He will know. Just as we know how to use computers very well.2
-
001 REM Code review
010 PRINT "Nitpick nitpick nitpick nitpick nitpick"
011 GOSUB REFACTOR
020 PRINT "This function is too complicated, break it up"
021 GOSUB REFACTOR
030 PRINT "Why do you have three methods for this? Put all the logic in one method."
031 GOSUB REFACTOR
040 GOTO 020
041 REM ARGH
998 PRINT "Looks good."
999 STOP9 -
First (procedural) c++ lectures:
Prof: K guys, go ahead and attempt the homework
Students: sir, how can we have 1 file per exercise?
P: oh, you can't, just make one huge file with multiple functions and rename them to "main" whenever you wanna run them
Me: WHY DO I EVEN PAY FOR THIS BULLSHIT
Ps: not allowed to use classes as that's too hard...8 -
Hey, i took a look at your code and heres how you could improve your performance!
"No thanks lol it works this way too"
Okay you fucking idiot, thats not how you do normal distribution
"Why are you so mean"1 -
It is incredible that we could see the Eclipse from Europe too :D
Wait, what do you mean this isn't the Eclipse everyone was talking about?!?10 -
Company: “we need you to engineer this for one of our clients because you’re an engineer and this is what we pay you for.”
Me: “sure no problem”
Company: “we also need you to do a cost benefit analysis, risk/reward analysis, gap analysis and swot analysis for market fit and business finance because we didn’t task anyone else with doing it and since we’re already paying you for this other thing you may as well do this too”
Me: (opens up resume.docx) “yeah I’ll uh…I’ll get right on that”2 -
Manager: "Hi Almond, how is X going?"
Almond: "...I don't know, Bob is in charge of that."
Manager: "Ok. Do you know the status of Y at all?"
Almond: "Not sure, isn't that Bob's responsibility too?"
Manager: "Well, yeah, but I never seem to be able to get a good answer out of him. Find out on both fronts and let me know ASAP please"
...sure, I know how this goes. I'll stop all the dev work I'm doing, do your job for you, talk to the lazy bonehead that never bothers doing anything, report back that he's done sod all (or still "in a requirements gathering phase" as he puts it), be asked "why is he taking so long", have a bit more back and forth, then decide we'll just leave him be as actually trying to get him to do any work is going to be too much like hassle 😒6 -
Today,
My "big boss" call me because I take too much time to develop a website. She thinks all I need to do is drag n drop. Why the f*ck do you need to hire me if it's only drag n drop you "super smart ass licker"? Man, this old people need some update about technology.
Btw, the "drag n drop" idea came from Dreamweaver YouTube tutorial.2 -
Please allow me to share my thoughts since I can't totally outrage my frustration because we have this so-called fasting to control our anger towards a person we currently disagree with.
A letter from your loving, sincere, pretty and gorgeous working partner to my young, chubby, smart and clever colleague:
Please do cooperate in times of live editing from the FTP since CTO is not and will never be going to appreciate version control since CTO is too tired for giving a shit and just want deliverables be delivered as fuck perfectly regardless of the resources that we have.
As you know, I tolerated you for not getting the freedom of live editing as what you've experienced from your previous team lead. All I ask of you is to get fresh file from FTP whenever we touch the same file because firstly, God knows how frustrating it is how your hard work is going to be replaced and be gone as much as I do. Secondly, I don't want you to experience how pain in the ass could this be in the long run, and lastly, I don't want any hard feelings to be wasted just because of this.
P.S. I'm too shy to send this to you because I don't want to hurt your feelings and don't want to sound too seriouz and feel old. I also hope we share the same telepathic understanding so we can agree with each other.
Your loving, sincere, pretty and gorgeous working partner,
xoxo ❤️
(thinking of stating my first name) 😂16 -
Me *setting up some coding environments via the terminal in Ubuntu Budgie*
Some random person next to me: Sorry to interrupt, but what you're doing looks very fascinating. What is it?
Me *tries to explain it as simple as possible*
Person: I didn't know you could do that on Windows! What version are you running?
Me *explains about Linux, dies inside*
Person: but why don't you just use Windows? This sounds too complicated
*friend calls after me, have to leave, saved*2 -
Week till deadline
PO: are we going to have feature xyz ?
Me: it wasn't in the original spec, we'll put it in the next spec.
PO: but we made a new spec for this fase yesterday and it is in that one.
Me: you can't do that you signed off the original spec before development started
Po: but we've signed this one off too
Me: ...6 -
Hey guys!
Been away for some time. Didn't have anything to tell tbh - until today.
As you may remember I started a new apprenticeship at big (and super cool) company. We develop software for various platforms.
I'm currently working on a plugin displaying some weatherdata. This plugin is supposed to be in 2 of our products. One is pretty nice but a pain in the ass to compile. The second one is a pure WTF. It's a web app with approximately half the functionality but 5x loading time (without demo data!) of the other product.
Well, today I learned why we have this loading time. They use I don't know how much different js frameworks and libraries for every single simple task. "It's easy and Facebook does it too. Besides that why are there frameworks if you could do it native?" HMMM LET ME GUESS BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE ARE FUCKING LAZY!?
Why do you need MULTIPLE frameworks for a simple web display!?3 -
Today I looked at some code from our CTO. He used plain SQL Statements with huge selects and no prepared statements.
I asked him:
1. why dont you build some helpers or even use some frameworks?
2. why are there no prepared statements?
His answer (to both questions)
We do not need that. That just uses too much ressources and time. It's more cleaner and simpler this way.
My Face: 😵1 -
In my first year of college right now, and on the first test we had to write some C# ConsoleApplications. We got instructions of what we have to taken as input, what we had to do with it and output it to the console.
I've tested them all and they all work correctly, which was the main objective. I have used the correct data structures, but I didn't get top mark. Instead, I got lower because "I didn't do it her way".
WELL F*CK YOU TOO!!! I hope this is not how every test/exam goes6 -
I noticed my co-worker has been using Atom editor for everything (we do Java/Scala). I asked, "So are you using the new language servers? How are you doing code completion?"
"I don't use code completion. I turn it off."
O_o "Do you not use screwdrivers? Like do you tighten screws in by hand?"
I've know people who code Java/Scala in emacs and vim, but they still had completion, type-lookups, etc. They was a higher learning curve in knowing all the keyboard commands, but all the tools were still there. I don't get people who refuse to use tools. It's reflected in this guys works too when looking at the code reviews.
When all you have is a hammer, everything is going to look like a nail.4 -
Those weeks when you get calls from recruiters offering you up to four times your current salary.
I enjoy my job, love the atmosphere, team spirit, freedom (although sometimes there's a bit too much of this!), but I have a family and am saving to extend our house.
I don't want to let my team down, I'm the only programmer dev in a team of 3 (others do front end web design but not much JS), but sometimes I wonder if I should pursue one of these better offers...5 -
I was going to write this in a jovial ranty style but I just can't, its too serious. So I'll just say it:
Do not touch your colleagues screen, ever. It's the height of rudeness. You can point without touching, it's not hard. Thanks.11 -
I fucking hate Reddit
Because I don’t interact with other peoples post too much but do so when the post is mine, I’m considered spammer.
The 90/10 rule is ridiculous.
This morning I got banned from r/internetisbeautiful because of this stupid rule.
Not because my website is not beautiful, hell, it got thousands upvotes. But because I used the same domain for different unrelated projects, same way you can have different GitHub pages under one user.
Fuck this, fuck18 -
Hey there! -first rant-
I need your advice mighty ranters.. I'm an introverted gal studying Computer Science at uni, and i love this field. Wanna be a web or app developer..
I need your help about 2 things:
1. Literally ANY advice, or things you wish you knew, when you were a rookie
2. I'm currently living in solitude, because of hard times in the past and i find making friends much more difficult at uni than in high school. It even starts to affect my productivity in a bad way. I have a hard time trusting people.
So any advice about this? How do you cope with too much solitude? Is there maybe a group for girl programmers? I don't know..
All advice are welcomed! (and IT jokes too, to make my day :D )
Thanks a lot !
Ps.: You are great! Awesome community.20 -
Just saw a job ad for a company they were asking for one developer they wanted software developer x 7 and senior developer x 2.
How cheap is that? If you want to hire people do so but don't bundle them up, the description for what is required is funny too, I love how companies don't even know any standard way of asking for a specific role just blurt you need this this and this senior is that plus knows how to lead, cool.
Is this really a real requirement: "Visual Studio experience"?
Or is this just some piss take?2 -
I believe this was the last attempt I had at doing a project for this customer before I just stopped replying to emails. I cannot emphasise enough how brutal it was communicating with this person. This was years ago. I'll keep it simple:
Customer: "Yeah so we need this page to look *exactly* like this. I've attached a picture, and I'll need this done soon because we're running a newsletter campaign soon."
Me: "Alright, I'll have it done by the end of the week." (I paid a student to do it, their work was impressive, it looked *EXACTLY* like the picture, but was now a functional web page)
*end of week*
Customer: "This is too exact!! I was hoping you guys would have some creativity, and have it do this and that!"
Me: "You said exact, we made it exact. I can do additional work to it."
Customer: "Well, we're not paying for additional work!!"
I left it at that.6 -
I HATE IT WHEN I HAVE TO BE NICE TO THESE KINDA FCKED UP IGNORANT PEOPLE
[11:10, 16/04/2020] +263 73 ...: Hi I want to develop an app do you live in glen view
[11:12, 16/04/2020] Softaz: Um in budiriro
[11:12, 16/04/2020] Softaz: What do yu have in mind
[11:15, 16/04/2020] +263 73 ....: There's an idea I've been testing and its about creating an app thats track patients with the covid virus the people they have infected even before the infected ones test positive
[11:16, 16/04/2020] +263 73 4....: What do you think about this coz this is not a money generating project but we will do it for humanity
[11:17, 16/04/2020] +263 73 4...: We will finish the project in less than 3 days coz I've got the research covered and how the app will operate I jus need someone who can punch the code
[11:22, 16/04/2020] Softaz: Its a good idea
Though your time frame is too tight
What platform will this app run on?
[11:26, 16/04/2020] +263 73 47...: About the time frame its becoz its a very simple mechanism4 -
Burnout is the absolute worst. Feeling like you can’t bring yourself to do anything even though you really want to work on the project. You know logically that you want to get it done and you do genuinely care about the project. But you just can’t bring yourself to commit to it anymore because you’ve given it your all for far too long. You keep telling yourself that you will get us back to work tomorrow or the day after. But rest never feels like enough rest it’s exhausting. Baby steps I guess. I feel like at this point I’ve just developed a habit of putting it off. Time to build a more constructive habit.2
-
It's official, I've come full circle:
"I assume you're not looking for a new opportunity right now, but do you know anybody that might be interested, or do you have someone to refer?"
Yes, let me do more work for you, even though you aren't interested in me at the moment. Shameless linking to a previous post which is the same: https://devrant.com/rants/5404347/...
At this point, I'm convinced its going to repeat until about 2050 when the entire software industry comes to a complete and catastrophic standstill.3 -
First rant here, and it's going to be a query to the more professional and experienced members of society (most of you).
I am currently a Sys Admin for a major company, and I develop at night. My primary employment at the moment is the sys admin job (and I code for extra money at nights).
I wanted to start a development department at the company that I am working at, but it was turned turned down. It was stated that we are not branching in development, and that we should stick to our server implementation and support. This was a prompt to me wanting to start studying officially (I wanted to get qualified in JAVA, so that I had some paper behind my name when I looked for another job). HR and my directors outright denied me the ability to study through them (they pay for studies for employees) and I was more than fine with this.
I took a loan and paid for the studies myself. Can't crush a dream, you know?
The director caught wind of me studying, and now has demanded that I develop him a mobile application for the company. I told him that I am not a mobile developer, and that it didn't fall into my key performance areas.
Note, I do my coding on own time, on my own device, and never at work. It's fully my intellectual property. It also in no way interferes with my work during the day, and has NO conflict with my contract this side.
He sent an email yesterday, this is after two months. He is now stating that I WILL do the application, and he has CCd HR and two directors.
I don't want to do the app for this company, I spoke to HR previously about this, and she said that I should try and quote it under my own company name (which I did, but it was denied as it was "too expensive").
Now I am being forced to do something that is COMPLETELY out of my roles and responsibilities, something that this company has ABSOLUTELY no desire to go into further on, and he is basically letting me know that if I don't do it, he is going to start messing with my pay.
I really don't want to do this, and I cannot afford to make my secondary job my primary at the moment. The problem is, too, that I don't have the time during the day to develop AND do my sys admin tasks (I manage more than 300 servers, and 5000 devices).
What can I do in this instance? Or what would you guys recommend, in your experience?
Sorry for the noob question, but I don't know what to do.19 -
I'm pretty new here, but I can't begin tell you how much I appreciate feeling like a part of a dev community for the first time. It's great having a place to share, vent, and occasionally let out a fuck-filled rant.
I guess most jobs are too formal for you to be verbal and brutally honest about your experiences and frustrations -- and friends can take the honesty but do not understand the technical stuff. This place seems to be the best of both words. Cheers.3 -
This fcktard client that insist on using an iframe and demands support for browsers like IE7. You are costing me years of my life.
Fucking fuck of a Microsoft trying to protect people against tracking from 3d parties in an iframe in random ways in some versions of IE7. Or IE11 in IE7 compatibility mode.
If you are going to refuse sessions just do it! I got a fucking check and fix for that. Because these fuck faces friendly people at Apple like to refuse sessions on iPads and iPhone too. But we worked that out, because they are at least consistent. So a few dirty little hacks made it all Okay.
But no, Boo Hoo I'm Microsoft and I will throw a tantrum. I like my browsers to be like an magican, instead of an usefull piece of software. If you look in this page, or look here we got them. I got your sessions, safe and secure.
But when you need me, to verify that the user is allowed to access data we do a little hocus pocus and now they are gone. Nowhere to be seen or found again. Fun times free fucking magic shows all day long.
It's morning but maybe its time for a bottle of scotch. Maybe if I'm in the state as this browser. Where I don't know what I'm doing because I'm shitfaced drunk it will start working.
When in Rome do as the romans do.6 -
Dear Swift, we have to break up. I’ve found a new language to love. Oh don’t act so surprised, you know our relationship was on shaky ground. You never let me have any fun. You’re always telling me what to do and how to do it and I’ve had enough. You treat me like a child, and I’m moving on.
Things were good in the beginning, and you may have impressed me with your automatic reference counting, but my new language can do that too, and so much more, and does it faster than you could ever imagine. You see unlike you, my new language doesn’t boss me around. It *trusts* me, Swift. That’s the one thing you never could understand. I need to be trusted; and know that I can trust in you.
Well I can’t. Not anymore, Swift. It’s over. My new language just treats me better than you ever could. I’m sorry it came to this but I deserve better than you Swift. We’ve both known this for a long time.
I wish you the best, but you probably shouldn’t call.
I’m with Rust now.1 -
A people person is only a people person to another people person. I fucking hate them. Most sales people I see don’t really have any skills per say. They think they do by claiming to be a people person. The entire sales community is like this. Fake as shit. They pay thousands to learn something that has been written in Medium or you could just Youtube. I think I can pretty much get the fact if you wanna make a video do well, you need a good title. They speak everything on the surface. And they claim to a be a layperson. Well, no. Fuck you. I not giving you an average. You are stupid as shit. They can’t write a proper fucking email. I have to go through kubernates and monads and they still make more money than devs via commission. They are too sober and fucking pretentious too. Fuck em fuck em fuck em.3
-
Boss: ABC
Me: as an intern at XYZ firm.
ABC: this is internet is very slow today, AmanDeep what happen check it.
me: Sir,there are too much user on the wifi.
ABC:So how we can disconnect them without their knowing.
me: We have to deauth all of their connection using fluxion.
ABC: Do it fast...
me: its take time to be done, you have to do by linux.
ABC: I had done it before in my high school on cmd you and your excuses for the work.You are lame at work...
...\../..
\......../
Me: Now i am searching a new internship...4 -
Is common decency too much to expect?
If you give someone a job in the company you work for, do you expect them to badmouth you? Or to try to humiliate you? Why do people do this?4 -
Coworker was adversarial from the get. He would always bully me by saying “You better do [BLANK]!” whenever we’d discuss tasks to be done. He eventually pushed my buttons too many times. I responded to his bullying tactic by yelling back, “IF I DON’T, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT!? Stop bullying me and let’s work TOGETHER on this!” I realize now he was fucking with my head.3
-
have you ever felt having bad code ocd that you feel like you really need to clean this old project that you got assigned to fix, but cleaning the whole project up would take too much time and it is just not worth it . But you feel like you really need to do it...3
-
I just bought a USB mobile power pack... Here my thought:
-It's on sale!
-But do I really need it?
-.... Will I could give it to my dad if I don't...
-but what it's it been... Chinese products are cheap...
-this isn't cheap... It's just on sale!
-hm....
-you know you'll need it.. at the rate my phone's battery gets used in a years time it won't be able to leave half a day...
-hm....
-cmon only $21 hrs left... this is a steal... It's only 15$....
-ah ok.... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
*After buying**
It's not too late to cancel.... Should I cancel?11 -
I have been sick for a week now. All I needed was one day of rest. But no, can't rest on the week days because I work late. Can't rest on weekends because work fucking calls me for retarded tasks that they are just too fucking lazy to do themselves.
Look gobknob, I understand you're not paying me overtime. Fuck you for that. But to deny me a day off because "we are too busy" and you can clearly see I'm fucking falling around due to illness is just a shit move.
"no doctors note, no time off". Yeah. You don't give me time to go to the doctor.
So you know what I did? I fucking went to the doctor now. Said I'm sick as a dog. Gave me a few days off too.
I should have asked him to prescribe my director a butternut sized suppository that cures all "I'm a shithead" ailments.
Time to try and turn my phone off for a few days (won't work. "oh no! We hired fuck twits who can't do their job, and now our skilled dev is sick" director "FUCKING PHONE HIM" this shit really happens.).
Excuse my grammar, my spelling, and possibly my punication. Time to sleep after 65 hours.4 -
I am a person who never lies. And when I see/hear others lie, be it for the benefit of mine or not, it gets my blood boiling. I disrespect liers with passion.
And I particularly hate magic fixes at work. You know the ones, when smth is not working for a few weeks, you involve 3 other teams responsible for their tiers, and then one day suddenly everything starts working. When you ask all the 3 tiers what has been done - everyone says "nothing".
If you do this bullshit to me, just know that everytime I remember you, before remembering your name/face/role I very vividly visualize pissing on your toothbrush right before you wake up.
Or did I do that for real..? Idk, it's too vivid to distinguish2 -
Fucking hate when business people says this to me:
- You have no time to do this, we will find somebody else to do it. (EXCUSE ME? how do you know I have no time? If have no time I WILL TELL YOU)
- Your team is too busy, we will outsource that (IF THAT it's a priority, we WILL DO THAT, fuck you, I'll tell you if we need to outsource or not)
- Requirements are too complex to do now. We will think about it and we will tell you, maybe it's just enough to add a column to db (WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS too complex? I didn't even see anything we can call requirement, nor speak with relevant people, so how do you fucking know they are complex if you don't know shit about dev and our platform)
Conclusion
It's true, I have no time, because I don't fucking understand what do you want, so I'm running all day and night doing useless things.2 -
My new coworker: That "I know everything about all and I'm better than you" kind. Is working on Accounting but already has her fingers on my work, telling my boss things like "that's easy to do"...
Of course, she knows absolutely nothing about programming and I.T., but is easy for my boss to believe an easy lie than a complex truth.
(sorry, crude language and caps follows)
Hey, listen you fucking excuse of person, DO YOUR FUCKING JOB and stay away of my DAMN GOOD FUCKING CODE and my FUCKING SERVERS.
Not going to give you admin access in a gazillion years, even if my life depends on it.
And stop saying nonsenses about things that you WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND, because those things are too complex and abstract for your little stupid mind to understand.
Go ahead, mess with me! Will sue you to the end of your FUCKING world!
Thanks girls/guys/lasses/lads.
This is absolutely therapeutical.4 -
I'm a geek. I love programming alot and I post programming memes and educational posts daily in my Instagram stories. There were many people in my profile who don't even know what programming is and when they see someone coding or sharing something related to coding, they call him/her hacker. That's what I used to be called in my Instagram account. I don't even know how to use Kali Linux, neither do I have any backend experience or experience in making exploits nor I shared any post related to hacking. Though I do post about cyber security things but the people are so dumb that everyday I get a new message in which the person asks me 'Bro can you teach me how to hack?', 'Bro let's hack a bank and we'll divide the funds' or 'Can you please hack my GF's account' and shits like that 😂 I'm like 'WTF is this!? What do you think I'm man!?' 😂😂 They all are really way too silly.
Please ++ this if ever happened with you 😂3 -
did you know, that in PHP, you can do:
if ( ! function_exists('function_name'))
{
function function_name()
{
//code of the function
}
}
which apparently means you can do
if($var == 'something'){
function functionName(){
//some code
}
} else if($var == 'something else'){
function functionName(){
//some completely different code
}
}
so now, apparently:
1. before this code executes, the function doesn't exist at all (okay, i can live with that)
2. after this code executes, any call to that function can result in any of those two completely different bodies of the same-name function executing, depending on what the $var was set at that time?
...so... now not only the same call to the same(name) function can do two completely different things, *but if you change the value of $var afterwards, you can't even properly find out which version of that function is in effect for the remainder of the run of the script*...?????
WHAT.
THE.
...i mean... I can't help but think that the idea of conditional function declaration like this is... kind of cool (have I been warped by JavaScript too much?), but at the same time... WHAT THE FUCK.18 -
Yea it’s totally cool. Dropping a conference call on me 30 minutes before it happens. And then you (and everyone else in the call) should be late too. And then do this stuff all the damn time and ask me why I have to push the deadline back. But get super pissy when I give you a realistic deadline that factors these bullshit experiences in!
Then after I wait 10 minutes on the line, tell me it’s been moved to the bottom of the hour which doesn’t really leave me enough time to do anything but play on DevRant. Fucking insanity.1 -
Fuck unreasonable deadlines. Just do your stuff as if you have the time of the world. Stop compromising the quality of your work and things are going to be done when they're done. Good quality stuff that's worth the wait.
I started to tell this to myself this week. For months now I took the bait that everything is urgent. And whatever crap management want has to be done yesterday. But.... Well... They pushed it too effing far.
Redo this module that took the former team about six months to finish. You have 10 days.
Well... What? Everyone is saying yes?... Everyone going full code monkey making no progress?
This is the moment I stop compromising and stop listening to your suggestions. I am going to do what I know how to do, the way I know it works, and I will not cut one corner based off your suggestions. I'm sorry, I've been dealing with this shit for too long already, and I don't want to suffer the consequences of degrading the quality of what I write anymore.5 -
Cannot understand those who are frustrated with it.
Sure, one can feel frustration when some project is not going as they were supposed to go, but that is life for ya, boi.
Without wanting to offend anyone it feels like devs who complain so much either do not actively search for a solution and learn shit properly and cry their soul out afterwards or they do search, but cannot find anything.
Patience is the solution. Do not let yourself fall down and stay strong.
Even if it takes a lot of willpower, retries, inner pain, patience and non-sleepy nights, you will and can do it. I believe in you.
My whole life was basically a psychological disaster.
I have had and still have depression and a lot of short frustrations from time to time, too, but I do not cry it out loud.
My high school is fucked up. In every single aspect. I am doing all-nighters almost every day. With maybe half an hour of sleep to get school projects done on time.
I cannot just say "fuck you. I am not gonna do this shit" to school, because that would affect my grades in a negative way. Same thing applies to you, as an employee, too. But at least you do not need to be afraid of getting bad grades.
Bad grades->not getting the desired degree->bad chance of finding a job
In your case:
Bad communication with boss->bad connection->bad chance of finding a job
But is that really so?
I do not think so. Nonetheless, you still can have a good chance of finding a job, if you have proven yourself to others in a great way. Everyone has bad times. Even with their bosses. That's normal. Being bad with someone does not make yourself bad in general.
The job world will still accept you, but school won't accept you again. Whenever I feel like the burnout is about to catch me, I take an immediate break and go outside. Take a walk in the sunset. Go to the forest. Run with music playing loudly. Swim. And other things like watching the stars in the silence of the night.
To finally come to an end here...
Do not make yourself feel bad that quickly and try to endure the pain. This is going to make you a better and stronger person.
If you cannot do it anymore (hitting the borders of burnout), take your time and do whatever makes you happy and treat yourself.
Life is not all about work. Were you born to be a worker? No. Were you born to be a slave of others? No.
What is holding you then? Let go of all the stress (for a minute). You are free.
You are a great person.
Do not forget that.7 -
"Yesterday "
Client: ''Perfect! How did you do this do quickly? "
Me: "I used a library"
"Today "
Me: "I'm still debugging. It will take some time"
Client: "well, It has already taking too long.... I can hear Mozart in the background. Maybe you need to go to a library to get some quite and get it done fast. Visit the one you used yesterday. "
Me: "library?Ahh... I meant plug in like.... Code, a library is a bunch of packed code. "4 -
Today's rant will be brought to you by the letters A, W, and S.
I stayed up all night, ALL NIGHT, and finished this cool new feature, which is an integration between two technologies that tmk has not been done before. In short, I invented a thing last night.
Then at 5 fucking 30 this morning my EC2 fucking died. No SSH, no HTTPS... nothing... can't get into it to see what's up.
Put in a support request to AWS and finally went to bed. Wake up this morning to still nothing.
Can't wait for AWS support, try stopping and starting my instance... nevermind I'll have to re-setup SSH, and VS Code, and Workbench.. (which why the fuck can't I keep an IP through a reboot in the first fucking place!)
But nevermind that I was willing to do all that... this piece of shit won't start up any fucking way.
Fuck.
Now I have to rebuild this fucking EC2... and I could try to snapshot it... but that would probably fuck up too, so I'm just going to do it by fucking hand like I do everything else.
Fuck AWS.4 -
Don't you guys feel like sometimes we make a huge deal in regards to what is basically grabbing a bunch of shit from a db and making it display on a flipping website?
I sometimes feel bored at how repetitive this shit is. Its the same shit, with various degrees of complexity to do that get data and post data or update data.
I dunno man, sometimes i just feel like there is too much for something that is inherently simple.3 -
PM: To achieve this, do A
Me: That's unnecessarily complex, can't we do B
PM: Ooh, so it's too complicated for you?
Me: No, it's complex, it will bottleneck the system
PM: We've done A in 5 different websites, so you should do the same
Me: ......5 -
I was reading a book and came across this :
"
What if you were a doctor and had a patient who demanded that you stop all the silly hand-washing in preparation for surgery because it was taking too much time? Clearly the patient is the boss; and yet the doctor should absolutely refuse to comply. Why? Because the doctor knows more than the patient about the risks of disease and infection. It would be unprofessional (never mind criminal) for the doctor to comply with the patient. So too it is unprofessional for programmers to bend to the will of managers who don’t understand the risks of making messes.
"
It's fair point but at the same time we have to comply with the manager in order to have a raise/promotion. What do you think guys ?6 -
Gdpr thing aside...
Does anybody read the new policy...
I just did for 2 apps (intel driver software and 9ga.. You know it)...
On the things that they collected on the side without you knowing include:
9ga:
Device memory, language, battery level, timezone, unique device identifiers, compass, accelorometer and microphone... Even service provider and signal strength
Intel:
Website you visit, how you use your computer(vague too vague) and computing environment.
Did anybody knew for sure before this that their apps are listening to them? That they just made a profile of you with all the data?
With all this they dont even need your ip they already know who you are and what you do on a daily basis...
There are 20 more but it will be waaay too much to write about. These 2 are way worse since 9ga doesnt use microphone for anything... And why a driver reads what websites i am going to?4 -
A story from around 2005:
Customer laying out specifications: “We expect this software to need to last 25 years or so, and it will need to keep historical file processing data by dates for at least that long, assume storage is no issue.”
Devs at the time: “look best I can do is support that start with 200 or 201, anything else is really too much to ask. Also understanding how to work with dates at all and not just string manipulation is waaaaayyy hard yo.”
Fuck you lazy motherfuckers. This is why people thought Y2K would be a problem. -
Do you guys often get upset because of people that ask your job because when somebody asks me what I do for a living and I say "I'm a programmer" this someone says one of these:
1- Oh really, can you tell me HoW tO HaCk NaSa? (It's more often than you think)
2- WOW AWESOME SO I HAVE THIS BiLlIon DolLarS ApP IdeA CaN yOu ProGraM iT?
3- Hm... and... what do you do for a living? (Apparently programming is not a job)
4- Cool! Me too! Bcs once I MaDe ThiS GaMe I prOGraMmed WiTh GaMeMaKer (true story, and it was a flappy bird, but in the place of the bird it was chuck norris with a moustache instead.)(with lasers.)(Also it wasn't really working.)
5- Cool bro, so, can you take a look at my printer?
6- Hm nice * looks away with disgusting face * (that was my own family lol ;-;)9 -
CSS, I fucking hate you.
I fucking hate my job, because of you. I'm pulling my hair out every day, all day because I have to put up with your bullshit. If it weren't for you, I'd probably enjoy design.
You're not even programming. You're the mistake that happened when web-design developed too rapidly for the devs at the time to keep up and produce intuitive, functional tools. That, or they were just fucking sadists.
You're a band-aid that's started to rot, but we just keep sticking pretty stickers over you and pretending like the wound isn't festering.
I wish I could spend more time learning C and C++. Then I could go get a real job as far away from you as is virtually possible.
. . .
Look, just this once - just for today - could you please do what I fucking ask you to. I mean, I'm just asking you to do your fucking job. That's all.22 -
I'll give you a few reasons to walk away from a dev's chair:
1. if you want your life to be simple and not challenging, if you just want to go with the flow - choose something else. Dev's life will definitely bring some challenges to your day (and sometimes night, and sometimes - your weekends). Especially if you feel you are a perfectionist, dev life could turn your life into a living hell if not handled with care.
2. If you like to see people smiling, if you love that feeling when you help someone and that someone has a better day thanks to you - choose something else. 1st line SD would probably do, but the further from technology you go - the more smiles (and human faces overall) you'll see.
3. If you prefer person-to-person interaction over to talking to machines - definitely don't be a dev. Go to management, administration or smth else, but development. >90% of the human interaction in this field is arguments and conflicts; ~8% are requests for assistance, and the remaining 2% are shared by saying "hi" to the office administrator and your (semi|)annual reviews with your manager. Not kidding.
4. If you have a personality where you find it difficult to stand your ground and not budge to the pressure/blame game/your managers asking you to stay in late. Like it or not, it happens quite often. Many devs have spoiled the management by budging to their requests/demands to stay for OT/unpaid OT to "fix the mess they have made". That's a blame game right there. And these people stay in and do what the slaves do - work for free because they are yelled at. And then management sees this technique work and (ab|)uses it on other devs. If you can say NO and stick to it, prolly wave with some printed paragraphs of labour law in front that manager's nose - it won't be a problem. But if your consciousness is too troubling - stay away from this field of engineering.
5. If you want to easily "disconnect" from work and go do something else - dev's career might be a problem. Yes, your computer might be shut down/hibernated/suspended after 5pm until 9m the next morning, but your brain will most likely keep trying to solve the problems you were facing. You'll prolly use your own computer to do some research, check some forums, docs, etc. - this is all your free time, this is all your family time donated to your manager (and to your personal knowledge base). Not to mention, all these things you learn will soon enough become obsolete, as new technologies will replace them. So if you'd like to easily "disconnect" after 5pm, doing that as a dev might be too challenging.1 -
As I was refactoring a class in a TypeScript project, I changed calls from `this.config` to `this.getConfig()`.
Suddenly, the tests were failing as somehow the live credentials were used from within the test.
Digging deeper I discovered this.
interface Base {
public config;
public getConfig();
}
So far so good. Wondering why config needs to be public, though nothing too shabby, let's look further:
class MyImpl implements Base {
constructor() {
this.config = this.getConfig()
}
getConfig = () => someGlobalVar;
}
┻━┻︵ \(°□°)/ ︵ ┻━┻
Why would you do this? This breaks dependency injection completely.
In the tests, we were of course doing:
testMe = new MyImpl();
testMe.config = testConfig;
So even though you have a getter, you cannot call it safely as the global var would take precedence. It's rather used as a setter within the constructor. WTF.
Sad part is that this pattern is kept throughout the entire codebase. So yeah for consistency!?
(And yes, I found a quick workaround by doing
getConfig = () => this.config || someGlobalVar;
though still, who in their right mind would do something like this?)1 -
At every family outing (I was typing "family function" but that may confuse this audience..
Uncle: That Mark Facebook guy is worth billions now! And the Twitter guy too. When are you going to think of something?
Me: You think of a unique idea, I'll build it.
Uncle: I don't know, that's what you do isn't it?
Me: *sigh*
(This is the same Uncle that shares "Free Holiday" posts on FB and is always quick to answer FB questions such as "I bet you can't name a fruit starting with A"...)3 -
How to waste money as a dev company, 101:
Give people ton of budget for their education to do whatever they want with it with no oversight at all:
1) Devs go to some shitty confs in places across the world that teaches them nothing (new) so they can visit interesting places on company's money
2) Go to a conf where you learn ton of stuff that can be implemented right away
...Then you come back, no time to do stuff properly, just "make it work" (or make it seem like it works), because of deadlines, poor prioritization, new features, bad planning, vague roadmap and poor client management. And the worst of them all, LGTM code reviews.
Few months later, who the fuck wrote this shit? Oh, dude that left? What about this mess? Oh, he's a goner too. What the fuck should this random undocumented chunk of code do?!
Do that a few times and you've got bunch of pissed off clients with a ton of bug reports nobody can solve without wasting 20x the amount of time it would originally take.. LGTM
RIP project.6 -
Fuck it..
What’s the point?
Why do we care about a point at all?
Why do we even try to make sense out of it?
I’m religious but if you think about believe long enough that’s a point to question as well.
I guess the 2nd lockdown is getting to me.
I’m extremely introverted but this I too isolated even for me.
In the the 1st lockdown I made it for 3 weeks, now I’m breaking after 1.5weeks....6 -
'nother "teacher" story here.
Little background knowledge: I'm repeating the things he told us about at home and try to learn them by myself. I use the newest Visual studio and .NET framework version.
In school we have pretty old PC's and even older .NET framework. But let this insanity begin...
As normally i entered my classroom a little late (I have a dangerous habit of ignoring my alarms) and sat down on my chair. We were only 3 people including me at that moment so everything was pretty chill. I ask him what our task was and something along these lines occurred:
Me: what's our task?
Teacher: you remember your shopping list program? I want a textbox in it next to the listview and I want it to show every listview item
Me: that doesn't make sense
Teacher: yadda yadda just do it
Me: kaaaaay, anything else?
Teacher: actually yes! Please use inheritance.
Me: *baffeld* that doesn't make any sense at all. We have 5 different fruits; you tell me i should make a class per fruit!?
Teacher: yes of course! This is how professionals do it all the time. Please give them a distinct attribute, too.
Me: *angry* I'm. Not. Gonna. Do. This. This is total bullshit and also really bad coding style. I'm not going to teach myself something that doesn't make sense at all.
(Note: i know how inheritance works and he knows that too)
Teacher: You have to do it, you won't be prepared for final exams otherwise!
Me: leave my exam prep to me. I won't do this.
Teacher: *grumbles* fine
Later that very same lesson i got a .NET compatibility error. I couldn't work because I wasn't allowed to change anything on the installation nor to install a newer framework. So basically he told me I should've used 'sharpdevelopment' (which is not able to do windows Forms, but hey who cares) and this would not have happened. I was so furious at that moment i just took all my stuff, told him that I work 'from a place where i got decent software and space to think' and left the room.
Why did this person decide to become a programming teacher?7 -
How in the fuck do you start getting clients as a freelancer? Do I just throw stuff on my GitHub and pray someone hits me up on Fiverr? Upwork won't accept my account and it's been fucking four months of me trying. I took to becoming a full-time designer to push our startup's products to completion but a fucking failure over there too everytime.
Everything is a fucking shitfest and I'm just whining at this point but I needed to take this off of my fucking chest. A good fucking day to you too.8 -
Did you know? TL;DR stands for "too long; didn't read".
BUT DID YOU FUCKING KNOW THAT THE REST OF THE FUCKING TEXT MATTERS TOO?
Fucking read the rest before trying to be helpful. You wouldn't discuss a book after reading the summary, the same applies to questions.
"just do it like that"
"But that's not what I asked, I need it this way"
"Why would you need it this way?"
"ID fucking K. Maybe I left a fucking hint about that in the context? Can you spare like one or two minutes to read the context?"3 -
I've made a fucking retro game and it takes too much time and effort to make this thing when I complete my game I showed this to my cousins and their first words was it is too boring anybody could make it could you make something like pubg or fortnite when I listen to these words they were fucking demotivating and made me drive crazy I don't know how do I explain them how much hard to make something like this.14
-
Are my rants supposed to be well documented, too? Or like submitted as if it’s a GitHub issue, where I shall add details such as what’s not working, how do you expect it to work, steps to replicate the bug, screenshots?
Why tf am I even overthinking this?! Lmao8 -
Spotted this and it was too good to pass up. For those not familiar with the word used in the punchline, I suggest you not do what a coworker did when she decided Google Image Search was a good way to figure out what “teabagging” was...11
-
User A: We need to do some check on our data. So you need to add in a new function for this, we can't use your system otherwise.
Me: Ok then.
Spends 2 days or so to get it working
Me: So this is the function we'll add. Can you confirm that its ok?
User A: Ohh...but now I'm not too sure about this. Let me confirm with my team lead on this.
User A: I just checked. Good news,we don't really need that function now. I think we can use it with the current one anyway haha. And I just confirmed this so no worries.
So I just wasted my time then. Great.3 -
Caller: Hi, I work with Google. Can I talk to the decision maker of [your company]?
Me: I am. (Ho, my god, this is finally happening, I'm the chosen one!)
Caller: Would you like to improve your visibility on Google by ...
Me cutting short: Thanks but I'm not interested.
*Click*
To myself: Raaah, me too I work "with" Google!
(no my phone doesn't do *click*, it does *bee doooom*, but well)1 -
Okay, mr neighbor, i get it, how have a drill and too many walls, youve been doing this crap for the past fucking week, do you have a cheese fetish and want to live in an ementaler????1
-
This new job has more work than I can possibly complete in a day, week, or month. Deadlines pile up and I’m thoroughly exhausted all weekend. My mind feels lethargic and dull. People around me seem to be getting stuff done and I feel like I’m making too many mistakes and holding everyone back. Not sure I can stick with this job for the long haul to retirement. But freelancing absolutely sucks because nobody wants to pay you enough to feed yourself and it doesn’t scale to a full time salary for me. I simply don’t have the mental capacity to do the equivalent of four peoples’ jobs to design, code, QA, launch, and do all the digital marketing, advertising, writing, and maintenance for enough sites to make up my salary.3
-
I'm struggling at work. I hate senior mgmt at this company so much it's actually affecting my ability to produce work.
Fuckers high up have been delaying performance reviews for like a year, but they get their fucking bonuses with no delay. I can't afford not to have a job, so I'm trying to work, but it's hard. I try to keep things in perspective that they're still paying me so I should just do my job.. but how do you do it if you hate those cunts at the top so much. I became so toxic because of all the resentment too.5 -
So we've got a gif that doesn't show up in our React Native application. Of course, the designers assume it's me: "are you sure the gif is in the codebase? how are you using it in your component"? yeah ok boomer. I'm like, look at this other gif, works fine. "oh" So I tell them, double check the export options on how you are building the gif, maybe there is something there. so now they are asking ME for those export options. I'M A DEV, NOT A DESIGNER, DO YOUR JOB AND FIGURE IT OUT. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT PROGRAM YOU ARE USING
oh as an aside, I was putting up a website for a client and they are like "my logo is quite similar to many others, is this something to worry about legally?" OH, SO NOW I'M A LAWYER TOO??!!?!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE GOOGLE IS LITERALLY IN FRONT OF YOU
why do people continually think just because we can code we are fucking designers / lawyers / astronauts
/ god?
man this pisses me off - i think of that draw red lines with blue ink expert video, in the end, just smile and nod: "i can do... absolutely anything... trust me, I'm an expert"4 -
I hate my coworker. I'm currently working in IT, but both my former full-time programming and my IT work has taught me how to dig for things and find them. He has learned this, and is CONSTANTLY bringing me things that have NOTHING to do with my job because he's too fricking LAZY to do it himself.
"Hey, there's a credit memo on this Amazon statement. I'd like to know what it was for, thanks."
SO LOG ONTO AMAZON AND LOOK FOR IT WITH YOUR OWN TWO EYEBALLS. I've got my own work to do without doing your AP detective work for you. THAT'S PART OF YOUR JOB.
But unfortunately I REALLY hate conflict and so I just do it for him, seething the whole time and knowing I've just reinforced the behavior.
EDIT: Before anyone says it, no it is not because he's stuck. If someone is at the end of their rope I'm glad to help them. But I've taken to asking him "so what have you tried?" And every single time he says "nothing." It's gotten to the point he'll literally say, "Hey can you do this for me? I haven't looked at it at all or tried anything." But he just doesn't catch on.5 -
!Rant
"The best programming language is C++ because games were made with it" OH MY FUCKING GOD JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Do you guys get this unbelievable dump statement too? I could punch every person who ever said dat 😑 Not is is absolutely wrong, C++ isn't even a got language! It's painfully FUCKING slow!! Why the fuck do people say something before they get their freaking brain to work! 😑😑😑
I FUCKING HATE ARGUING WITH THOSE PEOPLE. THEY NEVER ACCEPT OTHER OPINIONS.
GOD DAMN IT!35 -
Since I already achieved my dream of being employed as a mobile app dev, I'm into creating music now to prove myself I can achieve something with this too. But you know, I'm kinda lost what to do. Like how I was when I started programming 😂
Maybe one day I can combine both skills into something interesting.9 -
Everyone talking about Docker as the next big step in productivity. I still miss why Docker is so useful, to be honest, I see it as a "micro-vm " running your own software.
I have used this technology before but I really struggle to see where I could apply it usefully.
At this point, I'm thinking I'm just too naive about the issues it solves. So lemme go straight to the point:
1. How does Docker speed up your productivity?
2. How do you use it?17 -
A peeve of mine is when someone in the software industry denigrates a technology/tool/framework outside of his role eg webdevs on sysadmin stuff or viceversa.
I'm not trying to shame anyone for having subjective experiences, I just think that if you're gonna talk about tools that are not on your domain, then you need to be twice as humble as usual.
I'm a webdev and I don't post around how I KNOW how to make ssh secure, while other people devote their entire careers to that and all related matters.
What prompted me is seeing some not webdevs do this here that seem to be sysadmins/devops (can't tell for sure since I don't know them), but in real life, I've seen people from any role do this, webdevs too, even testers!
Imagine you had cancer, and you had a tumor extraction, and the oncologist said to the surgeon "step aside son, let me show you how to deal with cancer".5 -
I worked with this hack of a backend dev that was too lazy to add a complex(ish) object to our CMS tool. His solution?
One giant-ass text box with the label "put JSON here".
If tech people were using it I wouldn't mind, but our poor content managers have no idea what json is. Plus like... no examples, no schema... they would have to change shit then go look at the website to see if it worked. Fucking asshole.
Plus.. I mean SHIT, MAN! This was in a Node.js tool... if you have the Json parser you could just GENERATE the respective form fields. DO YOUR JOB2 -
Do you, guys, have any VPN suggestions? I'm mostly looking for a VPN that doesn't throttle your speed, allows and encrypts P2P connections and is secure and reliable. I'm not quite sure what other more specific requirements I'm looking for, since I'm not too knowledgeable in this domain, but I'm nonetheless thanking you in advance :D7
-
Human-robot studies suck.
Like, why do I even have to compare dumbass humans to computers? Or why should I even make my robot human friendly? Why can't humans be robot friendly? Example: Robot says beep, you get out of the way. Why should the poor robot do so much planning because humans are too stupid to move out of the way? How is this fair?6 -
> Mister IHateForALiving, we need a new table on the website do to thing
No biggie, we know there's a datatable plugin somewhere.
> No, you can't use that, it doesn't have pagination
Oh, right. I also see here it was last updated 4 years ago, it's kinda shit too, it's like the inbred cousin of a real datatable. Ok, how did you tackle the thing until now?
> There's a script template somewhere in the page, we iterate over that to create our tables
Ok, but I'll have to write some logic for that, how much time do I have?
> I want this to be online by this evening
Can't be done, what if we used a normal datatable like normal people?
> No, it looks too different from the real site
How am I supposed to manage the thing then?
> IDK, just reload the page every time
_____________
And here we are, triggering a full page reload on an already bloated Laravel app (something like 600-800ms) for 20 lines of json. Great idea mister team leader, but consider the following: fuck you and your bastard lineage.4 -
Im thinking about leaving my employer because I keep getting way too much work on my plate, people get annoyed that its not done in time and tell me that i should tell them if im getting too much work.
So i tell them its to much and our deadlines are to tight, then i just get told "this is how we always work, we just gotta finish things faster and better"...
Another one is that our HR/office manager keeps bugging me about setting up SMART goals so i can prove my value to the company and that its my responsibility to do so if i want a pay raise (even if im already underpaid)...
Im sorry but if you wanna keep me, you gotta give me some damn incentive to stay...
Ive been putting up with it sofar because i like the office and the people and the majority of the work itself and i really dont wanna go looking for another job because im really bad at it... but wtf... im so done with all the "how does this work" questions too...
tl;dr: getting negative reviews because im bad at my own evaluation is gonna make me quit probably, while im being praised for all other work i do4 -
In getting a remote job, go to a lot of online job boards. Filter their feed for remote work or work from anywhere. Get the RSS feed (if they don't have it, make one yourself), and add them to your RSS reader, like Feedly.
Do the following daily:
Go through the feed, study the job post ad, apply for the job as per their instructions. Archive those you don't have an interest in and those that you have applied. Repeat.
This also applies for hunting freelance contacts too.3 -
I spent the whole day on git conflicts, I know it happens sometimes. But I do feel like a slow programmer, the boss even said so by comparing me to someone who has 15 years experience by saying I produce less lines of code than than him ( I have 5 years of experience).
So everyday, I have this nagging thoughts; "you are too slow, you can't even program, what are you doing, do something else this isn't for you etc" .
And then when I solve the problem "You are the best, you know everything etc"
A constant battle between self-destructive and positive thoughts.10 -
HAHA FUCK YOU HR RECRUITER!!
This fucking lady tries to steal my devs while i spent a lot of blood sweat and tears raising them.
Thankfully my devs are happy with their work type, salary, and conditions. So they showed me a screenshot of her phishing attempts.
There is so much damage I can do to her, and her company as i got all the information, its very tempting.
Since its a "common" dirty and distasteful move, the most sensible course of action I can think of is public shaming. That too is common, dirty and distasteful. But im not that kind of guy.
What do you guys think, should i suck it in and let it slide or public shame her for her actions?3 -
I was making the bed at my hot blonde gfs apartment and accidentally VERY SOFTLY, Touched, not even aggressively hit, this motherFucking chandelier at the ceiling, and now its hanging on the cables. Are you fucking serious. How can a gentle touch unscrew this fucking lamp and get it fucked up like that so much
Electricity works and all is good so i guess it only needs to be screwed back up?
Who the fuck even made that shit so poor quality. Must have been the shittiest electrical engineer ive ever seen! Probably graduated from online classes too! Fuck you
What do i fucking do now. I feel so bad. It was an accident and i fucked up in someone elses house
Should i fix this myself or am i completely cooked?
Should i call electrician to fix this bullshit?
Pls how much does this fix cost. I hope motherfucking not more than 20-30$ !!!39 -
Imagine a time when a colleague contributes a shitty spaghetti of non-optimized code that neither use mnemonic variables nor conventional naming of functions, and you can imagine the dark hours of maintaining it and your fingers itch to fix it but you don't have the time and the responsibility too to do it. He doesn't listen to you and you feel bad to tell this to the boss as the colleague is also a friend you've known since college and is a good person otherwise. No options seems to give peace.6
-
I love git stash.
It's helps a lot for doing refactors to me. I guess it's not the most complex workflow, but it wasn't obvious to me when I started with git. Let me explain.
Refactors. As you start writing the first lines of a refactor, you start to notice something: you're changing too many things, your next commit is going to be huge.
That tends to be the very nature of refactors, they usually affect different parts of code.
So, there you are, with a shitload changes, and you figure "hey, I have a better idea, let me first do a smaller cohesive commit (let's call it subcommit) that changes a smaller specific thing, and then I'll continue with the upper parts of the refactor".
Good idea, but you have a shitload of changes nearly touching every file in your working copy, what do you do with these changes? You git stash them.
Let's say you stash and try to do that smaller "subcommit". What sometimes happens to me at this point is that I notice that I could do an even smaller change inside this current "subcommit". So I do the same thing, I git stash and I work on that even smaller thing.
At some point I end up `git stash pop`ing up all these levels. And it it shows that git stash is powerful for this.
* You never lose a single bit of work you did.
* Every commit is clean.
* After every commit you can run tests (automated or manual) to see shit is still working.
* If you don't like some changes that you had git stashed, you can just erase them with git reset --hard.
* If a change overlaps between a stash you're applying and the last "subcommit", then
if they differ, git shows conflicts on the files,
if they are identical, nothing happens.
with this workflow things just flow and you don't need to wipe out all your changes when doing simpler things,
and you don't need to go around creating new branches with temp commits (which results in bloated temp commits and the work of switching branches).
After you finish the refactor, you can decide to squash things with git rebase.
(Note: I don't use git stash pop, because it annoys the fuck out of me when I pop and you I get conflicts, I rather apply and drop)4 -
To everybody who remembers my infinity rant. Lets do another try.
This time, lets try to make a stop motion montage.
Take a piece of paper and drow something that fits with the last image. Anything is allowed, but: after sending a picture, please wait a little before sending more.
Remember that this will be a gif with about 5fps. So dont make the jumps between scenes too big.
It surely wont look super nice. But i wanna see what the community can do. XD
So as said, no pressure. If you cant draw or your image doesnt tightly fit the previous ;)
Ps: i dont append a picture, so the first picture and thereby the theme of this gif is also decided by the community!!! XD1 -
the moment when you say fuck this functionality and let’s get rid of this 15 screens and replace them with simply point and click and they say but google did it like we wanted… Well google is valued trillion dollars and we are valued nothing. If you want this shit pay million to some developer so he would do one thing and deliver this…ok it’s not needed, fucking 12+ years making startups and delivering projects and still need to deal with morons who say google did it, yeah ask them to develop some functionality for you and fuck you too… I saved you year of work you morons and you fucking complain, dude you need to start selling your products and I want to enable it to you, if you don’t understand that shit then fuck you…3
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When you finally have some servers racked and configured in VMware to build a lab environment for the team....
But to access VMware you need to run citrix receiver from a mac to launch Chrome on Windows to access the VMware ESX Web UI but only on the HTML5 version as Flash doesn't work....
Now to spin up virtual machines that you can only upload via ova images but not locally cos that tries to show you the Windows citrix local files....
Do I even dare ask if I can access this via API so I can actually provision this with Ansible like I want too?! -
One of my collegues:(C#)
A(him): i need to do a helper to transform 2 fields from a class that are DateTimeOffset to another offset. I want to create a new class that do that and to instantiate where i need it.
B(me): use extensions, they are nicer and they fit better in this case. Also if you want to use a helper just make a static function.
A: it's too complicated
B: Why?
A: Nevermind..
FUCK OFF!1 -
Me: *opens devTools*
Firefox: yea bro lemme just ..uh.. hmm yeah so this is the css for the element, see?
Me: Thanks.
Me:
Me: this makes no sense, why would I ever do that?
Firefox: also you can't have width on an anchor tag. I can't put that rule into effect
Me: I didn't put any width on your inline element, you sure about that?
Firefox: yea try using display: inline-block
Me: No. I'll just delete that. *checks file*
Me: Maybe that line is wrong because IT DOES NOT FUCKING EXIST!
What is this shit? I just restarted you! What else do you need, a reinstall? Drink too much over the holidays?
It's like the css editor has become a shallow tray with rules on it, and as soon as you bump it a little everything spills over and then Firefox just thinks oops, I've got this font-size: 200% lying around, lemme stick this into the hr tag which makes sense because THERE CAN'T BE ANY TEXT IN IT.9 -
Ok I need a second post for this week. A tech lead decided to have a one on one meeting with me in public on the clients' floor where he decided to get angry at me (in public mind you) about using too many design patterns and inheritance because that "makes the code too hard to read. Instead use a lot of if-else's like I do." So not just is he an idiot, he did this in public on a floor with people who didn't know programming so now I look awful. I was furious.2
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"I need a way to create PDFs from word documents"
"OK, here's Cute PDF, just print to it"
"Great, how does this work with my pdf letterhead?"
"Oh, well that's different, we'll need to create a word template with the letterhead pieces from the PDF. Here you go."
"OK, how do I merge the word documents generated by my fuckmess of a CRM software system?"
"You can copy and paste it, or we can purchase this software for you that should be able to do it"
"Why didn't you install that software first? You guys are useless"
Alright buddy, fuck you too. I'll be sure to automatically assume that even though your initial email is a full, complete request, that there's more behind it and read your mind through the email going forward.1 -
Gah! (Totally guilty of it too but...)
That feeling when you ask a question like "how do I make SQL less intolerable for my team?" And you get answer like "just don't use SQL lol. Use this other thing!"
I appreciate suggestions, but why would I possibly use SQL if I had the choice to use literally anything else. I play by other people's rules and on their deadlines.10 -
Hey DevRant Fam!, i hope everyone is doing very well today! :D so recently i have had this thought in my mind and i'm not so sure what to think.... i've been coding in c# for awhile now and i absolutely love love it!.
though i have no job experience yet and i truly cannot wait till i get into an internship position and hopefully land a full-time position!, though, my memory isn't the best in terms of anything, i generally have to (not all the time) look up documentation on Microsoft's website for c#, try and read and understand code examples etc, Would you feel that's like not a good sign or..... im curious to know what you guys think!. just so you know i never copy/paste any code! i try do everything myself :-)
Again thank you very much for reading this! and i do apologise if it is too long!, i hope you guys/gals are having a wonderful day/night wherever you may be! <3
Best
Milo8 -
I was too concerned whether or not I should extend a feature, that I forgot to check if I could do so.
Now I've shot myself in the foot by breaking half of the feature and my only solution to make this work out as intented are quite ugly.
10/10 would do so again. Programming like a retard is the way hobby projects are meant to be. Best learning experience you could hope for.
Also, bless git for giving me a second chance in case I've gone full retard mode.4 -
"=$B1*INDEX(A:A,ROW())"
See this absolute bullshit right here?
This fucking cunt of a problem designed by some dippity-do finger-painting fucking jackass at google doesn't work why?
Because for some *god damn reason* they decided it would be a good idea to setup it up in a way that when you use absolute cell references in a formula, you can't use functions in the formula too. No the other side has to be a literal or cell reference apparently.
Motherfuckers.3 -
a friend of mine has applied at a company who have sent them this task* to complete before the job interview.
They gave about 10 days to complete this.
*I rewrote it
Personally I think this is super overblown and way too much to complete as a test before the first interview.
They expect the applicant to configure an SQL database, a backend with a custom API and a UI.
It's like a fullstack prototype software, not a task.
Im not in web development and I wouldn't feel confident learning these technologies in my free time in just a few days.
I said that this felt like some HR manager writing up the test or that they want the applicant to create a prototype for free.
Am I being too extreme here? To me it feels overkill, what do you all think? Is this common?
Oh and I should mention, this is for an internship position for a bachelors student.21 -
Today I’ve done nothing related to software development or coding.
You can do it too!
This will be my LinkedIn post, of course with a selfie in gym gear✌🏻
If you see my post scrolling, come on bring them thousands of likes😬6 -
PSA: If you do reverse proxying stuff, prefer unix domain sockets over localhost internet sockets, if it's on the same machine (and if it's forwarded over ssh too). You can even serve HTTP as a unix socket.
Unix domain sockets don't have the overhead of IP, so generally speaking, data will flow to your other process with much less overhead.
I've recently stopped being lazy at this, and it's worth it.3 -
Every time I read someone reply to a post with "lol" I stop for a moment and imagine myself actually laughing out loud to that post. I've got to say, only under ~1% of such posts were actually worth lol'ing. Other times laughing out loud to whatever is there would be retarded at best.
So either I'm a bum with only notions of a sense of humour OR there are far too many retards laughing out loud to basically anything.
Or perhaps there are too many idiots who use 'lol' without knowing what it means.
Or those people so desperately want others' attention that they lie to others pretending to like what they say/do/write by saying "what you did there made me feel so good that I burst in loud laughter".
This is stupid.
If you don't laugh OUT LOUD - then don't say that you do.
If you are not in immediate danger threatening to your life - then don't say you are LITERALLY DYING.
FFS, is it THAT hard?26 -
I just love customers:
Customer: "ftps doesnt work! It says Port blocked you are using the wrong port! Fix this now!"
Me: "did you open the port and allow it through the firewall?"
C: " yeah ofc i opened the ports on the server! Do you think i'm stupid?"
M: "On the client too?"
C: "...."
C: " let me call back in 30min" -
Team lead: guys, we need to brainstorm on feature X. We can have this service do blah blah..., have a cache at blah blah...
Me: I think it's too complicated. We can simplify the design by doing blah blah... and measure the performance as we go, let's not do premature optimization.
Team lead: no, we definitely need this. We'll pitch this to the CTO later
*Later when we meet the CTO*
Team lead: Hi Mr CTO, about feature X, we're gonna do this blah blah... what do you think?
CTO: *basically repeats what I said*
Team lead: Thank you for the insights, really helpful. We will do as you suggest.
WHAT THE FUCK?3 -
The more I learn frontend the more I like it. Imagine, actually becoming good at something makes you hate it less! I know, I know, I was shocked too.
Completely unrelated question:
if you have all the mods for the factors of a product, is it possible to derive the factors from the modulus?
(lol you know what this is about).
The product "fingerprinting" I talked about a while back is starting to allow me to find the modulus of factors, and I want to know what I can do with that if anything.3 -
Hating small talk is what most tech guys would do. What's the point in indulging in it when you can not talk?
But there are times when you're cornered and can't do much about it. I figured out a way in which i can use this, still.
So whenever pushed into small talk i tend to tilt the conversation in the direction of the current problem I'm working on. I would then use the other guy as a sounding board to talk out the problem aloud. Helps me in clarifying my own thought. Also if i haven't already bored the other guy to death and the guy seems genuinely interested, i get a few pointers too.3 -
When a client said, ofc you can add this feature all you have to do is to press two buttons!! Oh really??? Come and press them your self if it's too easy for you and I will pay you!!! You little piece of shit!!!!
-
Hello there I am back again.
I deleted my account (doh) because I was in a moment where I wanted to eliminate all my accounts and sadly I removed this one too.
So I lost all my points..
By the way I am here again eady for listening new rants.
PS: For the admins even if my devrant profile is deleted google still tracks my old rants.. Can you do something about it?12 -
I take a look on Dart, which used by Flutter, a "React Native inspired" framework.
Very similar to Typescript and Java, so whatever you write, probably gonna work.
But I feel lack confidence on any language Google promoted. Eg kotlin and Go
🤦♂️
Google hired too many PhDs who have nothing to do, so they spend 1 day per week draw some doodles...
Hope this is not another weekend warrior project.🙄9 -
- have/share an agenda as soon as possible
- each talking point should identify a problem. Make a list of strategic questions answers to which would make it perfectly clear what and by whom has to be done to resolve them.
- plan meeting duration according to the list of questions. Make sure you meeting room reservation gives you enough time
- take notes
- be prepared for a need for another meeting(s), if during that meeting it comes clear that:
> more/other people need to be engaged
> some things are not clear and need more investigation before going further
> you have run out of time
> there are other problems tgat need to be worked out and it might cobsume too much time to do this in a current meeting
- do not turn the meeting into a chat. It's counter-productive, tiring to the listeners and a waste of time
- do not try to cover many topics. The less, the better. Unless they are very tightly coupled.
- do not invite people you do not need or there is a very slim chance you will need.
- only schedule meetings when the situation needs to be DISCUSSED among multiple parties
- that being said, do not schedule meetings when it's more convenient to communicate otherwise, like email, chat, etc.
- after the meeting make a summary and send it our to all the participants. They might reply and clarify if you have misunderstood smth or missed some important point.
- during the meeting assign tasks to each other. Verbally. Make notes. After the meeting reflect them in jira, rally, wtv.
- while assigning tasks nake sure the assignees have no blockers to work on them and make sure they understand what, when and how should be done. Some tasks might be dependedt on each other, work the sequence out.
- while assigning tasks ask "for ETAs. They might be as silly as 1-hour-to-2-weeks, but they still let you know what to expect.
- offer your assistance to the task assignees if they need any while working on their tasks
- work on your language, grammar, syntax, etc. Reading texts with typos/mistakes is repelling
- be a leader, an authority everyone is looking up to. Not a boss.
- avoid saying NOs. Be more of a "do we really need this; can we do this some other way/time; I can't promise anythibg but I'll see what I can do about it" kind of person. -
Client Of The Day : Hi, I would like to have a website. I went to an agency but are too expensive for me. Can you do me this website for less than €150 ($170) ?
Me : -_-
So, question. What is your minimum for a freelance assignment ?5 -
Hey you were not here yesterday so we assigned you to do this job that requires this training and is really fun and good for your experience
Says the coworker that was supposed to do it but does not want to do it because he thinks the work takes too much time and doesn't think the training is usefull.
Sorry what???1 -
I can't come to terms with people's terrible reasonings.
You read a news about something. Let's assume it has to do with a sensitive topic, like race, gender, culture, religion, something polarizing, that makes you pick 1 of 2 sides.
So what do some people do? They ask themselves "ok what group do I adhere? How do I label myself?".
Then they ask "what do other people in said group/label think about the matter?", sometimes it's people in the media, friends,
sometimes people even create a mental construct of a stereotypical person of said group, a hypothetical one, and use the opinion of said construct as representative.
And final step is a knee jerk reaction of "I believe that too!!!!!!".
Obviously, all of this can't bring no one closer to the theorical truth or the least flawed conclusion.
What does? Case by case basis.
You judge every case as if every case was its own thing.
But why does some people have a hard time doing that? Just general ignorance maybe?
Maybe this tends to occur in families where parents don't teach their kids to challenge their beliefs, or teach them that doing so could result in lack of parental acceptance.
People also have peer pressure, the need to belong and feel accepted. That means sharing the same points of view with close people and considering the opposite taboo.
There's also the very ignorant people that have conspiracies for lunch.
In any case, I feel some people don't even fucking try to be neutral.4 -
If employers see my devRant profile, I hope they don’t think too hard about this rant: https://devrant.io/rants/705145/...
-
So my team got this new clueless "Delivery manager" who doesn't know ANYTHING ABOUT AGILE!
Her favourite timepass ? To eat development team's time asking stupid questions just to make her presence felt. And she does that by visiting each developer personally. MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY !
Why can't you leave the team and let them do some actual work??😑
She would join our scrum meetings to ask questions like "what are story points again?", "How do we calculate team velocity?"
Dear miss Clueless: It's not cool to be dumb! It's cool to take up an online agile crash course if you insist to contribute.
The other day, she suggested a QA guy to "test properly" with a smirk!
I mean seriously ? Was that actually necessary to tell them? This team was working just perfect without you. How about you look before you leap?
I try being nice to her but at times it's just too much to take. -
My partner just told me that the guys that will "take care" of a project that we developed (see this rant https://www.devrant.io/rants/69328) apparently don't know anything about Android or iOS because our ex-client emailed him asking some questions on behalf of the new team like what is Swift and on what language do you develop for Android.
What bothers me more is that apparently we are too expensive but they are planning to get rich 😒 -
* yes, I have seen the new iPhone
* no, I'm still happy with my current one
* actually I think lots of high-end Android phones are very good too
* will you please stop talking about the sodding headphone jack you're driving me insane please stop please oh god it's happening again I did warn you but you didn't listen you wouldn't stop and now look what you made me do this is all your fault they'll never take me alive1 -
rant
When you come 1000kms away from office to home.. and promise to do WFH and the wifi at home is slow...
Killing me!!
Too many backlogs this sprint... -
Lots of hate towards Microsoft, and they go and do something like this:
https://blogs.msdn.microsoft.com/do...
I'm excited for these features. With existing .NET Core you can compile console apps natively to Windows/MacOS/Linux. WPF and WinForms soon making it to .NET Core will bring the ability to compile native GUI apps too.
Oh, and .NET Core is all open source. It's a beautiful, beautiful thing.6 -
Sooo, turns out, management and senior PMs, technical PMs, service managers and you name it forgot an entire system.
A complete eco-system of applications, queues, services, load-balancers, deploy pipelines, databases, monitoring solutions, etc, etc, that if not handled correctly could effectively put the entire production line to a standstill.
So, waaay too late they make this discovery. In their ignorance. Just utter incompetence. Huge project. Millions of $. And they forget it. Months of meetings probably. Workshops and gettogethers at cozy hotel complex discussing ”the project”? And they do not understand some of the fundamental building blocks…
Basic engineering for these guys must mean something completely different.
I can’t even.
I am so fed up with this organization. It does not stop either.
How is this possible…
Do they even have half a brain? -
Can We Mark Up This?
I've see this interface and i though this can be seen better with a Mark Up language, like HTML.
So i will send a message about this to improve this app. If You want, do It too.
Sorry, my english isn't very good. Ir You understand my work is made.
And yes, i am a web designer :)2 -
Large majority of rants is about incompetent project managers.
No matter where you live the problem stays the same. Most of them have no clue how software is being made and how dev/qa work looks like.
I frankly do not understand this phenomena. I have friends in automotive/constructions industry and theirs managers are engineers too in that field. Why it can't be the same in software development?5 -
I could use some advice. Immagine this: you recently started a new job where the people are great, the product is pretty cool and pay is good. But the code you have to work with is the biggest pile of shite you've ever seen and your manager does not want to change any of this, even after you suggest you would build something that would be a thousand times better, not only "code wise" but for the users too. What would you do?9
-
Video conferencing apps:
Competition is great. It just sucks when you have to use all the competition.
Things I want to be able to do:
- Test Mic and Audio before joining the call, BOTH DAMN IT (some do do this, some just one or the other).
- No fiddling in settings to do test / change settings. I want to know / test every damn time before I join ...
- and it would be great if it forced everyone to test too ;) (obviously some complications there if folks are joining and don't intend to talk)
Things I to see all the time on the app, don't hide this shit, and GOD DAMN IT DON'T AUTO HIDE IT:
- Is my mic muted or not.
- Is my mic broadcasting sound or not.
I've been lucky enough to not have any terrible dork ups using these apps but man they seem to invite it by hiding stuff.3 -
Do you just click the mouse wheel to close a tab even though it's a pain on your finger? I don't know where I got this habit from. I'm too lazy to point the cursor to the X button.6
-
"I think.."
It doesn't matter what you think you fucking moron. The bottom line here is that you forgot to add a master table for this and you are asking to create a master table from me when I have no fucking records, YOU THINK you need it today but deep down you too know that is fucking impossible to do.
"Only some code modification"
No shit Sherlock, yes indeed only some code modification is required, and I did, the only problem is that you are not having that required field's data.
fuck you, you fat useless piece of shit3 -
So many of the idiots at my school, when they grow up, want to do "something with computers". Wha? The concept of what you even do with a computer is so widely screwed up that kids think that is specific enough to plan their futures on. I suggest they actually learn minute enough of their future career to know what really they want to do, but I guess this would be too logical?4
-
"Do you know WordPress?"
"I've used it... Haven't done much WordPress development"
"Sweet. How'd you like a job?"
This seems too easy...4 -
My dad needs my help with an excel sheet and calls me "Hey, need your help to do X, but this computer doesn't allow me to do, how can i do it?"
Me, who has already used skype, teamviewer and (Wahtsapp) video call several times (him too!) and got things done faster this way:"let's do a video call (whatsapp) so you can show me and i can help you better" (my dad thinks teamviewer is too complicated to use)
my dad "oh come on please, i don't have time for this, let's do it this way!"
After i tried to explain him that it would take far more time on the phone, needing him to explain what he sees, telling him the advantages of a video call right now, he ended like "ok forget about it!"
as he said that i kinda fell in a rage, quit the call myself and almost threw the phone against smth.
Seriously how hard can it be??? it's just few phone taps away😥, i would have even proposed to video call him myself to make things easier for him! But he prefers the classical-phone-way which every time takes half an hour just to understand where he's at.
It's just frustrating every time...2 -
The moment you realize you've spent years in a technology where the "IDE":
- isn't too good at finding references, unless the project is tiny
- is not capable to do any sort of refactoring (or at least you shouldn't trust it due to the point above)
- doesn't let you connect to any version control
- doesn't allow to CTRL+Z or any equivalent
- I won't even mention templates or dark theme
Guess the name. Feel free to tell me how utterly stupid this is so maybe I'll finally work on changing my path before it's too late.13 -
This is for people looking to switch to Linux but on the fence due to game support.
If you have a steam account, you can go to http://steam.bravehost.com and our in your public profile ID, and it'll tell you all the games in your library that support Linux.
For games you want to buy in the future, check http://www.steamdb.info/linux. I know the steam store lists by Linux too, but IMO it is too slow and visually noisy to see what you want.
Deus Ex Mankind Divided surprisingly works on Linux from what I see and so do other games I actually play, so I will likely take the plunge sooner than I thought!9 -
When you wake up with a tension headache, you take something for it, everything is fine, the moment you sit in front of your desk, it comes right back with this horrible lack of empathy and care topped with the lovely lethargic feeling of burnout.. Yay me. I know what I have to do, I just really wish I could get a bit of slack once in a while.... - Packs shit to take to shit museum- psh maybe my internal error handling for slackoverflow is just too good 🤣
-
I'm used to use Facebook from browser, but recently it doesn't work and 9 times out of 10 it has random bugs, doesn't load newsfeed, doesn't load images and so on. Today I needed to sell an object and it didn't work, so I installed Facebook Lite just for this. And guess? It doesn't work too! The groups are buggy in the app, once you enter in the subscription page, it doesn't let you do any action and doesn't let you go back.
So that's the top website in the world, isn't it? -
everytime i see posts of code humor of doing ordinary things (for example while hungry eat) i wished i was dead.
they are too lazy and beginner. and they exist because the internet gives everyone some chance of exposure.
while this may seem like a positive and democratic thing, it results in too much low quality and everyone's standards getting lowered.
i don't mind people telling bad jokes to friends and family, because at least then even though sometimes people laugh, a frown will surely happen.
while in the internet, you don't get that reaction. In fact, the shittier the thing you post, the more points you get!
this is my version expressing how i feel about the matter:
while !is_dead()
eat_excrement_from(corpse)
bile_and_shit = vomit()
eat(bile_and_shit)
while it is true that most things online are garbage, that also means that some isn't.
for example, code-poetry.com has very clever code poems that actually does run and has some interesting STDOUT. and those do are worthwhile.
let me also do a preemptive comment to the first fucking idiot that posts a "you must be fun at parties". fuck parties and fuck you too.1 -
So you're telling me that I can rant about my coding experience here and get stuff for that too.
I mean where has this been my whole coding life😂
P.S. If you do like it please rant on it😊6 -
Who the fick asks for BPMN diagrams, Disaster Recovery diagrams and Business Continuity Plan for a SaaS product that is deployed in cloud (Azure) ??
This is a simple app/dashboard that just showcases some data in fancy charts. It shows the data YOU feed. Why do you need BPMN diagram? What am I supposed to put? "Client loads data" and "user sees data"?
I already linked Azure's page on DR. Do yiu want me to copy-paste the contents from that link?
Clients are too much PITA!!!1 -
Project Manager : this code line from here to here is confusing. Before you explain it to me i will need a cup of coffee. Do you want for yourself too?
Me : (*In my head* my mind work pretty clear without it as well.) Yes sir.1 -
yo imagine if the most common and best toolchain for, say, Intel PCs was "mid-source": You can have the buildscripts, and a few extra seldom-useful bits, but nothing else.
Welcome to devkitPro: it's too hard to maintain a toolchain package for all the systems you develop on, so we'll maintain a modded copy of pacman you HAVE to use to get the only toolchain for Nintendo consoles for all systems. Oh, and it's not normal pacman, no, it's hardcoded to only be used for their shit.
Even on Windows.
why do they do this to us again?16 -
!dev
Today, on the Hypocrite show we have a bunch of hypocrit wankers talking meta. For example, this just in, a bunch of talkative wanker classmates, all gorls (yes, this is not a typo (yes it's for sarcastic goal (yes read it in Gru's voice (no I don't do Lisp stop asking)))), start talking about how they don't like their lower-graders talking too much they, the previously mentioned "gorls", are around and would prefer them to shut up and let enjoy their "peace and quiet". Oh I don't know, you wankers wants my 2-page 11px complain on you talking too much in class and everywhere you go?6 -
Client: How many days do you need for this project
Me: 6 months
Client: That's too much. I researched and found that it shouldn't consume more than 3 months
Me: I'm sure you didn't researched on gradle building process (-_-) -
I used to work for a consultancy that specialised in a very niche area (I won't say what – this is traceable enough already!). We charged our clients a very high hourly rate, because demand and supply. All the time I'd get calls like the following:
"Please could you just make this small change to the deployment?"
"Yes, of course. You don't have any contract hours left, so I'll just forward you to our billing department so you can sort out the payment first"
"Ah okay, please can you tell us how to do it"
[Even if I explained it, you wouldn't be able to do it – that's why you're coming to us.]
"...or better yet, just do it as a quick fix outside of work?"
[So... work for no pay? No thanks.]
While my company always had my back on these requests (obviously, they wanted payment too), they were so frequent that I got sick of it.1 -
A dedicated team has built an "infrastructure" for creating UI for c++ developers in the company. What looks like a poor attempt at recreating what Microsoft did with XAML at first glance, it actually is a horrible exercise in force feeding people the stinking pile of shit that their code is.
The idea is to make it easy to create UI for developers who aren't used to front end development. They should just need to declare the layout. Very noble.
But.
If you want to do anything more than show a checkbox or a radio button, if you dare to define relationships between the UI controls or worse, if you get ambitious with creating a simple UI that uses a lot of similar controls and similar relationships with dynamic content... be prepared to eat your own barf from eating too much of their shit.
Not only do you now need to write front end code (including JS among others), you need to do it with limited or poor support and you have to make sure that it sits well with the house of moist, crumbly cards the team proudly created. Or resort to some very stupid and performance costing "bypasses" that further cripple your application code. Usually you have to do both of these things.
To think that scores of other teams have welcomed this amazing enhancement with full support without any resistance. It's sickening.
I waste too much of energy (and good jokes!) with these people.rant poor infra complicated as fuck punch holed abstractions we do what we want brain farts materialized in code no brains needed4 -
I just had the idea for a social network which would care about privacy, don't sell the data of its users and stuff. This would mean the users had to pay for it to keep the lights on, like 1 oder 2 bucks a month.
Do you think this could work? I'm not sure, I think there might already be too much competition in that field.9 -
Why do so many people worry about their competences to perform the tasks they get?
You are hired to do the kind of work that gets assigned to you and not to worry if you are qualified to do it. Unless you are in a shitty* company this is someone else’s job to worry. I see people doing this to themselves and frequently have to let them show the value of their work. Many times before they understand what I see in their contributions.
Stress is fine, it will help you get further. But only to a certain point. If you don’t have faith in your capabilities, have faith in the management team...
* if you are in a shitty company, you should adjust your priorities. Do not worry too much, learn as much as you can and seek other options.2 -
What Linux distro(es) do you approve of?
Posted this on a discord server, thought you guys might have an opinion too
https://www.strawpoll.me/157631464 -
!dev
Some on here are very open about having addictions or using external things 'to keep going', be better or whatever else reason. I do too myself. (please don't get butthurt)
What do you think about weed & dev instead of - or even with - alcohol & dev?
BTW, I just noticed this (2 hours ago! I didn't know there are limits, which seems like a good idea..). I deem it obligatory to share. It's also the reason I'm asking 😁10 -
Control your searches like an ADULT damn it!!!
So we have records that can have any of a bazillion different reference numbers associated with them. No big deal. Everyone does right?
Our customer's love to run reports and so we have this one option for "just look at a hell of a lot of reference numbers". I call it the 'fuck all' search.
Really it is just there to find something that you don't know where a rando string or number might be in the record and just want to do a "fuck all" search across a number of likely fields to find it... and then presumably you'd be an adult and refine your search from there. LOL yeah right...
Customers get lazy and include that stupid option in their reports and we get a lot of.
Customer: "I always run this report (that includes the fuck all search) and now it isn't working. I want records that have ID 2222."
Me: "Yeah well that was only working because you were rando typing '2222' in like several fields and it would find those .... but now you quit doing that so it won't find them. If you want ID 2222, click the drop down and search by 'ID'. That will find it right away."
Customer: "But I want to just search by 'fuck all search' to find it..."
Me: "But then you get all these other records too right?"
Customer: "Yeah but I just delete them out of the spreadsheet ... "
Me: "Look watch this <screen share> there, look all records with an ID of 2222 and no more extra records you need to delete!!! How great is that?"
Customer: "But why do I have to do it this way now, I want to do it the old way..."
ಠ_ಠ
(granted I could add their ID to the fuck all search but we try to avoid adding too much because it gets out of hand / stops being useful the more fuck all it gets)3 -
"This Microsoft technical support, you have many virus on computer."
If only you could npm install pluralize on a human being, scammers would probably be too lazy to do it anyway.2 -
That's gonna be a quick rant about Golang.
Anyone else here frustrated by the fact that you can inline assignment in the if statement, but can't inline the if-else itself?
You can do:
if thing := hey.getThatThing(); thing == theThing {
return 'this'
} else {
return 'that'
}
But can't do:
return 'this' if hey.getTheThing() == theThing else 'that'
Or is it just me using too much Python everyday and connecting that with Go in free time?5 -
So I'm on PTO for a week, and there is some feature for which I gave the estimations to the other team. That team thinks that eastimates are high and I'm getting pinged to think about it.
First of all they did the overriding of some feature which was required by our team without our knowledge and now when we got know what they did, they are asking us to do the work. I have an estimate and yes they are higher than expected because this feature is on their systems and I don't have complete understanding of it. This is ridiculous though but still I think that I'm wrong somewhere but I know this work is not easy for me, that's why estimations are high.
I'm on leave, I'm not supposed to be working anyway even if it's a small clarification.
Adding more here, that guy tagged another person from my team to do the work as I'm on leave. This guy did some work before too. But this is insane. HOW THE FUCK YOU EXPECT US TO DO IT FOR YOU!! YOU FUCKED IT UP!!!
I feel scared, what if the other guy can actually do the work, people will think I'm just stupid.:(((8 -
I kinda hate brand bias, when people don't have an open mind when judging new products.
some people are ready, up late, waiting for next apple keynote just so they have stuff to rip off.
"animoji is so pointless"
then don't use it buddy :)
"apple tracks you"
https://maps.google.com/locationhis...
"apple product limits you, google products allow you to do a lot more"
- apple iphone:
· download apps
· surf the web
· make calls and send texts
· do things offline
· use the native devRant app
pixelbook/chromeos:
· browse the fucking web
· there's a fucking 'write protect' screw in the motherboard so you can't fuck anything up
(yes I know, generally android is more customizable, but you'd expect more from a laptop over a computer)
I'm not an apple fanboy, I could make this rant about android hate, too, but because a product isn't for you doesn't mean it's not for everyone.6 -
Seriously, wtf give the work to someone else, claiming that "I'm too busy to do this", when all that other person does is come asking you for help, and not only do you have to figure out what needs to be done, you need to figure out how the other person fucked it up and try to fix it without hurting any feelings. Oh, and, yes, I was too busy for doing what is essentially double work.
-
Customer: You don't seem very comfortable with this; maybe you could pass it on to another engineer..?
Situation:
I'm a System Management team engineer. Customer is asking about licensing (which is a different team) and has that very rude habit of asking a question, doing a small pause in which I start answering, and then speaking again and cutting me off; thus causing me to seem very splutter-y. Since I couldn't give a definitive answer to his licensing question he doubts everything and thinks I can't do crap. And he's the one who wants me to sit on an upgrade with him because he's too afraid to follow documentation.
His words to me: "Have you ever done this upgrade before; I mean are you familiar with it?"
Me: "Nope since it's not policy to sit on upgrades as we are a break-fix center but I've directed other customers to do it through the documentation I've given you and they got on fine."
Seriously doubt the capacity of some of these guys to do an upgrade where there's step-by-step videos and very legit documentation (never mind this upgrade uses the tool which has the best record for not breaking)4 -
Yesterday I asked a question on stack overflow about what algorithm I should use in order to parse command line strings like in gnu getopt for example.. And I've got downvoted for no GOOD FUCKING REASON. On top of that, my question is on hold. WTF?! For some time now stack overflow is becoming more and more a community of fucking cunts, arse-holes and toxic people.
Title:
" What parser algorithm is best suited for command line parsing? [on hold] "
My question:
"I want to write my own command line library from scratch. What algorithm should I use in order to parse gnu style args like in getopt for example ? I mean what's the best way other than tokenizing and parse them in a naive way? Should I try to look at LR, LL algorithms or this is way too overkill?"
Their response:
"Your question sounds like "I want to do X. What's the best way to do it?". Too broad, you need to be more specific about what problem you're having. (And keep your question clean. No meta-stuff in there.)"
I mean, what more context-specific reason should I add you dense motherfucker!? I want an algorithm to parse your momma's cunt so hard 'till it blows the fuck up. This what you want? You fucking senseless piece of garbage. God, give me a car to run over their fucking internet cable and over their head, too.8 -
"Can you make this quick change?"
"Yeah, but I'll need to change every page this thing is on and you told me this other project I'm working on is high-priority. Are you sure you want me to do this?" (Also this is a change you're capable of making yourself...)
"It shouldn't take too long, we need this done."
...if I thought it wouldn't take long, I wouldn't have brought it up. -
I'm so confused by our architecture and development process in general
We planned what features are to be implemented (e.g. what endpoints should do what), but there are parts of tasks which depend on others, and I'm not sure what classes to build or when to start a task given that related ones are being done by other developers, I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing
I could maybe do all of this alone my way if it was just me, but when I ask in planning about how we should go about implementing shit together, I just get backlash from this senior developer telling me we shouldn't waste time discussing implementation details in planning
Like, what the fuck do you want me to fucking do, just implement all the dependencies of what I'm doing from zero, without reusing any of the code other devs are doing that touches on the same parts?
Fucking hell, man, this is the third sprint where I'm confused like this
Maybe I'm just too dumb to be a developer after all lol6 -
Hey :)
what tools do you use to design your software architecture?
at the moment I am confronted with a mix of word, one note, draw.io, visio and balsamiq.
I have the feeling that this is a bit off because it's too many tools so I just wanted to ask.13 -
Changing jobs. I found something different, with new challenges. My current job still challenges me, but I feel it's constantly similar stuff, just in different flavors.
My current company is asking me to stay longer than for my 3-month notice. They say it's too rapid and I should have told them earlier that I'm looking for a new job. Is it even true? Do people do this?
Should I stay? I really like the guys and I don't want to put them in a difficult situation but at the same time the argument about my decision being too rapid seems weak. Our team is over 30 people, it won't suffer THAT much. They will probably offer me a higher salary, but going against my feeling just for the money seems... kinda wrong. What do you think?8 -
Hi C# guys out or everyone else too,
I found this in an StackOverflow answer: https://docs.google.com/document/d/...
What do you think?16 -
!dev
Why the FUCK do bank waiting lines have to be so fucking long? And why do these old cunts have to spend 30+ minutes in the booth each? If this goes on, I'll have to wait in line for THREE FUCKING HOURS just to raise my fucking daily transaction limit! And all I fucking wanted was to order the parts for my new goddamn rig! If you have too many cocking clients to handle, hire an extra worker or five!2 -
This is a rant.
Sorry rant community...I haven't had so much time lately. Too much work to do, and you reminded me that it's passed quite a lot of time from the last login. And for you I meant the rant community developers!
I will be here more often in the future!1 -
A friend asked me to set up a system that allows them to see their desktop on their tv and use a remote to wirelessly control it.
Fine, so I set up a system that allows them to interact with their desktop on tv wirelessly with their phone. Once the desktop booted, all they have to do is click one single button to open the thing they need.
Guess what? They come tell me: "This is too much work". What, clicking on a single button is too much work? Now you want it to auto-load too? Right, so apparently this is better: when the users plomps their @#!* on the couch, the OS has to be already booted, the desktop has to be ready and the desired functionality has to be launched. How lazy can you be?
Users can be so lazy.. and I thought I was lazy for not wanting to debug Python to webscrape a website that asked for cookies.2 -
How do you know ML and AI has gone too far? You rely on the algorithm instead of the obvious.
Google will translate comments, etc. At times when you click on an English video to language around your location. This is so obvious, if I didn't understand English if would not have clicked on the video!!
#BringBackThePreMLdevs -
So, my university has a mandatory community service program where basically students are sent to help developing infrastructure and society in undeveloped parts of the country. I and my team are going to depart in the end of this month.
We're going to help raising IT-literacy level by teaching high school students basic programming with Scratch or Python. Is that too much? Should we just start with teaching Ms. Office instead? Or do you guys have any opinion?4 -
Guys, this is not a rant. But I need a career advice. I don’t have a BD in CS, but I studied by myself and took some other classes and was working in the field for more than an year now after graduating from university. I do full stack developing with javascript and sometimes java at a startup now.
My goal was to eventually get to grad school in CS. I found some programs what accept students from non CS back grounds too. I can’t do BD again it will take too long. And I’m old ! lol
If any of you had similar experiences, or know some good programs would you let me know? Should I prepare portfolio or should I accomplish something great in order to get accepted? Or should I just try applying first? I’m focusing more on east coast to choose schools from but open to anything for now.
It’s quite scary to really start working on this since I already have a job and there are so much information regarding grad school, I get overwhelmed. Though it’s something i need to overcome. It would be really helpful for me if you could share your two cents.
I love what I do now, and really hope that I get to study further and explore in depth. Also I’m interested in AI or machine learning. Also if you know good source for reading recently published papers on CS let me know!
Thanks for reading! :)10 -
Designers/BA: “just presenting my initial drafts to get the team approval here is this this and this”
Me: “oh I see something here that would probably not be good to do, can we change?”
Them: “Well it’s already too late in the process to change stuff around like this”
What then is the fucking point of making an “approval meeting” you lazy pieces of shit?!?8 -
Ive had it with this job. It it right now the most unthankful job ive had.
There is no thank you, no good morning or evening. No hey how are ya?
All that matters is the 10 deadlines we NEED finished still in 2023. There is too much to do and no time or guidance.
How are we gonna fix this if i keep screwing up everything i touch. How can i do my work if NOTHING is ever good enough in the eyes of colleagues or clients. Im well on my way to burnout and/or depression.
Happy holidays y’all! -
Be honest. Given that you're not in crunch mode. Do you actually work 8 hours every day?
I have had some days but usually it's impossible for me to do actual work as a developer for 8 full hours, 5 times a week.
I feel that (without meetings), my ideal schedule for days of normal workload would be 5 hours a day. I'm strictly speaking about focused work, actual programming. Meetings don't usually rack up more than 2-3 hours per week for me.
I do my best to be in the office during the expected hours but I can't help but feel that everything about my engagement, focus and contribution at work would be better if I could just stroll in around 10, well rested, do some actual work, take a short lunch break, go at it again and go home around 15:30...
Because I feel like this I quickly get judgemental about myself if I come in at 9 and leave around 16:30 too often during a work week.
What are your thoughts on this subject?3 -
Well I tried to start an startup a year ago but we had some troubles, but this week a friend of mine who is the guy that I share my idea to create the startup. We met and we are ready to work on that again. Wish me luck guys and if you are starting a startup, too. Good luck 😎 you can do it5
-
I'm reading "A class-based reflective minimal kernel"
https://books.pharo.org/booklet-Ref...
... do you ever get the feeling like you understand something perfectly and don't really understand it, at the same time? what does it mean?
i can even rougly imagine how this would be implemented on assembly level, but it still feels like... i don't know. it seems too straightforward and simple, i guess, so i suspect i'm not understanding it properly, since it can't be that simple...?8 -
To all who use CSS:
Do you vertically align using flexbox or some weird old hacky method? I just used flexbox throughout a personal project to find out it doesn't work on my mom's computer...
Sorry if this question is too serious for this, but it really bothers me :D12 -
SO's accepted answers being "no dont do what you want to do, use this corporate™-certified library instead, we ALLLLL use it too"
Like bitch if I wanna kill myself with a knife, tell me which vein to cut, dont recommend me a gun, I dont want it. ffs.9 -
!dev
when one of your best domains were taken for a long time and you didn't considered about buying or hijacking it or even thought about what you would even do with it because its taken anyway and you are not an asshole. But then out of nowhere you get an offer to get this domain. and you start thinking... what cool project you could do with it and what it may becomes - and what if your project fails and you wasted a great domainname... but ofcurse you stuggle for too long and the old owner bought it already back again, like he just forgot to renew it and didnt even cared about it that much.
congratulations. you now cant stop thinking about this cool project and what it could may be. instead you see someone else wasting it...
as if dev life is not depressing enough. back to localhost :( -
So, I made this: https://github.com/PythonTryHard/...
Aside from the JS code that may trigger the JS devs, I think I did good. Maybe a bit too overboard with the comments.
What do you think guys?2 -
Java apparently thinks it would be too convenient if we would use comparison operators on enumerations.
If you have to use the .ordinal() every time you want to do such a thing, you make the code uglier that you're trying to clean up to begin with!
Time to do this the hard way:
public static final int YELLING = 0;
public static final int SCREAMING = 1;
...1 -
Hello,
I have a job interview tomorrow, and it appears to be a great opportunity. Could you guys suggest some questions I could ask the interviewer about the company, and some questions I should ask about the job too?
I was thinking about asking about the corporate culture, and about the company's vision.
But apart from thr company, I would love to know about the job too. I have always ever been employed as a contractor and freelancer. So I nevrr really had to do kuch in interviews, but I'd love some help as this would be my first ever interview.7 -
What do you guys think of forced linters (checkStyle) on java assignments?
At this University we have a submission system that checks for your code where if a line didn't match the coding specification then it's an instant zero.
Being experienced in programming before going to a university, this somewhat surprised me, it also has unit tests implemented in it where it checks against input and output.
Would love to hear your thoughts on this. Is it too much for people who unlike me never seen code before? Or let them have hell and understand how to deal with it? I personally think it's too much for beginners.3 -
Do you have days where you are stuck on something and you tell yourself: "Damn it, I will figure this out today!"?
Yeah, I hate obscure problems too.6 -
Search for How to stop Apple ID Verification pop up. Find relevant and possibly credible result from discussions.apple.com:
How do I stop the constant pop up on my iPad for APPLE ID VERIFICATION, posted in 2016.
Last post from OP: Did you ever find a solution to this problem? This Apple ID Verification request is driving me crazy.
83 Users: Me too.
Apple:
Looks like no one’s replied in a while. To start the conversation again, simply ask a new question.1 -
Why do you lil' shits keep making LAYERS and LAYERS of unnecessary abstraction and then call it goddamn progress???
Dude what the fuck is this UEFI shit?!
Why the hell do I NEED to import a frigging library and read tons of boring and overly complicated documentation just so I can paint a pixel on the screen now uh??
Alright alright yeah so the BIOS is a little basic but daaaamit son if you want something a bit more complicated you make it yourself or install an OS that provides it! Like we've been doing it for years!!!
Dude, you don't get to know what a file system is until I tell you!
The PC be like:
"You wanna dereference the 0x0 pointer? There you go: it's 0xE9DF41, anything else?
You wanna write to the screen? Ok I have a perfectly convinient interrupt setup for that.
Wanna paint a pixel yellow? Ok, just call this other interruption. Theere we go.
And it only took four bytes and a nanosecond to do it."
That shit works, and if you want something more complex, but not too much, that still runs efficiently install DOS.
Don't mess around with the hardware pleeease.
We can still understand what's going on down there. Once UEFI steps in, it'll be like sealing a door forever. Long live BIOS damn it all!1 -
Le Angular programmer
Me: I need to add all these fields across this 30 page (seriously) questionnaire to the dataLayer for Google Analytics...I'll see if I can loop over all the controls and get the native element so that I can do things with it.
Also me: WTF do you mean I don't have access to the native element? Damn it! What does Google say?
**terrible french accent**
A few moments later
**end terrible french accent**
Me: I don't want to have to create a directive to put on every single one of these fields. That's dumb. Not gonna do it...bad vanilla JavaScript?
**terrible french accent**
Several minutes later
**end terrible french accent**
Me: Wait...if we use this directive then the directive can handle all the things AND we can use it outside of this questionnaire. The rest of the app can send this data so that Google Analytics can know all the things
Man Google..You sure do know what I want before I know what I want...Are you spying on me too?1 -
Worst part of being a dev?
When you need to work together with people that are too stubborn. Recently I needed to work together with 2 guys and when they started ranting on me for literally nothing, I realized not everyone is able to work in a team.
Now im ranting back on them.
What are your experiences with people like this and what do you do to make teamwork more enjoyable? -
What do you do when you're trying to push yourself further by learning new concepts and techniques but start to feel the burnout closing in?
Usually I'm useless for about week if I push myself too hard. Would love to overcome this.
How do you guys handle this?4 -
When someone gives you a requirements document that has too many details including table names that do not fit your convention but doesn't give a simple breakdown of things such as when x = y do this.
My job is so much more complicated since the requirements document is almost 3k words when it could be a few paragraphs. -
Ever tried to code a plugin for SonarQube? ... Yeah, don't do that. Documented API? Nope. Just some not-helpful-at-all-tutorial.
Largest undocumented code base I have ever seen. It's unbelievable. At some point you decide it's better to look at the code of other (undocumented) plugins to extract any API methods there.
Hep from the (otherwise pretty active) mailing list? - You wish!
The best thing is when you discover on Stack Overflow that the thing you have been trying to do for two weeks (and someone else was too, apparently) is not possible with their API.
PS: Maybe this has changed since their last version but some months ago it was every bit like this. -
Hey devs, I'm doing a final year project for a company where I have to implement a solution using web assembly.
Now this can be anything at all from a new operating system to a virtual machine. Although I have something in mind I thought I'd ask the community too, do you guys have any interesting project ideas that can be implemented using web assembly? -
# This isn't THAT bad, but since I never had any collab before this one, this is the worst so far
I'm in a web development school where we need to do a yearly project. At the beginning, we started with the idea of doing an online wallet that would handle crypto-currencied (#blockchains), and other currencies too.
On the paper that sounds good, but the dude decided to create a NodeJS server api, and let's be honest, this was a gas factory. I couldn't help him because he was too fast in his ideas, and the third member was a bit more useful because he was the one creating the mobile app, so all he needed was an url that the dude couln't manage to create.
After a few weeks he started over the project, then over again a few weeks later, before coming to us and saying it was too difficult. We said "yeah, I mean you're own your own since the beginning, no wonders!" "Uh do you guys care if we change the whole project to do something else? Like a CV library"
Went a moment where he tried to over sell some incredible (read "overly common") features that already existed 10 years ago on some famous websites (ie. Monster), and he then eventually told me that this idea came from his new job, and that they needed this library. So we would have to work for his company for free. Nice.
The third guy and me came with a new idea (image recognition with IA and stuff), and we saw the dude maybe 5 times the whole week while we're supposed to work together -
"Take this test," they said.
I did, and scored 81/100. Not great, but not bad.
"Not bad," they said. "But you took too much time and didn't show us experience in JavaScript."
I completed all tasks in the allotted time and did them all in JavaScript. What else am I supposed to do for you people?1 -
"hey come try this good chat program called demonsaw"
5 days later:
developer: "i have no idea why it's so unstable for you only, at this point i'd suggest trying a different distro"
me: *tries a bunch of distros* "yeah all of them are just as fucked"
we went through "well is it DS' config? Is it your kernel? systemd? debian misconfig? libs? hardware? network? other shit running? ulimit settings? does Windows do this too? How about OSX?"
i feel so bad but we have no idea what is happening6 -
Unity Engine lures you into trying it out with its simple starting Tools.
But once you realize this is just a fassade - it's too late and the trap got you.
You're now in limbo of to simple code which isn't compatible with the more complicated features!
Oh you try to fix this bug here? Let me suggest you 6 year old solutions from Unity Version that are not supported anymore!
Sorry just have to say it: Unity is big pile of sh*t! I don't know who had the idea of making this frankenstein-monster!
Just to consider thinking not only making one monster - NO!
Lets do a whole bunch of iterations and versions of this monster and yes you guessed it: they are not compatible to each other!1 -
- Change this, change that too, oh and that too.
* Ok, will do ( however unlikely it's going to be finished correctly, as you didn't consult me before or listen to me about the impact this might have )
- ( just stfu and do it )
Sometime at or after important cutoff:
- Hey this doesn't show up, is that right
* Yeah, you wanted too many things changed at once + fix it and notice a stupid error like an && switched with a ||, or other models that don't know about change x yet
/repeat3 -
I need help,
I'm on that task for a month and it's a shitty task where I need to write algorithms too complicated for my level and I'm totally demotivated right now... I can't even understand my own code and can't focus for more than 5min... I just wanna go home and never see that code and work on that anymore...
Has this situation ever happened to you ? What should I do ?6 -
Maybe someone can help me.
Guys my team uses a master catalog to configure products in CRM application.
The master catalog is a "hidden Eclipse", it has the same interface. But this application has really problems with performance, is too slow.... It usues only 500mb of ram per users.
I try to find a configuration properties but nothing...
Do you have any idea?
(Is like the "Smart Insert" as the image attached btw)5 -
Google announced that android apps could run on Chrome Os as a native desktop applications. To be honest, as an android developer I'm too happy about this! Do you think it will boost up chrome book sales. Maybe, Chrome OS is becoming a mainstream OS? What do you think about it?11
-
I'm so tired when I got up. Didn't sleep much last night. Working on a Sunday night till 2AM because I did not work the week on the project I was given.
This is not happening for the first time, I sleep late around 3AM to do my work, as day is too noisy and distracting. Attend some meetings during the day and get lazy in the evenings. Work during nights and then the next day I'm all tired for daily stand up.
How do you people tackle this schedule? I need serious advices.5 -
Do you have any images/memes for `bus factor == 1` situations ? Any devopsreactions ?
Strikes at me too many times nowadays :)
Not this one with yellow bus :D It's ugly -
Whenever I'm assigned to a new task, my whole brain goes to panic mode. Thoughts like, how can I solve this issue as fast as possible, do I need to draw it, do I need to read an article or watch YTB videos etc.. So confused about where to start that I forget to f*** sit down and write some code.
Often times, we know the solution deep inside but are too scared to jump on it.
So my tip is - start with writing some code, and the things you don't know, well Google is free.1 -
I swear, I swear this is going to be the last (the best, also, but mostly the last) webdev gig I'm gonna do. SO. FED. UP.
When I end this, I have one month I want to spend in refining some other tech related skill. The main two points needed: a decent pay, a fair amount of free time (I have to study along that: math major, my singing/piano/maybe other stuff too during the year). What do you suggest? Linux sysadmin is a thing I can reasonably become in that windows of time or at least compatible with my needs? Because it catchs my eye. 😵 -
What do you do when you're stuck at a piece of code ?
When you've tried every possible solution you can think of.
When you've been through all the options/discussion over the Internet regarding the thing and haven't found any solution.
And specially when you're working alone.
Is it happening to me only? Or anyone else have faced this too.7 -
Guys I need to deploy a very simple authentication API service.
You register with a username (actually an ID with a determined format), a password and uuid. You login with your username and password and if credentials are correct you get back the uuid as a response (JSON or whatever the fuck).
If you forget your password, you can use your uuid (which is confidential, very long string) in some POST request to set a new password. If you forget your username, you use the uuid again in a GET request to get back your username.
I've been looking at a bunch of solutions online and I don't think they suit my purpose exactly and all require emails (Like Firebase, AUth0, etc.) So, let me get this straight: NO FUCKING EMAILS INVOLVED PLEASE.
The above are the EXACT requirements I need for my work (for a good cause too). I fucking hate 0-requirement exploratory research tasks and I'm plagued with those. Those requirements are the only way it should work. So again, NO EMAILS INVOLVED PLEASE.
Also, please note that I have never developed an API in my life. I feel like StackOverflow will be assholes about this so I am asking this here.
I know it is very easy to do and there are probably dozens of ways to do this. I just do not know how, documentations are vague and overwhelming (or I'm just a little stupid lately). Another thing is that I am not sure of how can I do this in the most secure way. Bonus if this can be dockerized.
I know I sound a little rude,so I am sorry. It is just my frustration and depressing times I am going through that's preventing from thinking straight.6 -
Is git a history of what happend or a list intentional changes?
Had this discussion with my boss. He said i shouldn't rebase my feature branch because it is too much hassle (I did some squashing and fixups). I should just commit on top and merge master into my branch.
What is your git philosophy?
Do you "own" a feature branch until you create the PR?6 -
Why do you ask “can you {do this/that}” when “no” is not an option? Why don’t dare dare to say “please {do this/that}”?
Yeah nah I’m still gonna say no. But fuck your hypocrisy too9 -
Recruiter message: Do you want to get an extra 50£ for Christmas? Get me in contact with one of your friends fitting this job description...
I DID NOT APPLY FOR A FUCKING RECRUITER POSITION! Either do your fucking job and forward my CV to a relevant employer or if my skills are too worthless for your Olympian standards STOP BOTHERING ME. -
For a project I'm working on:
Does your work allow you to sign in to your personal accounts for i.e. Gmail or Facebook on your work device?
Do you think this should be allowed?
Do you do it yourself?
I imagine it's a gray area. I'm even thinking it could be a security risk? But maybe healthier too to keep business and private life separate? Thoughts?4 -
@all, picture the scene, your employer hired a Dev into an equal level role to you, he was running his own company, handed off to his father and brother. You now hear your employer is purchasing 40% in said company to outsource 'certain' projects too (off shore developers). You don't really rate this developers skills AND the work so far from this outsourced group has been sub par. How does this make you feel? What issues do you perceive? Am i right to feel concerned?5
-
Do you ever feel your job is too demanding compared to other software engineering jobs?
I've worked in two companies for now.
First company, Kotlin microservices and we had QAs, didn't have to write a lot of tech specs and no post mortem or on call at all (not yet atleast), it was just talk to PO, he tells the business requirement, we work together to make tickets, no legacy code so was easy to know what to do for tech, no monolith to handle or anything, much easier, just code and meetings.
Current job is meetings with PO telling you what he wants, have to write a full on tech spec and also know business requirements and product knowledge as the current PO doesn't know anything about how the products work, writing huge tech specs, communicating on requests sent my clients on slack, pretty much always firefighting, the system is so fragile and legacy, coding is actually less its mostly spending hours finding out how this shittt legacy flows work (no docs) , PO pretty much does fuck all, just wants meetings and wants us to do very very stupid tedious low impacts projects. This bundled with oncall and onpoint and the absolute sheer amount of incidents our team is involved in (on average we have 4 a week LOL, varying size but they're all very annoying) and the overtime oncall benefit is so bad too, if you do get paged out of hours, you just get that hour back during work hours. In other companies like friends, you get paid for the whole time you're oncall, whether you get paged or not. I can't go out anywhere on weekends or anywhere at all during on call in case I get paged, which happens a lot. Its a cluster of a mess. This bundled with manager stoll not wanting to promote me to IC3 despite all I've done so far.
My question is, is this more normal than I think it is? Is this just how crap our career can be? Mind you I'm in the UK so not getting those mind boggling US wages sadly either. Have US colleagues in same team doing same job but obviously getting more11 -
How do you handle a customer asking too much revisions
I have a client asked for a web app, i made it and everytime he asks for a change, edit, add new functionality, then he thinks back, no remove that and re-add that, change color, no i don't like it, change to this, hmm move this here back and forth i just wish i didn't deal with him in the first place...
so frustrating3 -
what do you guys think of rating your skills in cv as a graph?
like sql - 7.5 etc...?
i've just tried it and sent my resume to a couple employers but i'm not getting the usual response (more activity).
i also did a very honest review of my skills (according to 3 senior colleagues), so maybe the scores seem too low? how would you react if you saw someone with rather low scores? i'm asking this because developers and mortals probably view these scores very differently. Maybe some suggestions?4 -
Handed off my code to Devs working on main products. Long presentation explaining everything.
Have discussion afterwards about what it does, but not how it looks.
They say thank you, I say you're welcome, and since this is my first bigger project, if they have some pointers or glaring defects in the code I'd welcome the feedback.
They all start laughing. I do too but in my head I'm like "wtf, I ask for feed back and you laugh? That's."
It's been bothering me.2 -
When did this sector get too busy to do design? All we do is throw cupcakes against the wall now. Even with breakfixes a simple “what do you need from System X and what can you pass in?” is now deemed too slow.4
-
So I've been working on a project that has gone to shit, scope isn't clear and deadline is too tight. Developers get dropped into the team to "make it work"
Currently I think it is unavailable to succeed within the deadline. But this got me thinking, how do you actually save such a project? Could a good project lead save a chaotic project? If so... How? (And more importantly to me, how does one become a good project lead, do I need 10+ years of programming experience?) -
Does anyone else sometimes make customer support people do things that you're just too lazy or don't want to do?
I'm especially bad about this if I'm looking into a service and they have a chat person that pops up. Since you bugged me while I was trying to do my research, how about you just answer all these questions I have so I don't have to click through your site. -
If a software company has 3 unique client projects, is it better to structure the discord server this way:
`-` is a category (parent) and `--` is a text or voice channel (child)
OPTION 1: category as project
- Project A
-- general
-- resources
-- design
-- dev team 1
-- dev team 2
- Project B
-- general
-- resources
-- design
-- dev team 1
-- dev team 2
- Project C
-- general
-- resources
-- design
-- dev team 1
-- dev team 2
OPTION 2: category as event
- Projects
-- projectA-general
-- projectB-general
-- projectC-general
- Design
-- projectA-design
-- projectB-design
-- projectC-design
- Resources
-- projectA-resources
-- projectB-resources
-- projectC-resources
- Developer discussions
-- projectA-team1-dev
-- projectA-team2-dev
-- projectB-dev
-- projectC-dev
- Meetings
-- projectA-meeting
-- projectB-meeting
-- projectC-meeting
?
What do you think is better.
PS. there is literally NO other communication service that can structure it exactly like this. Only discord is powerful and FREE to do it like this.
- Rocketchat isnt flexible enough to do this
- Slack requires me to pay first so i can do this
- Teams too
So fuck all of them I'll stick to discord unless someone can name me 1 single alternative service capable of structuring channels like this for a real time communication for FREE25 -
I have been using Linux for a while and I get update notification about 3 times per week. I find it annoying. As soon as I plan to get some work done, I get a large notification popup saying "Hey, it's time to install le updates". I find it distracting; especially so because I use my laptop about 3 times per week; so basically EVERY TIME when I'm about to use it, it says "HEY you know what? Time for UPDATES".
Updates on Windows are annoying too; but at least they do not appear as often. I find this unacceptable and I do not know how anyone could think that distracting people from work so often is "ok". This is bad.11 -
Has anybody been at a place when you try to finish stories but it just takes too long? And finishing work in general seems very difficult? How do you deal with this or break the cycle?
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Do you have a smart watch with a magnetic band? Do you take it off while using your mac to prevent damage? If so read this one post that may worry you.
I always take off my lg watch with the magnetic band to prevent damage (Null, say something new dammit!). It was sitting on the left side of my mac and normally sits a fair distance away. Well someone needed my help and the watch got too close to my mac (the front left side) and my screen just turned black almost immediately. Wtf happend? It fixed itself almost as soon as I moved it but holy shit did my heart drop.4 -
I'm an android developer. Self teaching for about 2 years and working hard to learn more.
I've just launched a game on PlayStore, a simple draw game. There are few more of this kind.
I just want to ask for your opinion: Icon, Design, Functionality, Experience inside the game and even Promoting my game.
What do you think about my work?
https://play.google.com/store/apps/...
You can let me a review on PlayStore too. I'M waiting for you advices and everything you have to say, just say it. I can handle it :))7 -
last month i got a project signed to build an app to do few idiotic things, the whole point of it was for my client to earn money using google reward video (imagine). well i've worked on a lot of projects and this one seemed to be too simple. after checking Ionic website i saw lots of plugins among them where admobs-free and admobs-plus and even a paid version so i checked them out and it seemed to be pretty awesome, well. after a month i can only tell you this: DO NOT EVER USE IONIC. NEVER. you should constantly remove platforms and add it again and even so it gets messed up quickly. right now i just regret that i started this project with ionic and i cannot tell you how many bugs i ran into. JUST DON'T USE IT!
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I learned something.
L
E
A
R
N
E
D
Why do i see so many learnt with a t? Are all past tense verbs changing or just the one that is supposed to indicate learnedness, knowledge, intelligence, achivement?
Am i taking this too seriously? BECAUSE I ALMOST ALWAYS SEE CODERS DOING THIS LEARNT CRAP. STOP. YOU LOOK DUMB.
Or is it just me? Too uptight? Bc to me, learnt is a syntax error. And is not even a fucking t sound it's a d. Big fat d.7 -
Has this happened to you all too or just me?
So I was interested in a coding course and it was really long like 8 weeks, but still I started and now in the mid I just got bored of it and want to do something else.
Do comment and tell me if it has happened to you too...1 -
When you describe to the business owner as a dev that this is a bad idea but they want it anyways so you just go on and dev it. Then 1 month into dev hell thinking about hanging your self for poor choices they go “This future is too difficult for the customer to understand and its not going to work”. Do you say i told you so or do you hang him with a mouse cable?1
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Every time someone asks too many things to get the job. Like knowledge of commonly used platforms yet they expect you to know many of the fashionable technologies like node, angular etc. All these for junior developers. And all they want in the end is to make you make payed plugins yourself instead of just purchasing the existing ones.
This makes me thinking, is it me as just an average web developer that needs to learn everything, or is it just them that they just want to pay less to do much more?1