If that rant reaches 666 ++'s, I'm gonna cut a client's dick and sacrifice it to our Lord and Savior Satan.

Me: *laying in bed because I have a day off*
Client: *slides in* Do you have time for our lord and savior "bugs in production"
Me: *screams*

*Bell rings*
*some dude holding a book*

“I thought you might me interested in discussing our lord and savior, blockchain”

Only one sticker.

I go door-to-door every Sunday, "Excuse me dear sir/madam, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior Haskell?".

Most people slam the door shut in my face, but every lost family I convert to the way of the monad is worth it.

Even if they don't believe in the same deity, even if they express their love for the divine through something as misguided as Typescript or Swift or whatever, as long as they embrace the truth of strong types and composable code, as long as they at least read the gospel of the functional style once in their lives, have one enlightened moment where they see the glory of morphisms, it's all good.

*knock knock*
SIR do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior the WINDOWS UPDATE?
"uhm no sorry I'm busy"
*sees a bulldozer in the background*
"what the .."
SIR just let him in your heart and feel his security patches drive your vulnerabilities away!!
"but the rendering hasn't finished ye.."
TOO LATE SIR, green light fellas let's do this
*bulldozer destroys my house and i wake up, sweating*

*hugs laptop*
"Oooh Ubuntu my baby I've missed you soo much!"
*wayland crashes*

The devRant community:

@dfox: Our lord and savior, a rockstar who gets his comments ++'d just for being dfox
@trogus: The designer who lives in the shadow of dfox, but is still beloved
@tisaconundrum: Has 1 ++ for every time someone has tried, and failed, to pronounce his username in their head. (It's a lot)
@letmecode: The most consistently angry rants
@calmyourtities: I see him a lot
@me: I get mentioned every time the google assistant makes the "algo-rhythm" joke
@linux, @linuxxx, and @linuxforfun are linux users.

Continue in the comments!

I’m getting really tired of all these junior-turn-senior devs who can’t write simple code asking ChatGPT to solve everything for them.

I’m having to untangle everything from bizarre organization/flow to obvious gotchas / missed edge cases to ridiculously long math chains (that could be 1/10th the length), or — and I feel so dirty for this — resorting to asking ChatGPT wtf it was thinking when it obviously wrote some of these monstrosities. Which it gets wrong much of the time.

“ALL HAIL CHATGPT!” Proclaims the head of Engineering. “IT’S OUR PRODUCTIVITY SAVIOR! LEVERAGING AI WILL LET US OUTPERFORM THE ENTIRE INDUSTRY!”

Jesus fucking christ.

What do programmer jehova's witnesses say door to door?
.
Would you like to hear about our great savior linux?

Excuse me sire, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior, free upgrade to Windows 10?

Rust devs on social media are the vegans of the programming world.

Yeah, we get it, you like your hot new programming language. I'm not bashing the language, I've never used it so I'd have no right to say anything about it.

But holy hell, you guys don't have to show up in every discussion about programming languages that aren't Rust to evangelicize how great Rust is. Like damn, there could be a thread on Twitter about Python and you'd be like "yeah Python's great but have you ever heard of our lord and savior, Jesus cRUST?"

Just shut up lol.

Our Code everlasting
The all creating One
Coders Almighty

Through Our Holy Lines
Conceiving Algorithms
Konrad Zuse our Savior

I believe in Clean Code
I believe in Free Software
I believe in Open Source
Our Code is three in one
I believe in the bug-free project
That'll be compiled again
For I believe in the name of Alan Turing

Whenever i want to chill out, play games and movies the computer is very supportive
"Here ya go fella ooo 20 chrome tabs on a conspiracy? Sure why not" but i swear to god the moment i want to be productive,

"What's that? Android studio? Why don't i triple the normal loading time, freeze for 1absolutely no reason ooo u wanna run emulator with that? Lol okay sweetie good luck"
or or
"Sir do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, the WINDOWS UPDATE? Oh no you can't shut the door your house is practically OURS"

Guys i feel my computer is sentient. It doesn't want me getting too smart for ..reasons? Does anyone else feel the same way about their machine? I hope its not too late to start a revolution yet

Our lord and savior Rust be praised!

God save WPF our savior against stupid writing cords and deadlines!

Now seriously its god damn good :D im not talking about Visual Studio, which takes huge chunk of my SSD (thx Microsoft), usseles parts of it (notifications inapp etc.) and a lot of .NET frameworks!

Our lord and savior vscode