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Search - "eh ?"
-
It saved me from suicide.
You have to understand first that things in India work differently. Academics are not personal, but a social business. Academic competition in India is very high and not in a good way, or for the good reasons.
As a teenager was sent off from my home to the other side of the country. I didn't like it. My studies suffered, and I failed my exams. Came back home and faced months of emotional abuse (guilt trips, scornful comments, plain insults) from my parents, neighbours and relatives. Indian society is just built that way. They didn't know they were damaging my psyche, or they were too angry to care. Lots of other shit (lost friends, lost love) happened at roughly the same time period and everything started to fall like dominos.
I fell into severe depression. Lost appetite, lost sleep. Nothing mattered anymore. There were mornings when I would wake up and not get up from my bed for hours, and not even move a finger. Self-hate became the motto of the day. I became violent and anti-social. I would either be angry or trying not to break down and give up all the time. Many a night, I considered suicide. I would end up googling for easy ways out to take.
But what gave me a way out of the pains of my reality was programming. It helped my keep my head, figuratively and literally. It kept my mind distracted and gave me a sense of purpose. I would shut myself in, plug in my headphones, shut the world out and just experiment.
I am not saying that I am the best at what I do, but those sleepless and troubled nights, and many other similar nights over the years have given me a definite edge over my colleagues.
Even today, when everything is falling to pieces, I know I have something to fall back on. I still get episodes of depression every now and then, but I know I can always pick up a new project and distract myself. It probably isn't healthy, but eh...
I am alive. I code. I kick ass. My colleagues respect and value my opinion. I love my job.
Computer does what I tell it to do (mostly :p) and I feel good. Because for that small moment, I am in control of everything. For that infinitesimally small moment of my average, boring, and somewhat painful life, I am God.51 -
Its Friday, you all know what that means! ... Its results day for practiseSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!!!
*audience: wwwwwwooooooooo!!!!*
We've had a bewildering array of candidates, lets remind ourselves:
- a psychopath that genuinely scared me a little
- a CEO I would take pleasure seeing in pain
- a pothead who mistook me for his drug dealer
- an unbelievable idiot
- an arrogant idiot obsessed with strings
Tough competition, but there can be only one ... *drum roll* ... the winner is ... none of them!
*audience: GASP!*
*audience member: what?*
*audience member: no way!*
*audience member: your fucking kidding me!*
Sir calm down! this is a day time show, no need for that ... let me explain, there is a winner ... but we've kept him till last and for a good reason
*audience: ooooohhhhh*
You see our final contestant and ultimate winner of this series is our good old friend "C", taking the letters of each of our previous contestants, that spells TRAGIC which is the only word to explain C.
*audience: laughs*
Oh I assure you its no laughing matter. C was with us for 6 whole months ... 6 excruciatingly painful months.
Backstory:
We needed someone with frontend, backend and experience with IoT devices, or raspberry PI's. We didn't think we'd get it all, but in walked an interviewee with web development experience, a tiny bit of Angular and his masters project was building a robot device that would change LED's depending on your facial expressions. PERFECT!!!
... oh to have a time machine
Working with C:
- He never actually did the tutorials I first set him on for Node.js and Angular 2+ because they were "too boring". I didn't find this out until some time later.
- The first project I had him work on was a small dashboard and backend, but he decided to use Angular 1 and a different database than what we were using because "for me, these are easier".
- He called that project done without testing / deploying it in the cloud, despite that being part of the ticket, because he didn't know how. Rather than tell or ask anyone ... he just didn't do it and moved on.
- As part of his first tech review I had to explain to him why he should be using if / else, rather than just if's.
- Despite his past experience building server applications and dashboards (4 years!), he never heard of a websocket, and it took a considerable amount of time to explain.
- When he used a node module to open a server socket, he sat staring at me like a deer caught in headlights completely unaware of how to use / test it was working. I again had to explain it and ultimately test it for him with a command line client.
- He didn't understand the need to leave logging inside an application to report errors. Because he used to ... I shit you not ... drive to his customers, plug into their server and debug their application using a debugger.
... props for using a debugger, but fuck me.
- Once, after an entire 2 days of tapping me on the shoulder every 15 mins for questions / issues, I had to stop and ask:
Me: "Have you googled it?"
C: "... eh, no"
Me: "can I ask why?"
C: "well, for me, I only google for something I don't know"
Me: "... well do you know what this error message means?"
C: "ah good point, i'll try this time"
... maybe he was A's stoner buddy?
- He burned through our free cloud usage allowance for a month, after 1 day, meaning he couldn't test anything else under his account. He left an application running, broadcasting a lot of data. Turns out the on / off button on the dashboard only worked for "on". He had been killing his terminal locally and didn't know how to "ctrl + c a cloud app" ... so left it running. His intention was to restart the app every time you are done using it ... but forgot.
- His issue with the previous one ... not any of his countless mistakes, not the lack of even trying to make the button work, no, no, not for C. C's issue is the cloud is "shit" for giving us such little allowances. (for the record in a month I had never used more than 5%).
- I had to explain environment variables and why they are necessary for passwords and tokens etc. He didn't know it wasn't ok to commit these into GitHub.
- At his project meetups with partners I had to repeatedly ask him to stop googling gifs and pay attention to the talks.
- He complained that we don't have 3 hour lunch breaks like his last place.
- He once copied and pasted the same function 450 times into a file as a load test ... are loops too mainstream nowadays?
You see C is our winner, because after 6 painful months (companies internal process / requirements) he actually achieved nothing. I really mean that, nothing. Every thing was so broken, so insecure / wide open, built without any kind of common sense or standards I had to delete it all and start again ... it took me 2 weeks.
I hope you've all enjoyed this series and will join me in praying for the return of my sanity ... I do miss it a lot.
Yours truly,
practiseSafeHex20 -
Nobody:
Senior frontend Dev at my company: "microservices best thing ever"
Also him: "Relational databases gonna die"
Also him (talking to the DB team): "You're gonna dissapear, Mongo is the future"
Me: "Eh... Dude, Mongo is still a database.."
Him: "Microservices"
Send help...27 -
TL;DR: One of my coworkers is a genius engineer and doesn't get as much recognition as he deserves, whereas another extremely mediocre engineer on the team gets praised for his crappy applications.
We have one engineer on our team (let's call him Hank) who started with me at the company when we were interns, and man is he a freaking genius. I swear, you could give this guy any language/library/framework, and he'll be fluent in it in less than a week. He's singlehandedly written two of our most complex applications by himself, and has a great sense of UX as well. All of his apps look fantastic.
The problem is, I feel like he doesn't get anywhere near as much recognition as he should. I try to talk him up to our manager, and our manager knows that Hank is smart, but he also overlooks him for promotions and praise because he's a little spacey (he's got quite the case of ADD) and doesn't speak up very often. He's got trouble focusing sometimes, but when he's in the zone, he can write an exponentially better and more complex application in 2 days than some of our other engineers can do in 4 months.
For example, we have another engineer on our team (let's call him Phil,) and the entire team has their heads so far up Phil's butt that I'm surprised they haven't suffocated yet. Don't get me wrong, he's a smart guy. He's great with the more basic aspects of our job, but when it comes to writing an application, he has no idea what he's doing, and he takes months to write something that should have taken him days. Then when he finally releases it, it's riddled with bugs. But everybody praises and bows down to him for it. "Oh Phil, this app is amazing. You're a genius, you deserve to be a Lead." Then we have Hank sitting quietly at his desk, banging out his 3rd big application of the month, and people say "Eh, nobody's going to use those apps anyway. He's wasting time." And I'm standing there thinking, "You asshats, we already have a solution for the app that Phil wrote, and the entire company is already using it. It's exponentially better, why did you let him waste time writing this when there's already an existing solution?!"
Oh well, I hope Hank gets some recognition soon. He certainly deserves it.18 -
Boot up/shut down(different os edition)
Windows:
......eh?....
......zzzz......z...eh?
......
.....
....hold up.....zzz
....eh? Oh right!....
......z.....ok ok I am here...what?
....z...zzzzzz
Mac OS:
........
.......
..eh?
...ok I am here wtf u want?
Linux (most distros)
....snores coke...what?I AM HERE LETS GO MOFOCKA
-----shut down
Windows:
Still eating glue...
....glue....glue....glue...
WINDOWS WILL UPDATE WHE...whst are you doing with that pillow shshuahahhaah..x___x
Mac OS
.....
..ok fuck u bye whatever
Linux (most distros)
Ok bye xoxoxo talk to you lateer
**dead**32 -
*came in this morning to see this conversation in slack from the remote teams*
Dev: Hey guys, I'm trying to push to the develop branch, telling me its locked. Is there a new process?
Lead dev: Yes I locked it because the repo is now dead, the last release that went out is the last for this year and ever for this app. Were merging this app with another, starting from the last release's code. We'll all have to swap over to the new repo soon.
Dev: ... eh ok I didn't put anything in the last release branch as it wasn't urgent. Normally our process is anything in /develop goes out in the new year. I've been merging to /develop for the last few weeks ... is that code now gone?
*14 question mark emoji reactions*
Lead dev: Yes
*27 angry emoji reactions*
Engineering manager: WHAT? when was this decided? When was it communicated?
Lead dev: oh I assumed my product counterpart had been spreading the messages around, have they not?
Several teams: no, nope, first i'm hearing of it.
Lead dev: Ok, i'll ask them what happened. Be aware then that most of the stuff thats going into develop now, most likely won't be allowed in until March. They want to prioritise releasing this new merged app and don't want anything to impact it.
Dev: So wait, i'm working on stuff now. What do I do? Where do I base the branch? Where do I merge?
<no response>
*My team comes into the office*
Dev: eeehhh ... what does this mean for our past 4 weeks of work? and all the stuff needed to go out in January?
Me: not.a.fucking.clue16 -
Anyone know this bitch hacker 127.0.0.1 story?
WORST HACKERS OF ALL TIME
CONTINUED IN THE COMMENTS BECUASE IT IS SO LONG...
TLdr bitch hacker hacks himself by localhost
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> why do you kick me
<bitchchecker> can’t you discus normally
<bitchchecker> answer!
<Elch> we didn’t kick you
<Elch> you had a ping timeout: * bitchchecker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
<bitchchecker> what ping man
<bitchchecker> the timing of my pc is right
<bitchchecker> i even have dst
<bitchchecker> you banned me
<bitchchecker> amit it you son of a bitch
<HopperHunter|afk> LOL
<HopperHunter|afk> shit you’re stupid, DST^^
<bitchchecker> shut your mouth WE HAVE DST!
<bitchchecker> for two weaks already
<bitchchecker> when you start your pc there is a message from windows that DST is applied.
<Elch> You’re a real computer expert
<bitchchecker> shut up i hack you
<Elch> ok, i’m quiet, hope you don’t show us how good a hacker you are
<bitchchecker> tell me your network number man then you’re dead
<Elch> Eh, it’s 129.0.0.1
<Elch> or maybe 127.0.0.1
<Elch> yes exactly that’s it: 127.0.0.1 I’m waiting for you great attack
<bitchchecker> in five minutes your hard drive is deleted
<Elch> Now I’m frightened
<bitchchecker> shut up you’ll be gone
<bitchchecker> i have a program where i enter your ip and you’re dead
<bitchchecker> say goodbye
<Elch> to whom?
<bitchchecker> to you man
<bitchchecker> buy buy
<Elch> I’m shivering thinking about such great Hack0rs like you
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> dude be happy my pc crashed otherwise you’d be gone
<Metanot> lol
<Elch> bitchchecker: Then try hacking me again… I still have the same IP: 127.0.0.1
<bitchchecker> you’re so stupid man
<bitchchecker> say buy buy
<Metanot> ah, [Please control your cussing] off
<bitchchecker> buy buy elch
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-9ff3c180.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> elch you son of a bitch
<Metanot> bitchchecker how old are you?
<Elch> What’s up bitchchecker?
<bitchchecker> you have a frie wal
<bitchchecker> fire wall
<Elch> maybe, i don’t know
<bitchchecker> i’m 26
<Metanot> such behaviour with 26?
<Elch> how did you find out that I have a firewall?
<Metanot> tststs this is not very nice missy
<bitchchecker> because your gay fire wall directed my turn off signal back to me
<bitchchecker> be a man turn that shit off
<Elch> cool, didn’t know this was possible.
<bitchchecker> thn my virus destroys your pc man
<Metanot> are you hacking yourselves?
<Elch> yes bitchchecker is trying to hack me
<Metanot> he bitchchecker if you’re a hacker you have to get around a firewall even i can do that
<bitchchecker> yes man i hack the elch but the sucker has a fire wall the
<Metanot> what firewall do you have?
<bitchchecker> like a girl
<Metanot> firewall is normal a normal hacker has to be able to get past it…you girl
<He> Bitch give yourself a jackson and chill you’re letting them provoce you and give those little girls new material all the time
<bitchchecker> turn the firewall off then i send you a virus [Please control your cussing]er
<Elch> Noo
<Metanot> he bitchchecker why turn it off, you should turn it off
<bitchchecker> you’re afraid
<bitchchecker> i don’t wanna hack like this if he hides like a girl behind a fire wall
<bitchchecker> elch turn off your shit wall!
<Metanot> i wanted to say something about this, do you know the definition of hacking??? if he turns of the firewall that’s an invitation and that has nothing to do with hacking
<bitchchecker> shut up
<Metanot> lol
<bitchchecker> my grandma surfs with fire wall
<bitchchecker> and you suckers think you’re cool and don’t dare going into the internet without a fire wall
<Elch> bitchchecker, a collegue showed me how to turn the firewall off. Now you can try again
<Metanot> bitchhacker can’t hack
<Black<TdV>> nice play on words
<bitchchecker> wort man
<Elch> bitchchecker: I’m still waiting for your attack!
<Metanot> how many times again he is no hacker
<bitchchecker> man do you want a virus
<bitchchecker> tell me your ip and it deletes your hard drive
<Metanot> lol ne give it up i’m a hacker myself and i know how hackers behave and i can tell you 100.00% you’re no hacker..30 -
At the beginning of an interview...
HR girl: You know, that position you applied is already taken but I found some similar in our company.
Me: Uhm, ok?
HRG: What about this one? It's some programming... *pointing at some IT position regarding db maintenance* Do you want to try that?
Me: Sure, why not.
I was applying to student position at embedded firmware development at the time. I did some school project with MySQL but it was few years back and I happily forgot most about it.
Anyway, story continues.
IT manager: Hi, I heard you want to join our lines.
Me: That is what I heard as well.
IT: Eh?
Me: I came for completely different position actually.
IT: Uhm, ok. We have standardised test, let's see what you can do.
It was some basic stuff for db guys but I was totally lost. I was done after 3 minutes returning nearly blank paper.
We shaked hands, both agreed this is not well fit for me and I went away.
After this botched attempt HR girl remembered that there is another team looking for embedded developer students. I was accepted.
Corporates are marvelous.3 -
Boss: if I could put together a counter offer, is that something you might be interested in?
Me: eh, no. I’ve accepted an offer for slightly less money than I’m on
Boss: oh ... oh ok. Right so there’s nothing I can do?
Me: afraid not. You can’t offer me a role not dealing with those people in the states, having to use their shitty custom tools or having to follow their bad practises all day.
Boss: ok ..... shit9 -
Probably the biggest one in my life.
TL:DR at the bottom
A client wanted to create an online retirement calculator, sounds easy enough , i said sure.
Few days later i get an email with an excel file saying the online version has to work exactly like this and they're on a tight deadline
Having a little experience with excel, i thought eh, what could possibly go wrong, if anything i can take off the calculations from the excel file
I WAS WRONG !!!
17 Sheets, Linking each other, Passing data to each sheet to make the calculation
( Sure they had lot of stuff to calculate, like age, gender, financial group etc etc )
First thing i said to my self was, WHAT THE FREAKING FUCK IS THIS ?, WHAT YEAR IS THIS ?
After messing with it for couple of hours just to get one calculation out of it, i gave up
Thought about making a mysql database with the cell data and making the calculations, but NOOOO.
Whoever made it decided to put each cell a excel calculation ( so even if i manage to get it into a database and recode all the calculations it would be wayyy pass the deadline )
Then i had an epiphany
"What if i could just parse the excel file and get the data ?"
Did a bit of research sure enough there's a php project
( But i think it was outdated and takes about 15-25 seconds to parse, and makes a copy of the original file )
But this seemed like the best option at the time.
So downloaded the library, finished the whole thing, wrote a cron job to delete temporary files, and added a loading spinner for that delay, so people know something is happening
( and had few days to spare )
Sent the demo link to client, they were very happy with it, cause it worked same as their cute little excel file and gave the same result,
It's been live on their website for almost a year now, lot of submissions, no complains
I was feeling bit guilty just after finishing it, cause i could've done better, but not anymore
Sorry for making it so long, to understand the whole thing, you need to know the full story
TL:DR - Replicated the functionality of a 17 sheet excel calculator in php hack-ishly.8 -
*tries to convert a Windows drive into btrfs*
*copies the whole 1.4TB of data back from server*
Windows: Wait, you expect me to do more than browsing the Phasebuk and playing games? Over a million files?! No no no, can't do that.
*reboot after BSOD*
Ehm, a hard drive you say? A drive that I just fucked up? What are you talking about? I don't see any hard drive :/
Piece of shit.
Crappy Arch Linux laptop: ah, I see a new hard drive connected here. Limme mount it real quick for ya :3
Me: eh, not now. I want to format it first.
Linux: oh, cool! Your wish is my command <3
*formats hard drive to btrfs*
Me: alright, now please copy all that 1.4TB onto the drive and please don't overheat _/\_
Linux: Gotcha! On your commands sir!
See the difference? The mental communication level? Windows is like talking to an obnoxious grade schooler that just does whatever the fuck they want to. Linux on the other hand is so much more mature and capable. Guess which one I like the most.20 -
Got laid off my by old employer back in 2019 because they have their priorities completely wrong.
Got a mail today whether I could fix something for them (ofc, they wanted me to do it essentially for free).
One of the websites I built for a customer back when I still worked there had a massive bug (that I was aware off and patched in later versions of the library causing it).
They never updated it so, I told them "just update the library".
Apparently, the idiot that was in charge of maintaining said site after I left didn't know how to and completely broke everything.
The hilarious part: While I setup everything using stuff like Docker and Git to make rollbacks easy...
That idiot went back to FTP and manually upgrading the databases through PhpMyAdmin :^)
He nuked the entire site.
Database? Gone.
Codebase? Borked (installed a version with a lot of breaking changes without properly reading the migration guide).
And knowing that shit company, they don't have any backups either.
They said "I wasn't needed because we have other good devs" when they laid me off.
Uhu, I can eh... see those good devs doing their job :^)51 -
API Guy.
He has a serious regex problem.
Regexes are never easy to read, but the ones he uses just take the cake. They're either blatantly wrong, or totally over-engineered garbage that somehow still lacks basic functionality. I think "garbage" here is a little too nice, since you can tell what garbage actually is/was without studying it for five minutes.
In lieu of an actual rant (mostly because I'm overworked), I'll just leave a few samples here. I recommend readying some bleach before you continue reading.
Not a valid url name regex:
VALID_URL_NAME_REGEX = /\A[\w\-]+\Z/
Semi-decent email regex: (by far the best of the four)
VALID_EMAIL_REGEX = /\A[\w+\-.]+@[a-z\d\-.]+\.[a-z]+\z/i
Over-engineered mess that only works for (most) US numbers:
VALID_PHONE_REGEX = /1?\s*\W?\s*([2-9][0-8][0-9])\s*\W?\s*([2-9][0-9]{2})\s*\W?\s*([0-9]{4})(\se?x?t?(\d*))?/
and for the grand finale:
ZIP_CODE_REGEX = /(^\d{5}(-\d{4})?$)|(^[ABCEGHJKLMNPRSTVXY]{1}\d{1}[A-Z]{1} *\d{1}[A-Z]{1}\d{1}$)|GIR[ ]?0AA|((AB|AL|B|BA|BB|BD|BH|BL|BN|BR|BS|BT|CA|CB|CF|CH|CM|CO|CR|CT|CV|CW|DA|DD|DE|DG|DH|DL|DN|DT|DY|E|EC|EH|EN|EX|FK|FY|G|GL|GY|GU|HA|HD|HG|HP|HR|HS|HU|HX|IG|IM|IP|IV|JE|KA|KT|KW|KY|L|LA|LD|LE|LL|LN|LS|LU|M|ME|MK|ML|N|NE|NG|NN|NP|NR|NW|OL|OX|PA|PE|PH|PL|PO|PR|RG|RH|RM|S|SA|SE|SG|SK|SL|SM|SN|SO|SP|SR|SS|ST|SW|SY|TA|TD|TF|TN|TQ|TR|TS|TW|UB|W|WA|WC|WD|WF|WN|WR|WS|WV|YO|ZE)(\d[\dA-Z]?[ ]?\d[ABD-HJLN-UW-Z]{2}))|BFPO[ ]?\d{1,4}/
^ which, by the way, doesn't match e.g. Australian zip codes. That cost us quite a few sales. And yes, that is 512 characters long.47 -
Gahaa!!! Finally back home, after 7 fucking hours of sitting in busses and trains!
BUT I GOT MY NEXUS 6P!! Yoo-hoo!!! :D
And I've got a nice story about it.
So when I bought it, the guy selling it to me was a nontechnical type (I think?) whose wife was the previous owner. So I thought to myself, cool a nontechnical user used it.. probably no hardware mods or anything to worry about. Apparently they even factory reset it for me :)
Now, when I left to go back home, I of course immediately booted up the thing and did the whole doodad of logging into it, setting up the device etc.
Then it struck me. When I booted up the device and wanted to log in, there was a lock from Google that required me to first authenticate as either a previous account of the device, or their unlock pattern. So I figured, eh fuck it, I'll just flash some AOSP without GApps or send the owner an email asking what the previous pattern is.
But I still had to wait 30 minutes at the bus stop so I thought to myself.. previous owner was a nontechnical woman.. maybe I could crack it. No way to know if I don't try. So I started putting in random unlock patterns.
3 attempts later - I shit you not! - pattern accepted.
Do you want to add this account?
Oh boy Google, of course I do! Thanks for letting me in pal!
3 fucking attempts. That's all it took to crack the unlock pattern of an unknown person. 😎23 -
Had this yesterday on my way back home from the meeting. Bumped into an old study friend who was never fond of Linux even for servers.
"so what do you use at your company?"
"oh uhm yeah uhm right.... Ehh yes ehhhh so uhm like we use like uhm Linux for the servers"
"ah, and? Works well?"
"uhm well uhm yeah ehh yeah works uhm pretty..... Pretty ehhhhhh good 😅. It appears to eh work.... Like uhm very good for servers after all..."
Hearing that coming out of his mouth....
Damn!1 -
Newspaper: This CEO is one of the top entrepreneurs in the country, a true tech visionary shaping the future.
--- 3 months previous ---
Lead dev: O2 have said they are will pre-install the app on all their Androids but they need documentation from us.
CEO: documentation? on what?
Lead dev: Our unit test coverage, bugs found / fixed, security scan results, performance assessment, if and where its storing any data etc.
CEO: Ah were not doing any of that crap, bloody unit tests, its not necessary, tell them no.
lead dev: ..... eh ok
O2: *approved*
... true visionary, well done to everyone involved.3 -
Interviewer: "Hi, we are searching for a junior frontend dev with 1 year of experience and strong skills with Angular".
Me: "I have never used Angular before but I have 4 years of experience, It's not a problem for me to study it and use it quickly".
Interviewer: "Eh no, we are searching for someone with very strong Angular skills".
Me: "That's fine, but sorry how can a junior dev with just 1 year of experience have already strong skills with Angular? He must have also strong skills with JavaScript in general and It's quite impossible".
Interviewer: "Ehh... ehm.... ehmm..."11 -
Me: "Delete this folder"
Windows: "Oki, done."
Me: "How is it still there, F5. Still there! Hey, you forgot to delete this one file. Fix it."
Windows: "Nope."
Me: "Why?"
Windows: "Requires permissions."
Me: "Eh, it was my file, but here you are, my admin credentials."
Windows: "None shall pass."
Me: "Wtf, this is my computer. Who owns this file?"
Windows: "No one."
Me: "What do you mean? Oh, time for your reboot pills, ms. Wandows."
Windows: "Noooooo... ... ... Welcome."
Me: "Ha, the file is gone. Glorious victory."
Windows: "It's just a flash wound."
Credit for style: https://mobile.twitter.com/cmurator...4 -
Remote manager: Hey, that contractor you are working with that sits with me. We are thinking of sending him over to you guys, get him a visa, pay relocation and all that stuff and have him sit with you guys as a full time employee. What do you think?
Me: .... eh ... look I have to be honest, that guy is awful. He doesn't listen to me, constantly working on other things, and the architecture he forced onto the rest of the team is some of the worst i've ever seen.
RM: hhhmmmm, ok but what if we have him report to you, can you whip him into shape?
Me: Honestly I think theres too much effort involved. We are very short staffed. I'd prefer to hire someone else here who has more experience. Its a firm no from us on this guy.
RM: Ok, understood, thanks.
*2 weeks later*
Contractor: Hey guys, was chatting to my manager last week and he said the company is finally looking to convert me to a full time employee, and best of all he wants to move me over to sit with you guys. Isn't that great?
..... not really no7 -
"yes, sir, we block ftp and ssh connections from outside the benelux (shortcut for: belgium/netherlands/luxembourg, didn't say this part but it's a very widely known term here)"
"if you allow connections from INSIDE the benelux, why can't I connect from Germany, eh?!?!"
💀😶14 -
Designer: Need to file a bug, I'm not getting an option to login with FaceID
Me: Oh weird bug. Is it setup on the phone you are testing with?
Designer: yes, use it in all other apps
Me: Did you get an error during onboarding on the FaceID screen?
Designer: nope no error
Me: ..... hhhmm, can you show me your settings?
Me: ... eh, says you have FaceID disabled for this app ... did you click "No" to FaceID during onboarding?
Designer: Yes, to test edge cases
Me: ................ ok ........ if you setup the app and told it to not allow FaceID to login ......... you won't get the ability to use FaceID to login .......... like .... by design .... on purpose ...... cause .... you told it to do that
Designer: No no, it needs to have a setting on the login screen to allow me to turn that back on incase I forget my passcode
Me: the fuck it does. Yeah we can't have anything on the login page that says, without authorization, change my settings
*Deep breath*
Me: Remember we had this conversation previously, where you didn't want the user to create a passcode during onboarding as it was too much friction, and wanted to do FaceID only. With your backup plan being to allow the user to create a NEW passcode on the login screen if FaceID failed .... remember that discussion we had about security? ... and how its important? ... and that we like having any? Ok so its the same reason as that, just with a different setting this time
Designer: ... hhmm i'm not sure I like this
Me: ... tough luck then, not happening
Me: oh and btw, remember we had that other talk about reproduction steps for bugs? Like when the app crashed and you told me it was because its in light mode, and nothing else at all? So disabling FaceID, is very relevant info to the problem of "I can't login with FaceID", please tell me these things first11 -
Story time! Promised this, so making good on the promise. Eh-hem.
Misunderstandings [A slice of life short play that actually happened]
Dramatis Personae (anonymized, bc of course):
Moi ........ me, myself and possibly some lint
Robert ..... co-architect
Daisy ...... line dev
Lisa ....... also line dev
Prologue: the beginninning
[A project is starting up, new devs are coming on, including the two individuals who drive this story.
Daisy, of Indian origin, an exceptional dev and lovely person. Mother, wife, very conservative by upbringing in her early 40s.
Lisa, also exceptional dev, lovely person. Mother, also wife, self-made immigrant with liberal views derived from personal pride and self-bootstrapping]
Enter the office, We introduce everyone, off to a nice start, everyone is happy and excited to be working on [large bank project].
Lisa and Daisy form a friendship of commonality, they have similar backgrounds by all appearances and similar concerns due to children the same age and shared employment. They seem to become fast friends and things proceed normally for some months. Smooth sailing, all is well.
The fuse is lit.
Scene: Lunchtime gossip
[Robert, middle 40s architect adjacent Moi, also architect, age is my own damn business [old, so very old].]
Robert: "So, it seems like Daisy and Lisa are getting along great."
Moi: *snerfs a little, almost chokes on enchilada* Yes, yes they are, It's nice to see...
Robert: *eyebrow, having learned to read my expressions* "Aaaaaaand..."
Moi: "I adore both of them, but they are primarily friends because they don't actually understand most of what the other says"
[Lisa has a thick Taiwanese accent, Daisy has a standard northern indian accent. Never the two shall meet]
Robert: "Are you sure, they seem to have a lot of conversations?"
Moi: "Positive, you weren't at lunch with the three of us. They're polar opposite in terms of values, it'll be fine so long as that never comes up"
Robert: "I'm not even digging into that"
Moi: *flan*
Sizzle.
Scene: This is bat country
[More months pass, everything is fine, project is humming along nicely, save a few blips of personality conflicts. Moi takes a vacation. A gas station, somewhere in the middle of Wyoming, a snowstorm, a sports car full of luggage]
*phone rings*
Moi: *looks down, sees it's Robert, eyebrow raises, answer* What's on fire?
Robert: "We had to let Lisa go"
Moi: "Ah, they finally understood each other."
Robert: "Yes..." *deep sigh*
[Fade to flashback]
Bang.
Scene: The office, Lisa's desk
[Daisy and Lisa are discussing non-descript conversation. Daisy broaches the subject of Lisa's past divorce and being a single mother]
Daisy: "It must have been hard, how did you manage?"
Lisa: "I had my daughter, she was my motivation. We made it here, I met my current partner"
Daisy: "That's good! It is so hard, coming to something new. I could never imagine leaving my husband."
Lisa: "He left us, we weren't important, I don't want to marry every again"
Daisy: "Surely you do though? Marriage is great for a woman, my parents found a great husband for me."
Lisa: "Haha, lucky you. Most indian marriage is like prostitution."
[At this moment, Daisy's demeanor takes a nose dive. Whatever was actually said, what she heard was, "Indian marriage is prostitution"]
Daisy: *tears begin pouring down her face, she flings herself back in her chair, head shaking violently she screams* "I AM AN HONORABLE WOMAN!"
[Daisy runs out of the room, straight to HR. Lisa sits there, stunned, not really understanding what just happened or the consequences]
Scene: Back in bat country
[Robert finishes the story, the emotions are a mixture of hilarity at the absurdity of the situation and frustration in the work void it has created]
Moi: "Satan, well. Fuck me. Fuck us. Fuck. Is Daisy alright, is she at least staying? We can't lose two devs at the same time."
Robert: "She got a few days off, she seems fine now, but she's... yeah, I never laughed so hard"
Moi: *double facepalm* "Yeah, the word choice was a bit outrageous. It's not like we didn't know it was coming. I'm going to get back on the road."
Robert: "Alright, enjoy yourself, I'll try and prevent any other forest fires."19 -
So I was at work and send to another location (distribution centers) and in the lunch break my guider for that day and I started a conversation about servers etc (he appeared to do loads of stuff with that). He recommended me all those programs but I didn't recognize anything so I asked him what kinda servers he ran. He runs a lot of Windows servers. No problem for me but I told him that I am into Linux servers myself.
Guy: "Linux guy, eh? That system is considered to be so secure but in reality it's insecure as fuck!".
Me: (If he would come up with real/good arguments I am not going to argue against that by the way!) Uhm howso/why would you think that?
Guy: "Well all those script kiddies being able to execute code on your system doesn't seem that secure.".
*me thinking: okay hold on, let's ask for an explanation as that doesn't make any fucking sense 😐*
Me: "Uhm how do you mean, could you elaborate on that?"
Guy: "Well since it's open source it allows anyone to run any shit on your system that they'd like. That's why windows rocks, it doesn't let outsiders execute bad code on it.".
Seriously I am wondering where the hell he heard that. My face at that moment (internally, I didn't want to start a heated discussion): 😐 😲.
Yeah that was one weird conversation and look on open source operating systems...21 -
8:50am aight alarm clock, give me 5 more minutes
8:55am ok lets round it to 9, wake me up then
9:00am aight enough. lets just sleep for 1 more minute since 9:00 is too round
9:43am fuck
9:44am ok its time to finally study for the upcoming college exam
9:45am nothing but a fresh day to start studying for college
9:46am eh i dont have a lot to study so I'll do it in 2pm, I'll code my project instead
2pm hold on 5 more minutes until i finish coding this feature and then I'll study
5pm where the fuck is this bug coming from
5:504pm goddamn i found it
6:36pm holy shit its already over 6pm, I'll study at night
7:42pm ok its night now, time to study but I'll do it when i fix all bugs
8:14pm ok bugs fixed, commit. lets study
8:15pm you know what, im way too tired and exhausted from this coding, I'll take a short 30 minute break and then I'll study
10:15pm ok im feeling fresh bois lets study now theres not too much
1:31am damn this movie was good
1:32am fuck i forgot to study, I'll do it tomorrow
2:10am *posts this rant*6 -
!!pointless story
Bug report comes in from a coworker. "Cloudinary uploads aren't working. I can't sign up new customers."
"I'll look into it" I say.
I go to one of our sites, and lo! No Cloudinary image loads. Well that can't be good.
I check out mobile app -- our only customer-facing platform. None of the images load! Multiple "Oops!" snackbars from 500 errors on every screen / after every action.
"None of our Cloudinary images load, even in the mobile app," I report.
Nobody seems to notice, but they're probably busy.
I go to log into the Cloudinary site, and realize I don't have the credentials.
"What are the Cloudinary credentials, @ceo?" I ask.
I'm met with more silence. I use this opportunity to look through the logs, try different URLs/transforms directly. Oddly, everything seems fine except on our site.
I check Slack again, and see nothing's changed, so I set about trying to guess the credentials.
Let's see... the ceo is basically illiterate when it come to tech, so it's probably not his email. It's a startup, and custom emails for things cost money, and haven't been a thing here forever, so it's probably oen of the CTO's email aliases. he likes dots and full names so that narrows it down. Now for the password.... his are always crappy (so they're "easy to remember") and usually have the abbreviated company name in them. He also likes adding numbers, generally two-digit numbers, and has a thing for 7s and 9s. Mix in some caps, spaces, order...
Took me a few minutes, but I managed to figured it out.
"Nevermind, I guessed them." I reported.
After getting into Cloudinary, I couldn't find anything amiss. Everything looked great. No outage warnings, metrics looked fine, images all loaded. Ex-cto didn't revoke payment or cancel the account.
I checked our app; everything started loading -- albeit slowly.
I checked the aforementioned site; after a few minutes, everything loaded there, too.
Not sure what else to do, and with everything appearing to work, I said "Fixed!" and closed the issue.
About 20 minutes later, the original person said "thanks" -- never did hear anything from the ceo. I've heard him chatting away in the other room the entire time.
Regardless, good thing for crappy passwords, eh?15 -
Just found a 1000kV arc generator on AliExpress.. huehue :v
1 megavolt? That's the usual voltage level on lightning bolts. And with air's breakdown voltage of ~15kV/cm (could differ depending on humidity), you'd need nearly a meter of distance between the prongs *and* be able to achieve an arc between that distance without having shit arc internally, before you could ever reach 1MV. Yet arc generators' prongs are usually within 1cm of each other. I'd give it 10kV at best.
Also, they're generating the voltage of a lightning bolt for €3.65 apparently.. way too good to be true. Even components able to handle 10kV are quite costly, and components having a breakdown voltage of over 1MV is completely unheard of. I'm gonna buy one of those puppies to see how the circuit is designed and to zap the shit out of those bloody mosquitos in here - the only women that love me :'( - but I wouldn't be surprised if it just boosts the output voltage up to whatever until it can arc and short out. Completely unregulated of course.. which is fine but eh, I doubt that any of those components are rated for 1MV so probably the regulation is in smoking components acting like fuses when the prongs are too wide apart :v
As for the purpose of this rant.. nothing in particular really. Perhaps it'll educate some, I don't know. Just wanted to put it out there :)
Also if you'd like to watch some video material about this, you may find ElectroBOOM's coverage interesting: https://youtube.com/watch/...29 -
"Microsoft should not need to buy github, the platform itself should be ran by a non profit org like wikipedia or linux."
Add a herp a derp at the end. It will probably make it sound less stupid or hypocritical.
Seriously though, how many of you mecos actually pay for shit? Eh? How many of you donate to your fav Linux distros or web platforms?
Lets say that the entire devrant base did :) pretty sweet eh? There are still 28 million developers on fucking github.....now how many of those contribute to help account for server costs etc? How many actually use private paid repos etc?
And without adds and shit? This ain't Facebook!!
It makes sense. I am glad they did... and fuck you I would too.
I will see what happens before I put on my (disgusting) Richard Stallman Hat.25 -
girl: Why is your laptop heavier than mine?
me: I have more files than yours
girl: oh! it's true, you and movies eh.
me: laughing inside... hehehe1 -
My team's program for the Coding Contest.
Seriously.
Need I say anything other than
List<KeyValuePair<int, KeyValuePair<int, ...>>>
and
var v = list.Key.Key.Key.Value
var w = list.Key.Key.Value
?
But eh, it worked for the contest, that code is never to be seen again haha11 -
A friendly reminder that Deutsche Bahn fucking sucks.
Their trains show up 10 minutes later than they would have to everyday.
Once I saw that there was a train that was 120+ minutes late.
Today I had to wait almost 20 minutes at a SINGLE train station. Thus I couldn't enter the next train.
To my luck the next train arrives in an hour.
EDIT:
As a student it makes my life way harder than it already is.
It is not reliable at all.
They charge you with 60€ if you forget your ticket btw.
I don't forget my ticket though. My ticket is my campus card.
Their tickets are fucking overpriced and they are always damn late. I ain't paying for that shit. I would rather ride with a horse to the university than paying for a ticket.
Second EDIT as an update:
They just announced that my next train is going to come 10 minutes later. What a bloody surprise, eh?28 -
Eh ehe hehe he eh ehehe
On top of burnout, codebase issues, spec issues, burnout, the product butt that keeps on crapping, burnout, burnout, loathing for my employer... My local Apple SSL cert expired. I can’t finish this and push it anywhere for testing. I can’t even run my own specs anymore. And I don’t have permissions to make a new one. I can’t do anything at all.
Ehe he hehe
Deadline is in two days, and I’m just sitting here laughing quietly to myself. I might finally be going crazy
I found a loose bit of tangle, started to pull, and the world decided it was time to fall apart. Reality said it’s time to go. And I wasn’t even a good screwdriver dev. Byeee ~random root’s mind says no specs say no ssl says no ehehe sanity says no product says more more more! codebase says no screwdriver says no 🤪 reality says no burnout says no12 -
Execs: “We know the business, we should do this”.
IT: Eh, data shows the opposite though...
Execs: We don’t need data, we just know.
IT: Dafaq!?2 -
One of my top 10 worst meetings, was for an interview for a job I really wanted. The guy started off the technical interview by asking me about language features that had been replaced since before I started learning the language. Told him when I started learning and his reply was:
"Yeah I see that on your CV, but come on, you MUST know this stuff".
eh no asshole, because its been removed for 4 years, you MUST know its not relevant10 -
{Context: English is not my native language}
The first time my code get a review ( by my boss that time)
Boss: Your code is full of butts 🍑
Me: Eh, What?
Boss: *showing his screen* see that? variables names: validateButt, contactButt, seeMoreButt..
Me: *interrupting him* oh, I mean button.
Boss: I know, just being sarcastic, but it'll be better to get another suffix.
Me: 😐11 -
I eh... was once munching on nutela straight from the jar while on a call only realised arpund 10 mins into the call that my camera was on and everyone could could see me eating straight from the jar (without a spoon)8
-
"This is incredibly unprofessional. You need to give at least 2 weeks notice like any other company that you work for" - Hiring manager to me after I said I couldn't come in today to the office.
Background for y'all:
1. I did a 2-day interview process and I never received news from HR that I got hired
2. I followed up today with HR and only then did they tell me in WhatsApp "Oh well you're hired"
3. HR didn't go into details about the contract, I was the one who proactively asked about it and HR just said "Oh I will send you your contract tomorrow and all the details."
4. Ergo, no contract has been signed TODAY and I have not gone through it and above all, I haven't accepted the offer yet
I gave the company a notice 30 minutes after thinking this through and said I won't come in today and made up a story (that I accepted another offer but really come on that's already a red flag - asking somebody to come in without a signed contract hey I'm not working for free)
Hiring manager said the above plus "I understand there's no contract yet but we're short on the team now so you should be on the train to come here"
No. I'm not obliged to do a 2 weeks notice when I do not have any contract binding me to this. You should appreciate I gave a notice instead of not showing up. Please tell me how professional your company is when internally your hiring team doesn't communicate with the hiring manager and you don't know the hiring laws of the country???
Eh fuck it, it's a 1 hr 41 minutes commute anyway if I ever did accept their offer.8 -
Yesterday (or the day before that depending on your timezone and day-night schedule - this Friday) my OnePlus 6T arrived. After only 2 days of time between placing the order and actually getting the phone, quite impressive!
The DHL guy asked me upon receipt - is it the OnePlus 6T? - Yes it is!! - "An amazing device it is!", he said. And honestly.. he couldn't be more right.
I might be a bit biased on this because after all I did just spend €630 on this phone. But it feels so snappy, high quality, the 8GB of RAM is just.. it blows my mind. But I'm sure that the other reviews did this sort of jazz already.
The things that set this phone apart for me though were the following.
When I get a new phone or tablet, usually the first thing I do is rooting it. This one was no different, about an hour after receipt it was successfully rooted and loaded with Magisk. Currently I'm still in the phase of "getting to know the phone", wherein fuckups are usual. This time again being no different - I removed some apps and apparently did something to it that the search engines - both Google and DuckDuckGo - didn't quite like, as both of them would crash upon application launch. Me in full panic mode of course, desperately trying to find the stock ROM (which doesn't seem to be present in its usual form) or a new set of GApps (which didn't resolve the issue). OnePlus does seem to offer its OTA updates in zip archives though. So I downloaded its latest update (same as what was on the device) and applied it.
That's when the nerdgasm happened.
The "update" was simply a matter of going into the settings, tapping this and that and applying the update. No recovery, no unrooting, no nothing. The update just went like that despite the phone being rooted and just having had TWRP flashed to it. I always wanted this sort of thing, which even the Nexus couldn't offer - having the cake and eating it too. Being able to root the device and muck around with it while still being able to update the device timely without too many hurdles. This fucking thing does it!!!
That is to say, after my initial nerdgasm I did find that it bulldozed over my su binary (effectively unrooting the thing), custom emoji I've set (iOS 12 because fuck Google's most recent emoji set) and some other things. But those are easy to install back, much more so than it would've been to download a whole Android release and dirty flash it, as it was on the Nexus.
Other than that, battery life, dash charging (edit: on that topic, it does remain cool like a cucumber despite getting 15-20W of power jammed into it, quite impressive!), snappiness, the usual jazz.. eh, as I said earlier that's the usual reviewer stuff. But this feature of being able to upgrade the phone while it's modified, that's something which seems to be severely underrated by those.
Oh and during kernel builds, I couldn't quite get the source to work - probably due to my lack of experience with builds of Android kernels - but I did find that this phone actually exposes its kernel config through /proc/config.gz as it should. None of my MediaTek devices do this, so that's something that I found really appealing. Always nice to see when a manufacturer exposes this information to give you a stock sort of config that you can be rest assured will work configuration-wise. And it allows you to see what the stock kernel is actually built with, which again is really nice. I quite like this! It really encourages further development.11 -
Boss: We need health data for this iOS app.
Me: Cool, so we'll use apples HealthKit.
Boss: No that requires the user agrees to it.
Me: ... well yeah ... its private data.
Boss: No we need it to work regardless. If the user says no to HealthKit, just give them textfields for all the metrics HealthKit has and they can enter manually.
Me: .... but ... eh ....
Boss: and we'll partner with some companies and support their devices.
Me: ... see, the thing is ...
Boss: We also need to store it locally and then sync it to the cloud app. What do you think?
Me: ... ... ... no2 -
*sees a hint suggestion in Netbeans*
*Alt + Enter*
"Hmm, makes sense. "
*Chooses suggestion but error line still pertains*
"Eh...."
*Alt + Enter confusingly*
*sees a suggestion that changes everything back to original*
TFW IDE plays with you more than your girlfriend :(4 -
We are on a roll here people (side note, if You are joining the site, thank you but if you are using disposable email accounts at least wait for the verification code to arrive to said account):
So our most well know and belowed CMS that brings lots of love and feels to those that have to (still) deal with it, had some interesting going on:
Oh Joy! "Backdoor in Captcha Plugin Affects 300K WordPress Sites", well arent You a really naughty little boy, eh?
https://wordfence.com/blog/2017/...
Remember that "little" miner thingy that some users here has thought about using for their site? Even Yours truly that does make use of Ads Networks (fuck you bandwidth is not free) even I have fully condenmed the Miner type ads for alot of reasons, like your computer being used as a literal node for DDoSing, well... how about your "Antivirus" Android phone apps being literally loaded with miner trojans too?
https://securelist.com/jack-of-all-...
"When You literally stopped giving any resembles of a fuck what people think about Your massive conglomerate since You still literally dominate the market since alot of people give zero fucks of how Orwellian We are becoming at neck-breaking speed" aka Google doesnt want other webbrowsers to get into market, Its happy with having MemeFox as its competitor:
https://theregister.co.uk/2017/12/...
Talking about MemeFox fucking up again:
https://theregister.co.uk/2017/12/...
And of course here at Legion Front we cant make finish a report without our shitting at Amazon news report:
"French gov files €10m complaint: Claims Amazon abused dominance
Probe found unfair contracts for sellers"
More News at:
https://legionfront.me/page/news
And for what you may actually came and not me reporting stuff at Legion's Orwell Hour News™ ... the free games, right?:
Oxenfree is free in GoG, its a good game, I played like 2 months after its release and I think I heard they wanted to make a Live Action movie or some sort of thing after it:
https://www.gog.com/game/oxenfree
Kingdom Classic is also free:
http://store.steampowered.com/app/...
Close Order Steam Key: HWRMI-2V3PQ-ZQX8B
More Free Keys at:
https://legionfront.me/ccgr4 -
Have you ever felt that you're being overrated by your employer ?
For our front end projects we use Cloud9 IDE
Now the business have around 100k+ files.
So Cloud9 is becoming slower and slower with every new project created.
So I was tasked to build a code editor where a new instance of that code editor will be created per project ( so, the new editor doesn't need to handle a huge file tree), so I "git clone" ACE editor and add to it GoldenLayout.js , FancyTree.js and some other plugins.
Now they think I'm a genius, and I'm like ... Eh? Should I tell them.. ? Will it backfire later ?
I kinda like the feeling.
What's the best thing to do in this case?3 -
I got a crap raise — lowest I’ve ever gotten anywhere, and well below inflation — despite busting my butt, having somewhat better health and therefore productivity, etc.
I complained to my boss about it, and said it was insulting. He said that direct managers have zero say in raises, and instead it’s entirely up to execs and HR. Makes sense, since nothing makes sense at this company.
Anyway, he apparently talked to his boss, who talked with his boss, who talked with the execs and HR, and they decided to give me a raise on my raise, a whole $1k/year more, all the way back up to the usual insultingly-low 3%. Yay.
Their reasoning?
“Money is tight.”
The last all-hands?
“Record profits! Record sales! Record numbers across the board! And most of all: record profits! Give yourselves a round of applause for making this all possible!”
Money is tight, eh?
I hope they get smushed by a meteor, given a snuggle-struggle by a roving Somali gang, or kept warm for the rest of their lives by another Hawaiian/Californian wildfire.14 -
Me: Right, its Monday, time for a fresh start. Things have been unbearable, but i've nowhere else to go just yet. I gotta just dig deep, ignore everything bad and just get it done, It's all about positivity right? Lets just ignore the little things and keep moving.
*My morning so far, 2 hours in*
Remote dev: (timezone 5 hours earlier than me) Hey so whats the plan for this quarter?
Me: ... I posted a big detailed plan in the group chat on Friday night so you wouldn't be delayed ... but anyway, lets just move on. I need you to work on A, B and C. A is just copying what Android has already done, for B one of the backend guys working next to you is doing this, he'll be able to help you. C is all documented in the ticket.
Remote dev: cool thanks.
Local dev: So I was just chatting with remote dev ... yeah he told me he has no idea what he's suppose to do.
Me: ..... Ok i'll book a video call with him in the morning. Can't do it right now.
==========
Remote dev: Hey i'm helping the BE team do some testing. I found a bug in Android. Homepage says theres no trips. But Offers screen says there is.
Me: Ok so just to confirm, The "available" offers screen has offers to accept, but the white notification on the homepage saying "You have X offers to accept" is not showing up?
Remote dev: Correct!
*debugging for 5 mins*
Remote dev: actually no, the "accepted" offers tab has offers, but the homepage says there are no upcoming offers to work on.
Me: ..... ok, thats very different ... but sure, let me have a look.
Me: Right so the BE are ... again ... sending down expired offers. Looks like the accepted tab isn't catching it and the homepage is.
Remote dev: Right i'll open a ticket for Android.
Me: ... and BE team.
Remote dev: why?
Me: ... because they once again have timezone issues. This keeps causing issues in random places. BE need to fix this everywhere.
Remote dev: right, i'll chat to them and see if they can fix it.
==========
Product: So this ticket xxxxx is clear right?
Me: eh, kind of, so you want us to add feature X to user type A?
Product: correct.
Me: right but I don't see anywhere talking about the time it will take to build the screen for feature X
Product: What do you mean the screen?
Me: ... well, feature X is only accessible on screen Y ... we would have to change screen Y to support user type A ... you know ... so they can ... use the feature
Product: .... hhhhmmm .... i suppose you are right. Well we can't just add screen Y, we'll have to add W and Z, it won't make sense without them.
Me: ... ok sure, but our estimates put us over for this quarter. I don't think we can just add in 3 screens.
Product: No this is a must have.
Me: Ok so we'll have to drop something else.
Product: hhhmmm, don't think we can ... let me get back to you.
==========
Backend team invited me to a meeting at 6am my time on Friday.
==========
... 2 hours into Monday ... there must be vodka around here somewhere -
I did a job interview recently for a company and the test was something like this.
In ruby, write a web server that will serve a specific line number from a text file.
I thought up a simple solution and a more advanced solution, but I opted to go with the simple solution and submit my work quickly. I made a nice web server with tests and everything and it used the sed command to get the line number from the file.
Now, they had various instructions, like it had to perform. They asked how it'd perform with 10G, 100G files. I thought "Eh... it'll be alright."
The solution they were looking for was the "advanced" solution that I thought up, which involved storing a binary file of 32/64 bit integers that reference the byte-offset of the line they're looking for. Basically a binary index file.
This violates all of my sensibilities, because I would never build a database indexer like this using ruby, of all things.
I thought it was a stupid test, and how do these companies honestly expect me to spend hours coding and then tell me I didn't go far enough? It's unethical.
I actually followed-up with the "advanced" solution a couple hours after hearing I was out, just to show them that their process is flawed.2 -
I fucking hate holidays. Every goddamn time when it's a holiday, that's when I need to go to the store and get something, only to find out that they're closed. And what for.. holidays are - to me at least - no more than an excuse for people to not go to work for the day.
So, now I ran out of booze, and can't continue developing and testing my breathalyzer until Monday.
Then it hit me.. what if I take all my Arduino equipment (laptop, jumper wires, ...) to the café and deploy my build environment on a table there?
Eh, no no no. I don't want some idiot to come up to me saying "YOU EVIL HEKORMAN!!!" and have to explain that just like when you call a banker who's working with the money vaults a thief, it's wrong to call someone that's developing shit an evil hacker.. one should strive to not throw mindless accusations out of unknowingness. Not that I'm a good example of that though. But still.
It's probably that or some stupid bitch coming up to me asking to hack her boyfriend's Phasebuk.. that said, that could probably be an opportunity to get in her pants. But then, I don't wanna insert my meat in an idiot like that... ._.
So, no booze it is then? Thanks national holidays!
"Ok Google, remind me every day before a holiday because I really couldn't care less about them!!"16 -
Was talking to a woman who recently found her lost phone.
After talking about apps which track your phone I asked her if she had an iPhone or an Android.
Her response: "I've just got a Samsung eh"7 -
!dev
Just went to the pet asylum to look for a cat. There was a shy black one (eh, maybe not a good first but Moar Blacker, Moar Better 😋) and a black and white one which was very open towards me.
Probably I'll get the latter, and build some food, water and litter dispenser systems for it with motors and my esp8266 boards 🙂
The lady who was volunteering there and showed me around had an interesting story though.
Apparently both of those aforementioned cats were wild cats (so they don't come from a proper household or anything). Except that black and white one which apparently came from some rather retarded people.. think average Facebook user.
According to her those previous owners came there with 2 cats including the black and white one as "extremely wild, we found them in the forest, put them in cages (because everyone carries cat cages in their car every day, right?) and brought them here". Nice excuse for average Facebook user level of retard I have to say 😜 but it's not very waterproof, you know?
But on average the people that they get there are even worse than that.. some get a great initial meeting with a cat, but then leave them there because they don't like the stripes on a paw or something stupid like that. As she put it: "you're not fitting pants in a clothing shop, are you?! 😑"
Had to try hard to not burst out in laughter from that description 😂
Point is, the average customers there are awful.. apparently she was very grateful to have a rather down-to-earth customer like me and my home supervisor (who helpfully drove me there 🙂) for once. So terrible clients.. they're everywhere!
It really taught me to be mindful of the hardships of people in any profession who deal with clients.18 -
Some absolute cock-monkey fuck-nugget of a marketing director asked me the other week if I could implement a discount voucher system into a new side project / prototype we’re building.
I said ‘yeah sure but it’s a bit of a pain in the ass, i’ll have a look’
He said ‘you just let someone enter a code and that takes £10 off the total order value’
REALLY?!
IS THAT HOW IT WORKS?!!
THANKS FOR EXPLAINING THAT TO ME YOU FUCKING ASS-CUNT. BECAUSE I DIDN’T KNOW HOW A FUCKING DISCOUNT VOUCHER WORKED, YOU ABSOLUTE MOUTH BREATHING WASTE OF FUCKING ORGANS.
I’LL JUST GO TYPE THAT INTO MICROSOFT WORD AND SAVE THE FILE TO THE MAGICAL CLOUD SHALL I?
“dear computer, take a voucher code from a user and take £10 off of there order value”
THERE YOU GO YOU PRICK; JOB DONE. SOFTWARE ENGINEERING IS EASY, EH?!
Wank.6 -
Just finished making the interface for my app in WPF only to find out that it will be waaay harder to plug it to WPF than I thought.
In fact, it would be easier to just remake it from scratch in WPF - which I'm planning on doing when I get some free time.
Don't you just hate when that happens?
..eh, at least it looks somewhat good.8 -
Now realizing the whole "Fuck this shit, I'm gonna become a barista" was literally a midlife crisis.
Now, how do I find my way back to a brand new PhD application? Or a research job... Or a dev job... Honestly, I'd take whatever.
Side note, after weeks of being on my feet and working 6-8 hours a day, I have lost exactly zero kilos. This was a very bad idea. 🤦
So, I'm not the smartest, but at least now I have had two careers. How many of you can say that you've had two different careers in your life, eh?11 -
On reccomendation of @chabad360 I made this its own rant.
I switched from marketing to CS (complete with a three year degree, no Bootcamp). I still went to interviews as you'd expect a marketing man to go; in a suit. Commence the weirdest interview.
$I: interviewer
$M: Me
I: "You're not the typical engineer. Can you talk to real engineers?"
M: "could you elaborate"
I:"you're dressed in a suit. That leads me to think you're a MS user. Do you think you could talk to real, ie. Linux using engineers?"
M: " well, I haven't used windows in about a year soo..
I: "Mac isn't Linux."
M: "I'm aware. I've switched to Ubuntu so I could use KVM-QEMU android emulator with GPU pass through to train Deep Convolution Networks on mobile devices. Also had to compile Google's internal build tool because it had bugs I had to fix so I could compile the APK."
I: "ah, Ubuntu eh? **Insert Smirk** How about a follow-up?"
M: "no, I'm switching to Gentoo this week and would like to talk to real engineers about that."
I thanked him for the coffee and left.1 -
Breakup really kills the mood to work for a long time eh?
I have a multiplayer minesweeper project in the works. It's great, everything is super slick. Using SASS, Node.JS, MVC design, WebGL... It's a super great, modern project and I am very proud of it.
But I just can't continue it. I open my editor and I just ignore it. I play video games, go outside... Anything except code. It hurts to see myself do this.
I have some great designs for it. You're allowed to play anonymously or logged in. VS mode and everything.
I was going to share the discord link when I launched the alpha... But I think maybe I need to start building a community now so that I can gain my motivation back.
Before the breakup I worked on it daily. I was learning new technologies left and right (SASS being the largest, and WebGL is the next frontier)
It hurts to see. Today after I get off work maybe I will try harder.8 -
This morning there was this window cleaner again, that actually made me remember a rant from the old box - my previous account. Repost of that coming in an hour or so :3
Turns out that he came in the morning, and I completely forgot about it. The only appointment that I had today got canceled so I was like, eh fuck it. There's been this family event yesterday that made me so fucking tired... I'll just stay in bed for a little while longer.
Apparently that window cleaner ringed my bell multiple times, haven't heard him do it but anyway.. he and the cleaning lady had the genius idea to ask my landlord whether they can just barge in my home. Way to start the day, isn't it? I thought there were burglars.
In my bathrobe and visibly pissed off (I am NOT a morning person!), I let him do the window cleaning and waited for them to get the fuck out already. Then that cleaning lady, the fucking bitch that called my landlord to break into my home without MY prior permission!!! While the window cleaner was doing his work, she proceeds to ask me this.
Cleaning lady: "I had this technical issue earlier, and since you are good with phones I thought I'd ask you."
Me (thinking): oh, here it comes.. *rolling eyes*
M: "What's the issue?"
CL: "Well my stepson has an iPhone, which he broke and we brought it to a smartphone repair shop. They repaired it twice but an hour after receipt of the fixed phone, it breaks again."
M (t): You went wrong at iPhone, and you went wrong at visiting that incompetent mofo "teknishan" twice.
M: "Well I have no experience whatsoever with iPhones, but continue."
CL: "Well, he replaced the motherboard, and some pin at the bottom.."
M (t): The fucking motherboard of all things. The whole fucking motherboard?! The last thing that I'd look at, he just replaces like that?! Fucking piece of shit. That's even worse than Apple stores. And what's up with that goddamn pin? CAN'T YOU POSSIBLY BE A BIT MORE SPECIFIC?!
M: "Given only this information, I have no idea what's wrong with it."
CL: "But you are good with these things, aren't you?!"
M: "I disassemble my own broken phones, and dick around with their motherboards. That, while I'm fully aware that in the process I can break it beyond repair. That does not make me an expert on every phone out there."
CL: …
Well what did you even expect, fucking bitch. You barge into my home, don't even have the dignity to leave for me to be able to shower and dress myself, and then you go ask shit like that? Go suck my fucking cock, and shove that iPaperweight down your ass!! How about that?!9 -
Seriously, fuck that incompetent ISP of mine.
Stores passwords in fucking plaintext. Does VoIP calling in plaintext! Passwords are sent over postal mail! Passwords are at least not sent in plain via email anymore when you want to reset them. The password reset form, "cannot contain `", "cannot contain "", "cannot contain '", "must contain a special character" because why the fuck not mess with people's password manager's password generation function over our own incompetence, right?! And showing all those errors for a single password? Eh, no. Let's just show one error that applies to whatever password you've given at that time. JUST ONE, because "reasons"! And to top it all off, when I finally made myself a nice password with some padding to remove unwanted chars and put that in my password store and on the website. THE BLOODY THING CAN'T EVEN FUCKING LOGIN?!
Now I ain't no ISP, but being a sysadmin clearly isn't a requirement when you're going to apply for work at an ISP, THAT DOES NOTHING BUT FUCKING SYSADMIN STUFF!!! Incompetent pieces of SHIT!!!3 -
Got a new eval board. It came in with a stock firmware, had its own IP and naturally its own webGUI. I wanted to check what was under the hood. So I SSH'd in to the device, and was prompted to enter the username. There weren't any specs or documentation.
*Hmm, let's try root*
User: root
Password: *Eh? Well, what the heck* admin
.
.
.
root@evalboard#
Muhahaha!!! Meet your hacker, eval board!3 -
Q: Tell me what date types do you know.
A: Excuse me!? Date types?
Q: Eh, I see you didn't get it...12 -
"Eh, just push it to prod and see if anything breaks"
The entire system went down for hours, estimated loss north of $1M.5 -
2007 - Hey you, can you hack my gf's facebook account?
2017 - Eh! Can you hack my boss's Bitcoin account? 50-50 deal :-) -
NEW 6 Programming Language 2k16
1. Go
Golang Programming Language from Google
Let's start a list of six best new programming language and with Go or also known by the name of Golang, Go is an open source programming language and developed by three employees of Google and the launch in 2009, very cool just 3 people.
Go originated and developed from the popular programming languages such as C and Java, which offers the advantages of compact notation and aims to keep the code simple and easy to read / understand. Go language designers, Robert Griesemer, Rob Pike and Ken Thompson, revealed that the complexity of C ++ into their main motivation.
This simple programming language that we successfully completed the most tasks simply by librariesstandar luggage. Combining the speed of pemrogramandinamis languages such as Python and to handalan of C / C ++, Go be the best tools for building 'High Volume of distributed systems'.
You need to know also know, as expressed by the CTO Tokopedia namely Mas Leon, Tokopedia will switch to GO-lang as the main foundation of his system. Horrified not?
eh not watch? try deh see in the video below:
[Embedyt] http://youtube.com/watch/...]
2. Swift
Swift Programming Language from Apple
Apple launched a programming language Swift ago at WWDC 2014 as a successor to the Objective-C. Designed to be simple as it is, Swift focus on speed and security.
Furthermore, in December 2015, Swift Apple became open source under the Apache license. Since its launch, Swift won eye and the community is growing well and has become one of the programming languages 'hottest' in the world.
Learning Swift make sure you get a brighter future and provide the ability to develop applications for the iOS ecosystem Apple is so vast.
Also Read: What to do to become a full-stack Developer?
3. Rust
Rust Programming Language from Mozilla
Developed by Mozilla in 2014 and then, and in StackOverflow's 2016 survey to the developer, Rust was selected as the most preferred programming language.
Rust was developed as an alternative to C ++ for Mozilla itself, which is referred to as a programming language that focus on "performance, parallelisation, and memory safety".
Rust was created from scratch and implement a modern programming language design. Its own programming language supported very well by many developers out there and libraries.
4. Julia
Julia Programming Language
Julia programming language designed to help mathematicians and data scientist. Called "a complete high-level and dynamic programming solution for technical computing".
Julia is slowly but surely increasing in terms of users and the average growth doubles every nine months. In the future, she will be seen as one of the "most expensive skill" in the finance industry.
5. Hack
Hack Programming Language from Facebook
Hack is another programming language developed by Facebook in 2014.
Social networking giant Facebook Hack develop and gaungkan as the best of their success. Facebook even migrate the entire system developed with PHP to Hack
Facebook also released an open source version of the programming language as part of HHVM runtime platform.
6. Scala
Scala Programming Language
Scala programming termasukbahasa actually relatively long compared to other languages in our list now. While one view of this programming language is relatively difficult to learn, but from the time you invest to learn Scala will not end up sad and disappointing.
The features are so complex gives you the ability to perform better code structure and oriented performance. Based programming language OOP (Object oriented programming) and functional providing the ability to write code that is capable of evolving. Created with the goal to design a "better Java", Scala became one behasa programming that is so needed in large enterprises.3 -
I miss cigarettes.
Sometimes I am dying for a smoke.
This would happen to you after dealing with the web services of 2 campuses. Should have never stopped smoking eh?
Fuck11 -
Soooo I am guessing that if this year or the next is the downfall of fb then react is pretty much destined to die then eh?4
-
Interviewing intern today:
"What text editor do you use?"
"Notepadd, Word, I'm okay with anything."
"Like, Notepad++?"
"Eh... Notepad, I don't know about the ++."13 -
Goals for the next 100 weeks eh?
- Teach my 8yo and 11yo to be awesome java coders
- Take my 2yo to her first day at school
- Grow my department in work to over 40 people worldwide
- Start and finish my Masters degree in Big Data*
- Speak at 5 major international conferences (1000+ ppl)11 -
TL;DR you suck, I suck and everybody sucks, deal with it....
------------------------------------
Let me let off some steam, since I've had enough of people hating on languages "just because"
Every language has it's drawbacks and quirks, BUT they have their strengths also. Saying "I hate {language}" is just you being and ignorant prick and probably your head is so far up your ass that you look like an ass hat. With that being said, every language is either good or bad depending on the developer writing in it. Let's give you an example:
If I ware to give you a brick and ask you to put a nail in a plank, can you do it? Yes, it will be easier if you do it with a hammer, but you have a brick, so hammer is out of the question. If you hit your thumb while doing it... well... sorry, but it is not the bricks fault - it is YOU!
JavaScript, yes it has a whole lot of problems, but it works, you can do a ton of stuff and does a good job at that, it is evolving through node and typescript (and others, just a personal pref), BUT if you used js when you ware debugging that jquery (1.0) plugin written in the free time of a 13 yo, who copy pasted a bunch from SO, well, it is not js' problem - deal with it. Same goes for PHP, i've been there where you had a single `index.php` with bazillion lines of code, did a bunch of eval and it was called MVC, but it also is evolving.. thing is all languages allow you to do some dumb stuff so YOU have to be responsible to not fuck it up (which you always DO btw, we all do). Difference is PHP/JS roll with it because the assumption is that you know what you are doing, which again - newsflash - you don't.
More or less I would blame that shit on businesses which decided to go with undergrads to save money instead of investing in their product, hell, I am in a major company that does not invest that doesn't care a whole lot about dev /tech stuff and now everybody's mother is an engineer - they care about money, because investors care about money (ROI) and because clean code does not pay the bills, but money does.
If we get all of the good practices and apply them to each language every one of them has it's place, that is why there is no "The Language", even if there was, we STILL ware going to fuck it up and probably it was going to be even worse than where we are now.
Study, improve, rinse and repeat... There are SENIORS and LEADS out there that are about 25-30 and have no fucking clue about the language, because they have stuck up their heads up the ass of frameworks and refuse to take a breath of clean air and consider something different than their dogmatic framework "way" of doing things.. That is the result you are seeing. Let me give you a fresh example to illustrate where I am at atm:
Le me works with ZendFramework 2.3-2.5 (why not, which is PHP5+ running on PHP7 [fancy, eh]), and little me writes a module for said project, and tries to contain it in its own space, i.e not touching anything outside of the folder of the module so it is SELF-CONTAINED (see, practices), during 2-3-4 iterations of code review, I've had to modify 4 different modules with `if (somthing === self::SOMETHING_TYPE)` as requested by my TL, which resulted in me not covering 3 use-cases after the changes and not adding a new event (the fw is event-driven, cuz.. reasons) so I have to use a bunch of ifs in the code, to check a config value and do shit. That is the way of I am asked to do things I hate what I've done and the fact that because of CR I have lost case-coverage, a week of work and the same TL will be on my ass on monday that things are now "perfect".
The biggest things is "we care about convention and code style"... right.... That is not because of the language, not because of me, not because of the framework - it is some dude's opinion that you hate, not the language.
New stuff are better, reinventing the wheel is also good, if it wasn't you would've had a few stone circular things on your car and things ware going to be like that - we need to try and try, that is the only way we actually learn shit.
Until things change in the trade, we will be on the same boat, complaining about the same shit over and over, you and me won't be alive probably but things will not change a bit.
We live in a place where state is considered good, god objects necessary (can you believe it, I've got kudos for using the term 'God Object'... yep, let that sink in). If you really hate something, please, oh god I beg you, show me how you will do it better and I will shake your hand and buy you a beer, but until then, please keep your ass-hurt fanboy opinion to your self, no one gives a shit about what you think, we will die and the world will not notice...6 -
My work is LITERALLY cock blocking me.
My wife and I scheduled a lunch 'date' at 12:30. At 12:10, I foolishly thought "Eh I'll check in my changes, I'm 95% sure everything will be fine". Wouldn't you know it, after compiling for 7 minutes, the build server throws an error complaining about package compatibility, which locally is just a warning. Now I have to babysit the good damn build.
I seriously thought about bolting and just dealing with it after lunch, but I'm a good little developer.3 -
Me: eh probably shouldn’t push to prod on Friday, maybe not even before the first...
Co worker: no balls
Me: -
I had a project where I completely suprised the client and the company within the beginning. It was silky smooth, working on multiplatform ios android,standalone. I wrote the most complex shader I ever made. Everything was great and I even got a bonus for the project.
Then one day. Videos started to stutter. Not playing, completely black on some cases and some devices.
I started to think about reasons. I tried every solution I come up with. No success.
Updated all the codecs, middleware still nothing. Tried to solve the problem for a week. It was a total diaaster and I even thought I a dont deserve to be a developer.
We encoded the videos a few times. Decided to export the original video again, boom! It worked. Theres no particular reason why it worked. But it worked. I guess I am a good developer. Not the best but, eh. -
Taking a database class, prof insists on using Microsoft Sql server 2014. "Okay cool" said the Microsoft surface fan boy inside me as I installed it. "Holy shit this is using 6 fucking GBs?? Eh it's okay I trust" again said my Microsoft fanboy self. Finished installing, makes queries and it works. Cool.
Go to run Sql server again next day and get an error (nothing displayed, just a box pop up and then a crash) I use some Google skills. Change a bunch of shit and still it persists. "Just uninstall it and reinstall again" says my prof. I do so except random errors during installation saying Sql already exists even though I just uninstalled it. "Maybe it's some registry keys messing with it!" do some digging, remove unneeded registry keys and try again. Installation finished but a whack of features say failed to install.
I sit and try to work this shit out for the next four hours (not paying attention to my class) and still can't get Sql to completely uninstall itself. I try iobit uninstaller, command line uninstalling, fucking everything but still not working. Slowly my fanboy side is wishing that the windows symbol on the back of my machine was an apple.
I ended up having to backup all my files and reinstalling windows to get it working properly. Holy sweet fuck. The worst part is when this class is done ill probably need to reinstall yet again to save the 6gb it's sucking up. So if you're not sure whether you need something as heavy as Microsoft Sql server or not for your application, don't use it! It's a fucking virus that is super difficult to remove.
Tldr: life long Microsoft fanboy becomes apple convert in a day of using Microsoft Sql server.9 -
Dear Depression Diary;
Didn't do jackshit today either.
Daydreamed about prince charming, but apparently my prince charming has been dealing with lots of trauma. Eh. It takes two to tango.
The "motivation letter" for uni has not been written yet, and I have serious doubts about writing it.4 -
2 things I'm working on now:
#1 a personal project I am hoping to commercialize and turn it into my moneymaker. Hoping it'd at least be enough to pay the bills and put food on my table so I could forget 9/5 for good. But it has a potential of becoming a much, MUCH bigger thing. This would need the right twist tho, and I'm not sure if I am "the right twister" :) We'll see.
#2 smth I'm thinking of opensourcing once finished -- a new form of TLS. This model could be unbreakable by even quantum computing once it's mature enough to crack conventional TLS. I'm probably gonna use md5 or smth even weakier - I'm leveraging the weakness of hashing functions to make my tool stronger :)
I mean how long can we be racing with more powerful computers, eh? Why not use our weakneses to make them our strengths?
Unittests are already passing, I just haven't polished all the corner-cases and haven't worked out a small piece of the initialization process yet. But it's very close6 -
Well on my last full-time job, that ware using cookies for authentication (not something new, eh?). The thing is, you see, the cookies had the 'accountId' which if you change to another number, kaboom you're that account, oh but that was not all, there was an option to mark the account type in there 'accountType', which was kind of obvious in VLE (virtual learning environment), 'Teacher', 'Student', 'Manager' put what of those values and boom you are that role for the session
Thing was open of SQL injection from the login form, from said cookies and form every part you can pass input to it, when I raised the question to my TL he said 'no one is going to know about thatt, I don't see what is the problem', then escalated to higher management 'oh well speak to *tl_guy*'
Oh and bonus points for it being written in ASP CLASSIC in 2014+ (I was supposed to rewrite, but ended up patching ASP code and writing components in PHP)
In 2015-2016, in a private college, charging kind-of big money per year1 -
//Random Mr. Robot thought//
So this picture and this quote in general has been in my mind quite recently. The first time I saw this scene it just passed through my mind as just a wierd quirk of elliot. But upon further thinking, I question that given Elliot is someone who specializes in network security in a sense. A part of which focuses on finding exploits in networks or even software in general( basically finding the worst in them). And the more I think about that,the more I come to realisation that just like most programmers mix together logic in their life in dealing with people, this scene stands out as an example of just that happening with Elliot and what perhaps, makes him such a good hacker. Perhaps we could all learn from this, or perhaps I'm just looking too much into this. Eh.4 -
I accidentally created something adorable. See, what happened was I wanted to figure out how to programmatically create blobcats for different countries, since I’d done it by hand for every country represented at my company and wanted a quick way to catch up once we add people from different countries.
Enter Cloudinary!
Wrote a transform that would take the image, shrink it to 150 px wide, then add the blobcat emoji as the underlayer behind and above it, then add the little arms I drew die holding the flag on top.
And that worked! I had a folder of flags and the frontend could query them using the transformations and the country blobcats were born! I even added a preset so I could view the little blobcats with their flags when I looked at the uploaded flags
But then I’m like “Eh, each transform adds a thing against my limit and I really don’t want to go over if this gets popular (why do I ever think _that’s_ a possibility?). I know! I’ll just add the transform on upload and reupload all the flags to a different folder! Then I’ll just need to request the image instead of having to do the transform per request.
And that worked!
But I forgot I still had my preset transform on.
So in addition to the successful country blobcat, I had a preview of what I like to call papa blobcat with kitten blobcat.4 -
!rant
Hmmmm they are selling some used dell precission t3500 desktops at work.
Intel Xeon, 8 gb ram, windows 7 for $60 bucks. Thinking about using it as an experimental Linux machine.
Yay or nay? What do y'all think? For $60 it certainly does not sound too bad eh?11 -
Me: Ah, just have to finish this one small feature today and this whole massive update is done. Everyone will be off my back, things will calm down. Gonna be great.
Life: hey man, you know what I was thinking? It’s been a really long time since you had one of those vomiting bugs ... you know the gut wrenching, massive headache, can’t do anything but stare at the walls kind of flu’s?
Me: ...... eh I’m ok thanks.
Life: oh buddy you don’t understand ...... RUN!!!2 -
We've all had shitty jobs at one point or another, maybe some of us already had software engineering experience while having to work in a different field for a variety of reasons.
Well check this shit.
At one point(during my second year of school) for various reasons I had to work in retail. For those that know, retail can be a soul crushing experience...the trick is not letting management to convince you that it is an actual good job, it is not, and I have respect and sympathy for everyone currently working in it. The mind numbing retarded customers that we get are absolutely fantastic in every sense of the word.
My position in retail was as a phone salesman, for MetroPCS (which for all of y'all european ninjas is one of the low end phone carriers here in the U.S) and the people that we get as customers where I live are normally very poor which apparently in Mexican culture stands for annoyingly ignorant (I am Mexican myself, so I can really vouch for this shit)
One day a customer came in telling me that there was an app that he was using that kept giving him troubles, it was a map application for truck drivers. Now, obviously, this had nothing to do with my line of work(phone salesman) and as such I normally tried to explain that and let them be, but I imagined that it was a settings issue so I reluctantly agreed to help him. I explained to him that the app was no longer maintained and that the reason for it was probably that the developer abandoned it and that he would just have to look into the app, upon closer inspection the app itself was nothing more than a wrapper over google maps with trucker icons and a "trucker" interface, he was using the app as a GPS navigator and he could as well just have been using google maps.
The conversation was like this:
Me: Well this app is no longer supported, it will probably be taken off the google store soon, you can look for something similar or just change to Google maps
Retard: What? no! I came here in order for you to fix it, Metro needs to fix their own apps!
Me (in complete disbelief): We have no control over third party apps, and even for the ones that we provide the store has no control over them. But this app is not ours and so we can't really do anything about it.
Retard: Well WTF should I do? I have been having many issues with youtube and spotify, shouldn't Metro fix their Google store?
Me: Those apps are not ours.....wait, you seem to believe that we own youtube and spotify, those are not ours
Retard: How the fuck they are not yours! its your phone isn't it?
Me: Eh no.....Metro does not(at this point I was sort of smiling because I wanted to laugh) own youtube or spotify or the play store or even this phone, metro does not own Android or Samsung(his phone was a samsung core prime)
Retard: Well You need to fix this
Me: No I do not and I can not, the developer for this app abandoned it and has nothing to do with us
Retard: Well call the developer and tell him to fix it
At this point I was on a very bad mode since this dude was being obnoxiously rude from the beginning and it annoyed me how he was asking for dumb shit.
Me: Did you pay for this app?
Retard: No
Me: So you expect that some developer out there will just go about and get working for something that you did not pay for?
Why don't you just use Google maps as your GPS?
Retard: Don't be stupid, Google has no maps
At this point I show him the screen where there is a lil app that said maps, pressed it and voila! map comes to life
Retard: Well....I did not know
Me: Yeah....but I am the stupid one right?
** throws phone for him to catch
Me: Have a good one bud.
And my manager was right next to me, he was just trying to control his laughter the whole time. I really despised working in there and was glad when I left. Retail man.......such a horrible fucking world.7 -
>Gets a new CPU for desktop (yay, went from R5 1600 to R5 3600X)
>Spends half a day flashing new MB BIOS (Needed to flash individual major versions in order, couldn't just go 1.10 to 6.40)
>Finally finishes preparations and goes to replace the CPU
>Cleans the old one and packages it to give it to a friend
>Has issues inserting the new one as the orientation arrow on the motherboard was very hard to make out
>Spends 30 minutes applying thermal paste, worrying about optimal spread
>Forgets which side the CPU fan goes on
>Finally boots back up... CPU fan is suddenly loud AF under load, but eh, temps under stress are sub-60, so, good
~~Next day~~
>Loud CPU fan is too annoying, opens the case again
>CPU fan is on backwards
Ugh
>Takes the fan off, turns it around and fastens again, puts PC back together and boots
>Is quiet again, nice
>Goes to work on the PC
>2 hours later randomly checks temps because no fan noise is weird
>CPU at 75dC, crap
>Opens the (live) PC, CPU fan is not spinning
>Has put the header on one pin to a side
>Unplugs and replugs it correctly
>Fan suddenly starts spinning very fast and cuts my finger
>Finally closes the case once more. All issues resolved
...Its situations like these that make me wonder... What would happen it I had to work with servers in person, physically lol8 -
Me and my gf are looking for a house. Since we’re both on temporary contract we want a declaration of intent. For arranging a decent mortgage. My gf get’s called and signed within a day, getting compliments and a thumbs up.
I get called after three days; yeah eh we need to talk about this. I can’t sign this right now. A talk with both director and HR. Let’s get stressed...11 -
Have u ever had the perfect job opportunity and u screwed up? This idiot just did!! 😓😭 It's a 100% remote c# role. I literally had the job, all I needed to to was be patient and wait. But, noooooo I had to go and turn down the offer because it was "taking to long". He was getting the proposal ready and I was growing impatient. It's been almost a month since I started talking to the CTO and we were/are on the same level of understanding. He told me today just hours after I consulted with someone who's a business owner and he helped me write an apology to him. Man do I feel like an idiot. He didn't ask for a resume or references. Just seen my GitHub and a few game I did and let me talk to the lead Dev and I was in. The lead Dev even told me "welcome aboard, can't wait to work with you." AND I still screwed this op up!! Now he's telling me he will talk to the CEO and see what he says cause it maybe out of his hands.😞😞😞😞😞😭😭😭😓😓😓 What fool I am, eh??? P.S. which makes it even worst is that he reached out to me via LinkedIn without me sending him my resume or applying for any job that had posted.17
-
People distressed the fuck out of me today.
So now, 2:18 in the morning, I'm in bed, wide awake. Because anxiety is shit.
... And I have to be up early to do the work that I didn't do today.
Smh...
Why do people have to be such dicks?24 -
Versioning that raises no questions for most of the world. The majority can't be wrong, eh?
1.0
2.0
2.1
3.0
3.1
3.2
95
98
2000
1000 (M)
10 (X)
5 (V)
7
8
8.1
10
1110 -
It’s throw back Thursday!
Back to 1979... before the time of the red dragon book compiler book, (forgetting about the green dragon book) ... there was a time where only a few well written compiler and assembler “theory” books existed.
What’s special about this one? Well Calingaert was the co patentor of the OS/360. .. “okay soo? ... well Fred Brook’s Mythical Man-Month book I posted the other day. Calingaert is basically the counterpart of brooks on the OS/360.
Anyway, the code is in assembly (obviously) and the compiler code is basic.
Other than this book and from my understanding 2-3 other books that’s all that was available on compilers and assemblers as far as books written goes at the token.
ALLL the rest of knowledge for compilers existed in the ACM and other computing journals of the time.
Is this book relevant today, eh not really, other than giving prospective, it’s a short in comparison to the red dragon books.
If you did read it, it’s more of a book that gives you more lecture and background and concepts.. rather than here’s a swath of code.. copy it and run.. done.. nope didn’t happen in this book.. apply what you lean here13 -
Sitting down all day doesn't do my back much good, so thought I'd look for an electric back massager. And there's plenty around - great! So I do the normal thing I do and take a look at the reviews...
...but the reviews are completely unhelpful, because about 5% are the usual complaining it turned up late, 5% are maybe talking about using it as a back massager, and the remaining 90% seem to be using it as a vibrator. Some are even just bloody ambiguous. I'm still not sure if "takes a bit of work to get it in the right spot, but it's very effective when it's there" is referring to someone with a sore back, or someone who's sexually frustrated. Who knows, maybe both.
First world problems eh.14 -
ESET Antivirus is a strange animal. On one hand, it seems reasonably well written, because unlike Norton or F-Secure, it doesn't subject your computer to death by constant disk access and 100% CPU load for 10 minutes when you start it.
On the other hand, when I clicked the link in the mail about renewing licenses and filled out the form, I was not redirected to a page where I could enter credit cart details.
Instead, I got message that some representative would get back to me in 1-2 work days. Eh, what? It's a digital product for f***'s sake. Now, I suppose they'll send me a hand written letter (written using a quill, no doubt), delivered by a bloke riding a horse and wearing a tricorn.
Well, at least ESET virus definition updates are pushed on the internet, and not sent out on 5.25" diskettes.3 -
Yay! Finally got my first job in IT.
They call it just "IT admin/sysadmin", but it's... eh..
What I do is make sure the servers work (sysadmin part) and make desktop/mobile apps. So far, the company seems to be quite nice, there are already 4 devs who are friendly. *knocks on wood*
Will see how it goes, and I'd like to thank you for sharing your stories. Learned quite a lot from them!5 -
At 20 I thought my life would be an adventure. At 30 it seems like it's a rerun.
The reality is that life is full of grey areas, "good guys and bad guys" on all sides of most issues, and the story and excitement eventually end.
sometimes getting old feels like becoming comfortable with being numb and mediocre.
you are not the star at the center of your own story.
there is no story. there is only today, and then tomorrow, and then the day after that for as long as they happen to go on.
I can see no greater meaning or purpose behind this circus.
people think in months, seasons, years. maybe some of you even have five year plans.
but for me, rome was yesterday. and every rome to come. thats how near it is. It is so close, it and so many times before and after it, I cannot explain the sensation.
and in the vast gulfs of time, I see the wars, the conflicts, the narratives, and they unfold like dust or scum swirling on a pond, mechanistic, telling stories about nothing, algae struggling over territory on a rock.
as clearly as day, I see it all.
I saw your birth, and I saw your death. Your pain, and your greatest joy. How is it possible to love a total stranger and know them intimately because of their shared humanity? And still.
And from afar, in the stillness, I can't help being detached from the world and its problems.
And when we die, it is as if the world dies with us. Because it is not the end of the world, but the death of our own.
Softly go mortals, gently to their gods, like flowers in the fading summer. Never grasping that the permanence of the true identity and the temporality of the spirit are as fundementally distinct as the permanence of say "the G note", against the brief sound it makes when touched.
Eh. forget it. Sentimentality is a curse sometimes.10 -
Well not bad for my first try eh? I implemented a std::vector-like container and it's about 4 times as fast as std::vector10
-
For fucks sake, Amazon Prime has also decided that they are adding ads to their *paid subscription*. Because I guess paying them fucking monthly is not enough for them greedy fucks. It's not like they were loosing money either, the service had a slow but exponential growth ever since 2014 (slow in the sense that it was only hundreds of millions at first, but luckily it was tens of billions by 2022, poor amazon eh?) ... first fucking Netflix does this, and now these retarded fucks follow suit like little retarded ducklings with dollar signs for eyes. You can bet your fucking hats that the other services will jump on the adWagon soon too...
"you will own nothing and be happy".. yeah fuck you, you fucks. As if owning nothing wasn't bad enough, now that nothing comes with fucking ads on top FOR THE SAME FUCKING PRICE?!... And they have the audacity to fucking ask for *more* monthly money to get rid of the ads they oh so graciously provided?!
I don't even use fucking amazon prime, but what the actual fuck. This is *one* of the reasons I canceled my netflix sub. I'm not going to fucking support this behavior even if it doesn't affect me. But I guess some people keep showing netflix dicks into their gaping asses because they sure don't seem to be taking this bullshit back... And I assume even more people will keep sucking amazon dicks as if this was a-ok behavior.
god, shit like this really makes me angry...3 -
My (optimistic) brain at 11:30pm right before bed: "You should totally wake up extra early tomorrow to FINALLY finish that last 5% of your side project that has taken you 10x longer to do than the first 95%!"
My (sleepy) brain at 7:00am: *Hits snooze.* "Eh, there's always tomorrow!"2 -
* 1 day of requesting the feature, deadline not for a while*
switch{
case 1:
Manager: How's the new feature going?
Me: I've done a bit of the front end. Here's how it will look.
Manager: Oh great it's done! Does it do ABC as the client requested? Does it also do XYZ that I just thought about this second?
Me: eh this is just part of the front end, I haven't even connected it to the backend - I haven't even started the backend.
case 2:
Manager: How's the new feature going?
Me: I've done a bit of the back end.
Manager: ok. Can I look?
Me: we'll it's just code... *shows them the code*
Manager: oh... so it's nothing really. Call me when it is done
}3 -
I have a VP constantly harassing my people about some reports that we need to do as per federal law.
The thing is, these live inside of such system that I get to see exactly how many "hits" they get on a yearly basis. The only traffic we have on those sections is of people going ahead and putting the information from our reports there.
That's it, literally. Our user base does not go there. Federal agencies do not go there. No one gives two blips of shit about those sections. Yet she continuously acts like they are the most important thing in the fucking world. To make it better, I was told not to generate actual analytical data from said reports, since people with PHDs will come down on me to ask me who the fuck do I think I am from gauging them with such systems. So shit is a mute point on all fucking accounts.
I told my VP I can generate traffic information to let them know that shit is not really the most important thing in the fucking universe. His eyes glowed.
I don't want to see head rolls, but from staying till the next morning awake trying to give the best to our userbase, and just to be called out on shit like this as if I did not do enough for our people just.....well....it fucking hits man.
The worse part was me literally getting 30 minutes of sitting down after an all nighter, doing something for my users, to get to a meeting the next morning (I should not have driven there honestly) to hear this bitch complain about us not doing enough or not caring or whatever other bullshit she would spew.
I was livid, lack of sleep makes me dangerous. I turned to say something when my boss stopped me and took care of business. I seriously love this man. By all accounts and generational gaps a boomer, but one of the few good golden ones.
I just hate how unappreciated the realm of software development is by people that think that our shit is as simple as making a fucking powerpoint presentation.
Consolidate that with a director from another department taking all fucking glory during a major event of an application that I built by myself with 2 fucking weeks of no sleeping. And shit just gets glorious.
I have considered moving to other places, and heck, have gotten amazing offers, what with having a degree with a big fucking GPA and having the credentials of a senior, lead, full stack and manager role, the sky is the limit. But i know that if I leave then my users suffer, and I just can't fucking have that.
I have heard them speaking about doing something with X app that I built (with my department) I have even heard one of them saying "how is this made?" and a part of me hoped that it would be a good time to grab them and tell them of the field and the things that they can do. But I don't like announcing myself that way, always seemed to presumptuous, so I just smile, fuck yeah, my users are doing their thing with what I built to better their lives, what more can I have?
I have gotten criticisms from them, one recognized me, told me about his pain points and how it makes it hard for him to do what he must. Getting the data from the user base in an effort to make shit better for them drives me, my challenge being "how about this? better eh?"
But fucking execs man, think only of themselves, not the users, they forget about the users. Much like a shitty rock band forgetting about the music, about the fans.
I can't let that slide. But this fucking field. I sometimes fucking hate it, and I hate it because of the normies that don't understand and do not want to understand.
I do way too much, my guys do way too much and all I want is for the recognition to go to them. They do not need the ego boost, but to see my guys sitting in a meeting in which some dumb fuck is trying to drill us for taking to long, not doing something and what not, it fucking pisses me off. As their boss I always stand up and tell bitches off, but instead of learning, the bitches just keep pressing on their already defeated points.
Everything in human life gets fucking erradicated by: humans. People really do fucking suck.
I sometimes wish to go back, redo my diesel tech license and just work there, where I think one would be better of talking to an engine. But no, even then you get people, you have to interact with people, deal with people, and I am so far up my game and in my field that starting from scratch is a fucking mute point.
Maybe I need to keep fucking with stocks, get rich and just keep investing on bullshit. Whatever the fuck it takes me from having to feel the urge to choke a motherfucker in public.1 -
*goes to management*
Me: So do you want the button to be up here or down here?
Management: OMG you finished?! So early?!
Me: Eh no, I just modified the HTML in the browser...
Management: But I can see the button right there!
Me: ...
Management: Well, leave it where it was.
It never was. And it is currently in two places.2 -
This just happened....
Tester: My cluster is not working properly!!!
Me: What's wrong?
Tester: I don't know. I've checked all the logs available on the entire cluster. All i know is that node 1 and 7 is broken.
*ssh into the cluster*
node1
# less /var/log/<affected application log>.log
*no errors here everything is working properly*
node7
# less /var/log/<affected application log>.log
*goes down to the bottom and scrolls up a few lines*
<insert massive error here>
Checked all the logs eh?3 -
Everyone and their dog is making a game, so why can't I?
1. open world (check)
2. taking inspiration from metro and fallout (check)
3. on a map roughly the size of the u.s. (check)
So I thought what I'd do is pretend to be one of those deaf mutes. While also pretending to be a programmer. Sometimes you make believe
so hard that it comes true apparently.
For the main map I thought I'd automate laying down the base map before hand tweaking it. It's been a bit of a slog. Roughly 1 pixel per mile. (okay, 1973 by 1067). The u.s. is 3.1 million miles, this would work out to 2.1 million miles instead. Eh.
Wrote the script to filter out all the ocean pixels, based on the elevation map, and output the difference. Still had to edit around the shoreline but it sped things up a lot. Just attached the elevation map, because the actual one is an ugly cluster of death magenta to represent the ocean.
Consequence of filtering is, the shoreline is messy and not entirely representative of the u.s.
The preprocessing step also added a lot of in-land 'lakes' that don't exist in some areas, like death valley. Already expected that.
But the plus side is I now have map layers for both elevation and ecology biomes. Aligning them close enough so that the heightmap wasn't displaced, and didn't cut off the shoreline in the ecology layer (at export), was a royal pain, and as super finicky. But thankfully thats done.
Next step is to go through the ecology map, copy each key color, and write down the biome id, courtesy of the 2017 ecoregions project.
From there, I write down the primary landscape features (water, plants, trees, terrain roughness, etc), anything easy to convey.
Main thing I'm interested in is tree types, because those, as tiles, convey a lot more information about the hex terrain than anything else.
Once the biomes are marked, and the tree types are written, the next step is to assign a tile to each tree type, and each density level of mountains (flat, hills, mountains, snowcapped peaks, etc).
The reference ids, colors, and numbers on the map will simplify the process.
After that, I'll write an exporter with python, and dump to csv or another format.
Next steps are laying out the instances in the level editor, that'll act as the tiles in question.
Theres a few naive approaches:
Spawn all the relevant instances at startup, and load the corresponding tiles.
Or setup chunks of instances, enough to cover the camera, and a buffer surrounding the camera. As the camera moves, reconfigure the instances to match the streamed in tile data.
Instances here make sense, because if theres any simulation going on (and I'd like there to be), they can detect in event code, when they are in the invisible buffer around the camera but not yet visible, and be activated by the camera, or deactive themselves after leaving the camera and buffer's area.
The alternative is to let a global controller stream the data in, as a series of tile IDs, corresponding to the various tile sprites, and code global interaction like tile picking into a single event, which seems unwieldy and not at all manageable. I can see it turning into a giant switch case already.
So instances it is.
Actually, if I do 16^2 pixel chunks, it only works out to 124x68 chunks in all. A few thousand, mostly inactive chunks is pretty trivial, and simplifies spawning and serializing/deserializing.
All of this doesn't account for
* putting lakes back in that aren't present
* lots of islands and parts of shores that would typically have bays and parts that jut out, need reworked.
* great lakes need refinement and corrections
* elevation key map too blocky. Need a higher resolution one while reducing color count
This can be solved by introducing some noise into the elevations, varying say, within one standard div.
* mountains will still require refinement to individual state geography. Thats for later on
* shoreline is too smooth, and needs to be less straight-line and less blocky. less corners.
* rivers need added, not just large ones but smaller ones too
* available tree assets need to be matched, as best and fully as possible, to types of trees represented in biome data, so that even if I don't have an exact match, I can still place *something* thats native or looks close enough to what you would expect in a given biome.
Ponderosa pines vs white pines for example.
This also doesn't account for 1. major and minor roads, 2. artificial and natural attractions, 3. other major features people in any given state are familiar with. 4. named places, 5. infrastructure, 6. cities and buildings and towns.
Also I'm pretty sure I cut off part of florida.
Woops, sorry everglades.
Guess I'll just make it a death-zone from nuclear fallout.
Take that gators!5 -
Me: Hmm... My Android phone has been acting strange lately, cell signal keeps dropping... Maybe I picked up a virus... let's flash the latest update.
Phone: Updating Done
Me: Hm... signal is still bad... maybe it's hardware... *Angry*
Phone: By the way you lost root
Me: @#$%$&&$%^#$!#$@$%$#%^ OK LETS SEE, SUPERSU, REINSTALL THE BINARIES... YES!!!
Phone: Reinstalling... Restarting...
......................................................
......................................................
Me: it's not loading.... why? NO! I bricked it..... NO NO NO NO.....
*1 hour of flailing...*
Hey Recovery still works! OK, let's try to reflashing the OS
Phone: Flashing... Restarting...
Me: Please, please... let this work.... it's not starting............. wait. IT LOADED!!!! WOOT!!!! AWESOME...
Phone: still no root...
Me: Eh...
And there went my most of my evening which I was supposed to spend preparing for an interview tomorrow....6 -
So our main web server got ransomware'd.
By some miracle only a shared directory was compromised and not the whole server.
The server is on an end-of-life OS (Win Server 2008r2), no antivirus solution, no WAF, no log hardening or aggregation, so basically our Security MSP told us "lol good luck finding the attack origin, nuke it and rebuild it correctly this time"
Thing is IT leadership is like "Eh, no harm done, everything is fine" and want to sweep it under the rug and not report it to senior management.
How do i go about convincing them that this is actually important and for once in their life, they should give a fuck ? (This web server is the main moneymaker, it goes tits up and heads are gonna roll).9 -
Ladies and gentlemen, Introducing Rezn0v-Jr, this guy was born(created) yesterday on an underperforming device later shifted to my primary device. And is not complete machine learning type. He is Pythonborn (eh.. not Dragonborn). For now he can't understand human response but only can speak (print) few sentences.
PS- Chemistry exam on Tuesday
Update- I dropped my phone again right after post finished uploading.1 -
Recently I flashed Android 9 (Pie) on my Nexus, but to this day I still haven't logged into Google from it. One reason is because I don't know my password and I didn't git clone my password store yet (where it's contained). Another reason is because I want to reclaim my privacy and not be a data battery for a Matrix of convenience that feeds itself with my personal information. Eh, it sorta works out I guess. Yalp is an amazing alternative to the Play Store, and even offers its own shadow accounts to use along with Google Play.
One problem though, while I've noticed that I could log in with my own account to get all my premium apps (couple hundred euros worth, so not easy to just discard) it apparently violates Google Play's ToS to do so from a third-party app. So I'm a bit hesitant to do that. Do you know of any viable alternative way to preserve my privacy yet install, keep and have validated those premium apps? I could download them from e.g. BlueStacks and export the apk's, but that'd be tedious and wouldn't be able to get those apps validated on my phone unless I log into Google there as well (which kinda defeats the purpose). Any suggestions?23 -
I fucking hate morning people like the one in the story below!
Before we begin story time I want to acknowledge some things.
This is largely a case of a person having a lack of awareness and giving in to their base instincts (which are wrong).
People all tend to think that everyone else is like them (most children below a certain age cannot make this distinction and many adults never learn it either).
To take it a step further, anyone who isn't just like them is Lazy/Bad/An Asshole/etc.
FUCK THOSE PEOPLE
Now it's story time...
---------
I worked for a startup. We used a modified SCRUM, and we had standups every day @ 10 AM, the other team had then at 11:30 AM.
We get a new product owner. He is a morning person. But basically, he is a day-trader so he wakes up at 5 AM to trade and is in the office by 8 AM every day.
The problem is, he uses this as a reason to leave every day at 3 PM when EVERY other member of the team is there until at least 5 PM.
So he says one day (when I am not there) that we are moving our standups to 8:30 AM...
"Because he wants to make more use of the time and wants to get more done!"
So the next day a bunch of us miss this standup, the second day I was there in time but instead of going to the standup I sent them a picture of myself sitting in a coffee shop across the street with a message saying...
"I will be holding a meeting today at 10 AM, I expect EVERYONE to be there. If anyone on our team is absent then we will sit there and that absent person will be responsible for the time we waste waiting for them."
10 AM rolls around and the Product Owner is nowhere to be seen. The team starts complaining about the early standup and I tell them that this meeting is for me to take care of it. I tell them to sit silently and let me handle it.
We all message the PO saying the same thing...
"Come to the meeting, You are wasting our time!!!"
So he shows up at 10:20 AM and it begins.
(Now I'm going to do this as a conversation)
PO: "So I assume this is about the standup?..."
ME: "Feel free to ramble on as long as you want, you have already wasted 20 minutes of our time so we will sit here quietly and wait for you to decide you are ready to stop wasting our time with your ramblings. That's fine."
<PO then shuts up in disbelief>
ME: "So are you finished?"
PO: ...
ME: "I'm expecting an answer PO!"
PO: Yes, for now.
ME: I am moving our standups to 5 PM, end of discussion.
PO: Becuase your too lazy to be here by 8 AM?
<I expected this>
ME: No because I'm an asshole who expect everyone to conform to my schedule.
PO: ..., Well, I am not here at 5 PM.
ME: Sounds like your too "lazy" be here at 5 PM, eh?
PO: I have other things I do then.
ME: Ah, now the truth comes out. You care more about your life than our business. That's unacceptable! I personally don't care what you want to do. The fact is that we are working here and every day we end up having PO questions that need to and can't be answered because you are not here.
PO: <To the team> The standup is still at 8:30 AM.
ME: <To the team> The standup is at 5 PM. End of story. And from now on whenever we have questions before 5 for PO and he is not here we will be recording it and putting it in his report.
Then I walk away.
That day we held a standup at 5 PM. He wasn't there. He held a standup at 8:30 AM and he didn't even show up. He stayed home a video in. He then arrived in the office and said...
PO: Since no one was in the standup today we will be moving it back to 10 AM.
ME: Since PO has seen the selfishness of his ways, We will be moving the standup from 5 PM back to 10 AM.
FUCK THOSE PEOPLE6 -
I rebooted a device that everyone uses
It has not come online yet
It's been an hour, and counting...
What a good timing we're all working from home eh?3 -
Boss: we should cut costs
Me: I could move us to a cloud provider and we would pay about a quarter of our current costs and because we could scale keep our current capacity intact.
Boss: eh, that's too risky
Me: *watches us spend $10k+/mo in unused hardware* - okay.1 -
I hate that "integer overflows" have become somewhat pop culture because anytime I see someone try to use it in a joke, they use it wrong.
I've even seen people confuse them with stack overflows and be like "my intelligence is so low it stack underflowed and became the max of an integer value!"
Or "It overflowed and became zero again" ah, I guess it happened to be unsigned and overflowed by precisely 1 then eh?
So cringe15 -
Writing an efficient, modern renderer is truly an exercise of patience. You have a good idea? Hah, fuck you, GPUs don't support that. Okay but what if I try to use this advanced feature? Eh, probably not going to support exactly what you would like to do. Okay fuck it I'm gonna use the most obscure features possible. Congratulations, it doesn't work even on the niche hardware that supports that extension
If I sound jaded, ya better believe I f*cking am! I cannot wait for more graphics cards to support features like mesh shaders so we can finally compute shader all the things and do things the way we want to god dammit -
Being a c# junkie moving to c++, I hated the archaic practice of declaring things in one file, then implementing them in another.
I have been using c++ as my main language for about two months straight now, and I went back to a c# project and I HATE not having them in separate files.
Funny, eh?9 -
rant-ish*
PHP + jQuery + Excel
I am facing the holy trinity or something.
Cool? eh? No no, not as cool as the holy trinit holding excalibur.
One of the info is Gender : Male, Female. And they state that we must export the excel with selected gender by drawing a circle over the choice.
Not Gender : Male
But Gender : (Male) , Female
Consider my bracket as circle.
They are not even in seperate cells. So now I am spending days to draw a fucking circle over a text in excel export using php. Still failing. FML.
* I control myself from asking for coding tips here but I will appreciate anyone who can help me out regarding the issue in this rant.13 -
Here's a thought!
Our bodies are mortal. And they are like flowers: they grow, blossom at their best and then begin their slow degradations, deaths.
Our mind is what seems to be the essence of _us_.
Now suppose someone finds a way to copy our minds into some tech so they could survive our bodies' deaths. Making us sort of immortal. Sounds cool, eh?
But that would make a copy of your mind. You would still be stuck in your mortal body while your copy would be immortal. Would you be happier to die knowing that it's YOU who is dying and not your copy, rather than dying w/o leaving a copy of you behind? Is a copy of you still YOU?
It could be YOU for others. But is it YOU for you?26 -
It is still blowing my mind how a button on my raspberry pi is programmatically functional in the same way as if I was programming a database and web app.
Fucking eh, why haven't I been doing this hardware stuff sooner? You can literally make physical shit happen. That is so cool!4 -
Event Head: There is a theme available to save you some time.
*Sends over a Wordpress theme*
EH: I got us this new service where you can create a website just by drag and drop.
Sure, why not. How foolish of me to not know of WordPress and Website builder tools.1 -
WHY THE FUCK ISN'T THERE AN OPTION TO QUICKLY JUST FUCKING PRINT A TABLE IN PHP???!!!!
I DON'T WANT TO SIT AND WRITE 50 MORE LINES FOR YOU TO DO SUCH A SIMPLE TASK.
I WANT TO JUST "SELECT * FROM BLABAL" AND PRINT THAT FUCKER IS IT THAT HARD EH?26 -
fuck oracle. fuck my company.
Using Oracle VM Manager/Servers to host Oracle Phone transfer solution without support coverage from Oracle.
Requiring Unix sysadmins to update to latest release and not telling that we do not have coverage from Oracle if anything goes wrong.
Gues what.. We've updated to Oracle VM Manager/Server 3.4.5 which was released this year and it uses fucking XEN hypervisor version 4.4.4 which has been deprecated and dead since who knows when. Latest release of XEN is 4.11. But that is not an issue, whatever, enterprise, legacy software, etc.
This fucking update introduced memory leak on the hypervisor which has been reported as per xen 4.4.4 history. Furthermore, we have no support from Oracle which means that I have to dig through mailing lists and limited information on the net since oracle has freakin support wall on nearly each of the major bugs found on that shitty software.
I have no idea whether any newer version of xen will work with that old Oracle Linux kernel or not.
Furthermore, Oracle provided great documentation on how to rollback the fcking update. Reinstall the hypervisor. Riiiight. XEN does not have export/import feature.
eh1 -
So I'm struggling to finish this library which among other things is supposed to write flowing text. And this one's taking foreeeever and I'm hating it so much already.
I just keep daydreaming of starting a "simple" platformer. And then I go, "hm the parallax must be nice, it needs to have as many layers as possible, oh and look at this video, here they're even zooming and each layer rescales differently, good effect, I need to add that too. Also a plain platformer is just boring, it needs to have adventure elements, and even RPG too, yeah why not. Hm, it needs to have some motion blur, but oh I need this 1/48 shutter speed to make it look cinematic. Okay how do I go about adding this blur effect? What? Libgdx doesn't provide one out of the box? I need to use opengl shaders? A shader, eh... I'm not even sure what that is. Okay, let's see how to do it. Wow that's a total mess and resource hungry, and how will I calculate it all as to make it match the 1/48 thing?"
You know... Simple. And in the end, I'll abandon the library and won't get anywhere with the platformer (as usual).
Tsk tsk tsk5 -
I know I'm out of the loop since I barely use these sites, but...
What is it with this seemingly ridiculous new trend on LinkedIn of replacing your meaningless job title with, somehow, an even more meaningless fake description of what you're doing? I'm seeing it all over.
Back in the day it'd just be "Python developer". Then the trend seemed to be a "Senior / lead / principle software engineer / Python specialist" (who cares if you're actually a senior eh, this is LinkedIn.) And if that wasn't ridiculous enough, now it's "Helping to transform the globe towards a greener future by implementing beautiful, robust code in Python 3.10" or similar. Who the hell wants to see this crap?!5 -
Stories like the one I'm about to tell you are just another reason why people hate Windows. I know I usually preach 'Don't hate everything' and shit, but this is a real big fucking deal when it hits your desktop for no reason.
Now, onto the actual story...
Background: Playing with my Oculus, fixing issues like forgetting to use USB3 and stuff. I learned about an issue with Nvidia GPUs, where in Windows, they can only support 4 simultaneous displays per GPU. I only have the one GPU in my system, Nova, so I have to unplug a monitor to get Oculus and its virtual window thingy working. Alright, friend gave me idea of using my old GPU to drive one of my lesser used monitors, my right one. Great idea I thought, I'll install it a bit later.
A bit later...
I plug the GPU in (after 3 tries of missing the PCI-E slot, fuckers) and for some reason I'm getting boot issues. It's booting to the wrong drive, sometimes it'll not even bother TRYING to boot, suddenly one of my hard drives isn't even being recognized in BIOS, fuck. Alright, is the GPU at least being recognized? Shit, it isn't. FUCKFUCKFUCK.
Oh wait. I just forgot the power cable Duh. Plug that in, same issues. Alright, now I have no idea. Try desperately to boot, but it just won't I start getting boot error 0xc000000f. Critical device not found. Alrighty then. Fuck my life, eh?
Remove the GPU, look around a bit while frantically trying to boot the system, and I notice an oddly bent SATA cable. I look at it and the bastard is FRAYED AT THE END! Fuck, that's my main SSD! I finally replace the SATA cable and boot, still the same error... Boot into a recovery environment, and guess what?
Windows has decided to change my boot partition, ya know, the FUCKING C: DRIVE, from NTFS to RAW format, stripping it of formatting! What the actual fuck Microsoft? You just took a shit on yourself while having a seizure on the fucking MOON! Fine, fuck you, I have recovery USB! Oh, shit, that won't boot... I have an old installation! Boot ITS recovery, try desperately to find a fix online... CHKDSK C: /F... alright, repairing, awesome! Repaired, I can see data, but not boot. So now I'm at the point where I'm waiting for a USB installer to be created over USB 2.0. Wheeeeeeeeee. FML.
THESE are the times I usually hate Windows a lot. And I do. But it gets MOST of my work done. Except when it does this.
I'm already pissed, so don't go into the comments and just hate on Windows completely. Just a little. The main post is for the main hate. Deal with it. And I know that someone is going to come at me "Ohhhhh, you need FUCKIN LIIIIIIINUUUUUUUXXXXXXXX!' Want to know my response to that?
No.3 -
! Rant
I recently learned about rubber duck debugging hence wanted to buy one.
So went on to Amazon.in to find some.
And surprise surprise guess whom did I find in my instagram feed?
Marketing has turned into stalking these days eh?2 -
First Happy new year, now lets get put on the dancing shoes... (I have another one coming, but this one is fresh)
As a PHP developer (yeah I am and I like it, if you gonna hate on me... go fuck yourself) I expect to not be required to reinvent the wheel when I have to use something that is not too mainstream (in my case was producing JSON and XML HAL responses). Now there are 2 (fairly active and somewhat mature), one of which does not produce XML responses, so off I went with the other one, but for fucks sake it does not produce XML that is compliant with the (draft)RFC (https://tools.ietf.org/html/...)
So as I need that, I decided to write one myself, since extending the one that provided XML would've been a waste of time, since it is NOT documented and for some reason depends on about 4 packages (also developed by the same maintainer), why the whining you ask, eh? Well fuck this shit. It took me 2(+2 classes) to achieve everything (according to standard as far as I can tell) + went with using a "hydrator" as opposed to reflection (the lib used reflection and didn't care too much for the access modified on the property of the object being serialized) so got a pretty solid performance boost, cleaner and simple code (I wrote it for a few hours and it is ugly, but hey KISS and it works perfectly)...
So with the more ranty part of this rant... Why the fuck so many people don't write independant packages for the simple parts... I don't hate it when I need a package and end up downloading half of the codebase of symfony or whatever fancy framework the dev decided to use, wasn't it the point of having 'package managers' (composer, npm, etc.. you get the deal..) instead of promote our projects and not force others to use our favorite framework that is absolutely out of scope for their projects...
Fuck you, fuck me and fuck everybody... If this continues I will continue writing my own packages from scratch, because "you" asshole are too lazy to learn and apply SOLID and common sense; even if your life depends on it you cannot write a meaningful piece of code without "the fancy framework of the month" holding your hand and allowing you to continue being a dumbass that has enough brain cells to walk straight and remember that you have to go to the toilet and not shit all over the place....
FML.... Fuck this shit and that is the main reason my gears grind the most when I head "you should use *framework name* instead" or "don't reinvent the wheel", fuck that guy I refuse to work my ways around a framework in order to get things done, my boss aint happy for that shit you know, I don't get paid to deal with your crappy code or uninformed opinion..3 -
My LinkedIn is usually pretty quiet. Recently I've received quite a few messages from recruiters. Some of them put numbers in and I look at them, well, the market looks hot.
I like where I am but doesn't hurt to have a look around eh? So I went through some interviews and shit. No preps, not trying to please anyone, being completely honest. And out of the 3 I tried, 1 got to the final round.
Before the final round, the recruiter kept harassing me (it's their job really) about what my "bottom line" is. She said they really liked me but I'm not up to their expectation as a senior role. So they want to proceed with a non-senior role, then climb my ladder up. I told her, I don't give a shit about the title. The she said for that, the salary will be "adjusted" (reads reduced). I told her, look, I said I wouldn't bother if the offer is anything less than X amount of money. Then she said but this company would offer 10% bonus, which will add up , mind you, "close to" X. She said she wanted to know so we don't waste the director's time (as the final round is to meet the bloody director).
I said, if I need to disclose my bottom line before going to this, which is pretty much my negotiation, then let's call it off. No point wasting my time either.
The next day I received the last call from her. They fucked right off.
I know everyone here already knows. But let me experience be another example of how a plague recruiters is. I don't have any experience like this before but this is probably a fucking lowball case too.4 -
Was going through old photos from university time and...I present to you the result of deadline + lack of sleep + boredom + shitty university project because somebody decided that CS folks needed to learn webdev in old ASP.NET.
Yes that is one query. I wrote the entire thing out as a string in my C# program in one go and tested it by running it from the program. Must've worked properly because I got them grades so eh. I recall I had one nested seven levels too (this is just 5) but I can't find a photo of it. These two queries did all the business logic. Yeah.
Apologies for the poor quality photo of the screen, I don't have the code so no screenshot, this is just from my photos archive4 -
Oh my gosh. Windows is...eh..
I mean, it is outdated and slow, has bugs and many other stuff, but do you know why I use it? It is widely supported.
Compare application support on Mac or Linux! It is nothing compared to Windows.
However, I will still have to deal with it for a very very long time...3 -
>Discovers a new low level profiling tool that could help us at work with stuck process debugging and gets all hyped
>Installs on test machine, tool doesn't work
>Wonders why. Oh. Needs a kernel module to work, compiled and loaded
>"Well, its my test machine... Guess that's no problem..." but... my hype died down a bit. Kernel module installation just for a new tool that aggregates all other commonly used tools? eh... Maybe it will blow me out of my shoes still
>Installs and loads the module
>Tool works. Turns out its just a htop-like tool, with shortcuts to launch specific other profiling tools like strace/ltrace/lsof/netstat/ss etc...
"Oh... That's boring. Maybe it has all those tools built in at least?"
>Tries to run ltrace - tool exits as ltrace is not installed
Lol
>Installs ltrace and launches tool again. Tries to ltrace a process and
>Nothing. Nothing happens. For seconds... Then kicks me off of SSH
WTF?
>Tries to ping machine... silence
Did... our net go down again? (Having issues due to a storm going over our area these few days)
>Pings google and... gets instant reply
More wtf
>Pings the hypervisor the machine was running on
Works like normal
Oh... Oh no. Please tell me it didn't!
>Logs into the hypervisor UI, checks machine state
Running OK
>Opens machine console aaaaand... Yep. Stacktrace as well as a lot of kernel mumbo-jumbo... It took the machine down to kernel panic.
I never went so quick from "We need this tool deployed everywhere" to "Omg I need to get rid of this crap as soon as possible" lol.
And just for those wondering, it was sysdig.1 -
Ex boss bought Embarcadero Delphi, Tokyo release and showed me how the environment looks like.
Its beautiful.
Say whatever you want. The dude would shred out large af projects and soultions from delphi faster than anything else I would have seen in other places.
The bad thing about it is that be was the only one that could do it because he was the only one that knew how to use it...the docs for it suck(imho) although reading code for Delphi was easy, tedious since it was literally a top bottom like a book sort of deal, but easy.
Kinda miss it to be honest. It was an interesting experience and people do look for delphi developers and pay them a lot, wonder if I would get another chance at it one day. We were designing some rather large systems with it and it was not web oriented(for web he used ASP :P my boi was unique eh?)
Oh well, well see -
Nightly anxiety is a new concept that I'm embracing.
On tonight's episode:
> The boss did not like my work.
> He was being nice when he said it's good work.
> I am a failure and should immediately go and get a degree in nail design and work as a minimum wage nail artist. Or hair dresser. Or even cleaning crew.
... This is fun. 😐18 -
Nothing's as fun as unraveling the mystery of how a certain dependency got pulled in transitively....
In a monolith.
With over 1000 dependencies.
Kinda like sorting rice by the size of each grain.
Things that make a friday entertaining.
💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩3 -
I'm worried about me, and my future carrier path...
I don't know in what direction should I walk, to become the best as I can
And I'm going to be as best as I can...but Google Maps doesn't just show the direction, it gets lost as me...eh...
Yesterday, I've told to dev genie just 2 wishes, but as my third wish, I'd like to know in what direction should I walk, which roads should I avoid, what shall I do.4 -
let me preface with the fact that I'm now known at my new job for being the resident cli hipster. I can't lay any claims to knowing if it's "better" but I like it, I don't care if you do or don't, it just works for me and my flow
so at my job, we generally squash all our commits into one commit and delete the source branch upon merging; i accidentally committed all my work to an old, already merged branch, so my boss tells me it would be more of a PITA with the weird references we would encounter by merging the branch again, rather than just cherry pick the commits into a new branch, which i'm like "eh, fine.".
HIM: "You want to share your screen so we can resolve this?"
ME: "k"
HIM: "Oh, you won't be able to do this in a terminal, you are going to have to load up a GUI of some sort"
ME: "lawlz, no you don't"
HIM: "i highly doubt you will be able to accomplish that, but if you wanna make an ass of yourself, i'll humor you"
ME: "yeah, watch this"
> git log > log.txt
> git checkout <new branch>
> git cherry-pick <copy-paste-full-commit-hash-here>
> git push
ME: "done"
HIM: "what? there's no way you did it that easily, where are all your other commits???"
ME: "i usually try to amend my commits since we squash them anyhow. it really helps in situations like this"
HIM: "well, you go girl"
roll that up in your fancy degree and smoke it, why don't ya?2 -
WTF?! I just dunno how to handle this error message.
Are you trying to tell me that 'oops that C written Javascript library just crashed by a WTFCrash within a Java VM'?
Eh What!? I mean what?!
Will someone please catch that? I'll throw it to you...5 -
when you cant be arsed to do icons so you just use emojis for button icons.
btn.textContent = "🗑️"
because icon sets now have their own apis (like what ever happened to icon fonts?), and documents explaining what scripts and commands to run to *install fucking plugins* on software written to *supplement* doc servers. plugins and software whos host site returns an SSL error. nice.
to use web icons. downloaded only on request. from other sites.
seems kind of eh, tower-of-baylon to me. like a bird landing on the electrical lines near your house might cause a blip and break one or two icons on your slick 2020 web app.
idk just seems unnecessary, like if you're small, your gonna want to embed your fonts on the webpage instead of overcooking things and hosting *a fucking server* just to serve an api for fucking *icons*. and if you're large you're gonna reduce those requests anyway12 -
Heyo, it's me. That fool who always says shit about unity.(:
So.. i just got my first real hands-on down, and phew, i gotta say.. I overestimated that heap of bullshit.
It's not like there are basic concepts of gamedev, framebased ticking and stuff like that since before the fucking gameboy - nope - let's do shit different. More ... Shit. First, we invent something new. Lets call it "prefab". None of these fuckers is going to know what that shit is.
What next.. oh the new-keyword. That's bullshit, all languages use it. Lets make Instanciate(). That's the stuff.
On we go, scenes. Most shit is statically created beforehand and used by scripts glued to stuff. Hell that so neat actually. Creating materials beforehand and then we can just load em!(:
NOPE. yo bro your Material where u used one of those loading-methods is null. We ain't telling you whats wrong, cus you know.. Load() returning null is like completely normal, why throwing an exception?
Oh and btw, it needs to be in ./Resources/, but it wont make any difference.
So now you want to google your problem, eh? Forget it. The Forums only answer on stuff like "how to add 2 numbers in unity" and the guide shows you how you did it, but they say it works that way.
Dude holy shit, of course this is a buhuuu i don't know how to do shit rant because i feel like good 8-10 years of dev experience collected while not doing homework for school were for fucking nothing.:b
And i have to use it.
Subjective Opinion: Unity was made by crackheads.7 -
Today after longer vacation I came back to work.
Edit: wrote this rant long time ago, but never finished. Was too pissed.
Some easy meetings, then wanted to start on an easy job.
Just migrating some things from bash regex voodoo to proper tools like JQ.
Finished in roughly 1 h. Lovely.
Made some tea, ate some cookies.
Set up dev environment, found no documentation what so ever, got it running after half an hour.
Annoying, but ok.
Then I tried my scripts...
They worked... Except they didn't.
Console log empty, response code 200 with state: GENERATE_NO_FILES.
Eh. Fuck you. Just fuck you.
Fixed the logging configuration, which was broken since uhm... 2 years plus?
Well... Another half another hour gone...
Kinda pissed now.
Still script return failed...
Poking and trying to sprinkle debug all over that shit cause everything seems ... An incohesive, inconsistent diarrhea.
3 hours later...
Made the ticket to rewrite it.
I did nothing wrong at all.
The API just has no workflow at all. The
*seperate* API calls have to be in an **specific** order - as otherwise the generation will fail, as the prerequisites for the generation are not fulfilled.
Yeah. Completely logical. Especially not to give out any kind of warning or an error message like requirements not met, blablabla.
I drank that evening 2 six packs of beer. I was raging mad....
Then gave that shit to another manager, as I never want to touch that nuclear waste again....
How can someone be so brain damaged -.-1 -
*while writing a function, sees mistake in another function unrelated to the one I'm writing* eh, can't be bothered to fix that right now, I'll wait for someone to file a bug
-
Classmate: I'm done with this
I read his code
Me: Good. But could you make that a little bit more.. readable?
Classmate: Eh..what?
Me: Or use one or two lists less.. and the naming
Classmate: But I need them all!
It's a square around a coordinate within given borders, not rocket science.1 -
Overall, pretty good actually compared to the alternatives, which is why there's so much competition for dev jobs.
On the nastier end of things you have the outsourcing pools, companies which regularly try to outbid each other to get a contract from an external (usually foreign) company at the lowest price possible. These folks are underpaid and overworked with absolutely terrible work culture, but there are many, many worse things they could be doing in terms of effort vs monetary return (personal experience: equally experienced animator has more work and is paid less). And forget everything about focus on quality and personal development, these companies are here to make quick money by just somehow doing what the client wants, I'm guessing quite a few of you have experienced that :p
Startups are a mixed bag, like they are pretty much everywhere in the world. You have the income tax fronts which have zero work, the slave driver bossman ones, the dumpster fires; but also really good ones with secure funding, nice management, and cool work culture (and cool work, some of my friends work at robotics startups and they do some pretty heavy shit).
Government agencies are also a mixed bag, they're secure with low-ish pay but usually don't have much or very exciting work, and the stuff they turn out is usually sub-par because of bad management and no drive from higher-ups.
Big corporates are pretty cool, they pay very well, have meaningful(?) work, and good work culture, and they're better managed in general than the other categories. A lot of people aim for these because of the pay, stability, networking, and resume building. Some people also use them as stepping stones to apply for courses abroad.
Research work is pretty disappointing overall, the projects here usually lack some combination of funding, facilities, and ambition; but occasionally you come across people doing really cool stuff so eh.
There's a fair amount of competition for all of these categories, so students spend an inordinate amount of time on stuff like competitive programming which a lot of companies use for hiring because of the volume of candidates.
All this is from my experience and my friends', YMMV.1 -
Well week 1 with fedora and... yeah think I'll be going back to elementary after giving void linux a go.
Can't quite place why I don't like fedora, it's smooth and lightweight but just... Eh...4 -
I wish I could do the following legally....
Spank someones butt with good horse hair whip.
Draw smilies with sriracha on the butt.
Let him write 1000 times "I'll keep my half knowledge and thus profound dumbness to myself - or ask politely instead of barking orders" with his red hot sriracha butt.
Let him lick it clean, his filthy mouth needs it.
And hopefully. Hopefully. Pain would teach him the lesson that his half assed knowledge and narcisstic behaviour does more harm than good - especially to himself.
Backstory: I had a full dual phone conference and video chat experience because someone was so full of shit... Eh. Narcisstic self believe. That he nearly destroyed an ongoing migration, made upper management nervous, and letting me deal with the still ongoing migration, conference / chatting and so on.
And yes. The date for migration was fixed. He could have spout his nonsense before.
Damn it, so many ideas to turn a human body into !!*!"!!*!*!*!!*
He launched a fullblown discussion on a saturday during an ongoing migration based on outdated knowledge claiming the right to know it all. R I P.6 -
2am: I can just go to bed at 4am and get 4 hours of sleep and be fine
4am: Eh, I'll just sleep at 6am and take a nap before work.
6am: Who the fuck needs sleep? That's why I bought coffee -
Some of you know I'm an amateur programmer (ok, you all do). But recently I decided I'm gonna go for a career in it.
I thought projects to demo what I know were important, but everything I've seen so far says otherwise. Seems like the most important thing to hiring managers is knowing how to solve small, arbitrary problems. Specifics can be learned and a lot of 'requirements' are actually optional to scare off wannabes and tryhards looking for a sweet paycheck.
So I've gone back, dusted off all the areas where I'm rusty (curse you regex!), and am relearning, properly. Flash cards and all. Getting the essentials committed to memory, instead of fumbling through, and having to look at docs every five minutes to remember how to do something because I switch languages, frameworks, and tooling so often. Really committing toward one set of technologies and drilling the fundamentals.
Would you say this is the correct approach to gaining a position in 2020, for a junior dev?
I know for a long time, 'entry level' positions didn't really exist, but from what I'm hearing around the net, thats changing.
Heres what I'm learning (or relearning since I've used em only occasionally):
* Git (small personal projects, only used it a few times)
* SQL
* Backend (Flask, Django)
* Frontend (React)
* Testing with Cypress or Jest
Any of you have further recommendations?
Gulp? Grunt? Are these considered 'matter of course' (simply expected), or learn-as-you for a beginner like myself?
Is knowing the agile 'manifesto' (whatever that means) by heart really considered a big deal?
What about the basics of BDD and XP?
Is knowing how to properly write user-stories worth a damn or considered a waste of time to managers?
Am I going to be tested on obscure minutiae like little-used yarn/npm commands?
Would it be considered a bonus to have all the various HTTP codes memorized? I mean thats probably a great idea, but is that an absolute requirement for newbies, or something you learn as you practice?
During interviews, is there an emphasis on speed or correctness? I'm nitpicky, like to write cleanly commented code, and prefer to have documentation open at all times.
Am I going to, eh, 'lose points' for relying on documentation during an interview?
I'm an average programmer on my good days, and the only thing I really have going for me is a *weird* combination of ADD and autism-like focus that basically neutralize each other. The only other skill I have is talking at people's own level to gauge what they need and understand. Unfortunately, and contrary to the grifter persona I present for lulz, I hate selling, let alone grifting.
Otherwise I would have enjoyed telemarketing way more and wouldn't even be asking this question. But thankfully I escaped that hell and am now here, asking for your timeless nuggets of bitter wisdom.
What are truly *entry level* web developers *expected* to know, *right out the gate*, obviously besides the language they're using?
Also, what is the language they use to program websites? It's like java right? I need to know. I'm in an interview RIGHT now and they left me alone with a PC for 30 minutes. I've been surfing pornhub for the last 25 minutes. I figure the answer should take about 5 minutes, could you help me out and copypasta it?
Okay, okay, I'm kidding, I couldn't help myself. The rest of the questions are serious and I'd love to know what your opinions are on what is important for web developers in 2020, especially entry level developers.7 -
That's why we love NPM:
>npm install
*installing packages*
npm warn ........................
npm warn deprecated .....................
npm warn .......................
********** A million times more ***********
Oh it works! eh, just ignore every warning :)4 -
New job is turning out to be kind of the opposite of what I was expecting, based on interviews.
I thought I had done a pretty thorough job asking the kinds of challenging and specific questions during the interviews and was pretty satisfied with the answers.
Three weeks in, I’ve more or less been turned loose onto my first project which is….installing patch updates.
Next few projects through the end of the year and into Q1 next year are similarly sysadmin-chore work, which I’m not going to act like is beneath me or unimportant but it’s not quite what we talked about in the interview when I applied to an SDET position.
Point of order to talk about once I wrap up these first few projects, it doesn’t exactly seem like they know where I’m supposed to be or where to even really put me (on the org chart I have a line reporting up to boss, but I’m also the only one not on a functional team) and reading through the wiki last guy just kind of did everything.
If that’s what this is….eh I need to know if that’s how they want to use me and find out soon.11 -
Everyone ranting about how they express themselves through code.
And here I am on project where I can make almost no decisions myself.
I got into coding for the same reason as everyone else. I'm pretty good, so they put me on this project. Junior guys get all the good stuff, 'cause this project is too important. Ironic, eh?2 -
I have a lot of free time now so time to move from Debian-based to Arch-based distro :D
I simply can't choose so I just picked up Antergos. Heard a good thing or two about Manjaro but eh for now let's just randomly pick.
Once I get familiar with this, probably will move to Arch Linux itself.2 -
Spent the weekend geeking out getting my head around a proper Docker based environment for my development env at home and for the team... 90% done and I couldn't figure out why I couldn't start my Splunk instance up.... I'd set the default logging to Splunk.... Chicken & Egg probs!
But how awesome is docker with portainer and app templates eh?! -
Hi everyone my name is Dylan, but people call me solario eh im an empty web developer! no ideas in my head about what i should create next, the only thing that helps is InnerText in this senario i found my first application on school computer!!! no more web based glitchy ides i have the perfect one right here =D,9
-
Started making an Android app for the first time a few days ago and wanted a button in a fragment to trigger a function. Easy enough right? Well not for me...
-Thought if the button is in fragment_xyz.xml the function should be in xyz.kt right?
-Wrote the function and told the button to run it when clicked.
-Tested the button and the app crahsed.
-Spent 3+ hours trying to find the bug.
-Eh fuck it might as well copy paste it from the fragments file to the action the viewpager showing the fragment is on.
-Works perfectly fine first try.
-😑
I spent three fucking hours googling that and trying to debug that while I could have been doing so much more on ither parts of the app...
I mean at least I know now for the future? -
So about that job offer (https://devrant.com/rants/3654950/...)
After a weekend of deliberation, I’m going to turn down an offer with a roughly 40% raise to my current salary and the opportunity to work with a language I rly like. Sounds crazy, eh? Maybe it is, too.
However, while the raise woul’ve been great, the job itself sounded interesting enough, and I didn’t think I’d pass on such a chance, I do value my current position, colleagues, the atmosphere at the office, the way - while a little underpaid - we are taken so well care of as employees by our management. It does make for an environment where going to the office and doing your job is a joy.
I think the company I work for rn has more to offer for me, and I have more to offer to them. It’s not my time to jump the ship just yet.3 -
"Fast" random-number/sample based estimation of logarithms:
https://pastebin.com/niVB57Ay
The result of rAvg(p) is usually "pretty close" to log(p)/2
rAvg(p, 1000) seems to be the golden number. 100 is a little low, but I've already pasted the code. Eh.
Don't know why it works, or if average results are actually considered "close" for logarithms of e.7 -
I was bored so I learned HTML/CSS, I was like "eh, programming is easy!".
So I learned C next and I was like "eh, programming is kinda hard actually".
So I learned to program rather than learn a language, got back to C until I was comfortable with it.
Nothing is hard now :D2 -
Sooo cobol eeeh...?
Old legacy system still running ehh?
Eyes closed and hope for the best from management eh?
And now everybody needs them all, while simple ppl dont get their money managers just say sorry ?
Twas a timebomb and it will still be. Its hugely pathetic of those responsible to disregard their old systems and dont test them for the worst case.
Why am i trying here to deliver proper working systems with long term update schedules when ppl in charge suck with their responsibilities?3 -
EU Referendum results are in and it looks like Britain is leaving.
Scary times ahead! Good job I'm part of a global industry eh? -
Not going insane due to lack of documentation.
In retrospect it may have been that I was still learning to properly apply and read docs so eh.3 -
i started with Python 2 on Codecademy (way back before it became pay-to-play garbage) and it was... eh... it was okay. Not great, reading a book would've been more informative, but it was better than nothing.
I then made basic RNG wrappers and thought I was hot shit. For, like, 4 years.
Then I found out how to manipulate files, and took off from there. That was the moment I really took to it and i've never stopped since. -
Fuck this dieing pice of cheap chinese android crap. Sure it was anly 250 bucks, but holy hell... I could deal with the software side... Android 6 isn't the newest but eh...
But now the fucking hardware is failing too... To be more precise the buttons seam to randomly fire, which is really fucking annoying. Sometimes when both back and the other button fire the touch screen even joins the party of triggering touches in the right upper corner... Why the fuck ever.
Just ordered a pixel 3a, your days are counted fucking piece of trash!
Had to order the new one to a mailbox in germany though, as google doesn't ship them to switzerland (and the few retailers who import them charge like 130 bucks more, so paying the 5€ pickup fee will be a lot cheaper...)5 -
Functional Programming being touted as the silver bullet for all types of modern programming challenges.
Why? As far as I can tell, it doesn't deliver. Sure certain approaches help with specific kinds of problems. Yet, it is cumbersome for general purpose problems and downright harmful for performance critical problems. For doing math problems it is great and I see value. For most else, eh, I have work to do.10 -
More or less all questions related to socially adequate behaviour (hope I got the wording right)
To be honest, it makes me choke, too.
Especially when HR starts to throw bananas at the new chimp eh sorry dev ( WE do XY every week ... Oh and in christmas... Bla bla bla)
It feels like a huge privacy invasion... And very forced. Me no like.2 -
Follow up to this:
https://devrant.com/rants/6403741/
So we had today a meeting....
To restart the project, as the current state is garbage.
Turns out the whole team has after two weeks of being left alone with it - kinda like the rant says - zero clue how lucene works, what it does, what its for.
In case anyone of you wonders why some managers are micromanaging biatches, there you have it.
The whole meeting had more "oooh"... "ehm".... "eh"... and other fillwords just to cover the shame of not having any clue at all.
I'm really disappointed that a team of up to 5 people really thought they could pull a stunt of "fake it till you make it". Collectively. Really noone had a real clue.
Now to an interesting discussion: How would you devs reprimand them?
:)
Just curious. Firing is out of option, for several reasons, e.g. law.
Serious answers, I would be really curious. :)
I'm feeling sad for the socks metaphoric in the last rant btw.
Even a cum socket deserves more dignity than them imho.6 -
Up all damn night making the script work.
Wrote a non-sieve prime generator.
Thing kept outputting one or two numbers that weren't prime, related to something called carmichael numbers.
Any case got it to work, god damn was it a slog though.
Generates next and previous primes pretty reliably regardless of the size of the number
(haven't gone over 31 bit because I haven't had a chance to implement decimal for this).
Don't know if the sieve is the only reliable way to do it. This seems to do it without a hitch, and doesn't seem to use a lot of memory. Don't have to constantly return to a lookup table of small factors or their multiple either.
Technically it generates the primes out of the integers, and not the other way around.
Things 0.01-0.02th of a second per prime up to around the 100 million mark, and then it gets into the 0.15-1second range per generation.
At around primes of a couple billion, its averaging about 1 second per bit to calculate 1. whether the number is prime or not, 2. what the next or last immediate prime is. Although I'm sure theres some optimization or improvement here.
Seems reliable but obviously I don't have the resources to check it beyond the first 20k primes I confirmed.
From what I can see it didn't drop any primes, and it didn't include any errant non-primes.
Codes here:
https://pastebin.com/raw/57j3mHsN
Your gotos should be nextPrime(), lastPrime(), isPrime, genPrimes(up to but not including some N), and genNPrimes(), which generates x amount of primes for you.
Speed limit definitely seems to top out at 1 second per bit for a prime once the code is in the billions, but I don't know if thats the ceiling, again, because decimal needs implemented.
I think the core method, in calcY (terrible name, I know) could probably be optimized in some clever way if its given an adjacent prime, and what parameters were used. Theres probably some pattern I'm not seeing, but eh.
I'm also wondering if I can't use those fancy aberrations, 'carmichael numbers' or whatever the hell they are, to calculate some sort of offset, and by doing so, figure out a given primes index.
And all my brain says is "sleep"
But family wants me to hang out, and I have to go talk a manager at home depot into an interview, because wanting to program for a living, and actually getting someone to give you the time of day are two different things.1 -
So this was a conversation.
tl;dr You can't just FUCKING RECOMPILE for an older OpenGL version you dimwit!
Context: Person Y has OpenGL 3.1, my program requires OpenGL 2.1, but refused to launch with "Pixel format not accelerated"
--------
Person X - Today at 9:28 PM
Nope
or optionally compile it for old opengl
Or just use my old junk.
Me - Today at 9:29 PM
No
Person X - Today at 9:29 PM
Why?
Me - Today at 9:29 PM
You don't just "compile it for old opengl"
Person X - Today at 9:29 PM
I can
Btw
Me - Today at 9:29 PM
For one, Person Y has an OGL version new enough so... /shrug
Person X - Today at 9:29 PM
shrug
Me - Today at 9:30 PM
And there is no way I'm ripping the rendering code apart and re-doing everything with glBegin, glVertex, glEnd guff
Person X - Today at 9:30 PM
You don't have to
Me - Today at 9:30 PM
You do
Person X - Today at 9:30 PM
Just use a vbo
Than a vba
Me - Today at 9:30 PM
I ALREADY USE FUCKING VBOS
Person X - Today at 9:30 PM
....
There's two typws
Types
Btw one with indacys and one with out
Ones 3.0 ones 4.0
Me - Today at 9:31 PM
tl;dr. I am not rewriting half of everything for worse performance just for the sake of being compatible with even more legacy OGL, that might not even work anyway for Person Y. idc
Person X - Today at 9:32 PM
Plus if your using glut you can set the version I want to say
Also it's not worse
<Some more conversation>
Person X - Today at 9:33 PM
Btw crafted [Me] taking th lazy way as normal
Btwx500
Me - Today at 9:33 PM
Taking the lazy way eh.
You have no idea do you
Person X - Today at 9:33 PM
Yes you are
I have more of one :p
Than you think2 -
Started learning php from youtubeversity.. then started teaching kids php, helps you alot too (to teach)..
Then I started at the University.. eh, its easy mode, when you already learned object oriented programming ..
Youtube, stackoverflow, looking through other people's code, editing it, breaking it, fixing it and various tutorials really helps alot.
Still where I get my information, not the University. But it depends on which type of person you are2 -
Again got an email(pseudospam) from a service I subscribed to (yes I did). It says the email is from CEO and it's supposed to be X-mas wish + invitation to their youtube channel. It was, kind of...
But the words they (or he, but I hope not) used in the email! It was so obviously blank, such uninteresting-president-speech. It was even targeted as a spam by gmail. In a foreign lang.
I mean... if you want to reach to your customers, sit on your ass and imagine _yourself_ reading an email that's long, its point was lost somewhere in the fourth sentence and magically appeared at the end + even default mail filter targets it as a spam.
That's what you get from a service. Motivational crap and blank words. Many thanks, I haven't heard a lot of those lately, eh?! -
Been way too long since I did something that wasn't WordPress, so I decided to take some spare time this weekend to scratch-build something and get around to finally learning how to transition from Foundation 5 to 6 while I'm at it (since jQuery compatibility requirements mandate I finally make that jump going forward...).
Started off with a plan for a custom-designed CMS built around a personal research project I've been doing. Worked it all out mentally. Then got started and realized I probably want to start by securing the system and provisioning for user accounts, so I've been working on that all weekend so far...
On the plus side, I've written a pretty nice user management module for any future personal projects, and have *finally* gotten around to learning how to do prepared statements in MySQLi.
On the neutral side, I still haven't gotten around to building any of the substantive stuff I set out to work on this weekend because I've been helping a friend out IRL with some non-programming stuff.
Such is the way it goes, eh? Hoping tonight I'll finally finish up with the administrative items and be able to get down to building the actual meat of the project. -
My master thesis is in ramble.
What I thought to be an achievable task in the beginning turns out to be very challenging.
My skill is not up to it.
The assistant prof I worked with is also not very helpful. I thought he's already familiar with the lib I will work with, turns out he's not so I have to study it by myself.
Me : **Asking question A**
Him : **Explaining B, C, D that's not really related to A. My question went unanswered.
Him giving me explanation on things that I already knew**
Me : "How about this code? Can we please focus on the code?!"
Him : **Finally explains the code so I can move forward a little**
Apparently I have to grow fangs and horns to scare people to give me what I want. :/
He and my prof are not in sync about how to solve the task.
They told me that even though I was behind my deadline (30% progress at 50% time), I still have some time before the deadline of the thesis.
The truth is, if I no longer believe that I can solve it, even if they gave me a time extension, it's going to be useless.
My motivation of finishing it is fading away. It's not a subject that I enjoy, the people I work with are not helpful.
I have been in depression for 2 months, and it's taking a toll on my health.
I am seriously considering dropping it and just let go of my master degree. There are many people who can work in IT even though they don't have proper formal education eh?5 -
Was working on setting up a ci/CD pipeline. The ci part with automated testing and deployment to a on-premise docker registry worked already, so I thought "hey I could try to actually run one of those fresh containers" so I tried it with the usual docker run command.. "Manifest not found" suddenly appeared, it confused me a bit since I used the same url I used for publishing... So I googled around only to find NOTHING that is even remotely connected to my issue. "Eh let's let the guy that runs that registry fix it" was what I thought and called it a day. The next day I was eager to try it again and checked the urls case by case only to notice that I wrote secret-project-backend-client instead of secret-project-api.. I tried it with the new name and it worked!
Never felt so retarded in my life.... -
My JIRA fanatic manager: log whatever you do during the day, even the smallest things are important. and you have all the material needed for next day's standup meet.
me, on a particular tuesday:
had lunch
peed thrice
bitched about an unreasonable bug raised by the testing team
listened to Rihanna's song Diamonds
had four mugs of coffee
, among various other things.
next day.
manager: so, ssup?
me: eh, didn't do much yesterday. was one of those down days I guess.
Guess who was asked to write "didn't do much yesterday" on all the JIRA tickets assigned to him? -
I've actually already discussed this one on here I believe
I see this job looking for an android developer for Kotlin with UI experience with XD & Figma and experience with Firebase. I have all of these qualifications so I throw my resume into the fray within an 2 hours the recruiters contact me. they have an offer of 76,000 and I'm looking for junior so I'm like, eh whatever, I give them a copy of my resume and we hold discussion for a few days and then radio silence. I then see a job posting EXTREMELY similar but with a "different company" so I throw my resume in and again within 2 hours I get a call only THIS TIME ITS THE INTERNAL HR. She sounds interested we have a good conversation and sets me up for 96,000 and they schedule me for my first interview within the week. Interview goes great, next I meet with the CTO and we have a pretty good conversation, I'm expecting a technical exam but it doesn't happen instead they give me a case study. they send me requirements for an app API to use, architecture, and a week time span to do it. I finish the app with extra features within 6 days, in my understanding of MVVM and I was excited and happy about this app because its JUST NICE. a week goes by and I meet with the tech team. They grill me on my application, scalability, use cases, how would I advertise or place advertisement and I'm answering everything they love the UI (I included mockups I made on XD), they say everything sounds good everyone leaves with smiles they say they have to find out on what team to place me because they have multiple apps and that HR will be in contact with me in the next few days... A WEEK GOES BY and I randomly get the declination email that next Friday. When I asked for feedback they said it wasn't true MVVM. I was devastated until the next week when I was accepted for a higher paying job that didn't require me to move. After I accepted this job guess who calls? THE FIRST RECRUITER and for this long I was wondering if this was the same job due to the very similar job description so I ask "is your client XXXXXXX?" it was I just told him "I'm good" and hung up4 -
BLOODY FIREFOX DEVELOPER TOOLS
I was troubleshooting an app (inside container) hitting an endpoint. For debugging purposes I tried hitting the endpoint from my machine, but always got a 404.
So in the firefox developer tools under the network section you see all of the requests happening. Every request, application/json or url-encoded, lists its parameters inside the tab 'parameters' tab. I thought that means those parameters were i side the request body.
Turns out I should have sent the parameters as url encoded instead of POSTing JSON as the request body. This took me way too long.
Why not display the request url like http://url?key=value ... Firefox? Eh?7 -
Well, I've been learning to program and hopefully I can make my drea-eh... I have no idea what to make!2
-
Recent VM/Emulation Adventures:
The goal was to get TCP/IP and SSH running on whatever weird VM/emulated machine, and connect to the chatroom at chat.tcp.direct successfully.
Longhorn, somewhere late pre-reset: Crashes right after installer begins "Starting Windows", 0x7b from sum-match ISO. Fail.
TempleOS (well, Shrine, but y'know): Dear god. No. No, I am not writing SSH in HolyC myself *fuck that,* fail.
Slackware: oh ffs i gotta use fdisk to partition this damn thing? and it's not even the good fdisk? Oh, wait... it hangs. Fail.
WinME: shockingly, was *fairly* stable... until it hung up WASAPI and the hypervisor two frames into desktop rendering. Fail.
Mac OS 7: First-boot after install, immediate unknown trap. Just works, eh? Fail.
Amiga: After about 85 resets and 7 hours of constant fighting with WinUAE, I finally got TCP/IP working. (Required 10MB of total RAM and an FPU to connect.) Success!
Win98FE: just... PuTTY and done. Easy. (This was the warmup.) Success...
Other people's achievements so far:
- Minecraft using the new QEMU interface mod thing.
- Hacked smart fridge.
- iPhone, from custom initramfs.6 -
Dear Bethesda, Long time no rant eh?
So, I Pre-ordered your mess called Fallout 76! I was hyped! But you fucktards just fucked everything from behind...
Shit Graphics, over 1001 bugs, everything...
I didnt play it much so, I didnt think about it until now... now when my Drives called, "Porn", "more porn" and "a fuckton of porn" are full, and whats the biggest game ive installed? Yes. Fallout 76... I uninstalled this mess and wanted a refund of my 95.60CHF, Which is A LOT for a game... and you fucks lurking in the background replied with "players who have downloaded the game are not eligible for a refund." Aka: "We now have your money, bought some cheap hookers with it, and now dont have it anymore JK LOOOOL XDDD"
Yeah, and my friend who wanted a refund, got it. Fuck off bethesda, take your shitty shit of a shit piece of shit game with you and fly away with it.
I cant take it anymore...
OH, AND DID I MENTION YOU PUT AN AD ON YOUR MAIL?! Like this:
We have your money now, but please waste more on it on our other shit games.
FUCK OFF!19 -
I've though about this off and on but we all know 1st and 3rd party companies. What about 2nd companies though? I mean think about it Apple is the first party company and Mojang is the third party company. What about the second company though? I know I know I just could look it up on Google but eh!3
-
Any of you are annoyed by your non-technical manager work practices?
Every release I feel like our manager's goal is to have our planning and results look good in front of higher management, no matter if it is true or not.
Oh this big task could not be done because we had to plan 4 months in advance with no info and poorly done requirements? Well let's just push it to the next release we can't have unfinished tasks logged in.
Oh we don't have time to work on tech debt and refactoring, there are too many features and bugfixes to do. Well maybe that is why there are so many bugs, eh?
Oh your automated test results need to all look perfect, does not matter if your test are even good or actually doing anything in the first place, as long as it passes.
Also, I was promised agile and got a waterfall-like bullshit process instead that barely works.
Anyways just morning rambling.1 -
Took my first PTO today since joining the new company to get my wisdom teeth extracted. Already took care of that first thing this morning. Now I actually get to kick back and listen to some records until my new GPU is delivered, and then I get to fuck off the rest of the weekend with new games because my wife says I can't do any yard work this weekend.
Only had the top two extracted because I was born without the bottoms I guess. But less pain on my wallet and my jaw, I'll happily trade in the narcotics they gave me and stick to my scotch.
Not a bad 3 day weekend in my book. Ill have to go back and figure out who/what broke the projection runner in the sandbox environment when I go back, but eh. that's a Monday problem now. 😎4 -
So today I thought I’ll try svelte. It was an horrible experience if I compare it to stencil.
I have to install four extensions just to make the file format working properly.
Half of the intellisense is wrong or just slow.
The formatter is not integrated as an vs-code formatter, therefor it can’t format on save automatically.
The source maps do indeed work, but is quite wonky at times. Typescript source code is shown as-is with types, which breaks chrome’s syntax highlighter.
Personally, I dislike template languages simply because I always have to look at the docs for the correct usage, just let me use the stuff I know from JavaScript!
I could also rant about a few small things like the on:something syntax, but eh, that’s it for now. I don’t think I’ll understand why so many like it.3 -
!rant
This situation, when you are working as external employee in a company that needs you to test safety-critical systems.
You wait months for "THE" (internal) test tool you have to use to implement your specified tests.
Finally , you meet with the responsible dev guy to let him setup everything.
Me: Hi, I'm here for setting up the test tool for project XY
Dev: Eh? No one (manger) ordered the tool for project XY!
Me: -
Filthy Pollo: import {globalStore} from '../main.js'
Filthy Pollo: is that unstandard javascript?
Filthy Pollo: it makes me think it's from webpack
Filthy Pollo: unforgiving...
Ron Chi: i wont answer these questions again
Ron Chi: i already told u chrome supports imports its been a few months
Ron Chi: modules are evaled once, so if u have some state living in ur module if u reimport it ull just get that same state
Ron Chi: myModule.js - const myShit = { 'a': 'eh?' }; export { myShit };
Filthy Pollo: https://i.imgur.com/1X4Taik.png
Filthy Pollo: gg
Ron Chi: index.js - import { myShit } from './myModule.js'
Filthy Pollo: import and export are unexcepted token
Ron Chi: import needs to be used at the top of a file, before any other code
Filthy Pollo: https://i.imgur.com/myrrIMx.png
Filthy Pollo: Im going to assume import and export aren't supported in the browser
Ron Chi: because ur squigly line in ur editor?
Filthy Pollo: This feature is only implemented natively in Safari and Chrome at this time. It is implemented in many transpilers, such as the Traceur Compiler, Babel or Rollup.
Ron Chi: https://github.com/paulirish/...
Ron Chi: actually i dont think its handled properly by babel, webpack handles it
Filthy Pollo: what the fuck why use import and export that wont work in other browsers like firefox, edge, etc. ?
Ron Chi: because other browsers are slow
Ron Chi: its still standard
Filthy Pollo: your answer is not really professional
Ron Chi: ?
Ron Chi: why because its my fault that other browsers are still working on it
Ron Chi: they fought over implementation details forever, than it has to be implemented properly before shipping it
Filthy Pollo: Im blaming the people who are still using export and import in the browsers
Ron Chi: u wont be using modules without transpiling without some limited market for a couple years, otherwise ull still be using rollup / system.js / webpack
Filthy Pollo: obviously webpack
Ron Chi: thats up to you, it seems the google ppl use rollup
Ron Chi: but most of the community chose webpack
Ron Chi: angular 2 uses system.js internally i think
Filthy Pollo: Firefox 54 – behind the dom.moduleScripts.enabled setting in about:config.
Edge 15 – behind the Experimental JavaScript Features setting in about:flags.
Filthy Pollo: nobody wants to be bothered to change settings in flags
Filthy Pollo: the developers who use experimental features are weirdos as hell
Filthy Pollo: the joke is when they use experimental feature for production and force them to download chrome
Filthy Pollo: Monopoly as hell
Filthy Pollo: Corruption of User Experience -
OK. We've got this tiny little pet project of mine (work related)…
I rescued it from the git archive, simply put: someone hot glued an elasticsearch scroll + document processor (processing) together.
After a lot of refactoring, I had an simple, much improved (non-parallel) Akka Worker System without an Akka topology / hierarchy.
I left out the hierarchy at first, because I didn't know Akka at all.
I've worked with a lot of process workflows, and some systems that come very close to IPC, so I wasn't completely in the dark.
Topology requires knowledge / creation of a state machine / process workflow. And at that point of time I just had... Garbage. Partially working garbage.
I finished yesterday the rewrite into several actors... Compared to before, there are 8 actors vs 2... And round about 20 classes more. Mostly since I rewrote the Receive Methods of Akka as Command DTOs... And a lot of functions needed to be seperated into layers (which where non existent before)
Since that felt more natural than the previous chaos of passing strings or other primitive types around, or in the worst case just object....
(Yes: Previously an Actor was essentially a class with one or more functions "doEverything" and maybe a few additional functions which did everything - from Rest Client to Processing)).
Then I draw the actual state machine based on everything I've written in the last weeks and thought about how to create the actual topology and where / how parallelizing might make sense.
Innocent me stumbled in the Akka Docs on Akka Typed... (Didn't know it existed, since I'm very new to Java and Akka).
Hm, that sounds an a lot like what I did. In an different way, yes. But not so different that it might be VERY hard to port to.... And I need to change (for implementation of hierarchy) a few classes....
[I should have known at this stage that my curiosity would get the best of me, but yeah. Curiosity killed the cat.]
Actually the documentation is not bad. It's just that upon reading the first more complex examples, my brain decided to go into panic state.
The've essentially combined all classes in one class in all source code examples [which makes sense more sense later], where it is fscking hard for an chaotic brain like mine to extract information....
https://doc.akka.io/docs/akka/...
The thing is: It's not hard to understand… actually very simple.
It was just my brain throwing an fuck you tantrum.
So I've opened more examples in other tabs and cross referenced what happened there and why...
Few frustrated hours later I got that part.... And the part why it's called Akka Typed. It was pretty simple....
Open the gates of hell, bloody satan that was too easy for fucks sake.
Nooooow.... I just need to port my stuff to Akka Typed.
Cause. Challenge accepted, bitch - eh brain. You throw tantrum, you work overtime. -.-
I just cannot decide wether to go FP or OOP.
Now... I'm curious wether FP is that hard... Hadn't dealt with it at large before.
Can someone please stop me... I'm far too curious again. -.- *cries*6 -
My biggest problem is my family as gentle as I can put it (wife and 3 kids) which require a lot of attention so it's easy to say "eh that website can wait my family needs x,y,z." I'm no master but I've gotten better at this by leaving my home for 1-2hrs a day and going to my local coffee shop to work. My mind knows now by this point that when I'm there I'm there to work and that's it, has worked wonders for me.1
-
This *is* a question you silly wrong tagging mother fucker, how dare you doubt me?
Alright, no more disclaimer: I like dungeons and dragons, but it's too fucking much in terms of rules and systems and shit, as in just *making* a character can take a long ass while.
And if that's the highest level of all your ANAL preferences then OK, but I'm not you and things only come OUT of my ass, not inwards, I swear.
Anyhoo, I got fed up with it and wrote my own ruleset and setting as a last fuck you to everyone. It's very simple: if you want to be some kinky magical alien hermaphrodite royal prostitute half sewer dragon princess and three quarters bearded female incest child of demons and fairies then FINE, but you get no bonuses for that shit.
Get it? No complex racial level scaling bullshit, FUCK YOU, race and background is just for vibes, end of story.
You get no attribute or skills or shit to distribute on level one. All you get is a prompt: pick three actions, that's it. You wanna be sexy? Pick "seduce". You wanna set turds on fire? Pick "ignite". Are you an edge lord? Pick "summon". Would you be my wife? Pick "heal", "buff" and "smite".
The game is turn based, and each action you can take is effectively a spell. Everyone can cast a basic spell like walk, attack, talk, crouch, etcetera -- that costs no mana. Special crap like flying and firing fucking electricity costs mana, and you can only do those if you either picked the spell on level one or learnt it later from a book/tutor/demonic bargain/whatever.
Which spells are valid for taking at level one is up to the game master; I just tell people to pick three verbs or short sentences, and if they choose something that's too broken like "split the Red Sea" I'm like nah you're not Moses, try again.
Still with me? Good. You get eight points of health, four points of mana, and one point of stamina. They're all energy, and you can use it to power your magery, but spending all your health means you fucking die.
Stamina recharges fully every turn, and is used for the aforementioned basic actions. All of these cost one point of stamina each. If you run out of stamina, you can use mana. Or your BLOOD.
Level one spells cost one mana, level two cost two and so on. You get back one point of mana each turn, and you can fire all the spells you want during it, long as you have mana. Or BLOOD.
That's good and all, but if you spend anywhere over eleven combined points of energy in one go, you spontaneously combust and die, erasing all signs of life in a twenty-meter radius. This is called incineration, and it *will* leave behind a blackened crater from which the dark servants of the Horror Immemorial may or may not crawl out of.
In case you didn't guess by now, your blood doesn't fucking come back unless you eat, sleep or see a healer.
But anyway, the more points you spend into casting a spell -- and remember, basic attack counts as a spell -- the more powerful it is, so the bigger your diceroll can get. My rule is I add one dice for every fourth point of energy spent, so (1d4), (1d4 + 1d6), (1d4 + 1d6 + 1d8), incineration.
Additionally, for every three points of energy spent, your spell can hit one more target. That's right, you like AoE? Then spend more mana, bitch. Oh, and if you're using shit like poison it lasts one more turn for every two points of energy spent.
How do we calculate damage? Diceroll over two and fuck your mother. Armor class? Resistances? Out of my face with that shit. Damage reduction is called "tyranny" and is for dungeon bosses only.
If you live long enough to get to level two, you *do* get attributes. Pick:
- Grit: +2 health, +1 to fighter shit type rolls.
- Cunning: +2 mana, +1 to rogue shit type rolls.
- Allure: +1 stamina, +2 to wizard shit type rolls.
- Spirit: +1 to elemental shit type spells.
- Faith: +1 to benefactor paragon asshole shit type spells.
- Hatred: +1 to demonic murder hobo destructive shit type spells.
On second level, you can pick one of the spells you know to get +1 to it, specifically. Eh, "+1" just means you get a bonus to some diceroll, no time to explain I'm running out of characters what the fuck.
On level three, the cycle repeats. Pick attr, pick spell. DONE.
Oh right, and weapons. Mostly just vibes, pick your fancy and fuck off. Normally, you can hit things one tile away; if you have a BIG melee weapon you can hit from *two* tiles away, and if you have a ranged weapon you can shoot anyone in sight, but you need to spend one point of energy to reload.
And there, all bases covered in less that 5000 characters with some flair to spare, now suck my fucking cock Hasbro.
What was the question? Oh yeah right, I'm gonna GPL this shit and put it in browsers. I think I'm going to write it in Kotlin but I'm open to suggestions. Would you guys like to play it/contribute to it's development for shits and giggles?9 -
Thats top notch design.
All actions happening on the page go to one endpoint. Removing old trusted computers, changing the password, changing 2FA, you name it.
Now if you want to remove all old trusted devices, you cannot remove all at once, there is no button for it. So you click one after the other. And then it stops working. Ok, then do the normal password rotation. Hmm, button has a loading spinner and then nothing happens.
Looking into the browser console:
- All requests go to /myaccount/security/graphql
- All requests get a 429 Too many requests
- Even if you just click a panel, it tracks the action to the graphql endpoint. Or at least tries to because even that gets shot down with a 429
Pretty dumb, eh? Must be some small shitty website. It's not. It's fucking paypal. -
I'm wasting fucking hours to crop a fucking svg file!
I swear, I tried in all the ways, firstly I didn't want to download a software so I searched for some online editor, I tried fucking 10 of them, but none of these had a way to crop images. How the hell should I be able to craft images if I'm not able to decide the size, eh?
I read online that inkscape gives a lot of problems when it's about to crop images, and of course I didn't want to pay illustrator to fucking crop a file, so in the end I decided to give a chance to inkscape. The website gives me 502 bad gatweay.
Ok.
FUCKING CROP AN IMAGE.
2018.
TWO THOUSAND AND EIGHTEEN2 -
There was a time where Nvidia drivers took few minutes to install. Looks like I missed that time, eh?
Have been waiting here for at least 30 minutes and it is still "Preparing to install". Thanks Nvidia. -
There's no good way to describe the feeling of fixing a bug but having no idea how you did it. You stash, hard reset, toy around, fix it again... and still don't know what you did, but decide, "Eh. Whatever I guess."
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Im trying my BEST to not be judgemental about my boss but damn the code's shit
It's written how a 1st year UGrad would, trying to add as many complicated shits to it as they can to show "see? I know this obscure way of writing code, cool eh"
Like they're ticking off a rubrics
There is no design language, barely any structure. MVC's Controllers go beyond 2.5k lines.
Everything is an Interface but with such horribly designed code, they just add on to the clutter
Oh and it somehow also uses ReactJS inside .cshtml, which was already out of fashion A DECADE AGO. -
* Find something you don't really know or haven't used in your language of choice
* Push that feature in your architecture
* write shit code because the feature really shouldn't be there -
Basic story on what this is:
This function when applied a @SideOnly(Side.CLIENT) shouldn't complain that it must be applied on a Side.SERVER.. but IDEA is being a troll and justs complains that this is an issue and must be applied on a Side.SERVER .. but it compiles so eh... i will just let it be... -
We'll it began as a hobby when I was little... I guess around 7-8 when we got our first computer, now it's my career.
Quite an impact eh? -
eh, i get pretty nice project ideas about twice a month and some lousy ones about once a week but i am such a shitty coder and designer that i simply gave up on that.
i wish there was such a job. -
Telling my non-coding friends I'm working on a cool personal project that I'm really passionate about:
Friend "Oh yeah sounds good.. That's, eh, nice, (Tension is building) ..LISTEN I HAVE THIS IDEA, maybe we can work something out? (Looking at me like they have invented the light bulb)
Me: -_-1 -
Spent like all week working on a feature set in a web app, finally got to a point where i thought it was functioning well, ran tests, tests passed.
I was exhausted but happy. All along i have been pushing to my GitLab server. I save my commits and even though exhausted, i am happy as i go to bed.
I wake up, run some errands and my business partner says, eh! Can i come see that new feature set you built, sure, i will be home soon.
I was at the barbershop, trying to look like a human being again. I get home boot my computer and i scream.....
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh
I check GitLab, i check my Git Log and i start to sweat, i was in the air conditioner but it felt like someone turned the heat up.
Git log shows my last commit was 2 days ago, my app is at the state it was 2 days ago and i can't frigging find all i have built.
I need to show this to the client, have no idea what to do now, so stressful. My partner say, you know what, just watch a movie. You built it before, you will do it again.
This happened to him a while ago and i gave him similar advice, it felt wicked hearing it now.
Anyways, i have to build that ish all over again, i do know i wasn't dreaming about having built it. I asked my wife and she said, i did, i was always working. So confusing.
Anyone experienced this before, i have no idea how to find my code.
Help Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee4 -
My misses said she was to young for me as I occasionally drop I'm a bit of Brb, brt wtf etc.. into my messages (I don't like lol), and thus she responds with this:
"U need someone who knows what the fuck those silly little letters mean! "
My messages are childish, eh dear?1 -
Gf asked me to help her with getting science articles. She had some page that her university suggested students to use, but had troubles with downloading documents.
At first I was like "Hey, it says use IE, other browsers are not supported. Thats bad but.. whatever". Then it popped that she needs Java enabled - well, I guess we have to... Even updated it cause it was needed.
Restarted IE, clicked download again and... Java security blocked web app... Eh, I don't trust it but whatever, just let's check what if I whitelist it.
Got some basic view, 1 dropdown list for "file name format" (like anybody cares), path selection where to save file, and some checkbox. Lame, but let's just leave it behind.
Downloaded, it turned out to be html file, not pdf, fishy that it was single file, but hoped for some text styled with css, so I opened it and got redirected to page where I clicked download.
Checked that file content - html with empty body and script tag containing js that redirects on load.
Srsly?😐2 -
That moment when you think you are earning above average salary and levels.fyi punctures that ego by showing that you are well below the median.
*sigh
But hey at least I'm not dependent on esops. That's good, right? Right?2 -
I was late with getting into programming and only started considering it after completing an education in animation before (unwillingly) working jobs outside of that field for a few years.
I had to really dig to try and figure out what I'd enjoy doing, and it's when I asked myself what I enjoyed about things in the past like railroad tycoon that I got on the track (eh?) of putting stuff together and making it work.
I remember seeing my friend play and I was screaming internally at his "who cares it works" solutions. When we later played ottd I would try to set up my stuff so that it was readable and because I realized how annoying it is when I can't figure out what my friend's tracks are supposed to do without asking him.
I was basically a developer all along. It's just that my only programming language was railroad tracks and signals. -
God I need to so something new
Literally everything is a reminder
Was life great ?
Eh
Varied
This didn't last that long
But what I miss is when people made moving experience and art captures with people as their "job"
Not this weird sicky shit everything devolved into
I feel I should leave this state soon once again heh for where
Who knows
Feels like the people creating these scenes of peace beauty and clean lust didn't appreciate or understand them
Instead for them it's Clacking doors and other weird crap they take some strange meaning from
Maybe Colorado is in it's less fucked up stage
I doubt it
There is an escape hatch somewhere5 -
Nothing beats the feeling after designing a great, versatile function that can handle everything you can throw at it, and then realizing that actually you've built it to translate two (2) strings.
But eh, at least it's extendable! -
Can anybody point me to some really good resources, guides, videos etc for umbraco website development.
Our firm has inherited a couple of these sites from another company and your's truly has to somehow or other maintain them. I've set up a windows host and migrated the sites and everything is running fine but I'd love to know how I go about making an umbraco site from new. I've got visual studio etc and am willing to learn ASP.net, C# etc.
I've always been an PHP/MYSQL dev using open source stuff, and always thought that I'd burst into flames if I touched anything Microsoft but this stuff looks like it might be useful. Whoever would have thought eh? -
Goals, eh? Lemme see...
- Graduate so I can get that raise I was promised.
- Finally get started on some side projects and/or have the time to contribute to some projects, OSS or not.
- Learn Haskell and Kotlin properly
- General improvement (learn, learn and learn)10 -
you know now I remember why I stopped watching downton abbey.
downton abbey got depressing as shit
mr mercedes got stupid
the upcoming season of dr death I didn't like when I saw it, because well, its really just about a new psycho doctor killing people eh ?1 -
FML so I have recently learned I am mandated (nodoby asked me if I wanted to do it, management just assumed I would) to help and train an offshore SQA team with 10 hours of jet lag to automate their tests on physical hardware because everything they do is manual and their environment is all mocked including hardware... there is barely any doc on how they test their shit or on what they even do. I need them to show me their shit work on goddamn zoom. And then once I manage to do this by some fucking miracle, I need to show them how to take over my already automated project.
Dudes cannot even code, how the fuck am I supposed to do this? Worse is I was told I can't impose our tested infrastructure and libs on them because "we have to give them flexibility" or some bullshit.
Fucking pay cheaply 5 people offshore to get fuck all done and then put the weight on my shoulders when you are surprised it does not work? You bunch of management fucks, eh?
Lucky I am getting some shiny offers elsewhere.3 -
So on my new position I get to work on Spark jobs. Never had to work with the infamous big data technologies. I never thought this would get SO frustrating for all the wrong reasons.
I'm currently trying to introduce integration tests for some Spark job I wrote. This isn't trivial though, as the data comes from several HBase tables. Mocking everything simply isn't feasible. So why not use the integrated HBaseTestingUtility? With it you can start a mini cluster that runs all nessecary services in the scope of your test.
Sounds great, eh? WRONG. Firstly the used mapr dependencies get in the way. The baked in configuration tries to automatically authenticate with your local cluster through Kerberos. Of course this doesn't work. And of course there is no way to reconfigure this as it happens IN A FUCKING STATIC BLOCK. AHHHH.
Ok. So after calming down I "simply" had to exclude all mapr dependencies and replace them with vanilla ones. After two days of dependency hell it FINALLY works!
...or does it? Well now we need test data. For that we got a map reduce algorithm that can import dumps. Sounds again, great, eh? WROOOONNNG.
The fucking map reduce mini cluster can't start, as it tries to write a symlink. Now take a wild guess what the sys admin here blocked. Yepp. TWO DAYS OF WORK RENDERED USELESS, BECAUSE OF SOME FUCKING SECURITY SETTING.
This is fine. -
I installed arch on a 2012 MacBook pro today, that was fun, learned a lot more about Linux. Now, I don't know which DE to use.
I would use KDE, but last time I used it(recently) it reset the desktop configuration upon every boot, wiping panels and stuff. I'm sick of GNOME and Cinnamon, and XFCE is eh. Maybe i3?
Leave suggestions!1 -
I'm not going to have my source code stolen this time if noone steals yours. now how much more diplomatic a solution could there be eh ? guess they made the mistake of stealing heh.6
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Friday afternoon.
Close to finish a Task that took quite some time and research.
Loose connection to Server.Try some stuff.. Eh, okay restart.
Can't login. Windows account is banned. WTF?
Now I have to spend the whole weekend with this close to be solved problem in my head.. -
So how about all the decent jobs this guy could do eh ?
Can't be doing heavy lifting if it's designed to break the body at this age -
student: eh, eslint is only to enforce our code to be more readable to you, you're a lazy teacher!
*sigh*2 -
Eh...
Any guy with ETL tool background?
Is it worth learning Talend?
Our workplace decided to use this for data integration but I'm not sure this thing is currently used or not.
I've also researched a bit about other alternatives but as I've no background in this area I'm unable to decide. -
Ok so potangina. Send ng send ka ng screenshot sa bago mong kaibigan mo na high class kuno tapos sasabihan kaagad ako ng negative edi wow ka.. Pwede mo naman ichat saakin direct to the point, tapos sa iba mo pa sasabihin aba potangina mo pala eh ano ka bading? Ang pabebe mo sobra. Kesyo hindi mo kaya, bading talaga bwiset ka matapilok ka sanang gago ka tapos sana masira yang laptop mo gago ka2
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Ever regretted leaving a job after quitting it for a while, only to remember all the shit you had to go through to them think that it was an amazing decision to leave.
Imagine this loop happening every few months. It's amazing how stupid your brain can be eh.
Share your stories of a nightmare job but now you are living a life with living.