!dev

I had semi-jokingly changed my username from dextel2 to nothappy, because of that one bad day.

But, it is now when I realized that I am actually NOT HAPPY, things are lately rough, I am constantly scared for no reason, I doubt my skills, I doubt myself for no reason, and top of that there's always a chance for another epileptic attack.

I tried and keep trying to distract myself from negative thoughts but the more I try the more I fail, I've become distant with my younger brother, for the record I'm very overprotective about him. I don't even know if he feels the same, as this year ends or every day passes by I feel changed from my past self (not in a good way).

Switched my first job to get another good job, turns out they don't even have any projects and I'm just a guy they are showcasing like they have ONE amateur developer and we are looking for an entire project and it did work for one client which I'm gonna deny personally because the client is not clear about the project itself, I do not care about the consequences, my heart lies in academics and I'll put my 100% in academics, shall I'm kicked.

A lot has happened in this year, but this one is/was unique and very hard to process. I've always been joyful, sarcastic, funny, you name it, but all of it has just vanished, don't know why. I'm also becoming distant from my ONLY 3 friends and parents.

This entire google playstore review system is annoying and sometimes useless. Before you download something, you tend to check for the reviews. It's just the way it is. If you see something negative, you tend to have second thoughts of proceeding to download. These muggles think as if they were entitled with anything. "3 stars. I would give you 5 stars IF..." Shut the fuck up, man. No one gives a shit! So you wouldn't give 5 stars because the feature that only you want is not there?

As a developer I have a problem I have to get over and it's called: negative spiral thinking. It's the biggest impediment to progress (that and bureaucracy).

You sit there facing a problem, you keep focusing on the problem, but the problem spouts other problems and then you care too much about those other problems and you start fussing around, negative thoughts start to spout everywhere and you end up continuously losing your focus.

Blah.

In 2020 I want to achieve:
- develop a proper custom deployment tool (for job)
- get my boss to finally approve of me doing code reviews (we have 0 reviews 🙄, tiny company)
- never have to work on WordPress ever again
- develop or set up a company internal package repo (alt. to NPM)
- get a new contract
- get 3 open side projects done

(non-dev)
- buy some more furniture and make the appartment finally cozy and a happy place to live
- finally get over the negative thoughts of that antisocial ex
- go indoor climbing 3 days of the week, to get rid of those developer fat cushions... 😅

Wrote the following comment and deleted because I don't wanna give negative thoughts to OP on Monday 🤔 so I just decided to share this as a rant. 😳

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Thought I would just drop by to drool at the comments because I saw "artificial intelligence" and stuffs on the rant. Turn out it is a chatbot to reply when account goes offline. No offense, but I facepalm-ed myself.

I know chatbot falls under AI subject, but an auto reply isn't.

"The culture here is one of success based upon academic excellence, studying, learning, practising and having a good job and a great life. For upper India, not the lower. I see two Indias. That's a lot like Singapore study, study, work hard and you get an MBA, you will have a Mercedes but where is the creativity? The creativity gets left out when your behaviour is too predictable and structured, everyone is similar."
Steve Wozniak on Indian Talent.

As an Indian, I agree with him. In this day and age, where education is so easy to come by, We live in a country where from the beginning we're told that education is about getting marks and writing stuff down 10 times. We live in a country where we're asked to cram up answers to questions which start with "what are your thoughts on..". How can we expect to be creative?
Can marks be a metric for good candidate in a country where the thought is, "first complete your engineering with good marks, then think what you wanna do in life".
Should academic excellence really be about the amount of shit a guy could cram up?

Sure it's easier to filter out people on the basis of marks in a country with 1.3 billion people, but is it justified?
Can we justify "success" as a good job for a guy who's life's only achievement has been getting into a good engineering college?
Can we really consider a guy successful, if his only "effort" has been reading and rereading books twice, thrice, a million times. Is this person, who has literally crammed his way into life, and has no practical experience, really successful?

This is the very reason Woz giving such a statement is justified. As long as we as a country gives up the stupid thought that patriotism is all about abusing the guy who says something negative about the country, and we actually start taking an action and change our thoughts on education, we won't succeed.

doomsday out 🤟

So after dealing with hell lot of anxieties, I tried meditating. I did it for 2 weeks for now and can see difference. I have started avoiding the unhelpful thoughts. I am not fogging my mind each day with negative thoughts now.

Although I cannot say if I can still face the situations well when I'll get nervous but I know that I will try stopping my unhelpful thoughts.

Hey DevRant fam,

I hope everyone is doing very well and of course staying safe, I just would like to share an experience I've had with an interview and would like some input and of course how you may have dealt with the situation,

I recently interviewed with a company that does Analytics consulting and are looking for grads - My gut feeling went warm as I walked into the office, was asked a nice first question such as "How is your day " etc, then was asked questions along the lines of:
"You seem to have finished your degree awhile ago, how are you making your money?"
"How many interviews are you having atm? How successful in each interview are you?" etc..
As I left my body felt very negative about the whole process... also I was only asked approx. < 5 questions, it felt like i was interviewing my interviewer - didn't feel good.

how would you go about this situation? curious to hear your thoughts! I very much appreciate you guys taking the time to respond and read my post. thank you <3 - this was organised through a recruitment firm btw.

JavaScript has made my mind a battlefield of positive and negative thoughts. One side is telling me I'm not good enough, I cant do anything on my own, I dont understand how to do anything and it's always going to be like that. And the other side is telling me I'm fine it's a whole new side of programming (compared to python) and I just have to get used to it and its behavior, and I have to practice more and find good resources (which I have now thanks to a lot of you) idk I'm just struggling cause I realize how far behind I am and I wont be able to get and hold a job if I'm this shit at everything

TL;DR: What do you hate about the current interview process for software dev positions?

I have been reading interview related posts on reddit and other places and I have noticed that there is a lot of hate, especially from more senior devs, towards the typical software dev interview pattern i.e. the one focused on algorithms and data structures and I don't understand why. The current methods may be far from ideal but I think they do a good job of eliminating the false-positives. Plus, I can't think of a better alternative. Sure, by using current interview methods some good devs might get rejected because they haven't used/needed/studied many algorithms and data structures after they left college, but for any big company that gets thousands of applications every year, that wouldn't be a big issue compared to the negative impact a false-positive may create. I am still in college so I maybe biased, I would like to hear your thoughts on this.

Get out of my Fucking mind you fucking ugly negative fucking thoughts i will fcckkkl youu across ur goddamn fckin pusys mother fu kers GET OUUTTTTTTT