Boss throwing up a huge source code that I didn't see before.

Boss: Hey, this is an app from a contractor to do XYZ.

Me: Oh, okay.. so?

Boss: You will continue the code and the maintenance now. How much time do you need to implement X feature?

Me: I need to see the code first, can't say nothing now.

Boss: ok I need estimation now.

Me: *getting nervous* I need to see the fuckening code first. if you want estimation now I would say one year..

Boss: what?

Me: what?

How do i code in a single night

Costumer: I found a 40 line python script on Stackoverflow to do that.

Dev team: ok, now... how many lines you think we will need to put the python interpreter, libraries and your 40 line script inside an Android and iOS apps with legacy code?

Boss : How do you access code at home ?

Me : Well, Git is fairly accessible from anywhere with the right credentials at hand

Boss : What of you have virus in your system ? Can't the virus infect our NodeJS code ?

Since then, I haven't been able to get out of the mental comatose induced.

A friend of mine: Look at this nice app I made 😎
*shows me a normal looking app with tabs and different views"
Me: Hmmm… looks good.
Friend: Do you know how I made the navigation between views? 😏
Me: I'm afraid to ask…
Friend: Since I didn't know how to use the piece of code I found on internet, I made multiple views one above another with visibility set to false, and during the navigation I just change the visibility. 😁
Me: WTF? Man… this isn't something you should be proud of… it shouldn't be done.
Friend: Do you also want to know how I backup the code?
Me: No…
Friend: I send it to myself via email.
Me: FUCK!
Friend: I also never use while loops, I prefer to use for instead with a break inside. 😊
*blocked*

How do I code....

I found this app by googling "How the fuck do I get my code to compile" after fighting my program for hours

Joker: If you are good at something don’t do it for free
Me: (thinking) How much shall I charge to introduce bugs into someone’s code? 🤣

Lead engineer: "Well, uh... I haven't really prepared a test for you but the HR insists that I should test you before wrapping up this interview.. so uh.... what do you suggest we should do now?"

Me: "Um... how about we walk through my latest project code and you can ask me to optimize it?"

Lead engineer: "Sounds cool, allright let's do that. How much time do you need?"

Welp. Did I just pick my own interview question?

HE:"Hey I improved my code"

ME:
*opens the file*
*Sees random static allocations*
*Code is as verbose as before*
*Down to 2600 lines from 2800ish*
*Still doesn't do shit properly*

"Uuuh what exactly did you do?"

*Starts noticing the lack of namespaces*

HE: "I used this using namespace std to write a bit less"

ME: "Can I pay you yoga lessons so you can taste your own cock and show your parents how good you are at it?"

drunk me: "let's just code a bit right before going to bed!"
*codes and then goes to bed*
sober me: "when and what did i do here?"
(...)
also sober me: "how the hell does this work?!"

Advice that I give to interns/grads:

In uni/college, you're taught *how* to code something to achieve a goal, and 99% of the time the code will work and do the job in a lab.

But when building things for a real production environment, you learn the 100 ways how *not* to code, from seeing things break left right and centre - basically everything and anything can break your code, whether it is users, the OS, other people's code, legacy code, lag, concurrency, the alignment of the moon to your server...

I hate when people look at me weird when I talk sexy to my code. It's like how do you not find this sexy. Lol I'm in class like awww yeah pull that input and increment it you dirty software.

Look... I know I'm just a newbie. I started a year ago as a junior. Sure. No one wants to do code review, so I got chosen to do it. People don't like it when their code gets criticised. And you know what? I get it, I should probably be a bit nicer with my comments. I should not suggest I'll make a fork and split internal library into two streams if things continue this way. I should not ask questions that can be understood as me being passive-aggressive.

But holy fucking shit, you're a senior developer. Don't treat Java as a fucking scripting language. Don't have a method that has 600 lines of code, because you're repeating the code! You've already copy pasted this shit, and modified it slightly. Like, couldn't you have created some architecture around the code? How can a senior dev copy-paste code?

Oh and why the fuck did you create a new utility class for functionality I already provide? Look, I admit, yours is a lot better, ok? It has extra functionality. But why the fuck didn't you enhance my utility class? Why did you create a new one? Did you just not want to touch my code, or did you not see it right below your newly created class?

Am I the only one who fucking cares about maintainable code in this company? When I got hired, I was in tears by how frustrating a lot of the things were. No documentation anywhere, not even fucking comments. No processes in place. Want to do something? Source code is your documentation. Fuck you! I busted my ass of to force everyone to document every little bullshit, to re-factor their MRs that I reviewed, and I won't let even a senior fucking dev pollute the code base!

Fuuuuuck... Me...

*my first day on the job to work on a website used by dozens of companies worldwide and 1000s of users*

me: So where can I find the git repository?
dev: Git?
me: Uh... what kind of source control do you use?
dev: We don't use anything fancy like that.
me: *freaking out a little, I already committed to this job*
me: So then where do you edit your code and how do you back it up?
dev: Oh, I just edit it on FTP and zip all the code every week.

Just found this precious gem in the legacy code I am maintaining! How do you check if a string is empty :-D ?

People who don't understand what I code or who don't even know what a freaking "code" is, telling me how to do my job!! Then my reaction will be like -

New guy at work asks me for a code review. 16 lines added, and I have 4 comments, all about readability. Only the major stuff because I went easy on him. I even ignored a missing semicolon.

Guy comes to me and explains that code review is about if code works, not what it should look like. "You want me to write it your way, and we'll have endless arguments if that's how you do code reviews. But I'll do your requested changes." Reduces his entire code to two lines, which make a lot more sense.

Later, I ask him why he used "void 0" anyway. I was wondering if he's thinking of security aspects or if there's another reason. His answer: "because it looks cool and nobody else does it".

We hired a developer and he has very minimal experience. I feel most of our conversations end up going something like this.

New Guy: I'm not sure how to do this obvious task and I'm incapable of searching Google.

Me: Give me your hand so I can hold it and walk you through the process of copying and pasting code from stack overflow.

New Guy: Ok...give you my hand...right...how do I do that?

FML

How do you salvage a really hard question on a whiteboard interview?

Ans: "I'm sorry, I don't code on light theme"!

Via reddit user csquestions5583292

Friend :- Dude i made some changes and the code is not working now.
Me:- Bro, Do you even GIT it?
Friend :- No i don't GET it how it happened and how to restore it.
Me :- You destroyed my pun and my faith in your development skills -_-.

Friend: I don’t need git. Git is for people like you who cant do good backup of their code
Me: Yeah, yeah, go do whatever you like...

2h later comes to me:

Friend: Can you make me repo and show how to use it...?
Me: What..? You drunk?
Friend: Naaah, no... My disk broke while ago...

Karma is a bitch :D

30,000 lines of undocumented code. How do I deal with that?

How do I explain to my PM that I don't want to come into the office because I code better half naked surrounded by soda cans and several layers of cheeto dust

Being a college student and knowing that when someone ask for "help" they actually mean "Give me your code"
The other day someone asked me for a way to solve a homework and I instead gave them the links from MSDN of the libraries and method he needed and he was like "Okay but how do I use this, how did you do it?" I facepalmed and decided to delete them from facebook, I hate leeches who wants me to do their jobs.

I usually start going through the code and as I do I draw (connected) shapes for every part of the code, as I do I add "features" to the shapes (little spikes, give them stripes etc) that way I'm able to "see" what is missing and how the shapes should interact

this might be a bit weird to explain but it helped me a lot to understand what the code is doing and get it rolling again

Manager: How’s the progress coming along?

Dev: The section of code I’m working with is one of the more difficult ones so it’s a little slow

Manager: Ok well I didn’t write that section of the code

Dev: I’m not saying you did I’m just giving you the status update that you asked for

Manager: Ok well I can’t really do anything about that so how about you tell me something I can do something about instead of just complaining about code THAT I DIDN’T EVEN WRITE!! *Marks self as offline*

Dev: …

When I am sitting in my school and writing a few lines of simple HTML code, people looks at my screen and more less shouting out loud "wow you are like a hacker or something? Who are you hacking and how do you do it and how did you learn it?". It happened a couple of times to me. Sometimes I just tell them it as it is and saying something like "it's simple HTML code" and a little explanation of what it is. Sometimes (depending who it is) I answer that it is a new kind of spyware I'm developing and if I'm lucky they believe in me and starts begging me for not hurting their computers.

Just a few lines of <script> and some code highlighting. How to become a hacker!

"Oh hey, your code is a perfect showcase, may I show it to collegues?"

"Sure, but why so?"

"For demonstrating how to do it NOT!"

Random dev online: Any chance you could help me figure out how to use something the company you worked for wrote? I need to do XYZ

Me: I didn't write it but sure. Theres a doc here about the full process of doing XYZ <link>

Random dev 5 seconds later: But how do I actually do it? The link doesn't show how to do it via code.

Me: You'll find if you actually read it, that it does. Because I checked. Good day

Not commenting my code because "it's so clear what I'm doing, how could I ever forget what my own lines of code do."

My graduation project partner was strange person

Favorite IDE is VIM

Forget how to use git

But somehow she could code most of the app

I asked what does she do when mistake happens, she answered "delete and write again"

I suggest github but she is "to embarrassed to show her code on internet"

She send .zip file of her code to me

Go to univ library to copy some code because she don't believe random code on internet

Of course verson of code on book in library is too old, but she prefer fix herself

But she is overall good person, so I can graduate next month

How I do code reviews

I bet some day we'll have robots tell us where bugs in our code are instantly and our kids will say "How did you ever write code without them?" And we will say "We had to use this archaic thing called Google and do research... It took forever!"

Someone saw that i didn't use mouse while typing code and asked me how do i do that and i told him that i just use vim. He didn't know what it is and i told him some things that it has a learning curve and stuff and he told me that he will definetely look into it.

Come to the dark side kid.

Man it's midnight and all I want to do is work. 5 hours from now I'll be dragging out of bed to go to work where nothing gets accomplished. In 17 hours when I drag in from work I can do real work for 7 hours before crashing while wishing I could just code through the night. It's an infinite loop and I dont know how to fix it!

Just curious, how is it like to work as a developer. I mean, as a profession and not a hobby or freelancing.

From devRant, so far I know that you work in an office, the managers and bosses are assholes, and people always write unmanageable and undocumented code.

What else is it like? Do you get to work alone or do you have to work with people? Do you stay there all day long?

I know its still going to be a while for me, but I want to know how it will be like.

How intellij handles syntax errors while reformating code vs eclipse:

Intellij: I'm not sure what you want to do there, so I'll just make slight adjustments.

Eclipse: Yeah, I don't understand this so fuck your whole file.

When I code for myself I do all the naming in German only. Mainly because that's how I can see directly if that stupid mess is done by me or the framework.

"Why is this code working? How did I do it?"

These unanswered questions keep me up at night.

Hey, i took a look at your code and heres how you could improve your performance!

"No thanks lol it works this way too"

Okay you fucking idiot, thats not how you do normal distribution

"Why are you so mean"

How much legacy code do I need to understand and fix before I add Software Archeologist to my LinkedIn?

I work with junior developers, guiding them and teaching them on a daily basis.. my biggest pet peeve?
When they finish typing code and without testing it ask: "Is this right?"

HOW THE FUCK DO I KNOW? Seriously! I don't know what all your specs are, maybe try running it before asking??

ffs.

I looked into the code of the website of our company. One of the first things I found was that the Login was hardcoded with clear passwords. So everytime a new user needs an account the code has to change.

I still can't understand how people can do that.

I was teaching my fiancée how not to write duplicate code. After a while of me ranting about why you shouldn't do that she made a dostuff() method and dumped all the duplicate code into it.

I kinda like the result of that.

On that note, i finally made an account after lurking here for weeks. So, Hello!

How do I know when I’m ready for a junior dev job? Currently I’m very familiar with syntax rules, data structure, I even created my first p2p app and I’m feeling more comfortable with server side programming and handling dependencies.

But I can’t like code blindfolded and I’m very slow and have to think very deeply and concentrate very hard before doing any minor thing.

How do I know??

There's this junior I've been training. We gave him a bigger task than we usually do

"How do I link an object in table X with the corresponding object in table Y?"

"How are objects in two tables usually linked? How did you link Y with Z in the first place?"

"Em... Foreign Keys?"

"Yup"

"But there's not foreign key from X to Y."

"Well, create one. You've got full creative freedom over this task."

I sometimes feel like Juniors are either completely careless about past code or overly carefuly with not editing any past code. Frustrating but adorable

Me: Can you do the javadocs comments
Coworker: I've never done that, *looks for it on google*, I can't do it, I don't know how.
Me: Did no one asked you to comment you code at school?
Coworker: Yeah, but only the ones with '//'
Me: Ok, bring me coffee

I hired a coder to write a WordPress plugin on my dev server. He no longer works for me and is unreachable. The plugin does most of what it needs to do. But when I dig into the code and the database to find what should be obvious bits of code that do obvious things? None of that code is found. Not even with a recursive directory keyword search for that should be easy to find like CSS class names and IDs. Even the data that comes from the database and that I see on the screen is not actually present in the database!!! Yet it all works. I'm pretty sure at this point the code and data reside in a parallel dimension only the coder can get to. How do I debug code that doesn't actually exist?!

Me: 'alriiight let's run this code here'

Logs: 'lol the function you did is deprecated. how about you don't do that, and do the right thing instead'

What was the right thing?
I don't know. It's not on their documentation in their site.

Thanks, js devs :) you guys are the absolute best

Me: please return http code 202 in your http service.

My collegue: ok.

After one hour...

Me: you are returning 200, I told you 202. Let me see the code:

OMFG she was writing the string "202" in the response body!!!

I do not know how to escape from all of this shit.

Sometimes I get so caught up questioning myself how to *architect* the code, that it takes me forever to do the actual coding.

Anyone else ever do this?

I can repair an electronic item, write code and debug. Has a degree in CS so why do I have to ask the wife "baby, how do you operate the washing machine?"

Last week I designed the front page of a construction company website for getting the internship....
After showing my sample to the HR ..he mailed me asking
--->
"Do you know how to code?"
--->
Now I don't know is it sarcastic or I really don't know how to code.

!rant
As a self taught, I used to break what i want to learn into pieces and watch tutorials where people use these pieces. Then I could easily do what I learned, but I could do it exactly how I learned it from the tutorials.
Until one glorious day I found a tutorial about js that doesnt teach you the "how" of things but the "why" of things.
I cant describe how easy and in depth I understand js tutorials now. It is easier even when I have to learn a new framework.
It feels like I fast-forwarded my knowledge growth overnight.
I now see my 3 weeks old code and it disgusts me.

My boss just passed me few tasks that my coworkers fucked up. They have more experience, but they do not follow any code style standards and usually write shitty spaghetti code. I'm pissed off and angry because it's not the first time and I'm tired of fixing things that they ruin. Do you ever had any situations like that? How do I handle this? I'm speaking of two particular persons, not a whole company.

Not sure how other developers handle this but I just had a break down and do not want to see another piece of code for at least a week :/

I noticed my co-worker has been using Atom editor for everything (we do Java/Scala). I asked, "So are you using the new language servers? How are you doing code completion?"

"I don't use code completion. I turn it off."

O_o "Do you not use screwdrivers? Like do you tighten screws in by hand?"

I've know people who code Java/Scala in emacs and vim, but they still had completion, type-lookups, etc. They was a higher learning curve in knowing all the keyboard commands, but all the tools were still there. I don't get people who refuse to use tools. It's reflected in this guys works too when looking at the code reviews.

When all you have is a hammer, everything is going to look like a nail.

Me in school: Math? When do I need know those details? I can look them up and just code it.

Me in high school: Computer science is way too math-y. I want to code!

Me coding php: Just make it work.

Me coding typescript: Just make it work.

Me coding scala: Just make it ... what ... how do I make it work!?!

Me asking stackoverflow: How do I do X in scala some functional programming stuff in mind in order to keep immutability.

Somebody way smarter than I: "In scalaz, a function A => A is called an endomorphism and is a Monoid whose associative binary operation is function composition and whose identity is the identity function"

Me now: Fuck my old arrogant self.

Hey Designer/Developers, I got a question for you. Yeah, you 👇🏽

When working on a project codebase that is expected to grow and evolve heavily. How do you usually split up your CSS (SASS, LESS etc) in a good way to take into account all the different device sizes?

I am not asking how it is done but more about the design of the code. This would be for a production codebase to be released.

Do you use large blocks broken down by media...

(Media width) {

~site code

}

(Other media) {

~same site code with diff sizes

}

Or do you do individual media queries inside css classes...

.className {

(Media size) {

}

(Other media) {

}

}

Or a mixture of both?

If it is a mixture of both then how do you decide which way to go about structuring the code.

I have been endeavouring to greatly improve my CSS and have done so. But this question has been bugging me. Both sides seem to be a bit sloppy and my programmer side is fighting the repeatitipve code.

Note: all code examples are gibberish and only intended for visualization.

Mirror mirror on the wall, how many code problems do we have overall?

... Im sorry I even asked

Guy sitting next to me sees me coding, gets excited, and asks "OH, THAT'S COOL... what do you do?"

In my head I'm thinking: I... CODE.... ur watching me code.... I do exactly what you see me doing!

Not knowing how to answer, I just end up staring at him for 10 seconds.

Have you ever looked at code you had written years or even decades ago and asked yourself either:

1) How this this even work?

2) What the hell does this do?

3) or, I can’t believe I wrote that. (In horror or serendipitously)

I (don't) like how some people say "If your code needs comments, your code is probably ugly and should be rewritten".
Well, asshats. You have never considered complex calculations/functions or "temporary" workarounds, right?
Sometimes, you have to do it in a not-very-readable way for efficiency. There is no way around that in that case, and comments that either explain the code below or provide alternative, slower code that's commented really help others understand your code.
If I ever work with you and you don't bother commenting your code at all (or rather use slow code because more efficient code doesn't appeal to your "muh code dun need comments" approach), I will hate you.

"How many cars, do you think, are in the city?"

I am here to code, not count traffic.

I freaking hate school curriculums, I have only 5 classes this semester, only two of them are career related and one is about QA, I want to focus on my code, projects, things that really matter but instead I have to do Socials homework, learn how to do research papers, learn about marketing. I really hate this. Besides the classes I have on development are extremely light. And I have to pay for this crap

The more I learn about programming the more terrified I become about having huge knowledge gaps and learning something wrong by possibly making wrong assumptions about how certain things work or by falling on bad tutorials. I'm constantly hyped about coding, and at the same time I always feel I will never be able to say confidently "I know how to code".
How the hell do you make sure you are learning programming correctly as a self taught? Or do i just have to accept that no matter how and what I code there will always be a better way to do it, resulting in me constantly feeling as a low-skilled coder?

I would appreciate if teachers brought in developers that actually work in real projects writing code to show us what they do and how they solve problems every day.

How to get me to never respond to your email: make the subject line say "Salesforce ninjaneer wanted!!!"

First of all I don't do salesforce and second ninjaneer is not a word. I hate when people say code ninja or code warrior or any of those other crap phrases. I'm a software developer. Respect that or suck it.

Professor: "I've been using java for many, many years and know close to everything."

Student: "How do I compile my code on the unix server?"

Professor: "uhh.... I don't know."

Let's start hiring people who actually know what they're doing.

I want to get in the habit of proper documentation of my code, But i'm not sure how it's formatted, how it should look or how I should even begin writing documentation? Do I open a document and just take snap shots of my code and explain how it works? I'm a little confused. Do I take pictures of my UI and explain how to use it? Is it like writing a book?

I've been wondering this for a while now, but how are senior programmers able to (or at least seem to) remember all the code for all the different languages with all the different syntax?

Let me explain: From my experience there's usually two types of thinkers, there's the memorizers, and the logical thinkers. Its usually the difference between people good at history and people good at math. So considering that most programmers would need to be able to think logically (to problem solve obviously), how do they remember all this different code? I always forget the small details which I have to look back at earlier code to see how it was done (Especially annoying for written exams where we have to remember all the code and how to use it)

Honestly I frankly do not care for your title, I care for what you've done and can do.

You may be "more qualified" in research, but if you have no idea how to write software, you're not qualified in software engineering, and frankly, you shouldn't be telling me how to write my code if you don't even understand the use case.

And then don't pretend you own it??????????? The fuck man. I'll sink you.

A friend asked me how people who don't speak English learn to code...he said, "Do they have to learn English first?"

😂

I told him, "See, you're halfway to being a programmer!"

One thing I hate about WinForms:

"do not modify the contents of this method with the code editor."

How the phook do I add eventhandlers without adding them in the code? By some mysterious ways in the so called "designer"? Click and drag? Wearing a tie and talking to the computer? Making a phone call to Microsoft? Immersing into VR and ordering an event handler from a virtual store?

No, I've always just typed whatever I want to achieve and I'm going to do so whatever those know-it-all comments say in the auto-generated code.

You can call me a conservative old fart, but nothing beats writing my own code.

Serously I just recoverd from being overworked and senior developers are complaining to me that their code does not work???

DUDE just read the fucking error and start googling!

How the fuck do you think I learned software development?

It's a fucking matter of trail 'n error!

My new co-worker is extremely stressing. I have to give small tasks so he won't forget to do anything. I also have to explain what he has to do in detail, give him the full solution, and show him exactly how he has to do it.

And he has no idea how to use git. He makes a feature branch and pushes all his various, half-finished features into it and makes a pull request.

And then I still have to refactor his crappy code everytime cause he uses variables like $data, $accA, $accB, $accZ and forgets to use the definied color variables in sass.

I literally have to do my work and his as well -_-

i’m so tired of people who are developers that go to every new popular social media platform and try to teach others to code. god fucking dammit. what could possibly going through these people’s minds? do they really think people who want to learn to code think “i want to learn to code so bad. i should scroll mindlessly through instagram/tiktok until i find someone teaching how to code”?

god, if you’d ever uploaded code to tiktok or instagram to teach others to code, you’re a fucking idiot.

"Yesterday "
Client: ''Perfect! How did you do this do quickly? "
Me: "I used a library"
"Today "
Me: "I'm still debugging. It will take some time"
Client: "well, It has already taking too long.... I can hear Mozart in the background. Maybe you need to go to a library to get some quite and get it done fast. Visit the one you used yesterday. "

Me: "library?Ahh... I meant plug in like.... Code, a library is a bunch of packed code. "

Learning through documentation.

I learned one thing.... That how I can copy paste any thing in my code and comment it as "magic happens here do not touch."

Yeah thats my code learned from documentation (image below )

How I see my code,

If(){else]:
Do -> this & that with them;
While (for)and >>;
//It takes me forever to figure our my own code

How I see someone else's code,

%fGu$@@)$'®}£jfksksj℅™™}£}∆¢b&jjwoajqh-2+=•{(=jajaJJwUUhh-jtffhk®{£{™>>¥,©®¢€££∆¶¶|×££{©]•{%$==¢++''). 92%+$+
//well I am not sure how in the world I manage to understand someone else's shit

Why do business and systems analyst even project managers try to give estimates for how long development should and will take? I hate how people who don't code and do any real work try totell me how long it would take me.

I hate how my teacher always says "do your homework that does this and only this"

and the the next day he is like "i'm gonna implement the code you were supposed to do so it does 4 more thing you couldn't even think about it"

and i have to spend all my day changing how I wrote my code because it's (for me) impossible to re-use my code in relation to the new implementations

I need to delay execution of code in a for loop, how do I do that?

PHP: Sleep(3000)

Javascript:
const waitFor = (ms) => new Promise(r => setTimeout(r, ms))
const asyncForEach = (array, callback) => {
for (let index = 0; index < array.length; index++) {
await callback(array[index], index, array)
}
}

const start = async () => {
await asyncForEach([1, 2, 3], async (num) => {
await waitFor(50)
console.log(num)
})
console.log('Done')
}

start()

Fuck you Javascript

I really don't know how to please StackOverflow people. I did my due diligence on a bit of code but, like we all do, I got stuck and needed a bit of advice. I posted clearly and concisely and still my question got downvoted twice. What do they want? For me to post the question AND the answer? Only ask Ph.D.-type questions? Why am I never good enough for these people?!

I abhor timed code tests. Do you really want to test how fast I can write crappy code?

!rant

how long do you guys code per day?

being a student i have now extreme difficulties in time management😐

need some advice...

to the guys saying "oop is dumb" / "i don't need oop" / "i've never worked with oop"...

i have some questions:
- which language are you working with
- which problems are you solving
- how big is your code base
- how do you maintain readability of your code?

don't get me wrong, i don't believe that oop is always the answer. i'm just curious which fields these statements are coming from. if they all come from a low level (assembler, C, ..) or functional languages or "scripty" languages (python, JS), or if there are also people working with languages like C++ where oop is pretty much established. and if the latter, i'm curious how people design their code and what problems they solve... tell me your story :D

Cause with enough experience and time I can do anything anyone else can and more.

A painter can paint a painting by hand, I can paint the same painting by code.

A musician can create a song on an instrument, I can create the same song by code.

A teacher can teach. I can teach a computer to teach teachers how to teach.

Got to talking with someone in our company about AI generated code. I said we still have to audit the code, understand how it works, and ensure there isn't any nefarious libraries or code in what is produced. Like what we "should" be doing when we find libraries on the web. I explained how people will purposely create libraries that are spoofs of other libraries, but have malicious code embedded in them. It doesn't take much to imagine someone using a sketchy AI to push this kinda code.

How do you reasonably fight this if we start increasingly relying on generated code by AI? So I suggested we need an AI to review AI generated code. Then we need an AI to review the AI that reviews the AI generated code. Then...

I've created a code review for merging someone else's code, coz they were signed off sick for the last month.

They're making comments about how it's wrong.

It's code they wrote, but restructured to be more readable.

They wrote incorrect code that was just so illegible they didn't realise.

How do I explain this diplomatically?

Friend asked me how to start a node server. I gave her starter code and told her to do “npm init” then “npm install” ur modules. This is what she did

How often do you get bored (eg. on a bus) and just code something completely stupid on your phone?
(pic is the result of some spaggeti I made on a bus today)

Heard that this morning.

Someone trying to teach somebody programming: you’ll see, programming is easy. We’ll start slow, I won’t teach how to code in c++, java or linux...

🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

How do you want to teach him programming if YOU THINK LINUX IS A PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE!!!!!!!!!!

I found a bug.... it's in production for a long long time... I wrote it while optimizing some legacy code....

FUCK.... how do you feel when you discover a bug in production created by you?

How can you call yourself a code if you live in a city and never experience the outdoors, trees, birds, life. I do it all the time and it gives me so many more ideas and concepts to include in my coding.
#include <outdoors.hpp>

Why do big companies hire such loser engineers ??? I mean what the hell man. When you are hiring a fresher to code they should at least know how to apply/write a for loop. I once had a colleague who assigned each array element individually instead of writing a for loop and asked me why I refused to approve his stupid code. What do I reply to this ? It was so dumb, I could not articulate an answer.

Arrrgggghhh!!
How the fuck do you stay focused on one task?!

Writing code, is like browsing YouTube for me. I begin by searching for a Hibernate tutorial, and end, 3 hours later watching a video of a cat chasing a dog up a water slide.

How do you stay focused on the task of writing the specific class, method, package you set out to achieve when you sat down for that session??

My manager believes every bug can be solved by adding a thousand printf(s) and checking which part of the code isn't being hit. How do I politely tell him to get his shit straight? 😂😂😂

Why do people always start new projects a month before the company closes for Christmas?

I told them how tired I am, plus they know I've just come out of final year computer science degree exams, and at the end of a massive code and infrastructure migration. My brain is absolute paste.

If you saw my last rant, you'll know how much I hate Calculus. I decided instead of trying to learn this foreign topic, I'd instead translate it into a language I DO understand: C. The irony is that we use Calculus so we can learn to code easier, but I'm using code to learn Calculus easier. Funny if you ask me.

Always thought writing free code is devaluing yourself. So, the stories coming out how the most popular used libraries' dev/maintainer having no income, complaining afterwards doesn't surprise me.

Why do people devalue themselves? I have no idea.

Look, normally I don't give a shit how others code, but when the company's style guide is literally just the statement "use eslint", and I have to do code reviews...we will start to have problems.

if i work on PussyBranch to build up a feature, and DickBranch is my main branch so if i merge directly from Pussy into Dick and then work on Dick, and then switch to Pussy again then surely i wouldnt be able to commit to Dick because Pussy isn't filled up with the new code, right? I'd need to pull the latest code from Dick into Pussy branch. but what if i dont want to merge Dick into Pussy code? because what Dick contains, Pussy should not and that would cause anomaly and break uhh how do u call it, the purpose of the branch itself right. So if I want to work only on Pussy and commit just that segment of the new code into Dick, how do I do that? Do i have to force pushing Pussy code into Dick every time or can i do it without force command? serious answers only pls

also what alcohol is good for a more productive and longer hour coding sessions thx

This is about both worst boss and most annoying co-worker.

Well, this boss didn't care how much code we wrote, or how good it was (well, at least he didn't care that much); only how much commits we do. And this coworker literally did a script to do a commit every 10 minutes. 24/7. Everyone else was completely mad about it and about a week later we achieved that he was kicked from the job. Since then I still get trauma if someone commits something unimportant.

Man I'm only 4 years in and I'm so tired of writing bullshit code that no one cares about. How do people do this for 20 years. I don't know. Motivation is at an all time low. It seems stupid to me that instead being out there with the butterflies I am dying staring at a rectangle for days on end. FML.

GOD I FUCKING HATE UNITY AND FUCKING C# SO MUCH
EVERY TIME I TRY TO MAKE IT DO WHAT I FUCKING WANT IT TO IT'S LIKE "mmmmmm nah lmao" LIKE FUCK WHY CAN'T YOU JUST FOLLOW FUCKING 3 LINES OF CODE NO MATTER HOW I PUT THEM OR ORDER THEM YOU BRAINDEAD FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT PROGRAM

Whenever I cancel out old chunks of code that do not serve their function anymore, or that I commented out in early phases to make space for better functions, I feel dead inside. It's almost like if I was saying goodbye to a very old friend, who supported me through the project and reminded me of how I started it.

Than I notice how stupid and/or inelegant that chunk was, and feel better. 😂

Am I the only one that goes crazy when I have to use a low-code system? It makes no sense to me. The abstractions that help an average schmuck make a feedback loop of abstractions in my brain.

How do I loop over this collection. Is this a collection or a single thing? How does a variable work? Logic doesn't work the same? How do I know what is actually coming into this little port? When does the database get this? Can I see a debug log somewhere? Why can't I see the code behind this little popup window?

I ask someone that isn't a developer and they say, "You are overthinking it."
Fuck that. You pay me to overthink things and describe them in excruciating detail. You wouldn't hand an illustrator three wax crayons and ask them to make a photo-realistic picture.

Devs with young kids: how the hell do you do it?

I am a foster parent for my cousin who is 4 months old and I don’t know how in the fuck to make this work. How do you do it? How do you balance code and kid?

For reference I work full time at a tech support place, I go to school full time, and I’m trying to pivot into software development, which means any free time is spent coding/studying code/building a portfolio. Problem is I don’t have free time because of the baby. How in the hell do people do this.

What I absolutely love to do is refactoring. With strongly typed languages, I often just remove or change something and then follow the compiler errors to finish the refactoring by fixing them.
It‘s not just a matter of renaming something. I will reliably get all the places in code which are affected by the change.

How do you handle that with weakly typed languages like JS? I can only imagine how horrible of an experience refactoring would be.

For the first time I have got an opportunity to have an internship at a local software development team and they are asking for program samples now... I am a little nervous because I have never shown my code to anyone who understands anything of coding and I have no idea how it would do in an interview...

How do you deal with a boss who doesn't know code at all and he expects you to code for him??? How can I explain to him anything because even a single word like git confuses him... :/

So I am young 14 year old programmer that just started high school yesterday. What are some good things to try and do for a future job? Should I stop coding until hs is over, do I code casually with free time and then after High-school I will know a lot more? Not sure how it all works

How do you devs get girl friends who can also code. I never seem to find one :-/

Fellow C# programmers, how often do you use #region in your projects and how important do you think it is?

I have found myself using it increasingly. It works great for me and I feel that I can structure my code better.

Co-worker told me my code isn't up to" standard" and I don't follow "relevant convention" because I don't use a space after declaring a class/function AND inside the parentheses:

Me: class MyClass(something):

Her: class HerClass ( something ):

How do you do this personally?

to whomever it may concern...

if i wanted to do code review keeping in mind how asshole you have been and made it my personal vendetta, i would not review it at all.

i would let you and your shitty code rot in hell.

I have this constant fear of showing my code to the world, but I’m confident to show my work to the world... How do I overcome this?

Maybe you guys could help me...
My father just sent me a .xlsxm file (excel + macro file), it's all about horse races and stuff a 60+ years old dude would do :D

The file is pretty neat, but some minors changes needs to be done, but I have no clue where the code is. I found the "macro" part but it's empty, and I'm not surprised since the file itself seems to be generated from C# (Maybe not, I'm not the expert)

Sooo... Can anyone tell me how do I get to this code?

Flutter.

Should I first write some code and learn the language and experiment with existing app projects from github

or

Can i dive deep into a real project from the start and basically keep googling for everything i dont know how to do?

!rant
Recently I started to be interested in how code actually work. I do a for-loop or an if-statement but how do they actually work at the lowest level.

Another thing I've been interested in is security. I thought about learning how to hack my own systems in order to learn how to write more secure code and keep people out. But I'm a little afraid that as soon as I start look at how to hack, the police will storm through the window and take my computer 😂😂

So I got an offer to do part time on a project that was mismanaged for two years.

After hearing the comments about how ugly the code base was.

I took it. So now I'll have something to rant here. 🤣

What I really hate? When a piece of code simply refuses to work. No logs, no exceptions, no sign that it even exists. HOW THE FUCK I'M SUPPOSE TO DEBUG THIS SHIT?? I drives me crazy, if everything I do changes nothing! It makes me doubt my sanity. And I like my sanity!

Co-Dev: The table doesn't have pagination. You said if I use your code it will have search bar and pagination.
Me: Did you initialize datatable? (we are using JQuery DataTables)
CD: No. Do I have to? How can I do it?

I. can't. even.

<rant>
How the hell do these people have a senior position?
<rant-cause>
Sdev:"The are no vulnerabilities in my code because i have Avast running at the same time"
</rant-cause>
SecOps: "<insert potoo bird reaction>"
</rant>

Me: trying to do any simple fucking project
Me: cant figure out how to do something simple or cant figure out how to start or how something should work.
Me *Looks up problem* (everytime...)
results: SOMETHING I WOULD NEVER HAVE FUCKING THOUGHT OF.

Am I just a shitty programmer, a shitty learner, or just not cut out for this? because I fucking Love this field. this is the only thing I ever want to do. BUT I CANT FIGURE ANYTHING OUT FOR THE LIFE OF ME EVEN WITH LANGUAGES IM GOOD AT!! WHICH IS JUST PYTHON AND IM STILL SHIT AT THAT.

I TRY TO DO PROJECTS WITH JS, OR C, OR PYTHON PICK WHICHEVER ONE. AND I NEVER KNOW HOW I SHOULD START IT, AND IF I LOOK UP HOW TO DO IT ITS SO MUCH LONGER AND COOLER AND BETTER THAN MY DUMBASS WOULD HAVE DONE (and longer in a good way because its well thought out and works)

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET A REAL JOB IN THE FIELD IF I CANT MAKE THE RANDOM IDEAS THAT I SEE ON THE INTERNET AND WHY CANT I MAKE THEM AS GREAT OR LONG AND SHIT ON MY OWN. SO MANY PEOPLE CAN WRITE SO MANY LINES OF CODE AND FUNCTIONS AND ALL THIS SHIT THAT WORKS AND YEAH THEY LOOK UP SOME PROBLEMS BUT NOT HOW TO FUCKING DO THE ENTIRE THING LIKE SOME FUCKING RETARD
AWDJKBAKWJBDAOLK;JWDBOALBJKWODANLWIO;NIAWDN;PIAWLDJBAWIDHB
I CANT GO A PROJECT WITHOUT LOOKING UP HOW TO DO ANYTHING BECAUSE MY LITTLE BRAIN CANT FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO IT

How do I get in the coding zone 🤔 I get buzzed off my tits with caffeine then loud music and code all night

Thought that's how we all do it

I value our most senior developer. His code is certainly clean and structured. He is the ultimate at KISS. However he's not a fan of testing and instead just says, well, did it compile? No matter how much I show him how great testing is, he comes back with how it's pretty unnecessary. Somehow, in the deep dark parts of the web, he finds articles that comply with his standing. I'm okay with him not making tests, I do it myself. But then when working extending or implementing his code, many of my parts are untestable because the parents are. Oye.

Evening: I have no idea how to do it, 4 hours of programming are just wasted.

Morning: Oh, I changed couple lines in yesterday code and everything is perfect now.

How would you feel if you can't solve your code? I'm almost a week stuck on a server problem. I applied for frontend dev position, it's okay for me to do this kind of stuff but the fact that I can't solve it for so long it makes me feel down :(

On a shitty day where your brain doesn't work, have you ever looked at some code you wrote, and actually get intimidated by whatever version of you wrote that? After stumbling around most of the day, read some beautiful code, I admired it, then realized, holy shit, I wrote this?

"Yeah, I don't know who that was, it looks great, how the fuck did I do that, and will I ever be able to do it again"

Like, I don't think I can, definitely not today, write anything even close to that.

bleh.

best teacher? i wont really consider it teaching but it had really helped me a lot in my 1st year of programming.

me: *sends an email* hey i dont really understand how to do this part
teacher: i dont really know how to explain it so i coded it myself *sends me code*
me: oh thanks! *copy paste to mine*

after a week:
I GOT A PERFECT SCORE!! but ofc now i dont trust the teacher's code anymore. i deal with my own code.

How do you guys deal with reviewing garbage code?

Do you waste a ton of time, trying to understand the code, so you can write constructive feedback?

Today I wasted 4 hours reviewing something like that and I'm still not finished.

@dfox, @trogus, would you consider adding the topic for next week to be "Near miss: how I almost lost all my code/data"?

It sould be fun, and people can also learn something. Like what not to do, how to recover and how to prevent this kind of stuff...

I love what I do, I'm passionate about what I do and at times I'd rather be home coding than at work in a meeting. While coding is amazing, I can see how someone could become overwhelmed. I can see why people are scared of programming. Not everyone needs to learn how to code so I don't see why so many people are pushing this "everyone should code" agenda

Have you felt so burnout that it feels like you’ve forgotten how to code?

If yes, how you’ve solved?

I feel like I hit rock bottom. Everything takes forever, and I even forgotten how to do a pull while speaking to a junior recently.

Furthermore, I have to do a performance review and I can’t even think of anything worth mentioning. For sure I’ll be in the next layoffs that should happen soon.

Job market is quite depressing right now. All positions that pay what I need to earn are asking for someone with 3 heads, 8 hands and 9 d*cks.

I miss the times where it was possible to be a senior and just code, without any BS, without having to prove that you can make the company earn N millions more.

Who else is fed up of memes on Facebook like 'She was upset because I didn't talk to her. She didn't know that it was because I missed a semicolon in my code'

Really?? WTF compiler do you use dude? Because of such shitty memes, couple of my non-dev friends asked me how frequently I miss the semicolon in my code?! I said never because:
1. I am not a dumb coder to compile my programs with any syntax errors.
2. Even if I do, I fix it in a minute.

:| WTF really! These dumbheads don't make memes on bugs.

I *hate* it when a senior asks me to write a functional test report. Like I thought we hired functional testers to do that sort of stuff? I'm a programmer, I only write 3 things: code, documentation, and more code. Not freaking reports about how something did not work before, and after this 1-line fix does work. Oh and don't forget to include screenshots and a description of the issue. Arghhh

I think that the idea of IIFE in JavaScript is a good example of how shitcoding can be built into the core of the language.
How can I make my code clean if the language itself forces me to make such an ugly constructions?
What do you guys think about it?

How do polyglot programmers successfully use languages?

I write code with second languages like how I speak a foreign language (e.g German). I think of what I want to say in English, then translate it to German.

How do my fellow devRanters do it?

how many programmers watch anime, cause i have 3 friends who can code and they all watch anime, and if you watch anime do you have some good tips?

There are too many people that consider software engineering a "job". Anyone else here love the process, people and programming? How do people end up at these bad companies and WHY DO THEY STAY??!?!?! There is so much demand for programmers, designers, software engineers, et al. Such that I do not understand how people stay at these companies that hire people who want to make money instead of code.

So i'm working with people from another team to bring about a feature. I was wondering, "how come they're churning out so much shit in so little time!?"

Apparently, they make code, merge request to the release branch, and then do unit tests later.

How do people, in good conscience, think that they can skip unit testing for extremely vital components???

In school i had to do a simple HTML site(i was 13 back then). And i started writting it in guess what... Notepad
Thats how i felt in love with bare code

I have co workers who laugh at me everytime I discuss to them how we should create clean code. (create functions for repeating code, naming conventions, generic code).

They would brag instead how they make another javascript ui library/plugin work(we are web developers by the way). Looks good in the front end but a mess in the backend.

I already created generic classes, generic database views that can be used by them if they want. But they create a new one with the same functionality.

I am a bit of a shy guy, and they are bit of loud, and I don't want to look like a know-it-all-guy, so I just let them do what they want.

I am just concerned how we can work easier by easily reading each others code.

So I thought I knew source tree, apparently I do not... Lost a week's worth of work, went to history, saw someone removed it with a commit, and now I'm getting blamed for my own work 'disappearing'. The reason I am being told I am to blame is how I control my branches... So how I do it is that I keep a local copy of the master branch, I keep it updated and monitor it for changes regularly (meaning fetch and pull cause double tap..) before I do a merge, I check for any new code on master again, then using the local copy of master, which I just updated, I pull the master changes into my branch, deal with any conflicts, build and done. Then I request my changes into master once I am happy everything is good.

My question is, clearly there is something wrong with the way I do things, so please source tree users, what is the most fool proof way to pull latest from master so that I don't loose code? 😔

The overwhelming code smell when you finally got a chance to do a quarterly project-level code review as a team lead.

It's my fault for feeling like they are teaming up against me, and I don't know how to fix it.

So a trainee made a website at the company where I also have my internship, he finished his internship earlier than I did. But the problem is I'm now fixing his site and it's literally falling apart! I fixed one problem and a dozen apear! His code is the definition of spaghetti code. It's so extremely bad I can't handle this, I don't want to do this anymore, just someone please drive a knife trough my chest. This is unbearable HE CREADED A HTML PAGE INSIDE ANOTHER ONE flipping heck how could you think that's how things work!

Fuck being asked every time if I fix computers, Bitch I code in them!
It's like being asked: do you fix cars? No? But if work using your car, how come you don't know how to fix them?

I've had this idea for some time now. How about a website that gathers some of the most well written open-source code and allows you to easily read it for educational purposes? Everyone says that reading source code can be a great learning tool but directly jumping into github is not very friendly to newcomers. I saw what underscore.js has done with the annotated code link and I think it's great. What do you think?

I dont know how to timeline projects. I tell clients that it will be ready in one month. But the project will be so big that it takes lot of time to actually code it and do all the procedures around it. I m just giving them timeline based on the speed of my mind.

Do you guys support today's youth learning how to code? If so, why? If not, why not?

I started coding when I was 11.

Can't even find a proper way to learn android app development.. Some tutorials are way too basic and others way too advanced.. Even books arent of much help to me... I know the basics... How do i learn further :/ How do i code without having to look at some example every time ://

How do you actually make an AI (without if statements)?

I don't need the code or anything. Just an overall idea of how AI is taught something or how it really thinks.

Any references will be appreciated

How do i handle code review as a junior developer?
I understand its need and I don't want to skip it.
But I feel under confident after code review when my mistakes are pointed out. They always seem so trivial and wonder how did I even miss them. How should I handle such situations? And how do I improve from here?

How I solve programming tasks for competitions:

Example: Task from Google Code In. Build a Netflix activity scraper.

Easy, I'll do that and that I'll also need that and to run that I can do that. Perfect

How I solve a task with an algorithm

Reads ahh so I have to do that. Brain freezes and starts staring at a screen and has no idea whatsoever on how to solve it.

Have you ever tried to share your very simple project on FB groups which you just learned how to build? I got a lot of cheerful remarks and 2 to 3 haters. I don't know why they're trying to hate on but I'm just sharing my work and code. How do u not get a bad day and continue to improve yourself with this type of situation?

I'm running into an issue with code coverage... I ran the analysis and it's penalizing unused getter, setters, equals, hashcode.

And the thing is I need those getters so GSON will serialize the fields...

How do you make coverage always > 80%?

Based on current analysis, I only get 60.

i am an unskilled pussy without strong opinions

sometimes you get conflicting feedback on code reviews from seniors

i'll do whatever you guys want (haven't encountered anything egregious enough that I do have a strong opinion on yet), but y'all may need to sort out how you want me to slice this cat

How do you test unreachable code or part that is considered an edge case?

For example I catch exceptions in case IO failed and data was not written on database, but that only happens if hardware failure, or no disk space left, how do I mimic that?

I also have unreachable code for example, in one layer I fetch data (lets call it function x) and always return success result unless item not found I throw KeyNotFound exception. But in the calling function I handle the case of Status == Failed
Just in-case in the future I change function x and start returning failed status, so my logic already written but never reachable

Starting work like "How the hell am i going to do this !!"
ending it like "was that even a task !!"
the excitements and horrors of code.

Ok…I know I’m a junior dev and all and I have to submit to my meh leads, but I want to put this guy on company wide BLAST for editing LIVE PRODUCTION CODE without telling literally anyone for MONTHS. Like how in the fuck do you think that’s a good idea?!?!

I wanted to accomplish new things today.

Instead I'm swimming in:

"This worked before"

- No it never worked that way, you want it to, but it never ever ever has done that thing NOT EVEN CLOSE.

"The thing..."

- Wtf is the god damn 'thing'? How could anyone possibly know what you're talking about? How do you go about life like this?

"How come we can't make it do X?"

- Because the code can't read your god damn mind, that shit isn't in the database, you don't update it and your laundry list of minor fixes for one time or non issues has resulted in you getting coded into a maze of stupid custom code so deep you're NEVER GETTING OUT!!!!

"Is your timezone before or after our timezone?"

- I DON'T FUCKING KNOW, I JUST TOLD YOU MY TIMEZONE, DO YOU EVEN FUCKING KNOW YOUR TIMEZONE?!?!?!? IF YOU CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO LOOK UP YOUR FUCKING TIMEZONE I SURE AS HELL AM NOT!!!

Any other devs with PTSD here? Since the trauma I find it hard to focus on programming. Before the trauma I would code on the job, get home and code personal projects for fun. After the trauma I can barely focus on programming for work.
How do you focus?

Any idea of how to protect your nodejs source code on a client's onsite server ?

If they can SSH, they can get the entire source.

This is built into the angular framework very well but I don't know how to do this on a server.

Any neat packages for obfuscation, uglification etc ?

I haven't been ranting in a while but y'all are so smart that I can't get enough of your wisdom!

So... Client wants me to build something. That something has a lot of commercial value as a product or even a startup...
How do I go about communicating that? Do I reach an agreement to release it open-source and then I can offer commercial support? Do I offer them a discounted price for my services and I remain the owner of the code?

Thanks! 😊

@college project submission
Teacher:once done print all your codebase and come with to class
Me:But sir there are better ways of submitting our code.
Teacher :what do you suggest
Me:we can a repo such as bitbucket or github
Teacher:I got no idea of that you send the code using Gmail or just print the code for your grading.

Me:for Christ sake how will I send all my android files through Gmail.

Most of the stuff I know comes from debugging other people's code. When working on someone else's project, I try to understand what their code is doing and think how I could make it better and if it's possible to extend the functionality to make it do other things as well.

how do you go about working with a teammate that the best thing would be to rewrite the code he worked with for the last 5 months!?

I mean, no separation of concerns, layers upon layers of unnecessary abstractions, unneeded parallelism and mutex and whatnot...

Like, 5000+ lines of code that could be done in 400...

I can't get over how absurd this is:

a = "123456"
a = int(a)

Is it just me or do you have to let go of everything you hold dear, embrace Satan, and sell your soul to be able to code in Python.

Accidentally pushed AWS IAM access and secret key to repository defined within application.yml file in code, immediately i got a mail from AWS warning me that my access and secret keys are now exposed with instructions how to rotate this key and secure it. How the fuck do they know?

Dude how the hell are u even staying at home, I have been home for like a week now and IDK what to do, im bored as fuck.

Umm okay try writing my code in prolog, u would wish the inverse.

Do you plan the application, on which you will be working, before you actually begin to write code?

I do web development and usually begin with something rough or look at designs of other developers. Like an dashboard example, when I see an image on google search that I like, I try to make something simmilar and when I have the surface I can add the functionality and improve the design.

Sometimes I have to make changes in half of the development because at the beginning there was no assumption that there will be a need for a certain functionality or I change a implemented feature to work properly, so I have to refactor something I made as a ground on which other parts will rely, although if I had planed the application in detail, maybe it wouldn't come to such refactoring.

In school we did prototypes, used to draw flowcharts and hold on a precedence diagrams that we made, but now at work when I receive an projekt I just begin to code :-D maybe this should change, how do you do it? If you plan your project, how do you do it?

has anyone here done a proper refactoring? i mean, documenting, following some rules, etc.

i need to know the process and guidelines for refactoring, what & how to document, where to start, etc.

i am assigned to a project for a short term and my job is to do refactoring of Reactjs code. and i need to do it in a really good way.

any help would be highly appreciated.
thank you.

Had to do the FizzBuzz test in PHP. Proceeded to creat a range(1, 100) before the for loop instead of using the loops own index #. Worst part is I realized what I had done in the parking lot after I left. They asked me multiple times how I could optimize the code too lol.

OK... so just spent 3 hours doing the Code Sprint.... 1.9/7 correctly answered... these were "Easy".

Well this is how I feel now....

btw any tips how to do these, seems like you have to be a real God to complete all of these? within just a few days. Do you really need to be able to do this at a tech company?

today our senior dev said that (part of my code) is crap...I asked him how to do this the wright way...he did'nt answer.... :/

Question for game developers 🙄
I wanted to try game development a few years back, started watching unity3D tuts, but I realized quickly that I can't actually do anything, because I don't have the skills to design animation and draw ui, and it was stupid to buy components online before I knew what I'm doing.. so I left it. Was I wrong? How did you start? Is it possible to make a game on your own, or do you need a team with members who each specialize in its own area (code, design, animation, music, etc.) And if team is needed, then how do you even start learning? Thanx

When and how do you improve documentation?
I dont mean "added new/refactored code, gotta document it" but active improvement.
Which feeback channels do you have for your docs?

I some how shocked my head/brain (electricity) ... Wonder if it will impact my code 😅 .... Do feel a bit rough I'm really having a fucked up week.

What IDE do you guys use?

I use notepad++, Codeanywhere and Visual Studio 2017 Pro.

I'm looking for decent code completion with internal referencing to keep track of methods and variable.

Would you recommend staying with VS or how about intelliJ?

Or something new?

I dont understand how am i not fired. I literally dont know how to do shit in this legacy 30 year old junkyard code. I am literally alone working on this project on a giant codebase and have no one for help. The project is burning on fire and scrum master is talking shit for breaking deadlines and i cant do anything about it. Why dont they just fucking fire me that would be such a huge relief bro

So I got rushed to finish the transposition of an already existing big feature (rushed like before the end of the week)

and now I got scolded because I HAD to do copy/paste some code not to lose time (and also because I wasn't explained how the code works, and I have no time to understand it). While I was waiting for answers for, like, a whole month and a half

Me in my mind : (╯°Д°）╯︵/(.□ . \)

Working with at a web dev job with a guy who is a really great programmer, the problem I have is I'm dyslexic and remember code is pretty hard for me but when I get in the flow I can do things. Him on the other hand is a machine, reads something and can implement it immediately. Do you guys have any tips on how to do better? I don't want to look like a complete noon.

So, I got a task to modify a component from another team in another country.

Me: Ask the team for the repo link and explained what I was going to do.

idiot: You don't have access to our repo, I can do the fix next week and upload the code to confluence....

What the actual fuck. How can you even go there?!?

I'm a web developer for a year and I have a work experience girl coming in on Monday that I have to babysit.

she probably won't know how to code. what to do?

I know we are supossed to complete tasks fast.
But god I hate it when they ask for a "simple fix" that they have no fucking clue how to even begin to do. Clients obviously don't have to know this, but my boss can't code an if statement yet feels as though he can say what's easy and what's not and how long it'll take.