Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
When people say: "All you do is sit in front of your PC doing stuff. Get a life"
Me: This is my life!5 -
Me, in the zone, staring at the code. Co-worker enters.
Co: hey, can you...
Me (not really listening): no.
Co: it's just...
Me: no.
Co: later?
Me: no.
Co: but...
Me: no.
Co: (leaving)13 -
People who say "hi" on slack and then take 50 years to say what they actually want to say.
People who sit on the table beside yours to play games on their phones.
People who call you dad.
People.11 -
!dev
Train operator: "Dear Valued Passanger: GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE DOOR OR LEAVE MY TRAIN."
At least it was what he'd like to say, based on his voice :/3 -
Pro tip: It is faster and easier to say 'World Wide Web' than it is to say 'WWW'.
You're Welcome!19 -
README.md file on some random GitHub repository
"A Python program written in Python which does xyz task"
Ok you don't say2 -
They say, MATHS is a universal language,
They say, WAR is a universal language,
They say, LOVE is a universal language,
They say, SEX is a universal language,
.
.
I say C is the universal Language!!!9 -
*offering sweets to a fellow at work
Colleague: Oh I'm a diabetic but What you've got here aaaaaa.....
My Brain:
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Me: Oh come-on already One small piece won't kill you11 -
Note to self : when a client say "we want to develop 'exact clone' of SomeFuckingBigCompany" - Say NO.3
-
Just set a cron on a coworkers machine to play "What does the fox say" at max volume at 8 when he's the only one here.
May need to review the security footage in the morning.2 -
I fucking hate it when people completely ignore/forget something I say and then later say the same thing like they came up with it.13
-
So, I had a friend who hated VS Code like a fuckton alot however, most of my friends are VS Code users and he's the only one who uses atom. He say that it's greater than VS Code and code then would die sooner.
Fast forward to today, he now ranted at my Discord DM about atom ahving slow startups, extensions that doesn't work, that kind of shit, not to mention hentried to commit improperly indented code (we have nazi style enforcement in out projects regarding codestyle) and made CodeClimate ranted over it.
"That's what you get for shitting VS Code" I said. Hours later, he tried VS Code and he instantly fell in love with it.
One down, more to go12 -
Some men say, women are too complex to understand, for them I would say try coding in JavaScript :P9
-
I as the "coffeedrinker" stopped drinking coffee and energy drinks. I do not want to be anyone's boss but if you think you can live without them, do it. I am fairly young and after a long period of frequent consumption ( 1 coffee or drink per day), I was waking up at nights or struggling during the days from constant heart pains. Now 2 months later this phenomenon happens seldom and I feel better and more refreshed after my sleeping. I know this is irrelevant but I know fellow devs that overconsume these kind of drinks. At least if you can limit your dose! :) I just want everyone to be healthy and happy! Have a nice day! ♥60
-
Let an expert consultant write your code, they say. It will be all right, they say.
Found this today in a legacy codebase.
3 -
Some say DC is the best, Some say Marvel is the best,
But deep down we all know, 1GB is 1024 MB not 1000MB5 -
Fullstack developer Job ad:
........ Building the next generation of IOT. Innovation that will change the way internet works.
Requiremenets:
- wordpress
...5 -
Me: So, tell me more about what you want me to code.
Friend: Well... Do something nice.
Me: Like?
Friend: I don't know, I thought you're the expert...
Me: You motherf...1 -
I hate cliched lines in office.
When someone I respect leaves the company I don't say "Good luck for your future. Keep in touch". I shake hands, look them in the eye and say "It's been an honor"
On a birthday I don't say "Happy Birthday". I say "May you grace the cover of Time magazine" or something else related to their aspirations.3 -
Why The Fuck do you always have to say "Yes"?
I'm asking for a goddamn opinion. Give me an opinion.
But no, everything I say must be fucking gold 'cause it's always "yes", "you're right", "good idea", "I agree".
It's irritating as hell. It's "yes" even when I say something stupid on purpose.
Learn to say no, for fuck's sake.12 -
I was noticing some slow network and it was dropping some connections. So I booted up my old XP install with Java 6 so connect to the ASA 5505, I see it’s logging max connections of 10000 has been reached.
Fine, I recon it’s my colleague backing up his entire machine to Google Drive.
Because when he shut it off, n connections dropped.
I check back in the log, and I see there’s 4-500 connections happening per second, I think WTF and check the source IP. Lots of random IPs from Vietnam, all going to a Windows2008 Server using rdp.
(I didn’t setup our servers, so I didn’t know which server it was accessing)
Ask my other colleague, he told me it’s a windows server from an earlier project that’s not used anymore.
I rdp into it, see there’s users logged in from around the world, and I immediately do a shutdown.
Would you look at that, connections per second dropped to about 50.
I guess that server isn’t going back online ever.
And I now need to ask management for a budget to update our network infrastructure, because the old ASA 5505 is begging me to die.
TL;DR gg previous employees didn’t shut down old servers and left them open to the world to enjoy9 -
One of my biggest annoyances: people say 8bit to describe anything remotely pixellated. These morons could look at a black and white computer image and say 8 bit6
-
Started using windows mixed reality for part of my work day, best part, using Cortana voice activation to do things in my virtual space, worst part, every time i say 'hey Cortana,' my google home makes a snide remark.
Fucking google4 -
After looking at @linuxxx and @AlexDeLarge 's rants with the face reveal, maybe we ought to do one of the team behind the masterpiece, @trogus and @dfox face reveal.
IF they are comfortable with it.
Or maybe do it on a special occasion. Like an anniversary or something?14 -
Today I make a big progress in agile development.
You don't say fuck you. You say your request is in the back log.
😎 -
I was not having much respect for out front-end developer, as the UI is not so good., yea. I know it UI depends on the designer.
Now the new design changed and our UI looks awesome.,
and I must say that my respect increased a lot when my pm asked him to fix the layout in UC Browser.
Fucking shit., in UC it is showing two lanes as one lane. I don't know why., he was working hard to fix that.
Massive Respect to him. I really happy by being backend dev.8 -
Shit Developers say:
Fuck you Jasmine and your camelCase
I’ve been wrestling cucumbers all day
Oh no all the cucumbers are broken
In a fit of refactoring madness I have gone and changed a lot
Did you seriously just give ME nil?... No!
If the shit sticks, then we put nice paint on it
Fucking red dot motherfucker (Ben and his failing specs)
You know what we don’t do often..kill each others builds. Kill them and reschedule for later. Mwahaha ha ha.
This build is going to be so rad...(5mins later)...Ok this is not going to pass..I can feel it in my waters!
Can i do that in a digital way or do i have to move my meaty body downstairs to find him?
All the donkeys have be out the gate by sundown
God, imagine if you could patent mathematical solutions
actually, I wouldn't be surprised if you can in the states "no, you can't use a laplace transform, you haven't got the rights, you have to use a less accurate transform on your matrices"
ooooo a boolean that's phrased in the negative, my favourite for code review destruction!
Fuck the police i'll call the object here
Web RTC - its super easy, all you have to do is..probably some hard stuff
I want to go to that conference so I can start arguments with dickheads about semicolons. Just for fun.
This this is not the same as that this.
Can’t come to work I can’t find any clothes. It’s best for everyone if I just don’t come in. ...2 hours later... Yeah my clothes were just in the other room and i couldn’t be fucked moving
(OH about bad bug reports) - you know when they are all like oh joogly joogly doesn’t doodle doodle and it should wobbly doodle you know? and im all like fuck i don’t know any of that shit you are talking about.
Him: "I don’t like it, it’s against REST convention its so 2006 that my eyes are bleeding. As a privileged white male i feel entitled to complain about this." Me: "you. were. eleven in 2006
Source: Kellective Github2 -
Windows asks to update. I say no and 10min later i get this casual update continuing.
Glad i have a say in life
8 -
You can always tell if someone is a programmer by asking them:
Is zero equal to zero or equal to 1?
Non devs say 0, devs say 115 -
My strategy is really really dumb. I go outside and smoke... ive done this for so long that im now at the point that im terrified that if i stop smoking i wont get unstuck. pathetic isnt it?3
-
npm: "npm does not support Node.js v10.24.0; You should probably upgrade to a newer version"
Also npm: "Supported releases are the latest release of 4, 6, 7, 8, 9"
Uh...good to know this piece of software is still a dump where rejected code goes to rot.2 -
I'm so fucking sick of pouring hours of work into providing application code for someone who could give two shits about what I've done -- instead he completely fixates on what's missing or broken -- nevermind that I completely eliminated a bad UI thread bottleneck.
Sometimes I swear that coding is a thankless job and people just expect miracles.1 -
I wish I can say that I'm a full-stack developer... too bad all I can say is I'm a fully developed stack of fat 😂
-
I need someone to make me a list of things I am not allowed to say and who I’m not allowed to say them to at work. This is getting ridiculous. Every time I turn around someone is making this face at me 😬 and saying “Don’t say that to that team” or “Don’t say that to this person”. I can’t do my work right if I have to keep censoring myself on everything people find organizationally sensitive.19
-
Devs: There is to much work for the team size, can we say no or wait to the business?
Mgmt: Here are some staff aug contractors.
Later
Devs: They are screwing things up.
Mgmt: Then manage them better, it’s your work they are doing.2 -
My internship is about to end in two months. I was under the impression that I'll start looking for a job towards mid August and then decide what to do. I didn't expect my company to offer me a position so early before my internship ended.
Initially I had liked the place. The work was pretty relaxed and I had quite a bit of freedom. Soon enough, I proved my worth and my team started respecting my opinions and suggestions. They even consulted me on multiple occasions.
The first thing I noticed on the downside was the company, despite being resourceful enough and having a decent turnover and important clients, was quite stingy in terms of employee welfare. There was no coffee. There was machine but you had to buy the capsule for yourself. And that sucks. I know I don't need to say more but the other problems were there was no enterprise subscription (or any subscription) to PhpStorm even though our team handled so many PHP projects. I know IDEs are personal preferences but not having any professional IDEs is not something to let slide. The lead dev uses NetBeans (and not because he loved it or anything). Even though I worked on WebDev and front end, I had no option to ask for a second screen. I had one display apart from my laptop. Usually most companies in Paris provides food tickets for internships and this company did not even give me that. And worst of all, there wasn't really anyone I looked up to. As much as I enjoy responsibilities and all, I don't think I should be in an environment where I have nothing much to learn from my seniors. For some fucked sense of security and certainty, I was willing to overlook all this when they offered me a position. But I recently had my interview and the regional manager, a fuck face who still makes me wonder how he reached his position, made a proposal for some quite a small amount of salary. What infuriated more than his justifications was his attitude itself. There was absolutely no respect whatsoever. It was more like "We'll give you this, I think this is more than enough for you. Take it or do whatever you want". I asked for more and he didn't even bother negotiating. I declined the offer.
Now this would have solved all the issues. But my manager and my lead dev like me a lot. Both of them are pretty nice people. They both were bothered with the fact that I had turned down the offer. My manager even agreed that the offer was too low and had already given me tips to help me negotiate. But after I turned down the offer, she went and discussed the issue with the regional manager and he offered me a new proposal. This time it was decent but still under my expectations. I'm pretty sure I can do better elsewhere. I said I need time to think about it. I get multiple advises from people to take it atleast so that I get my visa converted to a work permit. For some reason, I want to take the risk and say no. And find something else. But today my lead dev called me aside and asked me if was going to say no. He really tried to influence me by telling me a lot of good things about me and telling me about the number of different projects we're going to start next month and all that. Even though I'm fully convinced that I don't want to work here, just the sheer act of saying no to these two people I respect is sooo fucking difficult for me that I can already imagine me working here for the next one year. The worst part is I can clearly classify their words and sentences into stuff they say to canvass me, stuff they're bullshitting about and flattery just to make me stay. Despite knowing I'm being taken advantage of, some fucked up module in my head wouldn't stop guilt tripping me. I don't know what to do. If I only I could find a really better job.
Pardon the grammatical errors if any. I'm just venting out and my thoughts branch in 500 different ways simultaneously.5 -
Password guidelines...
Just got an online account for an insurance:
Allowed characters for password are a-z, A-Z, 0-9.
Really?
I tried special characters, maybe they just forgot to mention them. Doesn't work, "Password not valid".8 -
Ready...
> access security
access: PERMISSION DENIED.
> access security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.
> access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED...and...
YOU DIDN'T SAY THE MAGIC WORD!
YOU DIDN'T SAY THE MAGIC WORD!
YOU DIDN'T SAY THE MAGIC WORD!
YOU DIDN'T SAY THE MAGIC WORD!
YOU DIDN'T SAY THE MAGIC WORD!
YOU DIDN'T SAY THE MAGIC WORD!
YOU DIDN'T SAY THE MAGIC WORD!
YOU DIDN'T SAY THE MAGIC WORD!
YOU DIDN'T SAY THE MAGIC WORD!
YOU DIDN'T SAY THE MAGIC WORD!
YOU DIDN'T SAY THE MAGIC WORD!
YOU DIDN'T SAY THE MAGIC WORD!
3 -
!metarant
Why do the notifications say "<insert your name here> +1'd your (Rant||Comment)" when it should say "++'d your (Rant||Comment)". 😜6 -
Wanted to test whether my card worked online or not (was having some issues with it) and decided to try becoming a devRant supporter, and it worked!
Gotta say, I feel really happy to be able to give back to devRant and show my support by doing something as small as this. Loving the darker theme too.
Thanks for everything so far, devRant, and happy to be a supporter. -
I will take any dev who can defend their point of view under scrutiny but admit to being wrong over one that just agrees with everything i say. I will also take a dev that asks questions over one who agrees with everything i say. In fact the only thing worse than a dev who agrees with everything i say, is one that disagrees with everything i say, and one that doesnt show initiative.1
-
You say UI (yoo I) but you say GUI (goo ey)
You say Char ( ch-r) but you say character (keh-recter)
You say gif but you say jif12 -
Android is fucking fucked up.
Why the fuck it takes so much of time to build. And trust me,
React + Android is the worst combination. Can't even understand what the fuck it is trying to say?
And sometimes, no body knows what is wrong with something. Seriously look at the picture, that's the solution sent by the Android lead.
Did you realize the repeatedly at the end. 🦆 What try 🦆 dude.
Fuck. I'm ain't gonna work on this after this project.
9 -
Client sends screenshots, compressed, and shrunk down to an unreadable size, inside a docx file.
Just... just no. Where is a spray bottle or a rolled up newspaper when you need one.
(For you three people who are going to comment 'why don't you just teach them...' ssssssssssshut up, some people are just unteachable ( for you other three who are going to say 'everyone is teachable.' Not true, if it was you wouldn't be saying such things.))1 -
Anyone do me a favour. Curse at me, and say the worst things to me, my critics.
Not some soft shit, pampering bullshit, say some harshest shit.20 -
learn when to say no. you gotta play and say yes sometimes, otherwise people won't like you, but if you say yes to anything they'll walk over you2
-
That moment when you realize that writing “that moment when...” is because you’re too passive and insecure to just say what you really want to say...7
-
FUCK YOU TECH LEAD! Our manager explained what he wanted 4 MONTHS AGO! You said we could do it! We can do it! You suddenly changed your mind, instead of asking me WHO IS WORKING ON THE PARTS REQUIRED TO DO THE MAGIC! MAYBE I WOULD KNOW IF IT IS POSSIBLE OR NOT??? MAYBE??? NOW I HAVE TO GO FIGHT YOU, YOUR EGO WILL SAY YOU ARE RIGHT, YOU WONT BACK DOWN, AND WE WILL SCREAM AT EACH OTHER! FUCK, RUINING MY 4 DAY WEEKEND RELAXATION! AND IN FRONT OF THE BOSS!!! FUCK
-
Hello and welcome come to hell for developers. Take a seat at any open computer.
You may have noticed we did away with the fire and brimstone.
Instead we just have you maintain the legacy code from your first job.
It's genrally html, php, javascript, and css all on the same page and all mixed together.
We would say have fun, but that's not really the point.2 -
When non-Rails developers say RoR. just freaking say Rails or Ruby on Rails. I don't like the way RoR sounds, that's all.2
-
"Code monkey not say it out loud. Code monkey not crazy just proud."
-Jonathan Coulton
Regarding many of my rants and, I would suspect, many rants on here. -
November is coming up. That means no mental illness month. Absolutely no front end or JS shit all month. Because it is going to be officially:
"No Nutjob November"
So keep your AOK ass to yourself in November!
(AOK, if you see this, we miss you!)4 -
Ummm, I will assume that you were not able to navigate to the page you have just opened in background. Ok Safari, thanks for the hardwork.
4 -
Fixing a bug under Drupal 8 has a bright and an other bad side
The bad sight is that you slowly get insane trying to fix a bug.
The bright side is that you get to see the lead the lead dev, who assigned you this bug, to get insane too 😁 -
in brazilian portuguese you don’t say friday you say “hoje é dia de maldade” and i think that’s beautiful4
-
Hello, im new here.
You guys seems very interactive. How many active user in this app?
Btw i cant download this app in playstore XD29 -
Just spent all morning adding my own user account to my local MongoDB because some network security guy found I was running an unprotected server on my PC....
I tried all the admin roles to get full access across all databases I have but none worked....
Until I see one at the bottom of the official documentation:
root -
Oh you got to love devs...
One dev will say one thing and swear by it...
Another dev will say the opposite... And swear by it
🙄😨 -
Its festive season. Half of the team mates are on leave. Servers are down. No work can be done. Office looks life less ( which it always is). Boss asking why didnt you take leave. Yes because your free time off is almost zero. I need money. People being happy and getting in relationship/married. I am a fucking loner here.
Dragging my ass across the hallway like a ass fucked zombie. Typing this rant with a grumpy face. And people say monday blues are worst.
Fuck this emptiness. Fuck servers on maintenance. Fuck these white iridescent bulbs glowing for no reason. Fuck people murmuring around me. Fuck everything which is in my sight. Fuck this depressive fucking festive season.2 -
Hey Java Devs, Snakeyaml is trolling us all. For their parser you must use spaces for indentation.
We say TAB, they say TOO BAD. #ForcedConvention1 -
Tell client we need to add an hour to the budget to test, QA, and proof account/password emails to be sent to over 2000 customers.
They say they tested it and to send now.
Charge them for an additional four hours to test, QA, and proof apology emails because client's api was sending broken passwords.1 -
Way of wasting time:
generating csv and importing in Open Office Calc, mysteriously what should be ",-," shows as "-0".
I thought some strange fucking time function was responsible of generating a "0" after my "-", until I discovered that for some fucking reason, Open Office Calc decides to add the fucking "0" by itself.
And they say that computer do what they are told to. I just said to import a fucking "-", it's called "Minus". do you fucking understand Calc?
Back to something useful.1 -
Why do people say Binary to ASCII? Shouldn't they say, "Binary to readable text through/using ASCII"?2
-
They say that we are weird,
they say we don't have passion,
they say we don't have life,
they say we are a sacrifice for the world
.
.
I say we are the best mind who can save the world from its own. WE ARE PROGRAMMERS!!!
(except for C# programmers of course)5 -
can option pls override or operator
this is stupid
say no to
let branch = branch.unwrap_or(config.branch.unwrap_or("something".to_string()));
say yes to
let branch = branch || config.branch || "something".to_string();6 -
Security theater is not security.
I am still on my mother's cell plan. I pay for it, but she is the primary account holder. We are grandfathered into unlimited no restrictions data, and a new phone yearly, so yeah, not giving that up.
Anyway, when i go to the store to manage the account they say, 'sorry, Sarah needs to come in as the primary account holder.'
'I am sarah' I tell them. I am lying, they know I am lying, and they know I know.
But they have no choice but to go along. I even asked once; they are not allowed to ask for proof of id. I don't know why.
It's just security theater.1 -
Is it just me, or does it sound like some people's accents say: "hatechtml." Those people probably also say "Jaah vuh script." Kinda funny....1
-
I know this question sounds dumb but when i google 50% say no and 50% say yes. So my question is, can i spread (a Fileless) Malware with cookies?5
-
Anyone else have a favourite word?
Mine is poes. Afrikaans and translates to pussy but is considered as rude as cunt and used more or less the same as twat12 -
Say goodbye to accounting software. Say goodbye to updates and monthly fees. Paystubsnow is your online stop for all your accounting form needs.
-
What's that about Tornado and flood? Of a warning you say? Oh good I thought you were gonna say we had errors.
-
Im so bored that I downloaded a 2d maze game on my phone...
I know it's cry very easy to solve since just need to go backwards but somehow still play it...
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View