Do all the things like ++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatarSign Up
Get a devDuck
Rubber duck debugging has never been so cute! Get your favorite coding language devDuckBuy Now
Search - "hmmm."
I fucking love my parents.
Came to visit them again and told them that I might buy an iPhone in the future (I fucking hate apple/i-devices and they know that).
Mom: "You are going to WHAT? Are you okay, son?"
Dad: *walks towards me and puts hand on forehead* "Hmmm, doesn't seem to be that warm. Maybe we should visit a psychiatrist soon."
Me: 😂. mom, dad, I fucking love you.56
If restaurants functioned like Microsoft:
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.
Patron: No, it's still there.
Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.
Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer;what has that to do with the fly in my soup?!
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??
Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.
Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now? Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.
Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now.
[waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check]
Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.
Patron: This is potato soup.
Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.
Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.
Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!
Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . . . . . . . $2.50
Access to support . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $1.0011
(sensitive parts censored)
Friend: Hey, can you hack my (some website) account?
Me: Depends... What's your username?
Friend: (tells username)
Me: (clicks forgot password?)
Friend: I will give $10 if you do it. There is 2 factor authentication enabled.
Me: (silence) Ok.
Website: Please type the class number you were in in 4th grade.
Me: Hey, did you graduated BLAH elementary school?
Me: Ahh, I remember. You moved to BLAH elementary school in what grade?
Me: Hmmm, I don't remember seeing you. What class were you in?
Me: Well, I now remember. Stupid me. (smirks)
Friend: Haha. (continues to play games beside me)
Me: (Types in 8)
Website: We sent you a password to email@example.com
Me: (uhh, heads to example.com and clicks forget password?)
Email: Please type the class number you were in in 4th grade.
Me: (wtf is this, types 8)
Email: Please type the teacher's name when you were in in 4th grade.
Me: What was the teacher's name?
Me: When you were in 4th grade.
Friend: Ahh! John Smith.
Me: Ahh, he was strict, right?
Friend: Yeah (continues to play games again)
Me: (Types in John Smith)
Email: Set a new password.
Me: (Types "youaresostupid")
Me: (copies PLAIN TEXT password from email, logs in to website)
Me: Money plz~
Me: (wtf, then remembers i changed his email password) Fine then.
1. There is 2 factor authentication enabled. : Got it?
2. The website sent plaintext password.
3. He is just pure idiot.
4. I didn't got the money.
5. I am now a h4x0r11
WHATTT?!! I need 10 WHOLE POINTS JUST TO BUILD AN AVATAR!!! What kind of person would set such a high amount of points just to CREATE AN AVATAR! Do you know how hard that is for an introvert... ugg What kind of post should I rant about? I could rant about that one problem with HTML <divs>.. but then everyone would laugh at how simple that was... I could rant about how long I have had to live without this app. No no that would be way to big of a rant... hmmm. OH I KNOW!37
A friend of mine: Look at this nice app I made 😎
*shows me a normal looking app with tabs and different views"
Me: Hmmm… looks good.
Friend: Do you know how I made the navigation between views? 😏
Me: I'm afraid to ask…
Friend: Since I didn't know how to use the piece of code I found on internet, I made multiple views one above another with visibility set to false, and during the navigation I just change the visibility. 😁
Me: WTF? Man… this isn't something you should be proud of… it shouldn't be done.
Friend: Do you also want to know how I backup the code?
Friend: I send it to myself via email.
Friend: I also never use while loops, I prefer to use for instead with a break inside. 😊
HR people working in tech companies, let's talk about them...
*phone rings and I pick up*
HR Lady: Hi, this is [name] from [company]. I'm calling you regarding your application you submitted [some date 2 months ago!].
Me: *realizing that I've applied 2 freaking months ago* Hmmm OK....
HR Lady: Yes, well, we asked for your GitHub account, but you seem to have forgotten to provide it.
Me: *open up the email and see that I've sent them my GitLab account* Well, I have the email right here and I did send you a git account. I mean, it's not GitHub specifically but it's a GitLab account, pretty much the same thing, you should be good with that.
HR Lady: OK, let me put you on hold for a minute.
*2-3 minutes passes*
HR Lady: Hi sir, I've asked my colleague [which I suppose is another HR] and he told me that they're not the same thing, we cannot proceed until you give us the right link, you need to send us a link to your GitHub account.
Me: I mean, they aren't the SAME EXACT thing, but both companies provide essentially the same service, it's like Messenger and WhatsApp. Look, I'm pretty sure that if you give this to another programmer they'll be fine.
HR Lady: No, Messenger and WhatsApp aren't the same thing. Sir, please stay polite. We need a GitHub account not a GitLab account.
Me: *mumbling* Oh boy.... M'am, it's OK, I don't need the job anyway, I've found something. Two months is a long time and I needed something quickly. Thank you, have a good day.6
"Today I won't code, I'll just play some games or watch TV and relax!"
"Hmmm... I'll just fix this one small thing here... shouldn't take long. And then its time for some gaming!"
* 3 hours later *
Still coding, wtf is wrong with me6
Was at a friends place recently and he asked me to set a new WiFi password. Fair enough!
Me: what's the routers login?
He: Oo. No clue.
*me trying a few combinations*
*hmmm not working let's try one more time*
Router: you have entered the wrong credentials five times. Fill in a new password to regain access!
Not my mom, but my wife's whole family. I'm a software developer.
So we're invited to her grandmother's 85th birthday celebration with pretty much every family member they could think to invite. 100+ people, and we all sit down in a circle in a huge room to watch a video that my wife's father and aunts/uncles put together.
They start the video and there's no sound. I'm a software developer, so I'm not an expert in hardware issues. I try to turn invisible, because every tech person knows what comes next, and this is in the center of a room of people I don't know.
After about 15 minutes of people struggling to get the audio working, one of the people remembers I "work with computer". Soon I have a dozen people calling me to the center of the room.
I begrudgingly make my way to the computer and projector. Upon inspection, I find that the computer is connected via VGA to the projector.
Me: "This cable only carries video. You need a different kind of cable, or you can hook up an AUX cable--the kind you use for headphones."
Other Guy: "I used this cable earlier and the audio was working."
Me: "...that's weird. Well, can we try plugging in an AUX cable?"
Yet Another Guy: "Will this help?" Holds up an HDMI cable
Me: "Oh, yeah! That should do it."
Other Guy: "I tried plugging that in, but it didn't change anything."
Me: "Hmmm..." Quickly unplug VGA and plug in HDMI, then click play.
The sound comes out in its full cheesy music glory. Everybody cheers, and I walk back to my seat. Throughout the rest of party, I'm approached by various other family members who ask me if I can fix X since I'm a "computer guy". Isn't it great to work in tech?12
Collegue: hrrrrrrrrrrrrr *mumbles something*
Me: Rawrrrrrrrrr (the sexual'ish kind)
Collegue: Hmmm what?
Me: Miaaaaaaauwwwww 😏😉
Collegue: Duuuus.... (English something like "sooo...."
Me: x x x x ("kisses") 😏 *😘*
(I know I can do this with him for the record)22
Co-worker: Hey man, what's up with your code?
Me: What do you mean bro?
Co-worker: It's generic man...
Me: Isn't it supposed to be like that?
Me: ... so what's this about?
Co-worker: hmmm... Mine is kinda specific, do you mind changing it so that it can work well with mine??
Me: That's why I made it generic though
Co-worker: yeah I see that and I dnt want mine to be and we have a deadline tomorrow. I already pushed mine to develop so, happy fun-time while modifying your code to accommodate mine...
*in a chat with a fellow devRanter who is aiming more and more towards privacy things*
*hmmm shall i tell him about my Firefox privacy addons... *
*nahh let's not get too intrusive*
3 minutes later
Him: hey bro, what Firefox addons do you have?
A : What you do for living ?
B : I'm a Software Engineer
A : Hmmm what ?
B : I do IT
A : Ohh, so you do IT. Cool
Co-worker: "Should we keep this server up and running?"
C: "Do we have any other uses for it than the dedicated wiki?"
M: "Not really, and maybe it's time to move to the centralised platform Corporate™ introduced. Have we checked if anyone is using the server?"
C: "Good point, let me see…"
C: "… oh it's been down for last two weeks since the power outage."
M: "I think that answers the question. Let's leave it like this for a month more and if no one complains we can announce it dead"3
When doing first level support....
[windows desktop software]
Me: How can I help you?
Client: I installed the latest update from your website yesterday, but the version number hasn't changed
Me: You downloaded version *** ?
Me: And you installed it?
Me: Did you get an error message during the installation?
Client: No, everything worked fine, no errors
Me: And the installation process was completed?
Client: I think so
Me: Hmmm... Lets try it again. I will assist you.
Me: Start your browser and open the website.
Client: ..... did it
Me: Good. Now click on the link to the download page.
Client: .... did it
Me: Do you see the the update package at the top of the list?
Me: Ok. Now click on it.
Friend: Hi! Can you create a car rental website for me?
Me: hmmm... yeah, we need to define some..
Friend: I will pay you in beer! 😉
Me: We need to define how you want to die.
Why some people try to ignore the fact that programming is a fucking job?7
Worst disturbance while working?
Some of my faves:
- Mgr flying his new $400 drone around the office (hitting walls, ceiling, etc). I mentioned the price because he crashed it a week later (un-repairable kind of crash), so I didn't feel too sorry for his loss.
- Mgr trying out his new blowgun and blowing darts at a cardboard box down/bewtween the cube hallway (where anyone could walk out of at any time). We would hear the "pfffft" and a loud 'Yea!'.
- Mgr would walk by a cube entry-way, fart, and walk away laughing.
- Mgr called me into area and his desk+the floor area around his desk was covered in peanut shells.
Me: "Wow, you got a mess here."
Mgr: "Yea, got tired of trying to hit the trash can. Maintenance will vacuum the office this weekend."
The mess was one thing, but what disturbed me the most was this asshole thinks Maintenance-Jim has nothing better to do than clean up after this so-called adult.
Karma kicked in and an hour later the owner's wife (we're still a family owned company, so he+his wife are on friendly basis with everyone) stopped by to say hi and walked in on the mess.
June: "What do we have here!?"
Mgr: "Oh...um...uh..I was eating a few peanuts and putting the shells in the trash can and accidentally knocked it over. I was on my way to get the vacuum cleaner."
June: "Hmmm...this looks like more than a few. *You* clean it up right now and *never* let me see this again!"
Mgr: "Yes..yes ma'am...right now.."
Whole office heard the exchange and it was frickin' awesome.12
Hmmm my teacher is running sniffer on school network.
I will be a bad boy and i will start to send huge photos of something.
His SSD will be full in no time.12
My whole team was a circus:
- Dev 1, the senior: he will be spent his days coding his personal projects and will convince management that everyone else needed to prove themselves so he will have nothing to do and we will do all the work.
- Dev 2, the junior: he was convinced that his mission in life was to be friends with his team. He's desk was far from the rest of the team so he will show just right after lunch EVERY FREAKING DAY with a list on his phone of random things he wanted to talk about like music, artists, art, news, etc., he really thought I didn't notice the list.
- Dev 3: the vegan: you will hear on every chance how she was so awesome for being vegan.
- Dev 4, the expert: if you ask him anything he will stare at you in silence to make you feel like you are a stupid for not knowing the answer and then turn around like nothing.
- Dev 5, the ghost: he will show early every day, code without mouthing a word and leave at 5pm, I think I heard him saying "hmmm" once but I might be wrong.
- Dev 6, the coder by accident: he was a graphic designer and ended up doing front end so he hated his job.
- Dev 7, me: the one who didn't care about anything but doing his job and leave.
- The project manager: she didn't knew anything about technology but will attend meetings with clients on her own, commit to deadlines and then inform us that the project that we estimated for 8 weeks will have to be done in 2 with new additions to the features.
You know the drill, here's your potato :/7
Spend half the day setting up a dedicated server at work (including getting all the hardware together) and installing CentOS and tweaking around.
For a client? Oh no, there just literally wasn't anything else to do and I didn't want to sit around doing nothing or working on shell scripts AGAIN. (working in support (+ linux server management) and due to the holidays hardly any support requests come in)
*Hmmm, lets install nginx for fun*
"yum install ngi..."
*wait, let's compile from source and make it more fun!*
So yeah, that was my day, I guess.5
Worst thing you've seen another dev do? So many things. Here is one...
Lead web developer had in the root of their web application config.txt (ex. http://OurPublicSite/config.txt) that contained passwords because they felt the web.config was not secure enough. Any/all applications off of the root could access the file to retrieve their credentials (sql server logins, network share passwords, etc)
When I pointed out the security flaw, the developer accused me of 'hacking' the site.
I get called into the vice-president's office which he was 'deeply concerned' about my ethical behavior and if we needed to make any personnel adjustments (grown-up speak for "Do I need to fire you over this?")
Me:"I didn't hack anything. You can navigate directly to the text file using any browser."
Dev: "Directory browsing is denied on the root folder, so you hacked something to get there."
Me: "No, I knew the name of the file so I was able to access it just like any other file."
Dev: "That is only because you have admin permissions. Normal people wouldn't have access"
Me: "I could access it from my home computer"
Dev:"BECAUSE YOU HAVE ADMIN PERMISSIONS!"
Me: "On my personal laptop where I never had to login?"
VP: "What? You mean ...no....please tell me I heard that wrong."
Dev: "No..no...its secure....no one can access that file."
VP: "Hmmm...I can see the system administration password right here. This is unacceptable."
Dev: "Only because your an admin too."
VP: "I'll head home over lunch and try this out on my laptop...oh wait...I left it on...I can remote into it from here"
VP: "OMG...there it is. That account has access to everything."
<in an almost panic>
Dev: "Only because it's you...you are an admin...that's what I'm trying to say."
Me: "That is not how our public web site works."
VP: "Thank you, but Adam and I need to discuss the next course of action. You two may go."
<Adam is her boss>
Not even 5 minutes later a company wide email was sent from Adam..
"I would like to thank <Dev> for finding and fixing the security flaw that was exposed on our site. She did a great job in securing our customer data and a great asset to our team. If you see <Dev> in the hallway, be sure to give her a big thank you!"
The "fix"? She moved the text file from the root to the bin directory, where technically, the file was no longer publicly visible.
That 'pattern' was used heavily until she was promoted to upper management and the younger webdev bucks (and does) felt storing admin-level passwords was unethical and found more secure ways to authenticate.7
- Hmmm, react is not as difficult as I thought. Good tool, let's use it.
- Hmmm, Vue is amazing, let's use this instead, much easier.
- Hmmm, Angular 4 is out, let's retire to a deserted island and sell coconut water for a living.10
Experience that made me feel like a dev badass?
Users requested the ability to 'send' information from one application to another. Couple of our senior devs started out saying it would be impossible (there is no way to pass objects across a machine's memory boundary), then entertained the idea of utilizing the various messaging frameworks such as Microsoft's ServiceBus and RabbitMQ, but came up with a plan to use 2 WebAPI services (one messenger, one receiver) along with a homegrown messaging API (the clients would 'poll' the services looking for message) because ServiceBus, RabbitMQ, etc might not be able to scale to our needs. Their initial estimates were about 6 months development for the two services, hardware requirement for two servers, MSSQL server licenses, and padded an additional 6 months for client modifications. Very...very proud of their detailed planning.
I thought ...hmmm...I've done memory maps and created simple TCP/IP hosts that could send messages back and forth between other apps (non-UI), WPF couldn't be that much different.
In an afternoon, I came up with this (see attached), and showed the boss. Guess which solution we're going with.
The two devs are still kinda pissed at me. One still likes say as I walk in the room "our hero returns"....frack him.11
B "Do this work (basically a document parser) "
A "Done using regexp"
B "The data coming in is different now"
A "ok, updated the regexp parts to account for this"
B "hmm, I you should rewrite it using library tool coworker made"
A "eeer ok, redone all the work now but it's a little hacky"
B "oh, library tool isn't flexible enough. Hmmm maybe use regexp?"
A - literally dead4
You can work from anywhere... anywhere in the world!
Hmmm... Yeah, right! But not when management likes warm bodies at the office.
I hate, hate, absolutely HATE having to travel to work, spending at least 45min to an hour in traffic just to get to work! 😤😡 And then rinse and repeat to get home... which means I'm up at 5:30 every morning to be at work by 7:30, only to get home past 18:00 - traffic permitting! *sigh* 😩12
So this is going to be one hell of a FUCKING rant.
Just heard from a friend (doing the same exams I passed, it was going to happen in two groups and he was in the second) that he failed the first out of three phases. And why?
I NEARLY FUCKING FAILED THE FIRST FUCKING PHASE. I GOT A FAIR CHANCE TO MAKE IT RIGHT AND I TOOK THAT CHANCE.
MY FRIEND MADE THE SAME MISTAKE. HE MISSED A FUCKING DOCUMENT AND ASKED FOR OVERTIME, WHICH HE GOT AND THEN HE ASKED THE EXAMINOR VERY NICELY IF HE COULD TELL HIM WHAT DOCUMENT HE MISSED (for the record, it was bad documentation and it was not clear that it had to be a seperate document) AND WHAT DID THAT FATHERFUCKING COCKSUCKER SAY?
Hmm hmm hmmm.... nope, that's your responsibillity
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? HE HELPED ME BUT NOT HIM? I KNOW YOU LIKE ME MORE THAN HIM BUT IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING REASON TO LET HIM FUCKING FAIL?!?!?!?
I AM MOTHERFUCKING FUCKITY FUCKING FURIOUS.9
Me reviewing some high school level exams after an Excel course.
"hmmm the next question is 'what does the symbol $ mean when found inside a FORMULA in Excel' ... Let's see what they answered..."
* "it's the symbol for DOLLARS" <-- well, he tried
* "I don't know" <-- mmh ok, he doesn't know
* "it can be either a plus or a minus" <-- mmmh maybe the interpreter will just figure out the correct one
* "it's used to keep an index fixed when you copy/drag the formula" <-- nice, someone who actually followed the lesson or at least knows how to google things when the teacher doesn't see
* "it's the symbol for POUNDS" <-- WTF!! Wait a moment: POUNDS???? Have you ever lived a single moment in this world?
A story before the start of another week,
So last Friday, one of the business guy came over and asked a rather peculiar request, the conversation went like this,
"" -> business guy
// -> me/colleague
"Can you export the code from the repo?"
//uhh, sorry, what?
"Yeah, can you export, the code, from the repo? The latest one?"
//as in the code? You're asking for the source code?
"Yep, that's the one"
//oookay..., what is the purpose of that? What are you going to do with it?
"Nothing, just so that we have it"
//well, we do have it, stored securely in the repo
"Yeah but we need the code, as, you know, physically? not the one in the repo, we want to kinda have another copy for ourselves, just put it in a zip or something"
//again, we already have it stored in the repo, what do you need another copy for?
"Ahhh, you know, just that we know that we have some kind of proof of the state of the progress... of the feature (insert hand gesture) that we're working on, so that we know that we have reached... this... far, or something like that"
//that's what the versions are for, we can always rollback to whichever... past... state (insert hand gesture) that we have done and/or doing, everything is there in the repo,
"Uhhh, it's not much about versions or anything really..."
"You know, we need like a... documentation of some kind, for ourselves"
//so the code you're asking would be obsolete immediately, there're new changes everyday,
//it's better if you request an access for the repo and refer to a specific version from there if you want to document it,
//we can't compare the copy of the code if something went "not as you would have liked it",
//the documentation would be confusing as the code it's referring to is not the correct source of truth
"Hmmm, yeah, requesting repo access would require a some kind of a strong reason to be approved, besides it's gonna take a while, and it's not about comparing really, its just..., so that we have a copy of the code for our own... documentation"
//(I smell bs) well the argument stands, the code is going nowhere, it's there in the repo, if you would like a copy, request an access for the repo, and you can read/copy/document it all you like from there,
*then it goes for 20 more minutes of roundabout pleas about "documentations" and "having a copy of the code" with other colleagues before the guy gave up and went to think about requesting repo access,
In the rules, repo access is restricted for developer only, except for those with good and acceptable reason can have one, and requesting an access requires some strong reasoning and quite a lengthy procedure for non developer,
Until today, I still can't figure out the context/motive behind the request 🙃
Probably some bs they tried to pull, again,11
Distraction..........hmmm..........What is that?..........I'm sure I've heard that somewhere..........well..........Let me Google it!
And here we go again..........3
Manager: this is your first day in your first job right?
Me: yes mam!
Mngr: Good .. here take this system understand it and read all of the source codes.
Me: hmmm Umm ok ... where's the documentation?
Mngr: no documentations ... the contractor left without providing the documents for it so we need you to understand everything ... as we have alot of enhancements lined up for it ... and we're too cheap to hire someone with advanced knowledge on this ... goodluck!
Spectrum Dev: Hmmm.. what should I use for an error code...
Another Dev: The hell should I know.. what's your favorite letter?6
Damn, credit cards are so fucking secure these days that you hardly can BUY shit with them!
I need some special electronics that I only can get from a vendor in the US, which is overseas. Click click, buy, done. Well no, credit card refused. WTF? Click retry link. No, still refused. FUCK.
Called up the 24/7 hotline of my CC company. Oh yeah, that got blocked by the security system, somehow. We disable that for 20 minutes, just retry. Clicked retry link at the vendor. No failure mail. Hmmm, too good to be true?! Called up the electronics vendor. Yeah should work, stuff is in the warehouse stage. 40 minutes later: credit card declined. FUCK.
Called up the CC company again. Ok, disable blocker for one hour. Nice advice from them, tell the vendor it's only 45 minutes so that there's some buffer. Clicked retry link at the vendor and called them up to make sure that they retry before the time runs out.
LO AND BEHOLD, I could finally pay the shit!!8
Other services : Please type your phone number to verify that it is you. It will be only used for verification process.
Me : Sure, why not? (Happily types in my number)
Facebook : Please type your phone number to verify that it is you.
Me : Hmmm (sees help)
Facebook : It will be used for verification process and will be visible to your friends. You can always change the scope settings.
Me : (reads as...) It will be used for verification process and will be visible to your friends and will be automatically sent to the NSA for free. You can always change the scope settings when you become the CEO of Facebook.
hmmm i was thinking hmmm finish personal project or look at devRant hmm i think you know how i decided 😂😂😂😂2
User gives me a Mac to work on, States that it “only needs Microsoft office Mac installed”
Boot up the laptop....
**Mac OS X utilities**
Hmmm, odd. Reboot.
**Mac OS X utilities**
You’ve got to be shitting me. Call user —
Her - “NO! It was working when I gave it to you, you fix it. I’m not paying to get my laptop returned broken. It was working when I gave it to you!”
Me - “I’m sorry, but it wasn’t. I literally turned it on and this is what it stated * read her the message*
Her - “I don’t believe you, you did something to my computer.”
YOU FUCK! THE FUCK I DID! YOU LITERALLY JUST HANDED ME THE GOD DAMN THING! Can I PLEASE curb stomp this bitch, please....15
hmmm im thinking what will happen if i type "rm -rf /" in ubuntu bash in windows will it deletu bash or windows if windows will be deleted then there is fast way to get rid of windows and they updates11
After completing my sprint and some lingering stuff in the backlog
Me: Hey, there's this tiny feature people have really requested, I'll go build it since I got nothing else to do at the moment. It'll only take like 1h
PO: Hmm ok. Don't work on that yet, we need to check with business people and agree on the user stories and bla bla bla
Me: Ok, well there's these bugs I can take care of then, I'll get them fixed, won't be long.
PO: Hmmm, we need to measure the impact first. Let me get back to you on that a bit later
Me: Meh, oh. I'll refactor this bad component meanwhile then.
PO: Have you created a story for that in JIRA? Create the story first and then we'll groom it and take it in when we've time
Me in my head: Dafuq! Im trying to work on your fucking project but you keep throwing all that business bueraucracy shit at me. What am I supposed to do then? Sip coffee in the kitchen and talk about the other fucking billion failed "new business opportunities" with my peers? Fuck this circle jerk of a billion management people all trying to make themselves important. Nothing. Ever. Gets. Fucking. Done!!!
Me: Ah right, I'll do that *proceeds to the water cooler*5
TLDR: Small family owned finance business woes as the “you-do-everything-now” network/sysadmin intern
Friday my boss, who is currently traveling in Vegas (hmmm), sends me an email asking me to punch a hole in our firewall so he can access our locally hosted Jira server that we use for time logging/task management.
Because of our lack of proper documentation I have to refer to my half completed network map and rely on some acrobatic cable tracing to discover that we use a SonicWall physical firewall. I then realize asking around that I don’t have access to the management interface because no one knows the password.
Using some lucky guesses and documentation I discover on a file share from four years ago, I piece together the username and password to log in only to discover that the enterprise support subscription is two years expired. The pretty and useful interface that I’m expecting has been deactivated and instead of a nice overview of firewall access rules the only thing I can access is an arcane table of network rules using abbreviated notation and five year old custom made objects representing our internal network.
An hour and a half later I have a solid understanding of SonicWallOS, its firewall rules, and our particular configuration and I’m able to direct external traffic from the right port to our internal server running Jira. I even configure a HIDS on the Jira server and throw up an iptables firewall quickly since the machine is now connected to the outside world.
After seeing how many access rules our firewall has, as a precaution I decide to run a quick nmap scan to see what our network looks like to an attacker.
The output doesn’t stop scrolling for a minute. Final count we have 38 ports wide open with a GOLDMINE of information from every web, DNS, and public server flooding my terminal. Our local domain controller has ports directly connected to the Internet. Several un-updated Windows Server 2008 machines with confidential business information have IIS 7.0 running connected directly to the internet (versions with confirmed remote code execution vulnerabilities). I’ve got my work cut out for me.
It looks like someone’s idea of allowing remote access to the office at some point was “port forward everything” instead of setting up a VPN. I learn the owners close personal friend did all their IT until 4 years ago, when the professional documentation stops. He retired and they’ve only invested in low cost students (like me!) to fill the gap. Some kid who port forwarded his home router for League at some point was like “let’s do that with production servers!”
At this point my boss emails me to see what I’ve done. I spit him back a link to use our Jira server. He sends me a reply “You haven’t logged any work in Jira, what have you been doing?”
Hmmm there are several
Senior dev would leave for weeks(he was company co owner) and would blame shit not being done on me even though he gave me no access to his codebase. Shit back fired right in his face.
Senior dev called me an idiot(different company) for stating that I learned about MVC from Rails. I have no clue what triggered that reaction, but the way he said it really ticked me off. It was on a remote position, left soon, the dude was s cunt.
Next goes for my office: we yell random shit all the time, from racist to sexist to all around disturbing because we are constantly unsupervised.
Head of department knows:P he laughs with us.
*Turns on computer*
Hmmm, must be getting that time to do a full format... Wait, my HDD is being a bit weird...
*Runs disk optimise*
- No problems detected, disk %67 fragmented
Ah huh... That would explain a lot, but how the fuck did this happen so quickly 0.o9
Client: I want a new feature for my chat bot. It should be able to rap.
Me: ... k
*monologue: wait u w0t m8*
Also me: Can you please go more into the details? It should be able to rap. Ok. But how do you want it to look like? How "strong" should be the discrimination level, for instance?
Client: It should beat ass, yo.
Inner me -> core me: Let us just ignore him. We won't be able to do it, since he isn't really explaining his needs. "It should be able to rap". We are not wizards.
Core me -> inner me: Chill. We will just use some insult apis, combine it with cleverb0t api et voila.
Me: Alright. I got an idea for it. I can do it within this week. And if you don't like it, I will ofc do some changes to it.
Client: Hmmm... that's nice and good. But within 1 week?
Inner me: I can't do magic and pull that feature out of my fucking ass!
Clients... clients... clients...
0. Don't expect us to be done in a few days. We are also humans. And not fucking machines.
1. Do us (all devs on planet earth. -Microaggression in 3, 2, 1..) a favor and (kill yourself) learn how to request a feature.2
I saw an article saying, What Programming Language Should I Learn First? 2017
What do you think, yes or no?
(And no this is not personal question, just an article I was reading 😃)29
Been away for some time. Didn't have anything to tell tbh - until today.
As you may remember I started a new apprenticeship at big (and super cool) company. We develop software for various platforms.
I'm currently working on a plugin displaying some weatherdata. This plugin is supposed to be in 2 of our products. One is pretty nice but a pain in the ass to compile. The second one is a pure WTF. It's a web app with approximately half the functionality but 5x loading time (without demo data!) of the other product.
Well, today I learned why we have this loading time. They use I don't know how much different js frameworks and libraries for every single simple task. "It's easy and Facebook does it too. Besides that why are there frameworks if you could do it native?" HMMM LET ME GUESS BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE ARE FUCKING LAZY!?
Why do you need MULTIPLE frameworks for a simple web display!?3
Was just thinking of building a command line tool's to ease development of some of my games assets (Just packing them all together) and seeing as I want to use gamemaker studio 2 thought that my obsession with JSON would be perfect for use with it's ds_map functions so lets start understanding the backend of these functions to tie them with my CL tool...
Oh this might be helpful, easily save a data structure with decent encryption...
*Looks at saved output and starts noticing some patterns*
Hmm, this looks kinda familiar... Hmmm using UTF-8, always ends with =, seems to always have 8 random numbers at the start.. almost like padding... Wait... this is just base64!
Now yoyogames, I understand encryption can be hard but calling base64 'secure' is like me flopping my knob on the table and calling it a subtle flirt...6
me: hey prof, i dont know why this is wrong
*points out where its wrong*
prof: hmmm let me see
prof: u see its wrong here. thats why it doesnt work
*points at the exact same thing i pointed out*2
Me: I fucking hate people using proprietary data formats when there is something more than capable already...
Also me: *Spends an hour designing file structure for a proprietary image format* Hmmm... How can we trim even more bytes off this...
(Designing the format to be smaller than a typical PNG and make it easier to load in data programatically)9
Client: The image upload functionality is broken!!
Me: just tested it, works fine.
Client: no I'm trying to upload this image and it says It cannot complete the request.
Client: does the fact that the image is 36MB has something to do with it?
When you face the dilemma of wanting to share devRant with your friends but face giving up your anonymity....also, what if you forget you ranted about them and they find out? Hmmm.....4
Writing some algorithm:
me: *codes for half an hour*
"hmm... isn't working... wait wtf this isn't right..."
me: *codes for an hour again*
"still not working hmmm... wait what no this isn't supposed to work..."
me: *codes for a few hours*
"still not working God damnit.... it's supposed to work now..."
me after another few hours: MOTHERFUCKER CAN YOU START FCKING WORKING FUUUUUUUUUUU1
TLDR: Find a website that requires a subscription but doesn't check their cookies' integrity, now I'm on a website for free.
>wonder if it's possible to intercept browser data
>find that none of these really fit me
>go to youtube, search how to intercept POST data
>find something called BurpSuite
>Totally what I was looking for
>start testing BurpSuite on devrant
>I can see all the data that's being passed around
>wonder if I can use it on a website where my subscription recently ended.
>try changing my details without actually inputting anything into the website's form
>send the data to the server
>refresh the page
>Huh what's this?
>must be a userID
>increment it by 1 and change some more details
>refresh the page
>didn't work 😐
>Hmmm, let's try forwarding the data to the browser after incrementing the uid
>can see the details of a different user
>except I see his details are the details I had entered previously
>begin incrementing and decrementing the uid
>realize that the uid is hooked up to my browsers local cookie
>can see every user's details just by changing my cookie's uid
>Wonder if it's possible to make the uid persistent without having to enter it in every time
>look up cookie manipulator
>go back to website
>examine current uid
>it's my uid
>change it to a different number
>refresh the webpage
>IT FUCKING WORKED
>MFW I realize this website doesn't check for cookie integrity
>MFW I wonder if there are other websites that are this fucking lazy!!!
>MFW they won't fix it because it would require extra work.
>MFuckingFW they tell me not to do it again in the future
>realize that since they aren't going to fix it I'll just put myself on another person's subscription.5
Yesterday while we finished having breakfast, the receptionist from the office approached us and said: "Guys, the company mail does not work! We lost the domain! They forgot to pay the bill!" and we all see each other's faces confused.
I don't like to link the work email on my personal phone, so I open the company's page on the phone and for some reason a DNS error appears. oh boy!
We all go crazy ass to the computers to see the mail and we can use it normally, my computer opens the company page normal, we send emails between us and everything works well…
I ask the receptionist if the test emails arrive and she says "No, I cannot even open the mail". (hmmm) I go to see what happens and she says "Look!" I see a label on the login page: "your password was changed 16 hours ago" (facepalm) I ask her if she have changed the password and she say NO. So I ask the support guy if he can reset her password and that's it. Magic, magic!
In the end we remember that not all of us have the same "computer knowledge" and discovered that the company's website only works if you enter “www”, very good custom software company! Very good!3
Arrr now I have to create a fucking post to get 10 point or whatever to create an avatar 😤. I love just reading others rant..., 😌hmmm... There should be a way around this 😈.. 💺📱💻2
Boss: Happy Friday!!!!!!
Boss: okay with that out the way get to fuckin work...
Me: John(Boss’s name).....
Me: I hate you, happy Friday4
Hmmm, this feature that I added seems to make the whole process 50% longer. I need to optimize something. Let's see now...
Yeah, make that a shared resource and parallelize IO to leverage the multi-core architecture. Hash map for this, binary tree for that. This thing that gets called a million times can be written easily without a regexp. That thing can be rewritten in Rust as it's too demanding.
There! Works! And it's also a lot cleaner. Nice!
How's the performance doing? 70% longer.11
Wtffff ? I ported cm13.0 to my phone. Wifi isnt working. Well ok. After 2 weeks of wtf is going on. We always get Bad address error when trying to load the module. Well ok. Today i tried to load another module. Bad address. Hmmm not even wifi releated module. Ok i tried all of them. All of them bad address. Ok i would understand that but 2 modules were loaded at boot: tun, bnep. Well i tried to insmod them without removing them. Bad address (lets just call it BA). Removed them. BA. Wtfffffffffff ?????????????????????????
I dont understand this shit. How can you load modules at boot time somewhere very soon and you cant load wifi at boot ????? Wtf ???4
Hmmmmmm i just got offered a position for a php developer........but something that was not listed in the original application was that it is expected of one to work with wordpress. My wordpress experience is limited to creating simple themes.
I don't like cms systems also. But the position pays really good.
What to do what to do hmmm10
Junior dev: Can I run lint on your codebase
Senior dev: hmmm
Jdev: Its a very nice code inspection tool
Sdev: Go ahead
Jdev: wow 50 errors
Hmmm...maybe when applying for a Java developer role, and then being asked “what would you like to learn at this company?”...I think saying “Java” isn’t the right thing to say 😅1
So I promised myself some down time this weekend since I usually end up working all night and in a blink my weekend is over. I also declined going out for better 'relaxation'. Here's how it's going so far...
>Gets home. Hmmm what should I do I can do anything! *thinking*
>Pours a stiff whiskey
>Trys watching something as well as playing a game, gets bored of each and abandons them.
>Opens a dev newsletter
>Realizes I'm elbow deep in some repo... starting to feel inspired.
>Decides to code something "fun"
>Uses "Well as long as I'm not *working*" to justify his addiction.
I'm really not sure what I did for fun before I started coding. It ruined things by being so damn enjoyable and ultimatley many other things became well... less fun.
This is what addiction looks like.2
[random article] - interesting TITLE.
checks scroll bar - not much
hmm seems forever that i'm reading.
something's not right
chek m**F8d8fd , it loading a freaking 3000 words article with ajax.3
Steam Summer sale.
Lets see how much great games i can buy with 10$.
Hmmm Deus ex man kind divided 4.49$
Steam link 2.50$ (WTFFFFF???)
And hacknet just to make it 9.99$.
Worth every single penny.11
*Having issues with chrome using %20 of the CPU on linux, decides to google and see if anyone else is having the same issue*
Hmmm, this looks like it should be useful
Oh look, all 40 replies are people complaining that the poster is using Chrome in the first place and telling them to just move to firefox, vivaldi, opera or any other browser... Thanks guys, real fucking helpful!11
My phone fell down for the thousandth time and i thought it was okay as it usually has been in previous attempts at suicide.
Pressed power button ...
Screen turned on showing lock screen...
Touched back key .... phone vibrated....
Hmmm... It's okay. Didn't try unlocking screen...
Received a call later on....
Swiped to pick up call.... Nothing moved...
Turned the screen off. Turned it on again. Tried opening screen lock. Again nothing moved...
Got an OTG and plugged a mouse into phone.
Alas... My Phone's Touch Unit is DEAD :/7
*needs to repartition disks
*is mounted, need live usb
*download and burn gparted live, ≈20min
*reboot, usb not bootable
*try again, maybe it's corrupt...
* nope it just won't boot
*download and burn puppy Linux ≈20min
*e2fsck failed: get a newer version of e2fsck
*already the latest version
*hmmm, maybe if I build it myself
*download and burn Debian live ≈40min
*try to install gparted
*can't get WiFi drivers working
*download and burn Ubuntu
*opens gparted (already installed)
*partitions disk, leaves to complete overnight (it will have to move ≈60GiB)
*comes back in morning
*computer went to sleep after 10 mins
*late to work but oh well I at least got it done3
The company hired a Senior Project Manager (SPM) and two months in we had the following conversation:
SPM: Hey, go talk to the project stakeholders and get the requirements for the project.
Me: Uhm, isn't the PM supposed to go and gather the requirements?
SPM: I'll go check with the stakeholders. We don't have a PM :)
Me: You are the SPM... Which is the same thing?
SPM: hmmm... I'll go ask them and get back to you.
GFG, you've been here for two months, are supposed to be a senior with many years under your belt as a PM and yet know nothing about your job. You don't even know that you're a PM.
Me: ok let's actually start work on a project when I get home. Something small that I can finish, bin and be happy with, just need to clone my assets repo...
*Types command, nothing happens*
Hmmm that's strange, opens router config and sees it syncing at 0Mbps
*Mad World starts playing*1
Me: I have so much to do! How the hell am I going to get all this done?!
**hears someone say something about some framework/library I don't know**
Me: hmmm let me google that real quick then I'll get back to work...
**3 hours later**
Me: damnit! I'm never going to get my work done!
Hmmm since im doing crazy stuff with tech.
Why the fuck no just overclock my tablet GPU right (Intel HD 4000). That will be fun if it goes to plan and even if its able to overclock it.1
She: Hey, if I send you a video (made of photos), could you please rotate the images (they are rotated 45 degrees)?
Me: hmmm sure.
*She sending the video*
Me: Wait... there is some text over the rotated photos...
She: That's a problem?
Are you fucking kiding me? How the fuck I can rotate *only* the images in a video where you put also some text (not rotated)???
Can't you visualize that if I do that, the text will be rotated 45 degrees and the video will be still wrong?1
Ok so I was fetching some JSON data from a SQL database server and loading it on the front-end. Every single data is being loaded onto the table except for a single data column, which is empty.
Hmmm... So I go and check my code... everything looks fine.
Then I console.log the JSON (using .stringify() of course), all the values from the table are present in the printed out JSON.
Ok, now I am really pissed.
Long story short...
I had misplaced a single 'i' in the SQL statement, I had included the 'í' (the i-acute) character instead. And since I was using an alias in the query statement, no error was shown.4
Work it harder, make it better
Do it faster, makes us stronger
More than ever, hour after hour
Work is never over
Oh the rant? This is gonna be a long one, and that was one of the lyric that stuck in my head for the past 3 days, Alive live album 2007 was glorious,
TL/DR, note to self, ALWAYS ask for documentation, and written evidence of any task & stories before start anything next time,
To start, death march was over, my team and I got some downtime(less work) for the past week, some of the guys were still busy with their respective stories (bugs, etc) but all in all it was not as much load as the past month before that,
It was peaceful and quiet, I was working bugs, some enhancement here, some enhancement there, it was nice for a change, until
One of the PO came by, asking if there's any spare dev, my team's tech lead suggests me as it's gonna be a front end work on web, good old HTML and CSS, and it's supposed be a task, not a story, I thought it's gonna be nice for a change, so I agree, the PO took me to the lead developer in charge,
Both of them briefed me, it's gonna happen in the apps (it's web alright, but in React Native, so no HTML and CSS for me), i was tasked to create 2 forms, and connect it with the microservice, "okay" I thought to myself,
Me: "Do we have the design for this?"
TL: "no but someone already made similar page you can either reuse it, copy paste it, whatever"
Me: *my bullshit senses are tingling, "that's one, what about the second"
PO: "I think the other team already made similar one too, lemme check, ah here it is, if it's all good I'll make the story for this"
TL: "okay, so there's that, can you start right away?"
Me: *tingling intensifies, "wait what about the flow"
TL: "it's simple, I will do this then it takes to your page, then this and that and that, and you do this and should be done, the MS is all there you just need to make the front end and connect it with MS, good?"
Me *hmmm intensifies, "ok let me check the available component first and see what I can do"
TL: "great, can you finish it by tonight?"
Me: *what the fuck intensifies further, it's fucking 6 PM, "nope, I don't think so, there's always complications when handling forms, not to mention copy pasting stuff"
TL: "it's ok, at least finish one by tonight"
Me: "..., we'll see"
Trying to reuse the form for the first page is no good, I had to duplicate the components, first one is working fine, the second template is almost done,
TL: "dude how's it going? It's been a whole day"
Me: "first one's finished, second's underway"
TL: "can it be don.."
Me: "today? Nope"
TL: "dood, is it done yet? It's been two days, what's left on the progress?"
Me: *for fuck's sake, "I just need to figure out how to connect between the first and the second and it's done
TL: "okay cool"
[different PO came by]
PO #2: "hey, hi, sorry, what's the progress on this?"
Me: "uhh hi, just need some unit test and it should be good for PR"
PO #2: "cool, keep me posted"
I finished, about to put a PR, I need the story ticket, I asked the PO and the TL
PO #2 gave me the ticket for the backend work which the TL is working on, no mentions or specs for th front end
TL gave me a ticket which was just created shortly the moment after I asked for it, only title and no description
Me: *shit, this will be interesting
Sure enough, the tester who is doing smoke test on my branch threw a fit, where's the spec, where's the design, where's everything, how is it supposed to work, the flow, the typecheck, translations, etc
The news came to be heard by the design & product team, and they came by, apparently no one knows what the front end was supposed to do, all everyone know is just the back end part,
In the end, it goes apeshit, everyone are confused, everyone have different understanding of the story, but at least what I've done doesn't went to ashes, after explaining everything to the design team, they decided that let it be, but there's might be some minor changes on the layout,
And then I began to understand why this TL and PO #1 had somewhat bad rap, while I was stuck with PO #2 trying to explain the relation between my task and the backend user story,1
Me: Hmmm, tax time is coming up, might be a good time to finally get my new rig
ATO: You you have $4000 withheld tax money, how great!
Me: Fuck oath! spend $2500 on the PC and chuck the rest towards my house deposit
ATO: Yo that sounds great, well how about we keep 3000 and give you 1000? Sound cool? cool.
Me: ... Well... Guess no new rig then17
I was wondering how a sysadmin would know if the user sending malicious traffic is the real attacker or his account has been hacked ?
(Also probable that the attacker has faked his mac address to user's device)9
Hmmm. @dfox, there seems to be a problem. I click on a rant, and it takes me to a collab page. Is that a new feature? :)5
Imma be real with youse, i havent been posting shit cause i have a great job with great teammates and great management. Like it a rant that i cant rant but thats a good thig i guess. But ion wanna see devrant community goin down the gutter cause old members r leavin so imma stick around and post stupid shit in the comments as usual. So youse can stop bothering me bout bein inactive hmmm3
Me: finally got some free time. Now I can work on that side project.
Life: hmmm. That's a good idea but how about we have Typhoid and stay on the bed with a high fever that you cant move.1
I am doing very well in a STEM PhD on a topic I don't like. I wish someone could hire me as a junior software developer instead. :(5
Developer: You don't Know JS
A great corporate culture, pleasant coworkers, a caring manager, meaningful work, and a good salary. Hmmm. Thank you for reminding me that I have a pretty close to ideal Dev job. I can live with what's missing. 🤠
Step 1: install my c++ library from www.scammysite.be
Step 2: extract the zip and open scammyexe.exe
Step 3: ....
Step 304: do three backflips
Step 404: it should now be installed on your machine
Step 1: sudo apt-get install coolsoftware
I seem to have terrible spelling when it comes to being on devRant, it's a curse!
But then again when I'm browsing devRant my code ends up cleaner... Hmmm
About to be interviewed by an upcoming client for a project I don't necessary like, wish me luck,
Already 30 minutes passed from the scheduled time and the person in charge is not here yet, yep punctuality is just not in our culture, shame2
I love it when asshats, that wear testicles for sunglasses, like to ask me a question about my past experience with a given technology. Let's call it "X". After I've said my piece about the desired effect "X" was supposed to achieve, and describe the environment/scope where "X" was used, and describe the pain points I've encountered with it or the headaches "X" has caused in those environments, these camel spunk garglers then try to immediately rebut me by saying that every one of the times they've set "X" technology up it's worked just fine.
So, I kindly remind them that my past experience was in large enterprises where "X" technology just doesn't scale well so I've seen some issues with it.
Spunk Gargler: "Hmmm, must've just not been setup correctly."
I lose my shit (internally of course because I can't afford to be without a job right now.) and say, "I'm not so sure that it wasn't setup correctly, I just don't think that 'X' works properly at the scale of 500+ employee environments well. You've only ever set it up in small offices of like - what, 20 users?"
Shitlord McHerp-a-Derp who's Drunk on Spunk: "Maybe, but it just sounds like a bad configuration was causing those issues to me."
He shuffled back into his office shortly after I basically told him he's a fucking chump playing small team tactics and I've seen shit at scale so I've seen first hand what does and does not work well.
I'm writing this because this is the same fucking imbecile that has only ever encountered a /23 network once before from a client they inherited from a previous MSP team and they didn't know how to "safely change it" to a /24 so they just left it in place.
(BTW, just for the non-networking guys/gals out there, I'm sure you've already guessed it, but a /23 network is NOT a fucking problem!)
These puffy cancerous taint boils that call themselves IT engineers are the fucking problem!
I'm not a dev by trade or training, but trying to learn DevOps, and I can totally see why Dev teams can/sometimes get pissed with infrastructure teams... infrastructure/helpdesk side of IT is full of these fucking meat heads.1
Visual Studio 2017 (RTW)....
You are not there yet, but I trust you.
If anybody can be best (among IDEs), it can only be you.9
"Your disk is almost full..." Hmmm... I can't deal with this right now - so I search for npm_modules and just delete all of those folders... 5 minutes later - trash is empty... and the disk is not almost full.1
Conversation yesterday (senior dev and the mgr)..
SeniorDev: "Yea, I told Ken when using the service, pass the JSON string and serialize to their object. JSON eliminates the data contract mismatch errors they keep running into."
Mgr: "That sounds really familiar. Didn't we do this before?"
SeniorDev: "Hmmm...no. I doubt anyone has done this before."
Me: "Yea, our business tier processor handled transactions via XML. It allowed the client and server to process business objects regardless of platform. Partners using Perl,
clients using Delphi, website using .aspx, and our SQLServer broker even used it."
Mgr: "Oh yea...why did we stop using it?"
Me: "WCF. Remember, the new dev manager at the time and his team broke up the business processor into individual WCF services."
Mgr: "Boy, that was a crap fest. We're still fighting bugs from the mobile devices. Can't wait until we migrate everything to REST."
SeniorDev: "Yea, that was such a -bleep-ing joke."
Me: "You were on Jake's team at the time. You were the primary developer in the re-write process saying passing strings around wasn't the way true object-oriented developers write code.
So it's OK now because the string is in JSON format or because using a JSON string your idea?"
SeniorDev turns around in his desk and puts his headphones back on.
That's right you lying SOB...I remember exactly the level of personal attacks you spewed on me and other developers behind our backs for using XML as the message format.
Keep your fat ass in your seat and shut the hell up.3
That moment when you click a Google link at the same time your code finally launches your app ... and you say "Hmmm, how did Google redirect me to localhost:8000?"1
I'm a student at a cyber education program. They taught us Python sockets two weeks ago. The next day, I went home and learned multithreading.
Then, I realized the potential.
I know a guy1 who knows a guy2 who runs a business and could really use an app I could totally make. And it's a great idea and it's gonna be awesome and I'm finally gonna do something useful with my life.
All I gotta do is learn UI. Easy peasy.
I spent the next week or so experimenting with my code, coming up with ideas for the app in my head and of course, telling all my friends about it. Bad habit, I know.
Guy1 was about to meet Guy2, so I asked Guy1 to tell Guy2 about my idea. He agreed. I reminded him again later that day, and then again in a text message.
The next day, I asked him if he remembered.
I asked him to text Guy2 instead. He came back to me with Guy2's reply: "Why won't he send me a message himself?".
So I contacted Guy2. After a while, he replied. We had a short, awkward conversation. Then he asked why he should prefer a new app over the existing replacement.
He activated my trap card. With a long chqin of messages, I unloaded everything I was gathering in my mind for the last week. I explained how he could use the app, what features it could have and how it would solve his problem and improve his product. I finished it off with the good old "Yeah, I was bored😅" to make the whole thing look a bit more casual.
Now, all that's left to do is wait.
Out of all the possible outcomes to this situation, this was both the worst the least expected one.
I'm not familliar with the English word for "Two blue checkmarks, no reply". But I'm certain there is no word in any language to describe what I'm feeling about this right now.
By that point, Guy1 has already made it clear that he's not interested in being my messanger anymore. He also told me to let the thing die, just in case I didn't get the hint. I don't blame him though.
It's been almost a week since then. Still no reply from Guy2. I haven't quite been able to get over it. Telling all my friends about it didn't really help.
Looking back, I think Guy2 has never realised he has that problem with his product.
But still, the least he could do is tell me why he dosen't like it...
"Why won't he send me a message himself?" Yeah, why really? HMMM :thinking:
You know what? If I ever somehow get the guts to leave my home country, I'm sending a big "fuck you" to this guy.10
Me: Did you notice <application> is doing <bug>?
Best co-worker: Hmmm yea, I noticed.
Me: It must be because of <faulty implementation>.
Best co-worker: Yeah, don't worry I'll correct it.
Me: *moves on happily to other things*
sales-managers: How long do you need to implement feature X ?
software-dev: Hmmm, that's nothing we have in our default-packages ... could be nasty, because it won't work without feature Y, which also does not exist in the current version 3 of our system.
I need to investigate this issue.
... 2 days later:
software-dev: This is really a nasty problem - to make X work, we've to reimplement Y for our system version 3, but this won't work with feature Z.
If we do this, it may take several weeks.
sales-manager: we need to go live in 2 months.
software-dev: might work.
1 week before go-live:
sales-manager: The customer saw us testing feature X. He does not like it. Could we just do it in ... blabla ... this way?
software-dev: This would work out of the box with feature Z, yes - we've to remove feature Y and X for that. But be warned - this might work next week without testing only.
sales-mamanger: do it now!
day of go live:
The customer tried the new feature X - it won't work.
software-dev: But it's not there, was removed, instead he has to use feature Z.
sales-guy comes back: He does not like it.
software-dev: why not? its working!
sales-guy: Yes, but he still wants it to work like feature X as he ordered.
software-dev: according to the specs, its exactly what he ordered. look at that: (showing the general specifications of project, showing feature Z).
sales-guy: The customer did not review this new document since last week.... Its still feature X
dev: really? why? I sent that version to you the day, he said, he doesn't like feature X, and you said I've to change that just urgently.
sales-guy: Please switch back to the version with X of last week. - could you. please ?
me: This won't work, because the other colleagues already finished their stuff on that currently running system - we'll lose all the optimations we've done to make this and other stuff work.
----- FAIL ------- NEVER DO ANYTHING WITHOUT SIGNATURE OF THE CUSTOMER !!!
One week onsite and rescheduled go-live is just so-what expensive.
Today (some weeks later) ... I saw someone else sitting in sales-guys office.1
During my job hunt as a Java Developer looking for job while on a job just like what every other developers do, around twenty twelve i got an invite from one of the companies i applied for, i wasn't expecting a test though but i was prepared for it anyway. The test proceeds, i and the other partakers were given separate systems and spread out across the room like teams in a football match, i don't know if they planned on making us nervous, it seemed so very awkward. First question was *Who originally developed Java (like seriously???? i almost cummed!) i skipped... skip skip skip. After so many skipping minutes i then arrived at that question ***Check string for palindrome, hmmm i then noticed my system was connected to an open wifi (don't know if it was a dumb mistake or on purpose). I definitely googled and faithful loving heavens i found the website were they got all 21 questions with their answers from (https://simpleprogrammer.com/progra...). I answered all questions using different approach, applied xml commenting, state possibility and outcome of each code block, added wiki references, i flawed the test. Few days later i received a call for final interview, got there and the interviewer was like "Do you teach/lecture on coding or something? cus you really did pretty good on the test the other day", I felt like a god and was like "no, i don't. just did what i had to do". Seems like he loved my reply and i got the job without a second question. The open network is still a mystery to me till date.6
Yesterday I had a discussion with a freelancing developer
Me: You're already earning good, why are you freelancing?
He: Freelancing is my hobby.
Me: !! Why don't you participate in some open source development? I do.
He: How much do you earn there?
Me: In terms of money? few bucks as donation for 1 coffee in a month.
He: few bucks only !!!
Me: Opensource development can be good for your career. You can get a good job or promotion....
He: I believe in certainty.
So i started up my laptop and i look at battery. 3% oh shit time for charger.
Plugs in charger.
CPU goes on AC only up to 2Ghz and on battery turbo boosts normally. Uhmmmmmm What ?
I grab my Arch usb after a while and almost when i turn off my laptop i notice it boosts on battery again at 25%.
Hmmm this is surely weird.
So well it seems like that the CPU wont boost when battery is low. Most likely some crappy bios limit shit.
I had to disable one BIOS limit before and that was a fucking clock speed limit that limited the CPU to 1.6Ghz on battery. Like what ? Disabled that crap when i knew what was going on.5
Started to refactor a class. An hour later -
"hmmm this little bit of code that uses the new refactored class could do with a bit of work". An hour later
"hmmm this little bit of code that uses the new refactored class could do with a bit of work" Eight hours later
"Shit, I've almost rewritten the damn application" !!!
Random code review:
contractor changes 2 lines in the .gitignore and 1 line in the composer.json and logs 4.5h against the related ticket .. hmmm3
Entered a demake game jam and can't decide whether to demake DOOM (2016) or Skyrim...
Hmmm, choices and choices, anyone else have suggestions?14
So my friend told me that he recommended me to be a new Creative Engineer.
-Oh shit, sweet, what are the requirements?
-I don't really understand that kind of stuff man, just look it up, here' the link
Who the FUCK use actionscript nowadays ???2
Christmas Day and the Nintendo server is slow .... hmmm , I wonder what everybody unwrapped under the tree!
I give software support to Rugged handhelds in a company and everyday some IT support moron comes to me with a crazy request. The day just started and...
IT Tech: "Hello, C, can you improve the touchscreen sensibility? It's not so responsive and sometimes we have to click more than one time to something work"
Me: "That's ok, the rugged ones that you have are very old, besides they have resistive screen, so your fingers won't do a good job"
IT Tech: "THERE'S NO WAY TO FIX IT? I guess I'll open a ticket for you to study more calmly about the issue"
Me: "If it's not a software thing, I can't do that, I don't have hardware skills, I guess you'll have to call our provider about that, but, before you do something, try to recalibrate your handhelds, the majority of the users don't do that at the system's start and the touch experience really can become a mess"
IT Tech: "Hmmm, I'll try that, otherwise I'll back to you, thanks!"
I am open to suggestions of a magic batch file/ .NET CF 2.0 software that will turn their handhelds into a Galaxy S6 touch experience. THANKS!1
wife just asked me: is it mp4 or mp5 we have problems with?
me in my head: mp5? no she means something else... problem with 4 or 5 from her point og view...hmmm.
answer: Its 265 that we have problems playing.1
What the fck is CI/CD?!! Hmmm 🤔 I don’t know, but it sounds trendy so might as well pretend to know it to sound cool.13
Started a game.
It was like 12Fps lower. Hmmm.
I was wondering why then after hour of gaming i looked at FPS and it was back to normal.
OK thats weird.
Then i close the game and i realized i was building android ROM the whole time. The build was done thats why it jumped back to normal.
Mind you this is laptop so its amazing what AMD CPU can do in such a scenario.
I LOVE IT11
Error: Can't find Python executable "C:\Users\*****\AppData\Local\Programs\Python\Python36-32\python.EXE", you can set the PYTHON env variable.
hmmm what if I go to that location
Python 3.6.4 (v3.6.4:d48eceb, Dec 19 2017, 06:04:45) [MSC v.1900 32 bit (Intel)] on win32
That moment you see a new "blocker" issue in the bugtracker with the content "this is not a defect but a question".
I'm looking through our SLAs if some clause forbids killing our users.
May I host hunger games with these users as participants? Hmmm...
Update: for those of you who know cougar woman/ my self proclaimed "work mom" in my previous posts (bitch who keeps stealing my lunch), yesterday she really tipped me over the edge. So I'm fucking hauling ass on my sprint work because I had to take over another team member's tasks (because he "doesn't have time" for it being prod support but all I see him doing is shitposting at his desk) and someone from another team asked the cougar a question about something. she comes up to me all demanding like "HEY you, you got the worksapce open?"
I was like um... no I don't. I'm working on the other application.
and then she's like "Look at my laptop and show him". Okay bitch let me just drop everything I'm doing to help a random person. The fact that she commanded me instead of just asking me pissed me off. Not even a single sign of "please". I'm tired of her truly. She is a snake. Even to her friend on our team. Every time he's out she's like "hey where is _____? huh why isn't he here??? hmmm" in an instigating way to remind everyone that he might've taken off for no reason. When I was too sick to volunteer at an event she organized in the morning on Saturday, she asked me the following Monday, "oh did you drink too much? lmao. a spiteful, grudge holding bitch for sure3
Hmmm! So I'm passive aggressive person. I don't argue with my fellow devs I post the their faults on devRant!
"I think I've been too harsh on desktop Linux. Maybe I'll give it one more shot. Ok, debian 9 looks decent."
- Unetbootin fails to recognize usb drive
"Hmmm ok. I'll use ether to to put the iso directly on the drive."
- Bios requires disabling of secure boot
"Uhhh..I guess I'll just disable it in the bios."
- Debian fails to configure network
"Lol fuck this."4
Software project in technical college:
Expectation: Ok guys, we have about one month to finish our project. We have a lot of stuff to do, so let's start right away.
Reality: So we have one more day until the project needs be submitted. Hmmm... I guess we're going to start by tomorrow.
hmmm more rants about Linux than about Windows?
Actually analysing better, most of "rants" about Linux are actually expressions of love.
I can't find however any expression of love for Windows.
So the question remains open6
Soo... Let me get this straight... My boss reeeeeeally wants me to reconfigure our database system to sync data between each of our 15 sites... Let me this about this...
Our database is an MS Access database originally written about 17 years ago. It was written as a standalone database that runs a unique instance for each of our sites.The person responsible for the database (still not the original developer) before I took over 6 years ago bragged about how they were "an 80s developer" (w...t...f!). Even with all of the fixes and additions (additions because... F&$#ing of course there are!) It's still basically held together by duct tape and spit.
Hmmm... Ok, still possible. What's the environment I'm working in... I have absolutely ZERO control of our workplace network... That's a whole other department. Due to the nature of the workplace (and it's sites) there is extreme limitation on network access.
Well... If I'm Reeeeeeally nice to the people in charge of the network, maaaaaybe they can give me access to a little server space.
A very long shot, but, doab.... Oh, the boss would really like this handled in the next couple months...
F$#k you! There is no way on God's (still) green earth that I... Alone... Can rewrite a legacy database... written across 4 or 5 different versions of FU$KING MS Access, and give 15 sites, with extremely limited networking, real time data sync in... Oh, a few months.
Now, I do not work with "computer people". I'm usually lucky when my coworkers remember their passwords (which, even if they don't, WHY tell ME! I don't run the network!)
And when I tell my boss basically what I just said... In a nice, pleasant way... They suggest I'm not giving the problem enough thought...
FU#K YOU IGNORANT ASS! Write me a ToDo list in MS Access (no, I'm not going to tell you where to start) in under an hour then, MAYBE, we can talk about... No... Just NO... Can't be done!
*Takes deep breath* so... Lovely weather we're having, right?3
Other peoples' code... (in C++)
I am finding what some people consider good code is not as described. I found a class that provides strings. Great it gives me paths and stuff. I incorporated it in a new project.
Hmmm, it must have an init function... It does, but not in the class. It has a friended init function:
friend init_function(). If this function is not created and called external to the class then the class will segfault...
I implement this. I use code from another project that implements this correctly. The friend class allows the private constructor to be called to create the main instance of the class. So its a fucking cryptic ass singleton. I look at this class. It uses a macro to decide what to function call in the class. The class already has function names for each call it needs to make. The class is literally a string lookup table. I vow to redo this shitty code, someday...
I start to wonder what other fragile code I will find. Not long later I keep getting errors on malloc. Like any malloc that is called results in a segfault. The malloc is not at fault though. I run valgrind and find a websocket library is returning an object a different size than the header file describes.
Somebody has left an old ass highly modified definition of the websocket header in a location in that I include headers (partly my fault). I eliminate that from my include path. All is well, everything behaves. I will be making sure this fucking header is not used and it is going to die. Wasted a bunch of time.
Lessons learned: some code is just fucked and don't leave old ass shit you tried laying around.5
First time video editor, check !
Download and install, check !
Try to edit video..
Hmmm.. not obvious controls..
No trouble, watch how to video !
Which then says, this is how you do it, without telling you what keys or icons to press !
Why are these things always so difficult..5
Finally found a free noun on npm... I realized though, I have no idea how to promote a package I've built anymore. The internet is too noisey... Hmmm, how do you successfully get the word out these days?3
- finish that ML course I started back in June 2017
- get more experience from my job
- improve my code quality even better.
- build some cool project in Java ( there's this company I need to impress, but I haven't found any good idea to implemen 😣)
- be more active on Hackerrank
- do some stuff here and there
- use that freaking LinkedIn to create some meaningful connections
- contribute to an open source project
... yeah that's a lot ... *sigh*7
Junior Dev: "The man told me I have to use his framework but I don't know shit about it"
Me: "hmmm, since it's something he developed, you should ask him for some documentations or some examples"
Junior Dev: "I did!! That bastard gave me an example but I can't do anything with it. It's just executables, some config file and NO sources"
Me: "well, this sounds odd to me. You're telling me he just sent you executables and not a single source ? There is no .cs file in there?"
-- 2 minutes later --
Junior Dev: "now that I see ... The sources are there ... BUT the damn bastard put them into subfolders ... And there isn't a Solution file ... How could I even ..."
And THAT was the moment my brain collapsed into a black hole, obliterating me from the existence. Or at least that was what I wished for.
I have just slept for a minimum of 5 hours. It is 7:47 PM atm.
We have had a damn stressful day today.
We have had a programming test, but it really was rather an exam.
Normally, you get 30 minutes for a test and 45 minutes for an exam.
In this "test" we have had to explain what 'extends' does and name a few advantages of why one should use it.
Read 3 separate texts and write the program code on paper. It was about 1 super class and 1 sub class with a test class in Java.
Task 3: Create the UML diagram of the code from above. *internally: From above? He probably means my code since there is no other code there. *Checks time*. I have about 3 minutes left. Fuck my life.*
Draws the boxes. Put the class names in each of them. A private attribute for the super class.
Teacher: Last minute!
Draw the arrow starting starting from the sub class to the super class.
Put my name on each written paper. And mentally done for the day. Couldn't finish the last task. Task 3.
During this "test", I heard the frustrations of my classmates. Seemed like everyone was pretty much pissed.
After a short discussion with the teacher who also happens to be the physics professor of a university nearby.
[If you are reading this, I hope that something bad happens to you]
The next course was about computer systems. Remember my recent rant about DNS, dhcp, ftp, web server and samba on ubuntu?
We have had the task to do the screenshots of the consoles where you proof that you have dhcp activated on win7 machine etc. Seemed ok to me. I would have been done in 10 minutes, if I would be doing this relaxed. Now the teacher tells us to change the domain names to <surnameOfEachStudent>.edu.
I was like: That's fine.
Create a new user for the samba server. Read and write directories. Change the config.
Me: That should be easy.
Create new DNS entries in the configs.
Change the IPv6 address area to 192.168.x.100-200/24 only for the dhcp server.
Change the web server's default page. Write your own text into it.
You will have 1 hour and 30 minutes of time for it.
Dumbo -ANGRY-CLIENT-: Aye. Let us first start screenshotting the default page. Oh, it says that we should access it with the domain name. I don't have that much time. Let us be creative and fake it, legally.
Changes the title element so that it looks like it has been accessed via domain name. Deletes the url and writes the domain name without pressing Enter. Screenshot. Done. Ok, let us move to the next target.
Dhcp: Change lease time. Change IP address area. Subnet mask. Router. DNS. Broadcast. Optional domain name. Save.
Switches to win7.
Holy shit it does not work!
After changing the configs on ubuntu for a legit 30 minutes: Maybe I should change the ip of the ubuntu virtual machine itself. *me asking my old self: why did not you do that in the first place, ass hole?!*
Same previous commands on win7 console. Does not work. Hmmm...
Where could be the problem?
Check the IP of the ubuntu server once again. Fml. Ubuntu did not save when I clicked on the save button the first time I have changed it. Click on save button 10 times to make sure it really is saved now lol.
Same old procedure on win7.
Alright. Dhcp works. Screenshot.
Checks time. 40 minutes left.
DNS:It is your turn. Checks bind9 configs. sudo nano db.reverse.edu.
sudo nano db.<mysurname>.edu.
Alright. All set. It should work now.
Ping win7 from ubuntu and vice versa. Works. Ping domain name on windows 7 vm. Does not work.
Oh, I forgot to restart the bind9 server on ubuntu.
sudo service bind stop
" " " start
Check DNS server IP on win7. It looks fine.
It still doesn't work. Fuck it. I have only 20 minutes left. Samba. Let us do this!
10 minutes in. No result. I don't remember why. I already forgot why I have done for it. It was a very stressful day.
Let us try DNS again.
Oh shit. I forgot the resolver!
sudo nano /etc/resolv.conf
The previous edits are gone. Dumb me. It says it in the comments. Why did not I care about it. Fuck it.6 minutes left. Open a yt video real quick. Changes the config file. Saves it. Restarts DNS and dhcp. Closes the terminal and opens a new one. The changes do not affect them until you reopen them. That's why.
Change to win7.
Ping works. How about nsloopup.
Does not work.
Teacher: 2 minutes left!
Saves the word document with the images in it. Export as pdf. Tries to access the directories of the school samba server. Does not work. It was not my fault tho. Our school server is in general very slow. It feels like they are not maintained and left alone like this in the dust from the 90s.
Friend gets the permission to put his document on a USB and give the USB to the teacher.
Sneaky me: Hey xyz, can you give me your USB real quick?
Gets bombed with "do you want to format the USB?" pop-ups 10 times. Fml. Skips in a fast way.
Transfers the pdf. Plug it out. Give it back.
After this we have had to give a presentation in politics. I am done.6
"LG G7 leak shows off a familiar looking notch"
Hmmm..... (scratches head)
Worked with a front end dev that said "hmmm" to almost everything. She would do it in a way in which she sounded very interested in what you were saying. In one meeting we counted over 100 of them.3
Still weirded out when Google Assistant says “Hmmm? I didn’t get that.” It’s just fucking unsettling..3
When your boss ask to convert the system to the new framework version, but still ask the other team add new module. Then said why your work never done hmmm.2
1. It's working.
2. Why's it working.. it shouldn't be working! Hmmm..🤔
*Finds a solution to a totally unrelated issue after 3 hours*
3. Oh so that's why it was working! 😮😮😮😮😮
So I'm at this gaming event to enter in a small game I have been working on with fellow teammates. As an OOP, does anyone find the following conversation hmmm, odd?
Guy: I program for Microsoft!
Me: That's great! What's your favorite syntax?
Guy: I don't want to get into that? Me(inMyHead): 🙄😂😂😂👍🏾4
First. I clarify my work schedule is from 7am to 4pm. I have a personal emergency so I must leave on time today.
Now my story: Today (finally) at noon they decide to publish the iOS and Android applications. The thing with the Android application is the other Developer is with a last minute improvement (since Monday) and is not over.
It's 2:45, the iOS app has already been sent for review, but Android is not. So when the Architect says that he already talked to the client and told him that everything is ready today, I asked the Developer if Android is already? and his response was "Almost I will finist at 3pm or 3:30".
(Hmmm) I'm worried about time so I say Ok, then Android will be published tomorrow! God he needs to finish the development, and I'm going to take new screenshot, do the merge with the development branch and everything that's need for a production release. So, the Project Manager says "Hell no! It will release today!" My answer: I have to leave at 4 and there is a lot of haste to do something so delicate.
I'm still waiting for an answer in slack from her.
Then the architect very "professionally" tells the other Developer to do it himself. It's almost 6pm and they still have not done anything
1) That moment when you're like god this code is awesome/I'm a genius/Can anyone else other than me even comprehend how to do something this awesome? AND THEN you shift to "wait a second..." Is this actually super convoluted/inefficient/there is a way easier way to do this? :o
2) Do people even know that google can provide them with like any and all of human knowledge? I feel like 50 times a day in my head I'm screaming "GOOGLE IT!!!!!!!!!!"
Earlier today I ctrl+alt+down arrow my co-workers computer because he left it unlocked and I was feeling especially awry so when he kept saying I don't know how to fix it, I was like google it!!!! I'm teaching you a valuable life skill...
Second. I was at my in-laws house and we got on the topic of what does "impeachment" actually entail? So my mother in law was like hmmm I thought it meant so and so....I'll have to ask my friend so and so the next time I see her....she's a political science major or something like that....
In my head....
You could.....GOOGLE IT!!!!!!2
It feels like east asia is so hard on using IE.
Was doing angularJs (i know, we are planning for an upgrade by next year).
Implementing things in multiple select with ngOptions and some filter for dynamic option depending on previous selected option.
Everything works fine.
Have we tested this on IE?
Fucking browser broke, takes so long to update the succeeding selects. FML.
Looked up to answers in SO. Found the fix was in later version.
Current version is old as fuck. 1.4.x
Now have to contemplate in upgrading and hope every other things doesn't break.
Wish me luck devranters! If everything works out, i'll be back in incognito mode here. If not, there'll be more to compe.2
Went from uni to my car to drive back home. Engine doesn't start, And report of low oil level is showing up. Hmmm. I've opened hood and checked oil level. It was empty. First thought. I drove here with no oil so I broke the engine. Great... I bought some oil and refiled it. Still same problem. I've called my insurance company and my mechanic. And then. Brilliant thought evolved. Did I turned off ignition on secret switch today? Yea it was it. Had to call everybody again and cancel my AC request. Gosh, I hate having memory of golden fish...
Also. Hi everybody. my first !rant3
Hmmm i guess when i was still android porting i had issue with one file that wouldnt for the love of god compile and was causing hell of issues.
Then after hours and just hours of pain and suffering i found out that make file didnt have it because i was testing stuff. Yeah the AH-HA moment was huge.
hmmm... thinking of moving from vim to phpstorm.
maybe if i keep vim bindings might be tolerable. but in reality i am wondering if i can increase my production by having function mapping available. ctags is supposed to provide it in vim just never been able to get it setup properly.7
So today I went to a nearby computer shop to buy the Asus Vivobook 15.
Left that shop with not only the laptop and it's free bag, but also a free USB flashdrive, a free set of 6 glasses and a free set of casseroles!
Getting kitchenware items was the last thing I expected from a computer shop.
The sales lady was really nice too. I'm really glad I bought it offline than ordering it online, the price was same as well.4
So...we just sent a design proposal for a new feature to our biggest client. Their response? -Hmmm, let s drop this feature for now...OMG have you guys seen the new airbnb design for ios, like it s soooo cooool, we want that, redesign the whole app like this. - Yeah sure, except our app has nothing in common with theirs...Isn't it great when clients make decisions like this based on checking a new app version in the toilet real quick? 😝 Needless to say, we're not redesigning...
Dev1: "what was that requirement? I mean, do you remember that little yet hugely important detail ...?"
Dev2: "hmmm sort of ... Maybe it's in one of the emails, possibly 2 months ago. Let's try to find it"
Dev3: "wait, probably Dev1 was not included for some reason in that thread of emails"
Dev2: "no wait, I mean the other, the one we used to talk about those other specifications from previous meeting..."
[and the story goes on]
Now you may think "ok, this event happened once and was a misstep. Shit happens"
Actually, this is the bread and butter in this company I collaborate with. All their requirements are spread across thousands of emails, usually mixed together and possibly forked into different threads. Often people are cut out from conversation because someone forgets to "reply all", other times they're lost in time.
When I asked them "why don't you use some other tool, maybe something more organized and easily searchable, something structured..."
They replied "no no, we prefer to use email for historical reasons"
My brain just melted like chocolate under the sun2
Hmmm, so you’ve used the DAO pattern everywhere so you’re not coupled to a particular database, but you don’t mind having 8 lines of Hibernate annotations at the start of an entity class, and 2-3 annotations on every property.
This is a rant to myself. I am an international postgraduate student studying in Australia, and after the first year study, I got an internship in a local IT company. That's good indeed, not everyone can get recommendation from the uni, however, I feel so stressful. Because my English skill is not good enough, I hardly used any English before I came to Australia. Thought I have no problem in technical conversation, I often fail to keep up with my local colleagues' daily conversation. Sometimes I have to "Pardon?" for several times, that's embarrassed and makes me frustrated:/
But when I am chating with my local friend, I perform more better. Hmmm... Any suggestion? I really want to improve my English, specially listening skill of understanding what native speakers are saying.4
Would love it if when I select a new notif for a comment on rant etc. That I was scrolled down to said new comment / mention, not sure if it's an easy one but would definitely be a nice touch, though I guess then you'd wonder what the rant was! Hmmm.1
windows 10... hmmm blue screen of death is a different shade of blue now... still sucks balls though.1
Finished compiling my biggest project to date. It compiles fine, but does not output anything.
Time to spend the night debugging and overeating.
I feel like there's an over saturation of dev sites talking about "tutorial this" and "best practice that". Would be refreshing to have developers just talk about their grind and not so much their showing off of what they just learned from Stack.....oh wait a minute!! Must be how this devRant came to be! Hmmm....fuck me, epiphany. Who knew?
You know something bad is about to begin when some of your resource names look like spr_Elf0_Male_Attack_Up
Hmmm, a few too many underscores for me :-/
Any idea how I should shorten this down but still be readable?4
My ecig mod (or box how some call it) started to missbehave, it started at random not liking more and more batteries and generally it was good time for replacment. Fast forward, im at shop, and I have few options, i dont want to cheap out becouse I know how it ends, and I want reaible box for longer and I can pay a little more for that.
So there was few quite competetive options, but most of them had build quality i wasnt fan of, some even plastic outter shell, magnets which tend to break off, but their feature list was quite competetive, and there most expensive of all (400 pln +-90ish $) that seller presented me had (seemingly) no features. No menu even. But build quality is solid buttons feel are just better, and it looks like it could survive longer than half a year. Fine, i shell out what it looked missing features for solid build quality.
I go home, rtfm, and wtf? "Before use update firmware with XYZ software". Okay, done. But hmmm what is that?
It has plethoria, absolute TON of customization but from PC program. Hell yeah, that was fucking good choice and seller missed whole selling point of this box. Like literally, he didnt know its best feature. I can go as far as customize entire GUI on that small screen. Its been awhile since I did my last pixelart thingy but monochromatic so not too bad :)4
This is an actual transcript...
Since it's way too long for the normal 5000 characters, hence splitting it up...
Infra Guy: mr Dev, could you please give some rational for update of jjb?
Dev: sparse checkout support is missing
Infra Guy: is this support mandatory to achive whatever you trying to do?
Infra Guy: u trying to get set of specific folder for set of specific components?
Infra Guy: bash script with cp or mv will not work for you?
Infra Guy: ?
Dev: when you have already present functionality why reinvent the wheel
Dev: jenkins has support for it
Dev: the jjb is the bottle neck
Infra Guy: getting this functionality onto our infra would have some implications
Dev: why should I write bash script if jenkins allows me to do that
Dev: what implications ??
Infra Guy: will you commit to solve all the issues caused by new jjb?
Dev: you show me the implications first
Infra Guy: like a year ago i have tried to get new jjb <commit_url>
Infra Guy: no, the implications is a grey area
Infra Guy: i cant show all of them and they may hit like in week or eve month
Dev: then why was it not tackled
Dev: and why was it kept like that
Infra Guy: few jobs got broken on something
Dev: it will crop up some time later
Dev: if jobs get broken because of syntax
Dev: then jobs can be fixed
Dev: is it not ???
Infra Guy: ofc
Infra Guy: its just a question who will fix them
Dev: follow the syntax and follow the guidelines
Dev: put up a test server and try and lets see
Dev: you have a dev server
Dev: why not try on that one and see what all jobs fails
Dev: and why they fail
Dev: rather than saying it will fail and who will fix
Dev: let them fail and then lets find why
Dev: I manually define a job
Dev: I get it done
Infra Guy: i dont think we have test server which have the same workload and same attention as our prod
Dev: unless you test how would you know ??
Dev: and just saying that it broke one with a version hence I wont do it
Infra Guy: and im not sure if thats fair for us to deal with implication of upgrading of the major components just cause bash script is not good enough for u
Dev: its pretty bad
Infra Guy: i do agree
Infra TL Guy: Dev, what Infra Guy is saying is that its not possible to upgrade without downtime
Infra Guy: no
Dev: how long a downtime are we looking at ??
Infra Guy: im saying that after this upgrade we will have deal with consequences for long time
Infra Guy-2: No this is not testing the upgrade is the huge effort as we dont have dev resources to handle each job to run
Dev: if your jjb compiles all the yaml without error
Dev: I am not sure what consequences are we talking of
Infra Guy: so you think there will be no consequences, right?
Dev: unless you take the plunge will you know ??
Dev: you have a dev server running at port 9000
Infra Guy: this servers runs nothing
Dev: that is good
Dev: there you can take the risk
Infra Guy: and the fack we have managed to put something onto api doesnt mean it works
Dev: what API ?
Infra Guy: jenkins api
Infra Guy: hmmm
Dev: what have you put on Jenkins API ??
Infra Guy: (
Dev: jjb is a CLI
Infra Guy: ((
Dev: is what I understand
Dev: not a Jenkins API
Infra Guy: (((
Infra Guy: jjb build xmls and push them onto api
Infra Guy: and its doent matter
Dev: so you mean to say upgrading a CLI is goig to upgrade your core jenkisn API
Dev: give me a break
Infra Guy: the matter is that even if have managed to build something and put it onto api
Infra Guy: doesnt mean it will work
Dev: the API consumes the xml file and creates a job
Infra Guy: right
Dev: if it confirms to the options which it understands
Dev: then everything will work
Dev: I am actually not getting your point Infra Guy
Infra Guy: i do agree mr Dev
Dev: we are beating around the bush
Infra Guy: just want to be sure that if this upgrade will break something
Infra Guy: we will have a person who will fix it
Dev: that is what CICD is supposed to let me know with valid reasons
Dev: why can't that upgrade be done
Infra Guy: it can be done
Infra Guy: i even have commit in place3
Me at the start of the day:
"Hmmm fresh new CSS sheet, this time everything will be properly organized. "
Two hours later:
"Shit, I got this feeling that I have already styled this class... Oh well, I'll organize this later.
At the end of the day:
"same element selected 3 times in same style sheet? My CSS is versatile. Spaces and indents? What the fuck am I selecting here? Everything seems to be working as intended, I should organize this... Nvm, I'll make a clean sheet next time.3
I was checking my work Inbox and the first thing that I saw was a recruiter email.
So, let's check, is this my personal email, no.
Hmmm, maybe this is a prank or a test? check email domains and everything looks legit.
It seems that recruiters want to get developer attention at all cost nowadays. :D
Coworker : Hey can you check out why all the links in the project don't work ?
Me : hmmm *checks one of the links, which works* yeah yeah, all of the links
Hmmm.. Google Pixel battery just died in a split second from like 50%. On one hand, im concerned about what just happened. On the other hand I hope it happens again so I can sleep in and go to work late without the associated guilt 😉3
Hmmm this seems like a bug...No worries, we'll call it a feature and no one will ever know!2
So I have some OPC server to pass a lot of data to another app. And this developer is telling me that a "delete" event for a tag is not arriving into that app. So few emails flow back and forth between us, me trying to explain where that bastard event goes, he insisting nothing sort of arrives on his side and it's my server's fault. Until a meeting is set with my manager and his.
Dev: so I have no actual data from your server.
Me: can you seek, please, within your code if struct X is passed on from the server?
Dev: yeah, it appears a lot of times but I haven't seen any instance with your delete event.
Me: ok then, is it any place where you implement the main interface of the OPC client? There is a method in it where all the events are sent. You can put a breakpoint and I cand send you only this event.
Dev: hmmm, I'm looking for it.
[after couple of minutes]
His manager: Dev, did you find that class?
Dev: hmmm, I'm don't know...
His manager: can you add that breakpoint?
Dev: it's not necessary, I can fix it the "delete".
Can't operate in normal conditions, hmmm... These airplane media systems really need someone to come in and change the game. Linux stack, nice, but most obviously some Linux frontend? 🤔 Although, this is satellite, my rant remains the same! Need to change the game!
Hmmm.. I don't know but something sketchy was going on with my previous employer as they're not really registered here in our country yet so, they decided to put "Freelance" on our job title though we're working full-time or under a contract. Not really sure how that goes. Glad that I left that company.1
I return to uni next year to continue a Bachelor of Software Engineering, also just got shortlisted for a full time web developer job with the CSIRO, it pays like 70k a year, I wonder if I could do both. Hmmm. :/5
Doing a quick field experiment.
Wonder what happens if I leave this here.
Hmmm, doing a little side project which requires me to store "money" I am uncertain if the approach should be integers with cents or dollars as decimals (19,4) in a MySQL/php project.. Any thoughts?5
Hmmm based on the description, not sure why this isn't the "Messenger". I mean.. looks like its better in every way2
Hmmm, I cant upload rant with image by Nougat. Ok, I gave permissions to local storage manually, but still I can see only spinning loading wheel and after few second it just disappear. Whyyyyyy?2
If I am getting a math PhD, and want to pursue data science, how important is getting another formal degree in DS to get a job?1
So when you have a screen with light colors displayed and turn brightness down, the colors become darker.
BUT! If you have dark colors displayed and you turn the brightness down, do the colors get brighter?
Asking for a friend.1
I thought you had to be great in the computer fields before your friends started asking to make their idea games. Just happened to me this morning.
Friend: Hey let's make an MMORPG!
Me: Bro that would take years...
F: Hmmm... fine then just an RPG.
M: *in my head* cuz that really changes things, it's still an RPG...
M: Lemme hear your idea
F: *proceeds to describe Fallout /but better/
F: And I'm willing to learn game design an hour or two a day
Idk how to make him realize that it takes money, time and more than two people!!