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Search - "never done"
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My worst developer sin is probably me talking sh*t about programs I could never have done better myself.
"Omg, this is so inefficent!"
"Omg, the ui is so confusing!"
"What kind of idiot would do that?"
...I'm not the only one who does that, am I?10 -
How did I learn how to program?
I didn't. I'm still learning ☺.
We will never be done learning.
That's the beauty of it all.3 -
I used to do some freelancing and one of the main clients I worked with had a project they hired me for that used Drupal. I fucking hated it. I thought it was bloated (and slow as fuck), unnecessarily complex, and just all around a horror to work with.
Even though that was many years ago, from other devs I've met, it seems like Drupal never really got much better. One devops guy who worked at the previous company I was at told me about some benchmarks he had done on Drupal in his previous work. The performance results he got were an absolute joke - awful concurrent performance and just a brutally slow CMS.
Needless to say, since that freelance project, I've never used Drupal again and never will.17 -
Rough analysis of LinkedIn inmail’s I get:
Hi <5% of time, not my name>,
I was looking at your profile <97% a lie>. I was very impressed with your <10% something I’ve never done> experience working for <5% a company I’ve never heard of>. Would you be interested in hearing more about <60% a job I’m not suited for>, they offer amazing benefits and have a great culture!
... no8 -
Manager: Feature C doesn’t work
Dev: We never built feature C
Manager: Nonsense, I remember feature C clearly!
Dev: It’s still in the backlog
Manager: But we had many meetings about it
Dev: Never got put on the board
Manager: Feature C is very important!
Dev: It was never assigned to anyone
Manager: What could possibly be more important than Feature C?
Dev: All the other features you placed on the board and assigned up until now
Manager: Well I need Feature C done asap! It should be top priority!
Dev: Ok then next sprint add feature C to the board and assign it to someone
*Next planning session manager leaves feature C in backlog in favour of other tickets*
*2 days later*
Manager: What is the status of feature C?
Dev: You opted to leave it in the backlog
Manager: BUT IT SHOULD BE TOP PRIORITY!
Dev: …9 -
President of my employer: how long do you thing it will take to complete x type of migration?
Me: I don't know. We've never done one.
President: well how long do you think it will take based on your experience?
Me: I don't know. I've never done one.6 -
- We need an android app. Can you do this?
+ Never done that, but I can try.
- Do you even know Java?
+ Not really, but I'll learn fast!
- Any OOP experience?
+ Well...I know CPP.
- 😐
- Will you give me a prototype tonight?
+ Don't know. How about tomorrow?
- Ok.
...
+ *makes a prototype in couple of hours, becomes a Java developer*
Just like that.9 -
Well, I was the One that was scolded. Because I basically took over without asking permission to fix a critical outage.
I fixed it within 3 minute, while the person in question have been trying for 2 hours.
He then got very angry and told me infront of everyone that "dont ever help me out".
Said and done. I never helped him ever since, even if he clearly struggled with everything.
He got fired recently due to incompetense6 -
Manager: I need estimates for your sprint tasks
Me: I've never done any of this before, my estimates have no context and are effectively worthless
Manager: don't worry it's just for the Jira board.
Me: OK *gives estimates*
End of sprint comes...
Manager: Why isn't task X done?
Me: *sigh*
I don't miss my old job :)3 -
Client: why hasnt anything been done for the new site?
Me: because you never paid for the last one thats been put into production
Client: yeah but that was a smaller simple site. I need this one up and done already
Me: it'll be worked on when I get paid for my previously worked time for you.
Client: but that was a month ago. I don't understand why you are asking for payment now
Me: because you never paid me for last months work!!
Client: but its may now
Me: holy shit, -clients name-, I know very well what month it is and dont need a lesson. I also know better than to work for free. I have bills to pay just like you and everyone else so until you have paid the last invoice, I'm not lifting a finger for you. That includes answering your calls
Client: oh well why didnt you just say that to begin with
Motherfucking fuck people are horrid and dumb and make me violent6 -
I'm so fucking done with all those "woke" YouTube programming tutorials like: "Why you should NEVER use else statements", "Why functions should ALWAYS return a value", "Why switch statements are actually EVIL" and stuff like this
I swear to fucking god26 -
I ALWAYS, *ALWAYS* do a triple check before I format a drive/USB flash drive/anything.
Sometimes I think its stupid but hey, you could never know!
Just wanted to format a USB flash drive so I formatted it with gparted, didn't go well so I took it out, back in and was about to try again when... last check....
Oh, that not the flash drive, that's my main SSD 😅
CTRL+R in gparted aaaaaand my flash drive is there again, formatted, done.
Thank you, self taught triple check 😅6 -
Just had a fucking god-mode moment.
My dear @Divisionbyzero asked me to help out with DKIM on his Linux server.
Although I'd never done it before, with the help of a search engine and root access to the server, I managed to somehow figure out what was going wrong and fix it.
This is quite deeper than I ever went with debugging!
Also a big thanks to Linux for being open, otherwise I'd be fucking fucked right now.7 -
Manager A : "You've done a great job, you'll get a X raise"
Manager A: "I was not able to negotiate it, but you'll get a X bonus to compensate for it"
*Manager A leave the society*
Manager B: "A bonus? Never heard of it"
Me : Resign.5 -
Always deliver the goods.
Even if who you work for are idiots, and the product is useless. You never know who will see what you've done.
- I did a six-month underpaid project for ShittyCompany.
- Strived to write it nice and clean with unit tests and good(barely) documentation.
- Got a call up a year later from a consultancy company who integrated with the application I wrote. Now I work for them, and it's as close to my dream job as I could hope for.1 -
Manager: As you all know I called this meeting to discuss what we will do with all of the extra resources if we are done early. I was thinking a start a new ap—
Dev: We are not going to be done early. There are two weeks left and we are way behind schedule.
Manager: Don’t be so pessimistic! You never know when or how fast tickets will be completed.
Dev: Yes I do…I’m the one doing them4 -
*opens a random website*
*chat pops up*
well done, going to make sure to never click your website again.4 -
8 rules of freelancing which newbie should know:
Rule 1: never pick up a half done website.
Rule 2: never take a job where they want to "do things themselves". And don't work with fixed prices if you calculate your price on a best case scenario.
Rule 3: don't do content management
Rule 4: don't promise a sales target on their website.
Rule 5: start sending invoices every money and not just at the end of the project.
Rule 6: Put every website on your own webserver and don't release it untill it's paid.
Rule 7: Don't work for free.
Rule 8: Don't work for free.
Credit: Jhon Dear5 -
I'm seriously considering never doing fixed rate projects for clients ever again. The conversation will likely go like this, though:
"How much to build my website?"
"$100/hour."
"Sorry, I don't think you heard me correctly. I asked how much to build the whole website."
"$150/hour"
"Wait, you changed the rate! Why won't you give me a fixed cost?"
"Why won't you pay me for my time?"
"Because I can get it done for a cheaper fixed cost somewhere else!"
"But how do you know that's actually cheaper?"
"What do you mean?"
"We pad fixed price projects precisely because we fear not being fully paid for our time."
"Oh."16 -
Product Owner: "Our definition of done is putting it on production. So you are only done if it's on production. Otherwise our sprint goal is failed."
So we put it on production.
After deploy, some content manager appears: "Why is the system doing things? I was told this should not happen today."
"Erm, we have put the feature on production as we are only done if it's on production."
"Well, yes. But it should not be live yet!"
Oh well. Communication, or the lack thereof, does never fail to amaze me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯5 -
My client has been told by his previous developer that he should never update his wordpress.
Last update was done in 2015.6 -
Hey, you know that screwdriver followup ticket you’ve been working on for several weeks? Yeah, I want it to use <feature> that I’ve never told you about and I know you’ve never used, and it looks like that means rewriting most of it! Also, I still want it done by tonight.
ASDFJ;katharevousa;hsh;klasdf
Soo not happening.10 -
Request: I don't like the way the page looks. Make it better.
Question: can you give me some more info? What is it that you dislike about the page? You approved the design, the mockup, the HTML version...and we just finished implementing the backend. Can you be more specific?
Response: make it more like this *gives link to completly new layout from a theme on themeforest*. Why does mine not look like this. Make it like this!
Reaction: *fuck this shit, never freelancing again...* Well, then do it yourself. I'm done!
// best feeling ever :)3 -
I had a recruiter contact me today, calling me Andrew in the process. Believe it or not my name isn't Andrew, and the email address they sent it to was me@MYFULLNAME.com, so they should be able to get my name right.
I responded to them pointing that out and advising they never contact me again. (In a somewhat sassy way).
In a well crafted apology I was informed that they had a great track record and that mistakes happen. Here's the email's subject line:
RE: Hi.. opportunity in New Haven, CT (Downtown- next to train station)- RUDE DO NOT CONTACT EVER AGAIN
I responded more kindly that I appreciated the apology but the subject line confirmed my position of "not interested."
This was followed up by them trying to "recall" the email, and resend it... Like I didn't notice the insult in the subject line of your apology...
Nicely done, nicely done.7 -
my habit to inspect any nicely done apps to understand how they achieve such greatness, I never felt more welcome when I visit the console, until i found Quizlet.
great place to leave easter eggs.. :)6 -
The other day, one of my cousin purchased a POS software for his bakery. He wanted me to look at it. Being curious, I did and found out that software was a decade old using MS Access as DB. He wanted couple of changes in the system and I did those in few mins.
Once I was done, he kept starring me like he never believed I could do that.
Moral: Your relatives never consider you a good programmer :-/7 -
The client requested an ability to create reports in the app I had been working on. It was completed to their specification and they were happy with it for about a week.
Then, they asked me to redo the report, changing various components around so I told them it can be done, but is time consuming because they're essentially asking for a completely different report.
Now, they never even looked at the code before and the extent of their coding knowledge is excel formulas. Their repond to me was "it's easy, just reverse the loop."
I simply did not know how to respond. "Just reverse the loop." ...I mean it's so simple, just reverse the loop... It doesn't matter that I've spent a good amount of time on this already, or that the client have never seen the code, doesn't understand coding, doesn't care about programming, none of that matter. ...just...reverse...the...loop...6 -
Laziest dev thing I've ever done.
An annoying "I-do-nothing-but-delegate-and-make-fuzz" manager proposed to create a new application with redundant functionalities, that would take me at least half a year to build.
Practically, the app would never be used and I didn't want to put effort in that monstrosity.
So, naturally I...
Pressure the right people, schedule numerous meetings, become the project manager for all internal applications and... I cancel the project.4 -
FUCK OFF!! JUST. FUCK. OFF.
I've been studying for around 4 hours and my roommate just asked me "why do you take so much time to study? Reading through it twice should be more than enough"
Simply reading trough it twice he said. MOTHERFUCK I'M NOT EVEN DONE READING THIS SHIT, THAT I'LL NEVER APPLY IRL, ONCE AND I AM NOT A KIND OF GENIUS THAT REMEMBERS EVERY DAMN DATA OK BY READING SHIT TWICE LIKE YOU. PUT YOURSELF IN MY DAMN POSITION YOU INSENSITIVE FUCK4 -
A new linear time O(N) sorting algorithm [Keep it secret 🔒]
* Compare two adjacent elements one by one starting from the first element
* If there are out of order, delete the second element and continue with step 1
* If in order, go to the next two elements
* Once done, act like the numbers you deleted never existed
Works all the time.
Not yet published. Thinking of a good name for it.25 -
Never had a client who has not done this...
"Yes I know we are releasing tomorrow but do you mind if we make these 46 tiny changes real quick?"4 -
For my school coursework, we have to create a search facility, now the problem is my class weren't taught this. So 3 sleepless nights and with basically no knowledge of Javascript, I create it. Now, I like my classmates so I don't want them to fail, so I distributed it to them with clear instructions and told my teacher that I'd done this. They asked for my help anytime it crashed but no-one said thanks, they just treated me like an easy route to a pass. I went onto my school private development forums and it turned out my teacher had created a tag for me called 'Unsung Hero' and made a UH appreciation thread that I could read but others could only type their own post. People in my class were praising me for what I'd done and how much I helped. I understand why I do development and why I'll never stop.9
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I did it! My Senior Project is done! Seven months of my life have been spent leading up to the completion of my game engine and it's finally over. It is awful and should never actually be used by anyone, but it's done and that's all that matters.
And as my final middle finger to my school's administration, somebody has to grade a binder comprised of nearly 200 pages. That's what they get for not listening to me when I told them that it was a huge project and adding more to it. Dear administration, f*** you for making my life more stressful than it needed to be.7 -
I got a urgent call from a lead dev in another department. Needed data and services and her deadline was yesterday. I never heard of it, but worked late and got it done in 2 days. Delivery success, they had cake, speeches and praised my work apparently... I wasn't invited and didn't get any cake.5
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I've always just done CSS on my own by hand for every project because I thought it would improve my skills over time but now I've discovered Bulma with it's sass variables and responsiveness and things are just so pretty now, I never want to go back9
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Bad news:
Everyone now wants their damn solution done "ASAP". Yet they fail to provide basic information. They never show up at any meeting. And ignore all my emails. FUCK!
Good news:
It's Taco Tuesday.1 -
oh man... I just spent 12 hours in the zone and made what was originally meant to be made by 4 developers in close to two weeks(coding in free time)
Aaand I also drank too much coffee...
And I've done it in Node.js which I basically never used before :D ...I applied my coding standards and habits that I use when writing Java and it went like butter... ES2015 is pretty ok actually 😊1 -
Ever had the feeling "My code is working fine but I know it's so messy and I should make it readable for others!"
-Never done anything13 -
I explained my latest project to a non developer friend. I told him I'm almost done with the code, now I just need to debug and get it ready for production.
"Why don't you write code that doesn't have any bugs?"
"Holy shit! I never thought about that! Thank you so much, I'll make sure to write bug free code from now on".10 -
*Never* do CSS tweaks over the phone and tell the customer to refresh and approve the change. This will lead to endless tweaking andlong calls at any hour, and further trivializes your work by making it look like everything can be done instantly. Better to have them send you the changes they want, then send them an update later once they have been done—perhaps with a bit of a delay to further stave off the sense of instant gratification.
Also, if they keep requesting changes to changes after you’ve done what they asked, be prepared to let them know that future changes will incur an additional fee. -
Was having a hard time completing a project given to me on my Internship.
After a long time I heavy heartedly thought to ask my question on StackOverflow and this happened
Me : How can I do this??
Asshole User : Sorry mate, but what you are trying to do is impossible
Me : "Shows that it can be done"
Asshole User : Downvotes my question and deletes his comment
Me : 😐😐😐
Now my question has 3 more downvotes
Never using SO again !!5 -
* Go to sleep at reasonable times
* Watch some of those anime I never quite finished
* Read more books
* Become more proficient with rust
* Replace go with rust at work
* Setup a weeb media center I can remotely
* Finally make a personal webpage/blog without overthinking things, to actually get it done
* Find or make a storage solution for all the memes I sto- I mean collected, where I can add tags to find them more quickly. Would love to have them have the tagging be done automatically with machine learning, but I don't think we're quite there yet.2 -
HAVE YOU JUST TRIED TO BARGAIN ON MY ESTIMATE?!
I really hate when people try to bargain on my estimates. It's done when I say so. I really think it through before I tell you the deadline, so GO FUCK YOURSELF PLEASE AND SHUT THE FUCK UP. NEVER EVER BARGAIN ON THAT AGAIN.
If you do, it will take one week longer for every time you try it.7 -
Internship Rant #2
I can't believe I'm hating my job right now. It sucks because I have never coded in javascript and they expect me to code in javascript. I don't even know what I am doing, but I'm trying my best. I kinda have something already, but the worst part of it is that my boss comes in once in a while and sits beside me looking at my screen and of course, he expects me to tell him what I have been doing and what progress I have done. It's stressful cause I specifically told him that I have never coded in JavaScript and he still thinks I can get things done in a few days.
Perks of new job:
- I can take a bath there whenever I want
- gr8 bathroom 11/10
- gr8 heater, no need to have my hands shaking all the time
- workspace is nice and everyone has an extension so my phone and laptop are always on full charge
- flexible work schedule
- easy access to company files hehehe including credentials
Anyways, so I have to deal with this for three months.16 -
Coworker was helping me getting used to XQuery, which I‘ve never done before. In the middle of the task he looked at his watch and said, that he has to do a phone call and left.
That was the last time I‘ve seen him.1 -
1. Still dying.
2. Withdrew my application for some job saying "the environment seems unproductive". I'm proud of me. I've never withdrew an application whenever I was unemployed so this is a first. This time it wasn't them telling me I'm not "the right fit" and I kinda feel like I should do this more often but like what if I could survive the hostile environment and earn something instead of literally continuing looking for jobs and this is giving me anxiety and I'm rambling but I can't stop oh my god what have I done... 🤧3 -
Side projects - Something you would like to spend more time on, but since you can't, you will never get them done.2
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Person who has an attention span of 3 minutes, has never done math before, and has no background in any form of code whatsoever, and will never need it:"I'm thinking about learning Python."
Me:"Go for it but it will be difficult to remain motivated."
Person:"But I really want to do this."
Me:"So did every corpse on Everest."4 -
pm: why this things are getting late in development.
me: no, I'm not late, on track, this will be done by end of the next week.
pm: but my estimation was for today EOD.
me: you never asked me for the estimation..
pm: we are here for that.
me: then do this yourself..*asshole* -
!rant
finally i finished a project and released my first game in google play!
very satisfaction, much wow.
now creating a list of features i will add in future updates, working on a marketing campaign and building concepts for future projects.19 -
MY SERVER JUST DECIDED TO RESTART TO DO WINDOWS UPDATES!!!
Yesterday evening I stayed up late to install some critical updates manually as I obviously have auto updates disabled.
I didn't quite get everything done so I wanted to continue the next evening when noone was using the server.
Apparently that removed the rule to never ever restart automatically...
🤔🔫
I have my damn router and app server running in a VM on there!!!6 -
"I don't see women as objects, each woman is in a class of their own! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
- People who have no fucking clue how OOP works
Objects are instantiations of classes, you poor, retarded bastards. You saw those two words while skimming your 1st year college textbook, made this joke, promptly changed to some useless English degree because you cried after your "hello world" program didn't run, and never looked back to see the damage you had done.
I know the joke is the word play but word play word play puns are retarded anyways. Everything about this pun is awful.8 -
Do you ever spend an hour editing an email reply to a client before you send it? Trying something akin to alchemy when you attempt to convert snark, veiled contempt, and shock at how stupid the client is into something professional and polite? It’s like trying to bottle farts as fancy perfume.
Like the first draft is:
“Dear idiot,
Please disconnect your computer from the wall and return it to where you bought it from and then never use a computer again you dopey fuck.”
To
“Dear Client,
Yes sir. I’ll have it done for you by tomorrow.”
God it hurts.4 -
A new guy was brought on to help with a particular part of my program.
He worked on it for a little while and got something working. But honestly the code hurts me. And not because I'm some arrogant prick, but because there's something about the way it's written that's really bothering me.
I was saying to my girlfriend that I don't mind people helping me out and adding new features. Usually they bring something to my attention that I otherwise would have never thought of.
However, in this case I was told to back off completely. This of course, makes sense, we don't want to be stepping on each other's toes. But now that he's sort of done, I've taken a look around at it is really getting to me.
They've placed redundant pieces of code in places that I would have never done. And objects have been made that seem to only match precisely one particular use case.
I had overhauled this program with flexibility in mind a while back, and now I feel like it's doing a 180 again simply because the client is getting impatient.1 -
I think my days as a dev are over
shit fuck!!!!
All i know is writing code, schematics, systems recommendations
Was given a tender doc for a project
the doc was in 2 parts "Technical" & "Financial"
I HAVE NEVER DONE A TENDER BEFORE and little did i know a shit load of documents are required
MY BOSS GOT FURIUS SINCE I DIDNT COMPILE ALL DOCS and 1 required doc was expired tried to get it renewed and renewal will take 3 week or 1 month and deadline was in 2 hours time
FUCK!!!!
F U C K M E ! ! ! ! !15 -
Man, most memorable has to be the lead devops engineer from the first startup I worked at. My immediate team/friends called him Mr. DW - DW being short for Done and Working.
You see, Mr. DW was a brilliant devops engineer. He came up with excellent solutions to a lot of release, deployment, and data storage problems faced at the company (small genetics firm that ships servers with our analysis software on them). I am still very impressed by some of the solutions he came up with, and wish I had more time to study and learn about them before I left that company.
BUT - despite his brilliance, Mr. DW ALWAYS shipped broken stuff. For some reason this guy thinks that only testing a single happiest of happy path scenarios for whatever he is developing constitutes "everything will work as expected!" As soon as he said it was "done", but golly for him was it "done". By fucking God was that never the truth.
So, let me provide a basic example of how things would go:
my team: "Hey DW, we have a problem with X, can you fix this?"
DW: "Oh, sure. I bet it's a problem with <insert long explanations we don't care about we just want it fixed>"
my team: "....uhh, cool! Looking forward to the fix!"
... however long later...
DW: "OK, it's done. Here you go!"
my team: "Thanks! We'll get the fix into the processing pipelines"
... another short time later...
my team: "DW, this thing is broken. Look at all these failures"
DW: "How can that be? It was done! I tested it and it worked!"
my team: "Well, the failures say otherwise. How did you test?"
DW: "I just did <insert super basic thing>"
my team: "...... you know that's, like, not how things actually work for this part of the pipeline. right?"
DW: "..... But I thought it was XYZ?"
my team: "uhhhh, no, not even close. Can you please fix and let us know when it's done and working?"
DW: "... I'll fix it..."
And rinse and repeat the "it's done.. oh wait, it's broken" a good half dozen times on average. But, anyways, the birth of Mr. Done and Working - very often stuff was done, but rarely did it ever work!
I'm still friends with my team mates, and whenever we're talking and someone says something is done, we just have to ask if it's done AND working. We always get a laugh, sadly at the excuse of Mr. DW, but he dug his own hole in this regard.
Little cherry on top: So, the above happened with one of my friends. Mr. DW created installation media for one of our servers that was deployed in China. He tested it and "it was done!" Well, my friend flies out to China for on-site installation. He plugs the install medium in and goes for the install and it crashes and burns in a fire. Thankfully my friend knew the system well enough to be able to get everything installed and configured correctly minus the broken install media, but definitely the most insane example of "it's done!" but sure as he'll "it doesn't work!" we had from Mr. DW.2 -
Don't talk to me I'm a programmer!
First, I'll kill you
make you leave all your children
Then I'll chop off your HEAD
now you're a zombie
I'll thread all your limbs back together
you can never REST
because I'm a master of all slaves
this is a test
And if I'm finally done with you
I'll leave you for garbage collection
Hello World!
Don't talk to me2 -
Manager: "Hi Almond, how is X going?"
Almond: "...I don't know, Bob is in charge of that."
Manager: "Ok. Do you know the status of Y at all?"
Almond: "Not sure, isn't that Bob's responsibility too?"
Manager: "Well, yeah, but I never seem to be able to get a good answer out of him. Find out on both fronts and let me know ASAP please"
...sure, I know how this goes. I'll stop all the dev work I'm doing, do your job for you, talk to the lazy bonehead that never bothers doing anything, report back that he's done sod all (or still "in a requirements gathering phase" as he puts it), be asked "why is he taking so long", have a bit more back and forth, then decide we'll just leave him be as actually trying to get him to do any work is going to be too much like hassle 😒6 -
My female coworkers ranting about "how can their partners be so stupid" on "never buying what they where asked for".
I explain to them some actions they might be doing that if done to me has the same effect like :
- asking for something and then start a non stop conversation about something else...
They look at me with a "how can you men be so ridiculous" face and say something like that...
I answer: well, try not doing those things next time and see if it helps.
They are gonna ignore me and keep living their lives without realising that men and women are fucking different...
Go girls.6 -
Me: Can you do the javadocs comments
Coworker: I've never done that, *looks for it on google*, I can't do it, I don't know how.
Me: Did no one asked you to comment you code at school?
Coworker: Yeah, but only the ones with '//'
Me: Ok, bring me coffee1 -
PM: This feature should take you about 6 hours to complete.
Me: Psh if that, it's just a view.
PM: Actually it needs this logic as well. *sends requirements*
Me: OK that's way more than a view... *gets it done and commits*
QA: I need this logic to work a way that was never on the requirements.
Me: Yeah, that's an additional feature but I'll do it. *commits and passes QA*
PM: So why didn't you finish everything on this sprint... you said that 6 hours was more than enough time.1 -
Probably the last person to enter this, but fuck, it's done! Somewhat, but not totally inspired by this week's theme, I went to Ikea today and bought this brand-new beauty, along with a rug and small LED strip and OH. MY. GOD.
Technically didn't clean it off because it has never been dirty before. More pics in the comments. Holy shit I love it.8 -
When I wasn’t the lead yet there are so many things I want to do and improve. I have asked and judged my lead’s choices a thousand times for choosing the easy and fast way instead of the right way.
Now that he left and his role was given to me, I can now sense the same judgements from my members to the decisions I make (or not make).
I now understand. We don’t always have the luxury of time. If I say yes to improving everything at once then our app will never be done. (That our bosses will blame me for)rant decisions improvements time team its too late to use typescript team stuck at angularjs 1.x deadlines wk181 lead4 -
Not learning data structures and algorithms. Not learning programming languages. Actually not learning anything to answer during a job interview.
I am more of a learn-while-you-do kind of guy. I never learn anything, instead just do it. Interviewers think I am useless because I know nothing. But I can get a job done, any kind of job done. I have no learning period, I can start working from first day in a all new language, in a all new IDE, in a all new OS.
I know nothing, and I learn nothing. I am a problem solver. You got a problem, I can solve it.6 -
Yesterday we were in a meeting discussing the online admission process for the university. Then in some point of the conversation, he said he was going to write a script to automatically check the applicants if their details are identical in the government database. We were all shocked as we hear the phrase "I will write a script" because he has never done so. Today we learnt that he was giving the work to his secretaries to manually login and check if the details were correct.3
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I am now officially 23 years old.
So many hours of work invested
So many countless blood spilled
So much sweat made
So many years passed
So many projects worked on
Summed up in 0 successful projects
If someone were to ask me to showcase what I had done in 23 years of my life, I cannot show them something that no longer exists. The projects are dead. I cannot even prove my friends what I had done other than blindly say what I had done. But behind the scenes I worked so much and am completely demotivated by all of the pressure from failure. I have actually never felt so bad on my birthday. 2020 really is the worst year ever. I feel like a failure while life is just exponentially passing by.....19 -
Got a ticket today to redo the companies html e-mail signature.
Requirements: Support for Outlook 2007-2016.
Me never done one before, thinking: "Regular Html and a bit of CSS, no biggie, can't be that hard"
Also me: "Okay let's see which CSS features are supported in Outlook 2007"
Quick google search to find out that there is nearly no support for anything and that Outlook uses Word as render engine.
Someone seriously thought using motherfucking Word to render Html & CSS is a good idea? FML9 -
I opened an Instagram account to document my work with the robot, because there is so much mechanics and dirty work and painful engineering done, which will never be acknowledged in any future paper I might publish.
For now it looks like I am doing well, since instead of dick pics from followers, I get LinkedIn requests :)7 -
One of my coworkers just had a baby, so he left work today and won't be back for a month or more.
We (accidentally) took the client's website down for 3 hours, messed up our git repo and when we finally fixed both things, I had to spend the rest of the day editing fucking vector graphics (which I had never done before and completely suck at).
I never realized how much work this guy does or how important he is until now.14 -
You know how people say insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result? Those people have never done different things and gotten the same result.1
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Had to talk to another team to change 1 value in a database I didn't have access to. It should have taken 2 minutes but instead took them two hours. This was before they went on a public rant in front of the CTO and CEO telling my team how we need to re-architect everything we've done in the past 8 months because it didn't meet their personal standards.
I have never even met these people prior and all I needed was 1 fucking value changed. Somehow my company thinks this is culturally acceptable.6 -
Google Chrome scans private files on the computer without mentioning the user and without the possibility do disable this "feature". Google never announced this anywhere.
Someone (Kelly Shortridge, @swagitda_ on Twitter) found this randomly and confronted Google. It answered that this was only an AV scan and wasn't done more than once a week.
Well, THAT'S why I use Firefox. I don't trust Google, and again and again it gives more and more reasons for this mistrust.7 -
• Plan out everything by taking notes on the rough functionality of the project and how it could be done in a preferably simple way
• Writing code, but documentating it while doing so
• Also trying to write clean code so it can be more easily built upon
• Also keeping everything simple. If I'm using nasty, unreadable one-liners because of efficiency advantages, I'm putting a comment there for what could alternatively be used + explaining it
• Abandon it because side projects never get done1 -
How often do women bring up their own gender in tech interviews? I've never done it, and I've never interviewed anyone, but I'm curious about whether it's ever explicitly mentioned (beyond a, "I'm in a women in tech group" or "I mentor young girls in my free time").
I don't want to start any debates. Just curious about what people on the Other Side of the Table see.20 -
Working on my senior project tonight I went from "oh my god I'm so far behind I'm never going to get this done in time" to "I can't wait to show my advisor tomorrow because I've gotten so much done"
Feels good -
I started doing this internship(my first internship; unpaid). I worked my ass off for the guy. He didn't have shit for a developer and I worked the best to my knowledge. Did all the work given to me during the internship.
After the internship was done, the guy expected me to work even after that because he felt that I owed him something for giving me the internship and I should feel obliged to work more for free. I asked for money. Nope.
Final Talk with him: He says I am a disrespectful fellow who will never succeed in industry.
This is fucking crazy right. He is the son of a bitch not me? Correct? Was I supposed to work after internship if the work wasn't done even if I didn't want to.5 -
Chrome blocks sites on my company intranet because the HTTPS is unsecured...
But let's a rogue JS script run that completely freezes my computer and prolly it's damaging my HD and RAM....
I had to do a forced shutdown.... I've never done that in YEARS8 -
2022 Dev Goal: Find a way to retire early so I never have to build another website or write another line of code again. It’s been over 25 years and I’m just done and over it.11
-
New ticket:
Ticket: "I just spoke with-"
Me: "LET ME STOP YOU RIGHT THERE! IM NOT GONNALET YOU FINISH! IS THERE A PROBLEM? THEN HAVE THE PERSON YOU SPOKE WITH / SAW THE FUCKING THING HAPPEN CONTACT ME! ALMOST NEVER IN MY LIFE HAS A GAME OF TELEPHONE EVER DONE ANYTHING BUT FUCKING DRAGGED OUT THE PROBLEM! WIDGET DOESN'T WORK? THING DOESN'T DO A NON SPECIFIED THING? FUCK YOU FOR DROPPING ALL THE INFO I NEED AND SENDING A VAGUE EMAIL!!!"
-ticket set to not gonna do shit until someone who saw the thing gets off their ass and says what is actually happening-1 -
Just received a test for a job I'm interviewing for. I was interviewing for a C++ position. Practice test: Create an REST API using SpringBoot, Spring Data, document with Swagger and implement continuous integration testing.
To be fair, I also mentioned I'm fluent in Java. But I've never touched SpringBoot or done any backend webdev, since my intention was to never get near it.
Deadline: Sunday. Game on...4 -
Co-Worker laughed at me for taking a task on their side project and only them have worked at it. FYI i've never worked as a Dev before and I have a really low knowledge of web developing. Well i finished the task in time and sent the pull request to one of them. Got a 'well done dude, high five'. Feels good man :)
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Spending all weekend on research and testing for a new feature, finding the perfect framework for it, going trough the API just to come Monday to work and get told by Project Lead: we can't use it, it is not in our stack.
How can it be in our stack!? We've never done anything like that before!2 -
Opening Excel Sheet in Windows..
Me: Please don't freeze...
Windows : I NEVER FREEZE.
Me : okay.. done updating.. Save
Windows : Excel is not responding
FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK......2 -
Was looking through some repositories and found this in a 2y old PR, the only PR there is and ever was in the repo..
Ends with:
> Best wishes for the Wednesday launch.
> Steve
Steve never got an answer (on the PR at least) .. but the README links to his fork now (and no other changes have been done) .. why not just accept the PR or at least close it..7 -
Soooo... This happened
Then I got to fill a Google form, there they're asking my hourly price. I've never done such *paid* work. I'm a 2nd year undergrad, what price should I set?
Please help!10 -
Junior Dev me: ok boss, coding is basically done, just need to do some more system testing.
Senior Dev: fantastic let me take a look.
(3 hours later)
Senior Dev: ok so I've made some small changes and pushed, could you pull my edits.
me: sure
(pulls changes)
(EVERYTHING Is changed)
(try to compile)
(doesn't compile)
Me: sorry, it doesn't seem to compile for me
Senior Dev: I never tried to actually build it, it's only a small change
me:7 -
Most upsetting interview rejection?
Back when I graduated college, I did the usual rounds of interviews with insurance companies, banks, various other institutional businesses set up by the college's career center.
One local insurance company interview I thought went great. Usual 'Where do you see yourself in 5 years?' type questions, told her about my job history, very high level type stuff.
Couple of weeks later I get a letter in the mail and after the usual 'It was great to meet you blah blah blah', it ended with
'State Farm will never consider you for a position with our company.'
Never?! My then fiance (now wife) yelled "WHAT DID YOU DO?!!!" and I racked my brain for anything I might have said or done. The HR lady was attractive, but I didn't stare at any body parts and I didn't make any weird sexual advances (I was nervous enough without *that* going thru my mind).
The college career center floods the local companies with graduates and I was #5 in the waiting room that day. My only guess was they got me confused with someone else.
My fiance wanted me to call them immediately to straighten out any misunderstanding, but I knew what was done, was done. It's not like they would realize "Oh, that's right, it was Bob that kept looking at Karen's breasts, not you...come work for us!" Besides, why would I want to work someplace that didn't know/care who I was?6 -
Funny how human brains are never satisfied.
Not much to be done at work today? My job is unproductive and I am wasting my time.
Too much work? You think you fucking own me, bitches!!1 -
I’m done with people that derail meetings and discussions.
While I want to seek feedback for an Interface that I wrote, these attention seekers decide it’ll be the perfect opportunity to bring up the topic of “how functional programming paradigm facilitates better encapsulation”.
Everyone else follow suit. I try “time checking” and bringing the talk back on track. Never worked.
I’m concluding that meetings are shit and a COLOSSAL WASTE OF TIME.6 -
Our job is basically doing something new or something we've never done everyday and trying to guess things over and over again until it works.5
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Manager : (During 2 weeks before final release) So the client asked if we could have this xyz functionality which we never have done before.
Me: But we already have so many issues to fix and only a week to do that
Manager: that's true.. So Complete them in 3 days ?1 -
I never use linux, we are entirely on windows everything at work...i'm a .net guy, and all my home stuff is on windows too. But, I have to take a linux class so I got ubuntu going on a virtual box. Prompt for updates comes up (shit, here we go. on a virtual machine with hardly any resources allocated to it no less, better get comfortable). Hit install and it's done before I can even finish shitting my pants in shock at its speed. Seeing all these "linux is better" rants in a slightly different light already, and looking forward to poking around with it5
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FINALLY FINISHED THE THING I WAS WORKING ON SINCE LAST MARCH!!! THIS HAS PISSED ME OFF SO MUCH!!! TEARS WERE SHED!!!FEELINGS HURT!!! BUT IT'S DONE!!! I AM NEVER TRANSLATING SOMETHING FROM C++ TO C# AGAIN!!!
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Over the last year, I’ve only started learning computer science at uni, never done it before.
I’ve done units in:
- Alg. and programming fundamentals in python
- Intro to comp sci
- alg. and data structures
- theory of computation
Guess the point of this is, “why do people code, what aspirations do you all have?”
Cause rn, I’m all about “I have no idea what I’m doing, coding just seemed cool and I wanted to try it out.” Don’t know where to go
Someone inspire me???
Here is a legit reason for you to brag about what you do and what you’re going to do 😉13 -
I am 99% done with my academic project, but still the workload is heavy, and I've got too much on my plate already, mom's spaghetti
-
Biggest regret is not what I have done, but what I haven't. A long long time ago, in the early 90s, I had a great idea for a game, but somehow I never made it come true. A few years later, Maxis launched a game very similar to my idea, and it was called The Sims.4
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Me: I have so much to do! How the hell am I going to get all this done?!
**hears someone say something about some framework/library I don't know**
Me: hmmm let me google that real quick then I'll get back to work...
**3 hours later**
Me: damnit! I'm never going to get my work done! -
dev goals? get shit done!
I have this common illness among devs:
I start projects and never really finish them.
Hate that. Feels so empty.
So this year I finally want to get shit done.4 -
Quitting job because of Java and legacy corporate OSGI codebase. Being junior developer I'm just done with no documentation, terrible team support and non existent code review. After 18 months I can't justify staying any longer. Never had luck with Java and I guess some things just stay the same.
Joined only because of Javascript part, just to be thrown into fullstack position. Stayed way longer because of COVID. Good old simple PHP I loved and foolishly left because of money.4 -
Our smart and very professional sales guy strikes again,
I had to do some research on if I could print a pdf file directly from the server (be it php / nodejs)
When I told him I had found a solution he said, good job and went away, I was like...hmm k..
A few days later he came to my senior being mad that the project wasn't done in time.. And we were like.. Dude... What project!?
Apparently he made a deal to have a working demo in two weeks, but we (our dev team) never got that message...3 -
I went for an interview yesterday and everything went fine, today I was asked to complete a technical test. I have done plenty of these in the past but never have I come across something as invasive as interviewzen.
It records every key stroke and plays it back to the interviewer, I assume they are watching on the webcam and recording audio too. I find the whole concept horrendous.
I closed that shit straight away and will tell them I'm no longer interested.
Anyone used that site before?5 -
PM - Client wants to know if we can do this? Also, how long will it take?
[Spend 2 hours researching because you've never done this before]
Dev - Yes, it'll take 15 minutes.1 -
That's it, I'm done. I'm SO. FUCKING. DONE. Whoever created such a badly monkey ass coded shit and named it "Drupal" should have been aborted with a fucking hanger.
No one was here today because they were all at a Drupal Con that I never heard of. Glad I didn't. So they told me "yeah there are one year bug to fix, if you could do them all in a one work day that'd be greaaaaat". FUCK. YOU.
This shit is slowly sucking my passion away, and while I could spend 15 hours to code per day a few months ago, now I'm stuck to debugging shit that should have work without a Drupal environment. Tomorrow I'm going to see my manager and tell him to get me the fuck out of this and make me do something that would make me enjoy living again. I can't believe I'm getting trouble for this kind of low shit stuff, really.
And it started to rain. Fuck.6 -
Just had an interview with our new potential product manager. I companioned our CEO, if technical questions arise...
First, he came to our office, to the interview, and never..never looked at our application. Neither he saw some screenshots, review's or anything related to the product. As a potential product manager...gasp
And he really tried to impress me, by mentioning what a great full stack developer he also is (LOL), with years of experience in frontend and backend.
But, since I am an android software developer, he mentioned he don't like java. But he loves java script...
Me: ehhh what? So you compare apples to oranges. Why do you don't like java? (And I could image a lot things ...)
Him: because unlike JavaScript, java is a mess when writing code.
Me: ok Iam done.9 -
A friend of my mom asks me transfer some files from her hard disk to her pendrive because I am supposedly *good with computers*.
As an obedient son, I go to her house to do the needful.
I switch on the laptop and plug both right in. At this point, I am wondering if this really my life is for.
Lost in my thoughts, I accidentally format her hard disk. Now I freak out. Seeing no possible way out, I remove both and say her work is done.
I quickly leave the house and never look back. To this day, I have never gone back to her house.2 -
When graphic design agency hands over inconsistent, partly done "desktop" A4-layout made in 2 days in InDesign. "Okey developer guy, make it responsive, magically. Oh, and pixel perfect!!" Design agency takes 40% of the budget. Never again.2
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Does anyone else feel like they're the smartest, most experienced dev on the team. And there's like a huge gap between your and everyone else?
So you have your own work and things you want to do, but end up spending a lot of time helping or fixing everyone else's whenever they get stuck?
So in the end you can barely get your own work done and never get any free time to do the things you really want to work on/learn?10 -
Hoo lets do this app on windows with Visual Studio, never done windows desktop apps and I want to learn :D
....
....
2 days later : boot -> linux -> eclipse -> files -> new Java project. 😑😑
Not for me sorry...4 -
Freelance client calls freaking out because she needed the website changes done by yesterday morning because she had some huge meeting with potential investors....
I feel bad but I don't, she never told me anything about needing it done by Sunday morning.
This is exactly why I hate freelance work. Lack of communication and then they blame you5 -
Stupid fucking idiot startup asshole hired me as an intern. Promised me the money after the work is done. We were friendly during the internship. The work is done and now it's been a week and still no money yet. He's saying it'll take some time. To beat you to shit it'll take some time you asshole!
Lesson learned: Never ever be friendly with the guy who hires you. Like never!!
Also money later isn't a good thing.8 -
I fucked up.
I shared information that should have never been said with my wife.
Now she knows and she won't leave it alone.
It's changed her perception of me, clearly, and she's made several comments that have bothered me for a couple reasons.
In either case, the damage is done and there's nothing I can do to stop this shit train from rolling me over.15 -
This is the last time Microsoft! I'm getting my old Arch image out and removing you from my life forever! Never again will my linux distro randomly uninstall itself without telling me in the middle of implementing new components and crash my development server. Never again will I have to deal with an update that refuses to STFU and go away until I, ME NOT YOU MICROSOFT, decides it's a good time to run the update. No more lack of customization and poor support of common dev tools. I'M DONE WITH YOU, WE NEED TO SEE OTHER PEOPLE.2
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Dear Target App Developers,
I think you left some debug code in your app...
I know you want to know if someone is using a VPN and that's cool with me, I get it.
But when I'm on a VPN your app constantly pops up a modal with my IP address every time I change a page in your app....
Might want to look things over a bit closer before you put it in production ;)2 -
"Hey business, we've done some style changes in a new test evnvironent, can you check to see everything looks fine?"
"Page Y (which you've never heard of before) looks terrible!"
"It does! Sorry" - go check the page on the other test environment.
That's just what it looks like.1 -
I really want to stress that we should add the ticket for adding the missing test cases in *this* sprint and not postpone it any further.
-- "Isn't there something more important to be added instead?"
There. ALWAYS. Is. Something. MORE. Important. The real problem was that we implement the test cases in the past to begin violating our definition of done. We have to fix and one point and we have to own that decision as nobody else will care about passing tests and test coverage. It's our job to care for that.
Yes, we can instead focus on all the other high-priorities task that should have been done yesterday, yet that won't change the fact that large part our codebase will remain an untested messy blackbox just asking for weird bugs and wild goosechases in the future.
Don't hide behind "high priority tasks". A job is done when it is fucking done and tests are part of that. Hurrying from one important task to the next will just mean we'll never do it. There is no better time than right now.
If code coverage got left behind in the past, then we'll have to suck it up in order to fix it as soon as possible, otherwise we'll just suck forever.rant workflow priorities something more important agile own your shit developer sprint planning sprint testing test1 -
Anyone know of any hosts NOT running on amazon/silicon valley/microsoft cloud?
I'm specifically looking for a host thats setup for or works well with python.
I'm about done with censorship and noplatforming. As a moderate that for a very long time was left of center, these practices are never justified.49 -
I am well done, burnt and carcinogenic. The constant pressure to always produce, always post a profit, always increase, always commit, always stand-up and succeed is fucking exhausting and ultimately and totally unsustainable.
There are never any fallow years anymore, or days of rest...our dirt is dying...and the earth is weary and worn out. Antartica is getting green...grrrr, and my head is melting too.
Why the fuck can't we slow down a little bit?
#hatehashtags C#needtheocean
// allow1 -
The marketing dept comes to me and ask for an important project to be done ASAP. Builds pressure on my PM to get it done fast. After I complete it, I ask them to complete UAT to make sure it is what they wanted so we can go live. They seem to not have enough time to test it. After one month the whole dept gets divested! Is this common or I am unlucky? They never used that very important app ever!!😢😠2
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Some customers are nice.
Ive been working with a customer to enable a feature in the database. It was tough, because the escalation from support was your standard 'Customer wants apples in the T-1000, please do the needful'. After several emails back and forth we reach an agreement about what needs to be done.
This is something I'm sure can't be done. I test it in my local install, yep, confirmed that's normal behaviour. The customer, however, is stalwart - he's suggesting changes to the database that would potentially give him what he needs. I figure if he's going to this much effort, I'll confirm with our product specialist to see if there's a way around it.
Five minutes later I'm emailing the customer with an apology as I have unwittingly never known of, or committed to memory, the existence of a distinctly non-hidden check box that enables this exact function. I pass this box several times a week at least, and I've worked on this software for two and a half years. Never have I needed to use it, so my brain just processed it as background imagery.
The customer just responded with the kindest email absolving me of my sins, thanking me for my humbleness and for my time.
I want him to have more problems so I can work with him more.2 -
When java was facing extinction, during the JavaScript, Node, and reactive programming hype. It did what it had always done. just adapt to the hype and maintain backward compatibility. We can all learn a thing or two from the humble java. It never rushes, it's patient. Be calm and wait before you hype yourself.2
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What do you tell interviewers as a "Senior developer" when they ask you what you do at your current job.
I've been with my current for almost 8 years, since graduating... Few different time but not very well managed (semi/barely agile). Hasn't really provided any skill growth opportunities. Mostly fixing production issues, chasing other teams.
The projects I've worked on are in many different languages either enhancements or some standalone stuff. But nothing that's huge and I don't think I've learned anything from them. I usually apply what I learn and practice outside of work to work.
So to me I can probably list a whole lot of projects but to me their not that amazing, I didn't learn anything from them.
Also about those algorithm questions. I've never used any of this stuff actually at work. Concepts yes but not how do you implement ... And honestly I've never once had a situation that required algorithmic thinking other than maybe writing recursive functions in rare occasions...
But to me I've never once done anything harder or new which I haven't already done on my own....
Sorry for the disorderly rambling this turned into... which is sorta a problem too.
Everytime I think about interviews, I want to give rants about we technical questions are BS, how I probably have enough real experience to tackle any problem and come up with a good plan/solution (in a realistic timeframe, not 20 minutes from design to implementation)2 -
when installed the Boxy Theme for the sublime text and make scroll are to the end (had never done it)2
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I was asked to add full page takeover announcements to a website, even though there's a perfectly reasonable announcement system already in place.
I objected on religious grounds - doing that would undoubtedly get me sent to developer hell (also knows as COBOL).
But the client wasn't convinced so I made them a demo. I immediately got a message back saying "wow, that's a lot more annoying than I thought, please remove it".
Of course all of this was done in a separate branch, so this blasphemous code would never be in my master commit history.1 -
I think a question should be added to tech interviews and maybe the most important one.
How many times in a week do you use Google/internet to look for a solution to/information about ur problems.
Tests for a developers ability to learn or try to figure things out themselves..
Feels like a lot of people on my team just do it the way it's always been done ,. Which is ahitty.. and if they don't know something,.. they need to ask someone instead of trying to figure it out themselves...
Reminds me of that fish adage?
They never learn how to fish....26 -
Probably a mathematician. I would be a very different person though, because a key element to my current lifestyle is that I never have to use my mathematical insight to the fullest and therefore I can work despite hangovers from nearly any substances. If I had to be sober to get anything done I'd need a level of self control which is very far from me at the moment.11
-
Really need to find a small project to work on, every other small project I start turn's itself up to 11 in scope and ends up getting shelved -.-
Why can't i just keep things small!
Plus any other project that stays small ends up requiring something complicated that I've never done, why do I do this to myself...4 -
University decided we have to use Wolfram Mathematica with instructions how to *cough* find it *cough* for free. I was really annoyed with this, because I didn't want to "find it" so I stumbled upon SageMath and it's working good enough. I get pissed when somebody tells me I have to pirate software (I'm no saint, I've done it before), it's not fair to students who don't have 100$ to throw at a software they'll use for 3 months and never again probably...6
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I hope I never make it.
It sounds to me like I'm finished or achieved some kind of perfection....
As if my job is done.
In the nightmare category, it's definitely in the top 3...
Not working for more than 7 days and I'll turn into a psychopath.
My longest hospitalisation was 3.5 weeks. After 5 days I talked with the nurses. I played / entertained elderly people, with permission of course...
I guess that saved me from going bananas....1 -
Be me at work, 12h nights shift, 4th day like that
Following online course on machine learning, instructor says we'll use python 3.x as the interpreter for the project, boot personal laptop and start pycharms, create the file, choose right interpreter no big deal
pip install the modules I need for the course - done, try to import them.
Doesn't work, first reboot, still not working, browsing Internet for answers, no ideas, reboot again (you never know) reload pycharms, browse Internet again, find out the modules only work on python 2.7.
Wasted 45minutes for this shit
Feels good bro.2 -
In 2020 I want to achieve:
- develop a proper custom deployment tool (for job)
- get my boss to finally approve of me doing code reviews (we have 0 reviews 🙄, tiny company)
- never have to work on WordPress ever again
- develop or set up a company internal package repo (alt. to NPM)
- get a new contract
- get 3 open side projects done
(non-dev)
- buy some more furniture and make the appartment finally cozy and a happy place to live
- finally get over the negative thoughts of that antisocial ex
- go indoor climbing 3 days of the week, to get rid of those developer fat cushions... 😅6 -
Never designed a website before. Decided to go against my team's advice and use React. Neck deep in my own shit and nobody can help me because they don't know React. Should've just done it the boring way. Fucking pray for me people. It's due next Tuesday.... 😭2
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[serious] I'm a Windows guy. Been so my whole life. devRant community, I'd like to start playing around with Linux. As someone who has never done that before, where should I start? We're talking total noob. Thanks in advance.8
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Stopping myself from always proclaiming how things "should have been done in the first place" - as if I never implemented anything the wrong way.
Too much focus on hinsight is an ugly thing. -
Startup: We are looking for interns. Do this project that we know will take you a week. But your chances mostly depend on this project.
Me looking for my first internship: Takes complete 2 days to submit the project which had so many open-ended questions. They review and say I aced the project and would like to interview.
Interviewer 1: From the beginning starts asking me if I myself have done this or that, gets thrown some questions that I answer immediately and then suddenly get accused that I must have copied from a tutorial on an open-ended question. I used what I learned from my previous projects, what do you want from me. You never specified all the cases. Then he said is done.
Interviewer 2: Hello, we are a new startup. We will make you work 40 hours a week. Then he lied. Are you allowed to lie?? He said we are unpaid (I read it wasn't) to ask what motivates me. The other interviewer on being asked did say that it wasn't unpaid. By this point, I was done.
Got rejected today. Wasted almost 3 days on their stupid project. I am so salty!!!19 -
I really wish I had worked somewhere that was hacked, so as to know how it was done, how it was found out, and what measures were taken, from the inside.
The problem is that I worked at a lot, and big places. We were never successfully attacked or hacked as far as I know. Was our security so good, that nobody succeeded? Or was it so bad, that we didn't even notice? -
I never had a good boss, I've got two of the worst stereotypes of boss :
- the exigeant non-tech thinking he knows tech that asked to make an Android app for 1000€ and forgot to say he wanted an iOS app also
- The typical "fonctionnaire" (don't know if there is an equivalent in English, it's a state worker in France) manager, who thought his work was the only important work, who made me do a work I would have done in two weeks in 6 month1 -
Oh shit it's a !rant, if you don't like !rants then scroll past this please.
When out of all my dumb classmates there's actually one that never learned much about programming before going to my school, got interested and is right now developing a library of CLI games... Of course I help him if he has any questions, and I will probably review his code after he's done.6 -
MD came round and said thanks for pulling out the stops and working on stuff I never done to get projects done. nearly fell over.3
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I really hate slow developers
No scrap that I hate developers who claim they have experience and knowledge but are so slow and can’t grip the basics.
Surely if you’re are experienced you should be able to work independently and not have someone hold your hand the entire time.
We will never get things done we are a small team as it is you gotta pull your weight man12 -
Right now what i want to do is just quit everything, move somewhere else, get a job and never fucking look back. Im sick of all these projects college dumps on me, the idiots im surronded with, my job, people who think im interested in their fucking research. I just want a 8 to 5 job and after 5 im fucking done and nobody calls me about how long will the next release take for projects i dont give a shit about.
In other news i just started my thesis yay.1 -
Haha this is the first time ever I have had to play catchup on a class as much as I am currently doing with one inside of my graduate program :V it has been absolute hell man.
On one side I love the concept and topics and will definitely dig more shit on it for myself for future reference and application. On the other the instructor and his OVER THE TOP CHINESE ACCENT will forever hunt my dreams and provide for major pain.
Can't wait for this class to be ovee. Sadly i might not get the grade that I want, but I know I am gonna pass it.
Never man. I ain't no brainiac, but I know for a fact that I have never done so poorly in a class in my entire life and I honest to heavens blame it on this dude not being able to explain shit properly or provide feedback on a timely basis.2 -
*Screaming Internally* I'm really, REALLY, stressed.
We just entered the final sprint for the finishing of a major project. This is my first "Launch" type achievement since I started working as a programmer(I started almost exactly a year ago)
We have a lot of work done on the project, and it's very clearly near "Completion" but we all know a programmers job is never done.
But specifically I've been thinking about the code i've worked on. I've been at the burnt out phase of the development for a week now, I haven't been getting a lot done, and I can't help but stress that my code is going to be what breaks on launch day and i'm going to get canned or something...
It's not that i'm a bad programmer(at least I don't think) but more or less that I just have been so stressed I think I've made some mistakes, and I think it's going to blow up in my face, and I might lose my job over it.
How do you guys deal with work stress?1 -
Have you ever worked in a team that actually did everything right?
I have never seen anyone talk about a team in which things got done.
I'm a solo coder, so, don't really know either way. Sounds like mostly, teams are a mess b/c they aren't done right for the most part?
I dont know actually, but seems that way.10 -
Saturday morning. 10am.
Me: happily sleeping on the sofa in a friend's apartment.
Boss calls: 'oh did I wake you up? Can you please develop this mockup over the weekend?'
Being half asleep I agreed.
Well. After 7h without any break it is done. But one Saturday is lost and I'll never get it back :(6 -
I hate React. I keep reading that people have problem of grasping it, but that's not the case for me. I get it, I understand it, but I hate with passion HOW it's done knowing how nice it's done elsewhere. What really triggers me is how ugly it looks, both from architecture and code level. To me it really say a lot when even code shown in documentation looks ugly, and while reading it you ask ourself constantly "why it's done this way?". When I read React being called an "elegant" solution something explodes in me. Did you saw Svelte? Vue? Damn, even Alpine.js?
I just cannot how overengineered this API is. Even doing simplest things there produces so much junk code written only because this is what library requires. Why? I feel like working with it is a punishment.
And scalability and maintainability? I've never seen large-scale projects more messed up than those wrote with React. And yes, you can blame teams working on them for lack of skills, but it is the library which encourages or not good practices also, and I've never seen such bad situation with other libraries/frameworks.8 -
Got bored and started work on a basic 2D game engine using vala and GTK to provide basic windows and UI...
If I can get a sprite moving on screen with at least 8 axis of movement I'll consider it a job done and throw her on GitHub and probably never touch again 👍8 -
So I go into Google Search Console to try to determine why its saying pages are not compliant with mobile and whatnot.
3 hours later I come out realizing that what Google REALLY wants is for everyone to build every web page as static HTML with no script tags and never a call to an external website. Just dump all that javascript and css and HTML into one BIG FRIGGIN FILE so our crawler feels satisfied that it's loading everything all in one request.
No CMSes allowed unless GOOGLE built it.
Let's just all revert to HTML 1.0 and be done with it.1 -
How greedy can you get?
> boss takes half assed gdpr project : branch xyz
> branch xyz requires deprecated version of npm/node
> I re-install node this time with deprecated version
> Wow this node is configured with ant build
> ECMA 5, config but code is shit as fuck
> still I get the job done , cannot test it because code is shit as fuck and I will never any thing to fix that un healthy code
> code doesn't run on client side,
> no shit Sherlock
> get a call from boss, it urget look in it and fix it -
!rant
So, my friend and I want to start a small business. For that, we will need an online shop. Since it's not happening tomorrow, I figured I could take the time and build it myself.
However, I've never done anything of the sorts, so... where do I start?
I don't have any specific tech stack in mind, I am new to it all.
Help?22 -
quote: companies would never be paying you enough, they would pay you the bare minimum to get the work done, so learn to negotiate until you have good options.
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No motivation these days to do any work from home. All I want to do is watch Youtube/Netflix/Hulu or play Valorant (fps shooter). I don't know if I'm just addicted to games again or if my motivation so low I just don't want to look at work. It all kicked off when 3 of the tickets I finished and got merged to develop were reopened by my QA person for obscure issues, then my PM decided to throw 3 extra tickets in mid sprint, and I just said "fuck it" and started playing games instead.
I don't know what to do. In the over year I've been at my company I've never done or felt this way while in the office. I've always got stuff done, but now working from home I feel very shitty.18 -
No matter how much social skill improvement I do, it never makes meetings with non-tech leadership type people go as I expect. It is ridiculous how I have gotten so good at communicating, to the point where I can easily manipulate people, but they won't fucking have a straight conversation. Do non-engineers have an inferiority complex every time an engineer slips and says a technical term?
I just sat down in a meeting where I was grilled for answers, and when I went to explain the bigger principal that made them confused, they didn't want that much detail. Wtf? Just tell me you don't care and you want the job done, no need to pretend you want it done together just because you want it done now and your way.4 -
when the project manager asks you if you have an ETA on the project you're trying to finish because deadline is a few hours. You have never done the thing you're trying to complete before so you have no baseline for it and they know that.... nope but you'll be the 2nd person to know when it's done, maybe next time don't promise deadlines without consulting the devs?1
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jesus christ a fucking company funded at 110 million A seed round can't figure out why i'm still getting charged despite the fact that I unsubbed in fucking april
...and they're using stripe!
i've been using stripe with my SaaS for 3 years and never had an issue with a single customer - if they don't unsub themselves, they email me and ask me to do it for them, done.
fuck the world fuck everyone
i just really don't have the motivation or inspiration to do anything anymore
call it ego but this isn't fucking rocket science8 -
So I started at a new company about two months ago. I was hired as a Senior .net developer, which I am well qualified. I also told them that I did MVC but haven’t done react or angular.
So my first project with this company is building a react-native app. (Never done a native app either) The craziest thing is I am the most senior on this project too.
What is even crazier, I still work for my old company on the side, and the only .net I am doing is for them. And even funnier, my old company thought the reason I was leaving was to do more .net development.2 -
Never saying "I can't" or "I don't know how". Instead saying "I'll try" or "I haven't done that yet", and trying to complete the project or task.
And asking the experienced people around myself how they would have approached a project to get different perspectives.
Also keeping an open mind, trying to use new technologies when it's appropriate. -
That one moment you create something so magical that you never even intended to write and don't even realise what you have done until after it is done 😮1
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When your boss ask to convert the system to the new framework version, but still ask the other team add new module. Then said why your work never done hmmm.2
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Don't you just love estimating the story points of a ticket that is completely irrelevant to your role. How do I estimate work that I have never done in my life? 🙄4
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Going to design a contract for my services it's going to include additional costs for additional changes because with clients the job is never done 😉😉3
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Why? Why?
Of you, you were the last I've expected such failure and misery...
Not once, not twice, but I have you a chance so many fucking times...
I won't deny it, we've been through good times, done so may things together, and I admit that I'd never be able to work without you.... this codependence is just too damn fixated...
But, I think I should part ways with you, I'll visit sometimes, not just to have fun, but mostly because of work matter.
Sorry Linux, you've failed me, I'm leaving you for Windows.5 -
Why the fuck is every tech lead and manager obsessed with the idea of breaking down tasks?
It's true some tasks can be broken down into smaller ones. But there are situations where a task needs to be done by 1 person in X days. Breaking it down into 2-3 tasks so that "they can be done in parallel" actually requires more efforts among devs, introducing unnecessary complexity and more risks.
9 women cannot deliver a baby in 1 months ffs. I guess these people never learn.7 -
>be me
>drinks coffee daily
>goes a day without drinking it, tries to code
>has problems focusing & getting things done
>has trouble staying awake
Never code without drinking coffee
My face when I had 15 errors in 40 lines of code2 -
How does BAs always manage to turn everything into a life story? "It was at this point I realized, no, this is not the way. How could it be that we had done this for so many years? So it's time for a change, and from now on we will never face these challenging times ever again!"5
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Have decided I'm never coding anything sober ever again, do my best work after few and somehow become the code whisperer...
Been struggling to get notifications on my Vala application to work outside of my test project... Spent about 4 days trying to work out why only to realise I never initialised it as a GTK application and only created a GTK window, so I've been trying to use some of the back end aspects when all I have actually done is create a front end with nothing else... Ugh2 -
I have just been invited to a Technical Test Server for the game I currently play most, but I have some development in progress! God my life is full of hard choices!
Spoiler: I'm playing on the TTS right now :x -
Alright, epic throwback to high school
-So I'm taking this CS course on java
-Teacher seems legit
-Knows his shit
-Gets the job done
-Introduces the class to an IDE
-Such wow
-I whip out my Eclipse Oxygen (with Hello World preloaded, obviously) like the nerd I am
-Suddenly:
-BlueJ
-Literally the worst editor ever
-And teacher somehow expects us to work in it with git
WTF.
For those of you who have never worked with BlueJ, thank God you haven't.
/end rant
What new languages should I learn? I'm working on C++, but PHP seems fun...11 -
I wanted to accomplish new things today.
Instead I'm swimming in:
"This worked before"
- No it never worked that way, you want it to, but it never ever ever has done that thing NOT EVEN CLOSE.
"The thing..."
- Wtf is the god damn 'thing'? How could anyone possibly know what you're talking about? How do you go about life like this?
"How come we can't make it do X?"
- Because the code can't read your god damn mind, that shit isn't in the database, you don't update it and your laundry list of minor fixes for one time or non issues has resulted in you getting coded into a maze of stupid custom code so deep you're NEVER GETTING OUT!!!!
"Is your timezone before or after our timezone?"
- I DON'T FUCKING KNOW, I JUST TOLD YOU MY TIMEZONE, DO YOU EVEN FUCKING KNOW YOUR TIMEZONE?!?!?!? IF YOU CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO LOOK UP YOUR FUCKING TIMEZONE I SURE AS HELL AM NOT!!!2 -
I have procrastinated for four days straight. I have done nothing of what I should have done.
I've never been more productive though. Wrote a multi-platform SamacSys library-loader clone in Rust. I haven't written any documentation yet as that's about as boring as the stuff I have to actually do. 🙃
https://github.com/olback/...2 -
god remind me to never work with an education software company again
first, they didn't even know my course has been done for months, like, does anyone look at what your company produces?
then, they completely change the intro page and wording, have to reado that, its anyway a wall of text which they probably smugly think is good for SEO, *WRONG*, if every page is formatted nearly the same with some words swapped out you for sure are PENALIZED, not rewarded... clueless clowns
and NOW, I need exactly to-the-pixel dimensional images????? wtffffffffff
all for a course that *MIGHT* bring in something like $500... *MIGHT*
I mean for these courses it's more important about giving back and helping the community, but asking this much paper pushing busy work bullshit that you know won't even amount to an hourly wage north of something like $2... it's just not worth it anymore
never again -
Hey DevRant Fam! , i really hope everyone is doing very well as always! :D <3 I'm currently now learning c# MVC5 which is incredibly new to me and something I've personally never seen and or done, but i love a challenge!.
Now onto something bit more 'somewhat' personal :D, for about 5 years I've been undergoing Immunotherapy Treatment because i suffered from serve chronic eczema and last week was my last ever consultation! I'm incredibly happy to be done with it, another stress lifted off my shoulders :D.
Anyways guys and gals, i really hope everyone is having an amazing day and or night wherever you may be in this world :D
Best wishes <3
Milo10 -
// First rant
So I've spent the last three days trying to send requests to a website in C# (never had done that, so I had to learn from scratch) and using XPath to select certain nodes from the html.
Today, I port it to a new UWP project and turns out it doesn't support XPath. I guess I should learn LINQ now...fml1 -
wizz kid in my office has been working on a back end heavy web based application for 2 weeks. I joined it 1 week ago to learn php since I have never done any oop and only very basic php and mysql scripts.
now he's pissing off for a week and leaving me 70% of the app to complete and code that goes 6 classes deep.
The app has to be demo ready in 1 week and my boyfriend as thinks everything is fine.
fml right...3 -
Learning information security yet again after doing multiple information security things for company and manager is pushing to do it saying "due immediately" and they're after sending "a number of emails" (it's due in a month and they sent 1 email).
Annoying that these things must be done again and again just because someone in sales let something slip or left their journal behind like a dumb dumb. It's not like I'm never off-site with my stuff or I interact with customer(s) yet1 -
What do you do when you are to work on something you have never worked on before, and you are stuck, and you are too noob to understand the solutions provided on SO (if any); except pulling your hair and crying? Because that I have already done and you bet it didn't help.1
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My best and worst dev experience this year was getting a new job.
The bad parts: I’m inheriting a code base that was maintained by an outside agency, so there’s very little documentation. There’s a lot of systems maintenance and upgrades that have to be done because it was never done. I’m working at a larger organization, so tracking down who I need for info can be tricky. I’m the only person maintaining my code base.
Now the good parts: Better pay and benefits. My co workers, dev and non-dev, are always helpful. Since the dev team is small, we are very discerning when we pick up work for the websites. I have more independence to self-learn. I’m not at a blame culture. My role is permanently remote.
So far I think the good outweighs the bad.2 -
- never push to prod on friday or before lunch time
- doublecheck fucking everything
- test your code before and also after you push it
- you remember yesterday your colleague/boss/pm told you his part will be done by now? well guess what, its not! it never will be... -
Am I unlucky or perhaps in the wrong place if I’m always stressed as a junior dev coz too much pressure and they give you super tight deadlines and do languages that you never done before?
Or is what most people go through when they were juniors9 -
I get plenty of sleep and wake up to my manager talking about escalating tickets. I'm on support this week and my queue was empty yesterday, but there were several new "urgent" requests that never got assigned to me.
Wait, so I'm responsible to assigning tickets to myself now? Our support is so shitty now. Our good document got hacked to pieces and now I can't find anything, and the customer support people are constantly bitching if things aren't done right now for tickets I was assigned while I was asleep.1 -
Client emails for a wordpress site:
12:46 - Can you change the header color to #xxxxxx?
12:47 - Also can you change the text on this page? ( not part of our contract)
12:49 - never mind, I've done it already.. I'll contact you if I need more help.2 -
Is sleeping on your desk an actual thing which happen or it is a misconception provided by movies?
I have never slept on my desk no matter how tired I am (I had done a week coding marathon) .I always wrap myself with fluffy blanket when sleeping.11 -
So I am in a computer science class and we had a project. I was in a group of 3 people and since majority rules we were to make a game. However they have never ever done any ui work ever. So I was in charge of coding the entire game. And since they did not know how to use git we had to use Google drive to transfer code. But ling sorry short I switched on them and got an A and they had to redo it on their own.
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People going crazy over the new Intel CPU exploit. I'm just sipping coffee looking at my AMD CPU that's never done me wrong 🙌15
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"rant"
client asks for something he says it has never been done before then insists in getting a deadline to finish it1 -
Too many people seem to think that "goto" in C is the worst thing you could do. It's an abomination, never use it! (Not something I've seen here per se, just generally around)
Challenge:
Break out of a loop inside a loop without using goto, and make it look pretty. Seriously, I don't think it can be done, and goto just makes it so clean!7 -
I've been given a huge stack of paper, some users stories and loose specs. Was tasked with engineering the specific requirements, then the models and finally the database. Then I need to build an API on top of that.
Stuff I'll use is Go and Postgresql. Small issue is, I've never done DBs, so I've no idea what to do or where to start.
Does anyone have any resources to help kick-start myself in this field? I've been reading on SQL, but that doesn't really tell me anything about data structures and how to transform those user stories into product requirements.6 -
SharePoint. Never used it directly but this far every project that the company has done with it results in us having to rewrite it using traditional technologies several months later.
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Just got done watching a 2 1/2 hours of Uncle Bob on programming. I really like his style of speaking. Great data and interesting viewpoints. Really easy to follow. I'd read some of his articles, but never listened to him before. Will definitely be watching more. For those of you in organizations using "agile" development and having a tough time of it, his talk called The Land that Scrum Forgot was really interesting.
And he really looks amazingly like my uncle, Tom, who's also been a programmer for decades! So I just think of him as Uncle Tom instead.1 -
!rant
Yesterday I have to do something I never thought I'd need to. A little background: I dislike PHP and MS SQL Server; however, they pay the bills.
So yesterday in order to get work done I had to install in my Linux machine a Windows 7 VirtualBox with SQL Server on it and had to compile the php mssql modules by hand and... everything worked flawlessly. It was pretty awesome.
Kudos to VirtualBox and the team behind the open source php mssql modules.4 -
I keep putting off coding because "there is never enough time" and "there are too many distractions."
Next thing you notice I don't get any coding done for the longest time... 😥 -
Getting an interview tomorrow with a pair programming test. I've never done pair programming (they know it), any tip?4
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Don't automatically count yourself out of positions because you haven't done them before, you can learn and grow.
I'm in the best job that I've ever had, but didn't meet all the criteria the vacancy had as "requirements". I had some experience in some of the areas that they were looking for, none in others, but they thought I was the right person for the job. I'll always be grateful for that.
At the same time, you need to be realistic, if you've never even heard of half the things on a job vacancy then it's probably not for you. -
Never done freelance but for those ranting this week this talk is a must watch "Fuck you, pay me":
https://creativemornings.com/talks/...
It's also entertaining regardless. So everyone else should watch it too! -
What do you guys do to pull yourself out of a rut when you hit a wall in a project?
I'm developing a large scale enterprise level application in flutter/dart by myself and reached a really weird point where there are so many things to be done I can't pick which one. I've spent the last few days on authentication and logic so I think I need to tackle something else for a bit... any insight would rule, I've never had other developers to talk to about this stuff before!4 -
Man, I enjoy the work I do and my boss is a great guy, but being rushed is never fun. And it's hard to say "it'll be done soon" if there's still some major features missing and the implementation is still unclear.
Can't a junior just take his time to make some decent code that won't end as spaghetti? I have enough PTSD of the first project I did here, which I still have to bugfix at least once a month 😂 -
My second client asked me to install a NAS. After listening to his request, I gave him a link to a Synology on Amazon and told him that once he receive the NAS, I will install it.
After one week, no news from him. So I called him and he has answered that he had some trouble with the delivery.
And today, I think I lost my second client and that he will never call me back...
What have I done wrong ?5 -
One of my colleagues from work:
- Looks through the code and finds a chunk of code that looks fishy (to her)
- Sais that she never understood why it was implemented that way
- Deletes the chunk of code
- Starts rewriting it
- Remembers why it was done that way
- Reverts it back and moves on to something else
Just why? It would have taken her 1 min to read the code ... -
Crying right now. Tldr, feature demanded, never used. 8 months ago, bosses demand two features. Disable sync of products they choose and set a reserve quantity on products they choose. Code is done and in production, but the only time that choice has ever run is in testing. With over 10,000 products, not one has ever had sync disabled, or a reserve quantity !=0. I need a new job.2
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I launched something and I checked it and checked it and checked it on mobile and desktop. Come to find out, it’s still wrong and it was out there live and broken. I’ve never done this before. I can’t even calm myself down enough to think of a solution because all I feel is impending doom. And it also doesn’t help that I’m running on 4 hours of sleep.
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I've just started freelancing on PeoplePerHour. I'm in talks to secure a job migrating a C# webapp to a desktop scenario using HTML5 embedded within WPF, but I've never done this as a solo project before. What sort of price is sensible to charge for this? I'm working in GBP1
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So many open tickets and they keep becoming more and more. In the end they will never be worked on, as there's always smth more important, although they are reprioritized on fixed schedules. They will eventually be discarded because they were forgotten and the ticket was already done, just by a ticket with similar naming or similar intent.
How would you solve this? Can this be solved?2 -
Am I weird or is working in bars awesome?!
I mean I can never get any serious work done, but if I'm just routing PCBs; no better place to work than noisy bar at half capacity.
P.S. : Wouldn't have thought it, but KiCAD is a hit with the ladies!
P.P.S. : Well, the kind of ladies I'd like to talk to.1 -
Recently joined a company (as a fresher), don't even know java spring but have been assigned user stories to be done in java spring batch. I know how to do my story normally in java but in batch it's like a nightmare.I am just unable to do it and today on my way back home,I started questioning if i am good at coding or not....Never felt so low about myself...
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Freelance web devs: where can I find some examples of industry standard pricing?
My partner has an opportunity to design a site for a newspaper she writes for, but has never done this before and doesn’t know what to quote...3 -
Feeling very optimistic today.
Set up in a quiet library with no other humans around. This is going to be a productive damn day!
Gonna learn to do some cool stuff I've never done before, and make some headway on some things I've been neglecting for a while.
Got a big thing of coffee, lunch squared away.
Feels like the world is at my fingertips.
(this has been a positive rant) -
What the holy fuck! Resharper is fucking dog shit! I've never used it before and just had to install for a new job. Visual studio was running great on my machine with 32GB ram and i7 processor. Installed resharper and it just doesn't work. How the fuck does anyone get any work done when it takes literally seconds to register a click! I get it's features are impressive but it means fuck all if it stops me working3
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Fuck all the motherfucking people who are interrupting me all the time!!!!
I'm trying to understand how a fucking backbone.js app works so I can make some changes that have to be delivered by Friday
I've never used backbone before as I'm mainly a php developer, and these fucking people are interrupting me every five minutes and I have to start all over again!!!
I'll never get any work done!!!
Fuck!!!1 -
Thinking about perhaps doing a Linux From Scratch. Never done anything like it but feels like it would be a good way to learn more about how Linux actually works. Do you think it's a good idea for someone like me with an ok understanding of Linux but only on a "user level", or should I start somewhere else?9
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What is your way of diagnosing a desktop/laptop?
An employee at work told me that her daughters laptop is acting strangely and she asked me, since I am into computer and I said sure. I said to her to tell her daughter what I am specifically looking for. I never really done this before.6 -
For the first time I work for an old and absolutely massive company. I have never seen systems so byzantine and so outdated ever before. With how the project management on top of it all has been going so far I'm really impressed that anything gets done at all.2
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Best part for me is when you see the final product. I do not mean once you're done working on the entire project (which is never true, always more to do! xD) but when you add a feature and it works.
Actually seeing it work, that gives me such a good, fulfilling feeling.
That has always been what attracted me to programming, or.. the main thing. -
Home automation
Lights turning on at the same time the wake up alarm goes off, blinds up and such
Centralized and shared calendar in the living room
And stuff that could bring me to jail (I've never done that and I'll never do it, I swear)
Maybe6 -
Everybody is bussy!
So let's going to give this mess to the one who never worked with mongo, does not know the objects in the DDBB, add to it some weird way to build queries in java to it and hope for everithing end well!
End well = need to be done today.
Guess what? Not for today! I have no clue of how to clean this shit.1 -
Gawds, creating personal portfolio sites must be the toughest task ever. I've never been great at answering 'what do you do for a living?' questions.
Writing paragraphs of self-praise and mostly fake positive self representations are beyond me. Got to get it done though, have new work to showcase. -
So I finally got full computer access 2 and a half weeks into working, and now there's "scheduled network downtime" with no indication of when it will be back up. I swear I'm never going to get anything done here
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Considering a contract to hire position. Do these usually result in full time employment? I've never done contract work.6
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Doing a language learning app, and doing other interesting managing apps. Totally free to do it my way, and get the job done. Except when my boss who can't even setup his email on his iPhone shows up, asking me to add features that would turn the app structure upside down, and also to deviate from programming to focus on content. The content of a language app, I mean, am I a language teacher now?
I was so excited to start this new project, but I'm stuck with useless chores that I know are useless and never see the daylight -
Everything I do these days tends to be under duress, and it never gets done properly. shit.fuck.twat.wank.bastards.
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PM, we are going to go to an agile methodology for working. (despite PM having never done agile, and most of the team having never done agile) But we will have 4 week sprints, as 2 week sprints are too short. We are going to have daily stand ups, oh but we'll only have then once a week... And we will keep the 3 hour mid week meeting. Oh and we'll keep our existing JIRA, but you also need to use *new* JIRA as well, but that's going to the customer so don't post bugs on it.... (all with a ln important delivery in a few months) The suggestion of getting an adviser (either internal or external) who has experience with agile to help us transition smoothly and provide best practice got shot down. feels like the blind leading the blind...2
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Why QA should never be left "in charge" of marking priorities on tasks before "demo day" deployment and client handover of a product.
New and refactored, key, features need to be deployed by "demo day", and most developers and the PM (not me) have already been re-allocated to new clients and projects. There's several things being done in paralell to get it done.
QA: We need to be able to download CSV files showing affected users if i do extremely rare action X, and this should pop up in the system for the first 24 hours after doing X.
Priority: High
New priority for feature Y: Medium
(Action X may never be used at all)
This is implemented, reviewed and deployed.
QA: I want a timestamp in the file naming, I'm experiencing duplicate files.
Priority: High
Feature Y: Medium
Develop, review and deploy timestamping for the CSV files.
QA: They are only marked with DD/MM/YYYY, I performed rare action X several times in one day, I can still get duplicate file names marked with numbers. This is #1 priority!
Priority: High
Feature Y: Medium
...Okay, this is nitpicking, this will never happen, but fine. Overtime to do the extra minor, minor adjustment, down to hours and minutes, get it reviewed and deployed at the end of the day.
QA: I managed to do rare action X 6 times in 1 minute, I have duplicate files. It needs to be down to seconds. This is top priority.
Priority: High
New priority for feature Y: Low
.........
Constant interruptions, moronic priorities and voicecalls throughout the entire day.
Dear QA, you can be fucking donkeys at times.4 -
I don't know if many rememeber me but at one point this year I had to turn UDP basically into tcp, handshake, packet ordering, resend on failed, ACK response, and 4k bit aes encryption. Fucking done, it works, signed the last version and pushed to client, client loved it, just what he wanted, paid out contract then turned around and asked me to setup his server for one day with no further expectations and an extra 250, said sure don't mind, as I am setting shit up I decided to test if his business isp really blocks tcp, guess what? NOPE IT WORKS JUSY FUXKIJG FINE AND I COILD HAVE KUST RIPPED A PREMADE CORE AND GOT PAID AND SET IT UP AND HE WOULD NEVER know, but maybe theirs some weird circumstances that require the core to be made only with udp, so after I was done I asked why only udp if his line allowed tcp? Requirements maybe? NOPE HE JUST DOSENT UNDERSTAND TCP FUUUUUUUQQQQHDJDIOAJEJDICJDNXIKZMZJDJCU2
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I have a software developer interview tomorrow. Never really done a professional one as I've not yet graduated but I'm just looking for tips and some guidance on what I should prepare for and what questions to expect. Also advice on how I should handle myself and what sort of stuff to talk about. Thanks!2
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to present an TPS ASP.NET site with target features/objectives for our finals in prog subj
working time: 1 night
and i tell you right now, it's the most shittiest site (front end && back end) i have ever done, and i'm never going back. 1/4 only of our class actually accomplished the target features. -
I have wanted to be a web designer, studied multimedia design, and have always done some code of my own because I couldn't pay anyone to code my projects. After finishing my degree I was a unemployed and couldn't even get an internship. One day a friend asked me to code a project for his agency because he couldn't find anyone on such short notice. I did it in a weekend and got some good money for it. That's when I realised there was a chance I could be a dev instead of a designer. Started to learn more, moved to London, and never even wished I went back to design.2
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I use documentation to develop a connection to a feature (connection that was said to be done, but whatever.)
There is an example in the documentation of implementation.
But that example is, like I like to say, bullshit-esque.
In the implementation, the code doesn't work, and there is another way of implenting that connection. But the thing is, it uses a variable that was never declared in the example, neither in the full page. They just made it pop-up from nowhere like a deus ex machina.
Gimme a table so I can flip it.3 -
I have no idea how but its taken me years of wanting to make apps to discover phonegap?! My days of fumbling around in the bloated piece of trash that is android studio and never getting anything done are no more! WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME ABOUT THIS7
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Worst part (at least that's on my mind today)? People who don't build the app giving the orders of what needs to be done in it. They never know how possible things are, or expect them in half the time it actually takes.
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I have always had the fantasy to build a function in my developments that upon start would check if my user still is enabled in the Active Directory, and if not then shut down the application. Never done it... yet.
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Peace and quiet.
I'll play some smooth jazz or light classical, sit in my beanbag chair by the window, and take a 30 minute nap.
When I'm done, either the problem isn't a problem anymore or I have figured out a solution to my problem in my sleep.
This is something pretty new to me since wfh started and is one of the many of reasons why I will never go back.4 -
I have done a fucking awful thing and its that I started a project and I'm using Flask and SQLAlchemy but the part I'm stuck on is something Ive never done in regular SQL, so I cant even communicate what I want to do properly.
Time to binge some SQL real quick. -
Took me way too long to realise what the (annoyingly simple) solution to the problem I was having was.
This is the problem with derailed projects that just feels never ending, you get stupid after a while.
God I hope I can finish this shit up this weekend. I'm so done with this project. -
I'm an idiot, almost
I needed a tablet for uni but I also wanted it to be quite powerful and with an OS I could actually get things done with (this precluded android and iOS)
I also am quite pricacy concerned but I never did much to prevent it
I ended up buying a surface pro, for its weight and power
joined with a mac at home and a google nexus in my hands... my privacy is fucked :)1 -
Haven't done much work on my game since December. Ok so I havent done anything on my game since December. Learned Mockito and JUnit formally (finally) because that's what we'll be using at work.
Never really learnt unit testing prior, just knew it's power. I just need to find the right unit testing and mocking frameworks that work well with .net, C# and Unity3D and I'll be great.
I'll finally attempt to properly test that (those) annoying part(s) of my game. So many vectors to work out and often the object is moved to or along the wrong vector.
I'd always only imagined having to use stubs which is why I've never understood how unit testing would really help in such a dynamic environment as video game development. Especially as a one man team. Mocking is about to be my lifesaver.
Anyone able to suggest a good testing and/or mocking framework for C#, .Net, Unity3D? -
Anyone here do much nativescript? I have never done any mobile dev but know angular quite well.
I'm trying to decide if it's worth jumping right into nativescript or taking my time to learn standard java and swift dev first to understand the underlying code... Then there's xamarin. Any advice?8 -
Has anyone ever figured out why the fuck Android reboots seemingly out of nowhere at random times?
Is it kernel panics? Is it some shitty bug that has been plaguing this cursed OS since its inception? [sidenote: boy that was a mouthful of 's'es]
Or are we already at the mercy of the Big Brother, and someone at the controls likes to play random pranks on us when they're bored?
Thinking of switching to LineageOS more and more, but I'm kinda worried about resetting my phone since I've never done full backups/restores and I have no experience in the matter...7 -
Day 1 . Change of my PC from laptop to PC. All ok
Day 2 . My work place chief says me they order me a new SSD... Damn I've just done the installation of ARCH.
Day 3 . I reinstall ARCH on the SSD drive leaving the old HD as home partition..
Last day a collegue says me to leave the home partition on SSD and linking the permanent forlders on the old HD...
Never ending story... -
I read. Alot. When I'm going to do something simple, even if I've done it before I google a bit on "how to do x" and see if there are better ways to do it. And I follow the rabbit hole a bit to see where it goes.
Example, I just learned about the unix command mktemp. I wasn't googling about making temporary files, but it was part of a solution to a different problem. Ive discussed how to make temporary files with colleagues before, and this builtin unix command has never come up. So many minutes wasted coming up with random filenames. -
I just started out as a frontend developer | UX Designer at my company and my CEO calls me the "UX guy" but I've never done any UX work! No interaction with users, no planning out a UI by considering their true need, I just design and develop the necessary pages and add functionality based on what my CEO tells me. That's it, I'm removing UX from my designation from now on, as I don't have any experience in that field even though my experience tells otherwise.7
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!rant
After delaying it for a few months, i'm finally starting to work on my final college project. It's going to be done in Java and Mongo. I'm not sure about the web part of the project, because i've never done anything in that part besides basic html and css. I'll probably try JavaScript.
Just wanted to share this because i've made the hardest step - actually started working on it.
Kinda feeling proud of myself.
Kinda feeling weird of being proud of such a thing.
Don't wish me luck, wish me the will to keep not giving up when it's the hardest -
One of those "you have got to be kidding me moments":
struct Speaker: UnitNode, MemBufferBase {
typedef UnitNode super;
…
}
And then elsewhere:
#define Node UnitNode
#define Speaker AudioSpeaker
Never seen anyone typedef base class as super in C++ nor use a #defined variable as a class name. And of course elsewhere in the code class names are normal literal a but are referenced via a #define (and sometimes not via the #define)... The same obfustication done two different ways! -
Sooooo....worked at a place (which i think was my first rant on here lol) a little while back where, to keep a long story short, was treated like shit and still managed to pull out some magic for them before i left my contract (cos work pride).
Come to new company, it is a consultancy company. The project I worked on at the previous company, they had came (while i was there, i went to the meeting) and done some requirements analysis for them (that weren't even relevant, mostly because the CIO was a tard).
Come to find out today, through the grapevine, that these lot have been claiming that they done more than requirements and actually implemented the full solution and even wrote a case study about the shit they weren't involved in. "Oh look at this GDPR project we completed for this £400M turnover company and all the problems we solved".
More hurtful cos this project I done with no help from anyone, got moaned at every day, got my references threatened, wouldn't let me work from home but anyone else could. Serious, a lesser man would have punched the CIO....repeatedly.
What would you do? I'm getting sick of fighting in every job but also getting sick of never getting any credit for the shit I've done. -
Today, or wednesday (can't do anything tomorrow, family is coming over) I'm going to start writing documentation for my project.
Problem: Never wrote documentation before.
I only have the database done (still need to write the migrations and seed, but the structure is done). How do I even write documentation for a bunch of tables? I guess I'll learn that this week.
Wish me luck, I'll need it!! -
Boss: I want you to create a document management application
Me: that would be take a lot of time and it is better if you use an already created app for that
Boss: why?
Me: because my partner and I have never done one before and we are just a beginners
Boss: shouldn't be a problem...
Both of us: (really?)
*call ends*6 -
$estimationTime = Experience::get($work)->timeSpent() || "Sorry, can't tell, will do as fast as I can";2
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If you are in the US how are you preparing for the next pending recession?
I am thinking about staying at my low paying but stable job where they have never done massive layoffs because they are not publically traded.
Anyone else?3 -
Why do some hosting services with MySQL not allow triggers and stored procedures / functions?
Had never tried to use them and now I've done it and deployed a site, I discover I can't create triggers, and that some hosting provider don't allow users to do them... this is a rant but more of a question, as I didn't know and maybe there's lore to it you do know...1 -
When you finally get to sign a project off as finished, after the client has changed the goal posts 50+ times.
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Reunions!
I'm a research fellow, so I have 2 teachers that are orientors.
We never have good reunions. They asks me every week to send a report of work done, but they never give me feedback. I ask what I can do next, sometimes they answer, sometimes they don't. So, some weeks I don't know what to do.
Almost everytime, they go to my room with somebody and ask to show the application. And with that,I need to interrupt my workflow, change one boolean variable (because we have a machine learning that is very slow, I have a if to throw the result I pre-calculated). After all this trouble, I need to speak (as he asked), but he starts interrupt while I'm speaking. -
Anybody here involved with SIMS online services for schools (UK) I think it’s done by Capita. Because it is the biggest pile of shite I have seen (as a parent from UX UI perspective). I would gladly visit your establishment with an axe and ensure you would never do anything so bad again.5
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I usually try to break down what they are asking for into smaller parts. The tricky part is scoping them without granular details of how it will actually get done and thinking only about complexity. Then add up time and give the total a bucket size. 1-5 hrs 6-15, 16-30, 30+ etc. Turn around time is another matter but that's never predictable. By the time clients approve the quote availability is totally different.
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Does anyone work at IBM? I saw open Front end engineer position in my country and I was wondering what the interviewing process might be. Does it involve leetcode exercises (never done those and I’m afraid they might give those to me)?3
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Well...I can not post it here because I threatened him that I would post his non payment bullshit all over the internet and he would never get anything done by a freelancer again.
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I know Python but never done web-development and needed it for one or two project. The requirement is some data-api and graph. There is flask and django but I'm not sure how should I proceed. ????11
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What are some interesting open source projects to contribute to? I wanna start to do some contributions to popular OS projects but I've never done that before so... Any recommendations?3
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How would I create user-profiles and user logins for my ReactJS app and Heroku? I've never done it before and not sure if ExpressJS is enough or even how to approach it.5
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That feeling when you are on call and a report comes in of a feature not working correctly for a system you know nothing about. Sure, I’ll dig in a bit and troubleshoot before throwing over the fence. Hmm, feature was never coded - not in a shelve-set or branch…just never done. Was supposed to be done over a year ago I’m told. Humanity is too sick to survive.1
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I've recently been promoted and I'm going from hourly to salaried. Amidst this crisis and the promotion I've gotten lost in the big changes and forgot to ask the simple questions.
When tf do I leave work if I'm not tracking my hours anymore? (Or for the near future, log off of work)
I know the general consensus is "when the work is done", but we all know the work is never truly done5 -
I need a method where I can communicate between an unmanaged c++ application and a c# one. I've never done this before or worked with c# before and can't find an explanation I can understand. I'm still a student so bare with my limited knowledge 😅1
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Should I just give up? I keep trying to learn Android and can never seem to memorize anything. Like how to do a recyclerview. I know that it needs a adapter a view holder. Yet I always have to look up how's it's done. Either though docs or from other projects. Is that common? Or should I give up since I can't seem to remember how to do it.5
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Hey there, I've never really done anything like this but I'm in the second year of college.
I really want to go into the security area, not completely sure but pretty inclined to pentesting.
The question is, what, in your opinion, do you think is a good starting point so I'm pretty much ready to start working when I finish my 5 year course? My college doesn't have any or many security classes, so I'll have to do it all by myself.
Right now I know java, C and html, css and Javascript, which I'm learning by myself.5 -
I had mistakenly added a large file to a commit, and I'm now spending 3 hours of my life just to remove it and being able to push.
I've deleted the file from tracking, but it remained in history so when I try to push, github rejects to continue.
And, still worse, trying various solutions on StackOverflow I've done a mess on the history which now looks unrelated to the remote one, and I think it's a never-end catastrophe.
It's absurd how badly designed is git, and how hard it is to use besides the 3 commands that you learnt by heart16 -
Fuck! This shit is driving me crazy! I'm working day and night without any break just because my boss wants everything done yesterday. And even if I complete the project, there's always something more to do. It feels like I'm stuck in a hamster wheel that never stops spinning. Fuck this fucking fucked up situation! I need some goddamn sleep!3
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Quick poll for .Net people. JetBrains ReSharper is:
A. Vital for getting anything done.
B. The work of Satan. Avoid at all costs.
C. Used to be (A) but VS2015 makes it redundant.
D. I've never used it.
E. I have used it, but I have no strong opinion about it one way or the other.
(If you say E, you're far too placid to be a programmer and you should practice getting more irate about other people's software choices ;)1 -
OKAY GUYS I NEED YOU. I have an idea for an app (bet you’ve heard that before haha) and I really want to make it.
I have to learn swift, so online tutorials are my go to (pls recommend material).
However, I’ve never really done backend before, and I’ll need it to make my project (accounts & stuff). Where do I start for swift/iOS backend programming? Do I need to buy a server? Where do I host the stuff?
Pls help8 -
I am particularly guilty of this, embedding non-constructive comments, code poetry and little jokes into most of my projects (although I usually have enough sense to remove anything directly offensive before releasing the code). Here's one I'm particulary fond of, placed far, far down a poorly-designed 'God Object':
/**
* For the brave souls who get this far: You are the chosen ones,
* the valiant knights of programming who toil away, without rest,
* fixing our most awful code. To you, true saviors, kings of men,
* I say this: never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down,
* never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry,
* never gonna say goodbye. Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.
*/
I'M SORRY!!!! I just couldn't help myself.....!
And another, which I'll admit I haven't actually released into the wild, even though I am very tempted to do so in one of my less intuitive classes:
//
// Dear maintainer:
//
// Once you are done trying to 'optimize' this routine,
// and have realized what a terrible mistake that was,
// please increment the following counter as a warning
// to the next guy:
//
// total_hours_wasted_here = 42
//1 -
What's the general process and toolset for reverse engineering a C++ DLL? I've never done this, but I may get a gig and I'm not about to reject it just because I don't know how to do the work.7
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!rant
Never done a "full-fledged" Android app, but I had to, for school.
It works (by now), now I can sleep3 -
Blog: Never ever try to turn a rushed demo build into a live product.
https://likelikeatemyshield.com/pos... -
I wish I didn’t have the ability to feel emotions - being completely emotionally blunted… no feelings except only the mechanism for getting things done that I need to get done. I wish I could just switch them off forever… I would never need anyone. It sounds really nice. People upset me10
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how do you implement rtl support in website? never done that before.
-webkit-transform: rotateY(130deg); /* Safari prior 9.0 */
transform: rotateY(130deg); /* Standard syntax */
Is it enough? to apply the above for the body would do the trick? and flip back all the texts. works?7 -
I really like that SO have that documentation section. It's teaching me things about writing documentation that Lord knows University will never teach me. It's great to see how things are done in the industry compared to the ancient practices we're taught.1
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I have a backend in .net web API and myssql. I want to host this on godaddy, I uploaded the files but now I am getting a 500 Internal server error.
I have never used .net please help me if you have done this before.
🙏🙏🙏5 -
What would be the best way to basically make a "visual poll" that takes clicks from users and calculates a "final score" for a website.
I've never really done something like this before...4 -
Today I submitted to code review the first iteration of a microservice done with Ramda and flow by request of my collegues. This is the first time they look at anything similar to functional code or typed js, and only one of them took the time to actually do a review.
I really like having my code reviewed and reviewing others', but please don't pester me to make a PR for a microservice you'll never look only to bail off as soon as you see something new that scares you. Buckle up and learn new stuff! -
And just another day finished. A whole day full of how fuck does this works! After all I could complete the project. Commit, push, story done. Never looking back. But I learned something today: think easier...