Let’s get together and buy back github, I have $2.5 what do you have?

Job Ad says "Web Developer". Requested skills were HTML, CSS, PHP & XML. Go to interview & get grilled about my design skills. Web Developer != Web Designer people! Get it together! 🙄🙄🙄

We have new scrum master. First meeting together.

Project owner:
- I would give them time to wensday (2 days away) days to do migration
Manager:
- delivery is in Tuesday. can we have two teams to work on it so it will be done twice as fast?
Scrum Master:
- do you really think that if you get 9 women pregnant they would deliver you baby in a month?

DHL, GET YOUR FUCKING SHIT TOGETHER.

I CALLED YOU TWICE TO MAKE SURE THAT MY DELIVERY WOULD ARRIVE TOMORROW. YOU CONFIRMED TWICE THAT MY PACKAGE WOULD BE DELIVERED TOMORROW BETWEEN 8am and 9pm.

THERE WAS A FUCKING SIGNATURE REQUIRED FOR SUCCESSFUL DELIVERY.

THEN WHAT IN THE FLYING FUCK IS THIS ‘delivered at your neighbors {number}’ NOTE DOING AT MY FUCKING DOOR?!

GO DROWN IN A FUCKING SEA OF INFECTED CUM.

FUCK YOU, I NEVER EVEN AUTHORIZED THIS.

Reinstalled my dedicated server and realized (afterwards) that I just erased my entire openvpn/mysql auth setup and I don't have an entirely working copy.

FUCK.

Okay, nothing I can do about that afterwards, setup csf right away, monitored the auth log for a minute and noticed one ip which had just connected and found it weird somehow. Blocked the ip.

Then, one second later, as my console stopped responding and that ip address suddenly looked veeeery familiar, I realized I just blocked myself. (the blocks persist across reboots)

😐

Went to the control panel and hit the reinstall button. Confirmed, and two seconds later I realized I could just have connected to any of my own fucking vpn services to unblock myself.

What in the living fuck is wrong with me @_@

I can't believe that something I threw together in an afternoon to make my work flow better turned into something people actually use! People are opening issues and suggesting things. Never thought it would get over 2.5k downloads! 😮

Dev: I’m taking a vacation next week

Manager: Good you need a break! I’ve put together a list of tickets for you to action during vacation since you’ll mostly be free during that time

Dev: Do you know what vacation means?

Manager: Well I work during *my* vacation

Dev: You write non-answers to emails and interrupt devs with status questions that are easily answered by a single glance at the kanban board. Also, you’ve just assigned a month’s worth of storyboard points to me on my week long vacation. We’d get more work done if you didn’t “work” during your vacation.

Manager: Well it all needs to get done! It’s the only way we can catch up and get ahead of schedule.

Dev: Why do you exist again?

Our coffee machine at work is broken. We're a fucking high tech company delivering unique solutions with millions of requests every second of the day to over 60 countries, how can we not have a working fucking COFFEE MACHINE in the kitchen? How are we suppose to keep the lights on if we can't get our daily coffee god damnit?! It's been broken for over a week.

Sure, I'll just walk to the floor upstairs to get coffee LIKE THEY DID IN THE EIGHTEEN HUNDREDS. Maybe I should just come in to work on a horse with armor stabbing some funny looking fucker because it seems like we're living in the GOD DAMN EIGHTEEN HUNDREDS and that was a totally legit action back then. Get your shit together, call the company providing the coffee machine service and just have them fix it. How hard can it be??

I started my first job with no degree and no real experience. It was a sink or swim kind of place. Six months in, I was working on a bunch of projects independently, then they hired a new junior developer, and told me it was my job to mentor him.

a lot of the time I knew what to do to get the job done, but I didn't know why. He always asked why... Learning something is one thing, teaching it is another. This guy was the best co-worker I've ever had because he pushed me to be much better while we learned together.

How can they think that anybody falls for those ads?

Honestly. = != ==
Also: German and English mixed? Choose one, best stick to English if you want to look serious about looking for developers.
What does Job == interested even mean? The job is interested in the candidate?

I can type the password for the SSH key to my servers while drunk.
Muggles can't type the fucking email address while sober.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!!! Is it really that fucking hard?!!! Pieces of shit!!

Do you build some eastereggs into your homepages / apps?

When you press F + U + C + K together on my newest creation you get something like this :-D

"Stop working from home. Fuck this. We do enough and don't get paid what we should. It is you and me for two campuses and you are far more knowledgeable and qualified than what they offered you at the beginning. I get that the benefits are killer but don't burn yourself out. I am not expecting you to work from home. Will not ask of it unless really is required and would much rather we have a few beers instead of getting together to finish bullshit deadlines...for 2 devs"

My current lead developer. He turned into my work best friend and he is really into the whole concept of "fuck it we ain't getting paid enough"

Dis b ma dude.

For fucks sake, Facebook....
Why the fuck are you showing me an add for MY FUCKING PAGE!!! I paid for that shitty add and you show it to me?!? Why the fuck would you do that?!?
You know that I'm the fucking admin and I ALREADY LIKED THE PAGE!!!
Get your fucking shit together mate! 😡

Just joined a new job. Got into a team of 10+ devs working on one code base. Its spread across many cities and few devs sit together.

They've been versioning their code by mailing each other .zip files of the entire 400MB code base at the end of each day.

Me: Can we have git or svn please?
Manager: SVN? Don't worry about that now, we'll get SVN when the project is finished.

Managed to get an SVN repo running after 2 weeks. FML.

I would absolutely love it if people would write their own stupid code instead of blindly mixing everyone else's mental diarrhea together and pouring the resulting mess into their bloody stupid IDE. At least then I could insult them properly. As it is, they're outsourcing their fucking stupidity to the lowest fucking bidder and then bragging about how quickly they get everything done. And management eats it up! No wonder everything is a slow, tangled, unmaintanable mess.

I can't fix much of anything because almost none of it is in my control. It's all autogenerated bullshit glued together with laziness and poor taste. "But Root, why is fixing this taking so long?" Gee, I wonder why. Maybe if someone had built it somewhere in realm of correctly the first time, it wouldn't have all fallen apart when someone looked at it the wrong way!

Seriously, there's no way this pile of stale fertilizer could have passed QA.

rant;

WHY DO PEOPLE DELETE STACKOVERFLOW QUESTIONS WHERE I AWNSERED THEM IN DETAIL WHAT TO DO AND WHY IT BEHAVES IN THE WAY IT DOES. THIS SHIT JUST WASTED MY TIME AND DOES NOT BENEFIT ANY USER WITH A SIMILAR ISSUE. THESE FUCKERS NEED TO GET THEIR EGOMANIAC SHIT TOGETHER IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT THEM AND STACKOVERFLOW IS NOT A FUCKING FREE OUTSOURCING COMPANY.

tl;dr don't awnser people on stackoverflow if they don't mark their past questions as awnered. It is a waste of time.

MOTHERFUCKING MICROSOFT!!! JUST SEND ME THIS FUCKING EMAIL !!!! WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!? EVERY FUCKING TIME IT TAKES TOOOOOOO MUUUUUCH TIME TO RECEIVE ANY FUCKING CONFIRMATION EMAIL!!! ITS FUCKING 2017 ALREADY GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER YOU PIECE OF SHIT

Being a developer is it still possible to be a gamer?

I feel like with all the new technologies coming in, I am always occupied with learning something and I don't get the time to game at all.

I am coming to a realisation that everything together is not possible anymore :(

Hey Root. Here’s a new ticket for you. It involves lots of things you’ve never seen before, and the only person you can ask is out this week.

Hey Root. Why haven’t you been making good progress every day? Why didn’t you reach out to the guy on FTO? Clearly you can’t communicate. Give me detailed status updates twice a day at specific times, covering <exhaustive list of topics> so I know you’re working. What do you mean “no”!?

Hey Root. Stop working on that ticket, and work on this other ticket. It’s the same thing, but different. High-priority!

Hey Root. You asking questions about that ticket pissed off a legendary golden boy principal dev, and he said it’s a bad idea and that we should have assigned it to a different team, too — you know, the team who usually works on these areas. But we might still have you do it. Please work on the previous ticket that’s in the exact same area until we decide.

Hey Root. Why haven’t you gotten anything done?

Start-up: hires 3 junior devs to save money.

Start-up: expects things to get done faster-- BUT-- Start-up keeps adding things to the TO-DO list and backlog-- i.e. it's all relative!!

Start-up: gets angry at 3 junior devs why they can't deliver when they keep adding tasks and ask we fall behind.

Dev team: "Seriously? You hire more devs to finish tasks faster, but you keep adding more than are being finiahed-- obviously it's gonna take longer now regardless"

Git --pull life together

Chrome WTF?!? Get your shit together!

Once had a classmate schedule a meeting with me to "go over something" for a project we had together. (Not a CS class, but it was a general education class.)

I agree, make time on my schedule for this meeting.

I get there and they say "Yo I just wanted to let you use my flash drive so you could make some changes to the PowerPoint I started last night. Just get it back to me a few days before the project is due and we'll look over it together."

You asshole. Go fuck yourself.

This lesson taught me to ask what meetings are about in order to prevent this bullshit

That's it, I'm moving to Sweden.

If a CPU were an employee...

CPU: Hey boss, I'm seeing you are giving me a lot of mathematical tasks that would really profit from splitting into parallel calculations. GPU's are great for that, we should get one.

Boss: But you can still do them, right? If you can do it, I'm pretty sure you can do it at GPU speeds. We gotta save up so I can buy another car!

----------------------

Boss: Why is this taking so long?

CPU: I'm overloaded with work, so I'm overheating. Maybe you could buy a GPU to help me out, or at least a fan...

Boss: You're overheating? Your personal problems should not affect your professional life. Learn to get your shit together or we will hire someone who will

CPU: *melts*

I can't name one specific time that was the best memory per say. My team is super close - we get lunch almost every day, have (inappropriate) inside jokes and just act dumb together. Not one person on my team who doesn't fit in. Even our boss is cool. :) #LoveMyTeam

FUCKING FRONTEND DEVELOPING PIECE OF SHIT.

Why the fuck does justify-content: center behaves differently on chrome, Firefox and IE?

JESUS FUCKING CHRISTMAS GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER

When I was a kid, my dad was always busy. He is an orphan with next to inheritance and had to work really hard to send me to school. I don’t remember playing with him ever.

He is about to retire in a few years, so he gets some free time now, but now, I’m struggling too hard and don’t have time for anything random at all. The generation gap makes it impossible to share anything at all.

We don’t have any common interests, and don’t get to do stuff together.

Today, we built a mechanical keyboard together. 1 hour. I absolutely loved it.

FUCK CORPORATE EMAIL SPAM

AND I DON'T MEAN SOME SOME EXTERNAL SCAM/AD/PISHING EMAILS

I MEAN THE SHIT MY OWN COMPANY SENDS TO ME

LIKE:

"tHE WelLbeIng Course : SiGN In now!!!!!"

"#MoRnIngcOfFEE witH SOME cORporatE TWAt"

"Give togetHER : LETs circLE JerK OurSeLveS in SOMe fuCKiNg oNLiNe mEetInG !!!!!!!"

I DON'T FUCKING CARE !

I GET DOZENS (IF NOT FUCKING HUNDREDS) OF SUCH SHIT EMAILS EVERY DAY.

IF I GO ON VACATION, I HAVE TO SPEND HOURS TO SORT SHIT OUT

I HAVE HAD TO SET UP ELABORATE OUTLOOK RULES TO GET IT SORTED AUTOMATICALLY INTO SOME MANAGEABLE FOLDERS (AND SPEND SOME OF MY LIMITED TIME, HERE ON EARTH, TO DO SO)

AND GUESS WHAT

THANKS TO THOSE STUPID RULES I MISSED, ONE FUCKING IMPORTANT EMAIL

CAN YOU JUST STOP FUCKING SPAMMING ME ?!!!

FOR CHRIST SAKE AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS STUPID CORPORATE BULLSHIT

STOP SENDING IT TO ME

Fucking kill me right now please. How the FUCK am I supposed to get any shit done when I'm learning something and the fucking DOCUMENTATION has been UNAVAILABLE for the past THREE MOTHERFUCKING DAYS.

GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER MICROSOFT.

Fucking idiots.

It wouldn't be so fucking bad if things like this didn't happen all the time.

But when EVERYTHING is FUCKED - ALL THE TIME, it kinda makes a person lose all hope in humanity and technology.

A typical motherfucking day for me:

Wake up
Go to work
Come home
Eat dinner (if I remember)
Attempt to code shit for 1 - 3 hours before I have to sleep
CAN'T FUCKING CODE SHIT BECAUSE:
1. Internet disconnects every 5 fucking minutes
2. DOCUMENTATION SITES ARE FUCKING DOWN
3. Shit Windows is UPDATING
4. a previous windows UPDATE has royally motherFUCKED my PC
5. etc

FUCK

Fuck today.

Today I was supposed to go into work and set up a dozen or so units for beta testing (its been a year and a half coming)..

Got up nice and early to get a head start on things. Stubbed (and broke) my motherfucking toe, then spilled my cereal milk on my laptop.. subsequently spend the following 2 hours tearing down and cleaning my poor little lappy. Get her all put back together, starting to feel a little better about the day. Push the power button, and fucking nothing but a tiny little fan noise for half a damn second.

With this luck I don't even want to move, lest a magic falling anvil decides to adorn my head..

I went for an interview for a position stated as "web developer" . They questioned me on Pen testing and writing scripts for detecting attacks. This is how the interview went. Fucking get your shit together .Fucking waste of time

FUCK YOU TICKETMASTER AND YOUR SHITTY WEBSITE.

Why can't you process my request during an EXPECTED WINDOW OF HIGH TRAFFIC?!

DO YOU EVEN LOAD BALANCE, BRO?!

I missed my chance to buy some Hans Zimmer tickets for the ONLY time I've ever seen him listed in my city. I had the tickets in my cart, but it errored out upon checking out. Then, every other attempt to search for tickets resulted in an error.

GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!!!

One day, Hans... One day I will see you. 😢

I'm been hacking together software for the last year or so now and I've never considered myself to be a good programmer.

Today however I had to implement an A* search from scratch and with only the knowledge of how the algorithm should function I put together some code that looked correct.

I went to run my code expecting one of the typical "Index out of bound", "null reference", "something has not be initialised" BUT I was shocked to find that the code worked flawlessly.

I went into a weird state of shock and disbelief. I'm not naturally gifted at this stuff, so it was just really hard for me to accept that I might actually be getting better to the point where I might be able to say "I am a programmer"

Does anyone else get bad imposter syndrome?

Hello devRanters! A little while ago some ranters and I who are all passionate about FOSS/Linux decided to get together in a chatroom. Slowly more people are coming in but just wanted to post this in case any foss/linux liking people would like to join! I am not even sure if this is allowed on devRant (posting something like this) so if not, my apologies and I will remove the rant!

Keep in mind that the chat exists for people who are very keen on FOSS/Linux/security/privacy so no offense but it probably isn't the best place for people who don't like/care about that stuff :).

seriously, I know git is not the most user friendly, but really....

I attend to a course in my high school, like, it offers you a technical and a high school diploma in the end of tree years of course, anyway

last year I had this project. I had 4 other people working with me. I suggested we use git as there would be many people working in the project and git would help us manage all the files and get everything together in the end.

they didn't even bother to try learning it, I was like "fuck it, let's go without it", no one did anything till the last 2 weeks. then I was all stressed out getting the code together, manually, and the deadline was close.

In the end I wasn't able to put the chat this guy have made, he got mad and I was like "motherfucker, it would be one damn command `git merge` and your fucking chat would be in the final project"

oh it was great to get this out 😎😀
don't even know if I'm making sense xD

Coming back to the office after being down with sickness for 3 days. Apparently the two other People on the project doesn't talk together, only when im the middle man making sure they talk, and we got a big test on Monday.....

Hello people. A few people of the Dutch section of devRant have been talking about a possible meetup for a while now and a day or so ago we thought fuck it, let's not keep postponing but just get this fucker running.

So the idea is to (still quite short term) get together in The Hague the second weekend from now (so around the 21st).

Saturday or Sunday and meetup place have yet to be decided.

Let's discuss in the comments!

After a company Christmas dinner, some employees went to a bar together. One colleague was so drunk that he felt from his chair. We lifted him back up again, but left him under the table after the third time.
However, he came back on his own, having his dong hanging out, and left a puddle below the table.
So we walked the colleague through the entire town to get him back to the hotel.
When we arrived there, the guy mopping the hotel lobby was able to tell us his room number within a second after noticing us.

The wife and I decided (together) to change our daily habits and get up early again (together).

It's 6am now, I was rudely awakened by overtly excited dolphin noises (the alarm I set), crawled out of bed towards my coffee machine (for an intravenous pick-me-up) and now sit here, in the kitchen, half an hour later and alone, all while she's sleeping like a beautiful perfect little angel.

I am contemplating whether or not I should powerbomb back into bed to wake her up or just brush my teeth and leave for work, letting her sleep.

Which would be worse, because she'd sleep till, like, 10am, be late and all that.

Well guess what.

Disclaimer: searching for a self hosted Spotify alternative but haven't found one yet so suggestions are very welcome!

I really don't get how spotify's music algorithms or whatever the fuck you'd call those (you get what I mean) work.

- Whenever I click on the button which should make a song not appear in my daily mix anymore, I hear it again within a fucking day.

- how the fuck does the getting you new songs which you might like work?! I'm a huge rawstyle fan and mostly listen to, surprise surprise, rawstyle.
Then why in the living fuck keeps Spotify coming up with euphoric/melodic hardstyle tracks?! I like those sometimes but only *sometimes*.

More and more often I have to skip through 20-30+ songs to get one raw song instead of a fucking euphoric one.

Replies from their support are non existent.

It's getting so fucking annoying.

When i was 15 i wanted to try myself at coding and hacking.

Yeah a bit ignorant i know.

Anyhow，i randomly found a python tutorial i believe.

Got things running and started the first tasks.

Create a var， associate a string. Create a second var and associate a new string.

Concat them and you get a new string with both of em together.

Then i told myself that this was fucking shit and i quit.

15 years later，i regret more and more that i let it go but what a fucking dumb tutorial that was...

17 years of coding and i would have been a fucking beast.

I see a trend here.

Posts of people with good number of ++’s get more ++’s than the posts of people with less number of ++’s. Even if the post of person with good number of ++’ is just a normal conversation starter and post of person with less number of ++’s is an actual good fucking rant.

It’s not a bad thing, per se. I hope nobody gets offended. All in good spirit.

To people with good number of ++’s:
Let’s not hold back and ++ the good content of people with less number of ++’s.

To people with less number of ++’s:
Don’t hold back your thoughts. Be free. Write free. Don’t try to make your rant to look a certain way to get more ++’s. We are all here to support.

Let’s grow together and spread positivity.

Peace.

CSS !important

always annoyed me cz I read it not important where it actually means the opposite... Damn it devs get your shit together!

Me: purchases Amazon Fire stick TV

Amazon: thank you for your purchase, we recommend buying a Fire stick TV Lite.

Me: so, you want me to buy the cheaper model of the item I just bought?

Amazon: hell yea, it'll go nicely with your current Fire Stick TV and offer even less functionality,

Oh you want my homework Solutions?

WELL NO! YOU WONT GET MY SOLUTIONS YOU PRICK! YOU ALWAYS TREAT ME LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT! I WONT GIVE IT TO YOU!!
AND I DONT FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOUR SHITTY GRADES! THEY ARENT MINE! AND YOU KNOW WHY?! BECAUSE I DO MY FUCKING HOMEWORK AND IT PISSES ME OFF TO ALWAYS GET REQUESTS FOR MY FUCKING SOLUTIONS! GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, PUT IT IN A BAG AND TAKE IT TO THE SHIT STORE!
WHY?!
BECAUSE I DONT CARE! THATS WHY! DO YOUR HOMEWORK!
AND MAKE GOOD GRADES!
BYE!!

Why does Google not have a dark mode for their freaking home page? I have dark mode on everything on my computer then I go to look something up on Google and get blinded. If they can do it for YouTube why don't they get it together on their nearly blank, bright white search page. You're better than this Google. And while I'm on that topic same to you stackoverflow. When I'm copying someone else's code at least let me do it in dark mode.

My wife and I just put an offer on a house, 7 try and this offer was accepted. We're trying to get our financial approval together, she's a nervous wreck and keeps asking me if that's any news because I'm dealing with the bank. So I set this up.
She called me after a couple hours to tell me the dog house had called to confirm my reservation.

I think I wanna get into AI; I wanna create an AI that configures and troubleshoots printers for me.

Those things are worse than the devil and all his demons together.

I SWEAR TO FUCK IF ADOBE CANT GET THEIR SHIT TOGETHER

WHY CANT AFTER EFFECTS LOAD AUDIO LONGER THAN 4 MINUTES

WHY DOES IT SILENCE THE AUDIO PAST THAT POINT

WHY DOES IT NOT NOTIFY YOU THAT IT WILL SILENCE THE AUDIO

IM GOING TO STRANGLE SOMEONE

Part of a product I used to work on contained a one time password generator that randomly strung together a few words from a word list.

Nothing wrong with the security, but this word list hadn't been filtered, so we did have a "bug report" from a customer who had a one time password that contained a questionable phrase:

"fucking pork Muslim"

...Call me a terrible person, but I never did get around to fixing that...

Regex.

I HATE YOU.

There. I've said it.

I spent the better part of the last hour trying to wrangle together, not one, but TWO regexes and getting them to work with Python's "re" module.

The worst part about these little shits? It's how well they work once you figure out how to get them to work. For example, pulling a phone number out of a paragraph is difficult with string methods, but cake with regex . . . if you can figure out the pattern.

But I think I'll always have hate in my heart for Regex just for how obtuse and frustrating they can be.

F**k you regex.

So we started looking into docker. As always I needed to do the research and I was fine with it.

We have 4 projects that are sold into one suite so logically I follow the microservices build structure.

3 months later after everything has been set up, we get called into a meeting. The whole suite should be a monolith as microservices doesn't make sense to the people planning everything.

Ok pulled my current plans out abd made everything a monolith. Just note I also get pulled away to other Business Units to do work for them.

Get pulled into another meeting 2 months later. Why isn't the docker containers in microservices!? It is stupid running as a monolith and we should've done our jobs better etc...

After the meeting my manager and I just sighed and walked to the office. So basically 5 months doing the the exact same thing we did in 3 weeks.

Now they want to develop other services and want to strip every method into a microservice and bundle it together.

Life of a DevOps engineer right!

"I'm almost done, I'll just need to add tests!"

Booom! You did it, that was a nuke going off in my head.

No, you shouldn't just need to add tests. The tests should have been written from the get go! You most likely won't cover all the cases. You won't know if adding the tests will break your feature, as you had none, as you refactor your untested mess in order to make your code testable.

When reading your mess of a test case and the painful mocking process you went through, I silently cry out into the void: "Why oh why!? All of this suffering could have been avoided!"

Since most of the time, your mocking pain boils down to not understanding what your "unit" in your "unit test" should be.

So let it be said:

- If you want to build a parser for an XML file, then just write a function / class whose *only* purpose is: parse the XML file, return a value object. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less.
- If you want to build a parser for an XML file, it MUST NOT: download a zip, extract that zip, merge all those files to one big file, parse that big file, talk to some other random APIs as a side-effect, and then return a value object.

Because then you suddenly have to mock away a http service and deal with zip files in your test cases.

The http util of your programming language will most likely work. Your unzip library will most likely work. So just assume it working. There are valid use cases where you want to make sure you acutally send a request and get a response, yet I am talking unit test here only.

In the scope of a class, keep the public methods to a reasonable minimum. As for each public method you shall at least create one test case. If you ever have the feeling "I want to test that private method" replace that statement in your head with: "I should extract that functionality to a new class where that method public. I then can create a unit test case a for that." That new service then becomes a dependency in your current service. Problem solved.

Also, mocking away dependencies should a simple process. If your mocking process fills half the screen, your test setup is overly complicated and your class is doing too much.

That's why I currently dig functional programming so much. When you build pure functions without side effects, unit tests are easy to write. Yet you can apply pure functions to OOP as well (to a degree). Embrace immutability.

Sidenote:

It's really not helpful that a lot of developers don't understand the difference between unit, functional acceptance, integration testing. Then they wonder why they can't test something easily, write overly complex test cases, until someone points out to them: No, in the scope of unit tests, we don't need to test our persistance layer. We just assume that it works. We should only test our businsess logic. You know: "Assuming that I get that response from the database, I expect that to happen." You don't need a test db, make a real query against that, in order to test that. (That still is a valid thing to do. Yet not in the scope of unit tests.)

My Razer laptop died due to a hard drive failure so i filed an RMA. They didn't have the replacement part in stock, so they're replacing the laptop all together. Mine is a 2019 model with a 2060, but the current equivalent model has a RTX 3070, so I'll get that instead. I'm not complaining 😏

Screw the current Stack Overflow community so hard. It's still basically the only place to get answers but I'm sick and tired of the "you missed a period on line 7 why are you even on this site??" attitude. Look here, yeah it's my bad for missing that part, but I'm pretty sure that if you can't figure out that I missed an obvious ".ToArray()" when pulling my code together for a sample, then you aren't gonna be able to answer my bit-shifting question in the first place.

This is the last straw. I am so done with Chrome.

…

I woke up AGAIN this morning to my MacBook shining away brightly, having not gone to sleep the ENTIRE night. I did some better research this time and discovered it's actually Chrome that is causing this.

Yes Chrome is deciding whether my MacBook goes to sleep or not.

I am not ok with this. Worse, it doesn't even have any ability to change this behavior. It's basically a hidden "feature" of Chrome: it wastes your hydro too!

This is not the first time this has happened either. Last time my MacBook wasn't properly plugged in and it completely drained the battery, shutting it right off. I ranted about that already.

But I am just SO fucking livid about this right now. What on EARTH is going through google's mind that they think this is in any way even REMOTELY acceptable?

I've already filed a bug report but I think this is the last straw. I am just sick to death of Chrome. This bug is literally costing me money and damaging my property.

Shove it right up your fucking ass, Google. Right up there and twist it around.

I'm switching back to a real browser.

A lot of the string operations in Python, because they are named like shit.

First you have startswith. No underscore. Just two words glued together. No case notation, nothing. So ugly and difficult to remember when Python isn't your only language.

And then there's tolower. Wait, no, it's actually just lower. If we're gonna stick with the shitty naming, can we at least keep the two-words, no underscore thing? No, I guess it's easier to save those two characters.

And isupper, the function to get supper from your iPhone.

Yeah, it's small. But aren't most of our gripes about languages tiny anyways.

At my previous job we had to complete an online security training exercise. It shows you how to behave secure in the work place, to not open unknown links etc. The scary part was that the entire training thing was BUILT IN FUCKING FLASH. So I'm suppose to listen to some god damn virus shitting flash application on how to do online security?! Get your shit together before teaching others.

OK< been a long time user of Unity.

Tried the latest update as I and others were enthusiastic about creating a joint project of gamers and developers.

As I was building up a started website and we were getting things with Unity ready...BOOM,. They Fuck up the installs.

Not just a minor thing here or there but not finding its own Fucking file locations where it installs shit. You try and say, Hey Unity you fucking twat, install here in this folder.

Boom again, it installs part of it there, and then continues installing shit everywhere else it wants to. Then the assholes at Unity give this Bullshit claim "the bug has been fixed."

Just reinstall.

Fuck you, its never that simple, You have to delete all sorts of fucking files to make sure conflicts from a previous corruption isn't just loaded on top of so it does not fuck up later.

So we did all that from programs, program data, program(x86), AppData Local, Local Low, and Roaming.

For added measure we manually removed all the crap from the registry folders (that was a pain but necessary), and then ran a cleaner to make sure all the left over shit was gone.

Thinking, OK you shit tech MoFo's we are clean and here we go.

HOLY SHIT BALLS, Its fucking worse with the LTS version it recommends and Slow as Fuck with their most recent version which is like 2020 itself, and insane piece of fucking bloated garbage and slower than a brick hard shit without fruit.

So we were going to all go post on the forums, and complain the fix section isn't fixed for shit.

Fuck us running backwards naked through a field of razor grass. Its so overloaded with complaints that they shut down further posts.

What makes this shit worse is we cannot even get the previous fucking versions of the editor before all this to work where our only option is without using the fucking Hub demand is just install 2018.

great if we started coding and testing in that. We cannot get shit where we were at back on track because you cannot fucking backward load an exported saved asset file.

Unity's suggestion? Start over.

Our Suggestion? Stop fucking smoking or using whatever fucking drug you assholes are on, you fucking disabled the gear options so we can resolve shit ourselves, and admit you did that shit and other sneaky piece of shit back stabby, security vulnerable data leak bullshit things to your end users.

Listen to your fucking experienced and long time users and get rid of the Fucking backward stepped hub piece of shit everyone with more brains than whatever piss ant pieces of shit praised that the rest of us have hated from day fucking one!

And while fixing this shit like it should be fucking fixed if you shit head bastards want to continue to exist as a fucking company, overhaul the fucking website or get the fuck out of business with now completely worthless SHIT.

Phew:
Suffice it to say....

We are now considering dealing with the learning curve and post pone our project going with unreal just because of these all around complete fuck ups that herald back to shit games of versions 3.0 and earlier.

People fucking think that working for a fucking startup is a fucking cake walk. Every person making 6 figure salaries but no one fucking wants to put in an effort to work slightly harder! Show up at 10 and leave a 4 and yeah v'll get funded. And the worst fucking part is no one wants to check something as simple as fucking work emails after work! Fucking get your acts together or just walk the fuck out the door.

I know work life balance is important but don't expect that when you know the company is treading harsh waters and needs everyone to get their shit together so we get funded!

Annoying thing happened at work as usual -> can't get the mood to code -> procrastinate -> finally get my shit together -> get some work done -> shit it's 07.00 PM I should be going home already -> still coding because I started late -> shit it's 09.00 PM -> get the fuck home -> I need time to be alone and relieve stress by surfing the web -> shit it's 02.00 AM -> try to get some sleep -> Why did she left me? How's dad doing? God I think I that function that I coded today is awful, gotta fix it tomorrow. Am I going to afford a house EVER? Fuck what I'm doing with my life. -> Shit it's 05.00 AM, I MUST SLEEP. -> (kinda sleep) -> Fuck it's 10.00 shit shit shit shit -> arrive at work -> I'm not ready to open the code -> procrastinate -> ...

Is the software at your company so bad that it's a miracle that anything works?

Does it feel like this colossal pile of broken electronics from the past 30 years duct taped together and patched with multiple tiers of adapters, wires spliced together with scotch tape, and someone on stand by with a fire extinguisher?

Do you feel like getting your product to work is like how we used to get things to work back in the eighties? Not just turning things off and on again, but things like hitting the tv to make it work again, blowing into cartridges, and the feeling of pulling on the starting cord on a gas powered mower over and over again to no avail?

That is exactly what my company's codebase is. A huge amorphous, heterogenous pile of shit that somehow works and occasionally has to be massaged to make it work again. Fuck my life.

JS get your shit together

Python 2. Python is an awesome language, but Python 2. No. I want to die.
It's deprecated as of 2018, so get your shit together and update your fucking libraries, community!

When I was about 10 I tried to make a basic midi sequencer/synthesiser using just the python standard library.
The only sound production there was was winsound.beep, which played a sine wave at the frequency given.
I realised that if I put enough really short beeps together I could make some mildly convincing instruments - I remember an electric piano, acoustic guitar, some kind of bass synth, and maybe more?
Then I put them together to make a song. The problem was though that you can't play multiple notes together as winsound.beep was blocking (though I didn't understand that at the time).
I had no knowledge of threading or async so I opened multiple python interpreter instances to play multiple channels. That's how I learnt about command-line arguments!
But I really struggled to get the sounds to be in time because python is not exactly rapid.
I made a kind of note sequencer using a library called easygui, based on tkinter (TCL wrapper), and I remember being told off at school for bringing in a usb stick with the exe of my program that I made with py2exe.
So many old technologies and fond memories...

Kid brings me an ancient Chromebook with non-functioning "t" key.

I crack open the case and remove a bunch of screws trying to get to the keyboard.

No can do. This thing is built to basically self-destruct upon user tampering (Dammit, China!!!)

Put it all back together with the intent of trying to wipe it and recycle it.

The "t" key is suddenly working fine.

SOO.
I work at a grocery store, right. Cashier and all ya know, livin the dream. And whoever manages our product database. Needs to get thekr stuff together. We managed to confirm the DB isn't the same across the the registers. So now I have a bunch of stupid pictures of barcodes in my phone so I can make error reports for each and every single item that doesn't ring up. I know not ready dev related. But a dev somewhere is slacking

*closes service*
*deletes program / associated exe's*
*attempts to delete a file*
"Failed to delete file: In use by that_program_you_deleted.exe"

WELL IT'S NOT IN USE BECAUSE I JUST DELETED IT SO YOU'D BETTER GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER, WINDOWS

!dev && !rant

My sister is getting married tomorrow. My cousin will get married in 3 weeks.. a good friend of mine just became a mom.

They’re all about my age.

This made me realize i only have about 2 friends which I see once every few months, don’t meet any new people, don’t take care of my physical health and haven’t been in a relationship for about 7 years by now.
I started working as a dev 8 years ago and really sacrificed my life to the 2 companies I worked for.

I own nice cars and make good money (relatively spoken) , but for me I know I really have to get my shit together and start to actually get a personal / social life.

So I decided to quit my job and move to another country where I feel like I fit in (posted about the idea to do this a while ago and devs here were super supportive, thanks for that guys)

From now on, I’ll make sure to have a good work-life balance and take more care of myself.
Otherwise, success and money ain’t worth shit..

A good weekend to all of you and happy coding.

I decided that I wanted to try and write and android app. So here I am, following their "Hello World" tutorial, for good measure, just to find out that using that with the newest SDK 28 produces errors and needs work arounds. Already. In the Hello World example.

Just created the project anew with SDK 27. Cannot be bothered with this and this time.

But seriously. What the fk. Get your shit together Android. <.<' It's not such a strong kickback but it's unecessary trouble nobody needs...

cssRant

Why for the sake of world peace can't Edge inherit "opacity" to children?
This drives me insane!!!11!!one!eleven!!1!!

Get you fucking turds together dear browser developers!

The whole webDev business gets serious crippling depression from your brainless way of pooping out what you call "browser"!

Me: soooo can you get this done by next week?
Other dev: well who knows what rabbit hole I'll fall down. There's no way to tell.
Me: can you just avoid falling down a rabbit hole? We have a deadline.
Other dev: oh ya there's no way to know for sure.
Me: ....... Can you please try harder
Other dev: I'm trying I can't.
Me: ................

Looking at the one star reviews when buying new tech is pretty telling.

If you struggle to string sentences together, it's no wonder you can't get shit to work.

Me: has continuous mental breakdowns and health issues because of stress@college
Mom: if you dont finish college you wont get a good job
Me (already earning more than my parents together): yeah u r right
Me: *continues college*

Can i just die

My ISP can suck the biggest, sweatiest pile of dicks.
First of all, our normal service is garbage (1mb down, 0.1 up).
On top of that, for some reason, the Internet access goes down for a few minutes every time the public IP changes (2-3 times a day) which is fucking annoying.
And THEY FUCKING BROUGHT FIBRE TO MY NEIGHBOUR (20 METRES DOWN THE STREET) WHO IS AN OLD COUPLE WHO HAVE 0 INTEREST IN THE INTERNET, BUT THEY REFUSE TO BRING IT TO ME.
Fucking Vodafone, get your shit together.

Hamburg and surrounding area!
Leave a comment!
Let's see if we can get a group of locals together

My apprentice is driving me nuts with his failed attempts on gold-plating.
The task "Get the data and export it to a file" becomes ""After many attempts to get the data via a different query than we worked out together I now finally got it and it makes sense if it was displayed but only one set of data at a time and it should also be selected what data should be exported and I have no idea how to do that so Cero, can you help me?".
Dang it dude, just show me for once that you can do 1 clearly decribed task, where you have many examples to work with, and NOT try to add any extras!

I am now working on how to tell him this in a nicer way...

I hate being so insecure. I don't start developing an idea because I think I won't be able to do it, I don't code together with someone who is better than me because I think they'll make fun of me or think I'm doing it wrong, I don't speak up in class even though I probably, definitely, know the answer. I feel like I'll never get anywhere if I remain this way. Anyone have some advice? Thanks

WTF, Google?! Get your shit together!! No one wants another GUI disaster makeover which leads us from bad to worse.

Every time I log into g+ or gmail, the whole flippin GUI has changed.. OK, it might be just my taste for simplicity, but I do not think a 'better GUI' should make you feel like an ape trying to code.. :\

If people with programming skills can't use it 'out of the box' & without googling stuff like "where did you hid the new email button", how the f do other people who are IT inept supposed to use it!? OR is it just me?! If it's just me, I'll shut up and love the new GUI.. otherwise: juck!!

#itSucksToBeOnTheOtherSideOfTheCode :\

Serveral users complain that the error messages our software produces are completely useless, so I get assigned to improve the error reporting.

Starting the task by checking what's there and how it works together.

Looking through the code I discover 4 completely different error reporting implementations, each having the same intent and promised functionality. All of them are used somewhere, sometimes next to each other. Needless to say: None of the implementations actually implements all it promises.

My favourite part is the setErrorMessage(string) method that is defined in one header and used in many places, which has the implementation

void setErrorMessage(string){}

Fuck my life.

Why the fuck did Oracle change their policies on the official JDK and made the website nigh impossible to use?!

It was shit from the 90s before, and now its still shit just modern.

Why do I have to register do get the JDK, you know Im going to use the fucking 10min mail. I just wanted to setup a freaking build server and I had to go over your retarded website that for some reason *refreshes* and erases the username field everytime I put in the wrong password. Why?

Why is oracle just outright bad at making websites?! Its always a maze to navigate and now it also takes seconds to even load...

This shit is why everyone uses openJDK and adopt. 3 billion devices running java?! Not with your jre/jdk they are not, because It's a pain to get... Don't me even get started on the mess it does on windows server. Why wasn't my JAVA_HOME set automatically?! I lost almost 2 hours because I trusted your piece of shit software to so the one job it has, even reinstalled it completely...

Get your shit together Oracle, this was unacceptable 10 years ago, let alone now

I wonder whether this is a bug in Chrome, or if it's just Google drawing the conclusion from my northern geo-position, that we still haven't left the stage of building longships, raiding England and Scotland, burning monasteries and writing awesome poetry and literature in weird characters sets.

Well, I'm not Ragnarr f*cking Loðbrók or Egill Skallagrímsson, so I can't read electronic component data sheets the way those guys did.

I'll go grab my chisel, so I can carve a bug report into a suitably flat stone and shove it down the TCP/IP series of tubes leading to Google.

FIGMA CAN YOU GET YOUR FUCKING SHIT TOGETHER?

I never thought I'd see one of these myself...
Damn it Colombo get your act together :V
(Zara, Colombo Mall, Lisbon)

NGL hearing the head of I.T ask you to help a brotha out and "do your magic" makes one feel pretty fucking legit.

I know I pull some magical shit, I know most developers in senior level positions or management do, but I also know we all rarely get recognized. The fact that someone would know that what you do is basically magic for your institution makes one feel so fucking good.

I really fucking try. Shit is hard and holding an entire department together sometimes gets the best of me, but I fucking try.

wish you all the same feelings all the time, always

Setup git push notifications (to each of their own channels), together with automatic deployment via webhook, though I'll add notifications to that too, as it currently doesn't have any besides the log file.

Gitea really has been a blast for me to finally get all things git - done, maybe because it is just so lightweight.

Starting to get really pissed off with the hierarchy in my department that my manager keeps insisting ‘doesn’t exist’ but it clearly does when the other team manager is her best friend, to the point where they go on holiday together, go to each others family parties, etc.

Manager goes on holiday for two weeks and other TL gets on her high fucking horse lording over my team and uninviting me from meetings that she thinks I ‘don’t need to be in’ when the majority of the project is mine..

But my manager hasn’t appointed a deputy.....

Dear HR, please, stop creating online meetings with no real intention. Only to "have fun" and get together.

Cengage get your shit together.

I'm paying $200 fucking dollars to use your online learning platforms, not actually fucking work. As in don't freeze for 5 seconds after I type 2 letters into your search bar.

Oh and BlackBoard you like of shit. Your text boxes are absolutely fucking broken. Thank God we're ditching you, you pile of shit.

Coworker was adversarial from the get. He would always bully me by saying “You better do [BLANK]!” whenever we’d discuss tasks to be done. He eventually pushed my buttons too many times. I responded to his bullying tactic by yelling back, “IF I DON’T, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT!? Stop bullying me and let’s work TOGETHER on this!” I realize now he was fucking with my head.

Fucking spotify client is so bad.

Sometimes I want to listen to some music while coding in the train. Turn on "offline mode" and go to "artists". Only one fucking song of soad. I go to "songs" and suddenly 10 songs of soad.I go to playlists and 40 more songs.

Get your fucking shit together. If you have 50 songs downloaded in some playlist you can display them in "songs" and "artists" too you pile of shit

Dumbass made me update site with broken code ...

After git pulling I got an ich and tested it...

So the following talk happened:

Me: feature x is still broken (it was working before...)

Dass: yeah, I just wanna make some screenshots of it from another machine that has windows.

Me: OK, I just rolled the changes back, you can access the other machine at lan...

Me inside: OOOHHHH YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT MADE ME GET UP FROM BED AND START MY FUCKING COMPUTER FOR THIS BULLSHIT IDIOTIC NONSENSE?!? FOR REAL??? GET YOU SHIT TOGETHER ASSHOLE!

TL;DR;

Idiot hard coded database host on the app... Pushed to prod and suddenly shit wasn't working... Took me 10 minutes to figure out what was going on...

Wrote a passive aggressive git message and commited.
Before updating prod my boss turns around to me and the following took place:

Boss: is there any problem with the server?

Me: yes, someone (i know who was ) hard coded the test db IP and it broke the backend.

Boss: oh, but will it affect the mobile app?

Me: well, it won't work but I'm already pushing the fix.

Boss: no..err.. I mean... Will I have to make any change to the mobile app?

Me inside: wtf dude... For real?! Get your shit together...

Me: no. It good, I already fixed it.

Boss: OK. Thanks

TL;DR;

Moron hard coded dB's host and stupid boss can't get shit together nor ask who did it to take precautions...

The best dev team I have been with is during college where the three of us who were working at a maker space would go to various hackathon and stay up all night to build cool stuff! (We won prizes at quite a few hackathons too!) The other two are pursuing their masters in a different college now, I miss going to hackathons with them :( Hoping that we get to go to a hackathon together soon!

Yours truly is gonna get published again (probably, most likely) but has to get their shit together and write faster because deadlines.

Send good vibes plz. I've been lazy lately.

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb couldn't get their shit together for 3 months, but their bit is in order now. Will you work the weekend for free to make up the the schedule?

Why I need to clone myself:
- one of us can stay home learning cool stuff and the second one can go to work.
- Will go to work 2-3 three days per week depending on schedule
- we can build projects faster!
- if we get bored we can play video games together.
And punch of other stuff

Oh noes... My password on localhost:8080 has been leaked :( what to do.. what to doooo..... :(((

Oh FFS google! Get yourself together!

Rapid firing some mini rants.

Fuck people that go on vacation and post 100 pictures of it. Chill out fam. I can guarantee you that 95% of your followers don't give a shit. Keep the posts minimal; 3-5 is ideal with 5-7 being acceptable.

People that post shit like r/whooosh in the comments on posts can suck a dick. That's not necessary asshats.

Why the fuck do the Android versions of every major app suck ass? Like c'mon man. It's the most widely used mobile OS. Take Apple's dick out your ass and fix this garbage. (I get that supporting the cheap ass devices that never get OS updates is one thing, but ffs im using a Pixel. Get your shit together.)

This TED talk was brought to you by Stuxnet. Thanks for coming.

Get an email from a client, who has been stringing me along for about 6 months, but ringing me up for advice on tonnes of different shit for free. Basically did his original website but his business model has changed to make his existing site irrelevant. Suggested months back doing a simple one pager as a stop gap with key messages. The bastard said no to that "just take it down for now and redirect to my LinkedIn page". He keeps saying we are getting stuff together and we hope to get together in September. However, yesterday he sends an email "we are getting a student in over the summer (not a Dev or designer or anything). Could you recommend any "web builders" so we can get on with the website in August. By that he means those drag and drop fucking pieces of shit website templates full of wysiwyg editors for creating shit typography. I give them free help and guidance and they think that I'm not going to want to smash him in his fucking face for his last email. The cunt.
I have an idea for 'having the last laugh' but I am open to suggestions from some devRanters, all legal of course.
P.S. I post quite a bit here about shitty clients, but I do have a number of really good clients who value my work and experience and have been with me for many years. It's just some that treat the profession with disdain and that they can easily do it themselves if only they had the time. These fuckers then wonder why their businesses fail.

Worst and only experience is the reason I moved away from programming...
25 years ago I was hired to copy a phone book list to a access database.
Access back then would create lots of garbage, so I would add 3 to 5 entries before access crashed (shitty p133 laptop with 32mb ram running windows 98.
So I made a visual basic program to add data and work around the problem.
I offered said program to the guy really cheap and would still make it better.
Did also a admin module since he had hired dozens of people and I knew he would have problems peasing the databases together.
And... Dude cancels the deal.
I get a job, 2 weeks later he calls me... Ohhh I don't know how to get all the databases together...
Me: I'm working now, the program I did solved said problem. I trew the code away. Deal with it.

Clown manager put three juniors (and ”senior” dev on work visa) on new project.

They will never finish it.

It’s too hard for them with some legacy dynamically created complex database queries which will spook the hell out of them!

But managers like, ”it’s going to be good” and ”making good progress”.

Fuck no! Putting juniors together? With little support? It such a waste. They spent weeks just to get even the slightest progress.

No best practise. No tests. Just hacking away.

It’s a failure of the management! We fail our juniors and they will quit as soon as they get the chance and they feel like they have some wind under their wings.

”It’s going to be good”

Pff. Clowns leading this company.

Never thought I'd say this but...I wish IE6 was back for Outlook.

//After Outlook 2003, Microsoft decided that MS Word was a better renderer for emails than IE6 was, what the hell Microsoft?! Get it together man.

Holy fucking shit germany... what the fuck is wrong with you?! the FUCKING TELECOM CONTROLS MOST OF THE FUCKING INTERNET?! Like holy fucking shit?! And what did they announce? svdsl... SVDSL?! SUPER VECTORING DSL?! I mean... you take the oldest car... make it a little better... you get SDSL... And then? you go for Fiber? no. YOU MAKE THE FUCKING SHIT EVEN DEEPER! You take your OLD FUCKING CAR AND MAKE IT A ZOMBIE! And then you get Super Vectoring DSL... holy shit germany... take your shit together and EXPAND YOUR FUCKING FIBER NETWORK! Fuck.

Spent 3 hours today digging through 3rd party libraries, trying to get them all to work together nicely.

The solution? A one line fix in my own source.

FACEPALM!!!

Want to fuck other developers? Then make a quite probable project name illegal without documenting it, nor providing any helpful information in the error messages.

I tried to name my Flutter test project flutter_test. Turns out that that name is reserved (it's a package). Fml. 🤦🏽‍♂️

I just received this notification on my phone. Robeco is a large investment bank from The Netherlands. 🤦🏽‍♂️

My last job sucked because of ridiculous deadlines, never-ending demos with hacked together fake sites, etc...but I still get nostalgic and miss it because I worked with some really cool people.

Writing a truly crossplatform terminal library is the biggest pain in the ass.

And you thought windows was bad. They have a proper API with droves of features, freely allocatable screenbuffers, scrolling on both axes, etc.
Fucking xterm vtxxx compatible piles of shit are the problem.
Controlling kinda works eventhough the feature set is pretty bad. The really fucked up thing is reading values back. They literally get put into the input buffer. So you have to read all the actual user input before that and then somehow parse out the returned control sequence. Of course the user input has to be consumed so I have to buffer it myself. Even better is when you get a response with non printable characters which the fucking terminal will interpret as another control sequence. So when you set a window title to a ansi control sequence it would get executed when queried. Fuck this shit but I'm not giving up. I will tame this ugly, bodged together dragon

Oh my motherfucking God...
How the fuck can a dumb IDE be so fucking slow? I entered the office at 8:15. And I am still unable to checkout a motherfucking previous version of an android app in git and get Android studio to build it, because the fucking gradle is so damn slow it freezes the GUI. WHAT. THE. FUCK. Android studio get you shit together and maybe, just maybe don't be such a dick!!!

You need 5 min to open that project and another 10 to build it ONLY FOR ME TO REALIZE THAT I HAVE TO REPEAT THAT WHOLE PROCEDURE BECAUSE I NEED A DIFFERENT APP VERSION FROM THE GIT REPO FUCK YOU YOU SHITFACED STUPID COCKSUCKING CUNT, SHIT FUCK ARRRRGH!!!

Sincerely,
Me.

Edit: now it's 9:35 btw

Am I the only one who thinks that the new Linux CoC is actually not bad? I think most of the ppl who are flaming about the CoC didn't even read the text. It literally says not be be an asshole and be polite to everyone. What's wrong with that? I know that man think the author has a questionable background. Even if, so what? Dump the CoC and "pull the code" BS because you don't like the author? Let the politics out of open source and get your shit together... and yes I see the irony, but this is the place for ranting :)

Because in #Adobe's utopia world, #everyone is a local admin.. and is super computer literate and knows how to use the terminal to change permissions. Oh wait no, the fact is the world is filled with organisations whose users act like monkeys in a cage and absolutely cannot be trusted with admin rights.

And yes.. the 'repair' does nothing, of course!

Ughhh Adobe.. get your act together.

So my coworker is gonna change computer and for the past two weeks is "annoying" me to install Ubuntu for her...

Look ... I'm a dev just like you... Get your shit together and do it yourself or wait.

So Wednesday I gave her the task to backup her shit because I'm gonna do it today... Guess what she told me? That I'm better at it and if I could do do for her...

Sure.. Yeah... Gonna rsync your /home/user folder to the new machine and fuck you if you loose anything, that's not my fucking job you useless piece of shit.

Why the fuck is android studio such an unoptimized POS?

It sucks up resources like a sponge.
And Gradle just pushes the cores to the max.
Simulator is a memory hogging Pos too.

I had to buy a new laptop just to run it faster.

I had
AMD A8 4500M
8gb ram, running on Ubuntu.

Now I have macbook-pro 15 in. And it still can ramp us the fans.

Ffs get your shit together jetbrains.

(2 months old in a company)
Team members to me: we are always there for you. Ask anything you need for.

Me(today): can you please discuss this topic with me?
Team member A: I'm sorry I'm busy
Me: okay

Me: can you please discuss this topic with me?

Team member B: I got to catch the train now.
Me: we catch same train. Let's discuss during the commute.
Team member B: NO. We will not get two seats together (it's easy to find two seats).

me (in my mind): I really need help here.
Me: okay

Co-worker: At my last job "I was technically lead dev", so don't mind me telling you what to do and criticizing every line of code you write. (He said that in finger quotes. I am also paraphrasing the last part, but you get the gist).

Me: So the fact that we are both level 3 programmers means nothing?

Co-worker: Exactly! See you understand!

Me in my mind: What a prick!

Just a little context there aren't any lead devs at our company, our boss doesn't want any. Also we have been working at this company together for 3 years, and this co-worker just said that to me today, WTF?

FUCCKKKKK WHY DOES LINKEDIN HAVE TO REFRESH THE FEED EVERY TIME I SHARE A FUCKING ARTICLE! NOW I HAVE TO SCROLL ALL THE WAY DOWN YOU MORONS! WHY ARE YOU MAKING MY LIFE HARDER THAN IT NEEDS TO BE??!!

What the fuck is up with job ads for "software engineer" that don't list the tech stack or even the actual product you'd be working on. I get it that it's some shitty external HR companies but are they even trying?

Also half the fullstack positions that don't even list the front stack. "Looking for a backender that will also cobble together some mess for the front, we don't give a shit". And then half of professional software is virtually unusable.

I want to write something in PHP.

Yes, coming from me, it sounds like stockholm syndrome, but for me PHP is reminiscent of simpler times.

I want to get a server right where I bought the domain, with CPanel, log in with FTP and ~~push~~ (excuse me, _send_) index.php and other files there. I want to open phpmyadmin and throw some stupid fields together that won't work at scale, but "scale" will never happen.

I want to design websites without normalize.css, without any kind of javascript but some silly UI stuff, I want to send emails with sendmail and not sendgrid. I want my gradient buttons back.

Symphony and Laravel can kiss my ass.

I hate how Sketch has become a standard in design when it only supports a single platform.

What i hate more is that state "regrettably" on their website but won't fucking do anything about it.

If you want to be treat seriously, get your shit together.

For the love of Jeebus and all his holyness!!

These fuckers, that I've been studying with for the last semester need to get there shit together!

It's one thing that they want to discuss every single thing and NOT come to a different conclusion after a couple of hours....

BUT I fucking draw the fucking line in the dirt, when you shit eating wimps "forget" to format your code and do the worst half-assed job I have ever seen!
Why the fuck would you only indent half of the lines, without any sort of system?!?

And what is this? A huge fucking bunch of random spaces and tabs at the end of a line? Jeebus, save me!

There seems to be a lot of people protesting and coming together in support of net neutrality.

The rant here, where the fuck were all of you during the election? That was the time to come together and do something, now your efforts are futile.

What's worse, I'll wager net neutrality gets overturned and next election the same batch of assholes get voted in.

What can you actually do to solve the problem? Peer to peer internet similar to tor but fast enough to support considerable traffic. Platform needs to be like tor with encrypted decentralized DNS.

Start an ISP. This would also help.

Get cracking, smart people.

So, my wife got this new PR job where she sometimes gets called in the middle of the fucking night because some jackoff in Singapore said or did some shit.
Since "husbands that work deep into the night get cheated on by their wives", and I believe in equal gender rights, I thought it would be a good opportunity to watch the new episode of the series we watch together. By my fucking self.
Is that how it feels to cheat on someone?

Why is it that if you are not able to remember every single detail about something you've heard, that you as a person are deemed worthless?

Everything you do and need in life is bound to your memory.
Can't remember a name?
That's rude.
Can't remember what a technology does?
You won't get that job.
Can't remember the topics you learned about in school?
You won't get that education.

I can't remember things, my mind is constantly drifting. This, together with my inability to articulate myself clearly, makes me a complete nobody.
I hope that someday I'm just able to do something creative and not have these issues. Until then I'll just try not to jump in front of a train.

Starting to get really hyped about how my book is progressing, thinking about starting to put some promotional items and desk tat together...

Oh lord I'm a better author than a dev, someone slap me...

(I'm slightly terrified that it might actually get finished and may have fans so my mind is sort of melting into sludge and I hide it behind excitement)

A nice lil hotel, family style.

People come and go when they want.

Living together in the hotel like a family - for just having people around, someone to talk, learning interesting stuff.

Cooking, baking, maybe some livestock.

Colder weather, somewhere rural.

Tops if there is no internet available and the only news you can get is via radio transmitter, so I can just shut out all the madness of the world.

A nice quiet place with a social atmosphere and friendly people. Calm and soothing.

Seriously, why can't youtube devs get their crappy code together!! Got a BSoD after watching a certain YT video.... I think its outputting malformed video data that causes MS Edge to crash the whole system....

And this started happening after Creators Update....

You see this fucker? Those are packets sent to Apple, what are those packets? The update of an app I am working on.

Makes me wonder why the fuck does upload disconnect out of a sudden when there is not a single issue in the network I'm connected to!

Apple get your shit together cuz an update process takes more time than developing the damn app!

Hey girl are you a graphical user interface because GU and I should get together sometime

ME - me, TM - teammate
I was just recruited to the company. We're starting new project based on few modules.

ME: So this module will do X and Y, I will use good old interfaces and design based on abstractions so that stuff does not get glued too much.

TM: But why? Make good old processor with all the logic and throw objects at it.

ME: B-but unit tests, decomposition and othet stuff...

TM: *insists and forces me to agree*

ME: *gets shit done his way, TM checks on code review and complains but generally doesnt give a fuck*

ME: Ok, its done. Lets get shit shipped.

TM: Well, we were just told by PM that we will need to process one more source with much different logic that does not fit current solution (he did meant GOD-PROCESSOR, idea of his).

ME: What do you mean? *injects another contextual implementation of processing logic to template method pattern solution*.

TM: I will tell PM you cant make it because of the implementation.

ME: But I just did it...

TM: Impossible, processor needs to be reimplemented. Get your shit together!

ME: *still doesnt get the shit about the god processor love*

TM: *rage quits next month*

ME: *module gets reused once more 2 month later, profit*

I just pulled an all-nighter to write an usability testing protocol in Microsoft Word for a medical mobile app.

- statement of consent and privacy declaration; easy: 1 hour
- structuring the protocol and writing the different use cases; easy: 1-2 hours
- layouting the document so the tables don't look like utter shit and adding dotted lines into the columns so the user can write in it without fucking up the whole document when resizing a simple column width; a fucking nightmare: 5 hours

Why is the creation of a nice layout so inefficient to the point where I'd rather design a form in CSS and send it to my printer, get your shit together!

!rant

The Philips Hue API is some tight-ass shit! I'm not particularly interested in the light bulbs-- maybe I'll give them a try --but the API for the motion sensor is brilliant. Simple, easy JSON responses to simple GET requests against a device-specific URL. I was able to throw together a working sensorcheck script in only a couple minutes.

Slack's latest update just broke the darkify hack. It's 2019, right? It is unbelievable that there is no built-in dark mode for Linux, Mac, or even windows. I mean, they are aware of dark mode. It is available on mobile without trouble. Get it together, slack!

How can I just "chill"?!

Our project's demo is coming up soon and since we there only two in the team we have to work together.

I did all the coding and my so-called "team mate" just watched behind my back or refreshed the git!!!!

And we get the same pay. 😧😤

F.M.L.

C'mon CBA, get it together. If today is Friday and something happened on Thursday (AKA yesterday) that's "1 day ago". It is known!

To all those working from home...
How do you keep yourself motivated to stick to a schedule?

I've been at this for 7 months now; it was great for the first 2 months, now I can't seem to get my ass together.

I still get my work done, but that's the problem.
Because I'm not motivated to stick to the schedule I've made, I'm chipping away at my non-work time to get the work done.

Any advice?

Ubuntu kernel+Nvidia drivers.

It's a hate story I tell you!!

Teams, get your shit together

One thing my dev years have showed me through various systems:
The world is held together by masses of scripts. And most of them are horribly bad, unmaintainable, extremely complex and usually not replaced on requirement changes, but extended by other terrible scripts to get the desired behaviour.

Windows is based on tons of shitty batch scripts, powershell madness, WSH bullshit and VBS absurdity.
GNU/Linux is build upon trillions of incomprehensible shell scripts, heaps of python gizmo and perl mysteries.
Every complex system I've seen uses batch or shell scripts to fire up its runtime.

And it doesn't seem to get any better, so let's face it, we're doomed.

1. Get more fluent with c#
2. Move together with my girlfriend
3. Get my band started after a 2 year break
4. Increase my salary
5. Decrease my worked hours (I have to many thinks I really enjoy doing)
6. Finally ban JQuery from my workspace for all time

What's the worst word in the world? "Canceling"... Get your UX act together and hide the process... please

YOU FUCKING FUCK APPLE GET YOUR FUCKING SHIT TOGETHER DAMN IT!
Left work 4 hours ago and guess what fucking ipa file did not get uploaded to app store, why? no one fucking knows! I admit 4Mbit speed isn't fast but if a tiny interruption happens to the mac's connection apploader will simply drop the upload!
I don't understand NASA was able to reach Mars and Apple fails to make a fucking decent file uploader !!!!
Now I will be going to waste two fucking hours tomorrow morning for the fucking file to be uploaded!

I committed to some work I probably should have turned down. Great people and enjoyable work but I agreed to a good hourly rate but I have a cap of 20 hours a week. I keep putting in extra hours that I don't get paid for. I want the work to be good and don't think it can be completed in 20hrs per week. The work involves mentoring others and I just can't leave in the middle of helping them. My husband is fed up with my wimpyness. I am putting off a project we are working on together to do this work. The contract will be over in 3 months. What do I do?

Manager encounters problem, hacks a load of stuff together to "get around" the problem. Asks me to fix the issue. I spend a week tidying up what he'd hacked together, then change it so I encounter the problem.

A morning of probing later, the problem?

One of our servers is running 2 firewalls, so we were having network connection issues on just that server.

I know that you two guys don't get together well. Shall we(the management team) send you guys for some team bonding training sessions? Whatttt?? 🙄🙄🙄

Need somebody to yell at me every evening so I get my shit together and draw something.

Practice makes perfect; rite?

Worst interview was when I attended interview for the position of PHP and the interviewer started grinding me with C++ questions starting with STLs. Could not answer most of them, interviewer said to get my act together and try again after 3 months. Nope not gonna happen!

Oracle, please get your crap together.

If you really wanted to make an amazing replacement for Java swing, you could have made the scene builder application for javafx not crash every 15 minutes on macOS. Seriously. I can't go more than a half hour without it freezing up and/or having the window disappear, never to open again. I get that it's a complicated program, but it's 10 YEARS OLD. It should have been stable by now.

Finding fragile balance between “we need to create a programming language to solve this task elegantly and efficiently” and “yo dawg here’s some php, go get that shit together”

So. Here's a cooking thread.

Please behave nicely, get ya favorite recipes out or your "my brain is melting and I randomly chop sueyed hot cooked this stuff together and it was awesome" creations.

Stop commenting out code blocks!

Either fix your shit or delete it.

I am open to argue what fixing may mean, as it is perfectly fine to make your broken code not reachable, e.g. via feature flags or skipping certain tests. Yet never ever should you comment those blocks!

So you say you want to keep it for historic reasons? You know, that is why we use version control! If you ever need certain functionality back, you can restore that state.

Each decent IDE also offers a local history where you can even restore code blocks that weren't even pushed or committed. So use that!

Commenting out test cases is a really bad habit, as you have no reminder that you shall restore it.

And no, a TODO and a FIXME won't count as a reminder as you have to actively look for them. And we all know how well that goes, don't we? (One time, I found a typo of a `TDO`. So even with a regular lookup for TODO, stuff will slip.)

Each test suite offers you ways to skip tests if there are valid reasons why they should not fail the build temporary and they offer colorful feedback. Yes, that means that your tests won't be green, but guess what: That's a feature! They shouldn't be.

That yellow is a fine reminder, aka warning!, that you should really fix your shit.

Commented code screams: "I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING!" and it confuses the hell out of other developers ("Was this commented because of debugging purposes and should be active again or can I safely delete this!?") and adds verbose crap to the code base.

If you find yourself to be in a place that you comment code a lot, I also argue that your workflow is broken.

When you are using a decent debugger, there shouldn't that much of a need to comment in and out a lot of code in order to reason about your code-base.

I don’t hate the Pixel. I don’t have the iPhone. Why? Because both the software and hardware together are made by the same company.

They’re worth as much as these companies want to price them. Then you get Samsung charging nearly as much.

I've got a mate at my current work. Most of what we do is insult each other, but there's a real respect there. We were both in similar positions in the company, where we were overworked, underpaid, undervalued and pretty unhappy. He was so helpful when it came to traversing the politics of the company, and how to work out what to do. Plus we get really drunk together all the time. I'm leaving my present company in a few weeks and I'll probably miss having him around the most.

F*ck Apple. WatchOs 4 is a downgrade! On first apple watch the system runs half the speed. The music app is now shit, because I can only play music downloaded on the 2gb apple watch. Seriously wtf? Maybe I have more music than 2gb. There new design of the app slowed the app down to 15 fps...
The story watch face is complete crap it shows all the time only "Good morning, name".

The worst is I can't go back to the watchOS 3 which was so many times better...

And you still have this bug that pisses me off since watch OS 1 you can hear every sounds coming from your watch with your Bluetooth headphones, but not calls.
You have to hear the call with the apple watch speakers when you don't want to buy airpods.
In other words the function is useless.
And it's one of the most important.

Pls apple why has every watchOS update have to be an downgrade...

And I don't have any chance to get off of this version unlike with iOS.

Nothing makes me not want to take a full-time job at your company more than having to go through IT tickets every quarter year when my password expires to actually change my password. Why have a fucking self-service portal for employees if logging in with an expired password doesn't work and the reset password link tells me that I need to log in to enroll with security questions (???). It feels like these websites are glued together with sticks and spit and there's a million of them each sporting one specific purpose! I have to go through this shit multiple times since I'm an intern and I didn't have access to my account through the course of the semester. Get your fucking shit together!

Yesterday I had to register my new credit card with a national payment app (MobilePay) and it kept giving me error 32, which says "a technical error happened please try again"... Real fucking useful u peace of shit app 😠

Turns out, after a bit of research, that it will sometime crash if you language is not set to a european language. Guess what? I had mine set to English... English (US)... 😧

Like, what the fuck is that? Why would you check if a person might be from EU, be checking the language setting?
Get your shit together 😑

Spotify you little shithead how often do I have to reset the random mode for you to finally play stuff at random and not loop the same 20 songs? WTF? you literraly have like 1k of them in this list and you loop 20! HOW AND WHY <.< i even pay for you. Get it together.

Anyone else feeling murderous mood today for no reason? I'm not even at work yet...

I'm sick of a toxic soup of ways to test frontend.

Throw in vitest, jest,jsdom, testing library, @testing-library/jest-dom, together and you are left with n^2 ways things can be configured.

Why on earth do I need to import anything to do with Jest when I am working with a vitest project.

I think such tools are made to get invite opportunities to speak at conferences.

Can someone kick some fcking concentration and motivation into me.

I havent been able to work for 3 weeks and I missed 2 deadlines. I got tension headaches and everytime I try to work I'm hitting a mental block. Get your shit together so I can take a holiday. Thank you brain.

Fuck off OneDriveSetup.exe, nobody asked you to install anything. This "i7" is only dual-core, and I need both of them to run my code, kthx.

I don't think I've seen this nexus model before... Good job Google!

So AMD is introducing new CPUs with NPUs, aka Ryzen AI, for inferencing, but only for some of the lineup, making Ryzen AI even less relevant.

Not to mention that AMD comes up with new HW that nobody knows how to use, that no SW exists for, and...

Oh, wait. Making AI capable HW while completely failing on the SW side. Now it makes sense. It's just AMD being AMD.

Hold a meeting that the participants actually want.

The biggest time wasters I had to attend were:
- "generic weekly meet up of people not working together telling what's new on their side" (I don't work with you, I DON'T CARE)
- "management wants updates/wants to talk about doing instead of letting us do" (go read Jira tickets, and ffs stay out of the experts' field... They're experts in it for a reason)
- "no agenda, this is just to get to know each other" (I get to know people on my own terms, stop forcing what can't be forced)
- most Scrum meetings (some people need guidance, I don't! Your Scrum chains actually hinder my productivity! Can we please stop wasting my time and nerves?)

And the best meetings? A couple of coworkers realizing "hey we need to make a decision here, let's book a conference room together" and "hey you know your stuff about xyz, can you teach us what you know?".

When the release manager can't get their numbers shit together... And holds up everyone's night

Seriously Windows 10, get your shit together. No less than 10 blue screens within an hour.

I'm developing a web app, which is purely based on some commercial .NET driven API. The documentation is a 12 page MS Word file with incorrect parameters and non-existing endpoints. I think there's also a cronjob which purposely crashes their server every 15minutes. I just love getting client emails saying I need to fix my app and get my shit together.

ah yes, the usual family get-together: my grandma's throwing heavy shit with intent to kill, my sister is violently crying in a corner and refuses to move to safety, and my dad's shut down in a chair somewhere in the house. Just like every Christmas. And Thanksgiving. And Halloween. And every other large holiday.

Surprised I made it to 19.

My boss is the king of creating ambiguous/generic trello cards and misinterpreting obvious client emails.

What the fuck man? Get your shit together!!

Finally end of the week. All that is left is a little polishing over the weekend for Monday release. Like get the lastest code from all the developers, put it together and hope it somehow works and fix whatever doesn't :-/

WHY!
Email was invented a gazillion years ago and it's still a shiit experience to setup on linux. Just give me ONE complete package!!
nooo i need to get postfix, dovecot, spamassassain mailscanner, antivirus, opendmarc, opendkim, dovecot-managesieve dovecot-sieve, roundcube, database, webserver and then i still have to configure everything and setup certs, spf, dnssec, dkimkeys on the domains, domains, mailboxes, deny weak certs etc.

I know the whole do one thing and do that one thing well but how about you just be a mailserver and do that ONE thing well without me needing to putting all of the puzzle pieces together myself! I don't want to waste time setting all this shit up. and don't even get me started on symantec and live.com and their blocking!

So my phone got stolen last night. FOR FUCK SAKE. I scrape together enough money to get another cheap phone after the last one broke, and now I need YET ANOTHER ONE WHEN I HAVEN'T GOT A JOB AND CAN'T APPLY FOR ONE WITHOUT ARGRFHUJGHIOSDJGBH:USKDGHISD:

My whole class. They aren't that good with computers and they ask obvious questions but they get better every day and we really grew together in the past year.

Get your shit together Microsoft..