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Search - "simple huh?"
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Welcome back to practiseSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!
*sitcom audience cheers*
Thank you, thank you. Ok so far we've had a developer from hell and a CEO who shot to fame for being the first rectum to receive a passport and be given a job.
2 pretty strong entrants if you ask me. But its time to slow it down and make sure everyone gets a fair chance. Its not all just about the psychopaths and assholes, what about the general weirdo's and the stoners who just made life awkward?
So here we go, Most incompetent co-worker, candidate 3, "A".
"A" was a bit of an unusual developer, despite having a few years experience in his home country, he applied for an unpaid internship to come work with us ... probably should have rang alarm bells but hey we were all young and dumb back then.
I had to say I felt very bad for A, as he suffered from 2 very serious, and job crippling personal conditions / problems
- Email induced panic attacks
- Extreme multifaceted attachment disorder (also known in layman terms as "get the fuck away from me, and do your job" syndrome)
While he never openly discussed these conditions, it was clear from working with him, that he had gone undiagnosed for years. Every time an email would come in no matter how simple ... even the services team asking to confirm his staff ID, would send him into a panic causing him to drop everything he was doing and like a homing missile find me anywhere in the building and ask me what to do.
Actually "A" also suffered from a debilitating literacy issue too, leaving him completely unable to read our internal wiki's himself. Every week we had to follow a set of steps to upgrade something and every week to mask his issue, he'd ask me what to do instead ... no matter how many times I sat with him previously ... must have been truly embarrassing for him.
But "A"'s finest moment in the company, by far, was the day where out of the blue, at the top of his voice (as if wearing headphones ... without wearing headphones) he asked
"DO YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO SELLS POT?"
... why no, manager of the entire department standing behind you, I do not
... why no, tech lead talking to manager, I do not
... why hello 50% of my team staring at me ... no "A", I do not!
Needless to say all our team meetings were a little awkward for the next few weeks after that but hey who doesn't like being thought of as a stoner / drug dealer by their team mates huh?
Will A make it to the top of the list of most incompetent? Well he has some truly logic defining competition yet to be announced.
Tune in later for more practiceSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!!!15 -
2AM and a birthday party of my BELOVED mother that I have to attend tomorrow in the middle of bumfuck. And I'm not sleeping, oh no.. because "family obligations" require me to get her a present on 2 days notice. I'm making her something very simple, some LED's displaying her new age, powered by a lithium cell and some charge-boost-protection controller. So I need to make a mesh to place the LED's to make those characters.
Measuring the size of the project box, cut it out.. started drawing the numbers on it. Not satisfied and ain't nobody got time for that. Guess I'll just print something out. Drew a little image with some text on my tablet, sent it to the printer. Black apparently doesn't want to print anymore even though it's still fucking full.
HP YOU CERTIFIED MOTHERFUCKERS!!! How fucking difficult can it be to make a printer and make it into something that doesn't shit on me every fucking time I want to use it?! Why do I have to deal with your shit, on top of my mother's?! WHY?!!!!
Fuck me. Happy birthday to my mother, and silently I wish that it's her last one. The bitch wouldn't - no she didn't - piss on me even when I was on fire!! Where were you "dear family member" when I was homeless, huh?! WHERE WERE YOU, WHEN I STOOD ON TOP OF A BRIDGE, READY TO END MY LIFE AND BEGGED TO YOU TO ALLOW ME TO STAY IN YOUR HOME FOR THE NIGHT?! Mother my fucking ass. A blood bond that I wish I never had! And that I have to work for now, because you fucking bitch can't even possibly think as far into the future as to invite your peers for a birthday party.. I dunno, maybe a week in advance, like a sensible human being would? At least she's improving, my little sister's and brother's birthdays she just invited me for the day before. And I also had to get a present ready for, in the middle of the fucking night. Fucking hell!!!12 -
I feel like at some point it'll become more shit than it's ever been. Partially due to the fact that it seems like EVERY school is trying to get the students into computer science at this point.
NOT EVERYBODY BELONGS IN COMPUTER SCIENCE. PLAIN AND SIMPLE. IT'S NOT FOR EVERYONE.
I feel like some kids that are being forced to do computer science will basically be like "huh there's money in this, maybe I could do this" but they're completely shit at it, when they would have been MUCH better off doing something else.
Side rant, somewhat related actually:
I had a teacher last semester that has to teach one of the computer science classes starting this year (I was not taking her computer science class, it was an unrelated class). From what I've seen, she does not seem fit to teach the class at all.
She's supposed to be teaching some simple programming (no clue what languages, I didn't bother to take the comp sci class). And she knows that I know the stuff, so she would ask me about the simplest things. Which is 100% fine...if she wasn't teaching a computer science class.
She just does not seem fit to teach a computer science class. I'm sure that the school basically just threw her in there because they needed SOMEONE.
I'm honestly kinda scared for the students in the class that might want to go further into computer science, only having taken that class and having met the requirement for a more advanced class, but then being thrown into a class where they don't know a fucking thing.6 -
SPDX. Actually a cool idea, you slap one line of comment in your source files that gives the licence. Easy to understand at a glance, and grep friendly. Also no more "huh what exactly does this licence here say, is that MIT, BSD with or without shit or what".
But once you have something simple, you can bet some design committee tries to "improve" it and cover everything imaginable.
The result looks like this (see also screenshot): https://wiki.spdx.org/view/...
Holy shit. What was that about? Simplifying crap? Yeah sure that's totally what it looks like.3 -
- - Hey buddy, can you create a simple App for me to publish on the Play store?
- let me see first what features you need
- - **Spending 20 minutes talking about so many features and out of the box design**
- that's it?
- - yes that is it, it'svery simple I know it !
- so you think it's simple huh? so fo it yourself !...4 -
Oh God, how I hate a new windows laptop.
The machine just stutter for simple things. I literally spent almost two hours to download a 2 gigs .iso file.
With my speed test as normal as it always was with my previous and slower machine.
The worst part is to install another os.
I struggled to find an option in BIOS to disable Intel's RST. Which was a no no because Ubuntu couldn't understand it's config.
There's an app that comes pre installed to manage these settings. And the sucker didn't have any option to disable. Why? Because It's deprecated!
I spent 5 hours to understand that l needed to access the machine BIOS and activate a hidden option (did you think the option was right there huh?) in order to remove Intel RST.
Oh God how I hate tech monopoly.
Now my machine can breath without shitloads of unused apps and garbage "file checkers" and "anti viruses" that comes pre installed.
And things download super fast without any struggles.9 -
Fuck JetBrain! So I'm sitting there, unhappy with Vim, wanting to write a simple timer program to execute scripts and alarms at a given time. Trying gedit and gvim, huh, lets give PyCharm a try! Well: PyCharm uses fucking Spaces by default and it automaticaly reformats my entire project from tabs to spaces. After that it fucked up a merge, and rendered everything useless, as python cant execute mixed intendation, and PyCharm wasnt working anymore because somehow important project files were corrupted through merge. Fuck this shit. Now im running Geany. It works.10
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Stack Overflow people have profound buffallo bullcrap on their skulls, they are some software engineers who have fucked COBOL and BASIC, probably somewhere like NASA, just pondering out where someone post a question. They're probably some etilist cult banging a prostitute while delivering that awful downvote imitating the slap they give the chick during sex. They desire questions such as
"RANDOM_fuck_module_Abdul.method() not working in python" or "how to dock the dock by undocking" (tagged: AWS). Not things like "why does the audio tag not work in a PC but works in w3school tester?" or a genuine programming question. Fuck.
We don't tail recurse or loop abc for k in godfuck loops, huh? We make simple things as: a form, a http request to dell.
I hope there penises get rotten in the hell. Period.
this is just a part of SO.13 -
As usual before sleeping i set a timer for shutdown cuz i use my hotspot to surf devrant in bed before sleeping.
My roommate( lets call him AB) sees me writing the command.
AB: what are you doing?
Me: setting a timer to shutdown my computer.
AB: oh nice i want that too... is it just a linux thing?
Me: nope u can do it on windows.. just search the cmd command on google and u are good to go.
AB: you do it. You search.
Me: huh? Why would i do that? Bitch it is simple just google "cmd command shutdown timer" and open the first result.
AB: *extremely dissapointed face and starts searching* i dont understand anything.
Me: AB! The instructions literally explain everything! I can see!!
AB: you are good at computers, u are a computer engineer (im just a second year student)
Me: fuck off *i go to sleep*
Next day i learned that he did it after i left him, and that it did shutdown but he wasnt done with his work and he was too lazy to google how to cancel it.... JUST GOOGLE DAMMIT!!! -
So, today, I wanted to try setting up a wireguard VPN server on my little raspberry pi at home. I... expected /some/ issues, but what I found dumbfounded me.
1 - I already had the wireguard package from the unstable branch of the main raspbian repo installed... Huh, okay.
2 - Setting up config was extremely easy... Wow, so the rumors were true. Wireguard really is almost dumb-simple.
3 - Failed to create a network interface? Oh, trouble, here it is! So lets see... modprobe wireguard... Nope. Don't have the module? What?
4 - Reconfigure package to rebuild the module - missing kernel headers? Huh... weird
This was the simple stuff... Then I went down the rabbit hole of the Raspberry Pi ecosystem:
1 - There is the Raspberry Pi Bootloader, that is apparently separate from the Kernel itself. And I didn't seem to have any of the standard linux-image-* installed... What? Weird, yet there I was, running a 4.19.42-v7+ kernel...
2 - No kernel and no headers... What... The... Fuck
3 - Okay, so... Lets just... try to install the latest kernel image then? One apt-get install... It downloaded the image, but during package configuration, it failed because... I didn't have... its headers? What? What for? And if it needs them (for whatever reason), why isn't the headers package as a dependency? Ugh, whatever...
4 - Another apt-get install and... Okay, building the initrd image aaaaand...
FAIL
WHAT. What is it this time!?
Oh... Ran... No more space on device? What? Is /boot independent? Of course it is, it has to be, its a bloody different filesystem
Okay, so, lets che-OH MY GOD WTF.
Its just bloody 45 MBs big! The entire /boot is just 45 MBs large. WHY. THE. FUCK.
This was a default raspbian install from I have no idea when. But... Why. Oh WHY would ANYONE pre-configure /boot to be this incredibly tiny!?
No wonder the new init ramdisk couldn't fit in there! Its already used up from 64%!
Thanks, Raspbian Devs, now I gotta reinstall the whole system because, yes, the /boot is, of course, sector 8192. Just far enough from 2048 that there are *some* sectors free - About 3 MBs.
So what did I try? Remove the partition and recreate it from the very beginning. Only... I never tried in in the past, and okay, kernel doesn't like having the partition where its image resides deleted on the fly, it will not give up FDs pointing there or something.
So now, I have a system I cannot reboot, or it will never boot back up :|
Thanks, Raspbian!
I need to get a cheap 1U somewhere or something T.T1 -
Ok so.. thoughts on MySQL,
SELECT max(column_name) from table_name;
Outputs the max value in the column by kinda traversing the whole column huh... Recursive🤔
While
SELECT concat(column_name) from table_name; outputs simple endl separated srrings. . .. no recursion. PHP backend sucks
😣7 -
Huh, just created a job in Jenkins to run msbuild over some solutions. The job accepted a parameter called "Configuration" which was just some simple JSON.
Everytime I ran the job, msbuild failed.
Then I realised that the Debug/Release info for a .NET Solution gets put into an environment variable called "Configuration" that msbuild creates and relies on! >.< -
After years of using an android wear on a regular basis I've gotten used to it, I use pujie black for a simplistic watch face and love it, I answer calls on it (although it doesn't have a speaker), and reading texts has been a lifesaver at times. I initially had an issue with the battery life but that was probably my fault for creating a really animation heavy watch face on watchmaker. Anyways while I love the thing it's really excessive (i know original argument huh?), I would love a smart band that can do all the simple things ( tell time make calls and display/read notifications ) and some awesome IoT remote functionality. After some research I found the nex band (I had actually seen this band often prior on Amazon but always just skipped over it cause I assumed that it was a fitness tracker, lesson learned again, don't assume). It looked promising, unfortunately it lacked a few key points that are essential to me. It was missing the most obvious thing, a clock, the band is split up into 4-5 rgb displays so there isn't much room for a clock. Second there is a proprietary clip on micro usb adapter (Ughhhhhh). Finally it it looks too niche and bulky. I'm keeping an eye on it cause i would love it if they at least fixed the clock and appearance issue as I don't travel much so the adapter would just sit on my nightstand anyways. Does anyone know of anything similar to the nex, everytime I search anywhere I get nothing but fitness or motion trackers.