There is always that little typo you notice only when it's too late to modify you're rant.

Fucking fuck fuckity keyboard autocorrect on windows (and on osx): NO FUCKING THANK YOU, FUCK OFF, STOP FUCKING AROUND WHILE I WRITE

I turned off fucking autocorrection on windows 10, I write an email in french, and every word that has a similar spelling in english gets autocorrected FUCK YOU OUTLOOK, FUCKING RESPECT MY FUCKING SETTINGS, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF CODED SHIT PILE OF SHITWARE

So much time lost correcting and recorrecting.

Oh, also: a phone is a fucking phone, a computer is a fucking computer, not the same device, not the same behaviours, fucking get that you fucking companies

Fuck why is there no dedicated button to turn autocorrect on and off, that would be so useful, because I actually typo a lot on mobile, but the learning of it is trash, so for basic devrant stuff it's fine, but anywhere else it doesnt know what to do

Fuck you, autocorrect.

If I type the same thing, the exact god damn same cunting thing, multiple times will you just fucking accept that I am actually intending to write that word and move on?!

You fucking cunt!

Guess it's time to ditch ProtonMail as well.

Translation: "[Update Google play services.] ProtonMail won't work until you have updated Google Play Services."

I know I'm almost an anti-Google nazi at this point, but ProtonMail was one of the only remaining apps not needing Google to work, and now it's a "sin equa non" condition. I'm very disappointed. Guess I'll have to switch this address to Tutanota or host my own email server.

Edit: why the fuck would my autocorrect capitalize nazi?

Samsung Keyboard is utter shit.
GBoard (Google Keyboard) is like a ray of sunshine in comparison.

The Samsung keyboard actually changes whole words to completely different words. It even replaces words with misspellings. No, these were not words I had misspelled before. Tried to turn off autocorrect and keep suggestions. They are the SAME setting. Like if you are going to make a shitty ass version of the GBoard, at least keep the same ability to tweak settings.

In contrast I installed GBoard and was able to disable JUST autocorrect and keep suggestions.

Just like most Samsung apps Samsung Keyboard is utter shit.

FUCK YOU SAMSUNG!

Guess what i just did. I shorted the entire fucking building. And all I was gonna do was install a couple of lamps. Fuuck. I'm never ever again going to do anything even remotely electrical at work without consulting a technician first ever again. Fuck fuck fuck. I'm so fucking unlucky.

And this fuxking keyboard that fuxking doesn't autocorrect fuxk. Fuxk. I seriously can't write fuck without really thinking about where I put my fingers. Fuxm.

!dev

I used to like apples Autocorrect. I use the english and german keyboard.
but since my main language is english and I only write german when chatting with my family, sometimes I'm too lazy to switch keyboards.
Now the german and english corrections kinda got messed up.
it started to correct my intentions like:
Such - Sich
Nein - Nine
Dich - Dick
Gut - But
Fuck - Duck (don't know where that came from)
...

which can lead to unfortunate sentences.
So I decided to disable auto correct about a week ago.

What I realized is.. it's fucking impossible to type precise on a fucking smartphone without it.
even this rant took me about 10min to write..

Quack quack, I'm a duck.
And it makes me wanna quack.

Btw why did autocorrect correct "duck" to "fuck" twice?