+1 if you like my new laptop skin...

I met one of my friend from my childhood he asked me what I do for a living.

I told him : "I am a full stack developer"

He : What does that mean? What you have to do in office?

Me: I write code for websites in very simple words.

He: Like facebook?

Me: yes, exactly.

He: So you work for windows?

Me: What makes you think that?

He: Aren't websites comes with the computer?

Me: I am so unfortunate to meet you.

Funniest thing I heard in my computer science class

P1: What's GitHub?
P2: It's like an IDE like Eclipse but an online version.

1) Stop going to univershity
2) Started python coding at home from online courses.
3) Got the best paid job among batchmates.

Coz programmer's happiness comes only after a peak frustration

Behind every successful developer there is a deactivated Facebook profile.

sudo apt-get father

If every issue is a critical, none of them are

I help blind children in weekends.

**blind is a verb here

Its all about logic....

Ask questions during interview.
Ask about trainings - it's usually a good sign when company offers training budget. Ask about specifics - sometimes it's a shared pluralsight account, and nothing else, which means that that had an idea and half assed it into existence.
Ask tech recruiter about overtime, a good sign is when they have no idea or say that it must be budgeted and scheduled - it means that it does not happen often.
Ask if it is possible to select and change projects, and how often it happens - if often, it may be bad low level management, or people learning new things and jumping between projects.
Also make sure to ask about rules for promotions and pay rises. Good company wił have a clear set of rules in place.
All of the above apply to mid to large companies.
For small company, i'm sure it will be different.

Was asked to make an e-sign system that manipulates PDFs to insert an image and the date at different coordinates on x number of different pages.

200 hours later, it was done. Now I'm the PDF guy

I was at the robotics group of our school when suddenly two other students (both 2 grades above me) started talking:

P1: I always forget the brackets when writing code

P2: I always forget the return statements

P3: yeah, always takes ages to find out why your code doesn't work

P4: haha, in the end it's just something missing that you didn't notice like a semicolon or a bracket

Me (thinking): do you use a fucking toaster to code? Even if you don't use an ide the compiler tells you what's wrong

Currently in the middle of quarterly planning (its been fun so far). Needs to be signed off by business today.

- My team has ~25 man weeks available in terms of capacity.
- Looking at only priority 0 tasks, last night we calculated the ask from product stands at 64.
- Including P1's, P2's etc. its well over 100 man weeks.
- Email was sent around from business with a list of tasks, asking which can be dropped, de-scoped etc.

Product (non technical) response this morning:
- This one can't take 2 weeks, its not that complicated.
- This one needs to stay, It was originally a Q1 task.
- Can we make this one smaller? (currently only a 3 week task)
- 14 comments on other teams items.

<extreme-sarcasm>
... ah perfect, that cut down the items by less than half. We are now ready for the deadline in 4 hours to have all this signed off on. Great job everyone. Thanks for all the insightful discussions. Go team!
</extreme-sarcasm>

B - Ok guys, here we are to decide who's gonna do what.
What part of the app needs to be developed
P1 - The UX
P2 - The Statistics
P3 - The calls to the server
Me - The flow of work

B - Uhm, right, well scratch that, I'm gonna need you to make a website for a costumer.

Me - But this app is due to the next two weeks!!

B - I'm sure you'll manage.

He should upgrade!

Weekend starts now!!
Beer, pet projects and weed all a developer needs.

I never touch my code if anyone else have made changes in them without asking me.

I cry like a bitch when I get home.

work haunts me to eat

How I met python
[long read but worth]

There's nothing wrong with falling in love with a programming language for her looks. I mean, let's face it - Python does have a rockin' body of modules, and a damn good set of utilities and interpreters on various platforms. Her whitespace-sensitive syntax is easy on the eyes, and it's a beautiful sight to wake up to in the morning after a long night of debugging. The way she sways those releases on a consistent cycle - she knows how to treat you right, you know?

But let's face it - a lot of other languages see the attention she's getting, and they get jealous. Really jealous. They try and make her feel bad by pointing out the GIL, and they try and convince her that she's not "good enough" for parallel programming or enterprise-level applications. They say that her lack of static typing gives her programmers headaches, and that as an interpreted language, she's not fast enough for performance-critical applications.

She hears what those other, older languages like Java and C++ say, and she thinks she's not stable or mature enough. She hears what those shallow, beauty-obsessed languages like Ruby say, and she thinks she's not pretty enough. But she's trying really hard, you know? She hits the gym every day, trying to come up with new and better ways of JIT'ing and optimizing. She's experimenting with new platforms and compilation techniques all the time. She wants you to love her more, because she cares.

But then you hear about how bad she feels, and how hard she's trying, and you just look into her eyes, sighing. You take Python out for a walk - holding her hand - and tell her that she's the most beautiful language in the world, but that's not the only reason you love her.

You tell her she was raised right - Guido gave her core functionality and a deep philosophy she's never forgotten. You tell her you appreciate her consistent releases and her detailed and descriptive documentation. You tell her that she has a great set of friends who are supportive and understanding - friends like Google, Quora, and Facebook. And finally, with tears in your eyes, you tell her that with her broad community support, ease of development, and well-supported frameworks, you know she's a language you want to be with for a long, long time.

After saying all this, you look around and notice that the two of you are alone. Letting go of Python's hand, you start to get down on one knee. Her eyes get wide as you try and say the words - but she just puts her finger on your lips and whispers, "Yes".

The moon is bright. You know things are going to be okay now.

And there you go...＼(◎o◎)／

My company’s upper leadership is sooo focused on the NUMBER of defects that are open on our project and only the number. We give each defect a priority of P0, P1, or P2. You would think this would help prioritize and strategize our plan to fix them. But nope. Every week we have some arbitrary “goal” to hit. A number purely made up by clueless leadership as to what makes a “quality” product.

On Friday’s, managers start harassing devs to merge their fixes and for QA to close out defects. So effectively rushing to hit that arbitrary number or else we’ll have to work Saturday.

Meanwhile they want more test automation coverage to reduce the incoming defect rate. But when the fuck do we have time to develop said tests when all you want is the defect closed to bring down your precious little number?!

They’d rather us close 25 P2 defects to bring the number down rather than 10 P0 or P1 defects. These leaders are so incompetent it kills me! Without any back story, they’re ultimately the reason we’re in this position in the first place! Argghhh!

I would tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it.

Before new years eve I prepared a sheet on google sheets that allowed people to add drink recipes and order drinks (specify how many of each drink they want), calculated part of budget each person had to cover and generated shopping list of drink components with exact amounts needed.
It was more fun to make that thing than to attend the party.

Woke myself up shouting hdcp at 4:40 am today!!!

I was explaining what hdcp was to my sister in the dream, why the HDMI cable wouldn't work..

Had a chuckle and continued to sleep, realizing what a nerd I am 😆

Who dreams about hdcp and hdmi cables?

Dream big

Me ( a python dev) pointing to a good java joke in dev rant to my brother who happens to be working at TCS for the past 5 years as a Java Developer...

Me: Java is shit...
He: huh java is the best! every language in the world is written over java. My manager said this.
Me: I think I will kill him today in his sleep.

Companies! For the love of your peoples sanity give the developers of all ages worthwhile machines. If you send us to clients to develop iOS apps, send macs also 😤

First day at work, my PC starts updating, reboots and suddenly, the boot partition is corrupt.
Nice way to start in Dev.

"by the way, the PROD and QA services use the same database tables"

<br>
exit

!dev
The universe is made of electrons, neutrons, Protons and morons..

You probably know that one but I still enjoy it..

Maybe this one is new to you:
2 guys walk into a bar.
P1: I’ll take a glass of H2O.
P2: I’ll take some H2O, too.

The second guy died..

Just found this awesome function in the old commits.

def clean_cache():
'''
This function cleans the stored cache in every update. Make sure to call it before every feature addition.
'''
print 'Cache is cleared. '
return

Started a new job last week. Pays a tad below average for position, but i get training time and budget for anything i want.
So far i have had few days of company introduction, and now a week for training courses related to position.
I have not seen any code yet, brought no value in, just joined.
Massive green flag to me.

Oh, you work in software? I had this cool idea...

`git push origin master --force`

Right now? DeathNote..

So I was working on a website for a club in my college. I designed a pretty decent UI and at first everyone accepted it. So I made a working website with my friend, made backend with node and all was set.

After that, the fucking member of club brought in another graphic designer for changes. And they literally made the whole website with heavy images. The designer made heavy neon backgrounds in Adobe Illustrator and didn't even compressed it.

They made the whole fucking website with images and they ran it all on localhost and were happy with the speeds! ಠ_ಠ

They even put an image in fucking Navbar!

And then I left that project, I could not see more destruction.

Me: Ok google
Google assistant: your mic is turned off

Export my over-attached girlfriend in a UDP packet.

This is just a temporary workaround. I will come back to this and fix this later. NEVER HAPPENS :)

>makes a bug report about the JS linter in Eclipse Che not working

> makes it a P2 bug (moderate severity)

> confirms in their current implementation it doesnt work

> escalates to P1 (high severity)

wow for once Eclipse is actually making their shit better

Working at a big-ish tech is like a completely different world.

Do we even speak the same words?

Why can't you say agree like a normal person. Who the frig made "++" a real life word (is it a verb/noun? wtf is it)

and then all those other acronyms like OKR, P1,p2,p3

Who talks like that?

I would like to see a full stack developer version of it.

Found this on 9gag it's fucking hilarious...

can't believe it but things actually have started to fall into place on their own, career-wise. feels unreal. need to work enough to afford a cottage with a cobblestone path & my life will be complete

what is the point of having massive HR departments if something as expected and frequent as university hiring can't go smoothly?

i managed to reach the interview round for a big 4 firm only for the interviewer to not show up for 4 hours from my time slot (i waited the entire time - took periodic screenshots for proof), HR to say "we'll reschedule your interview, this happened because of internal miscommunication" more than THREE months ago, and dip. until december they'd repeat the same. now they've ghosted. thanks, virtual hiring.

how is it the candidate's fault? found out this isn't rare by speaking to a few others from my network who i knew were interviewing for the same firm. for students whose lives can change completely based on the outcome of an opportunity that they came across due to sheer luck and could definitely make use of because of their hard work - this is so heartbreaking and demotivating.

Company i work for just posted updated pay rates.
It's good. They went from lower end of spectrum to a little above the average in terms of pay, and benefits stay the same - solid.

This Monday I start my first job as a junior web developer and a coworker already my first two hours will be free time, don't know how to feel 😓

Not leaning on unit tests. I usually write them after testing my code manually, and lose time for testing feature by hand.

Okay so I am a computer science student, and here's what my parents and relatives think I do-
typing random letters and numbers into the computer system until it magically turns into some working mobile app, which is their expectation. While I am coding some addition program just for them to see 2+2=4.

Story Time: About Priorities and Sales

So at this point I'm working tech support for a company that makes some super cool networking equipment, think big data / data centers and such.

This company had grown at a good pace but the the support team had not (thus is the way for all tech support evetually). So I get a call from a frantic sales guy:

Sales: "OMG, where are with this ticket?!?!? It's a P2 ticket!!!"

Me: "Well the ticket came in 30 minutes ago, I emailed them some questions, but just so you know I have 8 P2 tickets, and 4 P1 tickets.... so it will be a while."

Sales: "OMG! Make my customer's ticket a P1!!"

Me: "Sure."

-call ends-

-30 minutes passes-

-sales calls again-

Sales: "OMG, where are with this ticket?!?!? It's a P1 ticket!!!"

Me: "Well I haven't gotten to them yet... just so you know I have 7 P2 tickets, and 5 P1 tickets.... "

Sales "ARGH!"

ʅ（´◔౪◔）ʃ

The only thing that gives me life.....😌☕

Finally able to complete my almost-aorus build!

Ryzen 5 3600
Gigabyte Aorus B450 Pro Wifi
Team Delta 2x16gb 3600mhz
Western Digital 2tb 3.5
Crucial P2 500gb NVME m.2
Gigabyte Aorus RX 5700 XT 8gb
Aorus GP AC300G Tempered Case
Gigabyte Aorus P850w 80 gold
Gigabyte Aorus Cooler 360
ID Cooling XF 12025 RGB Trio
Viewsonic XG2405 24in IPS 144hz 1ms

Cables are not managed yet, sorry. And I like listening to Blankpink 😋

fucking software licenses

Why the hell does that happen?

Ever tried explaining GitHub to someone? I swear it's like trying to teach a dog to ride a bike. You can try, but it's probably not going to end well.
Okay, rant over. Back to coding... and dealing with merge conflicts... and pull requests... and GitHub issues... sigh.

Stick to one project about which you want to learn but don't know how to do it,complete it...and now you have learnt something new

I was brought into my new position as part of an transformation of waterfall to agile methodology.

We are now running 4 while projects and need to restart the remaining 29 projects using agile principles. The business management type people love agile, but somehow the people inside the current waterfall practices doesn't.

They are afraid their silo work will either expand or not exist thus making it hard to transform the company. Also the company have been subjected to the dead sea effect.

Therfore, the project that is currently in the space of transformation is making my blood boil because people just ain't passionate enough about software.

Either you craft software, or, well you sit and suckle other's money. People suckling should please grow up and start venturing beyond there cozy 9 to 5 and transform to be a professional software doer rather than a BA, DEV, IT GUY.

YOU BASTARDS GET A SHITLOAD OF MONEY AND DON'T DESERVE IT FOR THE EFFORT YOU BRING.

It is your software, own it, be proud of it. Read up to make it better. And as always, the people debugging your code can be a violent psychopath

every day my boss says he'll review the requirements for our product. every day he forgets to do so. every day he asks where the update for the next stage is. every day i remind him. every day he forg ---

Does anyone else feels that LinkedIn is a kind of professional trash? Majority of users there are just for posting out their certificates and to but buzz words in their bio.

i received a job offer to work at area 51 on extremely sophisticated projects primarily as a c++ engineer. this is the highest pay offer i have ever seen, which i can not discuss right now, but what else to expect when you work for the government. i have bad perception about this. should i take this job or refuse?

He pushes "build"
But alas
New requirement email

Always have a roll forward plan, backups, and a site B. Especially if you think it is a non critical system.

I will train myself to be an avenger. In case things went wrong like ultron.
Anyone wanna join me?
Write your superpowers.

I like working my 10 hours a day. So for the 6 of them I want to pair program with my grads I expect them to be as focused as I am, actually even more, but 25 minutes into a session they just zoom out and start making jokes.

Pro tip: write ugly codes to obfuscate code

Writting stuff after while(true).

Uploaded a virtual machine on VCS as an intern. So that people can use my code.

Developer 1: You know what they say, programming is just like sex.

Developer 2: Wait, what? I've never heard that before.

Developer 1: Yeah, you spend all your time trying to fix things that should never have happened in the first place.

what are personal projects if not the daughters of hackathon solutions that never saw the light of day

I often get distracted by other incompetent teams and preach ddd and tdd to them instead of writing my own code

What did spider-man do in his free time??

He develops Web

Enter key is my only stress relief toy.
What's your? ಠ_ಠ

Okay so being a developer is mostly like playing a never ending game of whack-a-mole with BUGS, you think you have fixed one until few more pops up like a bad case of acne.
But you know what's even worse? When you finally get something working, and you're feeling all proud of yourself, and then someone comes along and tells you that it's not "visually appealing" enough. "Can't you just add some more glitter and unicorns to the homepage? Oh, and can you make it look like it was designed by a unicorn who majored in art?"

I spent ~12h working on a simple issue/bug.
7h was spent on rebuilding local dev environment which is a clusterfuck of maven profiles, tomcat, some autogenerated degeneracy, and 2 different build systems for JS.
5h spent on actual bug fixing, code reviews and so on.
FML

Send an email.
Or, more seriously: invite only people who must be there, and can add something to the discussion, have an agenda, stick to it, and plan the meeting so that it ends at the start of lunch break. That way everybody will be interested in finishing on time or earlier.

One of my few friends died with unknown reasons. Would it be unethical to hack their accounts to get more info?

My rant started today

You know it is not acceptable to not finally answer this goddamn question for myself or with some help !

PyTorch is driving me insane !
I follow the goddamn docs, practically just created a copy of the sample for the training portion, even if my design were to suck, the training steps SHOULD change the model parameters right ?

so if I do a...

model.parameters().clone() before training
and mode.parameters().clone() after training

torch.equal(p1.data,p2.data) should be false right ????

tell me guys what would you prefer:

function a(){
..
b(..)
..
b(..)
..
}
function b(p1,p2,p3,p4,p5,p6){.
...
}

or

function a(){
..
b(..)
..
b(..)
..
}

function b(
p1,
p2,
p3,
p4,
p5,
p6
){
...
}

if you read this rant before expanding, you got a complete context on how what function a is, its calling b 2 times and how function b looks.

if instead of the first option, i had used 2nd block, you wouldn't even know the 2nd param of b function without expanding this rant.

my point?
i prefer to keeping unnecessary info on one line. and w lot of linters disagree by splitting up the code. and most importantly , my arrogant tl disagree by saying he prefers the splitted code "for readability" and becaue "he likes code this way, old-eng1 likes this and old-eng2 likes this" .

why tf does an ide have horizontal a scrolling option available when you are too stupid to use it?

ok, i know some smartass is going to point that i too can use vertical scrolling, but hear me out: i am optimising this!

case 1 : a function with 7 params is NOT split into 7 lines. lets calculate the effort to remember it
- since all params could have similar charactersticks ( they will be of some type, might have defaults, might be a suspendable/async function etc), each param will take similar memory-efforts points. say 5sp each.
- total memory-efforts= 5sp *7 = 35 sp.
- say a human has 100 sp of fast memory storage, he can use the remaining 65 sp for loading say 5 small lines above or below.
- but since 5 lines above are already read and still visible on screen, they won't be needed to be loaded again nd again, nd we can just check the lines below.
- thus we are able to store 65+35+65 = 165 sp or about 11 lines of code in out fast memory for just a 100sp brain storage

case 2 function with 7 params IS split into 7 lines.
- in this case all lines are somewhat similar. 5sp for param lines as they are still similar which implies same 35sp for storing current function and params
- remaining 65sp can only be used to store next 5 lines of 13sp as the previous code is no longer visible.
- plus if you wanna refresh the code above, you gotta scroll, which will result in removing bottom code from screen , and now your 65sp from bottom code is overwritten by 65sp of top code.
- thus at a time, you are storing only 6 lines worth of code info. this makes you slow.

this is some imaginary math, but i believe it works

One of my friend offered me $500 for creating a virus in "assembly"
I lost $500

Stop using 'i' in loops

I am currently going to start data structures and algorithms in python...
suggest me a roadmap according to your experience

Looking at Keyboards. Really like the Hermes P2. No stock anywhere.

Hermes P2A in stock... No reviews, Found one review on YouTube, 2 minutes long, in a language I do not recognize. The title and description are in English though

How did they program keyboard?

If the editor knows where's the error
Then it should solve it on its own.....

Windows be like; Hey, when the fuck should I update then!?

need more experience for good entry-level jobs, need a good entry-level job for more experience. yay

I'm kinda looking for a new phone, should be super cheap (so a used one would do), I wanna modify it to be secure (proper encryption, VPN, etc.), very good battery time and not very big (more like 4"). I have been looking at the Lenovo P2 a lot, but I'm afraid my current phone will die before I have enough money for that one (I'm a broke trainee yay).

So what do y'all have or can recommend?

line breaks after 100 or so characters suck. function chaining will look bad in one line, but it doesn't mean we need to limit all our lines to a hard length.
ex:

config.logger.e(TAG, "func() called with: p1 = $p1, p2 = $p2, p3 = $p3, p4 = $p4, p5 = $p5")
this is a standard log that i add at the start of my functions . its easy to autogenerate in intellij , even if my class and variable names are much long (like mVideoAnalyticsManager) . when these variables and their string names add up, they will easily go out of the screen and i won't mind scrolling a few seonds to the left to ensure everything is correct (which 99.9% is)

but a fucking ctrl+alt+l and all strings are broken with a fucking +
+
+
+
+)

AAGh its just irritating ://////

Got pissed that my story delayed the whole project by 3 weeks (major story, lots of changes, and management decided to put me in a few extra activities outside of the project).
Stayed up until like 23:00 to deliver PR.

I don't know game development but idk I accepted an offer for game development competition..
the fuck I didn't even knew how to make one...
Now I. am working with Ursina Engine....
even the code on google does not work........

I caught up a scammer last night he was doing some astrology and stuff.
He asked for money......
I gave him a grabify link.....
He gave me his location(accidentally)and told me to teach him the trick....
He wasn't even scared

Get to know the new company better (Changed job shortly before Christmas).
Learn some DPs, DDD, k8s, finish introduction to hacking course, start doing htb and thm machines, finish and defend my thesis, finish books clean code, thinking in java (reading it to fill in gaps on knowledge), a few books about pentesting.
Among non tech goals: pass drivers license exam for cars, another one for motorcycles, go back to learning russian.

Microsoft officially discontinued the Internet Explorer but that information still needs to be processed (●__●)

Isn't the subscribe function devrant work like creepy stalking someone...
Like what he commented,liked or posted....

can someone explain me what are ADT(abstract data types)

Hi I am a good nice person with a nice son and everything thing in my house is VERY NICE

Update of previous post
I just got assigned to a project.
Project-specific training is designed to take up to 20 days.
I got materials, videos, and a person who is in this project for a long time to supervise training and introduce me to the project.
Only problem is that the project apparently uses 5 years old version of base framework.

Does anyone else also feels like "I knew it why I didn't try this way, this was easy" after using stackoverflow

which is the best cloud provider for a complete beginner (user/dev) in terms of community support, employer preference and user-friendliness?

i know that understanding the tech and concepts behind it matters more than getting familiarized with a specific platform, but i'm looking to build a more diverse profile and have noticed many positions asking for AWS/Azure experience.

since i'll be starting from scratch, any provider with easy-to-follow documentation, online help and certifications that don't leave you broke (would have to pay myself, earn very less as a student from a third-world country, parents/current employer can't support) would work.