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Project manager logic, explained with babies.
9 women can have 9 babies in 9 month. We only need one baby.
Deadline is one month!12 -
Me, doing QA
PM: "stop submitting bug reports about screen size, we're only supporting one resolution for now"
Me: *What do you mean you're only supporting one resolution it's a website and it breaks on screens <1400 px tall*
*Sigh*
"okay, what resolution?"
PM: "No one knows"
Me: *dies*2 -
There is only one reason to pause coding: a girlfriend. But since I don't have one I need more Coffee I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.4
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Ahhhhhhhhhhh I live for that moment when after debugging, you can finally close all those tabs one by one until the only one left is devrant.io 😎
11 -
For one small project my boss planned in about 60 hours.
Crazy that it only took me 5.5 hours. 😄
Such an extreme happened only once.4 -
After years of struggle with nvidia on Linux across several devices I built my first AMD only PC and I have only one thing in my mind...
5 -
I code, watch Big Bang Theory, sip coffee, and code again. I never leave the doorsteps except for my classes. Some say my life is sad.
Is it? Anyone out there like this?18 -
Am I the only one who sees a post that begins with "Am I the only one..." and automatically downvotes?
You are not a special snowflake, there are millions just like you, live with it.5 -
Your code has so much spaghetti, there's vomit on my sweater already.
(reposted as a rant cos @yatanvesh said so)4 -
!rant OMG GOOD NEWS!!!!!!!! I only have tendinitis in my elbow causing pain in my hand, not carpal tunnel or arthritis 😄10
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When I realized that my rant on wk60 had only one ++ and that one was by @dfox, I was glad that I'm not alone 😀2
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"Make us a one-page website for our new company!"
I build the site, to their exact specifications and show it to them
"There's only one page"
"You only asked for one page."
"No, we didn't"
I show them the email they sent me, asking for a one-page site
"Wow, you suck, we are finding another developer!"5 -
Am I the only one who, when working with dynamically typed languages, never uses dynamic features? Like, I never change a variable type, and make sure functions will only return one data type?
I just think dynamic types leads to so many bugs6 -
I wonder if I'm getting tired of making websites for people. I just "fired" two longtime clients today without really caring all that much. Not for no reason. They just were asking too much for too little. And I was getting bored of them. When I think about what I want to do in my spare time, the first thing I think about is creative writing. The last thing I think about is code and website design. It didn't used to be this way.3
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"People are very attached to the idea that there’s one right way, one right tool, or one right framework. If only."
-- John Arundel3 -
Am I the only one who finds the only one who finds this hypnotizing and amazing? It's like looking within a city and your code manipulates all the pathways. #IoT
4 -
Am I the only one happy that no-one can post images anymore? Kinda refreshing that all the crappy memes are gone 😂6
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Left one company on Friday, starting a new one Monday. This means the only programming I'm doing this weekend are the fun personal ones!
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When your internal timezone automatically changes over the weekend and you have to get it back to "normal" but then somehow end up not sleeping at all 😅😐😑😪2
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Am I the only one who works at a company where the developers are the only ones who understand the product that the company is selling?4
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God damn I had a nice dream last night... Linux had a 100% OS market share.. and there was only one package manager and only one build system.. There was no such thing as cross platform, because there was only one platform. Everything was so easy.
Then I woke up. Fuck.4 -
“We're going to code in one IDE, one IDE only”
Motivation so low my boss wanna fire me
* cue N****s in Paris *10 -
!rant
Dev walked out of the bathroom stall (I can only assume it was the #2), only washed one hand.
One hand under the auto-soap dispenser, then kinda rinsed the soap off. The other hand never got involved.
That seems weird to me.3 -
I just found out google web dev tools let you copy a request as curl command!
Time to scrape some websites baby!8 -
Am I the only one who feels motivated to be the best programmer I can be, only when I'm about to sleep? :/2
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Am I the only one, who craves for a little praise? Just one little "good job" now and then would make wonders.5
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I just realized that out of the eleven 2.4 GHz WiFi networks in my vicinity, seven operate on Channel 1, two on Ch.6 and mine is the only one on Ch.13.
I am also the only one with 5Ghz WiFi.9 -
Am I the only one to see the contradiction between the first point and the last one 🤔?
(Job post from Quartal Financial Solutions)
11 -
There are 3 incorrectly labeled fruit baskets (all 3 are incorrectly labeled). One basket has only ORANGES, another one has only APPLES, and the other has mixed ORANGES-APPLES. You can't see anything. You can only pull out 1 fruit from 1 of those baskets. With that, move each label to it's corresponding basket.2
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I'm glad that, now that I'm not the only woman in my team, I'm not the only one who thinks Some Guy is an asshat3
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I'm surprised that nearly no one here in the company listens to music while working. Am I the only one who does this!?!4
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I finished a bunch of coursework yesterday and turned them in so that I could have some time to work on my side projects or self study for a few days before focusing on class again.
Today was gonna be my first day to enjoy this.
I recieve an email with the second batch of coursework thats due in a week. 7 quizzes, two exams, and 7 project labs.
Yeah, fuck you, too.2 -
Am I the only one who cringes hard whenever I see people talking about VPNs, when they only really use them as glorified web proxies?2
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Today, I made an event-based gamepad library.
Although, I was lazy. I am planning on only supporting one controller so the library only supports one controller at a time. Plus, it uses some global variables.
But still, kinda fun
2 -
Am I the only one who hates when I enter a simple question like "PHP memory limit" and the first link *isn't* the official PHP documentation? Who gives a flip about some fancy third-party webpage where they write a whole flippin' article about a simple directive?
Ugh... The priority Google...6 -
Am I the only one who forgets to declare data types in Java after months of coding in only Ruby and Python? 😵1
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Is it weird that, despite the professional setting, when a client actually thanks us/me for swift/efficiently done job that I feel a little happier with myself?1
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It's official, I'm now the only senior in my team, the other person got promoted for a new position in a new team and now I'm fucked.2
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I need a cloning machine for those days when 3 clients call support for top priority issues and each one needs it in the next 20 minutes2
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Am I the only one that can only work with pure silence or white noise? Any kind of music/distraction will mess up my concentration.3
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Apparently I was the only one that didn’t get the “let’s skip the 9am class” memo. Drove an hour to school only for class to be canceled. EAD.
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1. React and all subsequent Facebook endeavors die
2. Be able to completely understand all code I come across
3. More dev wishes2 -
U've seen one dev creating Java-Classes like 'GetLevel' which contain only one method that is called 'getLevel'. And it wasn't even a static method.4
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I think I'm not the only one that wants an option to only show original content in the joke/meme category 😘5
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Am I the only one that thinks that there should be, a preview of the comment that's being replied to, inside the reply?5
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Status: Fixed two NullpointerExceptions in one commit as a bugfix, with only one cup of coffee and all that on a friday.
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3 exams over, only two left. One pretty easy and one pretty stupid one. But atleast I can have a drink in the meantime 😋
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What's your favourite under appreciated programming language?
By that, I mean a programming language that isn't widely used but deserves more recognition?
I'll leave the exact definitions for you 🙂12 -
Am I the only one who uninstalls apps only to reinstall them after a few hours?
And then I waste the time to reconfigure those apps once again..2 -
Fingerprint Scanner.
Anyone who had already configured a fingerprint reader in Linux that can help me?
I have an "Egistec ES603" (A Chinese imitation) fingerprint reader and can't install it myself.
been trying to install fprint for an hour with no luck (I think I already installed it and maby doesn't launch? Don't know).
Fingerprint GUI detects the reader as etes603, can read any finger one time and crashes when asks to pass the finger again...
Frustrated with this shit, but I really wanna fingerprint protection...
Btw It worked fine in Windows, so must also work in Linux. -
One of our departments works only on Thinclients and one of my colleagues made an loop. You can think what happened.7
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Am I the only one that when he haves to download something (a map for a game, as example) download a whole pack and end having 40k files that I'll for sure not use them all..?
Because it finds out I just downloaded 200k files... :)2 -
Am I the only one to this date who still doesn't feel comfortable using the NumPad? I always have the NumLock key turned off and people who borrow my computer get annoyed by that. I've always typed numbers using the row above the letters. Typing numbers on the NumPad is very slow and unnatural to me. Is someone else out there feeling the same?4
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I need advice fellow developers, am I stubborn?
So I lost an argument in my team regarding constant vs variable directly in a method for stored procedure names.
I separated names of procedures into their own StoredProcedureConstants file because it makes it very easy to see all procedures used in a project and refactor their names if necessary. Argument against was that you loose time creating a constant. Am I silly if I am alergic to seeing quotation marks stuff without its designated purpose throughout the code?
Their way is adding var procedureName = "cc.storeProcedureName" directly in a method. I just can't find my peace with it. To me this is a magic string.
Am I being unreasonable?3 -
One thing I do well and the only thing I like doing, and the only thing I could think of doing at all1
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I frikin' love updating Gitlab, every time I do, I feel a sense of dread that some part of the process breaks and I will have to dive head first into the huge thing, with almost no knowledge of how the internals work!
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Is my country the only one with a mandatory fucking 3 month notice? Come on it can't be the only one.11
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Am I the only one here with spurious notifications? It says I have one or two even immediately after I've checked (and there weren't any).
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The only commit in a repo without revision is the firt one!
And that one adds a barely empty README file!!1
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