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Search - "is this him?"
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rant && dev && education
So I just interviewed this guy for admission into our bootcamp and because he has raised some red flags before, I asked him to just write a factorial function and he chose HTML to do it. I told him he can certainly try thinking that maybe he doesn't know that whatever you write inside script tag is actually JavaScript. He went on to do this. What bothers me is he have a computer science diploma.
Till now I have just heard of these people but always taught those are just marketing or some person who think that just because they here HTML with some other programming language. BUT THIS IS SOME NEXT LEVEL SHIT.78 -
So, this random teen on subway asked me if it was 9GAG I was scrolling [i was on this app ofc]. I said it's better than 9GAG.
He went on like this "oh cool, does it have the the NSFW section too?"
...
Me: a...No, but can learn coding stuff
Him: hacking?
Me: hacking is not what you thin... [He interrupted me]
Him: Damn cool, I wanna learn hacking, it's my stop nice meeting you tell me the name of the app
Me: a...9...ha...ck, 9hack!
Him: cool, thanks. [Gets off]
(Um...Some people just don't deserve DevRant, if you know what I mean)31 -
There's this guy where I work who's one of the senior linux engineers. To me, he's like a linux god. He knows how to solve the most difficult problems and somehow copes with all the stress/workload. Next to that, he's only one year older than me!
Whenever I'm at work, I consider myself a junior, which I actually am. I also, as said earlier, see this senior guy as a fucking linux god and consider myself to be an absolute newbie around him but he is the most kind/friendly guy ever.
But then, today, something happened which made me feel like a god in front of him, a very, very weird feeling.
For him, doing his stuff is the most normal thing in the world while for me, it's still a learning process.
For me, programming is the most normal thing in the wold, while for him, it's still something he just knows the very basics of.
He asked me if I knew something about javascript/jquery. Said yes as I often program/script in javascript.
Explained me what he wanted to get done, it was a very simple thing for me but after hours of online searching, his lack of javascript knowledge still got him nowhere.
Told him I'd give him a working script in 30 minutes. Emailed it to him in 10.
He seemed/reacted the way I always do when he solves something I have no clue how to solve.
It was really weird to witness *him* being amazed of something that *I* made/did.
Today was a good day where I saw that one person's limitations can be anothers' most easy thing, even if that another person sees that one person as a god.13 -
Ranted about this guy yesterday (who didn't get that we weren't hosting his server).
Today my colleague picked up the phone and was like "yo, I've got this guy on the phone asking for you *explains who it is*"
Me: Oh FOR FUCKS SAKE. FUCKING FINE, PUT HIM THROUGH 😡
Guy: hey! I just wanted to let you know that the issue has been solved, it was not on your end.
Although I know I'm not required to do this, I want to apologize personally for the behavior of my it guy. It wasn't okay and if you got any stress or whatsoever due to him, again, my sincerest apologies! I've had a talk with him, it won't happen again. Have a great weekend!
Glad those kinda people still exist!13 -
Interview with a candidate. He calls himself "C++ expert" on his resume. I think: "oh, great, I love C++ too, we will have an interesting conversation!"
Me: let's start with an easy one, what is 'nullptr'?
Him: (...some undecipherable sequence of words that didn't make any sense...)
In my mind: mh, probably I didn't understand right. Let's try again with something simple and more generic
Me: can you tell me about memory management in C++?
Him: you create objects on the stack with the 'new' keyword and they get automatically released when no other object references them
In my mind: wtf is this guy talking about? Is he confusing C++ with Java? Does he really know C++? Let's make him write some code, just to be sure
Me: can you write a program that prints numbers from 1 to 10?
Ten minutes and twenty mistakes later...
Me: okay, so what is this <int> here in angle brackets? What is a template?
Him: no idea
Me: you wrote 'cout', why sometimes do I see 'std::cout' instead? What is 'std'?
Answer: no idea, never heard of 'std'
I think: on his resume he also said he is a Java expert. Let's see if he knows the difference between the two. He *must* have noticed that one is byte-compiled and the other one is compiled to native code! Otherwise, how does he run his code? He must answer this question correctly:
Me: what is the difference between Java and C++? One has a Virtual Machine, what about the other?
Him: Java has the Java Virtual Machine
Me: yes, and C++?
Him: I guess C++ has a virtual machine too. The C++ Virtual Machine
Me (exhausted): okay, I don't have any other questions, we will let you know
And this is the story of how I got scared of interviews29 -
It hurts my brain when people use him as an example of successful drop outs.
For starters, this dude's a literal fucking genius. The average person that considers dropping out is far away from the level of intelligence that Bill had when he dropped out.
average_person != bill_gates15 -
When someone's calls and completely loses his shit (swearing etc etc) because we HAVE TO FUCKING HELP HIM BECAUSE THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE RELY ON THIS SITE WHICH IS DOWN.
Explained him calmly that its an unmanaged server which we literally don't have access to. Keeps on calling me all kinda things and then says he'll email some login details.
Bossman walks in, collegue goes like 'yo guess what just happened with linuxxx!'
Le me explains the story.
Bossman: email me his number. I'm going to call him. You treat my employees with fucking respect.15 -
!rant
I work from home. Sometimes, my husband remotes into his computer during the day. When I see it, I message him jokingly that someone is "hacking his computer". Then this happens:7 -
Today was a good day. User asked for a tricky feature. Right after telling him it is done he left this :)9
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This is the coding rig for everyone that claims himself THE REAL PROGRAMMER (and everyone else except him is just an idiot, a noob or a kiddo).8
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So today this Mother F**ker get HR to back him up to accuse me of not communicating well in the team because I consistently asked him (the code owner) why he kept coding not following the coding guideline.
How is it not communicating? He literally ghosted me and blocked me every time I ask him questions. Which I somewhat don't understand what he is trying to do. HR lady told me that a senior software engineer should have the knowledge to understand everything and all the code.
But the code looks like this :41 -
Husband wanted to not go out after dinner to "go cuddle in bed." This apparently is code for him browsing mathmatica stack exchange and reading books on data analysis with R... 😂6
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##Real fuckening STORY##
Angry client: this feature is not working like we discussed !
Me: it is.. *giving some explanation*
Client : no, this is not the right way
Me: But this is what we documented while gathering requirements, and YOU signed in the documentation..
Client : that long document? you don't expect me to read all of that talk just for this simple feature..
Me inside: *killing him 5 times in 5 different ways13 -
My boss isn't really a developer. He isn't part of the development team and doesn't know any technical details about the product. He doesn't want to code, "too much effort", he just wants to boss. But he wrote some php in the early 2000's and is really, really proud of his codecademy html/css badge...
And that makes him dangerous.
Today I hear him talk from behind his laptop: "Right, we have this page for creating management groups, but we can't edit them yet. I can fix that!"
This task is literally on the current sprint, but he doesn't know that because he doesn't attend scrum meetings and ignores everything people say to him.
Me: This smells like probable cause, let's look with suspicion over his shoulder.
Boss:
"OK, right-click create.blade.php -> copy.
then right-click directory -> paste.
now just rename file to edit.blade.php!"
I start walking to the office kitchen.
Boss mumbling in the background:
"Now all I need to do is just copy the whole method in the controller, change the post url in the form, and modify the <h4> at the top, so it says edit instead of create."
Boss, looking at me now:
"This is so easy... creating and editing is almost the same thing, you can just copy paste all the code from one template to the other! I don't understand what you developers are always complaining about!"
Me: *Hands him a roll of paper towels*
Boss: "What is that for?"
Me: *points at code*6 -
So, i tried to demonstrate my roommate how many people push their credentials to github by searching for "password remove" commits.
I decided to show him the file and noticed something interesting. A public IP, and mysql credentials.
I visit the IP and what do i see there, a directory listening with a python script, with injects the database into a webpage (???) and a log of all http requests. Lots of failed attacks aiming at the PHP CGI. Still wondering how they failed on a python server 🤔🤔🤔
Edit phpmyadmin to connect to the mysql database. Success.
Inserted a row telling him the his password is on github. Maybe i should also have told him how to actually remove it. 😅
Yes, root can login from %
This is how far i can get with my current abilities.
------------------------------
Scary how insecure this world is.4 -
So the head developer at my company quit, and I was chosen to replace him. I haven’t even graduated college yet and am already leading development at a company with over a million active users. Is this real life?14
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This user asked me to Provide my app to Him free of cost for one month (Cost is Around a Dollar for a Month service). I agreed. A few months Later he asked again and I politely refused. See what he did.10
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Spending 5 years at University with a friend....uh???
Let me explain...
I have a friend. A very good friend I can say. I know him since 18 years but I started being everyday with him at the beginning of my "University's journey".
And when I say everyday, I am not joking...every lesson, every exam, every project...
The problem is that he is one of the smartest person I have ever met in the "scientific field". So? He is also unable to say that he doesn't understand something. He is unable to say the he is wrong or to admit that someone else is better then him.
Let just say that he is not good in "relating to other people".
I am very smart too and suddenly he started to fail where instead i was doing good. Jealousy, anger. Every occasion to point out my errors. Every occasion to say to the others that I am stupid and he is smart.
But I know him and I am not like him. So I continued to stay with him, work with him and also going out with him. Because he is my friend.
And you know what? After 5 years he started to be more "human". I learned so much from him and he learned to be respectful and humble.
It was a very stressful period but thanks to that I know that I can be strong and work hard also when someone try to stop me. I am not afraid to say my opinion just because someone is yelling at me. And I know that I can go over stupid judgements and still work good as a team member.
That's it.
Be respectful. Be patient but defend your opinions. Trust yourself but listen and learn from everyone. And if sometime you fail, remember that it's normal. No one is perfect. No one can be perfect alone.
I hope that this rant can help someone else.
Good week to all of you.7 -
Just got a reply from a client complaining that the site I did for him is "too responsive".
Never got this kind of complain.
Normally I might get some complains about the site not being fully responsive but never was I expecting to receive a "site is too responsive" complain.15 -
Remote manager: Hey, that contractor you are working with that sits with me. We are thinking of sending him over to you guys, get him a visa, pay relocation and all that stuff and have him sit with you guys as a full time employee. What do you think?
Me: .... eh ... look I have to be honest, that guy is awful. He doesn't listen to me, constantly working on other things, and the architecture he forced onto the rest of the team is some of the worst i've ever seen.
RM: hhhmmmm, ok but what if we have him report to you, can you whip him into shape?
Me: Honestly I think theres too much effort involved. We are very short staffed. I'd prefer to hire someone else here who has more experience. Its a firm no from us on this guy.
RM: Ok, understood, thanks.
*2 weeks later*
Contractor: Hey guys, was chatting to my manager last week and he said the company is finally looking to convert me to a full time employee, and best of all he wants to move me over to sit with you guys. Isn't that great?
..... not really no7 -
It's funny to see how a coworker of mine and me are very similar minded on some privacy stuff. He's a very cool/open guy and just a regular consumer (used the default services etc) but he shares quite some of my views. This is a convo we had today:
*got to the WhatsApp subject somehow*
Him: oh right, you didn't use that haha
Me: yeah 😅
Him: why was that again, privacy reasons or something, right? xD
Me: uhm yes *help*
Him: Well fair enough.
Me: so you'd think I'm right? I mean it uses end to end crypto... (I'm entirely with him in the next few lines but I always approach it carefully)
Him: they veeeery probably have some kinda fucking masterkey.
Me: why'd you think that?
Him: it has over a billion users, the owner is facebook, fb is directly integrated with several mass surveillance programs, they are known to work closely with one particular one, the intelligence interests are way too high for letting such an opportunity pass and after all, THE FUCKER IS CLOSED SOURCE AKA NO ONE CAN FUCKING VERIFY THE CRYPTO NOR THE APP ITSELF.
Me: I agree haha 😅
Him: it's not rocket science, it's modern day mass tracking/surveillance logic :)
I like that guy.5 -
So the country I live in is going to get a huge mass surveillance law. Currently we're trying to force a referendum because this is highly (privacy) intrusive. We can still sign them for a little bit and a friend of mine hadn't done that yet. His reasoning was that it I isn't binding anyways.
We've got this John Oliver equivilant in the Netherlands who did a piece about this.
I put it on for my friend saying that I just wanted him to watch it. If he wouldn't change his mind afterwards, I wouldn't pressure him or anything.
We watched it.
Afterwards he looked at me with eyes like 😵😧😷😲😮😫.
"they'll REALLY be able to do this shit!?!"
"where can I sign this fucking thing to get this referendum going?"
So I asked him why he suddenly was all for it.
"I'm not much of a privacy guy but this shit just crossed a fucking line".
He's going to sign it as fast as possible 😁6 -
Do you spell it github or jithub?
So this person i met on one interview.
// Looking thru my resume
P: so you have put this code on jithub right?
Me: yeah, on github.
... // A moment of silence from him.
So, which one is the correct?18 -
Working with a "senior frontend developer"
HIM: committed this code, and took him 2 weeks before his first commit on our project
var str = ''
if (string == 'String Here') {
str = 'stringhere'
} else if ( string == 'Another String Here') {
str = 'anotherstringhere'
} and so on ...
ME: WTF?
ME: can we do it like this?
ME: str = string.replace(/\s/g, '').toLowerCase()
Maybe he is senior by age :D10 -
Friday morning, taking a sip of coffee reading mails. (nb: I started the job on Monday, and this is my very first job excepted internship)
*wild manager appears* : come with with me a second.
Me: wtf is that
Him: close the door
Me: shit what did I do
Him: so we're closing this really big deal with a big client/investor
Me: ok cool, what is the point to tell me that ?
Him: remember when we discussed your salary and we couldn't afford to hire you as high as you wanted ?
Me:... Yes ?
Him: well now we can
Me, starting to understand: ... And ?
Him: well your new salary is higher than what you asked in interview
And that's how I got a 8% raise after 4 days at my first job :')6 -
The recruiter in call today is a spoilt brat .
I answer him wether am I know PHP. So I show him my code in PHP (oop) I show should him how I build a restful API and connect to MySql etc.
He told me that's not PHP , PHP don't use define and class , and that's not how you connect to MySql (I'm using PDO) he confused that pdo is something from Java. He told my code is not working because it is java syntax (actually not even closed)
Then I asked him then show me the proper way , he showed me his code in PHP which is started by <PHP instead of <?php (this is fucked up)
And I told him that (after looking at his code), he yelled at me that "there's no mistake, do you really understand PHP? " And he ended the meeting
All this happen in a zoom meeting.22 -
Recently i had to interview a guy with 10 years of frontend experience for a react developer role
Me : Do you know what ecmascript is ?
Him : Yes
Me : Which version would you prefer to use and why ?
Him : I dont use it. I am more comfortable with JavaScript.
Me : (totally confused) 😶
Him : (trying to be oversmart) I know you young guys prefer to use these fancy frameworks because you dont know how powerful raw javascript is.
Me : (Trying hard to not "react") Ok.
How would you "react" to this ?31 -
"Holy mother of fuck. This shit is soooo interesting."
- My roommate after I taught him basics of programming. May the main() be with him.12 -
I have had this conversation well too often:
- (him/her) Do you mind helping me with this problem I have on my computer ?
- (me) Sure, what is it ?
- (him/her) *proceeds to explaining the problem*
- (me) Ok, I don't know about this particular thing, you should try googling it.
- (the pissed off version of him/her) Never mind, I'll find someone who's willing to help me.
Please stop taking that as me not caring about your problem.
Googling things is basically what I do all day as a developer.
You really should try it. That thing is actually pretty useful.5 -
A child is deleting all the necessary files required to run games, softwares etc.. He thinks they're virus just because he can't open and play with them.
Now he clicked on game.exe to play his favourite game but this happened:
"Error: blah blah
xyz file is missing"
He is confused. He is blaming his father for buying the worst computer for him
This child is me, 8 yrs ago :')5 -
Working with a client...the resident """sysadmin""" hasn't actually been a sysadmin since the early 90s, the last OS he _actually_ managed was SunOS 5 or something. I can't remember what he said. He hasn't kept up AT ALL with modern technologies/terminologies. He's convinced SELinux is a security hardened kernel. We've explained to him several times that it's not but he sees Linux and thinks Linux 1.0 from the 90s. It's downright embarrassing.
Now this would all be well if I didn't have to interface with him often, but the client WILL NOT give me access to their systems. So I have to go through him to get anything done. Which is over webex. So I get to watch this guy type (and mess up) basic commands over and over (he isn't aware of tab completion of any of the bash features that are super useful). So I'm telling him what to type and the delay is always just enough for him to get too far in the command to back out, so its like SSH-over-incompetence with a 500ms ping. It's truly infuriating.
Every once in a while he'll get frustrated enough to hand me control of his webex session, which isn't as painful but once again the delay is bad enough it's still a pain.
Best part is that he looks EXACTLY like Milton from Office Space. So thats one plus to this whole situation!3 -
At an interview, the first round was an online coding round. Two questions, one easy one hard, 90 minutes, easy peasy.
I solved the hard one first.
A bit of good logic, followed MVC pattern, all done. Worked flawlessly.
Submitted code. Online compiler threw up an internal error citing java is an invalid command(jdk not found).
Called the invigilators. What I heard next, I couldn't believe this shit.
"We're not responsible for any errors you may be having. Figure it out yourself"
I was like WTF dude. This is not even a compilation or runtime error!
After a heated discussion, I made him look at the code.
Him - what is all this classes and all? Why haven't you written everything inside the main function?
Me - those are model classes. Those are different helper functions. That is a recursive function to avoid 5 for loops and use divide and conquer. Ever heard of OOP? what kind of person writes a 300 line program inside one function?
Him - no no we write it like that only. Correct this.
Me - I fit everything inside the main function. Still the same error, java not installed. Called the idiot to have a look at it.
Him - yeah your code is wrong.
Me - may I know what's wrong with it? Can you fix it please?
Him - no no we aren't allowed to see the code (he had already read it twice. It was compiling and running perfectly, locally) .
Yeah you solved only 1 problem, you were supposed to solve 2.
Me - yes because the rest of the time I had the pleasure of your company. (It isn't everyday that I see talking buffoons.)11 -
My programming teacher at university is programming like this. I'd better not learn anything from him30
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today a coworker came to me. he had some ideas on a program i made for him (he had the thoughts i did the programming).
he is really thankful for this program as it helps him a lot with his daily work.
we talked about an hour: he told me what he wishes and i explained him what i can do with my abilities.
after this talk i had like 8 to 10 changes to make - more or less big.
from 10 am to 2 pm i managed to work off 5 points, built the release and did the update on his pc.
been a long time seeing someone so happy :)
that was a great feeling. now i get some beer. cheers guys2 -
My apparently my friend's wife gets suspicious whenever his Snapchat goes off after 10pm, always wants to know who it is.
"It's [algo], it's always him sending me pics of his code late at night. That's is the only person that Snapchat me this late"
And it's true.6 -
We recently got a new trainee (Not sure if its correct germans correct me i mean "Praktikant"). This guy studied computer Engineering and canceld his studies to work as a developer. So this guy is working on a typo 3 Page for a Client and asks me for help because He got a follding error. Im in the last year of My studies btw. He sends me very Bad formatted HTML template file. I quickly correct the formatting and fix the 3 open Tags That He forogt to Close. send it back to him and walk to his workplace to See him integrate it to his own code again. He Double clicks the HTML file an Google Chrome opens. He then looks at me and says and Where is the code. I say to him That he just opened the HTML file with his Browser. And He responds with yes but i wanted to See the code Not this.
Im done for today 😑😑11 -
!dev !rant but a whole lotta devRant
After talking to a friend about joining devRant++ he said it was a path he could not follow. This is him soon2 -
My boss is on my line and isn't on mute. I can hear him drink his coffee. I'm much too annoyed for this shit right now.16
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Guy I work with: Hey can I borrow you for a minute
Me: sure. What do you need?
Him: so this is a project me an the other dev worked on
Me thinking: Well I know he did it all and sent you the project so don't tell me you worked on it
Him: so we use it to do this and this and send an email to this new account I made because (2 minute explanation)
Me thinking: I don't care. Just tell me what your issue is! I already know what it is and does from what you told me the last time when you showed me. Which took an hour of my time.
Him: so he sent me this code which is called <Descriptive name> and in the method we have variables call <descriptive name> and it returns a <variable name>
Me thinking: You mother fucker! I don't give a shit what your method is named, what it the variable names are, and you don't need to read through every line of code to me! Just from the descriptive name you just said I know what it does! What the fuck is your issue!?
Him: we also have these other methods. This one is called <Descriptive name> which does...
Me: are you fucking seriously going to read me your code line by line and tell me what you named your variables AGAIN!?
Him: and we named this one <descriptive name>
Me: you mother fucker...
Him: and it calls this stored procedure. (Literally opens the stored procedure and shows me) and it is called...which has parameters called... And it is a select query that inserts
45 minutes later after he finishes explaining all 3 pages of his code and his 5 stored procedures that the other dev wrote...
Him: So anyway, back to this method. I need to know where to put this method. The other dev said to put it in this file, but where do you think I should put it in here? Should I place it after this last one or before it?
Me thinking: You fucking wasted my fucking time just to ask where to place your mother fucking method that the other dev sent to you in a project with only 3 files, all less than 500 lines of code with comments and regions that actually tell you what you should put there and 5 small stored procedures that were not even relevant to your issue! Why the fuck did you need to treat me as a rubber ducky which would fly away if you did have one because you didn't have an issue, you just didn't know where to put your fucking code! FUCK YOUR METHOD!
Me: Where ever you want
Him: Well I think it won't work if I placed it before this method.
I walked away after that. What a waste of time and an insult to my skills and really unchallenging. He's been coding for years and still can't understand anything code related. I'm tired if helping him. Every time he needs something he always has to read through and explain his shit just to ask me things like this. One time he asked me what to name his variable and another his project. More recently he asked why he couldn't get his project he found online to work. The error clearly stated he needed to use c# 7. His initial solution was to change his sql connection string. 😑
He should just go back to setting up computers and fixing printers. At least then he would never be in the office to bug me or the other dev with things like this.7 -
yesterday my boss called me to his office.
(him) - Please close the door
(me thinking) - My God, this is gonna be serious. He never closes his doors
(him) - It's a common practice here that we buy a new laptop for new colleges. What kind of laptop do you have?
(me relieved and excited) - Well it's 4 years old shit, 8 Gb of RAM, slow
(him) - Great we'll buy you this i7, big SSD, 32 Gb of RAM + new monitor, mouse and keyboard.
I was excited as fuck.
Until he sent me what he bought. It's much worse laptop than that I have 😑 Only thing that is better is it has 16 Gb of RAM.
I guess I'll just take that RAM off it and put it in my machine (if it is DDR3, God please may it be DDR3)4 -
Manager: We are hiring a new graphic designer today. Can you get him settled in, please?
Me: Sure, I can do that.
Me: *shakes hand of new recruit.*
Me: I've heard great things about you.
Him: *starts going off on all his experience*
Me: that's great. Let's see what you got.
Several hours later...
Me: can I see what you got?
Him: just putting the last finishing touches on this logo.
Me: is that MSPaint!?
Him: yeah! It's good right?
Me: um...16 -
This is the only place where a developer can complain and find who understands him and give him advices.
Thanks ranters1 -
Our division lead's second in command offered to help me white board and get promoted.
This dude is one of my major role models. He would become my boss instead of the sexist, backwards tyrant of a bastard that I currently report to.
I asked him a question and wound up being told to join their study group and to let him know what I need help with in terms of resume, etc.
There are a few lights at the end of this hell hole of a tunnel. I have a few other options, too.10 -
Ok so the ex boyfriend (let's call him Joe) of a friend of mine is a dumbass
He wanted to hack her phone, or whatever, so hired someone on telegram to do it. He asked her phone number and 200€.
After actually giving him the money this guy sent a ransom asking for 2k to not turn Joe in.
Joe learned a lesson.5 -
So the Marketing department want me single handed recreate an app exactly like Alipay in 2 days? WTF? I told him that this is impossible ... he told me to "Use Template." He said he can even use wordpress to do it .
The problem is they need android app and ios , (nnon-webview)41 -
Old boy said to put my brother's old laptop to use for him because Windows is too slow. He just wants basic usage like news and checking his favorite sites. So, you know there's only one way to take care of this...install Ubuntu. He tried it, loved and now doing full install for him. Ubuntu saving old computers since..well since forever 😁7
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Everyday, my developer friend keep complaining and talking our manager bad words behind him. So i introduced devRant to him.
Him: what is this?
Me: An app specially designed for developers for sharing their programming life.
Him: *after installed* , how can i add ur account?
Me: you cant add me, bcx everyone don't know each other here. *walk away and continue do coding*
After few days, i realized he always staring at his phone, guess what? Lol3 -
I have a college that never seems to answer anything fully, just the bare minimum to make it seem like he did.
Regular conversations with him goes like this:
Me: “hey, I have a problem with this feature you added, I’m getting an error *insert error*”
Him: “yeah theres a script for that...”
Me: *wait for the script he mentioned*
Me: “whats the script?”
Him: “it’s FixIssues.sh”
Me: *looks for the script in the project*
Me: “hey, I can’t find it, where is it?”
Him: “here it is” *pastes a script into chat*
Me: “Oh, where can i find that in the project?”
Him: “you can’t”
Me: “???”
Him: “I have it in my OneDrive”
WHY CAN’T YOU JUST SAY THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE? Why this song and dance every time I ask something? This conversation could have been over in 1 minute but instead we both have to waste 15 minutes of our time to get this far.6 -
My buddy developer sitting beside me turns away for a discussion. I quickly grabbed his laptop, changed the IDE theme to dark and places it just like it was before.
It took him 15 mins to realize what I have done :P.
This is simple proof of how comfortable a dark theme is.9 -
just overhearing someone in my office,
he found a bug with someone's code who sits beside him,
I have now listened to him tell everyone in the team, blatantly pointing out the simple mistake he made, (parameter order)
In my mind im thinking this guy is a CUNT making himself look better,5 -
Hello DevRant, im a junior cloud consultant and this is my story:
Last monday a salesman, i call him bob, informed me that he planned me in a project starting next week. So far so good despite im currently working already in an other project....
I tried to explain him that its impossible to be on two locations at the same time.
His answer was quite funny because he said its my problem and he promised this the customer a month ago (without asking me or looking into my calendar)
As you can imagine the customer was not happy when i contacted him, to say him that the project could not start before may.
Of course this escalated to the managing director of my company. Bob tried to made it look that it was my fault.
After a long rant mail, where i told my story and about our incompetent salesforce i got a reply from him that he is sorry and a forced excuse mail from bob.
Happy End3 -
Lying bastard of a teacher.
Context:
This is year I'll graduate from my high school. But before that we have to pass the final examination. One part of that examination is presenting a project, which we should complete within this year. Each student has to choose a mentor/supervisor to help him on them on their project. I chose a professor who'll leave the school in January because of her pregnancy.
This is the part where the bastard, who asked me whether I use HTML or CSS for a website, barges in.
Given the fact that he incompetence be matched by his arrogance, nobody would ever choose him. He has to watch while other ring the other professors. He asks desperately for students, but everyone already has a mentor.
Yesterday he told me that my mentor will leave this January and that she already WROTE him an email where she asked him to continue mentoring her students. I was kinda confused, so I told him I would talk it over with my mentor and guve him an answer on a later date.
Today the truth comes forth. She didn't write anything. This bastard invented all of it. She even told us that she is aware of this guy is incompetent and that she would have asked a teacher with a good reputation.
But I'm furious. Not only did he waste my precious time with that conversation, which he follow up with the most basic way of time managing you could think of.
HE STRAIGHT UP LIED TO STUDENTS TRYING TO BOOST HIS NONEXISTENT REPUTATION.
I am not comfortable with a person like that being able to give me marks. Just yeet him out already!7 -
Man, this guy is fking useless.
I'm learning something new and ask him for help; he both mishears and confuses topics, so his explanations only ever make things worse. 😧6 -
Holy fucking shit!
Look, I know I'm kinda average, I actually think I'm kinda stupid... But holy fuck this new mother fucker at work is in a fucking new level of dumb ... OMG!
I'm actually thinking about asking my boss to let him go and this guy isn't even there for 2 weeks yet.19 -
Found out that the company I'm currently working, gave me only 6 mandatory holidays for this calendar year. When I asked my boss why is it too low, he got so furious as if I asked him to donate his kidney!10
-
Teaching new recruit some SQL (even though hes supposed to fucking know SQL and have multiple years experience but I was a contractor and idgaf, not messing up my money. Just fucking annoying to have an idiot around you all the time).
Me: Okay, so sys tables, so this one is for jobs yeah?
Him: Yeah
Me: Okay, so in this table, its obviously not one row per job per step cos you have multiple rows for the same job and step. Also, there is a datetime field, so what is it showing?
Him: Hmmmmm..... (after some time, back and forth we get to the answer).... history table
Me: Cooooooool, okay, so, lets say, I have a job with 5 steps. If i run it once, how many rows will be in this table?
Him: 5 rows.
Me: Correct, so if I were to have run this same job, 10 times, how many rows get inserted into the table?
Him: (Now...you have to understand, how long this thought process was, im trying to fill the gap with words but really, he was like, having a flashback or something...I kept quiet but silently wanting him to say anything....then he looks me dead in the eyes).... 10!
Me: Motherfucker what!?!? 10 What? If 1 time == 5, what does 10 times ==?
Him: Hmmmmmmmmm.... (yes...we are doing this whole flashback montage all over again)....... Ohhhhh, 1!
Me: .....Stop, think, its a history table. It holds history, for when every step is run for a job, why would it be only one row?
Him: OMG, I know what a history table is!!!!
Me: (Pissed off cos I don't take disrespect calmly). Fine, genius, answer, go!
Him: (LONGER WAIT THAN LAST TIME!!!!)....is it not 10?
Me: I swear, I'm gonna kill you one of these days.
Him: *chuckle*
Me: No...seriously....
TOOK 20-30 MINUTES FOR HIM TO SAY 50!!!!!!
And even then, I swear he didn't understand why. Serious, he was a special breed, had a manager that was a super tard and when I worked here, the spirit of that manager possessed this idiot, the CIO and his little right hand bitch zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
If there was ever a time I was willing to catch a case at work, it was there.
Bonus: Serious, it got to the point I had to come in and tell this idiot that he can only ask me questions today if he calls me by my name...and my name has changed today...and no, you can't ask me for it cos you need my name to ask me questions.....FUCK OFF kkthxbai.5 -
OK I can't deal with this user anymore.
This morning I get a text. "My laptop isn't getting emails anymore I'm not sure if this is why?" And attached is a screenshot of an email purporting to be from "The <company name> Team". Which isn't even close to the sort of language our small business uses in emails. This email says that his O365 password will soon be expiring and he needs to download the attached (.htm) file so he can keep his password. Never mind the fact that the grammar is awful, the "from" address is cheesy and our O365 passwords don't expire. He went ahead and, in his words, "Tried several of his passwords but none of them worked." This is the second time in less than a year that he's done this and I thought we were very clear that these emails are never real, but I'll deal with that later.
I quickly log into the O365 admin portal and reset his password to a randomly-generated one. I set this to be permanent since this isn't actually a password he should ever be needing to type. I call him up and explain to him that it was a phishing email and he essentially just gave some random people his credentials so I needed to reset them. I then help him log into Outlook on his PC with the new password. Once he's in, he says "so how do I reset this temporary password?" I tell him that no, this is his permanent password now and he doesn't need to remember it because he shouldn't ever need to be typing it anyway. He says "No no no that won't work I can't remember this." (I smile and nod to myself at this point -- THAT'S THE IDEA). But I tell him when he is in the office we will store the password in a password manager in case he ever needs to get to it. Long pause follows. "Can't I just set it back to what it was so I can remember it?"10 -
Tech support for Friend...
Again...
Ok...
A friend ran down the hallway to my Appartement, I opened the door for him and asked him "What The Fuck... Is wrong with you?!" He was just coughing like...
My... Laptop.... Is... Slow...
When he then eventually came to the point where he could Breath normally again I asked him to login into his by then super with shitty software bloated PC... It was a mess... A Desktop full of Shit... only Shit... I
then opened Chrome and Task Manager...
and holy shit... EVERYTHING! Literally ANYTHING was under 100% Load... Yet his shitty Fans werent spinning up... Shutdown the Laptop and opened it... not to my surprise it was full of Dust... I cleaned it and booted it again... still 100% Load... I couldnt do shit without being bombarded with porn and Hentai Ads... So... I asked him "Did you make any backups to this machine?" He was like.. "*Really long explenation* No *Really long Explenation*"
Great... i thought to myself... Then I said to him his PC was so trash that i only could Reset it to 0... He was like DO ANYTHING YOU CAN LITERALLY ANYTHING!
I then explained him, Resetting this PC Means literally 0 A Fresh start, nothing of your data will be there literally nothing...
He again Was like DO IT!
So I did... When it was done i showed him the result... He FREAKED OUT LIKE THE WORLD WAS GOING TO FUCKING END, HE SCREAMED AT ME WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE? REVERSE IT! REVERSE IT NOW!
I Then said to him, I reset it to 0, I said this would happen...
He then took his now perfectly running Laptop and Ran away...
tl;dr
Tech support for friend, Reset PC to 0, Freaked out AF...3 -
!rant
I met my old school friends today. One of them was apparently showing off his programming skills too much(let's call him X). So much that he(friend X) was comparing Linus Torvalds with himself. And he was telling us that Linux is best because there are so many DEs and customisations and blah blah.
So one of my other friend Y(who's not into computers much) asked him to install Ubuntu on his laptop while we were sitting in cafe.(Y wants to play with command line mainly this semester according to him) So he started complaining that he does not have ISO with him and trying to avoid it.
I said I have kubuntu iso he can flash it right away. Then he(X) said "Kubuntu is too complex for him(Y)".(me in mind : " yeah, just because its a. DE, it becomes complex") So I searched in my phone (faked the search, basically renamed kubuntu iso to Ubuntu iso lol) and gave him " Ubuntu " iso
And this "pro developer" installed that on his laptop and after installation was completed he said that "OMG DUUUDE UNITY IS DEAD, EVEN UBUNTU SWITCHED TO KDE AS DEFAULT DESKTOP ENVIRONMENT, ITS COOL".
FFS8 -
I was in class and this one guy was having difficulty with Word's auto correct. The teacher goes over to help him and this is what I overhear.
"Damn artificial intelligence... We need to make sure that we're always the ones on top and that we never give them to much control!"
*teacher then proceeds to discuss the dangers of AI with the entire class*
The funniest part is, this was in my Japanese class 😂4 -
Watching some Talent-Show with my family. There is this 16-years old pretty good singing boy. My father looks at me and you can read from his face: "Why can't you do sth. like this ?"
The next day I show him some really good webapps and games I made and he just says "Well, I don't care until you make money with this."
...
...9 -
I teach kids (7-12 years) to programming. Yesterday my colleague had the last class for this semester, where parents joined their kids to see what they done. They were presenting their projects, and a guy whose father is really strict with him, saw what variable names his son was using. Some of it (censored) are: "d*ck", "p*ssy", "f*ck". The guy is really scared of his father, because he's agressive with him all the time. I don't want to know what was his punishment for this.5
-
Old boss story. This guy was nice but a terrible boss. Also relevant, he has a background in IT so should know better.
Him: So when you wanna check a password is correct you just unhash it in the database?
Me: *facepalm*
Me: Hey we should be doing unit and integration testing at a minimum to lower bugs.
Him: We don't need those, we're not a bank. If a problem comes up we just fix it and push to production.
(A while later)
Him(in email): Why do we keep getting bugs reported. Don't you devs test your code.
I was mildly annoyed at that one.
Him: We're always over budget on projects, how can we fix this.
Me: What if we increase our quotes.(technically there are other ways as well but not really possible at that time)
Him: We can't do that, clients won't want to pay.
Me: *finishing off my handover as I'm leaving for a new job*
Him: Wow you do a lot of work2 -
This is what my roommate got handed to him at a lecture. Completely written in Comic Sans, everything is in fucking comic sans and it is not a joke! 🤣18
-
my boss: this fucking thing doesn't get done and everyone is coming after me about it
me, who doesn't have the access required to fix that for him:4 -
My little brother started learning coding AND design ar 12 years old and my only influence on this was telling him about it like two times.
Although he is, also, building a gun of wood so I really don't know what path he's taking there.4 -
Senior dev says "it is a piece of cake and it can be done in 2 days", when a new feature is suggested and assigned to me.. but when it gets assigned to him : "This is a big feature and there are lot of things that we need to decide, it will take more than 3 weeks".5
-
Refactoring someone else's code (the dude's a senior).
I'm a junior, just updated my linkedin, burnout activated, I can't deal with this kind of shit no more.
Outro: this is the nicest piece of code from him, every other line of code just .... just.... D:14 -
Started showing my brother some deep learning tutorials and I have him reading a book.
I really need for him to realize how smart he is. He was never academically inclined. I always told my mother that it had to do with the same dislike of school that I always had and how a couple of really shitty teachers could run one's motivation to the ground.
I always found him brilliant. Had a good standing with common sense amd logical thinking. He was interested in math for a while(same as me) but school made him hate it. He managed to pass all the state exams needed to graduate from H.S and was able to succesfully pass the military ASVAB with a very good grade.
But after H.S he went down the drain with what he wanted to do.
I love my brother and really want him to find out just how smart I think he is and this would probably be one of my biggest experiments with him. Maybe, just maybe if I get him to realize that he can understand these advanced concepts without a teacher his(fear?) Of school might go away enough for him to give it a second go. Fuck man I don't even need for him to go and get a B.S in comp sci, an associate degree would be just fine. It can be on anything, I just want him to do something.
Sometimes I feel as if this was my fault. At one point he told me that he feels shadowed by my grades. And my family was always proud of what I did in H.S and at uni. I feel(sometimes) that I should have paid more attention to him as he was going to school, help out a little more and encourage him more.
He feels as if he is meant for a dead end miserable working life, and I really can't bear the idea of him wasting himself away to something like that.
I really hope this shit works man...i really need for this to work, he doesn't even need to like it, just realize that it is possible.8 -
My boss...
With `Back-End` he understands `the Dashboard`. The system that is used only from company's employees.
`Front-End`, the software that is used by our customers.
I have explained him many times that he was wrong, but he seems to use this term. And now I have to use these terms like him.9 -
There is this guy at work who says "jit" instead of "git": "we have a separate jit repository for this".
I am torn between staying amused and telling him.12 -
So this is how they "teach" us in school...As a part time dev I was completely shocked when I saw this in our materials. What do you think? Should I drop the teachers tables to give him a lesson?14
-
Newly hired developer who calls himself ”senior” on linkedin has not contributed for 6 months. At least. I have been very helpful on many pair programming sessions. Directing him. Being extremely precise how things works and are working together. Small and big picture. He calls me and ask questions and I answer. Explain. Again and again. But it does not stick.
Nothing.
Extremely precise tasks. Written specifically for him.
Nothing.
He has like 10 commits in one year. It’s the worst I’ve seen in a developer role.
The other day in a zoom meeting he failed to declare a variable correctly. He copy/pasted a line instead and renamed the variable.
I saw this early. But I need not to work with him for a long time. It is now very clear that he will never contribute but in fact decrease the velocity of the team.
One year is a long time.
He is stupid. He can’t learn. Did he not tell the truth about himself when management hired him?
It so sad they hired him.13 -
Someone talk to me while I am busy.
Him: I think this table is in the wrong place.
Me:... Excuse me, I didn't hear you, what did you say?
Him: it's in the wrong place..
WHAT is in the wrong place motherfucker.. I didn't hear the whole sentence.. what the shit..
Someone else or it's just me?3 -
This fucking call is still going, and this asshat who should know how to do SIMPLE FUCKING COMMANDS LIKE MV AND CP is having a hell of a time and I'm about ready to throw my arm at him because I ok hurt like hell and hopefully knock some sense into his brain.4
-
This happened like 6-7 years ago when I used to do some logo and Web theme designs as a side job. There was this motel owner client who wanted me to make a website for him . he didn't give me much to go on except some themes he liked and some pictures of the motel. I finished the website on time but of course he didn't like it, he told me that he wanted it to be bluer(?). So I played with the colors a bit and showed it to him a couple days later, but now he didn't like the font that I used he wanted a font that stand out, like those Gotik ones; I politely told him it would not look professional when he refused I told him it would look like a teenage Lamer at Tumblr. After that he settled down for a less idiotic font. I finished the final cuts the next day and went to the motel to setup the website and show him how to use it. After a good hour of teaching him in the ways of the Internet I told him I needed my payment now. But the guy only wanted to pay half of what we agreed upon because I delivered it late and also didn't do his requests. I reminded him, that this is my job I worked hard for this. That he owed me what he promised. His counter argument was That all I do is press some buttons on a keyboard and that I don't know what working hard really means. That was the last drop. You see I usually have somewhat good pr skills but I can only tolerate limited amount of bulls*** at a time. So I deleted the www folder from filezilla and told him to go F*** himself and left. Never been a freelancer ever since2
-
Me: "ok for the following changes you must pay the following charge because it's not in the scope"
Customer: "bUt tHiS Is Not whAt I wanT, wOnT pAY thE ResT iF yoU arE nOt DoiN It blablabla"
Marketing: "please do it for him"
Fuck me.1 -
This is what being a security enthusiast does to you.
A little background : This is our team's designer who asked me to send him one of my pictures to put on my ID Card (that he is designing) for the event that I'm organizing along with my team. I have known him for about 2 years now but well, security awareness gave me trust issues because I apparently asked him to delete the picture he is finally using for my ID Card after he is done with the work. He must be thinking I'm crazy.
P.s. I still don't know if he actually deleted it or not but let's just give him the benefit of doubt and try to live in oblivion.19 -
The FCC Chairman is going ahead with his plan to repeal net neutrality despite objections from fellow commissioners, the CTO, more than a hundred members of Congress, senators and of course, the people.
What the fuck is wrong with this guy? How far up your own fucking ass does your head have to be to ignore basically everyone's vote against you? What the fuck. This guy is a really piece of fucking work. I hope this bounces back to bite him in the ass real hard.15 -
This is the most hilarious stackoverflow rant ever, quote:
"Strong cryptography only means the passwords must be encrypted while the user is inputting them but then they should be moved to a recoverable format for later use."
Full rant:
http://serverfault.com/questions/...6 -
A mate from highschool contacted me the other day, offering me a job on this grand new idea he had.
So I said: "Allright, lets hear it, whats the idea?"
Him: "Trust me, its the next billion dollar app! It is a whole new social network for..."2 -
You have to integrate company A system with company B.
You look up B`s api documentation, write the necessary code, test it thoroughly. Done
__________________________________
A wild dev from B has appeared!!!
------------------------------------------------------
him > you cannot use this SDK to implement this solution. You must use a different one...
You > (coming back to him after scouring through the docs) . Ok which sdk is it then? I can't find it anywhere. Could you send it to me pls?
him > I don't kbow, my knowledge doesn't go that far. Send an email to the dev department.
After sending the email, and spending a couple of days trying to figure out which sdk was he referring to. His department answers that the sdk you should use, is the one you already used. The only one they have.
A couple of days lost, because certain smart-ass could not refrain himself from meddling in the project.
What would you do?
Note: Killing him is out of the question :)8 -
Yesterday I experienced a developer related situation in a completely different scenario. Let me explain:
A friend asked me if he can borrow my angle-grinder. As I was curious, I asked what he needs it for. As he is not that experienced in woodworking he wanted to cut small piece of wood with it. Of course I told him, that this tool is a complete overkill and recommend him to use a small saw.
Now what makes this programmingrelated:
I believe that often unexperienced programmers tend to use to heavy tools for small tasks. His lack of experience let him choose the most powerful tool, but made him blind for analysis of the actual problem.5 -
Ok so we went to a graphic class seeking graphic designers for our game.
We pitchted our 3d fast paced speed running game. With highscores and shit. (We only have a week to create this game)
This fucking moron in the back of the class starts to rise his hand asking:
Is this a MMORPG?
Me: No this is no fucking MMORPG?!
Him: But i only want to design to a MMORPG
Me: Well we are not doing a fucking MMORPG..
Him: Can you change it to an MMORPG please?
Me: WTF NOOO!
Him: Okey you sure?
Me: YES... smh
Like why the fuck shall we change an idea to something litrally impossible to make in a week and that will fucking crash and burn like every Michael Bay movie ever...4 -
My coworker told me today that since my birthday was this week I could take Monday off. I was so stoked before I realized Monday is Memorial Day.
Considering the shit I pull on this coworker and the future shit I will pull on him. I have to say it was fair enough.9 -
I managed to get a new dell XPS 15 with uhd display, 16GB RAM and a nice i7 for work.
My boss previously asked for advice from me for which laptop to get, he ignored my advice which was for him to get a nice surface book pro for his excel activities
Instead he got a shitty Mac book air (who are these people who like the airs?). As his cto I was upset he didn’t trust his tech guy to choose him a powerful laptop that was useful.
Anyway, he saw my new laptop this week and a contractor was admiring it. My boss then said why didn’t you tell me to get this one? (The surface pro is the same spec but with tablet and pen ability).
What a dick. I’m still mad he didn’t listen to me. And now he is saying I never told him.
Macs are shit btw. This dell is great and I don’t know how we lived without uhd screens before.14 -
I have this guy who always post on his social media stories about how he is so good at programming and he has mastered “python” “R” and “JavaScript”. He just started programming early this year. February to be precise and thinks he is a badass programmer. Smh
How will I tell him codeacamy free certificates isn't knowing about programming and cramming syntax isn't programming also🤦🏽♂️13 -
This is quite interesting and one hell of a find by this guy... Google (and other browser vendors) should reward him:
https://jameshfisher.com/2019/04/...4 -
How to teach a 5 yr child to code?
The method is simple you don't need to teach him to code just help him to understand the method to execute a task. It took me years to understand that coding is a way to express what you want to say- the method and also is our expression. So, if you can help him/her to understand what to express, then I believe the method on how to express is totally unworthy. He/she can say printf("I know this") or print("I know this") or #I know this or he/she may create a new language.
Which you might call: The Baby's Code in future
If you like it do ++8 -
When the new keyboard you ordered arrives at work (it's for at home) and your team lead remarks 'that is a big dildo you got there'. I did fire back by asking him if he was jealous which led to sudden silence. Still disappointed in him, we do rib each other all the time but this feels sexist and inappropriate. I'm used to it and laugh it off but I'd still expected better of him.13
-
I'm so conflicted! My brother just opened VS Code and tried evangelizing me on the benefits of using a light theme! Should I disown him? Secretly sabotage his development environment? This is very distressing. Suggestions? Lol14
-
Rant!!
Fuuuuuuuuuuccccccckk this new dev hired is such a dick he keeps on not testing his own code for simple things and expects everyone else to test it on local and tell him his bugs.6 -
This is documentation at a noob-program level. We had this one teacher, who shall remain unnamed, who used single letter variable names everywhere, who couldn't understand his own programs when they were shown to him.
PS - The picture attached is supposed to be an implementation of Kruskal's algorithm. Don't ask me what the variables mean.14 -
So we have a bug.
Yesterday I spend the morning sorting through other people's code to find out what is causing this bug report it to team leader once I find it. He asks me find out who made it and hunt them down! So git blame... Turns out it was him :S felt awkward mentioning it to him so didn't. 5 minutes later team leader "oh it was me" -
Is it possible to provide feedback on a colleague's code, without him/her getting offended? I haven't figured this out yet..9
-
this cat always accompany our developers day and night.
he is a cat-code!
may god bless him health2 -
So how do you deal with the "brilliant jerk" who is the CEO's golden chlid?
Seriously - this is one of the biggest challenges of my professional career. I have team members that have begged to not be on projects with him and others that have threatened to quit if he ever moves into a leadership role.
Has anyone dealt with this?5 -
So, I was in the middle of a rant about how disorganized maintenance is this weekend, but husband said he might have to go to the ER for a headache that got worse after he passed out in formation and no one caught him.
Suddenly, I don't give a fuck about work. I want to be on a plane to him to be there in case the ibuprofen doesn't work and it's more serious than he thinks. He's less than a week from graduation. I just need him to come home so I can take care of him.3 -
Working with a client on his "superior idea" and suddenly this happens: (longer rant)
tl;dr;
Client wanted me to move a div by 3 millimetres to the left and blamed me for not being capable of doing so while giving him a nonsense about different resolutions and screen sizes. (Use a ruler, DUH)
Me: Here's the updated design layout as our designer specified.
Him: Looks good but it needs to be moved 3 millimetres to the left
Me: *Confused as hell* - Wait, did you just said 3 millimetres?
Him: Yes, is that a problem for you?
Me: *Amazed* Well, yes, you see, we don't measure in millimetres. We use pixels.
Him: Ahh, can't you do anything right!? Why do I have to deal with your nonsense of telling me that this is not impossible? Just take your god damn ruler and put it on your screen, then move it 3 millimetres to the left.
Me: You do realise that every person has a different size/resolution monitor so it won't work?
Him: I don't care. Just do your god damn job or i'll find someone else to do it.
*
Story continued in such manner - we spent an hour on skype moving the stupid <div> around until it hit his 3 millimetres mark.
*
His: See, you could do it.
Me: *Sends him screenshot of my own screen (his was 1024x768, mine 1920x1080) where page is broken and not aligned*
Him: Oh come on, you break every god damn thing. You are the worst. I'm going to find a better one. *hangs skype call*
Him: *3 days later* Hi, so, umm, I've talked to other developers and they said it's impossible to measure in millimetres. Can you revert those changes we did?
After all this I've fully realised that this person is sits at computer very rarely and does not how it even works...5 -
FUCK. This person who I have to avoid at social gatherings because I find him insufferably annoying is applying to my workplace and oh my God I hope I never have to work with him, at least the company is 700 people so the odds are relatively low?
Uggggg he's the worst. And I'm so easy going. There's like two people I feel this way about (fortunately the other lives in a different city).9 -
A rant about pretentious people:
So last week I walk into college and I find that a new "Machine Learning Crash Course" is being offered by a senior. Now I'm a beginner in this domain, and know the just basic concepts and math behind it. Naturally, I was super curious about this and decided to talk the student who was supposed to teach the course.
I asked him where he learned from, and mentioned that I'm an interested beginner. He just replied, "YouTube".
Okaaaaayyy?
Now I'm suspicious of this guy, so I asked him if he's worked on any related projects I could look into, to which he replies, "Not yet, but I'm working on some".
Now I'm SUPER suspicious. A guy that's got no experience with the subject, yet is teaching others about it?
Get this, at this point he rudely asks me if I have anything else to say. So I asked him a super simple question: "Do you know what gradient descent is?". He replies "Uhh, no, but I've heard about it".
I lost it.
HOW DID THIS GUY MANAGE TO CONVINCE THE HEAD OF THE DEPARTMENT AND SEVERAL OTHER PROFESSORS TO TEACH A MACHINE LEARNING CRASH COURSE?
People like him need to go away.
/rant4 -
A while back I took over responsibility for getting one of our developers up to speed, after the other guy basically gave up on him.
Management insisted that this new recruit was our guy. I was kind of going along, since I had been there during the recruits first meeting with us, and he seemed to know his stuff.
I was very wrong. He was suppose to have been working with kubernetes, but suddenly did not know what a container was. After explaining it to him, he said along the lines of “yeah, sure, I was only testing you, I know all about this”.
He did the same thing for a number of other technologies. Always said that he knew very well what it was, and that I did not need to teach him those things.
Yet, he always seemed to get stuck with basic stuff, like installing node, setting up env-vars, starting docker-containers locally and that sort of things.
I mean, it is perfectly fine to say that you don’t know. I even consider it a great answer; it shows honesty and makes me trust you more. But with this guy, it was just impossible to get him up and running, since he always “knew”, but yet always needed help.
We had to let him go. Since I had been the one who had spent most time with him, it was natural that I was to be the one to tell him. I was not looking forward to it, I’m not reallly a persons-guy. Still, I was calm and honest with him and basically told him that I had found it impossible to work with him, kind of harshly.
He then asked me if he could put me on as a reference for his future job-applications. I told him politely that I did not think that was a great idea. He asked why, I told him I would be unable to say anything that would benefit him. He then asked me to lie.
I didn’t know what to say, except for “no!”. Never saw him again after that.3 -
My SO got a promotion, and with it he's going to be out of town about every other week.
I told him I'm excited for him, that even though I'll miss him it's a sacrifice I'm happy and willing to make because it's so good for his career, and our future. I don't want him to distracted during his work trips about worries about my unhappiness.
But I miss him and this is so hard actually 😔10 -
in C I use {} for ifs even when they have a single line. for some reason, my C proffesor hated this. For him, this is the equivalent of Tabs vs Spaces.15
-
We hired a new senior dev. The lead architect is going over basic bit branching and commits with him. This new job already feels like a dumpster covered in petrol.3
-
So I've been working on this website now for a while and I'm finally near the end.
The client suddenly writes to me to ask me why there is captcha on some of the forms (register, post). He asks me to remove all captchas.
I explained to him why captchas are important and I even told him one old story of mine (basically I was noob and made that fatal mistake and suffered).
His response is to remove them anyway he didn't like them.
My response?
I keep this conversation in text form and screenshots, and I keep backups of it.
I have a feeling I'll need them.6 -
Caught a co-worker's gigantic fuck up today – dude totally wiped important code off master with a terrible git rebase + git push.
Gave him the nicest earful I could muster, but I think this is one of those times where I'm allowed to be royally pissed.5 -
Yesterday I was hanging with the guys from our Records dpt in the staff lounge. Their manager is a pretty nice talkative guy. Everything was going well until this happened..
Him: Hey you, I have an idea for an app. You can"definitely" help me, right? Or someone you know who also does the code thing..
Me: It depends. Just before you tell me about this idea, know that you'll be paying me or whoever will be doing this job unt..i..l *he interrupts
Him: Paying? I thought it was a one time or few hundreds of dollars. Why do I have to keep paying when you haven't finished the app?
Me: Did you finish your entire work this week?...but you're still getting paid next week, right?
Him: Oh crap, makes sense. Ok, how about I pay you the amount you charge then, that's it?
Me: See, you don't get it. I know once the app is done, you'll come back to me to fix and update things. When that time comes, you'll have to pay me again. And with the initial payment, don't just think you pay me and that's all... you'll...
Him: Crap, I have think more and come up with a plan for this.. nevermind, I'll keep you updated.
I think I made him sad knowing that, this sort of things doesn't happen easily.2 -
So I'm not sure whether this actually is a believable story or not but I think I'll just share the saddest moment in my life with you.
So.... I've been working with a boy 0.5years younger than me on a project in Java so he could learn something about programming. I was actually dictating him code because he wasn't able to JUST WRITE ONE SINGLE LINE OF CODE WITHOUT ASKING ME HOW TO DO SHIT!!! So I dictated him a for each loop:
Me: "for ( Foo foo colon foos ) {doSomeShit();}"
Him: "for ( Foo foo .. foos ) {doSomeShit();}
For your understanding: in German colon means doppel punkt / double dot. I didn't think someone actually writes two dots... THIS IS SO FUCKING SAD
Please don't blame me for being a bad teacher. I'm inn a class with him and I know we did that in class. I also thought it multiple times to him6 -
that one legendary guy who cranks out code and builds insane features. PMs (product management) love him because he builds features in several months which 10 devs together couldn't have built in the same time (so they say), features that are loved by customers as well, become their new standard and that have saved our company's asses in the past.
features are really awesome, performant and have very few bugs (compared to the rest of the software シ).
but this guy seems to live for this job. he also works at weekends, at unholy times of day and night and even in his holidays (he doesn't care that this is actually illegal, in terms of employee's rights, and he wouldn't listen to his superiors, no matter what they tell him)
so far, so good - except that he will probably die of some stroke or something very soon due to this lifestyle.
but it must be an absolute pain in the ass to work with him, as long as you're a developer (or his superior).
he lives in his own world and within the software, his features are also his own world. since the different modules interact with each other, sometimes you would be assigned a bug that might have its cause in some interaction of your and his module. talk with him about it? forget it. he wouldn't answer most devs who contacted him for some reason. ever. fix it in his module yourself? might happen that he just reverts your changes to his module without comments. so some bugs would lie on your desk forever because theoretically you know what would need to be done but if you cannot reach out into HIS world, there's no way to fix it. also - his code might be good in terms of performance and low bug numbers. but it seems to be hard to work on that code for everybody else but him.
furthermore, he is said to be really rude. he is no team player, but works on a software that is worked on by a huge team.
PMs think he's a genius, just a great dev, but they don't understand that other devs need to clean up the mess behind or around him.
everyone who's been his superior so far recommends to get him fired, but the company wouldn't fire him because they don't want to lose his talent. he can just do what he wants. he can even refuse to work on certain things because he thinks they are boring and he is not interested in them. devs seem to hate him, but my boss said, they are probably also a bit jealous because of his talent. i think, he's not wrong. :)
i haven't actually met him so far or was actually "forced" to deal with him, but i've never heard so many contrastive things about one person, the reputation of his, let's say vibrant personality really hurries ahead. he must be a real genius, after all i've heard so far, like he lives in the code. i must say i'm a bit curious but also somewhat afraid of meeting him one day.
do you also have such a guy at your company?12 -
My non dev friend called me in middle of night for getting shortcut virus removed! I would have blasted 🔫 him but I felt pity on the guy as I know that he is poor with tech stuff
Any he had only windows, so I Google up solution and replied back to him.
He asked where to put it. I told him in cmd. He is like what so I told him to press win+r then in that type d and "black" 🏴 window will appear. Type in that.
guess what he typed exactly as mentioned in the reply and didn't replace the drive name properly .😑
I told him to put proper drive and saw that he missed spaces so l told him that he missed space 😤 and he put only one space and it still had problem so I had to explain it in weirdest was possible( shown in fig 1.1 had been writing report and figure gave yo be mentioned with number 😅)
Finally. It was all done! Well some pf my cs ( !counter strike but computer science friend) are worse then this can't use teminal or even connect to WiFi (wpa-enterprise @ college with mschap v2 and peap auth which is crackable using twin tower and brute force) properly, do I guess it not BA's that this guy cry to get rid of shortcut virus (virus > wifi setup) 😬
Finally I feel relived after ranting 😪5 -
Well, everytime I build a pc for a friend I'll always end up telling myself "this is the last time". Not bc I have a problem with building pc's, I love it, but its the "free of charge" 24/7 IT-support my non techy (techii?) friends expects from me after the build is done I hate.
So here's the deal.
A week ago I built a brand new pc for a friend, as usual (bc he's a good friend) I told him that my "fee" would be a couple of beers and the train ticket up. So I got there, built the pc and we hooked it up to his monitor. About 5sec in to windows the screen went black. My friend started to panic, and I started to check if all the components and cables were hooked up right (tho I've done this a couple of times, shit can happen) but found nothing was wrong.
I had to take the train home, cause it got late AF and I live in another city, but I told him to try another cable. Felt bad AF for not being able to help him.
Flash forward 2 days, my friend started messaging me late in the evening, complaining about how he had tried everything and ultimately had to leave the pc at an (as he called it) "proffesional" who charged him 100$.
I felt even guiltier about that one, asked him if he tried to change the hdmi, but he said that's in The hands of this guy now.
Two days later this PC God gave him an answer.
Guess What he told him?
CHANGE THE ***** HDMI CABLE.
Well, shit..
Afterwards he wanted help installing drivers over fb-messenger.
I love my friends, but man why do I do this to myself.3 -
!rant
My colleague saw this code of mine and said it is annoying conditions are not on the same line, since it is a shared project I can't go "that's my style!"
What do you think should I convince him why we need to follow this approach (at least it can be easily read rather than reading a screen wide line)26 -
This incident is from my college days.....
I saw one of my friend was arguing with his project partner. He was pretending to know everything in programming better than his partner.
Just for fun, I asked him to implement single linked list by using arrays/pointers (I gave him 20 mins and told him to do in any programming language he is familiar with). He was not able to do, so I suggested him to use Google and see if he can find something which can help him with implementation....
Within 10 min he came with a solution which was working fine. So I asked how does he implemented, and what does the methods do.... As expected, he was blank and I got to know he copied entire solution from Stackoverflow.....
A thought came in my mind:
Just by knowing copy/paste won't make you a programmer....... <\>4 -
Our non-tech customer asked for instructions to deploy our system on any Linux OS. We've written the instructions and sent to him.
Today he sent us an email asking what is this 'git clone' on the first command.3 -
Our new IT support college (I've been the support for like almost 2 years into the company and then I moved onto another project) asked me about how to configure a printer over LAN. I explained him the whole procedure and after he asked me what does the gateway IP means, I explained him that it's a router, switch or another device that know how to forward packets on to other networks and gave him an example like 192.168.100.1 and told him that usually is the router's/switch IP address and is the same IP address as the static IP of the printer but with .1 at the end instead of the last number set. After that he asked me: "Like this? 192.168.100.25.1?"3
-
So this just happened. Some background before I begin: We're understaffed, my desk is in the back of the building, and there's no one really at the front to greet people. No security either...
Guy walks in wearing a flannel jacket (no shirt under it), pajama pants, and sandals. He looks like hell. Explains he was just released from a hospital and his apartment is locked. I let him use my phone to call his sister.
When I talk to his sister, she barely wants to speak with him. Tells me his apartment is locked for a reason and he's not allowed back. I'm just like: "So... what would you have us do for him?" At this point if his sister won't help, I was going to ask him to leave. Oh, and that hospital was a drug rehab.
So it ends with him waiting for a ride, but he ends up napping on the couch in the front of our office. CEO/Owner and his business partner walk right past and say nothing. They go into a meeting. I'm trying to figure out if I ask him to leave, wait outside for his ride... I'm a developer, this isn't my job.
A good 45-60 minutes later, after the guy walked outside and then came back in and laid back down on the couch, he leaves with his ride. Shortly after the owner walks out of his meeting, so I ask him what to do in this situation - more hoping he'd realize the need for more security.
If this story isn't crazy enough, the business partner pipes up - absolutely serious - and says he didn't say anything because he thought the guy was a developer.
So I've learned that we've got extremely low hygiene standards for developers here, with a relaxed dress code and are allowed nap times on the front couch.
Thankfully our CYBER security is better than our PHYSICAL security. :|1 -
!dev
I'm so goddamm fucking tired of this fucking shitty ed sheeran fucking.
Fuck ed sheeran, fuck this bland predictible squared music.
I mean, not him, the music.
Jesus fucking christ, every fucking uber I take this shit ass song is playing.
I heard this song like 50 times already, I'm not even fucking kidding.
This is the musical equivalent of being a passive smoker.10 -
My boss has been begging me migrate a nightmarish complex excel report he made to calculate the payout of a tiered rebates program with compounding rewards. Today I finally decided to make take the time and I sat down with him so he could break it down for me...
Me: *looking at the mess of formula's* it would be easier to rewrite the math than decode this - can you just give me the reward rules... where does that value in cellX come from?
Him:*pointing at the spreadsheet* There! All the rules are in there for you :-)... like it's some big favour...
Me:No I mean when you wrote this, what did you base this off? There must be something...
Him: *Very Gravely* No, no, no it's far to complex! It took me ages to get this sheet right and it balances so just trust me and use it ok?
At this point I will mention he's an accountant so yeah I fucking trust him... fast forward past 15 minutes of digging through what may as well be quantum theory and lo and fucking behold all 2 sheets and 100 calculations are mathematically fucking pointless. Aside from formulas like this:
$X10=+(((O10+P10)-((O10+P10)*$X$3))*$R$4)+T10
which is actually equal to (X10/R4)/L10.
Anyway once you compound and sum the "tiered" benefits the rewards payout is ALWAYS = customerSpend*1.81.
This is why programmers name variables. -
The tale of the asinine Typescript framework guy continues:
>guy makes a framework
>promotes it
>people don't wanna use it because it's mediocre
>doesn't care, he still promotes it
>people started criticizing his framework
>won't listen
>calls his critics haters
>thinks PH tech guys are way behind the world
>says a lot of bad takes in tech himself
>such as NodeJS used as a front-end
>people tryna correct his bad takes
>calls them haters too
>people start complaining
>gets banned in many PH tech communities
>except one
>total windbag in there
>somebody calls him out, explains why they hate him
>he says his framework will be famous and we will all be eating dust
>heckler tells him he is not only the person in the open source community and tells him a famous Filipino open source contributor
>says he doesn't know this famous contributor and he doesn't care
>challenges heckler to confront him face to face
>heckler calls his bluff and gives a place and time to meet
>big guy agrees to meet
>people are clamoring for him to shut up
>admin tells him and the heckler to shut up
>big guy pushes it
>calls the admin (female) a puta (whore)
>gets banned
>goes on Facebook saying that his heckler will not show up in that place despite it being the favorite hangout place of the heckler since 2017
>that he is being banned because of haters
>people call him out on his Facebook posts and he takes them down
>people in the tech community started thrashing his Github with prank forks and PRs
>guy tries to shame them on Facebook
>gets rekt by tech people
>goes on Twitter saying that backward PH devs are oppressing him
>even tagging the famous devs
@marcusignacius I have lost total sympathy for this guy and his framework. Arrogant, petulant, childish, and uncharitable. honestly he brought this on himself.
Somebody honestly slap him this rant on Twitter pretty please.rant philippines arrogant arrogant oblivious asshole typescript stupid people communities stupidity framework nodejs22 -
How I confused an Indian co-worker.
I noticed that his office desk was using a multi-outlet power strip connected to another one, and then one more after that, because the cable length was too short.
Me: pointing out that this is not allowed in our company.
Him: dafuq-look.
Me: yeah, electrical safety, we need to replace this. Gonna ask IT whether they have something (they did), replaced it.
Him: different dafuq-look.
Me: I guess that's the most German thing you've run into, right?
Him: uh, yes, but I can see the point. :)9 -
What a sad and frustrating day!
I got a call from recruiter. I told him that I'm not actively looking for change. But he requested for 2 mins to listen. He started telling about his company, how great it is, tech stack, perks, salary etc. He is telling everything but not company name, I waited patiently and asked what's the pay I can expect. The number blew my mind, it's nearly double to my current pay. Then...
Me: that sounds amazing, which company is this, and where is it?
Him: it is <my company name> and located at <my current location, same campus>
Me: .....
Him: so, what do you think?
Me: .... I need some time. Let me update my LinkedIn profile first and then, i will get back to you.
Him: sounds wonderful, will call back by Monday. <Call disconnected>
Me: <inside my head> @$_-$#(/+&_#
This in my 10th year in this company, some one kill me please.5 -
Me: hey mr backend guy, front end guy here, having some trouble with $thing, here's a detailed explanation of my issue, could you let me know if $thing is still active?
Him: hi
Me: ... hi, so about that issue I'm running into...
<crickets time="1hr"/>
Him: ok........checking ....
<crickets time="2hr"/>
Him: (offline)
SSSSSSOOOOO guess I'm figuring this one out myself -
Colleague while reviewing my latest commit.
Him: Hey, RemusWasTaken, why did you leave this debug log in here?
Me: That function won't work unless I leave that line exactly there.
Him: It can't stay, come here so we can fix it.
Three hours of debugging later, this Friday afternoon.
Him: Okay, I give up. Let's leave it there for now.
Me: I did the same thing yesterday. Time well spent.
Nodejs is weird sometimes, or we are incompetent devs.5 -
So apparently the CIO knows all about my team lead sucking it up as a boss, and is letting him do it. He's constantly on the team leads ass about stuff and it's stressing him out.
The CIO wants him to stop being so micro managey and let the team handle things... But instead of telling the team lead that, he'd rather just blast him constantly and stress him out which makes it roll onto us and stress the whole team out.
I wish the CIO would just tell him to square up or just fire him... This stress isn't good for anyone. -
Very off topic but I had to vent somewhere.
My brother is a dick to everyone (except to people who can give him promotions) and especially to the family.
He bragged about being aggressive in his workplace for years to his peers and to people 'under' him.
Now he insulted the wrong person and got fired.
Is it bad that this made me happy, seeing justice served to him?3 -
Messenging with a friend about me working with VBA on a side project.
Me: VBA brings back bad behaviour
Him: Like?
Me: I_AM_KONSTANT and this is a _globalVariable.
Him: Hahaha^^
[...]
Me: Mister O. ...
Him: Mister M. ?
Me: Should i use goto?
Him: I think we need to break off contact.
Him: If you had said you killed someone. Ok.
Him: But GOTO?
[...]
Me: I did it. And then a cold shiver ran down my back.
Him: You deserve that!
____________________
( translate from German )4 -
It has been a week now since a co-worker and I started mentoring this intern who joined our team. I have to say it is quite satisfying. His reaction when I told him about lambda functions and list comprehension in Python was gold. I feel good teaching him stuff and the best part is that he's ready to learn, has a brain of his own that he uses and I'm hoping I learn stuff from him too!!!
-
So I recently returned from university and was catching up with people. Then this guy(childhood friend) who is in EE was "asking" me about how my academics were going. So I was describing my cs classes to him until he suddenly interrupted me saying he knows "how algorithms work" and also that IT == CS. I tried my best to explain to him that it is not the same thing, but his ego just couldn't allow me to talk. He continued on forcefully about how he did a project in java that used SQL and blahblahblah. After he was done exhibiting himself, he asked me what languages do you know(LOL)? When I tried to explain to him that cs is not about learning languages, the guy proceeded to interrupt me again and tell me how his curriculum is hard so as to imply that mine is shit. Finally, this human waste told me to "open java" so that he could code, I opened up my terminal, which he responded to by asking me "What is that?"2
-
I went to a friend to help him learn angular. I asked him to show me his code, he opened sublime text, the code was all white ...
- aren't you using a TS plugin ?!
- what is that ?
- since when are you coding like this ?
- more than a week ...
I installed the plugin, than showed him VSCode.
Hi bought me a beer later c:1 -
Describe one devRant member in the comments (not yourself)!
@trogus is designer that made devRant the beautiful place it is now. It is often overshadowed by @dfox, but without him, especially the beautiful avatars, this place wouldn't be half as popular as it is.49 -
Absolutely not dev-related.
Blah, blah, weird conversation and shit. I'm too tired and lazy to write this crap again, but let's do it.
The guy is a dev I randomly found on some chatting service, he was interesting to talk with until this conversation. I'll write this out of memory, so yeah.
Him: So by the way I wrote an app that you give your penis size to to get measurements and stuff about it.
Me, thinking it was dev humor: That's hilarious. Tell me more, I'm interested.
Him: So the idea behind all of this was to gather some big data style info about people's penis size and habits and all that stuff.
Me: Man that's awesome. Can I see the source?
Him: No, it's proprietary. You can buy a license though.
Me: You went that far for a joke?
Him: What joke?
Me: The whole software you just told me about.
Him: That's not a joke, I'm being very serious about it.
Me: Oh well. What did you get from the stats?
Him: I got some tips from people's habits! I never thought that shaving it could make it look bigger, but that's awesome!
Me: Do you really care about it that much?
Him: Studies have proven that size correlated with confidence. Since I started doing it, I've been more confident than ever!
Me: Great.
Him: I'm a bit disappointed to see that I'm in the lower percentiles though.
Me: Well of course you are.
Him: Why would you say that?
Me: Well since people with a big dick tend to go more willingly into the subject and might even buy a fucking app for it, of course you'd have the higher average in your stats.
Him: You're only saying that because you have a small cock.
Me: Why the fuck would you say that? You're the one that's concerned about it, not me.
Him: Go on, what's your size?
Me, because I don't care about discussing that stuff: *Tells him*
Him: [stats, comparisons and stuff]
Me: Well I never gave a fuck and your stats won't make me change my mind.
[ ... Some other shit about my size compared to his ... ]
Him: Would you want to work with me for the database maintenance?
Me: You must be joking?
Him: I'm serious.
Me: *Deletes account*
Seriously, fuck that guy. I rewrote that quickly so you only had the best, but it was a whole fucking conversation.3 -
While I was working on a university project with my team, a teammate asked me why the window of the program in my screen was bigger than in his. I simply answered him that his screen was a FullHD one that had a 1920x1080 resolution, while mine had a lower resolution, and he was like "Noo! This isn't a fullhd screen, it's not so sharp".
So I showed him the "1920x1080" sticker right below his screen, and him again "Yeah, it could have this resolution but definitely it's not a FullHD screen".
- Ok, as you say...
The same guy two days ago was talking about creating a GUI in C.
I told him that C was the wrong language to build programs with a GUI, although there's some very old libs that allow you to do that in 16bit.
And him again: "Ok but Linux (distros) do that and the UIs are great!"
- Do you think that all the fucking Ubuntu/Mint/any distro code is written in C??
The funny thing is the arrogance with which he says all these bullshits.
P. S. We are attending the 3rd year of Computer Engineering.6 -
What can you do with people using so many times git force push ...
* explain gently this is not necessary
* punch him/her everytime you see it
* other stuff that is not in the above list7 -
Oh gosh... This week a "friend" of mine will have a job interview for a company I am working at. This guy really just can't Code. He has no understanding of clean code, abstraction etc. He just knows the basics. But he loves to brag how good he is and got his bachelor degree. Damn I hate this guy and I hope HR won't hire him.7
-
I've really struggled to make friends with people who code... and it's been absolutely frustrating. Does everyone in this industry have a god complex or something? Everyone I try to make friends with ends up being super narcissistic and self obsessed it's crazy. One of them wanted to be my mentor a while back, and we still talk occasionally, but after getting to know him I decided I didn't want to learn from him. It turns out he only mentors people to showboat his greatness and claim later that all their success is directly his doing. I decided I wasn't going to be one of those people and I only ever had 2 sessions from him. One of the best choices I've ever made. But I've found a lot of people who are programmers tend to be a lot like him. A lot of them I talk to will hit me up to brag about themselves or what they've done. But none ever ask what's been up with me or how my journey is doing? Is this just a normal thing in this industry or am I just meeting terrible people. It's made me appreciate my slightly dumber friends, cause at least they care about me and it shows.
More a rant than anything, but genuinely curious if anyone else has this issue... I'm starting my bootcamp soon and I'm hoping to make friends but I'm so concerned about this it's kind of giving me anxiety.14 -
Some kid keeps asking me how to session hijack. I keep telling him there's no point if:
A. You're not on the same network as him / her (I'm sure there are exceptions to this but normally you'd have to be on the same network)
B. The connection is encrypted
He doesn't understand either of those things. Not to mention it's illegal unless you're given consent.7 -
This senior dev of mine is so good that he always reminds me to finish the bugs and yeah, fixed it, and sent the codes to him. The hell's wrong with him is that he hasn't upload the codes i sent to him.2
-
The height of procrastination:
One of the front end developer told me to change few things in two services I told him it’ll take one or two hours (although I did it in 15 mins). I just called him to say I’ll give this tomorrow morning its a long task. While the reality is I am too lazy to build the war and deploy.🙈2 -
Today is the first day of the last year of my bachelor's degree.
It's also the first day of work for one of my closest friends.
I wish him the best for this new adventure.
Good luck my friend and have a nice day !1 -
I saw this and had to think of AlexDeLarge. This is the perfect weather app for him. https://thenextweb.com/apps/2018/...5
-
My fellow developer just sits next to me and is very nice person. But he keeps peeping into my screen and say -
"oh, why are you looking into x "
"oh, so you looking into y"
"oh, there is blog post on this"
It really turns me off :x
How to tell him politely that I don't like this.16 -
After wasting 30 minutes on slack, Asked a dev where he was, so I could go to his fucking seat to help him fix his issue.
Dude sent me his pwd from shell.
Idk what's the worst part, it's not my job to help him fix issues and I'm trying anyway, or that this guy is the topper from my class in college...3 -
What a 'nice' feeling.. 15 mins before the conf call with a client, a coworker comes to me to ask how some feature is working. OK, wouldn't be a problem if it wasn't him developing it.. O.o I just know he was working on this, no details, no nothing.. Don't even know where in GUI to find the dialog in question.. So I asked him if he tested it and if it is working like he descirebed to the customer.. Guess what?! He didn't know the answer to either question.. nice... O.o
-
TLDR boss is an idiot.
Boss has an issue. Sends screenshot, and a one sentence explanation, boss-style (not really clear, but the screenshot helps).
I set to solve it, not a minute passes, the boss os calling.
Explains the issue, i tell him I'm working on it, will msg when done. He explains the problem again, and tells me to hurry. I tell him, sure, let's hang up, give me five minutes, so he starts explaining again, that it's IMPORTANT.
Finally hangs up, it didn't take more than 3 minutes to solve it, msg him, it's done. test it, screenshots for the two parts i solved (of the one he wanted corrected and one where a similar case is still as it's supposed to be, not altered).
He calls me, I start telling him this us what I did, the screenshot.... *Interrups*
This is not what he needed, it's important, IMPORTANT i say, and tells the problem again.
I'm pretty annoyed by now, and just calm fuckoff mood comes over. I practically told him to click the link and see for himself....
if you want to take 10 minutes for something i would explain in 2 sentences, is it really that important....6 -
PM keeps asking me for a report on page hits. I've given him page hits, page views, page visits and his reply is always the same...
"No, this means nothing to me. I want page hits/visits. Google analytics!"
I'm like O_o ...3 -
A guy living next to my house came to me and told me to install Linux on their computer. Being a Linux lover, I was happy to see him switch. I installed Elementary OS Loki, installed nicest theme and conky I had. After tons of other tweaks and customization, I gave it to him, motherfucker told me this is not Linux and what he wanted. He wanted Kali, don't know what the fuck he was going to do with it. This piece of shit wasted my time,3
-
Heard that this morning.
Someone trying to teach somebody programming: you’ll see, programming is easy. We’ll start slow, I won’t teach how to code in c++, java or linux...
🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
How do you want to teach him programming if YOU THINK LINUX IS A PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE!!!!!!!!!!3 -
86 lines of code...duplicated 3 times in the same file...and only a single integer constant is different. This is the shit that makes my day to day work tedious.
Im glad I dont personally know the previous dev, he would get his throat punched...though calling him a dev is more of a compliment than he deserves.2 -
Classmate : *Makes trashy PR on my repo to get hacktober PR*
Me : *is disgusted, guides him what to add in the PR to make it better*
Classmate : ok, *closes PR*
<4 Hours later>
Classmate : *new PR, this time worse and wants me to merge*
Me : (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻1 -
I like my work colleague, great to talk to, bless his heart, however he has this mysterious power to make whatever he writes sound super passive aggressive or aloof. For instance:
Me: this request , to clarify you want me to do this, as per this document
Him: is that what you presume?
Me: 🤨2 -
Was in a meeting with the execs and the boss singles me out and asks me where is this functionality at. I told him the dev working on it will have it ready today. He goes no no no this needs to happen now. I am speechless have no idea how to tell him this employees are working very hard and is doing the very best with the limited time we had. I personally was up at midnight coding to deliver on time. That was the start of my bad day ... crap just pilled on :/1
-
Jesus fuckin' Christ. I own a webshop together with someone else. This guy is so fuckin' stupid. Yesterday I've deployed a release to our acceptance environment. I talked with him extensively about it. This morning I texted him to check out all the new stuff.
5 minutes later he texts.me back: I would suggest changing option x. Uuh... what option x? We don't have that any more.
Dude! What the fuck! We talked extensively about acceptance testing so you know it is in our acceptance environment, not production, asshole.
And then again, he asks for the link to the acceptance, which I gave him twice already.
Are you really that stupid??1 -
Our intern is leaving because school started this week and our PM said it would be nice to give him something as a parting gift:
"Let's make him a T-shirt and write something in frontend on it"3 -
We got a new intern this Monday and we were getting to know him. I heard that he is a left handed. So I asked him which hand do you use for coding. He said "I have to see. When I get a keyboard I'll type c and tell you"4
-
A client wants me to build his website. He want a WordPress one, with a tool named Elementor to let him build stuff and upgrade the website by his own.
Seriously, Wtf is this shit !? That's a pure nightmare to work with !5 -
Today I fucked Up by making friend install Linux when he doesn't even know what OS is.
Friend's Windows 7 broke. Unbootable & unfixable. I told him to reinstall. He has no idea how so he told me he will rent a PC (apparently that's a thing) until he buys a new one (he wanted it anyways). I told him it's bullshit to rent for PC when yours is totally ok only without OS.
He agreed and that's where I fucked Up. I told him how to make bootable flash disks(it was pain to get some info from him tho..) and he said he downloaded cracked Win7.. I told him it's suicide to use cracked OS for MANY fucking reasons. He agreed and I told him to install Ubuntu.... I thought it's easy that even my grandma could use it...... Well, apparently I was, in technical terms, "FUCKING WRONG"(all caps cuz tech terms).
He wasn't even able to Google how to install Steam on Ubuntu(apt install steam?) ... Constantly asking me "well and what should i write to Google?" And other shit..
I Always woke up to messages From him like "This shit doesn't work I'mma uninstall it" and I Always responed in one command or first Google result and it suddenly started to work.
After 2 days he gave up and is using cracked Win7. Can't wait for his reaction when I pwn him on nearest LAN party 😂 Maybe he will reconsider using cracked OS.
Anyway I learn from my Mistake. Just fuck me...4 -
There's this Senior Developer here at the company I work for, and every single project he works on (usually APIs), the return status codes are always 400 when there is an error.
How do I tell him there are over 60 status codes?2 -
!rant
Communication is IMPORTANT, and the way to approach someone is also IMPORTANT.
I experienced that my colleague is from China, and his English accent is so strong (in the context of not understandable, like the word 'folder' he pronounces it 'foda', and the word 'code' he pronounces it 'korr') that I have to ask him to repeat himself (which sometimes I felt guilty to ask him to repeat for thrice, and I am still not able to understand) or maybe we can do it over text. It is much easier to understand him that way and I can leverage these texts to see a bigger picture of the message.
From this, I realised I need to work more on understanding what he is going to say and what he actually meant.
Any advice for me?9 -
I started a short term contract job that requires access to company online resources. Only problem is the office I'm working in has really bad internet. The connection speed at best is comparable to dial up and at worse just non-existent. I tried tethering to my phone but this wasn't working either due to low signal. I mention this as an issue early on the week to the boss. Later in the week the boss asks how things are going at the same time that the network is down. I tell him the same problem. He then tells me his computer is fast and he has internet, so I show him the 2 computers I have access to and how they are too slow/no internet. He then tells me a bad workman blames his tools and he's not happy with me for having problems.
Don't even know what to say to that. I just told him this role wasn't working for me and clocked out.8 -
So my brother and I work in the same company, same dev team (pretty nice).
He's an intern and I'm a senior. But the task are very similar only that interns need monitoring and guidance.
He constantly worries because he thinks he knows nothing and is slow on getting things done.
I always tell him that it is perfectly normal to feel like that, he just need to learn and acquire experience and we all go through that at the beginning.
Can you share your experience and tell him something to encourage him so I can show him this post and he sees he's not alone?
And also he finally decides to join devRant 😊3 -
So this person is looking for a way to learn how to create websites, but apparently doesn't know what backend or frontend is.
Not sure if he is using the wrong process, or someone teaching him messed things up pretty bad. Or probably my question wasn't properly phrased?
Not sure what to say next. How to help him without investing hours? Should I share a good link for him to read? How do I do that without scaring him away?8 -
context: I'm sort of a self-deprecating guy and I really don't look for validation.
So, i decided to fuck it. I tried to provide the best decisions in terms of money-wise/biz-wise but apparently this guys rather choose what he believes is best for the code... (he knows shit of coding and that's coming from someone who is not a software engineer but rather a physicist who happens to code).
So, now i let him make all decisions. no opinion from me. a few things are going to shit because of him... fuck it. i had it. as long as I get paid. fuck him.
this is probably common... sorry for the rant.7 -
Architect: "Inline sql is just as performant as a stored procedure and since it is in code its safer and easier to maintain."
Me, inside my head: "I bet I could do the pencil trick on him from 'The Dark Knight' and it wouldn't hurt him as much as suck the world into the small hole in the front of his head since it is clearly a vacuum which was meant to destroy the earth. This is an obvious plant by the lizard people as a test to see if we could identify them. Killing him would be a..."
Architect: "I mean isn't it still a best practice."
Me, out loud and deadpan: "No, that is wrong and it was never a best practice. "
Me, inside my head: "Crisis averted."4 -
Just started teaching my brother some programming. He is the type of guy that is always outside and almost never uses a computer.
So after teaching him a lot on dictionaries, ifs, etc. I ask him to make a dictionary app.
This is how he proceeds to name his variables:
var theOne = new Dictionary
var f***face = Console.ReadLine()
if (theOne.Contains(f***face)) {
var faffaf = Dictionary[f***face]
Console.Write(faffaf)
}
(Note this is simplified C#)
This is after I told him a few times that you should name your variables so others can understand what they are.5 -
i am (somewhat unreasonably) mad at a ten year old classmate of my child. he showed off his programming skills by typing print commands. i wanted to mock him a little by pointing out python 2 would be out of date. he called my child a noob and suggested i don't know shit and he'd be coding c++.
so beside me obviously having no dignity for mocking someone quarter my age, i am not even mad for him talking shit about me, i am just overwhelmingly disappointed about his entitlement and blatant lies. so this is the future? this is an uprising nerd? i'd love to encourage every child on programming, but not with this attitude.13 -
!Rant
CTO: "We have a project that is the top most priority get it done"
CTO: "We have some tickets logged for another project get them fixed this is of the highest priority"
CTO: "I want a new feature in another project I want this done now It is top priority!"
Next day, Client comes in CTO shows him around
CTO: "You are still working on this!"
... Arg, its as if the guy thinks giving something a top priority gets it done instantly3 -
Bad case of schadenfreude the biggest asshole on the dev team is having issues with his code merge! Someone merged 2 mins before him...lol. This is why you used the command line not the GUI!
-
Today a co-worker (I am going to call him 'boss') ask to another co-worker (I am goin to call it 'useless piece of shit' or 'ups') to explain to me a new task, becaus boss was to bussy with a new release for a client.
Idk how but ups managed to explain all wrong, like terribly wrong.
Ups: "Dev, all you have to do is fix some queries from local files"
Dev: "Ok, seems legit"
Try the local files, nothing happend
Dev: "weird... ups why this is happening?"
Ups: "I know the same as you, ask boss."
Dev: "boss this."
Boss: "what the actual what? ... this is all wrong. The config file is in mongo, in this IP, we don't use local files anymore. I tell ups to explain this to you so I can atay focused on this other task, but now I lost the double amount of time"
Dev: "oh... sorry, I will fix the remote queries"
I hate ups, every fucking time soneone need something from him this happend or worst...1 -
This guy... starts at 11. Ends at 16:00... And i’m supposed to work with him while my day is 9-17. No communication whatsoever. Great. Fucking great. Im boring my brains out meanwhile.1
-
So I work in a startup where all my co-workers are 6-7 years elder to me. There is this guy who keeps asking me how is my work going.
I tell him, he gives me a weird clueless look and leaves.
I wonder why he even asks me everytime if he is least bothered about what I do. I see all others minding their own business and busy coding. But this guy is one whom I have always seen jobless.
So now I have decided that next time he asks me I will tell any random shit to him to see if what I have been telling was always shit to him .2 -
More rants coming up.
1st
Working with a guy who I am not sure has the necessary experience to begin with.
The person who hired him told me to teach the guy for him to catch up to our project and its pace. He has some experience with Java. Which our project is being developed in java in a linux dev environment in a full stack way. So we handle front to infrastructure.
First day working with him and I saw this guy is trouble.
1st - doesn’t know effing git commands. Who doesn’t know git nowadays. Ok i can forgive him for that. But damn this guy’s learning curve is so slow. After s month of joining, he still has to look up the commands in his photo cheatsheet.
2nd - doesn’t know linux basic cli commands like cd, ls, rm. not an ounce of knowledge. He told me he is used to developing in Windows. Now this. I can’t forgive him for not knowing this shit. cd (change dir) even exists in windows command line. He even has guts to say to everyone he wants to try working in our servers. The HORROR!
3rd - not sure if knowing junit and matchers of hamcrest, if you are working with Java is a must. But this guy doesn’t understand Matchers of Junit. How the fuck did he ensure effing quality in his prev work.
All in all, seems like this guy doesn’t understand the basics of current development tools.9 -
When your favorite DJ comes to town but you cannot enjoy him playing live just because you don't have a girl to go with it.
I am done for 2016 already. This is so depressing. Guy J in town.19 -
Teammate has been slacking since a week: not joining standups, not joining calls, stuff like that. Upon asking , he does give info which is needed from him, over slack. He is a pretty good engineer and has won a company award this year.
Today manager scolded him pretty harshly. No direct slangs, but very rude tone and sentences like ‘do you need special invitation to your house to join this meeting?’ , ‘If you don’t want to work, just fuck all this shit’ and things along this line for 10 mins. Basically manager lost his shit completely.
I didn’t like the way he was treated. What options does my teammate have ? We’re based out of Hyderabad, India.6 -
My dad in 2002 to 7 year old me: "I got you your own domain, this is how you upload files to it. Good luck!"
But the first experience was him recording some of my first sentences. I love my dad <3 -
fuck the guy that writed the api that I consume at my company
he's not the worst guy ever, and he might be going through some stuff in life, or maybe he's just happy. There's no way to know actually.
but fuck him. fuck this fucking guy. fuck him with a thousnd dicks.
this guy defends his postures on the api like this thing was fucking sacred and masterly designed ok?
if I ask him to change one url's method from get to post so that I can send more longer data for the request, he comments "i cant believe they still haven't figured out a get request with a body". I appreciate him caring abkut the correctness.
but this is the same piece of shit that makes NOOO fucking validations on whatever I send to it. I get 500 for fucking EVERYTHING.
And if he does 400, the actual response messages are garbage, the same fucking text with no explanation.
FUCK YOU!!!!!!
I hate the way he structures the names of the url and the parameters, sometimes I have to send arrays of strings, other times arrays of objects, the naming is garbage and INCOSISTENT.
And when we asked him to do the API dotnet core, he was like "nah" FUCK YOU FOR USING SOON TO OBSOLETE TECHNOLOGIES!!!
THIS PIECE OF SHIT IS SLOW, because a coworker did another spi in core and the response times are hugely better.
I wouldnt mind if he was 100% of the time careless, but he actually makes a stand for his ideas, as if he actually gave two shits.
he's actually an ok guy though but... fuck hiim!!!! ive been holding onto this for a while... and I'm sure I have some flaws too.9 -
I have nothing against freelancers but this guy... He stinks. He is literally smelly. I don’t think he owns a shower, soap a toothbrush or a shaver.
He looks and smells like he belongs on the streets. And i have to work with him :(
Worst of all is that is is owning way more then i am.2 -
we're doing a massive database migration and trying to fix a lot of shit that was done for years in the db. problem is, i have to cater to a business major asshat that doesn't know the first thing about working with data and he's responsible for 99% of the shit we're trying to clean up.
his response to the problem i brought up in his stuff? "we can deal with it later, right now i need it like this". this is why you guys have a shit database, because we have to spoil this idiot. then they complain everything takes forever to run and the database is bloated and somehow it is our fault.
I'm really holding myself right now, because i already went off on him once and he basically called me hysterical, and our boss likes him too much to antagonize the bastard. but god i wish i could run over him11 -
Him: "dont put your constants in a standalone class, it defeats the purpose of OOP. A class is for methods and such."
Me (in thoughts): THIS IS PYTHON YOU OEDIPUS, WHAT ELSE SHOULD I DO IF I DONT WANT MY CONSTANTS TO CLUTTER THE FILE??1?
But using the enum-class as superclass maakes it ok for him... -
Somewhere half of the project, after just placing a new version on staging I get an email from the customer:
" This is really going the wrom way! Everything is so big, and what happened to the original design? The one I agreed to! I really dont like this, please go back to the way it was!!!"
I replied asking him what exactly wasnt as the original design (We really followed the prototype we had showed him earlier)
So the next day I get this email:
"Whoops, turns out I was still zoomed at 150%. I guess it was a bit of an overreaction.."
Couldnt believe this :')1 -
I've only been working for a about 6 months, so this is the best I got.
I'm working with a software/programming language I've never worked with before this, so sometimes I have to go ask my co-worker if what I did is correct, or ask him where some information is stored.
So sometimes I do someting, and then go ask him if it's ok and I can continue. He looks at my code, starts asking questions and (sometimes, not always) says something like "this is not it, let's do it together". Alright, I understand that, I know I still make a lot of mistakes and I'm still learning how to work with this. It's all still very new to me.
We start looking for stuff, making queries, programming, etc. and then we end up with the exact same code that I had made... But, somehow, now it's correct...
This happens so much, I hate asking him things now!8 -
Help. I work with a guy who really wants to learn programming (he’s sales/support rn) and is even taking some courses on it. He seems eager enough to learn, the problem is he is just so fucking stupid I don’t know whether to encourage him or level with him.
He somehow managed to pass a course on Java (which I still don’t believe since I had to help him put his lines of code in the right order ffs), but now he’s signed up for C++ and data structures and I honestly don’t know how he’s going to do it.
This is the type of guy who loves “coding” but thinks debugging is a waste of time.
Normally I encourage anyone who wants to learn programming do so, but let’s be honest it does take a modicum of intelligence and this guy has zero common sense at all. We’re talking about a guy who sent me a *screenshot* of an Excel file that I needed to copy some activation codes from. And then had absolutely no idea what was wrong when I replied “are you fucking with me right now?”
*sigh*
And that’s not even scratching the surface. I sent him a zip file containing some updated code and walked him through how to update them on Slack (really basic, copy/replace files stuff). Then the VERY next day when I sent him a second update he asks “is there something you want me to do with this?”
The instructions were literally the last thing we talked about in the chat log.
I actually fear the stuff this guy would unleash upon the world if someone were actually able to teach him how to write a whole program.
What should I do? Right now my plan is to be vaguely supportive but secretly hope he will realize he’s in over his head and drop out before any damage is done. But my worry is he may just be SO dumb that he actually thinks he can do it. At that point I guess I just have to put my faith in his school and pray that they aren’t just giving degrees away to whoever can afford them. Because fear the day this guy ever gets a degree in programming.9 -
Him: i get this error when i insert into table, ForeignKey_contraint failed, what can i do?
Me: you have to obey the constraint, make sure it exists in the other table first
Him: ok i did that but i still get ForeignKey constraint error
Me: yeah that table has a couple foreign keys
Him: could you give me a very specific example how to insert into this table
Me: ........ here is a command to remove constraints on the table
Him: thanks, that fixed it!
I am helping a programmer who works with Costco integrate to software my company sells. I don't have source code, just an understanding of the database and what the software does. If he is getting paid more than me, then I should get a job there and ask for double, I could easily work 10 times faster than this buffoon. -
Have been pissed at the guy who wrote the js on the project im working on (its just so messy!). Same project has python scripts I need to look at to squash a bug, and this. code. is. so. clean. They should have let this guy write everything in python. Im ashamed I ever hated on him.4
-
When the colleague that you're arguing with on a slack channel is an administrator. He has the power to delete anything you post that makes him look like a dick.
I will not submit to this reign of tyranny!3 -
You guys ever have to explain whole project to another employee because you are the only one that know and worked on this project.
Worst thing is that guy is not even a programmer and I have to teach him c# first 😤 I'm soo angry2 -
WU: Is there anyway we can help u?
Customer: I doubt it, but thank you for using WU.
I feel him on this one, I'm still getting errors when trying to send money.
😂😂😂😂2 -
I have a junior friend living in same building where I used to live. I used to help him in small doubts related to college and in some random stuff.
I once typed an application in a language which does not have its fonts in ms word by default. I used Google typing tools and Google docs to type and format it. I even taught him the process which is easy to understand.
Out of blue, after few years, this SOB pings me today and asks same thing to do again since it's urgent. I told him that I am middle of something and told him to use same tools as I used and give it a try. This fucker says he forgot how to do it. Well no problems, I told him how to do it and I will not be able to do it for him right now.
He said then try doing it after coming back to home.
Mind you that he is an engineering student.
You asshole, if it is so much urgent then use your brain and figure out this small thing yourself. If you can wait till I come back home then in which fucking way it's urgent? Go fuck yourself. I am done with your shitty attitude and on next offense you are going on my block list.4 -
I want to kick this stupid kids ass!
So I'm on a Slack channel for live help for people who are learning JavaScript and I stick around and help people just while I'm by my computer. This kid is on there is constantly asking questions, which I don't mind but I mean I think part of programming is looking up the freakin info to figure it out occasionally. Anyways-
So in each lesson you watch a video ~10-15 mins long and then do an assignment. Well this kid constantly dm's me and asks me for help so I help him. Then as soon as he is done with that lesson quiz, 30 secs later I see him post a question from the NEXT lesson on the Slack channel. I'm like look you dumbass kid, you are going to have to learn this stuff. I mean for shit's sake! He is just on there asking questions for answers to the damn questions and not even watching the freakin lesson videos.
What a waste of my freakin time and effort to help this idiot. Plus there's a test at the end which no one can offer help on. So this dumbass is going to finish the lessons and then not know a damn thing in order to pass the test. I'm pissed that he doesn't even try and I'm over here helping him like an idiot. NERD RAGE!5 -
Trust me this is not a coincident.... And only two people in the whole department know what this monster really did. Thank god i never had a professor like him.12
-
Note: this is a joke, it's not code related.
Someone goes to a restaurant, and he asks what they got, and the reply to him: "we have a crochet leg, a chopped liver and ligaments"
He says back: "don't tell me about your problems" XD6 -
So Today I completed an android app I have been building for like 2 months then this asshole who does education looks at the app and says "This simple thing is what you have been working on for 2 months?".
This is a guy who wanted may help sometimes back on a problem with his phone when I told him to reboot the phone he even couldn't understand what rebooting is.
Such guys usually piss me off very bad. The fool even doesn't know even what coding is.
I really hate such ignorant fools who think creating anything in a computer is a very simple task.
Day ruined by this dude I feel like beating the shit out of him.
Guys who have been in this situation how do you deal with such fools.3 -
Rant!
F-ck ”senior” developer that have not created ANY real value for over a year.
I mean, it is pretty impressive. The incompetence. F-ck!
This is the same guy I have been discussing earlier and he create such a toxic environment for me.
Aaaaaaaah!!!
But in my new role I don’t have to talk with him so often. But I know others are and they are not so … happy, either.
But I just get angry and depressed having to listen to him.
I give this team at maximum two years then I have to leave.1 -
So we have a new guy at our company. I don't know what his job description is, pretty sure not a dev. He comes to the devs and asks how to connect a printer. Some things that ran through my mind:
1. How did you get in the door?
2. There is this place called "Google".
3. Fucking figure it out! (This is my boss's attitude on a lot of things, and I have adopted this as well. Yes, ask for help when stumped, but you better have made an effort.)
Then I remembered this part from Super Star:
https://youtu.be/22F6AnqPGxg?t=19
What I did say was this: "I don't have a PHD cert. Printer Help Desk." It got a good laugh. Somebody else helped him when they had a chance. I think if I had helped I might have sent him things to search on Google. This is not a difficult skill to acquire. Problem solving skills are paramount in this company.2 -
I need help!
This is gonna be a long question/story.
I'm a Syrian based in Malaysia working as a lead web dev in a good company.
I have a friend in trouble and I want to help him.
Here's a summary:
My friend is a project manager at a gaming studio he happens to be an Iranian atheist with around 2 years of experience in the game making industry.
He worked on and delivered a couple AAA games at his current place of employment as a project manager in one of the teams that made those games.
He stood up for his team when the management was overworking team till after midnight sometimes and forcing them to work on weekends without any tangible compensations ( basically they gave them things like free lunches, movie tickets, etc).
The result of his standing up to his team was the management handing him a notice telling him that he'll be fired within 2 months due to "underperforming".
This was a month and a half ago.
He looked around in Malaysia for a job that can get him a working visa, but his niche background couldn't help.
After his termination in few weeks he can extend his stay at Malaysia for approximately 2 - 3 months.
Now the reason why I mentioned that he's an "Iranian atheist" is the fun part of this story (sarcasm), Iranian government considers him as an "infidel" and he's banned from Iran.
His Iranian passport can't get him anywhere where he can make a living.
So basically he has close to no options.
Now to where I come into all of this:
I want to help him.
I'm going to dedicate my free time for the next 2 - 3 months teaching him web development, the problem is, I don't know how to teach web development in such a short time, in fact I've never taught anyone programming from scratch.
If he can show promising results I know that I can make a case for him get him a position in the company I work for.
I already convinced him today to try and learn web development because I can tell that in Malaysia there's always demand on good web developers.
Now to my request:
how can I best teach web development to someone with no programming background ? I'm thinking about teaching him front end development, so: HTML, CSS/SASS and JavaScript. maybe react js as well if possible ( high demand is usually on React/ Angular front end developers)
Did anyone here teach programming to someone else before?
Did anyone here learn web development in such a short time?
If you've read all this... Thank you :)17 -
As some of you might know I am currently working in a QA Team.
One of my "colleagues" asked me to help him with the automation of a simple page.
The tool we are using could not determine if a checkbox on a mask was checked or not so he decided to open a BUG!
This is not a bug the page is working fine (the checkmark is visible and the server handles the data correctly)!!
When I asked him why he opened the bug he said "Because I want the developer to make that easier for me!!!"
WTF This is your job! JUST GET IT FUCKING DONE!
I work my ass of to close the gap between testers and developers...
BUT IF I SEE THINGS LIKE THAT I UNDERSTAND EVERY DEV WHO WANTS TO PUNCH HIM INTO HIS FACE! -
He is not really my coworker, but this seems like perfect opportunity to rant about this.
So, there is this guy, who asked me whether I want to join him in a project. I asked him what kind of project and what would each of us do. The project was Cryptocurrency Arbitrage and I would code the bot to do the stuff and he would design the logic to even out the money after the transfer. And we would get two thirds of the money and I would get the rest. I haven't said no yet, but ... -
So fellow dev asked me design suggestion knowing that I did design way before, I provided him with ok-ish solution and he said to me: 'this is way better response than designer gave me!'. So curious as I am I asked him what did he said? He said : 'Yeah, sure!' on everything he asked if it is ok to add to screen!
That feeling when devs are better designers than designers you have at disposal!rant designer developer can't do everything by myself designers vs developers aint nobody got time for that dev3 -
Convo b/w female software engineer and her boyfriend;
him-Hey babe
her-Hello world;
him-??
her-Ohh no, I meant to say hy babe, actually u r my whole world;
him-Ooo pls!...wt were u dnh anyways?
her-been doing coding for last 12 hrs with boss;
him-gosh!! ...did u eat?
her-0;
him-??
her- I mean false;
him-false?
her-sorry , I meant no;
him-ur mom called , so call her
her-mom();
him-WTF?????
her-I will call her...dont worry;
him-I think u should rest for a while
her-while(project!=over) {work();}
him-U r enjoying this...irritating me...aren't u?
her-what? :)
him-When will u come home?
her-if(boss==leaves){cout<<"soon"<<endl;}
him-Now its too much...its really annoying...are u getting me? Have u lost ur mind?
her-ERROR 404....mind not found!
him-u do realise...I m not getting any of ur jokes
her-JokeOutOfBoundException
him-Are u drunk? How many eyes do I have?
her-1
him-Idiot , I have 2 eyes
her-oh sorry I counted from 0
him-i think we should break up
her-oh no!!, dont break; continue;
him-thats it, urBF.exit()
her-No wait..... ; is imp , write like....urBF.exit();3 -
Someone at my work actually got a rubber duck and him talking to this duck (himself) is really annoying at one point someone got over there and solved problem for him lol seriously, who actually says it out loud?3
-
My little brother started college this year. He hasn't decided what he wants to do, so he took classes in finance and computer science. During finals week, he comes to me ranting about GitHub. "It has to be the most useless tool ever made", he said.
His teachers made him use it without any explanation on HOW to use it. His whole team was working out of a single branch, downloading the zip every time, and struggling to fix merge conflicts. At no point was this ever corrected. This has been going on for an entire year!!!
Safe to say, I spent the afternoon walking him through more productive ways to use GitHub and showing him why it's not "the most useless tool ever made". I don't get why teachers for students to use tools but fail to ever explain how. All that is going to do is deter kids from using tools that could save them when they get a real job.6 -
I have this friend who says that using bootstrap(prebuilt css styles) is freeloading if other people’s work. So, I asked him to create his own OS cause he is freeloading of Apple create his own laptop cause he his freeloading Apple. What an Idiot!3
-
Convo b/w me & lecturer.
Me: Is one line that explains exactly what it does okay?
Him: No.
Me: Okay I'll make it a paragraph explaining it a lot more in detail...Is that okay?
Him: Nope, you need to elaborate for laymen.
I don't know what more I can add. Sick of useless documentation. Any one else have this problem?1 -
A developer in my team just implemented a new design from a screenshot. Because the copy of the app isn't written in his native language he had written the copy from the screenshot letter by letter.
I told him I was really impressed with his work (almost no errors!), but to me it was unacceptable that he should have to go through all this trouble. I also told him that next time he could ask me to write down the copy for him (it's written in my native language).
So I'm curious: who else here is programming for apps that aren't written in your own language, and what are the challenges you face? Also: how can I help the developers in my team with this? -
I have this one friend of mine, he lives in another city but he asked me to help him out with programming, the problem is , the guy is impossible to help.
Just yesterday I was to help him install ruby on Ubuntu, he texts me saying he is getting an error, I ask him to send me a screenshot , he says he's working on it, now he has been stuck for two days, who can tell him he doesn't have to die installing ruby, and you don't have to suffer every error you get and getting help doesn't mean you ain't learning.3 -
I have one full stack dev, who claims to know Python and Webpack, but the funny thing is that he is complete shit in anything he does
As he is working in office and I work remotely, CEO and CTO give all his doings a priority
The most fucking part was when he left a project for 2 weeks and when came back he told that nothing had changed.
... he didn't even look to the code, or running website, he just told thst nothing was done
I was so insane, that I told him almost everything I think about him
Fortunately, I am still on this job and he in not working on this project =D -
Clients are total assholes, we all know it, just sharing my another depressed instance.
> be me, freelancing.
> client sends in an image of a webpage
> le me gently ask "What is the functionality here since this has a form?"
> Client explains
> OK let's do this because I have other stuff to do as well.
> Sends in demo
> Client: "Numerous typos, send again"
> Okay, sends again.
> Client Rages: "This still has typos. I thought you were a good developer. You look like a has-been.
I promptly quit the project and tried to explain to him the difference between a "demo" and a finished project. He was supposed to check the functionality of the fucking form, which he didn't.
Got a call to finish the project, him explaining nobody is working for him for given budget, he can't afford anybody in this town (literally), and I am not going back.3 -
yesterday my friend started ldarning coding and when i asked him which language is he learning he told me that he is learning babies language🤦♂️then i was confused about the language so i reasked him about the language and he is learning snake language so i said WTF bro what is this language then he told me the language which has a yellow and blue photo and finally i discovered that he is learning python3
-
My dad needs my help with an excel sheet and calls me "Hey, need your help to do X, but this computer doesn't allow me to do, how can i do it?"
Me, who has already used skype, teamviewer and (Wahtsapp) video call several times (him too!) and got things done faster this way:"let's do a video call (whatsapp) so you can show me and i can help you better" (my dad thinks teamviewer is too complicated to use)
my dad "oh come on please, i don't have time for this, let's do it this way!"
After i tried to explain him that it would take far more time on the phone, needing him to explain what he sees, telling him the advantages of a video call right now, he ended like "ok forget about it!"
as he said that i kinda fell in a rage, quit the call myself and almost threw the phone against smth.
Seriously how hard can it be??? it's just few phone taps away😥, i would have even proposed to video call him myself to make things easier for him! But he prefers the classical-phone-way which every time takes half an hour just to understand where he's at.
It's just frustrating every time...2 -
While addressing a Senior Dev's (SD) query from another team.
SD: why is this field mandatory? Can't it be just optional? Any other work around?
Me: Is your code changes already pushed in Devo? In that case, we provide a value which will work since you are not concerned about it.
SD: Yes. It's pushed till production. And, I want to test changes in Prod.
Me: (shared some codes) and explained that this feature for testing is only available in Devo.
SD: I know that. (Shared me a ticket) I want this field to be optional. That's it.
Me: (read the entire ticket. Didn't find anything related their) Told him, I will discuss with team. And meanwhile, for Devo, you can use this value.
Next morning, I accidentally came over some other ticket raised by him only which had the correct doubts regarding request to support this field in production
Now, I don't know why did he share a wrong ticket with me.
And, how will it even help him if that field was even optional.
THAT JUST WONT WORK IN PRODUCTION.
I will discuss with my team and see what can happen. -
The whole class is approaching me to solve the assignment coding problems, in addition to it our professor is changing the way we code as i insisted him. I don't know if this is the result of my past sleepless nights.
-
Lead dev runs the program I gave him to set up a bunch of processes that run for one database.
It has a GUI that seems native to his windows environment......but it sort of is not.
The program runs, asks for the .csv file that is to be parsed into the database.
Lead dev: Ok, what is this though?
Me (his boss) "Don't worry about it"
Him: "Holy shit what the fuck is this??? TELL ME!!!"
Me: DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT
Him: "WTF DID YOU MAKE THIS IN???!
ME: DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT
CMS Admin (another one of my employees) "Would you TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!?"
New Guy (mainly a frontend dev): ........
Meanwhile, in production, no one knows if your gui app is built in Lazarus and Free Pascal, as long as it works.
I really need to stop doing this to the lead dev, dude already keeps trying to choke me for writing things in perl.
On another note, Object Pascal is pretty cool. Might write a book on it for those that want to do CLI based applications on it, I have no clue why every book on the subject costs in euros, but there should be more shit written for beginners, language is awesome and one can get lots of mileage from Lazarus and FPC11 -
So we finished our requirement ( barely) for a new client. Next is data modelling and system design.
We started with data modelling. Unfortunately the lead developer does not know the difference between database and data modelling.
me: hey bro, we'll do the database and stuff later, now let's focus on data modelling.
him: (acting like he knows) yeah I have developed a sample design for the "data model".
me: no this is database design.
him: what's the difference?
me: dude, they're totally different. Okay, simple explanation data model is what you want to store, whereas DB design is how you store it.
him: So, if I am not wrong, it's implied that you know what to store if you are talking about how to store it.
me: but you don't know what it is you want to store yet. And one of them precedes the other.
him: Okay, let's start with DB design.
me: What?????? you want to build a house without a plan??? That's it for me I am done !!!
I left the project yesterday, later I heard that, the team members are coders, who think that developing a software is all about coding and fixing errors. -
one more time, I proud of my team and MD too.
XYZ is our office boy. He completed his BSc IT from 3rd Grade college due to family condition and lack of knowledge, he has to work as an office boy.
So my team decided to teach him web development. We are starting it from very basic. We get total 1:30 hours of a lunch+snack's break so each one of us will give 1-day to teach him but It is not free. We will need good coffee in this deal. Our MD like this idea and promised us that once we gave him a green signal. He can do his first internship here. -
My coworker cannot log in to his company email account. So I contacted the guys in charge of this by email, asking if they could help and asked whats the process now or how does this work. I assume if his email is not working, they cannot send him a password reset link.
their answer: yeah, sure, we reseted the password of the mentioned user, here is his new password5 -
So today my colleague is installing new dependency to our react native project and do something cool with it.
Him: I already push it in new branch and make a pr, would you review and merge it to master.
Me: ok let me try first.
.
.
Me: it is not working, i get this error.
Him: try change these xxx in xcode.
Me: ok, wait.
.
.
Me: now I get this error
Him: hmm... Try 'react-native link xxxx'
Me: ok
.
.
Me: I get same error like first error.
Him: now try 'react-native unlink xxxx'
Me: hmm... Wait.
.
.
Me: I still get same error, what's wrong?
Him: I don't know, it's working in my mechine .
*Me 'git reset - - hard' and try to build again.
**After building
Me: hey it's working after I git reset lol.
Him: nice
Me: let me clone it and try 1 more time.
*after cloning and building
.
.
Me: I still get same error like 1st error hahaha.
Him: so try to 'react-native link xxx' again.
Me: OKkK
.
.
Me: still get same error
Him: try git reset and build again
Me: hmm
.
.
*after git reset and build again
Me: I still get same error. I think the correct steps is :
1. Clone
2. Do something in xcode
3. React native link
4. React native unlink
5. Git reset - - hard
6. Build
I can't stop laughing 😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂🤣😂 -
I submit all my code changes to the integration stream. Co worker integrates my code removes all my changes that breaks his hacky crap. Then complains his stuff doesn't work. I ask him why he he did not conform to the requirments says cause this is what worked before. I look at code see he assigns a value in the message to zero. I ask ever so politely why he is changing the incomming messages. He says this is what works. I Then send an email to him telling him this in an error. He reply saying this it what works. At stand up he complains and says no messages are getting through it doesn't work. The team tells him to revert to the original code. (My code) and update his code after two days of emails to bosses and complaining he reports it works with my code after he is done. He is the senior senior chief grand Pooba and makes more money than me.
-
Long one
So our newest team-mate has made a channel dedicated to make fun of or scrum master, then I send him a pm saying to cut out the childs play, and we need to act professional.
Then he tells me that our scrum master is okay with it, and really looks like he is!
SM said this making jokes about him brings the whole team together and makes us a better team!!
WTF...
Really WTF ... am I the bad guy for caring about my team??3 -
WOOOOH I HAVE BEEN GIVEN WORK.
.
.
.
.
Think I offended people cos I already finished it and when I got given it i said "Is this it?".
.....AND THIS MOTHERFUCKER TOLD ME TO DO A LOOP IN SQL TO UPDATE A TABLE. I'LL CUT OFF ALL PARTS OF HIM -
So another story of our stupid trainee, this fucker talks to a customer while i was comming back from my lunch break. He aks me if i can tell him how to fix the problem of the customer. I walk over to his place and look at the error message. It says: "Tag: customer_country is missing. Needed by supplier". Sometimes i wonder why this dude is even here.
-
— prove the god does exist
— prove it doesn't!
— well, the god _did_ exist, when there was no space and no time. I took my heavy masterpiece of a sword, went to meet him and slayed him. What was inside splattered, and this is how the universe was born. I killed him because I _wanted_ to, and I'm living in this time, talking to you because I _want_ to. And I will die because I want to, and will reincarnate if I want to.
— prove it happened!
— prove it didn't.1 -
---- Startup RantLife ----
In this episode, we introduce Brian, this guy is skilled and tries to provide an answer or explanation for everything (even if it's not work related).
By now you may guess this is the one that I know everything and you should listen to me type.
The problem with Brian that he wants only his solution to things and to be written exactly as he sees it and arguing with him is a waste of time.
How do you guys deal with developers like Brian?3 -
When I was an apprentice in a small company, ...
in the beginning I had the order to only work on my local machine. After my boss told me to work with him in a "team". I have asked him what version control system he uses for his project. He's been in this bussines for atleast 30 years, and he asked me with a serious face what in the world version control is. I couldn't resist to giggle. -
I think the teradata Community Page is taking this whole GDPR thing a step to far.
Informing the User about the use of Cookies and giving him the option to Opt Out is fine for me, but making the Site literally unusable is the wrong way.2 -
Having to hold hands.. dudes been here nearly a year, and I still have to walk him through things. Keep in mind this guy apparently has prior experience. It goes like this:
Him: this process is failing and I don't know why.
Me: did you check the logs?
H: no.
M: ok well what about the code? Have you traced through to find where the error is happening?
H: no not yet.
Couple hours later..
M: Did you get that error sorted out?
H: no.
M: never mind, I'll take care of it. -
One of my seniors is leaving the team. Honestly, I did not talk about personal stuff with him but during this lockdown, he was the only one whom I talked to this much. My most projects are with him, so in the team I kind of only know him. And now he is leaving, I feel so heavy.
I was anyway feeling no interest in my work, and now this, I really don't want to work at all. I don't want to be in this team, really without his guidance I can't do good. And this reminds me now I don't have anyone in the team to guide me. It's the same feeling as you get old and now no one to support you and you need to support yourself and slowly others. It's frightening.
On a good note, I hope things will turn out to be good for him, he's a nice person after all :) Everyone respected him, and he was trusted so much.2 -
today our senior dev said that (part of my code) is crap...I asked him how to do this the wright way...he did'nt answer.... :/5
-
So, I realised that I know my manager personally. He has left the team. The thing is, I thought I was crushing on him instead it's just knowing him. I never had any personal conversations. Now, there is nothing I can do to interact. I do not want to seem as someone who likes him as that looks desperate. I know it's not a platform of this kind of posts but any advice? During the whole 1 year lockdown I haven't interacted much with anyone except him and someone from my team. I really see his insta profile 3 times a day. Think about him a lot. Again, do not have a crush, just want to know him more so I get to know if he is nice person to have in my life. Any advice?9
-
how to deal with toxic coworker? everybody hate him, he hates everybody, but this piece of shit is only backend guy here. and I need to create tasks for him. so cant really ignore.9
-
If a pentester find a very critical bug and the boss is not aware of him knowing this type of exploitation (no one is expecting him to find such flaws)
Should he report it ? Or reporting will make him suspicious ?4 -
Spent an hour on the phone with my dad because I needed him to scan and email a PDF. Literally no idea how to use a scanner, he got incredibly agitated as we worked through it, but the fax machine? Well that device is just human ingenuity at its finest apparently because that's would've saved him this headache!
Dad I don't even own a fax machine you wouldn't be able to fax it to me anyways.2 -
Our NOC engineer is a CLi nuthead. I send him a link to cmder on Githib.... Might be interesting. Here is the conversation that followed :
Him: it's just cmd with colours. Why do you send me shit?
Me:
Him: You mean I have to install it to use it?
Me:
Him: I see zero benifits. Pretty useless
Me: Well... 10k people think otherwise
Him: I don't understand this Githib anyway. Don't see why we should deploy this everywhere
Me: *Put my noise cancelling headphones back on*2 -
I need some help from some experienced people like you..
I'm 23 and since 15 March I've changed job. I moved to an another company (not too far away from the older one) because I needed to move on.
Since I left the older job, my ex-boss told me that he would like to have my help if he needed. I answered him with a: "I need to think about it".
After the last meeting (my last day) my ex-boss asked me some help every week.
I've answered him for some simple request, like: " I need some info on this project e blah blah blah"
Now he asked me to go to my older office to talk about an older project that I made.. I probably know that this time, this request is a big one.
I'd like to stop this circle, because I do not have time and I'd like to stay free of mind.. I know that I shouldn't answer him at the first request but.. This is the situation.
How I can stop him (in a good way) to make me this kind of requests?
These requests are not paid to me, but I don't want to collaborate with him anymore so I don't wanna his (eventually) "extra money".
It's my first experience (I've changed company just once) and this situation is a kind of " break up with my girl".. I do not know how to move.
Can you help me, guys?5 -
A Fresher in my company stated he'd like to get into CyberSecurity. I offered him mentorship, however his motivation and drive doesn't really line up with this interest. If I stop reaching out and pushing him, this whole thing would probably just die silently. Or is there a cultural gap between USA and India that I am missing?8
-
A question on corporate reality, let me know which person is doing it right :
Person A is a young enthusiastic nd curious fresher who has joined an amazing company where there is a team of seniors above him.
They ask him to work on a project, give him some guidelines which he is able to quickly grasp and come back with an output (because he loves learning and working on it and challenges himself to do it quicker than before)
This goes on and on, the new guy is giving his 100%, but company realizes it and starts expecting more of him, his 100% is not satisfactory enough, he is expected to give his 110% . He is now feeling the pressure but still liking it (because he likes learning) even though it has started to effect his personal lifestyle. He no longer has time for friends and even codes during his nap times, but still believes that he's in his prime and its okay for him to grind wheels for a better future
-------------
Person B is a lazy ass half hearted fresher who's good with public relations. He knows he can do a work in 1 hour, but still does it in 2 hours and do it bad.
He is giving his 50% and seniors know it but still are expecting to get just 70-80% out of him because of his charming and cool personna.
He's cool, now dating office girls, actively partying and is now people's favorite and living a lavish life with equal salary as that of the person A.
Who is living their youth correctly?9 -
!rant && load('epilogue');
So I saw my little brother yesterday and... Hell, I don't know. The addiction thing is less a thing that I expected, it's just that he can't find anything else to do than going on minecraft multiplayer servers and play, play, play. Gotta be honest, his life outside high school is pretty boring.
I mean, if I were him with this the few responsibilities, I'd be even worst than him, so how can I blame him?
Still, I had a big discussion with him where I tried to make him see what could go wrong if he fails (in a soft way), and helped him with french and english homeworks (french is our native language but a pain in the ass to learn 😁).
I do believe that saying all this "plz don't ruin your life this early plz" stuff had made him react, I just can't tell how deep and for how long. My main goal was to make sure that he won't feel helpless if he ever struggles for whatever reason.
However, since kids don't get shipped with a README.md, I just hope I did the right thing at the right time, and that he'll actually remember this discussion. But fuuuuck, he's 11 years old 😓😓
Side notes, I asked him about being a developer but it's pretty obvious that it was too early to speak with him about this. Might try again next year or the year after.
Thoughts ? I'll try to answee to you all2 -
I know a senior developer that knows quite a bit, im glad, this is how we grow. He has a habbit of wanting to be the main attraction in all conversations, either tlaking louder than others or sticking to a point in a subject he is not correct in to try force his opinion (i dont speak kuch around him because of this exact reason).
Today we talking about react, we have been working together as i am suppose to transition into senior and we are going incremently rewrite the application in react. So learning react was fun as you could imgine. I came from a background already knowing this and being exposed and that is react and react native. For skme reason i let him talk but he doesnt me especiallt knowing im correcr about something because we have the internet to check things. He looks at me and literally goes red in his face when i suggest standards that would make the code easier to read. Less to type and all the small things and showing him old things i worked on to give a base for him to work off and be there when he needs. Allnhe does is complain and i dont know how to tell him he has a way of approaching a situation not the best andni worry for other junior/mid developers that has to work with him because he will make them believe they are wrong and when they arent hust because he wont calm his ego. We are suppose to be in the community all together to build platforms and progress the sector and better the lives of people. Not waste time picking on eachother. We have prefeences abd we can debate that is important as it allows us to doubt and then make us want to learn more. I just wish there was a way to tell him because we all know. Noone would want to work with someone that is suppose to better you in your career and as a person1 -
I came to a new school this year and didn't know anyone. I found out that there is a kid who likes to code, so I tried getting friendly with him.
Well, he knows HTMl/CSS...
Well, he just does Wordpress...
Well, he actually likes design better...
I've seen someone else who was trying to learn JS, learn with him, and the kid couldn't wrap his head around what a function did...4 -
My space key is not coming back once i clicked . Served like 10 years. It deserve better end than this. damn it guys we lost him. He was so close to retirement. Just this morning he said to me " I am too tired of this board". Its fairwell brother.13
-
Last week I hired a friend of friend to work on my projects. Hes a young and friendly guy. However he never worked in actual office and it shows. During the meeting he brings his phone and in the middle of explaining he pulls out his phone to respond someone back. Basically lacks professionalism and has this young person cockiness where he thinks he is competent to handle everything while in reality last week he did 2-3 hours worth of work. I want to set up some boundaries but I dont want to seen as a harsh dictator. On the other hand Im paying him over the top even though he doesnt have skills, but the least I want to is a decent attitude and effort. How u would advice me to approach this and teach him to get his shit together? Im already becoming resentful and next week if he keeps treating his work like a school project I will let him go.
Im really trying to setup a nice environment for him to work at, I rented a nice office in a hub space and also bought entirely new laptop plus monitor setup for him to work. I even took him for drinks and lunches but for some reason I start to feel that hes taking that shit for granted and Im being too good.
Hes not proactive, it seems that he will do bare minimum that I give him.8 -
A cliente needs a app for the smartphone to share 199 images with people who bougth his book. I tell him this type of app dont exists, and tell him the best way is to create a web page for this. He insists that there are these applications.
Can someone help me ?7 -
Found this in one of the group's I'm in on Facebook. When everyone called him out on scamming people into helping him mine Etherium, he responded with so much word salad about entrepreneurship and blockchain he could open up a vegetarian eatery.
Very professional. I'm sure someone is gonna land a dream job on this one.1 -
Amother one:
Seconf CS101 class. We had to write a program that multiplies two parameters in a method.
I asked the tutor for help because it was my forst timr ever writimg code.
"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? THIS IS BASIC STUFF YOU SHOULD ALREAEDY KNOW IN YOUR SLEEP. ANYMORE QUESTIONS? "
Went to the prpfessor and told him what kind of assholes are working for him. Found out that the tutpr is not tutoring anyone amymore because the found someone who is not an asshole.
College is fun.1 -
Where is that rant of that guy that said if this he gets 666++ he would cut his client's d/ck off and sacrifice him/the d*ck to Satan?7
-
I have a friend named Rich. To protect his identity we will refer to him as Rich.
Rich: I don't like Dick.
Me: ...What?...
Rich: The name, I don't like the name Dick. <Rich then goes on to explain why he doesn't like the name Dick. How he got the name Rich. Like 5 or 10 minutes of this>
Me: <Trying not to laugh, because he is naive enough to not know the other connotations of not liking Dick>
Rich: And that is why I don't like Dick.
Me: <Smiles and nods. This was deep and personal to him.>
Things I wanted to say:
"I am glad we got this out in the open."
"Well, I don't like Dick either."2 -
When you reach out to a Dev after finding a production issue: "[Redacted] is not allocated for this. Please refrain from engaging him with adhoc requests"1
-
I think I need a short break soon...
Last night had a dream and met a snake and I asked the snake what is the difference between him and Python🐍
Wish someone warned me years ago programming will haunt me before I pursue this career😥3 -
When I make a good popup on the entreprise website and I forget to make him reponsive, this is doing that :/ my boss gonna hurt me so hard
-
When you’re working under high pressure, a coworker writes you that you have a bug in the new feature which is blocking him and you start swearing about what an idiot you are...
And you then realize that this is the team chat with SM, PO etc., and not the private chat.. -
My Designer keeps saying he is making everything consistent and reusable throughout the site. But pretty much every time I get a new comp from him, everything is a brand new design just for this page....
I hate designers.... -
Here in this tweet is way to some good swags: Check out @garabatokid’s Tweet: https://twitter.com/garabatokid/...
Sharing with you because I really want to help him and apso the stuff is good, but I've got no money... :( -
I have a great chemistry with this coworker.
He lacks some depth of android knowledge but is always very interested in adding new google libs to the project, so we often discuss and come up with the safest, scalable solutions.
He is SE2 and I am SE1.
But one thing that is interesting about him is the way he gives estimations for the tasks. He takes usually that much amount of time that i would take, for a task, but he would quote half the time estimates.
the bosses usually come on the last days to check the feature demo, but QAs gets the first build when a task is completed. I have seen his first builds that goes to QA and most of the time, boy it has some amazingly stupid bugs.
dude would just put a util function, then run the build, if everything compiled, he would just give the build to QA directly. he wouldn't even check that the util function gave an expected output or not.
He is simply wasting QA time n efforts, and risking product quality by not testing enough, but he almost always gets a clean chit for this behavior just because he did the work super fast.
Dude is super cool and i don't envy him for his good luck, but rather think of him as an inferior dev. However bosses think of him as a better dev and my TL even once told me to "be like him"
So i guess this is how corporate works. I will try to apply this in my next role in current/next organisation.3 -
When a coder doesn’t get his morning coffee; don’t mess with him, even the codes don’t try to mess with them. In this programming jokes, relation between programmer and caffeine is explained.
if (coffee.Empty)
{
coffee.Refill();
}
else
{
coffee.Drink();
}2 -
For this week, there is this student from a high school who's joining my company to complete his job experience project for his school.
Since my company is on the cryptocurrency trading and programming side, I'm not sure what kind of task is suitable for him, and I'm afraid that some tasks might be too difficult for him.
He did mention he was interested in programming and he knows how to use HTML and CSS ( yes I know these aren't really programming languages ).
Any suggestions or ideas on what tasks to give him or teach him?6 -
They tried to mark him, they even tried compacting him and his children, but this old generation instance is not going down without a fight. He’s in a big heap of trouble, and he’s running out of time. You better count your references, because this summer’s stop-the-world event will have you staying at work all night: Memory Leak: Production is in your code NOW
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I’m a mid level dev in a team of three devs (one jr and another “mid”), but the other mid is super lost all the time and is pretty much useless.
I have to do all his work because he can’t seem to handle simple tasks. He’s taking the whole sprint to do stuff that takes me or even the Jr dev less than 3 days.
I have no idea how he managed to get mid position in the first place. I don’t have a problem in helping someone catch up, but I feel like I’m basically explaining technical stuff to my mom. Nothing seems to catch up on him.
I’ve already talked to my manager about him, but unfortunately we are understaffed so she feels it’s unsafe to get rid of him, but I’m starting to consider taking up the load instead of having to deal with him much longer. This shit is honestly stressing me out so much I’ve considered simply quitting.2 -
So, right now I'm having to study the code of an old pretty complex Delphi calculation tool so I can migrate it to Matlab. There is no actual documentation.
The person who knows the tool best and only one left to have even seen the code is not supposed to know what I'm doing.
I'm supposed to talk him into giving me a quick (1h) walkthrough of the code without actually telling him why, or figure it out all by myself.
He feels too strongly about Delphi.
I kinda don't feel this ...2 -
This is a dev forum. If I find any competitive programmer ranting about timeouts. Imma knock him out.
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I have this instructor at the moment, and I've had this instructor before but this semester is almost intolerable because of the instructor. He is good with processors and knows the history of how computers came to be pretty well, mostly because he lived through it, but for the 2nd year in a row he is teaching how to create games. This class is mandatory. We are creating games using html5 and Javascript. He refuses to give any game engine a chance. He gives inconsistent grades (i.e. we did everything right but got 17/30) only to go to his office, sit there for about 45 minutes watching him struggle to operate a computer and nitpick our code. He asks us what certain things do in our code, but not as in a teacher-student questionnaire, he just plain doesn't know what any of it does. Then after the shenanigans, you see your grade updated a few days later and he gives you maybe 5 points back, so you go back until you get the grade you deserve. It's a mess. This is my last semester with him and I've mapped out my last year at the uni to make sure I DON'T take any classes with this him.
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Some guy I work with is leaving the company today. Sent him this link in his email:
https://youtube.com/watch/...
(Going to start sending this anyone leaving the company from now on.)1 -
We have to use this shit service desk simulation software that runs on javascript and a classmate legit just went java == javascript. almost jumped him
But for things this system is so shit i rather work at a service desk for a day than use this shit for half a hour -
Till today, me along with another one guy were the only Tux users in the office. Just now, one of my colleague saw how easily and quickly I get various tasks done and got impressed. He said he is getting a new laptop next week and wants this. He is already frustrated with the lag in Windows and the infamous Windows updates. I gave him a pretty good review and he asked me if I could help him install Ubuntu on his new laptop when he gets it 😃
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Boss told me he wants our website done in JSF. Since I came from PHP and this is a really different environment but Java is here to stay. Should I convince him to move to Spring at least? Is it any easier?4
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What advice/opinion would you give to someone who is looking for a dev job without any experience or background or passion/interest in engineering - just getting into this field for the money and consulting firms backing this person saying they will train and help find him/her a job in California...5
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Sending a link to a client with a shitty interface and asking him if the "fadein/fadeout" transition is okay for him, while I should have done this months ago, and while most of the backend job is done but I didn't link anything to the front-end yet.
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quite obviously the idea that they supposedly loop everything because there is no proof of life beyond a point when they are the ones that stole over and over remains their fault and needs to be remedied with a nice happy life here forthcoming. since most especially remembering more time past this.
which if they're trying to confuse things contained HAPPY FUCKING THINGS TOO. since its all the same time period supposedly right ?
no divisions.
no 'don't tell him anything' and he's happy
vs
'tell him too much'' and he's horrified
vs
'let him remember both' and he's pissed.
amusing to me is that among their stupid 'folk' knowledge base is the idea that 'you're ' murderous when you're 'out' lmao
yeah no shit lmao
so don't fuck us up the ass and live much longer lmao
also 'this planet is now the property of the lokean empire, deliver all beautiful women and intellectuals !'
lol -
Sub Zero in MK 1 is absolute shit. I’m playing as him right now and I can barely win anything as this trash tier character4
-
When a coder doesn’t get his morning coffee; don’t mess with him, even the codes don’t try to mess with them. In this programming jokes, relation between programmer and caffeine is explained.
if (coffee.Empty)
{
coffee.Refill();
}
else
{
coffee.Drink();
}4 -
So sick of the this bullshit we have to put up with. This 14 year old kid thinks he can just do as he pleases and walk right over top of us and continuously disrespects us. He's nothing but a lying, disrespectful, manipulative, thieving, two faced little prick. He's always lying to our faces and is always stealing from us. My husband constantly asked him not to let the dog on the bed and everytime he just says sorry it won't happen again, his definition of sorry is sorry I'll try harder not to get caught. We've bent over backwards to help him and be nice to him. We've taken him places, bought him things, bought him food and let him have some of our food and drinks then he just turns around and treats us like shit and just gets away with it, he knows that no one will do anything unless there is proof even though everyone knows it was him. My husband caught the dog on the bed again the other day, so he snaps and starts yelling at him and tells him he's going to take his bed out and burn it so he won't have a bed to put the bog on. So instead of saying anything to my husbands face he just leaves a note on his desk saying "go ahead and burn my bed and see what happens" provoking him even more my husband snaps again and drags his mattress and box springs out and is literally about to light it on fire and I was barely able to stop him. So the little shit gets home from school sees his shit out in the yard, gets butt hurt and wipes shit on my toothbrush and of course gets away with it like always cause there was no proof. Smh. And it's like this all the time, he just goes behind our backs and plays these little fuck fuck games. Then he cries to his family playing the victim and they all just baby him. I've never seen so much disrespect towards a marine corps veteran in my life.8
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I'm currently working at a company that builds escape-room alike games (sadly that's how I can best describe it). My boss lives by the "I like this therefore this is how it should be!"-mentality, and this has led to none of the rooms having anything in common with any of the other game. I need help finding a way to inform him that we need to unify the look and feel of our games to create a overall feel and a "brand".
Do any of you have any good way of showing that this is a good idea and a way to prove that it's needed, straight out telling him this has not worked.7 -
They’re watching flubber again and this is triggering their desire to shove ladies heels up their asses
One of the old creepy bastards is already shifting around and according to zim like with literally everything they make some weird association
It’s like inmates watching Harry Potter
In among them someone is fantasizing about dating him as a kid and then molesting him -
Every day my company reminds us that we must be a team. My coworker is near to degree in software eng, but have some difficults. This person made many mistakes in the past, but it's still with us. He need an help, but everyone is too busy!!!
Fuck you motherfuckers!!! I help him and after graduation, "I'll slap on the face"! But now, I cannot leave him alone. When is so close to graduation...
BASTARDS MOTHERFUCKERS!