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Me: "I'm a programmer"
Others: talks about linux
Others: search algorithms!
Others: service infrastructure
Others: memory optimization
Others: encryption
Me: "I'm a front end web developer"
Others: complex services
Others: strong user form validation
Others: lazy loading
Others: SEO
Me: "fucking, I make shit look pretty alright"11 -
It's hard to use Google Voice when you're a bilingual.
Me *driving in car*: Ok Google, open Spotify..
Google *beep*: Không chắc chắn làm thế nào để Open Spotify (Not sure how to to "Open Spotify" - in Vietnamese)
Me: Ok Google, mở Spotify (same command in Vietnamese)
Google *beep*: Not sure how to "mở Spotify"...
Me *frustrated*: Ok Google, f*ck you!
Google *beep*: Không chắc chắn làm thể nào để "fuck you" (Not sure how to "fuck you" - in Vietnamese)
f*cking Google Voice :|7 -
So I just booted up my laptop.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
I agreed to all of it.
And continued my day.
Have a nice day everyone.
P.S no I'm not talking about emails11 -
I just saw a job post for a
"Sr. Software engineer intern".
Can someone explain. What in the world8 -
Today I told my lead developer that I liked star wars episode 8.
I got grilled pretty hard.
Like, I can drop a db and the motherfucker ain't gon give a fuck. But God forbid a mofocka likes episode 8.
That is a big no no to him.
Manager had told me that I should keep that opinion of the movie to myself.
Lesson learned.13 -
Four meetings today.
Legal was not involved in legal agreement changes until I refused to make them without Legal signing off. Legal changed several things, leading to:
Project scope changed size from large to minuscule to small to medium.
Details changed at every step.
Despite being incredibly structured and process-heavy, people at this company are so disorganized. 😕4 -
A friend found this Microsoft link a few weeks ago. The background image is missing because it's been removed from imgur and it's still broken to date 🤔
https://microsoft.com/upgradecenter...
10 -
I had a weird dream last night where people communicated by using log statements.
Like if I wanted to say something very loud I'd think Log.wtf("WTF!") and it would appear in front of me like subtitles. Log levels were equivalent to tone level.
The scene was basically a bunch of people with log statements of various levels in front of them and their lips moving with no sound.
I think I need a vacation.2 -
When you need stress ball but dont have enought ++ to request one then you need to order one cheap from ebay because i really need it when code isnt working, teacher fuck something up (again) and lot of stuff gets fucked up 😭😭😭
6 -
Today the lead developer and I where loling and wtfing hard to the following code:
if ($looked_column == true)
{
$trunca = 1;
}
else
{
$trunca = 1;
}
Mind you, we had no clue why he named the variable $trunca, and even then it had been set at the top of the file as 1 to begin with....was never used up to this line and $looked_column had also a set to true.
This is why a lot of people give php a bad reputation. This right here is why people make fun of php......15 -
you guys complaining about doing PHP and WP because you needed money sounds like confessing about doing porn in college
"Sorry mom, but I really needed the money ..."1 -
Hey guys and ladys. I've got another little rant about my teacher.
As some of you may know, i finished my final exams last week, so basically every relevant grade is done. Every teacher except of my special snowflake programming teacher spends the lessons casually talking with us (some even say we dont need to show up anymore).
Little backstory: Grades need to be done on 18th, June and i get my certificate on 22nd.
Back to my rant. Special Snowflake is different. He wants ANOTHER project. This is totally his idea and is nowhere mentioned in our curriculum. It has to be done until next friday, it has to be C# and we need a detailed documentation. This wouldn't be a problem normally - if I wouldn't be moving at the moment. Special Snowflake knows this but doesn't care.
Except from the criteria above he wants it to be:
- fancy
- loved by everyone. Literally we need to make something EVERYBODY wants in their daily life
- good looking
- everyone should want to pay money for this
How am I supposed to come up with an idea and program the shit out of it in less than 2 weeks, which i need to paint my new office and pack some more stuff.3 -
I don't want to come off as a linux-elitist but it's simply amazing how much easier my job is on linux. A good example recently was setting up some libraries for a C++ program I was writing to show to my class. Most of them were using Windows and visual studio, took about 15 minutes to download all the headers and libs, and show them how to configure a VS solution to link them. Not too big a deal but on linux, it only took about 30 seconds to pacman and gcc -l the lib. Little things like that keep me interested in linux as a dev tool.14
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I am watching a video from Google I/O when they said "Ok Google", and my phone turned on (though saying "Your voice was not recognized")2
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I'm curious, is email campaigns such as 'constant contact' part of a devs job? new job wants me to be in charge of this and I could not think of a worse job I would like to do.
I don't even check my own email!
I hate social media and suck at posting anything besides random useless memes.
REALLY??! Email campaign????19 -
Friend gave me his cheap few dollars wifi adapter.
Took it connected to PC. And tried monitor mode. Ofcourse it isnt gonna work. Yup not working.
OK lets search for better driver for this thing. Hmmmmmm
Compiling error. Well thats what i get for getting the latest kernel. Well incompatible pointer type.
Nah fuck that.
-Wno-incompatible-pointer-type Boooom build.
Installed.
Loaded.
Can connect to network (Amazing i know. Who would say that wifi can connect to wifi AP LOOOOL)
And monitor mode works too.
Packet injection works too.
Good stuff.
And best part is that i had an old router with looooong antena on it and it wasnt working since i fried the CPU on that one. (I posted rant about that. USB mod didnt go as planed when somebody scares you when you are soldering)
So i took the antena and well now i have Wifi adapter with monitor working that can get wifi from next fucking street and maybe even the next street after that one since aluminium pointer is good.
And yes ofcourse the pull request is already sent in the second i fixed it.3 -
family: oh cmon, how hard it can be
me: what do you mean
family: youre just sitting in front of that pc all day
me: yeah, thats how we ...
family: youre not working! youre sitting in one place the whole day2 -
fren: do you have a date this valentines?
me: nah fam
fren: what u doin rn
me: [Insert technical explanation of Kubernetes here]
fren: [goes offline]2 -
You give up romancing for some time because you're tired of getting mixed signals all the time. Decide to focus on programming instead and then shit like this happens:
4 -
Just to be clear - this is not a rant!
Seeing as I have a useless domain, as far as public access is concerned,m, I’ve thrown up a design to make use of it.
This is a feedback session, so I’m really just looking for any takers who want to give any advice, ideas, ect on this.
https://c0d4-playground.ga9 -
Tried mx 17 linux today. Was completely blown away by how fucking good the system is. I am really tempted to nuke my windows installation in one of my computers and just run this baby from it. Nothing is really holding me back from it. I already have two other macs and another ubuntu laptop. Can think of a reason why i would need windows at this time but i am still hesitant.
Plus...i am taking on a big rails project.....might be good to have this thing set up for it as are the other two macs. Mmmmmhmm decissions decissions.
What do y'all think? Yes or nah?5 -
ummm okay?
Can't blame them really. Most of the people are too stupid to understand that they have to press okay to proceed.
5 -
Recently did a fresh installation of brothers laptop of windows 10 and found this gem at after installing chrome and running it for the first time
chrome://welcome-win10/
suck it micro$oft
1 -
Arguing with my girlfriend (recalled from my mind, not 100% accurate)
she: What do you expect when you buy an android?
Me: sure thing apple is more "unpack it, use it", easy to use - but android is more like an empty canvas. The first thing when I buy it is setting it up to my needs.
she: You don't understand, what do you expect from your android device?
me: It has to be affordable and work for a certain time
she: No I mean, do you.. when you unpack your phone, expect it TO WORK?
me: Sure, it's not like I buy a pile of trash, I expect it to work
she: you're too stupid, baka
me: ... ? *confused*
she: When you say it is like a canvas, isn't a canvas someday full?
me: yes, every phone, iPhone, Pixel, Samsung, every phone has a limited memory
she: *mad* you don't get it, silly
me: I want to but heh, I don't get it10 -
Me: OK, Google.
Google: Hi, how can I help?
Me: Open example.com
Google: OK, which browser?
Me: Google Chrome.
Google: Sorry, I didn't get you.
Me: Google Chrome.
Google: Sorry, I didn't get you again. Just say the name of the app.
Me: *Looks at the list and finds Chrome (without 'Google')* Chrome
Google: *Opens Chrome*
I couldn't reproduce it as the. Latest version of Google Assistant now opens the page in a WebView.
7 -
Joins Skype group dev talk
20mins in mutes microphone
Co worker mentions something I am working on
Me: starts talking for a minute
Coworker: randomly interrupts me, like legit no warning, he just started talking....
Me: wait what da faq
OH wait I'm not mute....
Shit -
>laptop can't handle 3 terminals because cpu is single-core 1.2GHz
>fuck it
stress -c 128 -i 128 -m 16
>second terminal
top
>load average: 272.15, 247.60, 149.80
>CPU is cool after 30 minutes
>how
>picks up laptop from right side
>burned myself
>cpu is on the left under power button, right side has nothing that would get hot???
>takes apart laptop
>second large CPU-like die
wtf.386
>looks up laptop
>floating point/algebraic coprocessor
WHAT
and that was the story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down
what fucking system has a coprocessor after 2002? (My laptop is a 2008 HP something or other)4 -
Some time ago I was working in a freelance gig. I was the backend developer and the front end guy and I had some differences in our postman collections, so I asked him to email me his exported json collection.
When he emailed me, it was really funny to see his signature, which included all the courses he had and his degrees and whatnot.
like dude, "I didn't wanted your CV, I just wanted the collection"
PS: I hope you get the idea from the image, even if it is in spanish
9 -
hello +1000 club! got my +1000 shoes, my +1000 desk and my +1000 sungluses now all I am missing is a vader helmet..2
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Every website we craft at work has some email substitution logic so that addresses you see on the site don't actually exist in the HTML source like that (you wouldn't find them in a format like "foo@example.com").
Instead the @ and the period right before the TLD get replaced with something else (to prevent (dumb) spam bots from using that address and blast it with junk).
Some people replaced them with images in the past (ew), replaced the @ with "(at)" or other stuff.
I made it a habit to render the @ and . by replacing them with span tags which then get a ::before in CSS that contains "content: '@';", so that the @ is visible but is not actually inside the HTML source code.
The classes for these spans then have a random name (persistent for that website though). The first one was called "move-along-nothing-to-see-here", but then I started naming them after Star Wars quotes.
One website's @ class is called "that-s-no-moon" (Obi Wan), others are called "i-have-a-bad-feeling-about-this" (Han Solo), "powerful-you-have-become-the-dark-side-I-sense-in-you." (Yoda) and "these-are-not-the-droids-you-are-looking-for" (Obi Wan).12 -
About to give my first presentation on web development! Wish me luck, I've never felt more out of my league, even though I've been a dev for years.5
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I don't wanna ask (insert search engine of your choice) but devRant today:
How would you define a
- nerd
- geek
etc
Is it an insult or status to be proud of?12 -
Only at work can I come back from the breakroom full of cookies and snacks for mymanager to promptly give me a pass to Golds Gym :V she is telling me that I is fat I guess :V
;_____; i am not fat, just eat like a fatboi -
I'm tempted at some point to get a non-dev job. After about 2 weeks I could automate everything then just slack off.5
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Hm... Not a big follower on this issue but just a thought... at 3am...
master/slave: not ok
god/mortals: ok
parent/child: ok13 -
imagine how much more intricate https would be without rsa, leaving us with just aes. i mean, youd have to have servers responding with isps, info is easily tracked.
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I was hired as a wpf dev for a large scale project and I was told that the backend is perfectly complete and that I am able to work right away, then after I started working, I noticed that every request I sent was returning a 500 internal error, I thought it was a problem on my end, but later I found out that they didn't even implement the api yet, it was just a "reference" for devs, which basically means that I should work and give them a perfectly functional app without testing anything at all.1
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Install linux they said.
Ok, granted. I still want to dual boot with my win10. So ok, mint live usb, boot, begin install, freezes mid way.
Ok, try++5 -
Generator functions should be treated like sorting algorithms: Not worth your time if all you have is 4 or less async instructions.
Callback hell is actually kind of nice and warm when you're a just a few levels down. If you're really confused by your obfuscated code, you suck at node. -
Whoot, humble bundle has some new competition for their ebook offerings.
https://www.fanatical.com/en/ebooks
3 -
Is it OK to bludgeon the noisy, moaning, constantly negative 'devs' sitting opposite (and who deliver nothing) with my chair?4
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Started work in the morning, after a couple of hours was 90% done and would be clicking the checkbox on trello that task is completed.
Lol.
Found a bug.
OK, debugging time.
Spend an hour on trying to fix the simplest bug ever,( php was creating a file that had the contents but the wrong name)
At this point I was starting to get super pissed of cuz in 30min I need to go meet up with some friends.
LOL ok, fuck this shit, I don't want to do this anymore.
Made the bug into a feature that now you can have multiple authority(admin) accounts.
My teamm8 was like lol ok, we didint really need this but it will be useful so nice job.
👏GREAT MORNING:))))1 -
So this stupid fuck whose react code is a clusterfuck of bugs just bashed me when I said Java is better then node because of reasons...
I was literally speechless while thinking if I should humiliate her or not.
Guess life will show her because I don't give a fuck. -
I found out why my local server kept going offline.
Due to living constraints, it has to be connected to the network via wifi. The cable connecting the wifi card to the computer appears not to work when bent in a specific direction...
Why can't cables that come with things be of good quality?2 -
Hands on experience is the best. Lemme tell ya.
So recently a friend has been bugging (in a good way) me about getting to one of my projects. So, about a week and a half ago I finally got along to starting. I tried using existing FOS projects to mold together as my own, but that didn’t work. So I made it from scratch. At first it was frustrating because I didn’t know PHP, but now I think I got the gist of it.
Almost a week and a half now and quite the progress has been made, at least to what I had expected... now I’m addicted to coding. I hate food. And people. I love my code, no matter how terrible it is.1 -
me: clicks button run
program starts throwing out fatal errors
me: shhhhhhhh, whats wrong, whos hurting you?:'(
i sed the shhhhh part out loud, not even realizing it🤦♂️2 -
I now leave my work IM status as "Away". It's the only way people leave me alone so I can get work done...*shrug* ☺1
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NO! Use the description instead of the primary key because the key might change ................................................................................................................... vs the description .............................................................................................................. the key more likely .............................................. meh2
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I started this one project as hobby, later on becomes we and we search for client. He assisted upto 30% only ui design. Now I am working 18,19 hours just to complete 2 project simultaneously. horrible experience taught me make sure you make written agreement before working as pair or partner
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I dont understand why people talk so much crap about python. How it "pseudocode".. yea its a" joke" i get it. But if whoever is making said joke dont even know what pythonic programming is , nor practice it. Then said person dont really know how to code in python.. its more like modified c++ and they cant talk crap.
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So in Seahorse (the Gnome secret manager) deleting the OpenSSH key doesn't just remove an identity from agent, it actually deletes the keyfile.
I should've treated that scary confirmation message more seriously.
Also, my obsessive full disk backups every Monday are totally worth the time.2 -
Glad to know I'm not the only one making such mistakes.
Edit: says: "Say "null" or tap on the microphone "
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Anyone noticed that SitePoint is permanently "on sale", with discounts and stuff since they launched their premium programme 1 or 2 years prior?
When one sale ends, another one comes.
Plus now they hid away the subcategories, one must access them by knowing the subcategorie's URL haha
I have no understanding of this reasoning they have...1
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