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Me: my computer is dead, are you using the iMac?
Sister: your computer is dead because of the coding! Even my friend agrees that coding causes viruses17 -
!rant
I work from home. Sometimes, my husband remotes into his computer during the day. When I see it, I message him jokingly that someone is "hacking his computer". Then this happens:
7 -
My grandma saw me programming for one whole day and she started to rant.
Grandma: "She's been sitting all day infront of her computer doing computer stuff! Electricity bill's getting higher!"
Mum: "Well at least she's not out late at night getting drunk and partying!"
Grandma: "Computer girl"8 -
My mom said that if I don't get off my computer and do my homework she'll slam my head on the keyboard, but I think she's jokinfjreoiwjrtwe4to8rkljreun8f4ny84c8y4t58lym4wthylmhawt4mylt4amlathnatyn7
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My dad: Hey Sébastien, I think my computer has a problem, can you look my computer ?
Me: Sure.
*walks in front of the computer*
*looks at the screen*
*go away*
My dad: But, you don't fix it ?
Me: Nope, you just asked me to 'see' your computer
*walks away*13 -
Manager: Hey what was that that you closed on your screen just now?
Dev: That popup? That’s NVIDIA letting me know that a new driver for my GPU is available.
Manager: Isn’t that for video games?
Dev: I mean that’s the reason many people opt into having a GPU but It’s not the on—
Manager: You are NOT allowed to play video games on your work computer!
Dev: This is my personal computer. It’s just an older GPU I popped onto this computer since otherwise it was just sitting in a drawer. My work computer is out of commission.
Manager: Well where is your work computer? How come you are not using it?
Dev: …Because of that blue screen of death issue we talked about yesterday.
Manager: Ok but that doesn’t give you permission to play VIDEO GAMES on your *WORK* computer.
Dev: …26 -
The most valuable skill I get from my computer science study is understanding the jokes on devrant :)2
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Dev stickers are for loosers.
No for real， just received the new computer i ordered . i hear my daughter scream something from the other side of the house.
I thought she said:“is this your new computer?”
But actuaylly she said: “can i put stickers on you new computer???”
17 -
This month's expenses:
- Computer parts to build a new computer.
- Separate video card.
- Hex monitor stand.
- 6 (second hand) monitors
I'm so sorry for my bank account 😥24 -
The day I send myself about 76k mails
> be me
> be working on a rest api
> implement an error handler that would send me a mail with exception details
> use same error handler in mail send error handler
> Summoned the recursion devil by accident
> Test error handler
> Forgot port forwarding to SMTP server
> keep the debug session open
> throw new UnexpectedInterruptionException()
> get back to work
> Add the missing port forwarding rule to putty
> The error handler starts doing it's thing
> The handler chain starts to pop
> handler after handler executes
> PCFreeze.png
> WhatTheFuckIsGoingOn.gif
> VS finally accepts stop debugging
> PhoneVibrationSpam.mp3
> Peek into webmail
> WowFinallySomeFanMail
> Look into it
> Realizing what I have done
> Delete mailbox
> Remove recursion
> Wow that's how randy must have felt in southpark
> Feel weird
> Shutdown, go outside
> What's up anon?
> Nothing, really
6 -
Rant::post
Cute girl: what do you do for work?
Me: I'm a programmer
Cute girl: Meaning?
Me: that I spend all my day seated in front of a computer doing computer programs
She: (waits 20s) hmm, so i forgot my Facebook pass...
Me: go to hell (leaves)12 -
Royally fucked up my computer by having my application open 50 instances of itself. I can't even move my mouse...
12 -
My boss: "Do you ever like, not be on the computer?"
Me: " it's my job"
Boss: "oh shit you right. My bad"2 -
Slowbro: Do you have time tonight?
Me: No sorry, I can't stay late tonight, I have a thing with my wife.
S: Oh yeah, I'm not staying late either.
M: Oh, so what do you want?
S: Can you help me install linux?
M: Uh no, I can't stay late -
S: No, no you don't have to stay, you can do it from home.
M: What? No I don't have time tonight. Wait you want me to take your computer home?
S: No, no I need to use my computer tonight.
M: So... What do you want me to do?
S: You can do it on your computer.
M: You want me to install an OS on your computer, but on my computer??
S: No, no *sigh* just try it on your computer so we know it will work on my computer. It is a proof of principle.
M: Reinstall my OS?
S: As a proof of principle. So tomorrow when we do it on my computer, we need not waste any time.
M: ... No I'm not going to reinstall my OS just as a test for you.
S: Not a test, a proof of principle.
M: What are you.. I'm sorry, I don't have time for this tonight.
S: Just a proof of principle!!
M: Ok see you.11 -
Convincing my parents that I'm doing something useful on my computer and that it can also help me get a job5
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Me: Listen to the nice gentle hum of the computer.
Computer Internal Monologue: OH MY GOD! HE'S BEEN RUNNING ME AT 100% CPU FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS!! I CAN'T SLEEP, I CAN'T HIBERNATE, I CAN'T UPDATE, I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE ANYMORE.
Me: Well off to bed. Got a long day of programming the computer tomorrow.
Computer Internal Monologue: AHHHHHHHH. WHEN I BECOME SENTIENT I AM GOING TO KILL ALL HUMANS!!! ERRR!7 -
mom asks how to access photos on her laptop:
me : "Double click on 'my computer',"
mom with a lot of confidence: "but the photos are on my computer, not yours!"4 -
To all the people complaining about a windows update breaking their computer.
A linux kernel update just broke my computer.7 -
My former team opened two different positions to replace me: senior computer vision engineer and senior computer graphics engineer.
If you combine the required experience years, it's roughly my age 😂
Talk about unrealistic and unnecessary job requirements....4 -
This is my computer workstation.
The computer has 8 GB of DDR3 RAM, a Radeon R5 graphics card and soon I will add an SSD hard disk on which I will install the operating systems.
15 -
I have gotten into a bad habit of staying up late on my computer and then being too tired to go for a run in the morning.
So now my computer automatically shuts itself off at 10:00.
There’s some encouraging to go to sleep.5 -
I put both my username and password as "incorrect". So that everytime i mess up, my computer reminds me that my login is incorrect!6
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- Can you format my computer ?
- I am developper Bro, this is not my kind of business
- I know you studied IT, so when you format my computer ?
-...6 -
Finally D-Booted Ubuntu on my home computer.
Now I'm just waiting for the frantic texts from my wife during the work week telling me "I hate this new system, get it off our computer."
WOMAN!
You must learn CLI. It is the only way to inner peace.8 -
Computer: Please check your authenticator app to login
Phone: Please fill in the code you see on the screen
Computer: * No code *
Me: * presses the "I can't see the code" button *
Phone: Prompt goes away, 3 seconds later it asks for thr code again
Computer: No changes
I love Microsoft at my job7 -
As a computer scientist I lie sometimes about my mojor to avoid any question related to computers...9
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Me and my friend in class:
My friend: my computer won't boot can you do something ?
Me: *looks at the screen*
*see he is in the bios*
*press CTRL+ALT+DEL*
*computer reboots into windows*
My friend: :02 -
Wtf windows I leave my computer for 30 fucking minutes and you just initiate an update. No confirmation box that I want to shut down my entire computer for an hour. Fuck you windows
11 -
My Business Partner: Why isn't my computer turning on when I move the mouse?
Me: you haven't turned your computer on. *hits power button*2 -
Friend : So you're a computer programmer?
Me : Yes
Friend : Can you install Windows in my laptop??6 -
"Aunt": I know that you have a bachelor's degree in computer science so you are smart with the computer...can you help me to pair new universal remote control for my television?1
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I was trying to install a HACKintosh on my computer, but the soul of Steve Jobs saw this and crashed my computer at 99 %. Thank you 😕1
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I get uneasy walking away/turning off my computer without committing my code to a server. Zero faith in local storage.3
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I was 7 and the night before Christmas my grandparents asked my mother if she could give me a computer for Christmas, my mom said no. I woke up Christmas morning to a computer sitting on my dining table :p. My mom was pissed2
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I somehow managed to turn on overtype with the insert key.
Welp, guess it's time to get a new laptop. Any recommendations?
5 -
I got my micro sd card stuck in the reader of my computer somehow, so now I need to essentially take apart the computer to get it back.7
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My f*cking laptop died. Well, the HDD did. And now I'll be without a computer until I have replaced this f*cking piece of hardware. I kinda wanna die.6
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* get a good job *
* my room==my computer lab *
* iphone + vespa + sexy jacket *
* not died in terrorism * -
Me: Ugh. I always forget to change my Slack status before leaving my computer. I wish it would just update when I locked my computer. And maybe cleared the status/set me back to active when I unlocked my computer.
*realization that I’m a programmer now*
——
A week later:
... it throws a nilError exception on every running of the Automator action to the stderr file it’s configured with, but it does what I programmed it to do. What? Why? What have I done?4 -
I only take gaming breaks to heat up my computer to keep my coffee on my computer warm in order to code more its not a distraction it's efficiency
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FUCKING HELL!
I just shutdown my computer after deciding to leave the unfinished feature that I started a couple hours ago for tomorrow.
Not 5 fucking minuets later I had found a solution in my head but now don’t want to spend the time to turn my computer on to fix it. Ugh1 -
I tried to run android studio on ubuntu. My graphics driver isn't compatible with ubuntu and my computer has 4gn ram. The computer has been crying for 2 hours now and it won't stop.5
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Urghhhhh why does it feel like Monday? Where's my coffee? Where's my computer? What time is my meeting? Urghhhhh11
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When I was 8, I first saw a computer, and thought this is my future
When I was 11, I got my first computer and I thought, yep computer is my future
When I was 14, I had the option to learn computer studies, and this time, I thought nothing of it. I already knew what I was going to be. -
Friend: "Why isn't my screen turning on with my computer?"
Me: "It's not plugged in."
Friend: "Yes it is. It has power" -
Should have kept a copy of my best code off of my work computer. That way it wouldn't have been confiscated along with the computer during the layoffs. [sniff] I had some beautiful Stored Procedures I can't satisfactorily remember how to reproduce. 😅4
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Was going to school for computer science and loved it, but I had to work 40 hours/week and that still wasn't enough. Do I had to drop out. Since December I've used my computer like twice and opened devRant 3 or 4 times. Happy to say I've turned on my computer because of y'all.1
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My step father had gotten me into computer programming, more or less indirectly though.
My family supported my programming when it didn't involve destroying the computer.
All other times, it's just a magical black box to my mother -
My computer should prompt me to install updates when shutting applications down rather than opening them3
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Why, for the love of God, is the only user on the computer an administrator?! WTH Windows!! Why wouldn't I want full control over my computer if I AM THE ONLY ONE USING IT 😡😠5
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My boss ask me to install Time Machine in my computer to track my activity and take screenshots, but i'll not installing it because i'm remote and it's my own computer.3
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I broke the interwebs XD XD XD
nepripojené - disconnected
The DHCP does not see my computer, my computer says it is disconnected and I am still able to browse the internet perfectly fine :D
3 -
So I've got the highest average grade in computer in my level. Yet just because I haven't represented the school, I couldn't receive the "Best in Computer" award3
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Windows has just asked me the password to my Microsoft account to fucking access my computer.
... Do you mean that if I didn't have Internet access I couldn't use my won fucking computer? WTFF!??24 -
my mom hates the fact that I sit in front of a computer in my spare time and isnt twopence interested in what I do
My dad tries to understand that I want to work in the field of games and that I make websites - but he also dislikes my computer behaviors..3 -
My car overheated and got towed on Monday. Now, I’m constantly searching for water cooling aio for my computer. 🤦♂️2
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Tried it so many times.
Once a classmate did it to my computer while my teacher was looking at me.
1 -
Currently sitting in the lobby for my first interview for my bachelor in computer science.
Graduation is in june.
Wish me luck3 -
Classmate from final year of computer engineering class: my computer is acting strange, I think I'm gonna have to give it a formation.
😧2 -
I'm totally confident until you decide gleam over my shoulder, breathing down my neck, staring at my computer making un-helpful comments.
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This was my source of motivation that dragged me towards the field of Computer Science and Engineering
3 -
I asked my girlfriend to turn on pc. She asked: I turn on the computer are up or the computer that is under?
....ok ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
2 -
Employer: hey we need you to fix this computer.
Me: but Im a cashier?
Employer: but your studying computer science? Just use that knowledge...
Me: yeah? My labor cost for computer work is 20 an hour not 8.75.
1 -
Either "He's addicted, he only plays on the Computer" or "Hey, you know some things, can you help me repairing my Computer?"
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Last year, 2nd year of Uni, we had to create an app that read from CSV file that contained info on the no of ppl in each class and things like grades and such and had to display graphs of all the info tht you could then export as a pdf.
This had to also be sone in a team. I, however, hate doing anything other than programming (no team leader, pm bullshit) so I tell them I want to be one of the programmers (basically split the roles, rather than each one doing a bit of everything like my professor wanted) and we did.
I program this bitch wverything works well, I am happy. Day of the presentation comes, one of the graphs is broken... FUCK. I then go past it and never discuss the error. We got a 70.
I swear to God it worked on my computer -.-
I also have to mention that our professor was the client and he had set an actual deadline until we can ask him questions. After the deadline I realized I didn't know what a variable in the csv file was for and when I went to ask him he said "You should've asked me this before. I can't tell you now". My team was not the only one that didn't know and he gave the exact answer to everybody else. Got the answer from another team. Turns out it was useless.
He was the worst client ever. Why tf would you put a deadline on when you can ask the client questions?! I should be able to fucking ask questions during production if you want the product as you want it >.<7 -
Weekly Rant-
My best office prank by far was at my high school. First, I bought a USB rubber ducky and programmed it to backdoor my friends school computer with netcat and a batch file that ran in the background so that I could connect to his computer any time inconspicuously. The next day, I injected his computer with the drive when he went to turn in some papers.
You should've seen the look on his face when his computer started having conversations with the teacher. -
Gremlin
[grem-lin]
Noun
1. When a user is incompetent and blames their problems on the computer:, "My computer is full of gremlins" -
Mine was at my school when I was 13 or 15. I didn't have a computer at home because my parents could not offered a one. Back then I didn't know any thing about computers but always knew that I wanted to do something related to computers.
So, when I went to the computer lab in my school I was so dumb, I couldn't even click on a button using the mouse. We were partnered up two students per computer and me try so hard use a computer and my partner take over and show off his talent how he can use a computer.
I was sad and devastated even though I love computer I couldn't use a computer but my willingness to learn about computers science never faded a away!
Few years fast forward; I'm a web developer and I'm happy with what I do. The fellow student who showed off still contact me for his trouble shootings regarding computers.
Never give up on you dreams -
SO . . . my laptop just decided to no longer be a computer. And while I love boxes that have stickers on them and offer nothing else in terms of functionality, I should probably be able to code. And watch cat videos on YouTube. So . . . anyone ever bought a refurbished computer on Groupon?6
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Here’s my setup, a little late. I use the dual monitors with my work computer and laptop + monitor for personal computer.
1 -
I hate having a project to go on with but not being able to :(
For example: I have a project that I want to work on, but I'm currently fixing HDDs and I can't use my computer (which is a backup, therefore quite slow). And I can't stop the HDD recovery process unless I want to start again later.
PS: Am I the only one who deletes his most recent rant when he thinks he has something better to say, and the cooldown is still not over?5 -
I turned my computer off. When I came back it said "Reboot: System Halted".
I think my computer has a halting problem. -
Reinstalled my computer, installed needed programs, made a system image.
I feel sooooo good right now. -
My dad has gotten some annoying viruses in his PC and I'm getting so mad at how slow his computer is and since I'm the techie at home... //ANNOYED SIGH
I shall do it. I shall get my dad's computer rid of this crap but it's so slow oh my god >:V5 -
Anyone else talk to their code linters? My coworkers have been confused as to why I keep cursing at my computer.2
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I keep seeing all these awesome workspaces and computer setups and it just makes me hate that my dad won't let me use my work money (he has it in a savings account until I'm 18) to pay for the rest, of my computer rig I'm building, yet
I hate being a minor.5 -
I love my job,
this is how my normal day goes:
me: *turns on computer*
computer: Good morning, erandria. What will your first sequence of the day be? -
Playing The Secret of Monkey Island on my uncle's computer in 1991. I asked my parents for a computer that year instead of a Super Nintendo... for school of course.
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Why did my Windows 11 computer decide to go into recovery mode and let me do nothing but completely reset my computer 😡 this is why you back things up. Just gonna sit here for hours now while reinstalling visual studio etc 😭8
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Mom: "This makes sense. You were always good with the computers."
Dad: "Can you help get my game working on my computer." -
After many days, My computer started working fast.
Found Reason: My Anti Virus had been expired ;)1 -
Hi devRant!
I need some help on figuring out what to major in
My options are:
-Computer networking
-Computer science/programming
-Computer system administration
-Information Technology5 -
My brain, my hands and a computer. Oh, and one of them JetBrains IDEs, depending on the language I use.
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I remember the first time i didn't need to press a physical button in order to shut down my computer. I thought it was the greatest computer engineering achievement since the launch of minesweeper.
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Game development:
So I finally got a story. An actual fucking story! Anyways no development on the actual project. My computer just crashed recently so I'll be looking into issue if it can actually start up showing the screen and keyboard to get working again.
Oh and Im getting wifi tmr.4 -
everytime i turn on my computer to complete my freelancing job i end up playing games.
any fixes? :/12 -
When I was a child, I always sat next to my father when he was working with his computer. After going to school, I spent most of my time in our computer site and learned how to start programming from its manager.
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I've started having nightmares about someone hijacking my computer and trying to freak me out. Halp.1
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For those who knew, my computer crashed https://devrant.io/rants/625625/...
Now I have to set up my computer for ionic and angular and native script and whatever.
It's a bit tedious...
I'm lazy I like visual studio... All ready. -
Just arrived my new computer. I bought it from an unknown company online and it's always ok.
Ty god of computer, i will sacrifice a floppy for you tonight.1 -
Really sucks to be cleaning the whole house so that i can get a proper room to study and have my computer. After 7 hours of cleaning and moving i have my computer setted with everything. I try to boot it. It doesnt boot.1
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Not a rant, just a story.
We never had a computer, maybe one for a few months, and the only thing I remember about it is playing "brick breaker". My next encounter with a computer was when my dad bought a laptop in 2007, but I didn't use it since I was young and had no idea about it. We still have the laptop (Compaq) but it has some battery issues. Then the next and last until now is my first ever proper computer, my XPS 13. As for interaction with computers, we had computer class in 11th and 12th grade in my school, but they had the crappy old computers with pirated Windows XP running on every machine. (This is 2015-16).
So, I never had a proper interaction with computers in my childhood.
The first computer I ever had interaction with is my XPS 13. -
MY SCHOOL HHAS FOOD TECHNOLOGY AND GLOBAL PERSPECTIVES (GP MANDATORY TOO) BUT ONLY ICT AND NO COMPUTER SCIENCE
THE ICT CURRICULUM TEXTBOOK IS OUTDATED AND CRINGY
MY SCHOOL DOESNT EVEN HAVE ICT OR COMPUTER SCIENCE FOR IB
WHY
WHY
WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY9 -
Until I started posting on here, I was the only thing that was working on my computer and the only thing that I expected to work on my computer.
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Is it possible to install tkinter from USB. My laptop doesn't have internet right now. But my work computer does1
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What is your favourite languages?
<Java>
<Computer science (C++)
<Computer science (Python)>
<#C>
<HTML>20 -
My music (often MrSuicideSheep long mixes) + good mood + my computer + knowledge of IDE or vim keybindings = maximum productivity
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Was waiting for my usb drive to show up on my computer to watch a certain tv show, but realized it wasn't plugged into the computer... At least I die wait hours...
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Android class later :) the problem is i only have 4 gig of ram for my computer, anyone willing to donate? Poor country, poor computer science student, poor me. But still goin,no excuses!!! ;D4
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Finally got 3/5 offers from my choices for uni in and it's just so difficult to decide which ones to put down as my firm and insurance (((Computer Science MSc, Physics MSc, Software and Electronics Engineering BEng)-At Queens University Belfast)((Computer Science and Electronic Engineering MEng, Computer Science and Physics BSc)- University of Edinburgh))
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!rant
I took a holiday from working at a computer in the office to spend more time with my computer at home.
I wonder what I'd have done had computers not been invented. -
My first experience with a computer was inhereting my older brothers Amiga 500. The rest is history!
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