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25 phrases you wish you could say at work more often
(Warning: Contains naughty words...:-)))
1. Ahhh...I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again...
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
11. I like you. You remind me of me when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. No, my powers can only be used for good.
24. You sound reasonable... Time to up the medication.
25. Who me? I just wander from room to room17 -
I was very troubled as a teenager. I had some pretty intense family issues that led me to smoking cigarettes at 12, marijuana at 13, and drinking everyday at 15. By 17, I was using other "party favors", as we called them, on an every day basis. I left high school at the beginning of my final year, about a week before I turned 18, moved out of my family's home and started working three different part time jobs.
This was the lowest point of my life. I've never felt so much like a fuck-up and loser than back in those days. I hated myself, hated what I had become, hated everything I did. Hate hate hate. I spent a year like this, pitying myself, seeking sympathy from people when I shouldnt have been, basically seeking out someone who would tell me that I wasnt so awful.
That never happened. I only deepened the hole that I had dug for myself.
Then I got angry. I thought it wasn't fair that everyone else was enjoying life except for me. I wanted to find a passion. I wanted to find excitement again. I wanted to look forward to something else besides going back to bed.
When I turned 19, I decided that I was going to take control of my life because I was so angry with my position at the time.
I put myelf into college. I made myself stay awake and focus on schoolwork and internal improvement. I started facing my flaws and defects head-on and conquering them rather than letting them eat me from the inside out.
Now, I am only a couple months away from turning 21.
I rarely drink now. I quit smoking cigarettes after almost 9 years.
I graduate this December, and enroll into my next degree program in January.
Today, I signed employment paperwork with the company I interned at over the summer. I am now a full-time DevOps Engineer with salary, bonuses, 401k, and full health coverage.
My boyfriend and I just moved into our own house that we are renting together. No more needing shitty roommates.
I have most of the debt that my mother left in my name paid off.
A couple of years ago, I couldn't have cared less about my life or how I turned out. I truly expected to get arrested, wind up homeless, or just flat-out end up dead.
I never thought I would see myself where I am today.
I am extremely proud of myself for turning my future around. I know some of you may read this and think I'm an idiot, or that this seems trivial because I am so young. Thats okay.
I have learned that hard work always pays off, and that sometimes you must sacrifice what is expedient to gain what is meaningful.9 -
Senior development manager in my org posted a rant in slack about how all our issues with app development are from
“Constantly moving goalposts from version to version of Xcode”
It took me a few minutes to calm myself down and not reply. So I’ll vent here to myself as a form of therapy instead.
Reality Check:
- You frequently discuss the fact that you don’t like following any of apples standards or app development guidelines. Bit rich to say the goalposts are moving when you have your back to them.
- We have a custom everything (navigation stack handler, table view like control etc). There’s nothing in these that can’t be done with the native ones. All that wasted dev time is on you guys.
- Last week a guy held a session about all the memory leaks he found in these custom libraries/controls. Again, your teams don’t know the basic fundamentals of the language or programming in general really. Not sure how that’s apples fault.
- Your “great emphasis on unit testing” has gotten us 21% coverage on iOS and an Android team recently said to us “yeah looks like the tests won’t compile. Well we haven’t touched them in like a year. Just ignore them”. Stability of the app is definitely on you and the team.
- Having half the app in react-native and half in native (split between objective-c and swift) is making nobodies life easier.
- The company forces us to use a custom built CI/CD solution that regularly runs out of memory, reports false negatives and has no specific mobile features built in. Did apple force this on us too?
- Shut the fuck up5 -
Root: Fleshes out missing data in some factories. Tests affected code and finds the change breaks some specs (but shouldn’t).
Root: Reaches out to spec author.
Root: Messages thundercunt (the ticket’s code reviewer) on slack about the specs and the reaching out. No response.
Root: Works on another ticket while blocked.
Root: Logs off.
Root: Talks with spec author chick in the morning. Decide to pair on specs later.
TC: Still no slack response.
Root: Gives update in standup. Mentions factories and broken specs. Mentions pairing with spec chick.
TC: Still no slack response.
Root: Pulled off tickets in favor of prod issue. Gets ignored by everyone else diagnosing prod issue. Investigates prod issue by herself. Discovers prod issue isn’t from bad code, but bad requirements — code works as requested. Communicates this with details. Gets ignored by people still diagnosing prod issue. Tries again. Gets ignored. Gives up. Works on non-blocked tickets instead.
TC: Still no slack response.
Hours later:
TC: Comments on PR telling me I broke specs (how did I not notice?), that I need to reach out to spec chick and work with her, and that I can’t resolve the ticket until it’s fixed and passes code review.
TC: Still no slack response. (21 hours later at this point)
TC: Logs off. Still no response (25 hours at this point)
———
Ignoring the prod issue for the moment…
I broke specs. No shit.
I need to talk with spec chick. No shit.
I can’t resolve the ticket. No shit!
Bitch, I told you all of this 21 fucking hours prior, and again 3 hours prior during standup. But no, I clearly “don’t communicate” and obviously have no bloody clue what I’m doing, either, so I need everything spelled out for me.
And no, I didn’t resolve the fucking ticket. Why the fuck would I if it still has pending changes? Do you even check? Ugh!
And what the fuck with that prod issue? I’m literally giving you the answer. fucking listen! Stupid cunts.
Why is it all of the women I work with are useless or freaking awful people? Don’t get me wrong, many of the men are, too, but I swear it’s every single one of the women. (Am I awful, too?)
Just. Ugh.
I can’t wait to leave this sewer of a company.
Oddly still a good day, though. Probably because I talked to recruiters and sent out my resume again.15 -
After work I wanted to come home and work on a project. I have a few ideas for a few things I want to do, so I started a Trello board with the ideas to start mapping things out. But there were guys redoing the kitchen tile and it was noisy as fuck. So I packed up and headed to the library.
So I get all set up, and start plugging away. Currently working on a database design for a project that is a form for some user data collection for my dad, for an internal company thing. I am not contracted for this - I just know the details so I am using it as a learning exercise. Anyway...
I'm fucking about in a VM in MySQL and I feel someone behind me. So I turn and it's this girl looking over my shoulder. She asks what I am doing, and it turned into a 2 hour conversation. She is only a few years older than me (21) but she was brilliant. She (unintentionally) made me feel SO stupid with her scope of knowledge and giant brain. I learned quite a bit from talking to her and she offered to help me further, if I liked.
And she was really cute. We exchanged phone numbers...16 -
For years I've had this friend, since high school, and now we are 21. Our paths had always been different, i decided to go to a technical high school that provides more specialized education (around IT in this case) and he went to a normal high school that provides a more wide range of knowledge and barely anything related to what we both wanted to study. Different tastes for different people huh? Well sure but during that time he was being snobbish towards me because normal high schools are considered more prestigious, or rather, technical high schools are infamous for attracting lazy students or students that don't wanna move up to a university.
We fought a few times over this, sometimes even stopped talking for long periods of time but we always got back together. A few years later, after our university entry exams I joined what roughly translates to technical university, its just more focused on practical IT stuff with a lot of lab courses every semester. He joined a more academically inclined one that is half economics and half IT (applied informatics). And now he has another thing to be snobbish about since the relation between the 2 unis is similar to that between the high schools but I don't care anymore, I don't feel like im missing out on anything with my choices.
3 days ago he called me on discord to check his python script and why it wasn't working. Good Odin that piece of code was worse that anything I've seen. Littered with global variables, inconsistent function and variable names, duplicate code, unused variables. I was honestly shocked and disappointed cos he always mentions different projects he is working on, an aspiring web developer.
I took those 300 hundred lines of atrocity and turned them into 80. But more importantly it was something that worked and did the damn job well. A thing of beauty.
I don't know if he was more surprised that i got it working or that it was so different from his initial "solution".
All of a sudden he is not so dismissive of me...
Fuck you for underestimating me and every choice I made to get here.
P.S. I kept his original code, always gives me a shit eating grin.12 -
It's 21:42. I had 1 month to write a report on my internship. Day after tomorrow is submission. I'm starting now.
I deleted Facebook Inc.'s products long time ago, deleted YouTube app, removed Quora account, put filters on suggestions for Stack Exchange networks, blocked Reddit, stopped Spotify, started Trello/Wunderlist/Evernote to organise thoughts, ForestApp and StayFocusd for controlled browsing, deleted Tumblr etc. All this just to focus on the report and get it done as soon as possible.
Now I FOUND devRant! What the fuck world! Why!? I'm now ranting about issue on devRant with this rant. <- this sentence is a meta, if you didn't realise.9 -
I am 21 and I just found out that I have rheumatoid arthritis in my fingers
I think a little part, no ,a huge chunk inside of me just died.
Why the fuck does life keep piling shit...
what's the fucking point....35 -
I posted a "Periodic Table of Human Intellect" I created today, and thought it was worth sharing.
Ages:
0-14 = Dumb as fuck.
15-21 = Learning useless shit.
22-28 = Claiming to know everything. *
29-35 = Reality sets in.
36-48 = Fuuuuuuuuu...
48-59 = Deal with it and watch your step.
60+ = ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Of course, I'm still in the process of testing the predicted results of 48+ - but, I'm looking forward to no longer giving even half a shit.
(* Based on everything useless that they've learned.)16 -
Thinking about getting this as a tattoo on my wrist (without the words), what do you think? Currently 21, will this decision fuck me over somewhere?
11 -
Fuck Apple and its review system
So, this started in december. We wanted to publsih an app, after years of development.
Submit to review, and passes on the first try. Well, what do you know. We are on manual release option, so we can release together with the android counterpart. Well yes, but someone notices that the app name is not what was aggreed (App Name instead of AppName). Okay, should be easy, submit the same app, just the name changed. If it passed once, it will pass again, right? HAH
Rejected, because the description, why we use the device’s camera is too general. Well... its the purpose of the app... but whatever, i read the guidelines, okay, its actually documented with exapmles. BUT THEN WHY THE FUCK COULDNT YOU SAY THAT ON THE FIRST UPLOAD?
Whatever, fix it, new version, accepted, ready to release just in time.
It doesindeed roll out,but of course, we notice that the app has a giant issue, but only on specific phones. None of our test phones had this problem, but those who have, essentially cannot use our program. Nasty as it is, the fix is really easy, done in 5 minutes. Upload it asap, literally nothing changed from user point of view, except now it doesnt crash on said devices. Meanwhile 1 star reviews are arriving from these users - of course with all the right. Apple should allow this patch quickly, right? HAH
THE REAL BULLSHIT COMES NOW
With only config files changed, the same binary uploaded we get rejected? What now? Lets read it. “Metadata rejected, no need to upload new binary”.... oh fine only the store page is wrong? Easy. Read the message, what went wrong. “Referencing third party content is nit permitted on the app store” meaning that no android test device should be shown. Fine, your rules. They even send a picutre of the offending element. BUT ITS NOT EVEN ON THE STORE. THATS A SCREENSHOT OF THE APP. HOW IS THAT METADATA? I ask about this, and i get a reply, from either a bot, or a person who cant speak or read english, and only pasted a sample answer, repeating the previous message. WTF. Fine, i guess you are dumb, but since they stop replying to our queries, do the only sensible thing, re-record the offending tutorial video that actually contained an android device. This is about 2 weeks, after the first try to apply a simple patch to a broken app. And still, how did it pass the review 2 times?
Whatever, reupload again, play the waiting game for a week, when the promised average wait time is 2 days, they hit us with a message, that they want to know what patent we use in our apps core functionality. WTF WHY NOW? It didnt bother you for a month, let it release ti production and now you delay a simple patch for this? We send them what they know. Aaaaand they reply: sorry we need more time to review your app. FUUUUUUCKKK YOUUU. You are reviewing a PATCH with close to zero functional change!!! Then, this shit goes on, every week we ask about an ETA, always asking for patience... at the end it took another 3 weeks... so december 15 to jan 21 in total...
FOR. A. SINGLE. FUCKING. PATCH
Bottom line is what is infurating, apple cares that there is an android device in the tutorial video, but they dont care that a significant percentage of our users simply cannot use the app.
Im done7 -
I wake up, take a look at the clock: 5:21.
The alarm is at 5:40.
Thanks fucking sleep cycle for waking me up to wake up the alarm clock... FUCK!!!2 -
If you ever fuck up really bad and it makes you feel terrible, just remember, a company once flooded a whole town in molasses, killing 21 people.2
-
So this happened to me occasionally so I hope none of you cringe:
I was writing some new stacks for a new Cloud IDE that went Open Source (give them a try, they're Coder.com), and because working closely and not releasing till I please majority of people who will use it is my paradigm, I spent reasonable time to fix it. Finally everything is sunshi-
"Wait... It's already 3 in the morning? WHAT THE FUCK"
Yep I started around 21:30, finished around 03:30.
I need an alarm clock
4 -
Dogecoin hit USD $0.40 recently, which means it's time for the Crypto Rant.
TL;DR: Dogecoin is shit and is logically guaranteed to eventually fall unless it is fundamentally changed.
===========================
If you know how Crypto works under the hood, you can skip to the next section. If you don't, here's the general xyz-coin formula:
Money is sent via transactions, which are validated by *anybody*.
Since transactions are validated by anybody, the system needs to make sure you're not fucking it up on purpose.
The current idea (that most coins use today) is called proof-of-work. In short, you're given an extremely difficult task, and the general idea is you wouldn't be willing to do that work if you were just going to fuck up the system.
For validating these transactions, you are rewarded twofold:
1) You are given a fixed-size prize of the currency from the system itself. This is how new currency is introduced, or "minted" if you prefer.
2) You are given variable-size and user-determined prize called "transaction fees", but it could be more accurately called a "bribe" since it's sole purpose is to entice miners to add YOUR transaction to their block.
This system of validation and reward is called mining.
===========================
This smaller section compares the design o f BTC to Dogecoin - which will lead to my final argument
In BTC, the time between blocks (chunks of data which record transactions and are added to the chain, hence blockchain) is ten minutes. Every ten minutes, BTC transactions are validated and new Bitcoins are born.
In Dogecoin, the time between blocks is only one minute. In Theory, this means that mining Dogecoin is about ten times easier, because the system expects you to be able to solve the proof of work in an average of one minute.
The huge difference between BTC and Doge is the block reward (Fixed amount; new coins minted). The block reward for BTC is somewhat complicated compared to Doge: It started as 50 BTC per block and every 4 years it is halved ("the great halving"). Right now it's 6.25 BTC per block. Soon, the block reward will be almost nothing until BTC hits it's max of 21 million bitcoins "minted".
Dogecoin reward is 10,000 coins per block. And it will be that way for the end of time - no maximum, no great halving. And remember, for every 1 BTC block mined, 10 Doge blocks are mined.
===========================
Bitcoin and Dogecoin are now the two most popular coins in pop culture. What makes me angry is the widespread misunderstanding of the differences between the two. It is likely that most investors buy Dogecoin thinking they're getting in "early" because it's so cheap. They think it's cheap because it isn't as popular as Bitcoin yet. They're wrong. It's cheap because of what's outlined in section two of this rant.
Dogecoin is actually not very far off Bitcoin. Do the math: there's a bit over 100 billion Dogecoin in circulation (130b). There's about 20 million BTC. Calculate their total CURRENT values:
130b * $0.40 = 52b
20m * $60k = 1.2t
...and Doge is rising much, much faster than BTC because of the aforementioned lack of understanding.
The most common thing I hear about Doge is that "nobody expects it to reach Bitcoin levels" (referring to being worth 60k a fucking coin). They don't realize that if Doge gets to be worth just $10 a coin, it will not just reach Bitcoin levels but overtake Bitcoin in value ($1.3T).
===========================
It's worth highlighting that Dogecoin is literally designed to fail. Since it lacks a cap on new coins being introduced, it's just simple math that no matter how much Doge rises, it will eventually be worthless. And it won't take centuries, remember that 100k new Doge are mined EVERY TEN MINUTES. 1,440 minutes in a day * 10K per minute is 14.4 million new coins per day. That's damn near every Bitcoin to ever exist mined every day in Dogecoin
10 -
using 21 js files (most are jquery based) and some 17 or so css files for a simple static one pager,
the only dynamic part is a filtered list of images,
big fuck you to whoever wrote this shit -
!dev && rant
Temperature causing temper!!!
Summer 2009...
Me: Dad, can me and sis go swim in the pool?
Dad: No son, you can only swim if it's 25°C or higher.
Which in practice meant that we could only swim a few days each summer. Average in Belgium used to be about 21°C.
Spring 2019, my younger siblings...
Little sis: Mom, can we go swim in the pool?
Mom: Lol sure, it's only April but it's already way hot enough.. and during summer it'll be too hot to do the work on setting up the pool anyway.
Winter 2029, in Antarctica...
Me, to my children: During my old days my children, we had this thing called snow!! And we lived in the wasteland that used to be the glorious Europe, back when it was still habitable.. you should've seen it, now it's a desert, but back then it was awesome!
My children: Mum!! He's acting senile again, and talking about things that don't exist!!!
Coming to the crux of the problem right now, fuck me.. I'm tired as fuck but can't sleep because already in the fucking spring, my house is too fucking hot to be able to sleep without sweating like a pig!!!
AaaaaAAAAA 😣5 -
Instead of a rant I have a story for you.
I was browsing my emails and eminently pissed off, as I usually am. Came across an email from
michael@michaelnthiessen.com
and thought "fuck this guy and his adverspam!"
Because whats more rational than hating someone you don't know, over something they didn't do, because of something completely unrelated to them of which they have no control?
Totally human.
The email looked like this
"I have some fantastic news for you:
Clean Components will be released again on April 21!
"
With a "🎉" emoji. I'm in a more vile mood than usual today.
It goes on.
"Even better, I'm significantly dropping the price, so you'll definitely want to pick it up!"
How presumptuous.
I fire off a quick reply.
"What a bunch of bullshit.
I decide to change careers and a month later, just like in 2008, this fucking pandemic happens and the economy and hiring
Starts collapsing.
And here I am getting sent this bullshit.
"
I had to rewrite and shitcan the response a few times for civility. I guess this is me being polite, but I was suddenly compelled to vent to this total stranger over what in all likelihood was an *automated* email.
Six and a half hours later I got a reply.
"Hey James, I'm sorry this pandemic has been rough on you.
I hope things turn around for you soon.
If it would help, I'd give you the course for free, but if you've switched careers I'm not sure it's relevant any more?
Michael
"
My god. A lone voice of calm in a wasteland of 24/7 bad and worsening news. Sometimes simplicity is the soul of class.
Hes got it in spades.
And here I was thinking "today might be the day. Thank god for giant bottles of hydrocodone."
It's not true that all gingers are soulless demons.
Some of them are angels in problem glasses.
No but seriously, hes a cool guy in my book.
Check out his site if you're interested in Vue at
michaelnthiessen.com7 -
Meeting Stats [Total invites vs. Attended]
Previous week:
Total: 37
Attended: 21
Current week: [as of Wednesday noon]
Total: 41
Attended: 22
Next week: [as of Wednesday current week]
Total: 36
Will attend: FUCK OFF15 -
I've taken more work than I should... now I'm sitting here on a status call. And it is 21:00 Saturday. And I started at 08:00. And I work at least 10 hours tomorrow. And this lasts for couple of months. And fuck my fucking logic and why the fuck did I allow myself this hell! Fuck!2
-
Fuck you Mozilla. You have killed the major unique selling point of FF, that being the add-ons, and replaced them with web extensions that will never even come close. Not enough with that, now you're killing the add-on servers to also kick FF forks into their balls. You stupid bunch of wankers have a history of pretending to know better what your users want, and your plummeting market share shows how much you suck at it.
https://blog.mozilla.org/addons/...19 -
Anyone else fucking pissed off by all the shit saying "Learn to Code in 21 Days".
You don't see anyone trying to become a doctor in 21 days so why the fuck do people think our work is so easy that any fucking asshole can do it in 21 days.
Fuck this whole fucking stupid world...23 -
Fucking exam on Electronic Building Blocks... (aka Arduino). Program this thing ON GODFORGOTTEN PAPER! And then these retards put in that assignment line: max 5 lines of code, for a function that does nothing more than divide two shit eating numbers! And half of my apparently vegetative class fails this! When you were allowed to use your book and notes!
Oh and also, here's a seemingly pissed over image of an arduino with some peripherals, draw the wires. Draw! How the fuck do I keep 21 cocksuffocating wires on a page without overlaps or unclarity? -
Took a week of PTO for a vacation because I'm pretty close to spent these days. Planning on getting in some kayaking and fishing I think, maybe some noodling on the guitar or read some Tolkien, as I really need to take a break from the computer and screens in general, and living in the latest COVID epicenter in the US I can do fuck all else.
I'm /really/ trying to force myself to ignore slack and work emails. I did all I could to leave my team prepared, and given that most are juniors who need A LOT of supervision since working remote, I fully anticipate having to fix everything and get shit back on track when I return next week. Telling myself it's inevitable so worrying about it now won't be any better than waiting till next week. LEARN TO READ CODE AND COMMIT HISTORY FUCKERS!
I know I have a full workload slated for the rest of the year and into Q1 21, so I know letting shit go for a little while is the best thing I can do for myself, and so that my family doesn't have to deal with me being a bastard all the damn time.3 -
Haha, fuck you kotlin! and your null safety!
I was able to break it 😆
After reading about its syntax for over 2 weeks , i finally sat down to write a simple parsing app completely in kotlin. And now i don't know how, but i am able to store a null in a "val x:String" (i.e a non null variable)
I am not going to claim it as some miracle or discovery as some other ranters, it might be a mistake. I am just a 21 yo Android/java dev trying to re write my old ,tested java code to kotlin by myself, without any auto convert, in the middle of night when i am 99% asleep by brain.
I will try to raise an SO question with details, but all i used was a simple volley request returning heterogeneous data, a gson convertor and a single activity,
Right now i am buzzing off to my sleep11 -
After responding to that rant asking our ages I realised how much fucking time I have wasted. I'm not afraid of aging, but man, if I had started learning programming two or even one year ago I'd know so much more right now. But fuck, I've been procrastinating life for 21 years. 21 FUCKING YEARS!5
-
#storytime
Soon I'll start moving to a new place on the 16th and I wanted to change my address at the Internet provider (T).
go to provider website (T) reading that I need to call them...
CALL (T): .... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 30 minutes later:
Operator: Hi moving, yes.. When? we send you an email with details to send Mechanic.
Next day: waking up. clicking mail on my phone in bed half sleepy. select 15th. next. next. next. accept. done.
Me happy :) .... One hour later realizing I said 15th.. and it should be 25... FUCK!!! Me Mad! Knowing what's going to happen...
Click link in mail to change date. You need to call (E).
CALL (E) : ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 1 hour later.... Give up..
CALL (E)(2): ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 1.2 hour later.... Give up..
Next day CALL (E)(3): ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 45 minutes later....
Operator: Hi, yes we can move to date 21. you need to call (R) to change fiber mechanic I'll patch you trough
CALL (T) : ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 30 minutes later....
Operator: You need to call (K) Here is the number 123456789..
CALL (K): ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 20 minutes later
Operator: This department (R) can not be reached by phone we will call you back.
Next day:
Incoming call from (K). Because you are moving to a new house you do not need (R). have a nice day.
Have a nice day to you too calm and friendly.
hopefully I won't be without internet for a couple of days...1 -
I want to hack central bank website.so I asked my teacher and he told me , go and learn q basic . then I bought programming with qbasic in 21 days....
Fuck that motherfucker teacher -
During a stand up meeting, boss turns up to us and says: "Who can stay later today?" Many hands rise. Turns up to new dude, who isn't performing that well: "that performance report automation, it is due tomorrow now. Fuck it. Get it done." Left at 21:30 from the office with an MVP but I usually arrive at 7:00 so I was fucking exhausted. Now, my question is: who am I supposed to be pissed off? The boss who went apeshit on the new dude or the new dude that isn't getting shit done?4
-
Fuck ubuntu 18.04 with their snap format. Yes it's good for things that ubuntu users need, like libreoffice or Chrome.
But GOD SAKE WHY DOCKER ?
21 days ago it was not even possible to modify daemon.json reliably xD4 -
Heres a truly vitrolic and unnecessary rant:
Package control for sublime is all well and good
through the command palette, but it's just
fucking retarded. How about you point me to a
FUCKING COMMAND to actually INSTALL A
MOTHERFUCKING PACKAGE YOU
FINGERPAINTING FUCKWITS?
Under babel plugin while browsing packages
on packagecontrol.io:
"Find it as Babel through Package Control."
FUCKING HOW?
What command?
What fucking command? How do I "Find" it?
The browse command just opens my
motherfucking browser. How do I fucking install
your fucking packages you assholes?
"Use autocomplete" except your god damn
autocomplete doesn't list "install package"
for some god damn reason because everything
web is a broken pile of utter shit, built
on a more shit, like a leaning garbage tower
of bullshit waiting for the smallest mistake to
take down the entire house of cards like
someone removing a leftpad on npm.
Maybe specify I have to enter
"install package" and THEN hit enter, and THEN
enter the GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCKING package name
on a separate god damn line for
some fucky reason.
Next time don't make a tool that breaks
motherfucking conventions. It's bad enough
every fucking look-at-me-im-smart cunt of a
dev and their dog has to invent a CLI and
then go and invent a new domain specific
language too motherfuckers.
Next tool that breaks convention around me is
gonna see the dev lit on fire.
fucking uppity cunts.
"Say thanks" the site say. I am not
feeling fucking thankful at the moment.
The least you can do if you're going to
contribute to open source, is not make things
actively fucking worse, least of all in the
fucking *documentation*.
FUCK count for this rant: 19 / 50,
RANK: RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC
0-5: GENTLE AS A LAMB
6-10: ANGRY GOAT
11-15: NUN WITH PMS
16-20: RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC
21-25: CANTANKEROUS VIETNAM VET
26-30: BREAKING SHIT
31-35: DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE
36-40: BIPOLAR EPISODE
41-45: DESPAIR EVENT HORIZON
46-50: BROKEN CAPSLOCK
50+ : MIDLIFE CRISIS / MASTER GRAND WIZARD
OF RANTS AND ANGRY-WORD MASTURBATION.
If you prefer to cheat, you may also include any
cursewords in general, but be warned, you'll
never know the sweet taste of victory when you
achieve the rank of master grand wizard.
Like when you were a kid, and you discovered
gameshark, and all your hopes of finishing that
one game became but a ruthlessly hollowed out
husk, somewhere where could-have-been childhood
memories and nostalgia go to die like the
graveyard of dreams
(the same place officer workers souls go).4 -
So a few months ago a broke screen of my laptop, currently I quite broke so I can't change screen and for some time I was using TV as screen, but ofc. Windows have to crash or do similar shit and know it doesn't send signal via HDMI, probably it's showing some info, but signal is only send when it boots windows or something.
So my girlfriend give me her old laptop (4gb RAM and I3 processor, bit touchscreen :/) and windows aren't updated for quite a long (it was still windows 8) and I tried to update it. Ofc it has to be problem, DISM doesn't work, downloading iso doesn't work, fml. I guessed I have to live with that, but later disc usage starts to be around 100% and freeze for few minutes (shitty Win2k PC at uni was more responding). Then I try to refresh windows, DISM starts working, updates semi-working. I left with 21 updates with error and there starts conversation:
Me: install 21 updates
Win: kk. Or actually no
Me: please
Win: the best what I could do is 8.
Me: it's something
Win: actually fuck it, only 4
Me: I'm done *typing Manjaro xfce*
So now I have dual boot with Manjaro which use 40% ram with Firefox open, when windows has 30% alone. I can't play anyway and DF is on Linux so fuck Windows.
I am noob when it comes to Linux and everything actually, but it makes me want to learn and improve.16
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