It saved me from suicide.

You have to understand first that things in India work differently. Academics are not personal, but a social business. Academic competition in India is very high and not in a good way, or for the good reasons.

As a teenager was sent off from my home to the other side of the country. I didn't like it. My studies suffered, and I failed my exams. Came back home and faced months of emotional abuse (guilt trips, scornful comments, plain insults) from my parents, neighbours and relatives. Indian society is just built that way. They didn't know they were damaging my psyche, or they were too angry to care. Lots of other shit (lost friends, lost love) happened at roughly the same time period and everything started to fall like dominos.

I fell into severe depression. Lost appetite, lost sleep. Nothing mattered anymore. There were mornings when I would wake up and not get up from my bed for hours, and not even move a finger. Self-hate became the motto of the day. I became violent and anti-social. I would either be angry or trying not to break down and give up all the time. Many a night, I considered suicide. I would end up googling for easy ways out to take.

But what gave me a way out of the pains of my reality was programming. It helped my keep my head, figuratively and literally. It kept my mind distracted and gave me a sense of purpose. I would shut myself in, plug in my headphones, shut the world out and just experiment.

I am not saying that I am the best at what I do, but those sleepless and troubled nights, and many other similar nights over the years have given me a definite edge over my colleagues.

Even today, when everything is falling to pieces, I know I have something to fall back on. I still get episodes of depression every now and then, but I know I can always pick up a new project and distract myself. It probably isn't healthy, but eh...

I am alive. I code. I kick ass. My colleagues respect and value my opinion. I love my job.

Computer does what I tell it to do (mostly :p) and I feel good. Because for that small moment, I am in control of everything. For that infinitesimally small moment of my average, boring, and somewhat painful life, I am God.

First year of my study (application development) (5 years ago).

We were finally starting getting courses on using Linux and the teacher knew I was already using it for a while so he said that I had to finish the assignment but could work on whatever I wanted next to that.

Assignment was installing a server, getting a web server up and running and compiling at least one program from source.

I setup the server in 20 minutes, wrote a script to do the rest for me and was finished in half an hour. (we got 10 weeks for this (1 hour every week officially))

Well, I was about to start doing my own shit when people started asking me for help.
Fuck it, I love helping people with the things I'm passionate about so sure!

For weeks, during that one hour, I was probably the second teacher. Got called all over the classroom and helped people with everything.

Afterwards (the course), most people said that I probably helped about the whole class pass that course and I got called the linux God etc.

From that day on, my nickname at my study, which even many teachers used was: Mr. Linux.

It felt awesome though!

And still whenever I visit that place again, one teacher always goes: Hello again, mr. Linux!

I was 15 years old and the first year of high school. Everything was new to me and I was such a newbie. At that time I had 2-3 year of programming behind me at an institution where they taught competitive programming. And I knew something about computers. Not much but more than most of my school mates. At that time I wanted to become "super cool hacker".

So we had this very very thought teacher for history which was also our form master. She really knows how to explained everything about history and in an interesting way. But while she was teaching we also had to write down notes from her powerpoints that were on a projector. And occasionally she would wait for us to copy everything and then move on with her lecture. But sometimes she didn't. This was frustrating as hell. The whole class would complain about this because you couldn't take notes down normal, you had to do it at double speed.

But she got one weak spot. She was not very good with computers. Our school computers were locked in some kinda closet so that students didn't have physical access to a computer and were also password protected. So I came up with the plan to plant wireless mouse in her computer so that I could control her mouse. At that time it seemed like SUPER HACKER MASTER PLAN.

So I got an opportunity one time when she left the classroom and let closet where the computer was open. I quickly sneaked the USB of the wireless mouse in the computer and then go back to the seat.

So THE FUN began.

Firstly I would only go back in powerpoint so that all my schoolmates could write down notes including me. And it was hilarious to watch when she didn't know what is happening. So then I would move her mouse when she tried to close some window. I would just move it slightly so she wouldn't notice that somebody else is controlling mouse. And by missing X button just by slight she would click other things and other things would pop up and now she had to close this thing so it became a nightmare for her. And she would become angry at the mouse and start complaining how the computer doesn't work and that mouse doesn't obey her.

One time when she didn't pay attention to her computer and projector I went to paint program and drew a heart and wrote we love you (In Slovenian Imamo vas radi -> See the picture below) and one of my school mates has the picture of it. We were all giggling and she didn't know what is was for. And I managed to close everything before she even noticed.

So it got to the point where she couldn't hand it more so she called our school IT guy so that he would check her computer (2 or 3 weeks passed before she called IT guy). And he didn't find anything. He was really crappy IT guy in general. So one week passed by and I still had messed with her mouse. So she got a replacement computer. Who would guessed all the problems went away (because I didn't have another mouse like that). I guess when our IT guy took the computer to his room and really thoroughly check it he found my USB.

So he told her what was the problem she was so pissed off really I didn't see her pissed off so much in all my 4 years in high school. She demanded the apology from whom did it. And at that moment my mind went through all possible scenarios... And the most likely one was that I was going to be expelled... And I didn't have the balls to say that I did it and I was too afraid... Thanks to God nobody from my school mates didn't tell that it was me.

While she waited that somebody would come forward there was one moment when our looks met and at that moment both of us knew that I was the one that did it.

Next day the whole class wrote the apology letter and she accepted it. But for the rest of 4 years whenever was there a problem with the computer I had to fixed it and she didn't trust anybody not even our IT guy at school. It was our unwritten contract that I would repair her computer to pay off my sin that I did. And she once even trusted me with her personal laptop.

So to end this story I have really high respect for her because she is a great teacher and great persons that guide me through my teen years. And we stayed in contact.

If you ask a question in a forum and figure out the answer yourself, for the love of God, please post the fricking answer.

"Never mind" is not at all helpful. Ugh. Stop being selfish peasants.

Wife: the neighbors brought their pc, it doesn't work.

Me: WTF did I say to you. I DON'T REPAIR ANYTHING NO PCS, PRINTERS, WASHMACHINES NOTHING TELL THEM TO GET THE FUCKING PC GODDAMIT ITS MY FREE DAY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

This happened when I was on third semester of the career at university. I had my first boyfriend, the "Python" guy. He has that nickname because he used Python as his main programming language and nobody on the classroom used it.

In a few words, he was a... horrible human being. He talked down to me almost all the time, saying to me that my country was sh*t (he is from United States, and for a reason he never wanted to told me, he cannot go back to his country), that my university was sh*t and he said "you're will be lucky if you rot programming in a chair".

As you might wondering, yes, unfortunately it was a toxic relationship. Once he said he wanted to kill the teacher because he though that he hacked his laptop D:

He claimed that he was going to teach me python and security stuff, bla bla bla, but nothing. I learned python by my own.

I almost lost my faith in dev future because I though that the only ones that could have a real future in programming where people without ethics and only if they have a friend or a relative on a company.

The saddest part was that I dated him because I love smart boys, but he was just an idiot that, furthermore, wanted to change me (he pressured me to have tattoos, dye my hair and have sex, things that, of course, I didn't do).

I found courage to break up with him. I waited until the semester ends (in order not to lose my programming final projects) and, the day after the last day of class, I broke up with him.

I recovered my faith on programming when, next semester, one of the teachers invited me to give a python programming workshop :D and I gave two python workshops, and two of mobile development.

Now I'm working as a junior .NET developer. Thank God I broke up with him before the relationship became even worse. "Python" wanted to marry me after a year! O_O

Welcome back to practiseSafeHex's new life as a manager.

Episode 2: Why automate when you can spend all day doing it by hand

This is a particularly special episode for me, as these problems are taking up so much of my time with non-sensical bullshit, that i'm delayed with everything else. Some badly require tooling or new products. Some are just unnecessary processes or annoyances that should not need to be handled by another human. So lets jump right in, in no particular order:

- Jira ... nuff said? not quite because somehow some blue moon, planets aligning, act of god style set of circumstances lined up to allow this team to somehow make Jira worse. On one hand we have a gigantic Jira project containing 7 separate sub teams, a million different labels / epics and 4.2 million possible assignees, all making sure the loading page takes as long as possible to open. But the new country we've added support for in the app gets a separate project. So we have product, backend, mobile, design, management etc on one, and mobile-country2 on another. This delightfully means a lot of duplication and copy pasting from one to the other, for literally no reason what so ever.

- Everything on Jira is found through a label. Every time something happens, a new one is created. So I need to check for "iOS", "Android", "iOS-country2", "Android-country2", "mobile-<feature>", "mobile-<feature>-issues", "mobile-<feature>-prod-issues", "mobile-<feature>-existing-issues" and "<project>-July31" ... why July31? Because some fucking moron decided to do a round of testing, and tag all the issues with the current date (despite the fact Jira does that anyway), which somehow still gets used from time to time because nobody pays attention to what they are doing. This means creating and modifying filters on a daily basis ... after spending time trying to figure out what its not in the first one.

- One of my favourite morning rituals I like to call "Jira dumpster diving". This involves me removing all the filters and reading all the tickets. Why would I do such a thing? oh remember the 9000 labels I mentioned earlier? right well its very likely that they actually won't use any of them ... or the wrong ones ... or assign to the wrong person, so I have to go find them and fix them. If I don't, i'll get yelled at, because clearly it's my fault.

- Moving on from Jira. As some of you might have seen in your companies, if you use things like TestFlight, HockeyApp, AppCenter, BuddyBuild etc. that when you release a new app version for testing, each version comes with an automated change-log, listing ticket numbers addressed ...... yeah we don't do that. No we use this shitty service, which is effectively an FTP server and a webpage, that only allows you to host the new versions. Sending out those emails is all manual ... distribution groups?? ... whats that?

- Moving back to Jira. Can't even automate the changelog with a script, because I can't even make sense of the tickets, in order to translate that to a script.

- Moving on from Jira. Me and one of the remote testers play this great game I like to call "tag team ticketing". It's so much fun. Right heres how to play, you'll need a QA and a PM.

*QA creates a ticket, and puts nothing of any use inside it, and assigns to the PM.
*PM fires it back asking for clarification.
*QA adds in what he feels is clarification (hes wrong) and assigns it back to the PM.
*PM sends detailed instructions, with examples as to what is needed and assigns it back.
*QA adds 1 of the 3 things required and assigns it back.
*PM assigns it back saying the one thing added is from the wrong day, and reminds him about the other 2 items.
*QA adds some random piece of unrelated info to the ticket instead, forgetting about the 3 things and assigns it back.

and you just continue doing this for the whole dev / release cycle hahaha. Oh you guys have no idea how much fun it is, seriously give it a go, you'll thank me later ... or kill yourselves, each to their own.

- Moving back to Jira. I decided to take an action of creating a new project for my team (the mobile team) and set it up the way we want and just ignore everything going on around us. Use proper automation, and a kanban board. Maybe only give product a slack bot interface that won't allow them to create a ticket without what we need etc. Spent 25 minutes looking for the "create new project" button before finding the link which says I need to open a ticket with support and wait ... 5 ... fucking ... long ... painful ... unnecessary ... business days.

... Heres hoping my head continues to not have a bullet hole in it by then.

Id love to talk more, but those filters ain't gonna fix themselves. So we'll have to leave it here for today. Tune in again for another episode soon.

And remember to always practiseSafeHex

Mac: Hello welcome please sign in

Dev: Fair enough

Mac: Oh you haven’t signed in in awhile please get get verification from other device

Dev: kk

Mac: Oh you don’t have a dev account, please sign in on this website

Dev: Hm.

Mac: In order to sign up for a dev account you need to download this app

Dev: ???

Mac: Are you sure you want to open this app you just downloaded?

Dev: Sigh.

Mac: In order to sign up for a dev account on this app you need to sign into it

Dev: For the love of god

Mac: Ok now you can build with Xcode.

Xcode: No you can’t. You have to sign in

Dev: fuck sakes.

Mac: Are you sure you want Xcode to access files on your computer?

Dev: …Yup

Xcode: Signing in isn’t enough you have to select the fact you are signed in a dropdown nested 3 menus deep.

Dev: God damn.

Xcode: Build failed please sign in to phone as well.

Phone: New sign in detected, please verify with alternative device.

Dev: Jesus.

Xcode: Build success! Pushing to iPhone.

Dev: Finally.

Xcode: Unknown error occurred. Please go to support.apple.com for help. :)

Dev: …

Please for the love of god name your variables in a sensible way! How the FUCK am I supposed to read your shitcode if you decide to write 6 (!!!) nested loops with variables each named by exactly one character. With no comments whatsoever!

I would rather crack password hashes than this nonsense.

YOU ARE A FUCKING SOFTWARE DEVELOPER WITH AT LEAST A LITTLE TRAINING FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE STOP FUCKING UP THE GIT REPOSITORY BY COMMITTING THE GODDAMN NODE_MODULES

WHY THE ACTUALL FUCK DO PEOPLE PUT JQUERY IN EVERY FUCKING PROJECT EVEN IF IT IS A FUCKING ELECTRON APP AND EVEN WORSE WHY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO THEY MIX VUE AND JQUERY JUST WHYYY 😢

"Fuck JavaScript, its such a shitty language" seems to be quite a common rant today. It seems as if JS is actually getting more hate than PHP, which is certainly odd, considering the stereotype.

So, as someone who has spent a lot of time in JS and a lot of time elsewhere, here are my views. Please, discuss your opinions with me as well. I am genuinely interested in an intelligent conversation about this topic.

So here's my background: learned HTML/CSS/JS in that order when I was 12 because I liked computers. I was pretty shitty at JS until U was at least 15, but you get the point, Ive had it sploshing about in my brain for a while.

Now, JS certainly has its quirks, no doubt, but theres nothing about the language itself that I would say makes it shitty. Its a very easy leanguage to use, but isn't overdeveloped like VB.net (Or, as I like to call it, TheresAFunctionForThat)

Most of the hate is centered around JS being used for a very broad range of systems. I doubt JS would be in the rant feed so often if it were to stay in its native ecosystem of web browsers. JS can be used in server backend, web frontent, desktop and mobile applications, and even in some system services (Although this isn't very popular as of yet). People seem to be terrified that one very easy to learn language can go so far. And, oh god, its interpreted... How can a system app run off an interpreted language? That's absurd.

My opinion on JSEverything is that it's progress. Thats what we're all about, right? The technologies already in place are unthreatened by JS, it isn't a gamechanger. The only thing JS integration is doing is making tedius and simple tasks easier. Big companies with large systems aren't going to jump ship and migrate to JS. A startup, however, could save a fucking ton of development time by using a JS framework, however. I want to live in a world where startups can become the next Google, because technology will stagnate when youre trying to protect your fortune, (Look at Apple for fucks sake) but innovation is born of small people with big ideas.

I have a feeling the hate for JS is coming from fear of abandoning what you're already doing. You don't have to do that. JS is only another option (And a very good one, which is why it's becoming so popular).

As for my personal opinion from my experiences... I've left this part til the end on purpose. I love programming and learning and creating, so I've never hated a lamguage, really. It all depends on what I want to do. In the times i've played arpund with JS, I've loved it. Very very easy. The idea of having it on both ends of web development makes a lot of sense too, no conversion, just direct communication. I would imagine this really helps with speed, as well. I wouldn't use it in a complicated system, though. Small things, medium size projects: perfect. Running a bank? No.

So what do you think about this JSUniverse?

So I finally got my head out of my ass and decided to install some OS on that 500MB RAM legacy craptop from earlier.

*installs Tiny Core Linux*

Hmm.. how do I install extra packages into this thing again? *Googles how to install packages*
Aha, extensions it's called.. and you install them through their little package manager GUI, and then you also have to dick around with some TCE directory, and boot options for that. Well I ain't gonna do that. Why the fuck would I need to dick around with that? Just install the fucking files in /bin, /var, /etc and whatever the fuck you need to like a decent distro. I'll fucking load them whenever I need them, BY EXECUTING THE FUCKING BINARY. But no, apparently that's not how TCL works.

Also, why the fuck is this keyboard still set to US? I'm using a Belgian keyboard for fuck's sake.. "loadkeys be-latin1"
> Command not found.

Okay... (fucking piece of shit) how do I change the fucking keyboard layout for this shit?!
*does the jazz hand routine required for that*
So apparently I need to install a package for that as well. Oh wait, an EXTENSION!! My bad. And then you can use "loadkmap < /usr/share/kmap/something/something" to load the keyboard layout. Except that it doesn't change the fucking keymap at all! ONE FUCKING JOB, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!

That's fucking it. No more dicking around in TCL. If I wanted to fuck around with the system this much, I'd have compiled my own custom Linux system. Maybe I can settle with Arch Linux, that's a familiar distro to me.. I can easily install openbox in that and call it a day. But this is an i686 machine.. Arch doesn't support that anymore, does it?

*does another jazz hand routine on Arch Linux 32 and sees that there's a community-maintained project just for that*

Oh God bless you fine Arch Linux users for making a community fork!! I fucking love you.. thank you so much!! Arch it'll be then <3

!!rant
!!ANGER

Micromanager: "Hey, Root!

Since you're back, and still not feeling well, we have an easy ticket for you: Rewrite the slack integration gem! Oh, you don't have to re-implement all of it, just make sure it all works the same way it does now. That bitch you worked with once over a year ago who kept throwing you under the bus to management and stealing credit for your work? Yeah, she wrote the original code like four years ago. It's perfect, so don't touch it. but she can fill you in on all the details you need and get you up to speed on how to test it.

But yep! It should be simple. and I just knew you would love this ticket, so I saved it just for you. Nice and quick, too, to get you an easy win.

You know, since you have to repair your reputation with product. and management. and the execs. and the rest of the team. and me. Yeah, product doesn't trust you so they don't want to give you any tickets. They just can't trust you to get them out and have them work. So you have a lot of hard work to do."

Spoiler: The bus-thrower wasn't much help. (Surprise.)
Spoiler: The ticket was already in my backlog -- one of a grand total of two tickets.
Spoiler: I don't find the ticket fun. Maybe if I was to write the entire implementation with a nice DSL? but no, "don't touch the perfect code." Fuck you.
Spoiler: It isn't going to be nice or quick. But, she (micromanager) is looking to lose me, so that really is an easy win. for her.

And. just. argh. fuck you. i've been exhausted and dying for well over a year, but you've kept ignoring that (and still are, despite me providing goddamn legal forms from fucking doctors stating it in plain fucking english, which you also fucking ignore), and you just keep piling on the work and demanding the ridiculous of me despite it. Yeah I can pull it off sometimes. No, I really shouldn't, and I'm surprised I can. (also, "Time off? What, and lower your productivity even more? ____ doesn't even take vacations. And how are you doing on that ticket?") And no, none of my tickets have ever had any fucking problems. Not even when there are upstream service outages. Not. a. single. fucking. one. Ever. And the only things I've ever missed were things that bloody product never put in the fucking ticket, so fuck you with your "repair your reputation" bullshit.

god, i fuckiNG HATE THESESTUPOID ANWETLJAF SAJEWTKW BITCHFACEDUCKFUCKERS

Why the FUCK am I still fucking working here?
Right, because I've been burned out and dying so much I can't pass a fucking interview so I can fucking leave.

jasdkl;fk

ugh. Anyway. If you ever find yourself starting work at a Cali fintech company whose internal mascot is a very fine duck? Just run. I absolutely guarantee you will be miserable.

Whoever is responsible for the responsible for the refund process on airbnb can eat a bunch of dicks, watch me spill all of the fluids over his keyboard and then watch me break every single one of his/her fingers.
How the fuck do you dare to keep all of my money in some kind of internal wallet while I clearly need it to get a hotel after your starrated host left me hanging, autoaccepting but then telling me via phone that he using vacation till Friday... Half a goddamned fucking hour after I tried to call him. I want to report the shit out of this asshole, but no I can't because I cancelled my stay.
For the love of God and his creation is it this hard to punish assholes for ruining my new year and making me freeze my hand and ears of?

Why do HR people ask stupid questions like the following ones? Everytime I get those questions, I have imaginary answers like the ones right after each question.

Why do you want to work here?

- Obviously, because I need the money to survive. I'm not here because I love working for you and having to endure your stress. I'm not that type of a kinky person.

Are you flexible?

- Why? Do you want to annoy me when I'm sleeping in the middle of the night because of a sudden deadline or because a god damn employee didn't show up?

Do you see yourself as a perfect fit for both developer and tech support roles?

- Read my fucking resume, moron. I applied for a developer role. Nothing else.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

- As if you would care. It's none of your business, but since we are at it. I see myself as your manager in 5 years. Hope that you like that thought.

We didn't bother reading your CV. Would you like to tell us about yourself?

- Nope. Have a nice day and suck my dick. I'm leaving.

Can you give us your phone number and the phone number of your girlfriend?

- I didn't know that I am selling my soul to your company by accepting this job offer. I'm not your slave and you will not call me whenever I'm enjoying my private time.

What's motivating you?

- Money and the peaceful vibe at work when you are shutting the fuck up when I'm fully focused during my projects.

How do you handle stress?

- I dick slap everyone infront of me.

Do you see yourself as a hard worker?

- Nah, I'm not interested in sucking dicks, eating her ass and bending over to get a little bit of a raise.

To those that think they can't make it.
To those that are put down by those that don't understand you.
And to those that have never had a dream come true.

Not a rant, but the story of how I got into programming

I've always been into tech/electronics. I remember being told once that when I was 3, I used to take plug sockets to pieces. When I was 7, I built a computer with my dad.
There isn't a thing in my room that hasn't been dismantled and put back together again. Except for the things that weren't put back together again ;)

When I was 15, I got a phone for Christmas. It was a pretty crappy phone, the LG P350 (optimus ME). But I loved it all the same.
However I knew it could do a lot more. It ran a bloated, slow version of Android 2.2.
So I went searching, how can I make it faster, how to make it do more. And I found a huge community around Android ROMs. Obviously the first thing I did was flashed this ROM. Sure, there were bugs, but I was instantly in love with it. My phone was freed.

From there I went on to exploring what else can be done.
I wanted to learn how to script, so over the weekend I wrote a 1000 line batch (Windows cmd) script that would root the phone and flash a recovery environment onto it. Pretty basic. Lots of switch statements, but I was proud of it. I'd achieved something. It wasn't new to the world, but it was my first experience at programming.

But it wasn't enough, I needed more.
So I set out to actually building the roms. I installed Linux. I wanted to learn how to utilise Linux better, so I rewrote my script in bash.
By this time, I'd joined a team for developing on similar spec'd phones. Without the funds to by new devices, we began working on more radical projects.
Between us, we ported newer kernels to our devices. We rebased much of the chipset drivers onto newer equivalents to add new features.

And then..

Well, it was exam season. I was suffering from personal issues (which I will not detail), and that, with the work on Android, I ended up failing the exams.
I still passed, but not to the level I expected.

So I gave up on school, and went head first into a new kind of development. "continue doing what you love. You'll make it" is what I told myself.

I found python by contributing to an IRC bot. I learnt it by reading the codebase. Anything I didn't understand, I researched. Anything I wanted to do, google was there to help me through it.

Then it was exam season again. Even though I'd given up on school, I was still going. It was easier to stay in than do anything about it.
A few weeks before the exams, I had a panic attack. I was behind on coursework, and I knew I would do poorly on exams.
So I dropped out.
I was disappointed, my family was disappointed.
So I did the only thing I felt I could do. I set out to get a job as a developer.

At this stage, I'd not done anything special. So I started aiming bigger. Contributing to projects maintained by Sony and Google, learning from them. Building my own projects to assist with my old Android friends.
I managed to land a contract, however due to the stresses at home, I had to drop it after a month.
Everything was going well, I felt ready to get a full time job as a developer, after 2 years of experience in the community.

Then I had to wake up.
Unfortunately, my advisors (I was a job seeker at the time) didn't understand the potential of learning to be a developer. With them, it's "university for a skilled job".
They see the word "computer" on a CV, they instantly say "tech support".
I played ball, I did what I could for them. But they'd always put me down, saying I wasn't good enough, that I'd never get a job.
I hated them. I'd row with them every other day.

By God, I would prove them wrong.

And then I found them. Or, to be more precise, they found me. A startup in London got in contact with me. They seemed like decent people. I spoke with their developers, and they knew their stuff, these were people that I can learn from.
I travelled 4 hours to go for an interview, then 4 hours back.
When I got the email saying they'd move me to London, I was over the moon.
I did exactly what everyone was telling me I couldn't do.

1.5 years later, I'm still working with them. We all respect each other, and we all learn from each other.

I'm ever grateful to them for taking a shot with me. I had no professional experience, and I was by no means the most skilled individual they interviewed.

Many people have a dream. I won't lie, I once dreamed of working at Google. But after the journey I've been through, I wouldn't have where I am now any other way. Though, in time, I wish to share this dream with another.
I hope that all of you reach your dreams too.

Sorry for the long post. The details are brief, but there are only 5k characters ;)

My Girlfriend broke with me today.

We was in this relationship from two years now. we was doing very good, our relationship was not toxic, no fights, no bad words, zero problems.

One month ago she goes to travel with her evangelical aunt to the beach. Her aunt have lot of money she gets from scamming all that believers. I was happy for my ex-gf because here in out city she was having lot of problems of health, mainly because she was not very mind stable and that degraded her health.

When she goes, her physical and mental health improve a lot. i was happy she is stable now. Her aunt have some Church around the city they go, aunt started to bring her very often to the church. She started to strongly reinforce they God beliefs.

Of course im atheist, she know that from very long time ago. But of course when she started to be more devoted, feels dont fit with me. I refuse to change my mindset about that topic.

Today she says we must broke because im not a believer. This was the most painful experience in my life. I fall in cry for three hours. I truly love her. I recently wakeup and decide to write this rant. I dont have too much friends to talk apart from her. So i wish to share this here.

Im unemployed, she was my only support all this job hunting times. Now she was gone and im alone, this hurts a lot.

Im trying to dont fall deep af, to non return path.

Fuck religion. and her fanatic aunt.

I love my wife, God bless her, sent her a pdf file via email. Couple of hours later she replied with (and only) 'Can't view the PDF document'
That's it. No reason why, nothing. I was afraid to respond and ask why. "Oh..I accidentally knocked your laptop on the floor and it caught on fire, so I dumped a bucket of water on it." rolled around in my head a few times.
I get home, open the email, click on the document, opened just fine.
Me: "Um, why couldn't open the attachment?"
Wife: "Attachment? What did you do? It wouldn't open for me."
Me: "I just clicked the file. What did you do?"
Wife: "Oh. Supper is ready, help me set the table."
It was all I could do from screaming "OMG! THIS IS NOT THE FIRST ATTACHMENT I HAVE SENT YOU!!"
She made me baked chicken breasts marinated in Italian dressing and some other spices with melted cheese...big baked potato, pile of mix veggies......mmm...so all is forgiven.

Disclaimer: I have a strong hate towards apple for multiple reasons and this will only be temporary. (thank God for that)

My oneplus one is battery dead and the power button quit as well. Repair costs would be as expensive as buying a new phone (200-300 price range) so searching for a new one.

But, I need a temporary phone in the mean time.
A phone with googled-android is absolutely a no-go. I used to do that sometimes but those were wrong decisions.

So, for the sake of trying, I'm going for a second hand iPhone.
Will be testing how it works for me (never been able to form an opinion on it since iOS 4.2 (iPod touch)) and will also be searching my ass off for a smartphone which supports lineage/rooting (TIPS BETWEEN ABOVES PRICE RANGE ARE VERY WELCOME) because I'm fucking hell not planning on using that (the iPhone) fucker any longer than a month.
Even if I love it over android (highly doubt that), I won't continue using it for very specific reasons.

Wish me luck 😅

Stop developing new frameworks please! For the love of god. I want to have a life!

For the love of God stop having your fucking secretary make the design decisions. "Make the logo bigger"
The header looks like shit if it takes up 1/4 of the screen Karen 😡😡

Let the student use their own laptops. Even buy them one instead of having computers on site that no one uses for coding but only for some multiple choice tests and to browse Facebook.

Teach them 10 finger typing. (Don't be too strict and allow for personal preferences.)

Teach them text navigation and editing shortcuts. They should be able to scroll per page, jump to the beginning or end of the line or jump word by word. (I am not talking vi bindings or emacs magic.) And no, key repeat is an antifeature.

Teach them VCS before their first group assignment. Let's be honest, VCS means git nowadays. Yet teach them git != GitHub.

Teach git through the command line. They are allowed to use a gui once they aren't afraid to resolve a merge conflict or to rebase their feature branch against master. Just committing and pushing is not enough.

Teach them test-driven development ASAP. You can even give them assignments with a codebase of failing tests and their job is to make them pass in the beginning. Later require them to write tests themselves.

Don't teach the language, teach concepts. (No, if else and for loops aren't concepts you god-damn amateur! That's just syntax!)

When teaching object oriented programming, I'd smack you if do inane examples with vehicles, cars, bikes and a Mercedes Benz. Or animal, cat and dog for that matter. (I came from a self-taught imperative background. Those examples obfuscate more than they help.) Also, inheritance is overrated in oop teachings.

Functional programming concepts should be taught earlier as its concepts of avoiding side effects and pure functions can benefit even oop code bases. (Also great way to introduce testing, as pure functions take certain inputs and produce one output.)

Focus on one language in the beginning, it need not be Java, but don't confuse students with Java, Python and Ruby in their first year. (Bonus point if the language supports both oop and functional programming.)

And for the love of gawd: let them have a strictly typed language. Why would you teach with JavaScript!?

Use industry standards. Notepad, atom and eclipse might be open source and free; yet JetBrains community editions still best them.

For grades, don't your dare demand for them to write code on paper. (Pseudocode is fine.)

Don't let your students play compiler in their heads. It's not their job to know exactly what exception will be thrown by your contrived example. That's the compilers job to complain about. Rather teach them how to find solutions to these errors.

Teach them advanced google searches.

Teach them how to write a issue for a library on GitHub and similar sites.

Teach them how to ask a good stackoverflow question :>

For the love of God use descriptive variable names. I dont care if it is 15 characters long instead of 5. Besides any halfway modern IDE does auto completion.

"tTime" is not helpful. Target time? Test time? Total time? Tea time? Turtle Timmy? No clue...

This morning:
SLACK HAS A DARK THEME! ALL GLORY TO THE AMAZING SLACK TEAM! SLACK FOR PRESIDENT!

This afternoon:
OH GOD THIS THEME MAKES ME WANT TO SCOOP THE EYES OUT OF MY SOCKETS THE FONT LOOKS UGLIER THAN THE PILE OF SKINFAT I SCRAPED OFF MY MOUSE ITS AWFUL I NEED HUGS SEND HELP

Thanks, companies, for trying, I guess.

I love dark themes, but the ones provided are often even worse than the light themes.

They go overboard with extreme black/white contrasts, pick a super weird hue of puke-gray, or certain elements are unreadable.

So, please, instead of wasting the time of your designers on something that's clearly too difficult for them.... how about just making it easy to create community themes for your app?

Especially if it's an electron app, how hard is it to add a config option to import a CSS file, and provide one template as an example?

WASM was a mistake. I just wanted to learn C++ and have fast code on the web. Everyone praised it. No one mentioned that it would double or quadruple my development time. That it would cause me to curse repeatedly at the screen until I wanted to harm myself.

The problem was never C++, which was a respectable if long-winded language. No no no. The problem was the lack of support for 'objects' or 'arrays' as parameters or return types. Anything of any complexity lives on one giant Float32Array which must surely bring a look of disgust from every programmer on this muddy rock. That is, one single array variable that you re-use for EVERYTHING.

Have a color? Throw it on the array. 10 floats in an object? Push it on the array - and split off the two bools via dependency injection (why do I have 3-4 line function parameter lists?!). Have an image with 1,000,000 floats? Drop it in the array. Want to return an array? Provide a malloc ptr into the code and write to it, then read from that location in JS after running the function, modifying the array as a side effect.

My- hahaha, my web worker has two images it's working with, calculations for all the planets, sun and moon in the solar system, and bunch of other calculations I wanted offloaded from the main thread... they all live in ONE GIANT ARRAY. LMFAO.If I want to find an element? I have to know exactly where to look or else, good luck finding it among the millions of numbers on that thing.

And of course, if you work with these, you put them in loops. Then you can have the joys of off-by-one errors that not only result in bad results in the returned array, but inexplicable errors in which code you haven't even touched suddenly has bad values. I've had entire functions suddenly explode with random errors because I accidentally overwrote the wrong section of that float array. Not like, the variable the function was using was wrong. No. WASM acted like the function didn't even exist and it didn't know why. Because, somehow, the function ALSO lived on that Float32Array.

And because you're using WASM to be fast, you're typically trying to overwrite things that do O(N) operations or more. NO ONE is going to use this return a + b. One off functions just aren't worth programming in WASM. Worst of all, debugging this is often a matter of writing print and console.log statements everywhere, to try and 'eat' the whole array at once to find out what portion got corrupted or is broke. Or comment out your code line by line to see what in forsaken 9 circles of coding hell caused your problem. It's like debugging blind in a strange and overgrown forest of code that you don't even recognize because most of it is there to satisfy the needs of WASM.

And because it takes so long to debug, it takes a massively long time to create things, and by the time you're done, the dependent package you're building for has 'moved on' and find you suddenly need to update a bunch of crap when you're not even finished. All of this, purely because of a horribly designed technology.

And do they have sympathy for you for forcing you to update all this stuff? No. They don't owe you sympathy, and god forbid they give you any. You are a developer and so it is your duty to suffer - for some kind of karma.

I wanted to love WASM, but screw that thing, it's horrible errors and most of all, the WASM heap32.

Systemd, I fucking love you. When a service crashes, let's just keep it turned off, don't restart it on your own, no need for that. That's what statefulness means, right Poettering? Such an amazing init, well worth the quarter GB of code or however much it is now. And yes I know that the unit files can be edited to achieve that. But seriously, should I really have to do that for each individual service on each individual box, because systemd can't do it on its own?

That feeling when an init system is (relatively) decent at doing everything else it absorbed into itself, yet fucking sucks at being.. a goddamn init. Good game Poettering. Such an amazing init system you wrote there. God fucking dammit man.. how hard can it be? There's OpenRC and BSD's /etc/rc.conf which are literally mere kilobytes of scripts and they do both statefulness and parallelization (in case of OpenRC anyway) *excellently*. Yet systemd can't even do that much? Awesome. Great init. I love it.

Come fucking on man...

Don't try to make it perfect. For the love of god don't. It will never be and you will never finish anything

Social media censorship is such a fucked up shithole of bullshit.

Ig thot models post their asses and tits on there about twice a week and it's not a big problem at all. Just turn a blind eye to that.

But God forbid you post something that is vaguely mean or anything political that isn't center to left, and that bitch is getting deleted for bullying or harassment.

I commented on this post and basically just said "your mom sounds like a bitch" but that got deleted for harassment. Is that really what harassment is? Well holy fuck I harass my friends like a few dozen times a day so I should probably get arrested.

Gotta love having speech censored under the umbrella of "pReVeNtiNg BuLlYiNg".

God bless the Git, for the has done the forsaken and deleted a script many a era ago, and on this blessed day of days, he who is a dickhead needed such thy script to test functionality thy requires to be in the heavenly clouds to utilise....

Fuck I love git history to save me from having to write this thing again 🥰

Ps: IF YOU DON'T USE GIT, BE ASHAMED!

Interviewer: "Ok we are searching for a fucking god of the code, if you have a week for work on a new project you must end within 3 days and work on other stuff! And for contract maybe a stage can be a good solution, we can't pay very much, but you must work like a machine and you'll love it cause here we have lots of project!"
Me: "I'm not interested."
Interviewer: "W..what?? Why?? Is there something wrong??"

Everytime a cunt like this ask to a developer to work for him, somewhere in the world a browser crashes

This has been said countless times before me, and way better than me that’s supper tired, but I need to rant out

And what I’m ranting out today, is Apple. Its essence, its core, the reason it still exists: the ECOSYSTEM!

The problem with Apple ecosystem is that it’s the ecosystem of a fucking PRISON!

People like it because it works well together , but it’s sure that in a prison, the path from your cell to the cantine is pretty optimized; you get forced there! And you might try to get your food elsewhere, but the walls of the prison are made to be difficult to cross. Especially on mobile, where they’re making it harder and harder to escape, to make a jailbreak (pun-intended). Keeping you the loyal little sheep, or the forcing you to it.

That prison is also made private, a little club, to attract people to it. They even got their own little system to talk to each other, but oh god protect them from their little messages to pass the walls of the prison.

And all that prison is guarded by the warden, watching from high in the cloud. Forcing you to report yourself to him to be part of that prison.

That prison, also, can only be entered with specific vehicles, provided by the prison, to ensure maximum compatibility and efficiency. Good luck entering with a disguised vehicle if you find the official ones too pricey for their parts.

They also provided pressure tubes to send things from one cell to another. While being only simple pressure tubes like any other, they’re acclaimed because they’re apparently easier to use than the other 3rd party pressure tubes that can send things to the outside. Why? Because, oh yes it’s already in everybody’s cells (of that prison, outside is dangerous) and the other tubes have been conveniently being placed somewhere harder to reach.

Another thing they have are those windows that can view the outside. While being maybe less clear than some other windows, they are ok. But if you ever consider going mobile to enjoy that safari with lions, then man do they love bringing you back to that window.

Ok so I’m done with the prison metaphor, or I won’t sleep.

The ecosystem is probably the major reason Apple is still there. You buy from there because you’re a prisoner (I guess I’m not finished with the metaphor after all).

This is a prime example of RMS’s quote “If the user doesn’t control the software, the software controls the user”

AirDrop isn’t some sort of revolutionary tech, it uses a well established protocol that other implementations use to do the same thing. They could really easily open source the protocol and allow everyone to profit, but they won’t, because that would mean you don’t have to buy Apple.

That’s why I militate for open source, decentralized and standardized protocols. Because that way, we control the software, and it doesn’t control us.

All the things I said aren’t so bad because when you buy Apple, you make a choice. But I don’t have a choice, I am typing this on an Apple device, because I need to (I won’t elaborate on that) because of that fucking *ecosystem*

I am really tired, so half the sentences probably don’t make sense, but thanks for coming to my stupid TED talk.

OMG! I fucking hate it when people who have no idea about technology whatsoever have a conversation about some 'technical stuff' and I've got to listen to trash like:

A: "It's a wonder that all of this stuff actually works!"
B: "Yeah, I heard that it all connects over some kind of WAVES or something like that..."

FFS! I know you can't know everything, but please for the love of god ... just don't!

- Currently sitting on the train and cringing like a madman -

If you haven't seen silicon valley... Do... For the love of God do.

And if you don't like it one... We will never get on, it's god damn hilarious ... Constantly

3rd time I've watched them all

It's perfect.

For the love of God, we don't care that you're failing to get 15 ++'s to get your sticker. Obviously, if it didn't get a measly 15, then your rant wasn't that relatable/funny/likeable. Ranting about ++'s isn't going to get your crap rants any more ++'s

Why do people have to lie? I am seriously getting tired of it.

Context: While I was on vacation the company hired some guy we’ll call Bob.
Bob is a senior with 10+ years of experience. 5 of those years in React (supposedly).
I got back from vacation and was told I’d be working on a project with Bob.
I’ve worked in teams before so I thought no problem.

Now I am aware that different people have different styles, so that’s why we agreed on a lint config with some fancy git hooks.

I was excited at first because the project actually seems nice, but my excitement soon turned into terror.

First of all, Bob doesn’t seem to understand Git…fair enough, I’ll give him a quick guide…

Mf calls me at 11pm on a Friday because he can’t push because the tests are failling.

Now tests. Bob doesn’t write those. Great.

We had created a few components to use throughout the project.

Bob seems to consistently forget what components are and why you write them and just imports the defaults from the UI library we’re using.

Bob also has a kink for hardcoding values for some reason.

I talked to Bob multiple times about this and he just tells me he’ll change it but in the end the PR stays open for 5 days, before it’s actually me who goes in and fixes it. Oh and yeah this shit keeps happening over and over again.

Now I know some of us devs hate meetings but for the love of God Bob just show up. You don’t even have to speak. Or at least answer a message that corresponds to the working hours and not in the middle of the night.

I am getting tired of this behavior and am seriously holding back from reporting this to the management. It’s been a month and I am seriously worried about the project. I have my own stuff to do but it takes time for me to clean up his absolute mess that doesn’t even pass the CI.

Call me an asshole I don’t care. It’s been a month and I’m legit worried about the future of the project.

In honor of Erwin Schrodinger's birthday I may or may not kill a cat. For the love of God nobody ask me which.

She : You spend your whole day with your stupid computer ! That dumb machine is more important to you than me. We are done 😡

Me : Babe, I swear to God, you'll always be number one on my priority list.

She : Aww.. love you so much 😚

Me in mind : This must be the reason behind foundation of 0 index for Devs.

I love my Nexus 6P but goddamn do I hate its battery. Shuts down randomly at 25%, lasts only half a day, and a lot of other crap. So I want to replace it, bought a new battery from AliExpress but didn't buy any tools for it.. so I'll have to make do with what I currently have. On iFixit I found that the replacement process is apparently quite difficult as it's glued in (God I fucking hate that) and can only be safely removed by heatgunning it (which I don't have a heatgun for). Are the results worth the risk of breaking it? Is it possible to pull it out while cold, without too much risk of breaking stuff or damaging the battery? I've got experience in disassembling 2 previous phones and one of them had the battery glued in as well.. and I didn't break the battery (in fact I'm still using it) but it was very difficult.. and this is my daily driver. So yeah 😶

Job posts that look for experience in everything! Experience in large scale enterprise kubernetes bullshit! What the fuck is kubernetes, a Greek god?? 4 plus years experience in aws! 5 years experience in cloud infrastructure scaling! 5 years experience in working with stakeholders and collaborating UX design! 5 years experience in React Native! 5 years experience in noSQL! 5 years experience in firebase! 5 years experience in graphics design! 5 years experience in node CSS! And every javascript known to mankind! I would love to meet this legendary developer that every company seems to want! Sick of these ads that ask for god level experience in every development role or tech. It’s like they’re hiring one developer to write their entire system from scratch which would obviously require godly expertise in front back and every fucking end there is to fucking build

STOP. LOOKING. AT. HALF. FINISHED. SPRINTS. FOR. STYLING. ERRORS.

For the love of god I know it's not right yet leave me aloooooone

I just love it when our clients decide to make a clone of live production server..then put it immediately online..and don't tell anyone about this.. and then start bitchin how data gets doubled all of a sudden..

Yeah, no shit sherlock.. you have two prod servers for 'hot swapping' and some services may only be running on one at a time.. You even have a manual on how to switch primary to secondary (turn off services on primary first, then turn them on on secondary and all)..or in case primary actually dies, just turn on services on secondary and you're good to go, right?

So how do ya think cloning the one with running services and putting the clone immediately online will work out?! 🤔

God, I thought it was common sense to not do that..but here I am, bitchin about how people fail to RTFM.. :/ or use brain..fuck..

YouTube. Hate and love for it just like I would for an abusive partner.

Ads!
Wanna build a website with Wix? Fuck no!
Wanna manage WordPress over SSH? Fuck no!
.. well I kind of do but a turd remains a turd regardless of how it's maintained. WordPress can go die from a torture as long as the time everyone has wasted on it loading already. So no, I don't give a flying fuck about WordPress' new interface.
Wanna buy a new Samsung phone despite just having bought a OnePlus already? YOUTUBE, HOW ABOUT YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF AND YOUR SHITTY ALGO?!!

Quality videos though, so many engineering videos and all for free. How amazing is that? I quite like them.

But if I try to like a video and particularly the fucking comments on it, don't you fucking dare putting your fat fingers 1 pixel next to the like button, because then obviously you want to reply to the comment and have a pop-up with the whole comment and all its replies, and an automatically popped up text input field, just so you have to tap back 2 times just to try liking the bloody comment again. Rinse and repeat that 2 times at best, 5 times at worst. What's not to like, right?!

God fucking dammit. At least now I know why those random mentions without any meaningful other text are there in most comment sections. Usability over 9000!!!

Did you know? Microsoft added a new feature.

So if there is an IP conflict, our beloved Windows 10 doesn’t cry with an IP conflict error. Instead it sets an auto configured IP which doesn’t even connect to the network sending the user into confusion and a fit of rage.

Thanks Microsoft™

i understand some developers like to write wrapper functions to handle tedious things, I even understand how to write dynamic SQL queries, but for the love of fucking god and sanity, NEVER FUCKING DO THIS!!!!

Yes its PHP, but its not even bad PHP, its a fucking abomination from hell of PHP.

For the love of god, I spent 2,5 hours debugging why Minecraft from the windows store doesn't work...

The game just shows a red message telling you it didn't work.

I checked the logs, nothing just warnings

I re-installed the game, nothing, same error

Updated java and all parts of the store, nothing....

Obviously I had to install Something called the "xbox identity Provider"... You know... On a PC... For a distinctly PC game to work... Installed by the store... And the provider is also on the store... But it doesn't auto-install with the game

Ever since you migrated to the Microsoft Auth the login experience is awful (I ranted about that already)

How about you do the bare fucking Minimum of an User experience and Install the fucking dependencies when I re-installed something your fucking store??!!!

The fucking bare minimum that every package manager ever created fucking has as a basic requirement?! Are you kidding me?

Rename your fucking services so they make sense and please don't waste everyone's time by having both shitty logs and no dep management for your own apps... Fucks sake

Why is starting a C++ project so overly complicated and annoying?!

So many different compilers. So many ways to organize the files. So many inconsistencies between Linux and Windows. So many outdated/lacking tutorials. So many small problems.

Why is there almost no good C++ IDEs? Why is Visual Studio so bizarre? Why are the CMake official tutorials literally wrong? Why can't we have a standard way to share binaries? Why can't we have a standard way to structure project folders? Why is the linker so annoying to use?

Don't get me wrong, I quite like the language and I love how fast it is (one of the main reasons I decided to use it for my project, which is a game almost comparable to Factorio)... But why is simply starting to write code such a hassle?

I've been programming in Java for years and oh god I miss it so much. JARs are amazing. Packages are amazing. The JDK is amazing. Everything is standardized, even variable names.

I'm so tempted to make this game in Java...

But I can't. I would have a garbage collector in the way of its performance...

For the love of God. Please stop trying to make me download your shitty mobile app. I don’t have room, and I don’t want it. I just want to read the content that YOU SENT TO ME (looking at you, Quora). Nice way to make sure I unsubscribe and never come back. An unclosable pop up on mobile that just has a button to your mobile app while I have limited data and patience doesn’t do it for me. Fuck whoever came up with THAT brilliant decision.

I have to confess. I'm a distro hopper. I've been a distro hopper ever since last year, and it got me tired. I spend entire hours checking distrowatch, partitioning, setting up hardware and drivers and passwords... I've tried to stop, I swear, but every time I do, there goes a new Solus release, an Openbox Debian based new branch, a forensic floppy disk that I know that I won't ever use for real. I just love assigning swap, fighting with rEFInd icons, testing modules, navigate trough different configs... Oh God, I even set up a virtual OpenBSD, just to see what it can do.
My friends have been telling me to stop, because I don't take care of our relation, that I'm becoming a monster. It's shameful and embarrassing to me when they ask me about my day and I say "you know, installing Manjaro on my desktop, and Lubuntu to that crappy old Asus I have for backups" I think I'm going to lose my head some day, this sickness is driving me straight down to the Slackware pits. I should stop it before I try Ratpoison environment but truth be told; I mean not to stop. I'm a distro hopper.
I ride my way live, unstable and restless.

None, for me, but that's why I work as a cybersecurity engineer and not a dev!

But, I do tons of side projects and the reason why I love it: it makes me feel like I'm in God mode. (and helps me solve quite some problems)

Quite ironic, for an atheist ;)

Rant!

When I'm in my "zone" working please for the love of god don't stand behind me staring at me and my screen, every time you do that you make me feel that my privacy is being raped and I can't do anything about it !!

Css was developed by monkeys. I fucking hate how there is no organisation, laying out stuff requires too much work, there are billions of ways to do something. Aligning things in css actually has a web page dedicated to that, seriously, what the fuck????? I love doing backend and creating rest apis but for the love of god i cant stand css and front end in general🤦🤦🤦

Okay you bastards ya got me: I fucking enjoy using Linux as my dev environment.
There, I SAID IT -

BUT DON'T THINK FOR A SECOND IT MEANS THAT I STOPPED HATING IT

Oh the fucking love hate relationship to fucking Linux.

"Hey, ihatecomputers! How many hours per year did you spend fixing internet connectivity issues on Windows?" you ask. Well, close to fucking 0 you goddamned imbecile. But on Linux? I don't even want to talk about it.

And what about that time when I wanted to connect my bluetooth headphones so I could listen to music while studying? Well, by the time my headphones were connected to my machine (usually a one second operation) I had no time left for, you know, actual studying. Oh my god, it's the most trivial fucking thing.

Well, at least that particular issue got solved.

Unlike that fucking Ethernet connection which has been fucking out of commission since I started using fucking Linux. Wifi works just well enough to make it not worth pouring more time into troubleshooting that shit, but just barely though because my wifi IS FUCKING DOGSHIT ON LINUX

...

But fuck me if it isn't it the most lean thing ever! It's the goddamned opposite of bloated. So smooth and snappy. And free as in slurred speech, or whatever. It makes me happy. When I'm not seething with rage, that is.

Yeah I guess that's it, thanks for tuning in.

~ihatecomputers

One of the first things I learned while screwing around in Linux for the first time was the calendar in the terminal. I never thought I'd have an actual use for cal, and it just sat in the back of my mind for a year.

Then, two weeks ago, I needed to find the date for a saturday in December, because I thought it was the seventh. My duck was like "Hey, your terminal is right there, why not use that cal function instead of looking for your calendar?" And I was like "Dude, that's genius!"
I have since done it thrice more for various reasons, and it has saved me like four minutes in total. I love all the little things like this in Linux (I'm pretty sure Windows and obviously MacOS do the same thing with practically the same command, but shut up and let me enjoy myself (and it just feels more accessable in Linux because I use the terminal so much more often))

So yeah
Stuff

God I need something to do...
Wait! I have several things to do! The first one will be making a list of all my projects.
Or spending another two hours on devRant.

git branch maintenance.

Because certain people like to push to master.

YOU STUPID APPLICATION MANAGER STOP PROLONGING THIS MEETING FOR THE LOVE OF GOD this is a daily scrum not a status report you solid twat stop asking when something will be done when it hasn't even been worked on yet

Dev: "I'll start working on the thing today, might take a day or two to finish development"
Twat: "Will it be ready for testing tmorrow"
D: "Maybe by late tomorrow? If all goes well"
T: "So it'll be tested by tomorrow"
D: "Uhhhh wait"
T: "It'll be done by tomorrow"
D: "But"

GODDAMNIT MAN HE'LL TELL YOU TOMORROW IF IT'S DONE OR NOT AND IF IT CAN BE TESTED I want to punch you so hard in the face with a spiked mallet covered in wasp stingers and hello kitty juice to excacerbate your diabetes you filthy piece of excrement waiting to be smeared across the pavement with my boot

Lets create a library.

Lets use that library in a project.

Lets wrap the library call in a wrapper functione to remove duplicate code.

Lets add an overloaded wrapper call that wraps the wrapper call that calls the library to partially undo the duplicate code removal.

Lets add another overloaded wrapper call that wraps the wrapper call that wraps the wrapper call that calls the library to partially undo the duplicate code removal.

How I love it. Not.

Sometimes redundancy makes sense, especially when it are two lines which make it obvious whats going on vs a single line that leads to a fuckton of overloaded wrapper functions.

Sheeesh.

Today in "code monkeys deserve divine punishment".

Another funny thing is creating a Helper class for Junit 5 tests, making it instantiable and adding to it all kinds of shit like testcontainer creation, applications instantiation, mocks, ....

... Then " crying " why the tests are so slow.

Yeah. Logic. Isolation of concerns, each test should be a stand alone complex.

But that would lead to redundancy... Oh no.

Better to create a global state god object.

Some devs... Really amaze me, especially when they argument in ways that makes one really wonder whether they are serious or just brain dead.

Google, why the fuck did you make the Android default USB connection type be "charging," and NOT "MTP"?! And leave no way to EVER set default to MTP!!!

EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME I plug my phone into my pc to transfer files, I have to open my notifications shade, scroll to the bottom to the fixed notifications, and change the mode to MTP, at which point the phone has to re-establish its connection to the pc!

This has been an issue from Android M and onwards. Nonetheless, Google still left in the settings app under developer options on rooted devices, the setting to choose which default USB connection mode you want to use. Even though it doesn't stay on what you choose!! It's like they left that there to purposely toy with us and get a good fucking laugh from our needless suffering.

Google, I love so much of what you do and your approaches, but honestly, some of the things you do, like this and for disabling Chrome extensions on Chrome internal pages, makes me want to strangle you and then throw you in a river of molten lava.

TL;DR: My devices all hate me and I needed to fix them all.

My Devices really love me.

I rooted my smartphone (LG G5) just yesterday. Everything went fine. Installed TWRP, SuperSU and some nice Apps that utilize root.

Today I was on the go (at CeBIT) and already had the Xposed Installer App on my phone, but didn't attempt installing it yet because I needed my phone for Maps and Messaging and the app had given clear warning about the bricking-potential.

So to the end of the day I get bored, send my last important Messages, installed the Xposed Framework...
... aaaand got stuck in a boot loop.

So I got on my way back home (thanks God I remembered all the trains I needed to take). On the way I had a lot of fun in the Recovery-Terminal and figured that I should be able to fix my phone with no problem at home because the installer made backups (unlike myself).

Coming back home and my pc was still running (should've shut down after installing updates).
The pc behaved odd and I couldn't shut it down properly, which led to cutting the power.
And upon booting my pc I got a ... give it a guess ...
...a bootloop (technically the animation just never ended).

So after I fixed my phone with my spare laptop (just transferred and executed the uninstaller for xposed) I fixed my PC too, which had an old broken dkms-driver.

The odd thing about this is, that this isn't technically a rant. I guess you can confirm that you can't find any swear words.
Because I ENJOYED fixing the devices. I already fixed my pc a couple of times was well as unbricking my rooted phones, so there was fairly little research involved.
I guess I'm now offically twisted.

Now, after my smartphone backups are transferred, I'Ll take my device apart and replace the camera glass which arrived today (and hope, no pray, that my sim card does still work after that)...
... after I blatendly copied a meme to get more attention. 😉

The Cloud Of Bullshit

Every day I wake, and I think of my one true mission in life. To mock and ridicule paint huffing idiots. Something recently that drew my ire, like the hemorrhoids on my ass is this idea of 'the cloud', THE CLOUD and the buzzword lingo-bingo bullshit that providers use to hype and sell it.

For example, airtable is an amazing service. I love that I can insert just about anything into a row, create any of my own row datatypes, that it's flexible as all hell.

I love it.

And I hate that I'm essentially locked in to the cloud.
I fucking hate how if my internet goes down (thanks you pie eating inbred dipshits at comcast) I have no access.
If the company is bought, they'll shut down like all the rest , to be "relaunched at a later time" (or never).
I hate that if the company doesn't make enough money, or it's investors change their mind, woopsie, service is shut down.
I hate that the cloud is synonymous with massive data leaks and IOT-levels of stupidity in security practices.

Every time someone says "but its in the cloud! Isn't it amazing!"

I always think 1. YEAH IF IM AN INVESTOR I GET TO MILK LOW BROW FINGER PAINTING FUCKWITS EVERY MONTH like Adobe sucking the blood from infants who are still in college.

2. Why? So I can get locked into their platform, have them segment off previously free features (fucking youtube and the 'subscribe so you can continue playing audio with your screen off' bullshit), and then have fees increase month over month?

3. Why, so every four years during the presidential selection, if I piss off some fuckstick braindead lemming literally sucking his girlfriends BFs cock, they can potentially shut me out from my own data completely?

The Cloud is built on shit-colored hype sold to knob gobbling idiots, controlling idiots, profiting at the expense of idiots, and later fucking them for buyout payola. The Cloud is a Cloud of Bullshit shat out by huckster messiahs straight into the lapping mouths of fanatics worshiping slavishly like toilet drinking scum at the porcelain alter of a neon god, invisible, untouchable, and like a spigot, easily shut off without anyone noticing. And when it happens, I'll be there, shouting "WHERE IS YOUR CLOUD NOW?"

Native any day. 100% native or I don't fucking want it
None of this node.js-gone-native bullshit either with notetaking apps taking up hundreds of megabytes of ram, where everything is bootstrap or react, in a browser, in a window container, because people are so fucking incompetent we have to hold their hand WHILE they give themselves a reach around.

Native or nothing.

For my favorite notetaking app, I use Microsoft OneNote. "OH god, a heathen, quick, stick his body up on a stake!"

But hear me out. I'll be the first one in a crowd to kick bill gates in the nuts (not because I particularly hate microsoft, just because I think hes kind of a cunt).

So when I say onenote is good, I really fucking mean it. Sure they did some cunty things like 'dumbed down' the interface, and cut out some options. But you know what they can't do?
Shut down the damn service (short of a system update completely removing the whole app, which, frankly, wouldn't surprise me).

It's so god damn good it waxed my balls, cured my cancer, fixed my relationship with my father, found my long lost brother, and replaced ALL my irl notebooks.

It's so good that if it was cocaine I'd be hospitalized for overusing it.

So god damn good it didn't just replace all my notebooks, it even replaced and sped up my mockup process three to five times. Want layers?

Built in. Just drag an image on to the notebook to import instantly.

Want to rearrange layers? Right click select "send forward/back/bring to front/send to back".

Everything snaps to grid by default and is easily resizeable.

I had all the elements for a UI sliced and diced. Wanted to try a bunch of layouts. Was gonna take me two damn days.

Did it in three hours with the notebook features of onenote.

After I started using onenote, me and my bodypillow finally conceived even.

Sweet marries mammaries I just fucking jizzed. Thank you onenote.

P.s. It really did speed up my UI design, allows annotated images, highlighted text. Shit, it can even do kanban.

And all I can think is "good job microsoft making an awesome product for free, being dumb as fuck for not charging for it, and then not marketing it at ALL."

It was sheer fucking luck that I discovered it while was I was looking for vendor STD bloatware to blast off my new install.

OneNote: Worth a try even for the kick-gates-in-the-nuts fan club.

The cloud can suck my balls.

is it just me, or do some people just make life difficult for the fucking sake of making life difficult?

now, lets ignore the lack of sanitised data, lets also ignore the lack of prepared statements, and for the love of god... lets ignore some magic numbers, because I still don't know what they mean yet....

but why! why would you create an array, implode it, smash it into a database query on the fucking fly, instead of just adding the data into the query in the first place.... it's not like you were doing this right to begin with, but this... this is next level!

Ever since i was a little boy, i was fascinated by the stars in the sky and what made them shine. I used to wonder how our universe came in to being. What made it what it is today. What will happen to it long after we re gone. Will it die? Will it live forever? How big is it? Why is it big if it s big and why is it small if it s small. "God did it" was never a satisfying answer for me. God does not play dice as Albert Einstein said. So many questions went through my 10 12 year old mind. Until someone recommended to me the book, "A brief history of time". The book answered a lot of my questions and gave birth to more. Computer science is like my crush. I love it as a friend. But Astrophysics, its the true love of my life. It not only quenches my thirst, but it satisfies my curiosity, while making me more curious. Its an endless cycle. It teaches us that we came from the stars, we go back in the dirt, and only to be returned to the stars again.
Stephen Hawking, his work, his books, taught me so much. Inspired me. Made me more curious. And today the world has truly lost, one of its greatest people.
You will be missed Sir Hawking. RIP.

After months of searching for jobs, ended up I got called by a guy who claimed that he would want to partner with me to start a company. Well, I would love to start one, not without certain knowledge.

The so-called "partner" has a very bad attitude, unable to communicate, blames others for his own wrongdoing, arrogant, gullible and ignorant.

He asked me whether I believe in a deity (God). He demanded me to swear to the "upper heavens" that I will get "eternal punishment" if I ever cheated or betray his every decision.

This is a huge red flag!

I just want to have a "will smith slap" him so hard.

For the love of god it’s only been 54 minutes and it’s already too early for your bullshit.

Waking up from a dream with a girl in it.
TL;DR: We fell in love and I can finally somehow remember her. Not completely though...

(To the perverts: We did not have sex nor did we kiss.)
The worlds I am becoming a part of are very complex. I won't get into the details of how they look like. I will tell as far as I can remember.

<vaguely remember the beginning>
My sister, my mom and I went into a house which turned out to have weird things inside.
Suddenly I became something like an agent and I had a special mission. I went to the basement of this building. Saw a few guys chilling there. Grabed a walkie talkie which was taped on the right wall. I have listened to it while moving back to the entrance, when I have arrived there, it began to do disortion type of sounds.

<I have been to a lot of different places here. Telling each of them would make me to not come to an end lol>

Then I have decided to go outside. The outside-of-the-house world changed. I was at floor 8 or something like that. It was very high when I looked down. All of the sudden I got into a waterfall type of thing which was about to suck me in to a circle. The waterfall was limited to the area of where this house was. It was basically hovering above the streets, but never reaching the streets.

I somehow met the lovely girl in a cube type of thing that helped us not to fall down through the spiral. We enjoyed the action the waterfall created. It made us move in a circle and we had to hold ourselves at the wall of the cube which luckily had knobs to hold on.

After that whole action I have been in my bed and sleeping. She somehow found me on a social media platform and contacted me with "Meet me on <some strange date>".

<some unlogical world shit happens here. I will just skip them until the date>

The day to meet her comes. She is up on a hill with a "purple?<idk it was purple-ish>" sky.

<can not remember the dialogue>

We had a great time and I felt that she had feelings for me.
She then went away. What about me? And me, too. ;)

The next day I went to see her again. She was gone. I found out that she has a brother. I talked to him about where she might be. Turns out her brother was a demon or satan <idk they all became agressive and god-like powerful lol>.
He told me that she must be there where <random name of enemy> is to fight the enemy to rescue her mom.

Her brother went to help her. I followed him since I did not know where the enemy was. Let alone where I was. The world has changed for the 99999th fucking time lol.

I followed him up another hill with trees and a lot of people. It was autumn.

Then we found her sitting on a hill looking down to the sea beneath us with cherry blossom trees around her.

The dream was about to end. I felt it. So I have asked her a few questions after the happy greeting, but I can not remember them and her answer anymore. But I do remember that she did not say anything after one question. She just stared at me looking through my eyes which immediately did end the dream.
I was able to get into the dream shortly after it a few times, but I was not able to interact with them.

Besides of that: I have had "Battle Symphony-Linkin Park" playing as a background music for the whole dream a long.

The good thing is that I somehow would be able to recreate her. I know how she looks like to about 60%.

I do not even know why the fuck I am telling y'all this.

Ok so to recap, we had shit beginning. We couldn't find client like 3 months and thank god that we agreed that we don't register the firm right away. If we did we would be broke a long time ago.

We found first client and he wanted to build some scrapers with gui. So me being BackEnd developer I created API for scraping (boredom) and my friend created website for that api and I just created gui that displays that site. The project was about 1200$. And since there are 3 of us we splited it into 3x400$.

After that it was again really hard to find clients again. We thought of quitting and just going to uni or something but we really didn't want to and anyways we needed to get money for uni ourselfs if we wanted to go.

So we said that as we are not paying anything and not losing money we will continue as long as we can.

And after we managed to get a hold of it and now we have 2 clients and after we finish them we have 2 more.

So I think the most important thing is that you help your coworkers. My friend who finds clients had a rough time at the beggining as I mentioned. So all 3 of us got together and started spamming people for few weeks. That's how we found our first client.

So now we are running. Not a milion dollar company but we are happy that we are doing what we love and that we have money doing it. We aim higher but we don't want to hurry and screw things up as we are young still.

Also thank you for getting interested after 300 days :)

Reasons why I hate the hospital I work for...

1. NO fucking budget, for fuck sakes our telecom system is still running Merlin Magix. (I’ve been working on getting the trunk and everything to at least push FreePBX out... Configuration configuration.) but, that requires a decent server to host said system... But guess what? We’ve still got a few servers online that are running server 2012 r2. NO FUCKING BUDGET.

2. Training. They don’t have the budget to send me to training, but the doctors here are rolling in Mercedes... Must be fucking nice.

3. I have 5 f-I-v-e job descriptions. I’m a bio medical technician, network admin, system admin, programmer, and help desk... I fucked up allowing them to know I program.

4. On call 365 days a year. That’s nice and all, but when I’ve got shit to do and the nearest Walmart is an hour away I don’t want a call from Louis “oh the printer has a jam” FUCK OFF LOUIS! Get the paper out, we’ve been over this, I believe in you!

5. Some of the FUCKING (l)users.... You wouldn’t imagine some of the calls I receive, some of my favorite being late late “Hey *anonyops* I know it’s late but we’re needing a chair moved from one room to the other.” FUCK YOU YOU CHEEKY FUCKING CUNT.

The only reason I’m still here is my direct supervisor and a hand full of people that I’ve grown to love. Also, because any computer related job here is either outsourced or filled by a YouTubing god. - reason 1 why I started my own business. Supply and demand.

Rural Kansas Hospitals = shit, inb4 thanks —insert president to blame—

I've got a rant-type question:

Why would you EVER use Google Chrome?

There are a million browsers in the world, you could've used Firefox, Opera, Vivaldi, Brave, Bad Wolf, Qute, st, Epiphany etc, but you chose to uss Google Chrome.

What would be the reason you would ever choose Google Chrome over any of the million browsers, out of which many of them get the job done much better than Chrome? Okay, I get it why you might use IE or Edge, cause you might be too lazy to install any other browser or you just want the performance benefits you get with Edge which totally, most definatelly, a very big plus point for Edge.

*"Chrome has a balanced-bloat out of all browsers"*
But how tf does that matter? That doesn't even help performance wise anyways.

I can't get over the fact that I have to see/hear about 'Chrome hogging RAM' EVERYWHERE. Like, why do you even care about the god damn browser? Why is it a standard over the million other browsers that exist? Why can't the general public be educated that browsers have choices (just like phones) and you don't have to spit crap over people who don't use Chrome.

It just drives me crazy of how many people hate Chrome, and still it's a 'default' browser.

I would quote Vivaldi (the company/browser):
'A browser should adapt to you, not the other way around.'

(Disclaimer: Rant of a former Firefox, qute, st, Opera, OperaGX, Edge, and ofcourse, Chrome user. Currently in deep love with Vivaldi.)

I'm done ranting. Have a nice day!

(My first post here, if I did something wrong, let me know! I'll make sure I don't do it again!)

Alright, biiiiig rant time.

Shitty webdevs who randomly use an entire framework for some tiny feature in the middle of their codebase because they couldn't figure out how to do it with native and completely fucking up their syntax, consistency and standards set beforehand (not that there were any to begin with, this dude program's​ like 3-4 people just jumbled all their crap into one massive pile).
Not only that but throughout the entire backend this guy flip-flops on passing an the error value before results in his callbacks, so now i have to check his functions everytime I use them after spending 2-3 sessions debugging to figure out wtf was going wrong.

Please for the love of god, if you wanna dance to your own beat, LEAVE COMMENTS

KALI FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAN YOU NOT BREAK YOUR BOOT PACKAGE FOR 24 FUCKING HOURS

the initrd isn't at all valid and the vmlinuz package is 0 bytes.

Let's start by saying: God do I love programming and hate work!

My dream job would be a place where I get to write quality code for something that's actually useful and makes sense to people (or a group of people) without all the usual job bullshit; all the politics, fucking useless hours of meetings, the pretentious ass holes, and the useless mindless product owners with good pay to live comfortably and some organization (not being a complete disaster). It's only a dream though...

It really irks me when I see 'web developers' and 'front-end developers' write CSS like a bunch of first-timers. Not considering hierarchy, specificity or even following a proper naming convention (who the fuck mixes camel case AND lowercase for class names?!) It's worse when you already have Sass or SCSS and they still write their style rules WITHOUT PROPER NESTING or keep using !important like it was a goddamn semicolon.

This is fucking basic shit for a web or front-end developer, and God help you if I ever conduct your technical interview and decide to ask you on a whim to write an Angular app WITHOUT USING BULLSHIT SYSTEMS LIKE CLARITY, ANGULAR MATERIAL OR BOOTSTRAP for your UI. But if you can explain to me the pros and cons between using CSS grid and flex, I'll be fucking impressed.

I wish these 'UI experts' I keep encountering would learn to build an optimal static site without a fucking framework or build manager before doing advanced shit, for the love of Jeebus.

Well, everytime I build a pc for a friend I'll always end up telling myself "this is the last time". Not bc I have a problem with building pc's, I love it, but its the "free of charge" 24/7 IT-support my non techy (techii?) friends expects from me after the build is done I hate.

So here's the deal.
A week ago I built a brand new pc for a friend, as usual (bc he's a good friend) I told him that my "fee" would be a couple of beers and the train ticket up. So I got there, built the pc and we hooked it up to his monitor. About 5sec in to windows the screen went black. My friend started to panic, and I started to check if all the components and cables were hooked up right (tho I've done this a couple of times, shit can happen) but found nothing was wrong.
I had to take the train home, cause it got late AF and I live in another city, but I told him to try another cable. Felt bad AF for not being able to help him.
Flash forward 2 days, my friend started messaging me late in the evening, complaining about how he had tried everything and ultimately had to leave the pc at an (as he called it) "proffesional" who charged him 100$.
I felt even guiltier about that one, asked him if he tried to change the hdmi, but he said that's in The hands of this guy now.
Two days later this PC God gave him an answer.
Guess What he told him?
CHANGE THE ***** HDMI CABLE.
Well, shit..
Afterwards he wanted help installing drivers over fb-messenger.
I love my friends, but man why do I do this to myself.

Man, I'm sure there are a million of these posts right now but...

The hiring market and hiring culture nowadays is so damn frustrating. I have a decade of experience in multiple senior/lead/principal roles at both big name companies and high-growth startups, along with a very well-written resume.

Even with this, I can barely get an interview these days. I'll apply to a role that lists qualifications for which I'm an exact fit, and either get a quick auto-denial or just never hear back at all. It doesn't matter if I custom-craft my resume and cover letter to match the job description or just send my standard resume and cover letter. We all love those pandering and patronizing "We know that this isn't the news you wanted to hear, but keep trying! Maybe you'll be good enough for us someday!" auto-denial email.

Sometimes I'll receive a denial, look back at the job posting, that they needed somebody with NLP experience or something, and say to myself "Fair enough, that makes sense." Other times, I'll look at the posting and say "Oh come on, I check every single box." It makes you wonder "What the fuck are you actually truly looking for?"

Sometimes I'll look at the company's current employees and see that almost every single one is ex-FAANG, indicating that the company will almost only hire other ex-FAANG employees (despite there being thousands of other well-qualified candidates out there who are just as talented and skilled as those ex-FAANG candidates.)

Other companies seem to be "brand shopping" for ex-FAANG employees after all the recent FAANG layoffs, hoping to land a bargain on an ex-Google engineer so they can brag that their product was built by the same people who built Google.

Then there's the question of even making it past the ATS and in front of an actual human's eyes. The hiring culture seems to be an ATS SEO game nowadays. God forbid that you didn't include the super secret magic keyword in your resume, else you'll automatically be filtered out and denied.

It's just incredibly frustrating and makes you wonder what kind of candidate you need to be to even get a first round interview nowadays. Do we all need to have a glowing personal recommendation from the ghost of Steve Jobs in order for a 50-person startup to even open our resumes?

Just got accepted as a volunteer (teacher assistant) in a non-profit organization, funded by Microsoft.
They teach high school students CS twice a week.
I know it might not be much, because I will not be payed, but I will be trained and teach alongside Google and Microsoft engineers.
The organization is called TEALS.

I hope it is a good experience and build a good network.
I do not have any friends, nor any engineer friend since I moved in USA, so I think this is a good opportunity.

P.S. Please for the love of god do not bash here Microsoft. Everyone, even the people who rant about hating Microsoft, will accept a job there if they got the chance. So please stop the hypocrisy if you intend to do some "sarcastic" comment about this organization funded by Microsoft.

I wish my classmates didn’t know that I’m good at programming.

Recently, more and more often I am being reached out to by my classmates (and especially by one individual) about the problems they’re having issues with. For example yesterday, a guy fucked up his Git commit and made a bunch of merge conflicts, so I helped him fix this, which then lead to WinForms having multiple declarations of same objects.

And I really don’t wanna be rude, and I always try to help, for the love of god - stop bothering me every 5 minutes while I code, or at 10 PM while I wanna chill out.

Most of the things they have problems with can be solved by 2 minute Googling and I strongly believe that at the university level, you should be able to find solutions for your problems yourself - especially when you’re a programmer.

In a world of password managers that can generate complex passwords of any length, please for the love of God include why my chosen password was rejected.

Don't decide to truncate the password without informing the user because, and this is key, they won't be able to use your service.
Looking at you GoDaddy.

I just look at the calendar and notice I have 3 days to do what I was supposed to do in 3 weeks.
Coffee, music and for the love of God don't speak to me

After 9 weeks of waiting for my much delayed dell xps 15 i opened the box and it's fucking azerty ... While i clearly, CLEARY requested qwerty. I mentioned it 4 fucking times for the love of god make sure the keyboard is fucking QWERTY .. THEY GAVE ME AZERTY .. on top of that shittrain they also forgot to include​ my integrated fingerprint reader which i paid extra for.. man what a fucking shit company .. they might make half decent hardware but they piss all costumers of with their insanely bad braindead costumer service and sales team.

9 weeks of waiting , receiving the wrong configuration, probably again 5 more weeks of waiting.. man im starting to hate this shit company.

** PSA to all programming language and tool maintainers **

Please for the love of god have a dedicated examples section on your website where people can quickly evaluate what the thing even looks like

So often the next best thing is going to the docs where they tell you that the turboblub option should be set to 12 in these specific usecases whEN I DON'T eVEN KNoW WHETHER THIS IS A PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE OR A LAWN MOWER

Random guy: Hey you're from Mexico ! Let's party and drink Tequila, let's go for Mamacitas !!!

Me: no, I have to work!

Random guy: come on you Mexicans don't work, and always wears a Zarape !

Me: Come on man ! It's fucking 21th century !!! You can't think that way ! I don't fucking wear a Zarape, I don't like Tequila and for the love of God is so wrong to call women "Mamacitas"

So, learning Java at the moment.

Thoughts so far:

“This IDE is going to make me so lazy! It can write getters, setters, AND toString() for me?!”

“Oh my god, angle brackets. It’s like someone with a love of nesting was made fun of for wasting space and retaliated by crafting a language that inlined nesting data types.”

“Whoa, this would safeguard what kind of input went into the function SO MUCH.”

“DOES THIS MAKE IT EASIER TO WRITE UNIT TESTS?! *excited*

I love good advertisement but I hate bad products with "good" ads!

It's so difficult to find a reliable and up-to-date source for what's a good and bad game engine at the time. Every engine says it's the best. Every browser says it's the fastest. Every anti-virus app says it's the safest. God damn, come of with creative way and don't say your product is the best! *tilted*

So I was writing docs for my project the hard way. Manually. Every time I added something new, I had to find the right place for it to be alphabetically in the reference. And god forbid I want to have the same information in two pages: I would need to copy/ paste and pray that I not forget to update the information EVERYWHERE.

I didn't feel like installing and learning some new markdown generating bullshit so I just made my own system. It's very simple and intuitive and I love it.

I made sure it can cover two use case: reading partial documents from the disk, and rendering in-memory objects to markdown too (like rendering a collection of tuples into a table)

I didn't care much for templating, so there's no templating capability.

I love my adhd kicks. My webstorm trial ended, I downloaded vscode, hated the bindings, I then used thr intellij extension. Everything ok expect autocomplete, not a fan of tab, couldn't use enter to enter enter as a binding. Hacked that binding.json, idk how i ended up installing a json sorter extension, ow theres a imports sorter. Okay what exactly i wanted to do? Right, do my niche site. Bad idea, i had written it in kotlin js, (missing intellij already) so i searched for almost non-scripting framework. Idk what happened...i ended up being interested in tailwind. Tried it a bit, ow they have tailwind ui. Thinking about buying the sweet shit. Ow i see headless UI... Pause, threw tailwind out. Thinking about react, met Solid, loved it, yarned and npmed it. Extension time, auto tag rename, more emmet like shit, rainbow and fira fonts, theme, scheme, ow colors whaaaw. Okay, its not gonna look like or feel like intellij, more like IDEA community if i had made the ide. What was i making again? Ah my webcrapp. still (idea)less... I went to codepen, grew a beard, came out, still feeling powerfully uncreative. Last stop: awwwards.. ow that awesome 7up nl site, imma see it, they nuked the animations, everything. This is where the rant actually ends, because THANK GOD I DONT FULLSTACK FOR A LIVING!!! Swift, Kotlin, XML and unpredictable Gradle is good enough for me to stop me from going wild. Stay safe. Genetic.🙋‍♂️

I really think there should be a subject in every CS course to teach us how to handle/work-under Grade-A assholes and dumbfucks. Not that it would help, but atleast warn us on what we are getting into.

In my opinion, development is not *that* hard or frustrating but is made so by these shitty people. But again, what do I know.

I was scolded by my boss for using for-loop to iterate through an array recently. Apparently for-loop is not used in real world projects and this iteration should be done "in-memory". My colleagues and I are still trying to understand and process that.

I was asked to add fitbit integration to a project within 2 hours just because I had "already done it a week ago" in *another* project. Luckily, it was then given to a "senior" developer who took 4 days for it and essentially copy-pasted my work without much changes, ofcourse it stopped working every now and then.

I am given unreal deadlines on my tasks, on technologies I haven't worked on before, and then expected to churn out production ready code with no bugs in them.

My boss literally just sends me the links of 1st three google results on the problems I encounter and report, after humiliating me ofcourse. Yes, I did google it and yes I went through all I could find from Google forums to GitHub issues. When the library/plugin author himself says that this feature is not yet available, don't expect me to develop it in 2 hours you dumbfuck.

And for the love of God, please stop changing the data model every single day and justify it with agile development. Think before making any changes to it. Ever heard of Join queries? Foreign keys? Or any other basic database concepts.
We reached a point where each branch in the repo had different data model. Not kidding. And we were a team of just 4 developers. Atleast inform us when you change models after discussing it with your shit for knowledge "senior" developer, so we don't have to redo it all over again. The channels on slack are not for sharing random articles only.

I am just waiting to complete my year here.

I should have known what I got myself into the day he asked me to remove the comments I had added to explain what my code does. Why you ask? Because "we don't write comments".

For the love of god startups don’t need Kubernetes setup. Stop doing this, please.

I don't need you to reiterate what the problem is. I am aware. I was the one who told you what the problem is. Via email and Slack. Why do you keep restating it to me like you are the one who figured out? I know the table isn't syncing with the third party object. I'm trying to figure out WHY. No amount of "I'm pretty sure the sync process is broken" will trigger a solution. Stop coming into my office every 5 minutes with a new "revelation" that wasn't even your own. This isn't my code, and since the owner of said code is not here to fix it, I have to spend some time figuring out how this damn thing works. SO PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LET ME WORK SO I CAN FIX THIS

Oh my god I love when you just have that "click" moment when you just understand EVERYTHING. I've been trying to understand how WordPress worked and found a great video series by Mr Digital on youtube and now understand the inner workings of WordPress instead of just the general aspect on how to install a theme or how to use a plugin.

People say there are tons of resources online but a very small amount of them actually work for most people. I just glad I understand it now.

How do you deal with massively poorly-performing and unknowledgeable teams?

For background, I've been in my current position for ~7 months now.

A new manager joined recently and he's just floored at the reality of the team.

I mean, a large portion of my interview (and his) was the existing manager explicitly warning about how much of a dumpster fire everything is.

But still, nothing prepares you for it.

We're talking things like:
- Sequential integer user ids that are passable as query string args to anonymous endpoints, thus enabling you to view the data read by that view *for any* user.
- God-like lookup tables that all manner of pieces of data are shoved into as a catch-all
- A continued focus on unnecessary stored procedures despite us being a Linq shop
- Complete lack of awareness of SOLID principles
- Actual FUD around the simplest of things like interfaces, inversion of control, dependency injection (and the list goes on).

I've been elevated into this sort of quasi-senior position (in all but title - and salary), and I find myself having to navigate a daily struggle of trying to not have an absolute shit fit every time I have to dive into the depths of some of the code.

Compounded onto that is the knowledge that most of the team are on comparable salaries (within a couple thousand) of mine, purely owing to length of service.

We're talking salaries for mid-senior level devs, for people that at market rates would command no more (if even close) than a junior rate.

The problem is that I'm aware of how bad things are, but then somehow I'm constantly surprised and confronted with ever more insane levels of shitfuckery, and... I'm getting tired.

It's been 7 months, I love the job, I'm working in the charity sector and I love the fact that the things I'm working on are directly improving people's lives, rather than lining some fintech fatcat's pockets.

I guess this was more a rant than a question, and also long time no see...

So my question is this:

- How do you deal with this?
- How do you go on without just dying inside every single day?

All sysadmins, PLEASE! For the love of God just block port 21 in any direction from anywhere, going anywhere.. FTP needs to die.. The f**king protocol predates tcp/ip for God's sake! We need to stop project managers using it, it's a nightmare!!

SCStudentRant?

I have a subj called "Fundaments of Operative Systems" (or something along those lines), and I have 2 crappy teachers, one for the theory classes, the other for the exercise classes.
The exercise classes teacher is said to be the worst in uni and every time I think about that class I get a bit anxious because I can never do anything in it. Basically we don't get taught code in theory classes and he just comes and says "do this exercise" without explaining anything first. And when he does I still don't understand it.
I bet like 90% of us have no idea how to program in C and we need that for those classes. I hate C with a passion because of this.
In the theory classes, the teacher explains most of the things without powerpoints, and when we don't understand something (either ask about something he said or what's written in the board), he REFUSES to explain or say what's written, because he has "explained it before". He even chuckles as if it was really funny that we can't read his handwriting or just didn't listen because we were writting things down OH MY GOD. So most of the times when I copy things from the boards and then look at them at home I'm like "what the hell is this, this doesn't make any sense, what did he even write" (has some word that looks like what he wrote with ?? around it)
I think they wanna watch us fail. I really do.
I kinda understand the theory classes, but half the test is writing code. How am I gonna write code if I don't understand it? I have a work for that subj to deliver until monday but I can't make it work because I don't know the code I have to write. Damn it all to hell jesus christ

Additional note: they're both in their 60s and should be retiring not long from now so maybe that's why they act so carelessly.
Love the uni, not so much some of the teachers

Sooooo

First of all sorry for lack of ranting
But this people started to behave.

UNTIL YESTERDAY. You gonna love it.

Junior coding front end. HE NOT TOUCHING BACKEND THANK GOD.
He realises his suggestion made him to do some changes in the code. Apparently that is the end of the wolrd "a developer proposing a change and then the code must be changed??? No no" that's how his brain works. Check this.

He decides not to do two pages for creating models so he combined two models in one page. TWO MODELS IN ONE PAGE. Sooo modelB depends on ModelA. Fine. front end:" so backend has to change because im doing this in one page"
Me:" mmm no, you said treat them as separate entities besides they are on the same screen"
He:" ok, but then if I create all together the modelB is going to raise an error"
(Let me tell you he says this with expert voice, because he said "raise" and "error" so he got technical now)

*my boss said some white noise irrelevant to the conv but he is happy because he contributed and is involved*
Me:"the way data is sent has nothing to do with the way data is shown"

He:" whatever crap he can say trying to prove his point desperately "
Me: "yes, but the backend is not going to change every time a form/page changes the way to display data"

He"i dont think u understand "
Me:" i think i do"

AWS I love your stuff! But please for the love of god please invest in writing better documentation!

And the time has come, my gf and I are just a month away from deploying yet we still call the project "project".

Usually solutions jump in my head when programming at least once a day but I can't name the damn thing for the love of God! It's the first night since we started development I have felt clueless.

Plus I don't want to be "that guy" that just gives it a generic name, like there's already a "ratemyprofessors", professor this, teacher that, fuck that shit!

I'm brain dead.

I used to think my first relationship was awful. I went through so much and rather it served as a trigger for my childhood trauma as well.

Little did I know that it would be the best the thing that could happen to me. I grew so much and every next woman I met, I realised how fucking amazing my ex is. God I miss her terribly.

But what happened with my recent fuck up, I am devastated. This toxic women brought out the worst in me. I have never been so hateful against myself or anyone else in the world.

I was love bombed and walked into a trap. I quit as soon as I realised what it was.

My values were comprised. My integrity was put to test. My trust was intentionally broken. During the initial days, she tactically identified my vulnerabilities and insecurities. Then used to sadistically trigger me as often as she can and sit there and watch me in suffer pain.

It led me to self harm and being suicidal.

I am so badly wounded that even after few weeks, I am still discovering all the wounds. It will surely take some time along with external support to build a healing environment for myself and overcome this damage.

I am very angry, terribly hurt, lost and confused. This shit developed a phobia in me. I cannot trust anyone anymore. I constantly live in fear of being hurt (physical, mental, and emotional). I am paranoid of that stalker.

I don't think I'll ever be able to start and build a healthy relationship with anyone. I used to be sooooo fucking strong emotionally and mentally. But now not only my trauma relapsed but I got more issues within me.

I really want to live a free, healthy, happy and a fulfilled life. I don't know when time will heal this but right now, I am in terrible pain and hate myself a lot.

Ok now I'm gonna tell you about my "Databases 2" exam. This is gonna be long.

I'd like to know if DB designers actually have this workflow. I'm gonna "challenge" the reader, but I'm not playing smartass. The mistakes I point out here are MY mistakes.

So, in my uni there's this course, "Databases 2" ("Databases 1" is relational algebra and theoretical stuff), which consist in one exercise: design a SQL database.

We get the description of a system. Almost a two pages pdf. Of course it could be anything. Here I'm going to pretend the project is a YouTube clone (it's one of the practice exercises).

We start designing a ER diagram that describes the system. It must be fucking accurate: e.g. if we describe a "view" as a relationship between the entities User and Video, it MUST have at least another attribute, e.g. the datetime, even if the description doesn't say it. The official reason?

"The ER relationship describes a set of couples. You can not have two elements equal, thus if you don't put any attribute, it means that any user could watch a video only once. So you must put at least something else."

Do you get my point? In this phase we're not even talking about a "database", this is an analysis phase.

Then we describe the type dictionary. So far so good, we just have to specify the type of any attribute.

And now... Constraints.
Oh my god the constraints. We have to describe every fucking constraint of our system. In FIRST ORDER LOGIC. Every entity is a set, and Entity(e) means that an element e belongs to the set Entity. "A user must leave a feedback after he saw a video" becomes like

For all u,v,dv,df,f ( User(u) and Video(v) and View(u, v, dv) and feedback(u, v, f) ) ---> dv < df

provided that dv and df are the datetimes of the view and the feedback creation (it is clear in the exercise, here seems kinda cryptic)

Of course only some of the constraints are explicitly described. This one, for example, was not in the text. If you fail to mention any "hidden" constraint, you lose a lot of points. Same thing if you not describe it correctly.

Now it's time for use cases.
You start with the usual stickman diagram. So far so good.
Then you have to describe their main functions.

In first order logic. Yes.

So, if you got the point, you may think that the following is correct to get "the average amount of feedback values on a single video" (1 to 5, like the old YT).
(let's say that feedback is a relationship with attribute between User and Video

getAv(Video v): int
Let be F = { va | feedback(v, u, va) } for any User u
Let av = (sum forall f in F) / | F |
return av

But nope, there's an error here. Can you spot it (I didn't)?

F is a set. Sets do not have duplicates! So, the F set will lose some feedback values! I can not define that as a simple set!

It has to be a set of couples, like (v, u), where v is the value and u the user; this way we can have duplicate feedback values in our set.

This concludes the analysis phase. Now, the design.

Well we just refactor everything we have done until now. Is-a relations become relationships, many-to-many relationships get an "association entity" between them, nothing new.
We write down on paper every SQL statement to build any table, entity or not. We write down every possible primary key or foreign key. The constraint that are not natively satisfied by SQL and/or foreign keys become triggers, and so on.

This exam is considered the true nightmare at our department. I just love it.

Now my question is, do actually DB designers follow this workflow? Or is this just a bloody hard training in Pai Mei style?

!rant
The most difficult decision all day...

**Day 2 of glaring at the code.😩 The bits are collapsing in front of my eyes into bytes and the glaring dark theme of sublime engraves the code into my retinas. Is it day or is it night? I can no longer tell. Having scoured every corner of the internet and applying every fix I can find the bug persists... was I ever destined to program? For the doubt eclipses my hope of ever seeing the light. I peer over the edge of the world into the abyss and the abyss... **

"Wait 🔎, shouldn't there be apostrophes' in here? MOTHERF-" 😡😠💥☠

**tests**

**works**

*glee* 😄

"God, I love programming!" 😃

So recently I installed Windows 7 on my thiccpad to get Hyperdimension Neptunia to run (yes 50GB wasted just to run a game)... And boy did I love the experience.

ThinkPads are business hardware, remember that. And it's been booting Debian rock solid since.. pretty much forever. There are no hardware issues here. Just saying.

With that out of the way I flashed Windows 7 Ultimate on a USB stick and attempted to boot it... Oh yay, first hurdle to overcome. It can't boot in UEFI mode. Move on Debian, you too shall boot in BIOS mode now! But okay, whatever right. So I set it to BIOS mode and shuffled Debian's partitions around a bit to be left with 3 partitions where Windows could stick in one more.

Installed, it asks for activation. Now my ThinkPad comes with a Windows 7 Pro license key, so fuck it let's just use that and Windows will be able to disable the features that are only available for Ultimate users, right? How convenient would that be, to have one ISO for all the half a dozen editions that each Windows release has? And have the system just disable (or since we're in the installer anyway, not install them in the first place) features depending on what key you used? Haha no, this is Microsoft! Developers developers developers DEVELOPERS!!! Oh and Zune, if anyone remembers that clusterfuck. Crackhead Microsoft.

But okay whatever, no activation then and I'll just fetch Windows Loader from my webserver afterwards to keygen my way through. Too bad you didn't accept that key Microsoft! Wouldn't that have been nice.

So finally booted into the installed system now, and behold finally we find something nice! Apparently Windows 7 Enterprise and Ultimate offer a native NFS driver. That's awesome! That way I don't have to adjust my file server at all. Just some fuckery with registry keys to get the UID and GID correct, but I'll forgive it for that. It's not exactly "native" to Windows after all. The fact that it even has a built-in driver for it is something I found pretty neat already.

Fast-forward a few hours and it's time to Re Boot.. drivers from Lenovo that required reboots and whatnot. Fire the system back up, and low and behold the network drive doesn't mount anymore. I've read that this is apparently due to Windows (not always but often) mounting the network drive before the network comes up. Absolutely brilliant! Move out shitstaind, have you seen this beauty of an init Mr. Poet?

But fuck it we can mount that manually after every single boot.. you know, convenient like that. C O P E.

With it now manually mounted, let's watch a movie! I've recently seen Pyro's review on The Platform and I absolutely loved it. The movie itself is quite good too. Open the directory on my file server and.. oh. Windows.. you just put db.thumb on it and db.thumb:encryptable. I shit you not, with the colon and everything. I thought that file names couldn't contain colons Windows! I thought that was illegal in NTFS. Why you doing this in NFS mate? And "encryptable", am I already infected with ransomware??? If it wasn't for the fact that that could also be disabled with something as easy as a registry key, I would've thought I contracted ransomware!

Oh and sound to go with that video, let's pair up some Bluetooth headphones with that Bluetooth driver I installed earlier! Except.. haha nope. Apparently you don't get that either.

Right so let's just navigate the system in its Aero glory... Gonna need to flick the mouse for that. Except it's excruciatingly slow, even the fastest speed is slower than what I'm used to on Linux.. and it's jerky as hell (Linux doesn't have any of that at higher speed). But hey it can compensate for that! Except that slows down the mouse even more. And occasionally the mouse driver gets fucked up too. Wanna scroll on Telegram messages in a chat where you're admin? Well fuck you mate, let me select all these messages for you and auto scroll at supersonic speeds! And God forbid that you press delete with that admin access of yours. Oh maybe I'll do it for you, helpful OS I am!

And the most saddening part of it all? I'd argue that Windows 7 is the best operating system that Microsoft ever released. Yeah. That's the best they could come up with. But at least it plays le games!

My first experience with any kind of development was in a web mastering class in high school. I got super into it and started going really far ahead in the course materials.

During the second semester most students in the class were not interested at all so I decided to start a business of selling custom tailored assignments to about half the class. It didn't make me rich of course, but it felt good being the HTML / CSS god in the class.

The best part honestly was getting caught. The principal was so impressed at the amount of extra work I'd been doing that he just gave me a detention. Thanks Mr. Murray, for being so cool and not putting me down for doing what I love.

Bruh this memes relates to me so much cause I do a lot of open source and I need to debug and rewrite codes so many times and finally for the love of god, it runs

Multi-Screen problem: So I need to run a VR headset with a laptop, and the laptop has only one hdmi connection. I don't have any extra hdmi adapters, so I cannot connect my second screen while working with the headset, which sucks...
but...
then it hit me...
there is an app called spacedesk which allows you to use your phone as an additional screen. I have a docking station for my phone so I can connect hmdi to it. On the first try the resolution was shit since it uses the default phone resolution. But the phone has Samsung Dex, which allows you to run everything full screen on your connected screen, so I can run the app within Samsung Dex and therefore will get full resolution.

And this works. It's kinda stupid and maybe a bit complicated, but it works. God, I love technology :D:D:D

This is the adapter to adapter to adapter to adapter meme in action, just wireless. Lol. I'm proud of this xD

Please fix this one tiny bug they said. Don’t touch everything, it works, sans the bug, they said. Should take a day or two they said. Please don’t do anything drastic, they said.

Well....

The entire environment is fucked. The current commit for that repo is fucked, and the previous one was just an empty Xcode project. How the fuck can I debug something that isn’t even running? The machine it was built on by the previous engineer that left the company had multiple Xcode projects for the same thing and all of it refused to compile. What?! How the hell it got released to the wild and being used by hundreds of clients is still beyond my comprehension. Adding insult to injury, I eventually discovered there were memory leaks up the wazoo. Great!

So, please for the love of fucking God, leave a working repo for your colleagues before you decide to jump ship!

Welp, this made my night and sorta ruined my night at the same time.

He decided to work on a new gaming community but has limited programming knowledge, but has enough to patch and repair minor issues. He's waiting for an old friend of his to come back to start helping him again, so this leads to me. He needed a custom backend made for his server, which required pulling data from an SQL/API and syncing with the server, and he was falling behind pace and asked for my help. He's a good friend that I've known for a while, and I knew it wouldn't take to long to create this, so I decided to help him. Which lead to an interesting find, and sorta made my night.

It wasn't really difficult, got it done within an hour, took some time to test and fix any bugs with his SQL database. But this is where it get's interesting, at least for me. He had roughly a few hundred people that did beta testing of the server, anyways, once the new backend was hooked in and working, I realized that the other developer he works with had created a 'custom' script to make sure there are no leaks of the database. Well, that 'custom' script actually begins wiping rows/tables (Depends on the sub-table, some get wiped row by row, some just get completely dropped), I just couldn't comprehend what had happened, as rows/tables just slowly started disappearing. It took me a while of checking, before checking his SQL query logs (At least the custom script did that properly and logged every query), to realize it just basically wiped the database.

Welp, after that, it began to restrict the API I was using, and due to this it identified the server as foreign access (Since it wasn't using the same key as his plugin, even though I had an API key created just so it could only access ranks and such, to prevent abuse) and begin responding not with denied, but with a lovely "Fuck you hacker!" This really made my night, I don't know why, but I was genuinely laughing pretty hard at this response.

God, I love his developer. Luckily, I had created a backup earlier, so I patched it and just worked around the plugin/API to get it working. (Hopefully, it's not a clusterfuck to read, writing this at 2 am with less than an hour of sleep, bedtime! Goodnight everyone.)

Fuck MySQL Workbench!
I have spent 2 fucking days diagramming a 350 table database 3 times over because if it doesn't crash and ignore your saves it corrupts its own data and drops the hours of formatting you've done! Now I'm trying to print an ugly un-formatted piece of sh*t because I need to get on a flight to the meeting I need to present this at and it ignores all my default printer settings and wastes 40 A3 sheets of paper. Does Oracle even use the shit they are releasing? For the love of god if you can't maintain it for free fix your fucking bugs and I will buy a license but I cant keep working like this.

I FUCKING HATE IT WHEN I HAVE TO BUILD SOMETHING FROM SOURCE!!!!

So I wanted to install a package with pip. Shouldn't be that difficult, right? RIGHT? Lmao
Things I encountered on this adventure in no particular order:
- multiple undocumented dependencies, only explained on stackoverflow or some github issues
- inconsistent and outdated documentation spread over multiple pages on multiple websites
- Python version can't be too old or too new
- other external software version incompatibilities
- Build process that takes several minutes just to fail, then try again and fail with exactly the same outcome after a few minutes
- fucking SVN is needed?!?!?!
- VS Code is needed for completely manual build ????
- cmd/powershell incompatibilites
- required reboots

At some point I just gave up... Now I don't even remember what I crap I installed that I don't need anymore.
Please for the love of god provide prebuild packages or at least a very SIMPLE build process -_-

For the love of the almighty, merciful God, fuck IBM until their company is brought down in ruins! May the earth they worked at be salted, and may they be struck from all records! May the families who speak of sons or daughters who work there be stripped of their status in life, begging in the streets!

May nobody be allowed to list them on resumes! May nobody be allowed to work for them! May they be a blight, hidden like the dirtiest porn magazines!

May mother's weep when children apply to them! May father's disown!

May managers avoid them! May they be scoffed at like the fools of old!

Oh how the mighty have fallen! The scholars brought low! May they repent before the day of judgement! May the change their ways! May they weep with sackcloth before the world, begging to be spared!

Fuck them! If you can't tell, I am pissed off!

Storytime!

(I just posted this in a shorter form as a comment but wanted to write it as a post too)

TL;DR, smarts are important, but so is how you work.

My first 'real' job was a lucky break in the .com era working tech support. This was pretty high end / professional / well respected and really well paid work.

I've never been a super fast learner, I was HORRIBLE in school. I was not a good student until I was ~40 (and then I loved it, but no longer have the time :( )

At work I really felt like so many folks around me did a better job / knew more than me. And straight up I know that was true. I was competent, but I was not the best by far.

However .... when things got ugly, I got assigned to the big cases. Particularly when I transferred to a group that dealt with some fancy smancy networking equipment.

The reason I was assigned? Engineering (another department) asked I be assigned. Even when it would take me a while to pickup the case and catch up on what was going on, they wanted the super smart tech support guys off the case, and me on it.

At first this was a bit perplexing as this engineering team were some ultra smart guys, custom chip designers, great education, and guys you could almost see were running a mental simulation of the chip as you described what you observed on the network...

What was also amusing was how ego-less these guys seemed to be (I don't pretend to know if they really were). I knew for a fact that recruiting teams tried to recruit some of these guys for years from other companies before they'd jump ship from one company to the next ... and yet when I met them in person it was like some random meeting on the street (there's a whole other story there that I wish I understood more about Indian Americans (many of them) and American engineers treat status / behave).

I eventually figured out that the reason I was assigned / requested was simple:

1. Support management couldn't refuse, in fact several valley managers very much didn't like me / did not want to give me those cases .... but nobody could refuse the almighty ASIC engineers. No joke, ASIC engineers requests were all but handed down on stone tablets and smote any idols you might have.

2. The engineers trusted me. It was that simple.

They liked to read my notes before going into a meeting / high pressure conference call. I could tell from talking to them on the phone (I was remote) if their mental model was seizing up, or if they just wanted more data, and we could have quick and effective conversations before meetings ;)

I always qualified my answers. If I didn't know I said so (this was HUGE) and I would go find out. In fact my notes often included a list of unknowns (I knew they'd ask), and a list of questions I had sent to / pending for the customer.

The super smart tech support guys, they had egos, didn't want to say they didn't know, and they'd send eng down the rabbit hole. Truth be told most of what the smarter than me tech support guy's knew was memorization. I don't want to sound like I'm knocking that because for the most part memorization would quickly solve a good chunk of tech support calls for sure... no question those guys solved problems. I wish I was able to memorize like those guys.

But memorization did NOT help anyone solve off the wall bugs, sort of emergent behavior, recognize patterns (network traffic and bugs all have patterns / smells). Memorization also wouldn't lead you to the right path to finding ANYTHING new / new methods to find things that you don't anticipate.

In fact relying on memorization like some support folks did meant that they often assumed that if bit 1 was on... they couldn't imagine what would happen if that didn't work, even if they saw a problem where ... bro obviously bit 1 is on but that thing ain't happening, that means A, B, C.

Being careful, asking questions, making lists of what you know / don't know, iterating LOGICALLY (for the love of god change one thing at a time). That's how you solved big problems I found.

Sometimes your skills aren't super smarts, super flashy code, sometimes, knowing every method off the top of your head, sometimes you can excel just being more careful, thinking different.

- Make it engaging, and avoid too much bullshit.

- Everyone should get to air their concerns, regardless of your position, everyone should have a say of the matters being discussed.

And for the love of god, compress it, don't make it unnecessary long. It's not fun to attend something that takes an hour of your working time, because time is precious and you lose time to fix shit.

90% of beginner questions are so damn annoying. I get it, some people are new and still learning but for the love of God, I just want to tell these kids to shut the fuck up, sit their ass down and WRITE SOME DAMN CODE, instead of bitching and moaning about what they best language is or how to magically read a tutorial and become a ninja in a day.

Fuck.

Don't you just love customers?

It al began when they showed us the flyers they were printing for their new products, an some one at our company who doesn't work here anymore had the brilliant idea of copying it to their webshop, as a fucking gimmick... Ooohh man the customer didn't seem to understand it was only visually

They wanted the 3d layering effect to be dynamic, so each product would have its own with custom colours

So it was made

A few weeks later they didn't want the informational text, they wanted links to each product that the layer uses

Sounded like logical so it was made

Again some time later, they noticed that the layers were not textured, but just plain

I argued against it because it would add unnecessary loading time for some 300 by 400 px element but they insisted

So they got what they wanted

A few days later they said that the textures were of low quality, and that we had to create ones with higher quality

Again our management said, yes

We made ~ twice the size of the element in image pixels to create a higher definition image

Then the customer wanted that the layers should change based on some selection menu above it

(At this point we realized that it would no longer be just a fun little gimmick)

So we tried to refactor/rebuild it to remove most if not all the hacks we did just to make the customer happy, that took too long for them (the customer) so we had to revert back to the hacked together version because otherwise we would not be done on time (commanded by management)

But again, we ... I say 'we' as in the company but realistically I've been the only one who has worked on the fucking abomination

But I digress...

A few stupid requests later, some layer images are almost fully transparent PNG images that are almost 1mb in Filesize each (some products have 5 or even more layers) and the god damn thing now has to account for optional layers...

I AM FUCKING SPENT... I'VE JUST CAME BACK FROM VACATION BUT I ALREADY NEED IT AGAIN... FUCKING WORKING 60 HOURS A WEEK JUST TO KEEP ONE CUSTOMER HAPPY WHILE OTHER PROJECTS BREATH ON MY NECK

Please, for the love of god, Stop creating markup languages, we have enought

Dear Sir, Mam, and anything outside and in-between.

If you feel like making a programming tutorial, go ahead. I encourage it. But please, please for the love of god make sure that your videos title and your video is in the same language.

Sincerely, the people that don't speak your language

// first rant

So this isn't really a "dev" rant but I'm a developer taking my first ever design class. It's a senior level, group based class where we design a mobile OS from the ground up, using any inspiration we like. I love it because I'm the developer and designer for all of the Android apps I've worked on so far. I get to practice my design skills and have a portfolio addition. Neat! It's a pretty easy class too.

But my group. Oh God my group.

I spent a week and a half designing the style guide and it was jam packed with anything we'd need. Typography, icons, rationales, you name it!

But noooo, they can't use it because it's not in sketch. As a Windows user, this is infuriating. So three weeks go by and all this work is done that's SUPER INCONSISTENT. Bad colors, elements off by 3px... I mean even the font sizes are just 1 or 2 off. Seriously, I wish I could just be frank with them and tell them to put in the 1% effort to make it right. It's really not that hard. I just don't want to screw up the peace in my group..

For the love of GOD, if you're an architect or someone in the position where you can make drastic changes to the overarching design of a software system, if you're so keen on enforcing something "cool" just because you've read about it in a blog post/seen it on a youtube video, READ ABOUT IT THOROUGHLY, as in, pick up a fucking book or do actual research. An architect overseas just informed us that a whole legacy PHP application (a fucking monolith with a dysfunctional database, yes, I think someone demented designed it) should be rewritten to a microservice architecture (without a messaging broker, just plain API interaction through HTTP) AND WE'RE KEEPING THE DATABASE WHICH BEGS TO BE PUT DOWN FOR GOOD. So now we're gonna have a clusterfuck of tons of PHP microservices (Q_Q) which interact through plain HTTP APIs (swagger's gonna be put to a test) and all have a single broken database in the center. Talk about a microlithic design. Jesus Christ.

I have this friend of mine, he was a former course mate and we can call him J.
J called a week ago saying he wanted to come stay with me for a few days and I said no problem buddy come home I'm always around.

When he came around he sounded quite different than the J I used to know. The first thing he said when I opened the door for him was "Do you know God?" and I was like "Hunh... Is that the latest javascript framework?". With my reply I was expecting laughter as a response but seems like buddy is serious.

J: Are you ashamed of him?
Me: What's up man? Jesus ain't coming anytime soon *still joking*.
J: Yes, he is. And we...
Me: Okay. Cut the crap man.

That night was quite long as we argued religious stuff front, back and center. I asked him why he became so religious but his response wasn't really clear. What I could sense from the discussion was "he's in it for the money" because while we were arguing he mentioned that God spoke to him that he would own a Mercedes Benz this year, so for that he created a WhatsApp group luring people to join to receive gospel messages and in turn ask them to sow seeds and make offerings all in the name of God. I was both pissed and perplexed by such an act of selfishness. Why don't you just get a real job, I asked J, and he said the jobs he could find doesn't match his taste :/

The religious argument continued to day 3 and I wasn't feeling it because it has affected my work as I couldn't even concentrate on most task that was supposed to be completed that week. I called him the next day and told him he shouldn't come to my place if he won't boycott the religious arguments we normally have at night because those are my working hours and the arguments wasn't helping matters. I ended the call when I got no response.

Throughout the rest of that day I felt guilt for what I had said to him, maybe there would have been a better way of putting out my reasons to him or atleast allow him arrive home before telling him what I just told him. I felt really bad that night, so the next day I tried to reach so he could come around when he's available but his line wasn't going through.

Few hours later I got a call from another friend we can call E.
--- E: Hey, have you seen J lately.
Me: Yes, he has been with me for few days now.
--- E: Is he there now.
-- Me: No he's not.
--- E: I need to let you know what's up. J isn't feeling okay. He has been with me for quite a while but recently this year he started acting strange. I think he has some mental issues.
-- Me: Mental what?
--- E: Yes. One time he pulled of his shirt running towards the street. I asked him where he was going and he said "they're calling me... they're calling me".
-- Me: That must be serious, I never paid attention I just noticed he was acting too religious.
--- E: Yes man. It took some time before I myself realised what was going on.
--- Me: So what do we do?
--- E: I've spoken to his brother and we also informed the police he was missing, I never knew he was with you.
--- Me: I'll try reaching out if I find him I'll get in touch.
--- E: Okay.

Hanging up the phone, I have never felt so broken in my entire life. All through those time I was arguing with someone in need of help.
How could I not have known. I'm stupid... I'm stupid... I'm stupid! I kept stumping my palm on my head. Shame unto me.
There were moments in our arguments with signs of clear red flags, some things he said wasn't just right but I ignored just to win the arguments. At one point he claimed he was God, at another point he said he doesn't need to work to become rich that money will visit him, he said some really bizarre things if I was observant enough I would have noticed but fuck me I didn't.

Next day, I got a call that he has been found and has been taken to a psychiatric hospital. He was suffering from bipolar disorder. When I got there, he no longer recognises me. This was the same person we both argued few nights ago.
This short experience was devastating for me. I cried like a baby right there in room filled with his family and some other friends.

No one knew why I was crying, it was just me and my guilty conscience. This would have been prevented atleast a little if I had acted differently. I can't hug him now... It's of no use. I can't tell him how great a friend he is and and how much he deserves the world now because it would be useless.

I pray day and night that he gets well soon and I could tell him how sorry I am for not realising he had a condition unknown to me.
I get to visit him twice a week and hope he gets back to the J I've always known, my buddy for life 💑

For anyone reading this:
Sometimes the people around you might look okay from the outside but I promise you there is a lot going in on the inside. Show love to whoever call you their friend and also don't take arguments personally (I failed this test), some people uses arguments to validate theirselves and some might not be as sane as you think.
#ListenMoreSayLess

I never liked Facebook. I only use it to get posts from the pages on architecture. Yeah, i wanted to be an architect 😅. But after a week of getting into coding, i flipping fell in love with this too. After, i found devrant, i thank god that it exists. Facebook is for people ranting about what their relatives are liking or hating or what, people they don't know, are doing. That's not real. What you guys, the community so wonderful rants about everyday, is the real stuff. I love devrant. I love to code.

Chalo(is about the same as saying,"I'm out"), Good Night peeps 😴.I'm high on sleep.

P.S. didn't proof read the above because high on sleep

If you are the lead developer on a big project, and you want your developers to not hate everything about this project, for the love of God please at least have a build server (it doesn't even have to run tests) and make sure your constant screwing around with Maven doesn't break the build for everyone else.

Hi everyone, I’m new here and this is also my first rant.

I’m in the job hunting boat once again and I’ve been looking at Junior front-end positions. I thought I’d rant about something that always annoys me when looking through the requirements.

Wait, so in order to land a Junior front-end job, I have to be a freshly graduated person with a Master’s degree in CS, with a minimum of 3 years working experience and all that just to come code in HTML, CSS and JS?

For the love of god, I’m one person damn it. It’s not like I’m a self-taught developer that taught myself those things and more in a shorter period of time after quitting college.

On a more serious note, I’m not by any means claiming that I know everything, but having a CS Master’s degree for these types of positions is clearly ridiculous in my opinion.
Sometimes I wonder if the people writing these things are making it up as they go or whether they’re actually serious.

Drupal makes me want to go back to the moment that life first crawled out of the ocean, and shoot that first land-dwelling organism in the head – just to make sure that the animal kingdom never evolves to the point where a crime as ghastly as Drupal can occur.

Drupal somehow manages to be both unforgivingly, bureaucratically rigid, and an anarchic, spaghetti-coded mess – at the same time. Other frameworks are toolboxes. Drupal is a series of windows at the IRS or MVA – and it *will* take you days to figure out which series of forms you have to submit, with which boxes checked, in order to accomplish your goal.

The documentation is complete and utter trash.

It models content in a way that makes all sorts of assumptions about your use case. And those assumptions don't have anything to do with *how websites are actually designed and built*. In 20 years of building websites, I've never *once* wanted to use anything resembling the bizarre data model that Drupal *forces* you to use. Nor have I ever thought "gee, I wish my platform forced me to stop writing code every 20 seconds, so I can use an atrociously designed point-and-click interface".

I ask the community how to accomplish [insert extremely fucking basic task here], and they say: "well, you just install these 17 modules, glue them together with a bunch of configuration that couples your database to your code, and then shrug at the hideously broken HTML/CSS that comes out, because we give exactly zero shits about UX! isn't it great how Drupal makes things so easy?" Like, no – literally *every other framework on the planet* allows you to accomplish the same thing with just a few lines of code.

Most of the community seems to have little or no experience with other frameworks – so they seem solipsistically unaware that these are even problems. If your platform has been stabbing you in the arm for as long as you've been building websites, then you're just gonna assume that being stabbed in the arm is part of developing websites, you know? They seem oblivious to the fact that things are *so much easier* when your platform just lets you build whatever abstractions you need, instead of forcing its own weird-ass, undocumented assumptions on you.

Uruururrrrrrrggghgh. I can't understand how anyone defends this piece of garbage. If you're a Drupal developer reading this – please, for the love of God, try learning another framework. Once you've spent a couple of weeks learning saner ways of doing things, you'll never look back. I cannot comprehend how Drupal is still a thing.

Why, for the love of God, is the only user on the computer an administrator?! WTH Windows!! Why wouldn't I want full control over my computer if I AM THE ONLY ONE USING IT 😡😠

I can fucking believe this is still the norm.

Micro selection borders for window / panel
sizing are the worst, please for the love of
god, MAKE THEM THICCer.

No need to make them visually wider,
just let me select it more easily, PLEASE.

The technical incompentency of the people I try to help with their tech problems, is utterly astounding. Especially family members. For the love of God, if somebody is offering you tech support, put in at least some minimal degree of effort!

I might be new to webdev , but wtf is wrong with imports in js ?

html seems to get the only decent way of dealing with js: all the files mentioned in subsequent <script> tags can access the functions of previous file

but when it comes to those generated html content(aka react projects) and servers, nobody seems to come to an agreement : react guys uses import while server people uses require. and both of these can't be used in the same file : import works in mjs files (or usual files too if type is defined as module) while require works in cjs file (or usual js files if type is NOT defined as module)

so i kind of like imports for its elegance and resembelence to java imports. and i might have got into some errors in unrelated areas , so my package.json has type=module . i want to use some cjs package (jsonwebtoken) and that shit for the love of god won't work with import, so i gotta use it with cjs file and then the whole project can't use that crappy cjs file.

WTAF ? has web world not got matured enough to not have this shitty import export situation?should i write caveman code and convert everything to require(..) ?

fuck me

So I started working at a large, multi billion dollar healthcare company here in the US, time for round 2,(previously I wasn't a dev or in IT at all). We have the shittiest codebase I have ever laid eyes on, and its all recent! It's like all these contractors only know the basics of programming(i'm talking intro to programming college level). You would think that they would start using test driven development by now, since every deployment they fix 1 thing and break 30 more. Then we have to wait 3 months for a new fix, and repeat the cycle, when the code is being used to process and pay healthcare claims.

Then some of my coworkers seem to have decided to treat me like I'm stupid, just because I can't understand a single fucking word what they're saying. I have hearing loss, and your mumbling and quiet tone on top of your think accent while you stop annunciated your words is quite fucking hard to understand. Now I know english isn't your first language and its difficult, I know, mine is Spanish. But for the love of god learn to speak the fuck up, and also learn to write actual SQL scripts and not be a fucking script kiddie you fucking amateur. The business is telling you your data is wrong because you're trying to find data that exists is complex and your simple select * from table where you='amateur with "10years" experience in SQL' ain't going to fucking cut it. Learn to solve problems and think analytically instead of copy fucking pasta.

!dev

For a long time, I thought that the most annoying people on the ski slope are kids overestimating their abilities on a difficult piste or speeding down the slope ignoring others. Boy was I wrong; those kids are nothing compared to all the fucking morons who think that buying the most expensive gear at a local sports store makes them better at skiing.

For the love of god, if you ever consider skiing, just buy some reasonably cheap all-mountain gear, and if you think you need something better, do proper research or find a fucking expert. I'm not talking about those "experts" they have at your local sports store, I'm talking someone who provides gear and support for actual ski clubs and teams, or at least someone working at a dedicated outdoors store who actually owns some of the gear they're selling.

"Oh, but I'm an advanced skier" - right, then why don't you tell me what turning radius, width profile, and flex would best fit you? Thought so.

Look, it's clear just by looking at your $1000 "racing" skis that they have a way shorter turning radius than any competition-level skis, and if you were really going as fast as you think you are, you'd probably spin out on every other turn with such a short radius. Your curved skiing poles aren't fooling anyone either; professionals only use those in super-g and downhill because you need to go insanely fast to notice any advantage over regular poles. And people who race that fast use way more protection than I can see on you.

Okay, it's your gear, it's your body; if you're going to buy overpriced stuff that doesn't make sense or neglect protection, that's up to you. Do you know what's not up to you? Being a fucking moron and ruining skiing for everyone else. Just because you got the most expensive "expert-level" gear, you can't just use it for powder, park, or moguls when you feel like it because you don't fucking know how to ride any of these, even if your gear claims to be good for all types of skiing. And let me tell you, that expensive gear you have is much less forgiving than some entry-level gear if you decide to try other styles of skiing.

I'm fucking tired of people like that. If I go to the resort with lots of powder, I want to ride the powder, not spend most of my time avoiding groups of morons who clearly don't have the right gear and skills for the powder. If I go to the resort with a huge park, I want to ride the park, and I can't do anything if the place is covered by dipshits speeding past the objects and braking in front of the jumps. And if I want to race down the piste, I want to race, I don't want to have a bunch of morons constantly switching side in front of me to avoid "rough" parts they can't ride on.

The moment when you can't get something working for the love of God, you call a colleague who suggest the simplest and already tried out solution, which magically now works.

Then he goes back to his place and your code breaks again.

i hate this fucking life so much why do i have to fucking exist WHAT IS THE FUCIJG POINT OF DOING SOMETHING YOU HATE WITH PASSION DOIMG AND NOT DOING WHAT U WANT TO BE DOING I DO NOT UNDERSTA D THIS LIFE

THIS existence/life is the Biggest BITCH i have ever fucking met FUCK YOU

CANNOT BE SUCCESSFUL DOING SOMETHING YOU HATE.

there was a philosopher who said "this life is pain and the only purpose of living is to reduce this pain as much as possible in order to be more happy" WHAT THE FCUK THAT IS MORE DEPRESSING THAN HAVING A FKIG CANCER

WHY DONT I JUST GET SOME INCURABLE DISEASE INSTEAD OF LIVING? OR GET HIT BY A CAR?

WhAT

I AM SO FUCKING NOT IN THE MOOD FOR ANYTHING

WHAT

as i was writing this rant by coming back from ffffffftffffffffffFFFfFFFfFFFFCKING college i went into a bus and there was a woman in front of me with an english text on the back of her shirt saying "she believed she could so she did. she designed a life she loved." WHAT

YO WHAT

THIS WAS PUT IN FRONT OF MY FACE AT RANDOM SPONTANEOUSLY

DID GOD JUST GIVE ME A FKIG SIGN OR SOMETHING?? "MY LIFE SUCKS RIGHT NOW BUT I CAN TURN IT INTO THE LIFE I LOVE" IS THAT WHAT A HIGHER SPIRITUAL BEING IS TRYING TO TELL ME RIGHT NOW???

WHAT IS THIS

HOW DO I FEEL RIGJT NOW

I DONT GET IT

MHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hh

Just out of curiosity how many different countries are on this? Could you comment below? (And please for the love of god don't ++ this, save your upvotes for someone who deserves them, like that dude with the percentage happiness table)

WHY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO RANDOM PEOPLE WRITE ME UP ON DISCORD TO HELP THEM WITH THEIR DEVELOPMENT ISSUES. I AM OPEN TO HELP BUT I AM NOT A FUCKING CODING SERVICE.

i booked my first ever car and am having so many emotions... from scary to excited to anxious and mostly feeling super dumb.

i booked a very basic hatchback with minimal features and the lowest price. i was so not sure about the various terms that guy was using: mudflags, foglamps, tilt adjustment wheel ...

like, i read about them just a minute ago on google and next moment, this guy was asking me if i should pay this much amount to get it included in my car or not. i asked him many times and for things that i felt were useful, i got them included.

biggest things about this very first purchase is

1. i have learnt car driving from training school for 30 days. i got my license via some bribe money and did not gave the real test. I am basically a guy with no experience of handling cars. i was doing okay when learning tho

2. i am a single child from a very small, conservative and super anxious family. everytime i am gonna take this car, am sure my mom is gonna start praying to god for my safety. i too have this inherited anxiety and would probably be praying to god everytime i would travel alone.. the responsibility to keep myself safe, and the car safe, while not even knowing how to release clutch properly will be super scary

3. my friends are gonna love this but i want to become a trustful driver for them first. basically among 5 of us, only 1 had his father's car on which we have taken a lot of trips. that boy has my huge respect, and he is one of the best and most reliable safe driving person i know. he even enjoy the songs and pur conversations. i want to be like him, but currently my friends don't even trust sitting on the back of my scooty and feel scared.

4. our neighbours are probably gonna dug up their graves and roll in it. they are already very jelous and angry people, i hope they don't cause any damage to my new car.

5. i am super scared about this new car... how can i protect this precious baby... how to make sure that someone is not stealing parts off this..

so.many.fucking.scary.and exciting.thoughts!!!

A long time ago you sent me an email with the subject 'I love you', I then got so excited that I forwarded the letter to all my contacts, and they forwarded it too.. I can't describe the words for the feelings I had back then for you. I felt into love with you, really. But there were always troubling moments for me.

For example when 'Code Red' showed up and found your backdoor. Man I was pissed at that time. I didn't know what to do next. But things settled, and we found each other again.

And then that other time when this girl named 'Melissa' was sending me some passwords to pr0n sites, I couldn't resist. She was really awesome, but you know, deep in my heart that was not what I wanted. I somehow managed to go back to you and say sorry. We even moved together in our first flat, and later in our own house. That was a really good time, I love to think back at those moments.

Then my friend 'Sasser' came over to us one night, do you remember how he claimed that big shelf in our living room, and overflooded it with his own stuff, so that we haven't a clue we are reading yet offshelve? Wow that was a disturbing experience.

But a really hard time has come when our dog 'Zeus' got kicked by this ugly trojan horse. I really don't want go into details how the mess looked like after we discovered him on our floor. Still, I am very sorry for him that he didn't survived it :(

Some months later this guy named 'Conficker' showed up one day. I shitted my pants when I discovered that he guessed my password on my computer and got access to all my private stuff on it. He even tried to find some network shares of us with our photos on it. God, I was happy that he didn't got access to the pics we stored there. Never thought that our homemade photos are not secure there.

We lived our lives together, we were happy until that day when you started the war. 'Stuxnet..'! you cried directly in my face, 'you are gonna blow up our centrifuges of our life', and yeah she was right. I was in a real bad mood that days back then. I even not tried to hide my anger. But really, I don't know why all this could happen. All I know is, that it started with that cool USB stick I found on the stairs of our house. After that I don't remember anything, as it is just erased from my memory.

The years were passing. And I say the truth here, we were not able to manage the mess of our relationship. But I still loved you when you opened me that you will leave. My 'Heartbleed' started immediately, you stabbed it where it causes the most pain, where I thought that my keys to your heart are secured. But no, you stabbed even harder.

Because not long after that you even encrypted our private photos on our NAS, and now I am really finished, no memory which can be refreshed with a look at our pictures, and you even want my money. I really 'WannaCry' now...

Me: Hey, I'm going to refill my water bottle. You need some as well?
Coworker: Yeah, thanks let me just drink the remaining bits
*starts chugging down 3/4 full bottle*
Me: PFFFFT, you don't need a refill please, for the love of god, staph

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP OVERUSING STYLES.XML IN ANDROID.

It is NOT A GOOD IDEA to create a new style for each and every layout and then RANDOMLY reuse those styles in RANDOM places.

Grep is working around the clock to solve this fucking hot mess you've made.

FFS

What dark, heathen God do I have to sacrifice to in order to get CUDA 9.2 installed on a machine? For the love of Christ Nvidia, just make a functional fucking installer for once in your God forsaken life, you're a Fortune 500 company. Why does everything have to be so incredibly janky with you?

Maybe I've spent too much time around marketers or maybe it's just my OCD... but for the love of God people, when referencing the app we all use and love can we not at least use the proper case?

It's devRant. Not DevRant. 😑

For the love of the God and compiler. Why do tech companies keep putting finance people in charge of operations?

Everything gets reduced to a value in a spreadsheet and ifsum<pretendprofits it’s a problem.

Company just closed $40m in funding and here I am quibbling about fixed costs with some MBA holding jackass to get $200 so I can equip my team with a licenses for a better IDE.

I’m this close to saying fuck it, buy independent licenses and then expense it back to the company. It’ll cost more than bundling but that’s why I’m not in finance.

Lua users, have you used moonscript?

It's a little language that has it's own interpreter or can be compiled down to Lua and it's absolutely lovely (currently using it with Love2d).

Of course, as with most things, what I love about it also royally pisses me off sometimes.

For starters local has to be declared for variables, unlike lua.
Otherwise the variable goes to _
Also note, that some tutorials literally tell you the opposite.

all variables are local by default
unless you don't declare them
then they go to _ (throwaway)
Some tutorials get this wrong too.

all variables have to be declared local
except tables. failure to declare a table WITHOUT a local will cause things like
table.insert to fail with "nil" values for no god damn reason.
No tutorial I could find mentioned this.

Did you know we call methods with '\'?
By the way, we call methods with '\'.
Why? Who the fuck knows.
Does make writing web routes more natural though.

Variables in the parameters of new are declared and bound for you. Would have loved to know this before hand instead of trying
to bind to them like a fucking idiot.

Fat arrows are used to pass in self for methods.
Unless you're calling a method. Then you use backwards slash. This fact is unhelpful when you're a beginner and dealing with the differences between the *other* arrow, the backslash, the fat arrow, and the fact that functions can be called with or WITHOUT parenthesis.
And on that note..

While learning all this other shit, don't forget parenthesis are optional!
Except when they're not!
..Like when you have a function call among your arguments and have to disambiguate which args belong to the outer call and to the inner call! Why not just be fucking consistent?

But on the plus size, ":" is now used for what it should have been used for in the fucking beginning: binding values to keys.
And on the downside, it's in a language thats built on top of another language that uses it for fucking *method calls*, a completely
different fucking usage.

And better still, to add to that brainfuckery thats lost in the mental translational noise like static on a fucking dialup modem, you define methods with the fat arrow. Wait, was that the single arrow or fat one? Yeah the fat one. Fuck. But not before you do THIS shit..

someShit: =>

yeah, you STILL include the god damn colon just so when you're coming from lua you can do a mental double take. "Why am I passing self twice? Oh right, because fuck me, I decided to use moonscript." It's consistent on that front but it also pisses me off.

A lot of these are actually quality of life improvements disguised as gotchas, but when you're two beers in to a 30 minute headscratcher it sure doesn't fucking feel like it.

Nevertheless, once I moved beyond the gotchas, it was like night and day. Sure moonscripts takes a giant steaming dump all over the lua output, like a schizophrenic alcoholic athena from the head of zeus, but god damn, when it works it just WORKS.

Locals that act like locals? Check.
Sane OOP? Check.
Classes, constructors, easy access to class methods, iterators? Check, check, check, check, check.

I fucking hate ceremony. Configuration over convention is for cunts. And moonscript goes a long ways toward making lua less cunty.
If you've ever felt this way while using lua, please, give moonscript a try.

You'll regret it, but in a good way!

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?

Like seriously, I don't want to see this shit. I HADN'T TOLD YOU TO SHOW ME THIS SHIT YET YOU STILL FORCE ME TO. I never set the keyboard to Danish. And in fact, IT'S NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. Then why for he love of god do you think I need to have the option to change my keyboard to Danish when I have insisted on not having this option. Is it because my locale is set to Danish? Is that it? I'll gladly change my locale then ffs, but THIS SHOULDN'T HAPPEN.

My Windows display language is English, when I installed this shit I even set the keyboard to English US, I even disabled the change keyboard shortcut because I knew that for some reason Windows would find a way to add a Danish layout. SOMEHOW.

FUCK people that romanticize all nighters. I'm here stuck at 04am waiting for my colleagues to finish because you told us 3 days prior to release the most important features. Or you don't listen to the clients or you're just plain stupid. HOPE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD that the next place won't be like this.

(Sorry for the caps, having a mental breakdown here)

For the love of god, why in the world are coworkers so prone to overflow with pointless informations? I don’t care about which db you use when I am a frontend, just tell me the f*cking endpoint to use ffs! Nor I care about the FE framework when I’m working on the be and most of all I don’t care about the reason behind a formula you use to calculate a freaking param, give me the goddamn formula or its name 🙄

Please tell me I’m not the only one getting triggered by coworkers explaining useless things, cause lately it’s so annoying

Some bitch posted a story "Fear God and obey God's commandments, because thats the only thing asked from mankind ❤️"

This fucking story fueled me

It enraged me

Blood boil

So fucking much that i had to let this shit out here

First of all, "FEAR God..."

If you fear someone who is supposed to love you, does that look like a healthy relationship to you?

"I love you so much", said the boyfriend to his girlfriend, "but if you dont love me back then I'll set you on fire so you can burn in flames and torment"

In that case do you love him because you genuinely truly love him, or do you HAVE TO love him because of fear from burning alive in fire and torment?

Think about that fucking scenario for a while. Imagine if that scenario happens in our world. The guy would be labeled as a psychopath and get arrested IMMEDIATELY.

But it's completely ok when God does THE EXACT SAME THING, just because hes God?

I'm a christian and even this fucks me up when i think about it. The more logical mind and critical thinking i acquire the more i see through the non logical bullshit.

My faith is shaky.

Im genuinely starting to think over 50% of religious people believe in God not because they genuinely believe, but because of fear of being set on fire and torment forever.

It smells to me like its a fucking MIND CONTROL FEAR DRIVEN CULT.

Getting real tired of your shit, JavaScript. I sincerely love and hate the language, its so flexible at the same time that flexibility will give you nightmares, I swear to god I'll never recommend Node.js for any big projects, right now the same flexibility is killing our project.

Oh lord, have mercy.

Gotta love people. Recently I finished a small program to check the timetable because the predecessor app died. Make a release, get the link, send the link to the FB group (I don't use FB much anymore). Some likes, some comments, some shares, some bugs, nothing awful.

IF IT'S NOT THE 20 COMMENTS GOING "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU A WEABOO TRASH?" because of __BOTH__ my GitHub pfp and FB pfp. God fucking dammit why can't you just ignore the pics and click the damn link like normal people do?? NOPE! NOT GONNA DO THAT UNTIL I SHAME THE DEV TO HELL FOR LIKING ANIME GIRLS!!

For the fucking love of God, a client is too lazy to adapt his CI Tools to support latest Ionic that he wants us to rewrite the WHOLE WEB APP in Angular1, just to support their legacy JBOSS + Maven build process. Fucking fortunately, no adjustments on the timeline.

If I only know the names of those lazy fucks, I'll put them on the Death Note.

I love this wk108 tag. Have a lot of stories related to it.
For me , my mentors are the reason i am what i am today. In this crazy selfish world where people only want to run faster than the others, having nice helping people around is great.
(Val titanLannister=xx)

(1)class 6-10th, xx is a curious, but poor boy with no desktop/mobile , but still loves cs classes due to various ,caring teachers.
(2) class 11th end,programming for the first time that year, hates programming, one day when everybody goes out for lunch, xx tears down while talking to his cs teacher "why can't i score good marks when i was the best till 10th? Is programming so tough?" . I remember him giving me a little but greatest motivational lecture followed by 40 minutes of the most basic concepts in which i might had asked him a 1000 questions. "You are my chaempion", he used to say😂 (bad accent) . But god, if he hadn't motivated me that day, i swear i would have left all this and go for business. Thank-you, lokesh sir💗💗

First year : tried to go for a competitive learning course. Mann, am not cool in that stuff. Again was about to break (i was among the top scorers in school boards and had designed many small games back then. I should have been good here too, but nah... the other guys were like bullets .)
Oh my, my deepest bow to this amazing teacher SUMEET MALIK (oh sir, you were so good) .
How this guy taught? Well, he first explained the concept. Fo those who understood, he gave them question 'A', for those who didn't, he repated . For those who understood , can do question a again, and those eho did A already gets an even advance question B. And this cycle went on until the weakest student(usually me) understood the concept.
And no, it never happened even once that class finished with even a single child not doing all questions he gave.he used to teach very less concepts each class and would go to everybody's desk to check they understood the concept, the question, its working, weather we implemented or not and weather our implementation is correct or not +our doubts. Hell , i even took doubts with him for hours after the class and he always just smiled💗(oh sir, am so sorry for being so dumb)
Real Doubt classes, doubts on whatsApp, revision assignments , tests , competitions,... damn, i haven't seen a teacher with this much dedication. At one point of time, that institution was famous for our Sumeet sir's classes 😂

Then last year, i got another mentor . Harshit bhiya. The guy is awesome, and a little extra swaggy 😂. He got a lot of chill, with his big AAD badge, a bag full of stickers and his every day association with people at udacity and google. As always i tried to overwhelm him with my ton of doubts in class, but he use to just give me a few pointers/links, after which i was like quiet for the complete session😂. He gave me a lot to think/work upon and i got a kind of career to work on.

I also think of mentioning a fucked up depressing-bot assholic friend of mine, but he don't deserve to be in this list of my best people. Just fuck you mann with a blockchain of dicks, if you are reading this.

I'm really trying my best to improve but the work I'm doing (both the code and the business theme) is so god damn boring that I feel like I'm torturing myself just trying to keep up. How am I supposed to learn and build myself when everything is so dull and gray? I can't even talk semi-passionately about the work I do, its all just picking up user stories with lengthy business specs on them updating old code or writing up some new code to fit some business / API standard I know nothing about. Occasionally I'll review other code from a developer doing the same thing and sift through trying to find some way to improve a project I don't care about. Hold down the nausea that comes from fighting off the mental fatigue as I struggle to find the words to explain how a component I made works in terms I don't understand too people that know and care much more than I do...

I'm exhausted, I'm burnt out. This isn't me, and every day I wake up and tell myself that my salary makes me happy because it gives me the ability to do the things I enjoy and live on my own and provide for loved ones, and then struggle to swallow the lump in my throat as I drive in the cold to a giant corporate office with a thousand other Me's doing the same shit but better and improving.

I honestly love what my company offers me as compensation, I'll likely not find any better. But once I have some experience under my belt and some debt paid off I have GOT to find a jobs somewhere that doesn't drain the will to live out of me

5th time I've lost my place on the feed. Also for the love of god why have they not made a face palm emoji? I need that in my life

Technically not andev rant but fuck it. This pusses me off no no end.

PC gaming as I used to love it, is ending.

E3 for pc gamers was a death march. With the exception of hitman and just cuz 4, which are both more of the same. Don't get me wrong, I'll play them both because they're good fun, but look at the PS4 lne up. Control, Anthem, Detroit and more, all NEW IPs.

Meanwhile over in PC world we get the 50th billionth Battle Royal and (surprise) another JC.

I couldn't even being myself to finish Origin (WHICH WANT EVEN A GOD DAMN ORIGIN STORY)
sigh

I'll have to get a PS4. I just LOATHE playing FPS with a controller.

Oh, yeah, and a new fallout. With one mode. Which is great because it means I get to be fragged and tea bagged by 9 year old Asian kids..