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PROBLEM: A tickets' company came to us last autumn. They said they have severe performance problems and asked us to help.
SOLUTION: covid and quarantines. All events have been ceased, noone's buying any tickets any more. Performance problems are no more. FIXED.
PROBLEM: Another company came to us recently. They said they have severe performance problems with their huge databases and asked us to help.
SOLUTION: a few days of heavy rain and their datacenter was flooded. along with the backup servers. No more data, no more performance problems with large databases. FIXED
Solving problems genie style!
Who's next?8 -
Sleep❌
Coffee❌
Bugs✅
Fixed bugs✅
More bugs✅
Curse bugs✅✅✅✅
Fixed bugs✅
Commit✅
Cry✅✅
18 hours✅
Heading home for sleep ❕7 -
Girlfriend: How was your day?
Me: Oh, Grand broke stuff fixed it,
broke more stuff, fixed that. then almost nearly got something kinda doing what i want.3 -
My day in a nutshell:
Fixed the app.
Broke the app.
Fixed the app.
Broke the app.
Reverted all changes from repo.
Fixed app.
Found new bug.
Ugh....1 -
QA: Please Look at this Defect.
Me: Okay not a problem!
QA: Thanks
Me: <Starts to look at Defect>
QA: 2 mins later. Do you have an ETA on when it will be fixed?
Me: Not yet, I'm still looking at it.
QA: Do you know what time it can be fixed? I have a deadline.
Me: I don't know what's wrong yet, I can't tell you when it will be fixed if I don't know what's wrong.
QA: Okay. Update Me.
Me: Opens Dev Rant.5 -
Multiple weird ones but one specifically where I fixed a bug over and over again and the second I pushed and deployed, the fix was gone both locally and remote.
I kept going more and more crazy and had rage attacks and such.
"Wait what, I changed and fixed this.. Let's try again"
"Huh, I definitely changed this..."
"Oh no, I fucking changed you"
"Go fuck yourself, I fixed this and pushed already, you can't just fucking disappear on me!"
"Oh yeah no of course, disappeared again, totally fucking logical. GET BACK HERE"
"I FIXED YOU A GAZILLION TIMES ALREADY, DON'T YOU DISAPPEAR ON ME AGAIN"
*NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. I. FUCKING. FIXED. YOU"
It went worse and worse for a while and then I woke up with a "....ahh" feeling 😅2 -
If Stack Overflow really crashed it would never be fixed since the devs would be stuck refreshing Stack Overflow forever.2
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That moment when you fixed all weird errors in Android Studio by frankensteining two projects together.
4 -
I'm seriously considering never doing fixed rate projects for clients ever again. The conversation will likely go like this, though:
"How much to build my website?"
"$100/hour."
"Sorry, I don't think you heard me correctly. I asked how much to build the whole website."
"$150/hour"
"Wait, you changed the rate! Why won't you give me a fixed cost?"
"Why won't you pay me for my time?"
"Because I can get it done for a cheaper fixed cost somewhere else!"
"But how do you know that's actually cheaper?"
"What do you mean?"
"We pad fixed price projects precisely because we fear not being fully paid for our time."
"Oh."16 -
About a year ago I switched my job.
At the start everything seemed like magic. I was the It director, I've finally was able to call the shots on technologies, on new software architecture.
First step was to check the current state of the company.
"qqqq" as each pc password? Ok
No firewall from outside? Lovely
Servers running on Windows Server 2008? Spectacular
People leaving pc on after work and left the machine unlocked just not to type the password? Hell yeah
The IT dude playing games instead of working? But ofcourse
Plaintext passwords publically accessible eshop? Naturally.
The list goes on and on.
After all this time, I'm working to fix every hole like that like crazy and because it doesn't show results, I'm soon to lose my job. Well better luck next time as an intern I guess :')19 -
Fuck you css!
Today I discovered (by losing some hours) that "position: fixed" has an exception when deciding where to position elements:
If the element with position fixed is inside an element with a transform, that element is treated has the viewport instead of the screen.
Why the fuck did someone thought that was a good idea?4 -
Just Fixed a major issue in my code and the Sun came out at the same time! I feel like should I go out and scream on my balcony!4
-
Boss: "How much time do you get this bug fixed?"
Me: "Give me 20 minutes"
*4 hours later*
Me: "fixed is in the repository"
Boss: "You're getting to much time to do your assignments"
Me: *Damn it*
I suck doing estimates 😥7 -
Multi-billion dollar company - don't write fucking changelogs
At least write "Fixed some fucking bugs" or something...
Is it that hard?
13 -
Who is agree with this CSS, and how it could be optimized?
#wife {
right: 100%;
margin: 0;
position: fixed;
}13 -
!rant
Me: sudo apt-get update
PC: Noope. There is a problem with a package.
Me: Ugh... ok I'll fix it. *20 minutes later* Fixed. Sudo apt-get update
PC: Noope, the package cache file is corrupted.
Me: GO FUCK YOURSELF LINUX OMFG.
Oh, I fixed it.
I LOVE YOU LINUX.11 -
Windows hardware troubleshooter just fixed the touchscreen on my tablet. I guess miracles do happen sometimes3
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"Dont jump. The bug has been fixed!"
(Plot twist: I'm actually that guy who's gonna jump) lmao
Whats yours?
49 -
Me and my friend in class:
My friend: my computer won't boot can you do something ?
Me: *looks at the screen*
*see he is in the bios*
*press CTRL+ALT+DEL*
*computer reboots into windows*
My friend: :02 -
No other language can do something as fucky as javascript.
"7 high severity vulnerabilities"
$> npm audit fix --force
"13 vulnerabilities (11 high, 2 critical)"
How is this fixed?!
It will be a great day when JS finally prolapses under the weight of its own hubris.11 -
Every time I see a cringe job post like this I internally scream hard. There, fixed it for them 🫡
19 -
My wife's phone started having power button issues. Then it broke completely with spastic random presses, causing the phone to boot loop. It's a 3 year old Nexus 5 so I was mostly concerned with backing things up, not rescuing it.
Cleaning didn't work, tapping the switch didn't work. This hack worked.
Backup complete.
9 -
soo.. yeah.. I've just solved an annoying bug using only chatgpt.
My first commit in this new project. And it's based on chatgpt.
Literally just saved me from days of reading through kafka docs, auth mechanisms and other stuff. And no, the google did not provide me with a proper answer/hints. The only hint was "the configuration might be wrong". Well alright, but I was NOT using any configuration in the first place...
Fun times ahead :) I might even consider the pro version if it keeps delivering like that.16 -
My nipples are hard, as hard as diamond. For no fucking reason at all.
But aside from that important update, does anyone just get this absolute light-headed euphoria whenever they realize they've fixed a bug?
Like my god, its the best feeling. I've only fixed other people's bugs a few time, and even then I experienced it.16 -
That moment when you have refactored so much shit, then really broken the project, but can't see yourself doing a git revert because you had invested so much time and know ultimately it *needs* these changes...
Thank god I fixed it! 😌3 -
For the first time in my life windows 10 repair fixed the PC?
Was getting bluscreen regarding unmountable boot, memory management then try to open it now it started diagnosing your PC.
Started reading devrant it fixed the problem and it works now.5 -
This morning: Two projects, neither working, both hopelessly broken (think: won't even build)
By lunch: both fixed.
A happy meal5 -
Spent 4 hours trying to fix a problem which fixed in just 4 lines of code.
My wife feels sorry for me.5 -
Don’t you love when you name your commit and push something like “Fixed x, y, and z” but the actual changes are in the unsaved files you forgot to save, so you have to do, “Actually fixed x, y, and z.”18
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See another of this git commit message :
"Fixed bugs and added new feature"
Fixed what bug?! Added new feature what?!4 -
Successfully wasted 4 hours then realised jQuery was not inserted..
jQuery inserted..
Bug Fixed.. o_O8 -
First thing on Monday. The very first thing.
I fucking killed prod.
Reminder to my future self to either stash local config files and .htaccess files... or add them to gitignore... But either way, don't leave them lying around assuming I won't do something dumb and accidentally commit them. Because some fateful Monday morning before I've had my coffee I'm going to do something dumb.8 -
I just found out I had used, for over 4 months, the wrong function to encode/decode url strings, which caused a lot of issues with my app...
I refused to believe that the problem is there, so I was looking elsewhere.
The longest search of a bug in my life finally over. Fixed! :D2 -
Just released an update of my game to my friends. It feels sooo good to have so many bugs fixed. <34
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I feel like almost all suggestions to wk92 here on devRant have already been fixed at my university...4
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When the change log says "fixed bugs and improved performance" only to find the entire application has been redesigned.1
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Windows...:
Problemsolver could not be opened because there was a problem...
Thanks! That totally fixed it🙃🔫4 -
Feels good to brought dead laptop to life.
Got dead laptop(person who gave it to me for free, said it doesn't turn on, and he got new one and this one is just for recycling), which got some liquid. Changed palmrest, keyboard, changed cable which is connecting to io board with power button, changed thermal paste and it working like a charm. Maybe in the future I will change screen. Screen has some pink spots, but it's only visible on dar theme. Added 16 GB ram, 512 gb ssd. Now I am using it as work computer. Dell Latitude E7450
7 -
I work as a customization and integration developer. Two months ago a customer opened a support ticket with an issue they encountered. I fixed it and released the new package. Today they opened a new ticket on the very same issue. Turns out they never even installed the fixed version.1
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when you intentionally break something you just spent a lot of time fixing just so you can understand what fixed it
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Fun way to confuse the non-tech people in my dorm... Making magnets out of some stuff I’ve fixed 📱
2 -
I constantly open devRant and check my notifications, but I have to learn that they fixed notifications now... I'm not that popular!3
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Working on my website. Ranting on positioning my background which uses CSS perspective and translateZ to move slowly when someone scrolls.
Can't figure out a way to make it not overflow the whole document for almost 3 days.
Out of frustration changed the position to fixed.
And the problem was gone :( :D :(
I have no idea if I should cry or laugh loudly4 -
I've fixed the bug... After 3 fucking months...
If I worked on this in one go, non-stop, it would've been over 5 days.
Bring on the next one. 🤘🤘🤘1 -
Today looking at code thinking to myself "I thought I fixed that code...shit that was in my dream!"
Why me?! -
Had two issues with my new Manjaro installation.
-Fixed DM getting stuck on boot by disabling DM
-Fixed touchpad issue by installing drivers
No fuss. Not much googling. Didn't fuck anything up. No Grub rescue. All my files are still where I left them. WiFi still works. This is a historic day.3 -
Bugs fixed, bugs have been fixed, bugs removed, daily bug fixing, bugs have been weekly fixed, update, daily update, weekly update, ...
9 -
A programmer is a person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have in a way you don't understand.
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My reaction when a bug I fixed reoccures after another developer merged in his changes: http://m.imgur.com/vyez0MS?r1
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Bug fixed! Commit, close ticket.
Ticket reopens. Dang.. let me test it. Still fixed, wtf? Send message to QA guy that opened it again.
"Read my comment." Comment has some entirely different yet slightly related bug.
Leap out window.1 -
Considering Taylor Swift's history with Apple – including Apple Music and having a programming language named after her – it'd be far more efficient to file bug reports with her rather than on Radar.4
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I accidentally fixed a CSS bug that has been bugging me for weeks. I wish it was always like this.1
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Valgrind is awesome. Today I fixed a lot of memory leakage / overflow bugs thanks to it. An guess what? Now, everything works!
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Bug - if it is reproducible, then it can be fixed with no time.
But it is never gonna be that easy 😂
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I completed my 4 pull requests for hacktoberfest and guess what all of them got approved. Yayyy!!
So these are the issues which I fixed in hacktoberfest2019.
1. Fixed readme of imba
2. Fixed the script of devTea
3. Added screenshots for the same (2)
4. Helped a friend with a blockchain script.
Thanks a lot!! @devTea, for giving me the chance.
5 -
I came home about 1am and saw a bug in a small (unpaid...) project that had to do with timezones (see some earlier rants). Fixed it, got to bed.
A few days later I realized that a feature I implemented before was gone. Going through the git log I found out it was me in that night who removed it, by accident I suppose.
Not the end of the world but I was quite intrigued by my own drunk ability to remove a feature that had nothing to to with what I was doing and not even noticing it.2 -
So in the last 2 hours I felt both frustrating and happiness, because of Xcode and code signing.
So what I did yesterday was removed all the Xcode certificates on my keychain because I had major issues getting the newest version of the certificates despite have auto signing enabled.
Without much notice until going to send the iOS app today through Fabric I came across an error while uploading the newest build :/
Googling it I found the same issue on stack overflow with only two answers one being fastlane, which just automated the process to the same error LOL
So anyways I found the solution and was quite happy about it :D I had to go to the apple developer website and download the right certificate DESPITE the auto signing ...
Anyways uploaded and done!
Also added a stack overflow answer in regards to it, I hope it helps someone out.
Oh and I emailed fabric to ask for help and 30 mins later emailed them basically saying NVM fixed it! Lol
Fuck you Xcode lol -
bug comment in the tracker, from the new junior dev, during her first week:
"probably fixed by [other dev]".
Among the unhelpful comments, this was a special gem. really special. a What the Fuck did you mean by that special. Was it fixed or not? who fixed it? [other dev]? someone else?
it was better not to have any comment at all.
later that junior became a really good dev... -
Yaaaay, cells now size themselves correctly on the main feed! (Profile view still needs some work but it’s also improved some)
9 -
Today, I fixed a dodgy unit test by stopping time.
(I overrode the time() method to always give the same result) -
- at night -
Laptop: I'll stop working for you!
Me: Never make decisions at night!
*laptop stops working*
- the next morning -
*laptop is working* -
Don't know if it's just me but if a site has 2 bg images with background-position fixed it fucks with my head
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Firebase or Self Developed Backend for mobile apps?. Which one to use if you have a fixed number of users.2
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myCheckbox.isChecked = myboolean--> weirds bugs
myCheckbox.isChecked = myboolean ? true : false --> All weirds bugs fixed
\o/ Thank's Visual Studio for spending time \o/4 -
today:
Committed my code for Code review
solved 23 Merged Conflicts
Fixed 65 Load project Error.
Fixed another 8 Compiler errors because of mistake made in Merge conflict.
I wanted to do coding today... I really do..2 -
QA: * reopens the bug I fixed *
Me: hi, whats up I thought I fixed that?
QA: *proceeds to explain totally different issue from totally different module* ... andd April fool.1 -
*Something wrong happens*
Windows - "Send crash report to Microsoft"
Me - "Really? That's your solution? Coz nothing ever got fixed😒"1 -
Status: Fixed two NullpointerExceptions in one commit as a bugfix, with only one cup of coffee and all that on a friday.
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You know what I hate? Git commit messages stating 'fixed tests' or 'fixed docs' or 'fixed integration problems'. You did not fix anything, fuckhead. You updated the code, introducing more bugs as usual. FIXED?! NO, UPDATED! That's what I hate.1
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I'm proof that deadlines motivate. Ruined the grub2 installation on my Ubuntu install and told myself I'd have it fixed in an hour or less. It's fixed now with 3 minutes to go 😅1
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The moment when you just recompile your code to check whether the compilation errors got fixed automatically.1
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!rant - it's a THANK YOU!
Had the problem so far that I could not start some apps in docker containers with GPU support (e. g. Chromium).
After a long search and a lot of help from the community, today's update of xf86-video-ati (1:7.8.0-2 -> 1:7.10.0-1) has finally fixed the bug. Yay!
Thank you very much Arch Linux and all the great maintainers. You're doing an awesome job.2 -
So... My friend got Agile Carpet Development.
And this is the example of one being fixed on the fly.
3 -
This feeling when you finally fixed an annoying bug in your code that gave you headache for days... :)
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The moment you're asked to fixed someone's codes, then you see that the codes are totally messy and f**ked up
1 -
Fixing sudden crashes in UIKit is a damn breeze, I already fixed the 2 glaring issues I stumbled upon.2
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During my internship, I fixed a bug in android app related to user data updation..
BUT I didn't knew it's root cause and I have no idea how I fixed it.
Also, it was satisfying.1 -
Why does adding "width" to a fixed element, move said element?
it should RESIZE not move, the element!2 -
Caused an outage on production because of a bug in the make file that hasn't been fixed for years. It hasn't been fixed because everyone knows to side step it. Except for me. Unit now. So the bug shall continue to live until the next newbie gets smacked in the face by it.
Kinda feels like an initiation. -
Any of the several hundred (no joke) xss, csrf or sql injection bugs I've fixed in our legacy apps...
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What's the best comment you stumbled upon?
mine was,
/*Dec 31, 2007: Fixed issue on ticket 310397. Happy New Year!!!*/1 -
Was to lazy to fix a bug. Waited some months and then realized the bug magically was gone. Happened not just one time...2
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Never fixed? lol.
Maybe I took hell of a time, maybe I've ignored it for long but at least I've always fixed bug which I came across and will fix if I come across any new (as there might be many hidden :P ).
As I mostly work on eCom and integrations, it's way too risky keeping bug.
Cheers!! -
Suddenly Programmer becoms Doctor so he said to patient :- Your x-Ray showed a broken rib,but we fixed it with photoshop3
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On build "Access to the path 'bin..' is denied". Close and reopen Visual Studio. Fixed. Repeat every hour.4
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Just working with numbers these days i wonder if i can compile gcc with fixed point support , like if i use float in source it should implement my fixed point implementation rather than ieee floating point standards7
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Every freaking time I think I've fixed my bug and can continue, I see a secondary bug showing up making me revise the code that I previously fixed..
At least I keep myself busy I guess. -
Microsoft Foundation Classes - MFC. Spent 1 month to make a fixed column on a grid. Counter intuitive APIs.
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When it's been one month you don't see that bug always worried you and you realize it fixed itself :)))1
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I wonder how well it would work if I bond/load balance my satellite connection with my fixed wireless connection.7
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so when you have to get your programming computer fixed how do you deal with it without being depressed?3
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Run code
System flag set.
Code crashes
System flag not removed
Fixed code
Code won't rerun because system flag2 -
Fixed the bug tested multiple times the build. When uploaded on stage not working. Debugging, debugging ... i forgot to push.. blah
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Interruptions from production team because of a tiny issue that’s already been fixed waiting for deployment
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Why do we still use floating-point numbers? Why not use fixed-point?
Floating-point has precision errors, and for some reason each language has a different level of error, despite all running on the same processor.
Fixed-point numbers don't have precision issues (unless you get way too big, but then you have another problem), and while they might be a bit slower, I don't think there is enough of a difference in speed to justify the (imho) stupid, continued use of floating-point numbers.
Did you know some (low power) processors don't have a floating-point processor? That effectively makes it pointless to use floating-point, it offers no advantage over fixed-point.
Please, use a type like Decimal, or suggest that your language of choice adds support for it, if it doesn't yet.
There's no need to suffer from floating-point accuracy issues.26 -
New Android N Beta build just dropped. Runs great so far and they fixed the VPN problem I was having with the VPN solution we use at work.
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It's not a matter of simply "unlocking it". It's a bug that needs to be researched, fixed, tested, and released.
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I have a question
Given an irregular area which is created by combining triangles from Delaunay triangulation, and a box with fixed ratio, how to decide where to put the box so that it has maximum area (box only has fixed ratio no fixed edge length)
I can only think of something maybe just a bit better than brute force but cannot think of anything else10 -
So anyone gonna comment on how chatgpt doesn't continue when it's html ? No one fixed that yet ? They should have20
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